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High School of Cliches: New Year's Nonsense

By Domus Vocis

Let's see. This series has had our main characters making out in a car, a bedroom, under a stadium, followed by a steamy sex scene in the bedroom, then an automobile again, and now...

Hunter gripped the top of the bedframe as his fox's lips enveloped his cock.

...another bedroom. Ugh, can't we be a little more creative with sex?

"I'm--mfh! N-Not complaining!"

"R-Re reither!"

Hunter fucked himself into Holden's maw with rapid succession. Both reveled as the shepherd's balls slapped his chin, their tails swishing behind them in the air. Hunter whimpered at the warmth wrapping around his dick as it slid between succulent walls and a slippery tongue. His boyfriend's velvet lips kissed and drank in the throbbing meat, while his vulpine tongue danced around the tender foreskin.

"T-Teasing fox--ahhh!"

Holden braced underneath for an incoming climax, but the German shepherd straddling above him paused, slowly pulling out between pants.

"Ack, gluh...w-what is it? We don't have long until the guys pick us up, remember?"

Hunter nodded. "I know," he smirked, gripping the fox's pinchable rear and scratching his sices. "But he'll be a bit late because of the roads."

Both made a momentary glance outside the frostbitten window of Holden's bedroom. If one looked close enough, flurries of snowflakes and hail could be visible past the 6:00 darkness.

To which Holden quipped, "So with the weather outside being frightful, you think we could...do something more delightful?"

The larger canine heaved a laugh. "Roll over, ya dork."

Said fox eagerly rolled over onto his stomach, pressing his rear up high and preparing for the cold sensation of cherry-flavored lubricant. Instead, much to his surprise, Hunter's tongue licked at the crevasse between his two firm vulpine mounds, making his tail and toes curl.

"T-T-That's new..." Holden yipped. "Mfh, ah!"

Licking his lips, Hunter probed his tongue further down his firm, pert cheeks. The writhing fox moaned and let him stretch the moist ring loose. As much as he wasn't for the roles of a bottom (much to his fans' disappointment), he still grew curious all the while about how he could pleasure his boyfriend even more. He pushed his fox's anal ring wider with his pink tongue, each lick causing electrifying spasms. Minutes later, Hunter leaned upward to a better angle, gripped Holden and pushed his phalanx.

Warmth enclosed around Hunter's cock. Not three exciting thrusts inward though...

"Hey, Hunter, Holden, you ready to go or--Holy Christ!"

Hunter jerked his neck to find Jason standing in the doorway, his back now turned away from them.

"I'll uh...me and the guys're waiting outside. I'll tell 'em you're still uh...getting ready."

He slammed the door, leaving them frozen in embarrassment.

Holden sighed. "Not again..."

"Tell me about it," Hunter groaned, "but they're waiting..."

Quickly getting themselves dressed, the German shepherd and fox came downstairs in their coats and boots, but not before another round of humiliation for our horny canines.

"Do you need snacks for the party, sweetie?" Mrs. Brewin asked from the couch.

"Or condoms?" Mary joked, then made a barfing noise. "Perverts."

Hunter and Holden hurried out the door in seconds flat.

***

"I can't get no satisfaction, I can't get no satisfaction," a song played aloud on the radio. "'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try I can't get no, I can't get no..."

Laughter escaped from Spud's throat. "Jason caught you two fuck--"

"Shut it."

"Unfortunately, yes I did," the Bengal sighed while driving his car. "Hunter, why did I have to see your furry ass--"

"Shut it."

"--butt-thrusting into--"

"Shut it."

"Okay, sorry, Holden. Sorry."

"Augh, shit no," Spud asked, slightly disgusted, "Hey, do I smell cherry--"

"Shut it."

"What?" he shrugged. "I just smell it on you two. Is it deodorant or lu--"

"Shut it."

The hyena giggled. "Damn, it's lube isn't it?"

"Shut it."

"Will you two quit saying 'shut it', already?" Dustin asked them before turning Jason and Spud sitting and chuckling in front. "Those two have sex, so what? Guys, we shouldn't make fun of them or mention it tonight."

"Why?" Jason joked, the tiger still snickering. "Do you wanna get in a threesome with 'em, Dustin?"

"SHUT IT!" Hunter, Holden and the cheetah football captain shouted together.

Why couldn't I be written by Tayu? Hunter whined in his inner thoughts. At least his characters eventually have sexual release. Oh! Or maybe Sisco?

Don't count on it. You could never pull off a British accent.

"Can we please change the subject?" the shepherd jock squirmed in his seat. "Neither of us want to discuss our sex life. I mean it, Jason. You too, Spud."

"Okay, okay, jeez," the tiger continued concentrated on the road, now thickening with snowfall. "Hey Holden, how was Christmas for you and Hunter?"

"It went pretty well," the fox chirped, despite the continued (sexual) tension in the air. "We each sat at home, got ourselves snowed in and texted while celebrating with our families. Mom got me a new sweater and some new games."

"Cool," his friend nodded. "And you, Hunt?"

"I got some new clothes from the relatives and a new phone," the German shepherd beamed behind them. Pulling it out of his pocket, Hunter presented them the new $Phone 7.0, complete with new cameras and a larger screen. Plus, it looked expensive enough for politicians to argue it's worth as much as health insurance.

"Holy crap," Dustin whistled. "Goddamn that's big."

"That's what she said."

"It's so slick and shiny."

"That's what she said."

"Seriously, look at how thick this thing is. I could hardly put it in my pants."

"That's what she said!" Spud cackled in his seat, to which everyone laughed as well, even Hunter. "Hehehe! So, ya gotta thank Mr. Preacher for your present, eh?"

"Definitely!" he nodded.

Ever since the Thanksgiving Dinner Fiasco, Angela got herself in a heap of trouble with her father. Daddy Dearest wouldn't have any of her excuses this time and doubled down on punishing her by completing school at an emergency prep school somewhere on the East Coast. According to the rumor mill, until the new semester begins, the golden she-wolf would be staying with either relatives in Minnesota or some hotel beforehand. As far away from Greenville as possible. Seems premature though.

"Premature timing, says the one who posted a Thanksgiving-themed story in October?"

"Good one there, Jase," Hunter snickered, his tail wagging onto his lap.

"No prob," the tiger smirked after a moment, "Speaking of premature timing though, did you two manage to finish after I uh...ya know...interrupted?"

Spud still snickered.

Without a single beat, Hunter stared deadpan at him and the hyena.

"Yeah, we're just gonna ignore that question entirely, Jase." Holden frowned. "So mind telling our audience what's going on, narrator?"

Sure thing.

It was wintertime in Greenville, Wisconsin. Christmas had already passed on in a snowy flash, leaving the small town's denizens yearning for the next holiday to be excited for: New Year's Eve. Tonight, Hunter and Holden were looking forward to a New Year's Eve party hosted by the second-richest classmate living in their fictional county, Remington Whitehall. Although only fourteen years old, the young river otter's popularity rivaled Angela Preacher's, then went soaring ever since word got out about the she-wolf's scandal.

And how were they so wealthy, you may ask? Bitcoin, of all things.

To top it all off, Remington's parents were fortunately said to be hosting a cryptocurrency seminar in Chicago for New Year's. They wanted their son to watch over the house and would be back before January 3rd. Of course, nobody in town cared why they weren't home, but it didn't stop anyone eager to party.

"There it is!" Jason pointed out the window. "Wow, look at all the people parked in the front yard. That's a lot of cars..."

"Think we should give the lovebirds some time to themselves before we leave?" Spud sniggered aloud. "Like four, five minutes tops?"

Dustin moaned from the back. "Leave 'em alone, you two."

Jason, however, ignored the stern cheetah. "Yeah," he laughed, glancing in the mirror to Hunter. "Hey Hunt, try not to spill yourself and Holden all over my interior, will ya?"

Hunter was ready to strangle his howling friends when...

"Jason, Spud," Holden spoke up before his boyfriend could. "Have either of you seen what happened to Steve Buscemi at the end of 'Fargo'? It involves a gunshot wound, the axe and the woodchipper?" When neither of them couldn't form a reply, but instead stared in confused terror, the fox wagged his tail and grinned. "Great ending."

"Great film too," Dustin couldn't resist curling his lips upward. "Diana made me watch it, and I could never look at Minnesota the same way again."

"I love that movie so much," Hunter held the fox's paw, guiding him out of the car. "I mean, McDormand can do no wrong. Now let's go, guys! We've got a party!"

The Whitehall family built their two-story home in the countryside, a craftsman-styled house with a property as large as their school, along a hilltop overlooking undeveloped property. All if it lay overgrown and waiting for interested buyers eager or not in moving to a small town in the middle of Wisconsin farmland. As for the house itself, it now lay blanketed under deep January winter, but it didn't matter. True to what Jason said earlier, cars packed the large driveway, some of them covered in white snow while others recently arrived for what was supposed to be the biggest party in the whole county.

"Oh shit!" Spud hollered gleefully. "Lots of people, a warm countryside house and half the chick population here?! This is gonna be epic!"

"You said it!" Jason roared happily over the loud music. "Pussy city, here we come!"

And when they opened the doors, they found...

"Um."

...a group of various adults sitting around tables with Bibles in their paws. One of them included Pastor Levi from the local church, whose eyes lit up like Christmas ornaments.

"Well now! Good evening, children!" the elder otter greeted from his chair. "You're just in time for the New Year's Eve Party we're hosting."

"What the...?" Spud gaped in disbelief.

"Must've gotten ourselves lost, Pastor," Jason apologized for everyone. "Isn't this 2030 Elm Wood Road?"

"No, this is 3020 Elm Wood Road," Pastor Levi corrected them, his smile not wavering (unlike the other elderly folks glaring at them (especially from Mrs. Burgess towards a fox and a certain German shepherd)). "Just down the road, you can't miss it."

"Thanks, Pastor Levi!" the Bengal waved before tugging his friends with them.

"Wait, are you sure you don't want to stay here?" the otter asked, forcing our five characters to pause by the doorway. "I know we're not 'young' or 'fleek' like the kids, but even Christians know how to have fun. We were just beginning to read my favorite Bible story about Jonah and the Whale."

Hunter smiled. Even with their plans, part of him wanted to stay for the kind otter.

"Maybe another time, Pastor," Dustin saved them, however. "We're meeting up with friends and got the wrong house. Sorry to interrupt."

"Yeah, yeah another time," Spud went out the door, joining the cheetah and Bengal outside. "Happy New Year!"

Hunter and Holden were about to walk out to the car when Mrs. Burgess spoke up and said, "Pastor Levi, I'd prefer if you read Leviticus instead. These young devils ought to know--"

"Better get to your party, kids!" Levi interrupted her. "Have a Happy New Year!"

Holden chirped. "You too! And you as well, Mrs. Burgess!"

Several minutes later, their car finally arrived to the right destination. Right property, right house and right driveway full of cars. To be sure, they could still hear the party music blare across the deserted front yard. Inside was another matter.

Classmates and students from other counties mingled in seats, leaned against walls, holding sodas or beer smuggled from the Whitehall's liquor cabinet. On the right, in the living room connected to the kitchen, groups gathered food for what could be described as a mockery of Thanksgiving. A pile of plastic cups forming beside a crowded keg, several dozen jocks buzzed and watching the latest action flick by Michael Bay. In the adjoining family room to the left, the bombastic music echoed through every attending fur's skulls. It didn't stop anyone from singing and dancing though.

"The folks are gone, it's time for big fun! Big fun!" a song blared throughout the walls and ceiling. "We're up till dawn having some big fun! Big fun!"

"Really, from a musical of all places?!" Hunter yelled to Holden and their friends, only to find the latter distracted by a pair of big-breasted females wearing Kageville High Hellfish jerseys. "Right, abandon your friends and go for the big tits, guys!"

Holden squeezed onto the shepherd's paw and smiled up to him. "Forget about them, hun," he grinned before signaling for the taller canine to lend his ear down. "You're grumpy. I think we should finish what we started earlier."

Hunter's eyes immediately lit up. "Go on."

"Let's find an empty bathroom right now, where nobody'll bother us," the fox explained in hidden lust, his tail wagging with Hunter's, "and I'll give you a real reason to sing."

He blushed under his cheekfur, and suddenly Hunter felt the blood rush somewhere below the belt. All the humiliation from before erased itself away, but not the doubt.

"What about...ya know...everyone here?" he whispered back.

"Who cares? They're background characters anyway," Holden shrugged as he gripped onto the shepherd's paw. "Besides, I doubt the author'll give us any consequences to our actions, right? Right?"

...maybe?

Hunter simply grunted, "...good enough!"

Eager as children on Christmas, they went in search for a nearby restroom in the crowded, dysfunctional house. Before they could escape to upstairs, however, an audible voice stopped them in their tracks.

"Hey Thurman! Good to see you!"

Groaning, Hunter turned to see a tan river otter two-thirds of his height, his headfur barely able to match Holden's eyes. He wore a t-shirt and matching pair of money-covered pajama bottoms, with his rudder-like tail trailing behind him. Despite his obvious age as a freshman, classmates of every year noted his presence and greeted the smiling otter.

He couldn't help joining in. "Hey Remington," the elder jock waved, eventually shaking the otter's smaller paw. "It's good to see you at last."

"Same here," he replied before glancing up to Holden. "I'm trying to remember, uh...it's Holden Brewin, right? I heard so much about you."

The fox grinned and shook paws. "It is. You must be the host."

"Remington Whitehall," the otter introduced himself, then added, "the Third. So did you two just get here? I can't believe you two came, given what I heard about Angela. Sorry to hear about that, Hunter."

"It's fine," he shrugged. "Just happy she's not gonna keep harassing us anymore. So who's here? I don't even recognize half of anybody in this place."

"Anywhere and everywhere around Greenville!" he replied. "The parents are gone all weekend, so whatever happens will happen. I can hire someone to clean up tomorrow! Including all the clubs at our school, I've also invited the varsity football teams, the varsity rugby, varsity hockey..."

"I didn't know we had a hockey team," Holden commented.

"--then the varsity golf, varsity track, varsity Pokemon GO!, varsity Magic: The Gathering, and chess."

"Anyways," Holden spoke up over a group of boys hooting their way down the tall staircase, "can you show me where the restroom is? This house is so big!"

"Top of the stairs and down the hall to the right," he pointed upward where partygoers either talked or made out along the railing. "If it's busy, just use either mine or my parents'!"

Great! Thanks! Talk to you later! Wonderful party, Rem!"

As soon as the coast was clear, Hunter followed Holden into the bathroom and locked the door. The music blaring below grew muffled into small vibrations, but their focuses remained on the other. Screw the world, they were horny. Panting with excitement, they devoured each other's lips, the German shepherd pushing his fox's short, slender body against the granite sink.

"Ow."

"Sorry, sweetie. Didn't mean to."

"Shut up and fuck me on the sink, you horndog!"

Said horndog complied. Yanking down the fox's jeans onto the tiled floor, Hunter gulped upon finding a tight pair of rainbow underwear. A thong, actually.

He glanced up to his lithe lover. "Really?"

"Wanted to surprise you," Holden teased him in a high-pitched, needy whine. He'd already rolled the helm of his shirt up to expose his red-and-black-furred belly. If it were pink and had two tassels connected to a hoodie, Holden would've resembled a certain Internet meme. "Now take 'em off and make me cum! Please~!"

Hunter readily pulled the velvet thong down and lifted his begging boyfriend onto the edge of the embedded bathroom sink. The horny fox yipped at the cold granite momentarily freezing his naked butt and pulled the larger canine into an addictive kiss. Together, Holden and Hunter danced their tongues in-between squeals and savory saliva. Before you know it, the latter had lowered his underwear to free his confined length and felt milliliters of precum leak. Good God, Hunter's maleness was fucking hard.

Something crossed his mind though. "We don't have--"

"Already prepared," Holden held a small bottle of lube, which he snagged from his pocket. "Here, sweetie. Don't be gentle."

Hunter eagerly squeezed a glob of the liquid gel into his paw and curled his slick fingers down under. His hole had already been loosened earlier, but it still made our foxy protagonist's cock twitch and his inner walls spasm with pleasure. The look of ecstasy could be seen in Holden's eyes as they rolled to the back of his head, and in the way his legs trembled, his fingers gripped the counter, and how his toes stretched over his boyfriend's hunching back. In and out, in and out, followed by prodding rotations that neared the prostate. Hunter even spent the time licking and nipping at his lover's cute set of balls the more his thick digits toyed around.

"Mfh! Ahh! Oh! Mfah! Oh! Oh...oh...oh!"

"For fuck's sake, can you just fucking quit with the onomatopoeia already, narrator?!"

Fine. Writing detailed onomatopoeia for sex scenes is tedious anyway.

"Thank you! Now, where were we? Oh yeah, this!"

Hunter grinned before pushing his index finger deeper, making Holden moan further.

Like that, the whole party seemed miles away for them. Instead there remained their hunger for orgasm. Without another word, Hunter pulled his fingers out and drooled over the foxy twink held in his powerful arms, panting and smiling at him dreamily. Like a switch, neither waited for the German shepherd's erect length to begin thrusting inside.

Both struggled stifling their animalistic cries. Holden's breathing hitched while Hunter gladly lunged his erect cock upward, and pulled it out in repeated, fueling fashion. He grew bolder and went harder to much enthusiastic effect. The more his fox's hole stretched for his accommodating shaft, the faster he roughly pushed. As this happened, Holden's aching rear tightening around the thick member invading him, each stroke powerful and dominant. Hunter's tongue lolled at feeling his dick hilt and poke at the fox's prostate. The way Holden's thighs smacked against his caused their rutting to become entwined. Soon enough, Hunter's vigilance grew lost in his actions. Instead his glazed, lustful eyes kept in contact between Holden's, as if looking away would make this moment, this small world they occupied, disappear.

They kissed, and it was too much. After being denied earlier that day, neither could contain themselves anymore. Two long streaks of fox seed jetted onto Holden's bare stomach, following Hunter unloading all his cum in three final thrusts.

Suddenly, as he blissfully leaned over his spent boyfriend sitting on the sink, he could hear purring. "Mmm," Hunter chuckled between deep pants. "I...didn't know...you liked...purring...after sex."

Holden opened his eyes. "Huh? What purring?"

Both canines perked their dark ears upward, their tails raised in alarm. The purring could be heard coming from an enclosed shower beside the sink. Someone was here. Carefully pulling himself out of Holden, who winced from the rushed discomfort and empty void under his curled tail, Hunter swiftly pushed aside the curtain to find in the bath tub...

"Huh? What the...?" he gawked in utter shock.

"Oh my God," Holden giggled while covering his face. "Really, Narrator???"

...two half-naked chicks with discarded jeans and panties underneath them.

And based on their flushed cheeks and deep panting (plus the glazed afterglow mixing in their embarrassed expressions), it was safe to assume they weren't taking a shower.

Of course not, Sherlock! Hunter hissed in his thoughts. They simply wanted to test the plumbing without any panties or bras!

Minus the conversations outside the bathroom door, and the booming music below, total silence reigned between all four of them.

Frozen at what he saw, Hunter couldn't help looking them over as Holden jumped down from the countertop. One female was a tan-and-black-furred lioness who looked either like a senior or college freshman, and whose facial expression matched the German shepherd's. Under the luscious feline's body sat a blushing vixen, her top discarded and chest exposed as well for our main characters to see.

"Wait," Hunter's eyes widened. "Charlotte...Chaste?"

The vixen and her family always attended church. Even so, she was clearly mortified. Her boobs shook as she trembled in the tub, their delicate bounce hypnotizing Hunter away from his state of shock.

Holden, peeking an eye open, lightly frowned. "Eyes off, jock!"

SMACK!

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" Hunter bit his lip so not to scream, while his ass cheeks stung like a nasty hornet's vendetta. As quick as he could, he began shoving his flaccid cock into his underwear. "Holden, you little--"

"L-Look, we were just..." Charlotte stammered, "...went quiet when you two..." The vixen's blushing cheeks camouflaged into her russet fur along with a flustered nosebleed. "We t-thought..."

"We didn't mean to disturb you two ladies, nor for you, mfh, to be stuck there hearing us," the fox attempted a smile as he hurriedly put his pants back up. "We just needed to uh, hehe...unwind a bit for the party downstairs. We didn't know the...author wanted to include some female-on-female action."

If it weren't for the burn on his bare butt, Hunter would've questioned why his boyfriend was acting casual. He would've asked why Holden's face still radiated an afterglow, yet the vulpine's eyes sharpened whenever he tried glancing back to the two topless lesbians in the tub.

"Uh...thanks?" the lioness replied, sitting up and covering her chest with her bra. "Wait, I know you two! You're Hunter and Holden. I saw you play last year when I attended Rukisburg High." She pointed to the former. "Can you please stop staring at my friend's tits, already?"

SMACK!

"Ow!" Hunter growled at a cheeky Holden. "Will you..." He lowered his voice, "cut that out?"

The fox grinned mischievously. "When you stop ogling them. Seriously, put some clothes on. They're probably embarrassed enough, sweetie."

Glancing down to his flaccid crotch, Hunter's fur rose in shock. "Oh my God," he grabbed his pants off the floor. "I'm so sorry."

"Just keep it down before you alert the entire house, will ya?" the lioness murmured.

"T-Thanks again," the vixen crossed her arms over her chest in sheer humiliation. Her eyes then lit up upon looking at them again. "You're Hunter Thurman, the quarterback? Aren't you supposed to be...gay?"

Hunter, in spite of his clear annoyance, smirked. "Aren't you supposed to be straight?"

While Charlotte blushed furthermore, the lioness laughed beside her. "Touché, there Hunter."

"I...I won't tell about this if you don't, okay?" the vixen spoke as everyone started to dress themselves. "If my parents found out I...I'm here, with Gina--"

"Deal."

"Deal."

***

The party carried on as the countdown to midnight neared. Hunter and Holden joined back with Duke, Spud and a nearby Jason. Hunter noted George's absence, but didn't feel bothered in any way. Dustin had joined with Diana Brenham, his long-time girlfriend somewhere else at the party, but it didn't reduce their fun. Over the course of three hours, they all witnessed their entire football team devour everything in the fridge, lay witness to an intense dance-off in the living room, several drunken rounds of spin-the-bottle (barring couples, thankfully) between sophomores, spotted a twenty-something substitute teacher walk upstairs with a male senior trailing by, the decimation of the liquor cabinet and the pleasure of watching teenagers with bright futures act like total idiots.

"Party rock is in the house tonight," several sang to the music, "Everybody just have a good time! And we gon' make you lose your mind! Everybody just have a good time!"

Yep, Hunter concluded. This party is never gonna die.

And in the family room, several tipsy partygoers sat down on the Corinthian-leather couches, watching a playlist of Donald Trump rallies, taking shots whenever he mentioned trademarked phrases such as 'fake news', 'great', 'huge' or 'winning'.

Holden's ears visibly perked. "Wait," he asked with curiosity, "are we talking about pre-election rallies or post-election rallies?"

"Post-election!" one of the drinkers hollered joyously, then paused as he watched the droll orangutan ramble on. "Oh, that makes three in one sentence!"

"Count me in!" Duke announced eagerly.

"Count me in as well!" Holden shrugged, turning to kiss Hunter on the cheek before disappearing into the family room. "Talk to you later, sweetie!"

"Awwww!" several partygoers pointed at the German shepherd.

Hunter growled at them in embarrassment. "Shut up..."

The pit bull and our foxy protagonist happily joined on the couch with a shot in one paw and eyes on the screen, leaving the German shepherd to wander further through the crowded house. Meanwhile, Spud decided to venture into the Whitehall's kitchen for some snacks, leaving Hunter to watch Jason try and fail once more at flirting.

"Hey babe, do you need someone to keep you warm in this polar vortex?"

"Hello beautiful. We're in Mrs. Liebowitz's history class, right? Wanna be a part of an important date in mine?"

"My parents keep telling me to follow my dreams, so mind if I follow you into a...secluded spot?"

"You must be Goggle, because you have everything I'm searching for."

One of whom included Sasha Burns of the cheerleading squad.

"Hey Sasha, it's Jason from Trigonometry," the Bengal tiger leaned in to the disinterested she-wolf in a pink blouse, grinning 'seductively' at her. "Do you wanna hook up with an endangered species? I'm only found in Southeast Asia."

"Why don't you go extinct, and maybe I'll gain more interest," she burned him and walked away, her tail wagging over her curved rear.

"That's it? Nothing else about that ass?" Jason asked dryly, his tail curled at the brutal refusal. "Never thought I'd bring it up, but I personally think this story could use more purple prose involving chicks."

Hunter couldn't help laughing. "Of course, you would say that! This is my story, sadly, and you missed something upstairs you would've liked."

"What's that?" the Bengal asked, to which Hunter whispered in his ear everything minus him and Holden and the identity of the two females. "Huh??? You say them doing what???"

"Full cleavage and unhidden pussy, man!" he made a shit-eating grin. "Pressed together in a sweaty pile, and it looked like they really got down on each other. Can't say who they are, but damn. If me and Holden weren't together, it would've been the closest thing I ever got to seeing sex outside of porn."

"Goddamn it, now I'm hard," Jason hissed in his ear, pulling his jacket down over his crotch.

"Hunter Thurman?" came a girl's voice behind them.

He whirled around and formed an innocent smile, facing two female coyotes in colorful dresses, and carrying two plastic cups.

"Yes, that's me (totally not talking about women like sex objects)!"

"I'm Kendra," said one coyote, "and this is my bestest friend, Lana!"

"Do I know you two?" the muscled dog asked. "I can't say I remember."

"I go to another school in Eau Claire, actually!" one of them giggled. "Kendra is in your Gym class and told me about you being gay! It's cool that you play for the other team."

"But Lana!" the other moaned to her friend. "How can he play for the other team if he's attracted only to the same team?"

"I'm bi, actually," the shepherd commented sheepishly. "Just saying..."

The two coyotes widened their eyes and started whispering to each other.

"I'm so fucking jealous of you, dude!" Jason murmured beside him. "The moment you mention having a boyfriend, and you somehow become a fucking chick magnet!"

Speaking of which, Hunter yelped out, "Oh shit!"

In line of Hunter's sight, he could spot a group of familiar faces by the house's entrance.

The Hunter x Holden Fan Club.

Remington did say, "Including all the clubs at our school, I've also invited..."

"Nice seeing you two, but I gotta find my boyfriend! Jase, can you--"

"Way ahead of ya, dude!" the Bengal eagerly wrapped his arms around the two confused coyotes. "Ladies, have you ever hooked up with an endangered species?"

If the Fan Club and yaoi fangirls were here, there'd be only one singular reason. Hunter knew he needed to find Holden and hide, before either of them were spotted. Lord, know what'd happen if our invincible protagonists were captured by a horde of horny fujoshis.

They're fucking crazy and you know it! Hunter mind-shrieked.

At last, he found the fox sitting at the far corner of the family room, where a bunch of drunk teens struggled to stay awake (or keep their dinners). Beside him lay a sleeping Duke. At only under two-hundred pounds, with his quick wit and high metabolism, the winning champion of the 2nd Annual Donald Trump Drinking Game is...

"Aha!" Holden slurred with a shot in a paw. "That's 'fake news', 'media', 'Democrats' and...*hiccup* in one sentence! Yay on me!"

Hunter grabbed the drink and set it down. "I think you've had enough Colonel Morgan, sweetie--"

"I'll never have enough!" the fox tried reaching for the drink.

"How much did you drink?"

"Uh...heh, [redacted] shots..."

Hunter gasped. "You drank that much in only five minutes?!"

"Hey," the fox argued, "blame our president for not having a larger *belch* vocab!"

"Move! You're blocking the screen, Queer *burp* as folk!"

"Yeah, get a room, fags! No *bleh* offense!"

"Come on, they're in here!" a fangirl cried out. "Hey, you two should make out!"

"I kissed a boy, they liked it," a song played within the immediate background. "Got all the honeys in the club excited."

Holden's eyes lit up, now serous. "Run for your life!"

They both leapt over the couch and hurried into the connecting room. To their surprise, it happened to be the dining room, home to a serious game of strip poker between the seniors. One lion in underwear shivered in his chair as his next card tactic compelled a female Cocker Spaniel to discard her bra.

SMACK!

"Ow!" Hunter yelped. "Goddamn it, I wasn't even looking!"

"Hehehe!" the fox beside him giggled.

Both canines hurried into the back kitchen now viscerally littered in crumbs, beer cans and drunken party goers. Navigating the colossal mess of bodies, they found Spud among the mass, half-passed out with a bottle of whiskey in one paw and an open cereal box in the other.

"Hey Hunter," the hyena giggled. "Next year's gonna be a bitch burning off all these calories, eh? Coach'll really be mad!"

This led to hallways densely packed with people either kissing, flirting or both.

"Down here!"

"We need to hide, somewhere else and fast, *belch* sweetie!" Holden managed to say through the [redacted] shots of Colonel Morgan. When they both could hear cheers behind them, the fox pointed to the door at the end of the hallway. "There! Over there!"

"Oh, Hunter? Oh, Holden? We know you're here..."

In a flash, the shepherd and fox disappeared into the room and locked it closed.

"Look, it's those two gay guys!" someone spoke behind them.

"OMG, that's so hot!" whispered a moaning chick. "So hot!"

Perking their ears high, Hunter and Holden turned around to find themselves in the Whitehall's rustic library-turned-temporary make out-room. Some couples either blinked at their presence, or casually persisted in still kissing (like Spud in the corner with a hyena senior), including a certain cheetah captain with his gazelle girlfriend, on a couch beside the door.

"Wait," Holden gawked and giggled, "Dustin's girlfriend is a gazelle? That's rich!"

Said gazelle pulled her lips from Dustin's. "Hunter? Is that you?"

"Wait, Holden too?" Dustin groaned at their cockblocking. "Why are you two here?"

Then came a morbid pounding to the door. "Yaoiiiiiiii...We need yaoiiiii..."

Dustin sighed. "Them again?"

"We know you're in there, guyssssss! Come out!"

"Why did nobody mention Dustin's girlfriend just so happened to be a gazelle?" Holden slurred against his boyfriend's body. "I mean, my mom's had interspecies boyfriends, but you have to tell me how it works!"

"We just do!" he stated.

"Aww, the predator and they prey," the fox giggled. "It's like Romeo & Juliet, if Romeo--"

"Can we focus, sweetie?" Hunter asked the fox, gripping the door handle as he heard more murmuring and moaning outside. "In case you forgot, a horde of those fangirls on the other end of the door. Ready. To. Get. Us."

"Hunter, they're not zombies..." Holden laughed while swaying his body with his frizzled tail. "They're just a bunch of freshman girls who've never seen guys kiss until Tumblr. What's wrong with indulging--"

"I need to see them kiss now!" someone screamed behind the door. "You can't stay in there forever, boys! Janice, grab something to break the door down!"

Everyone sweated, save for Diana as she suddenly stood up.

"Dusty, come with me," she ordered him and the two canines before her. Everyone could see a determined, almost bored look in the gazelle's eyes. "Step aside, boys. I got this."

"Di, what's going on?"

"You 'got this'?" Hunter repeated her words. "How can you take care of this?"

"Because I think like them," she smirked, before adding, "You two owe me one, by the way. Big time. Now I said step aside."

Our protagonists did just that and braced themselves by the door. Nonchalantly, the tall gazelle grabbed a random book from her purse and gripped onto Dustin's paw. Without any wait she yanked the door all the way open.

"Look what I found," she hollered with the book in her paw, "a young adult novel with two male characters in homoerotic situations! Gayness galore!"

In a single flash, the horde of two dozen teenage girls came tumbling into the room.

"OMG, you have that book? I love the main characters!"

"Squee! The guys're sooooo hot! So hot!"

"I need to write fanfiction for them! Pair 'em off with Jack Frost!"

Before any of them could realize, our own main characters fled the library-turned-ex-make-out room. Hunter glanced back to see Diane casually nod his way, ignoring the fangirling noise and evil glares directed at her in the room.

"Hey girls, those two faggots are behind you!"

A pin dropped as thirty-six young muzzles turned their way.

"Run, you two idiots!" Diana and Dustin hissed.

"Hunter and Holden! Over here!"

"Come on, two kiss! Just one kiss!"

"Annie, I have a new idea for my drawings!"

"Can you two help me choose a dress for Valentine's Day?"

"Have you two had sex yet?! Mind divulging details?!"

"Yaoi, I need yaoi! Don't be shy in showing it, boys!"

Hunter and Holden's fur stood up on end as they bolted down the hallway, dodging passerby that became consumed by the incoming horde. Two unfortunate jackals bumped into Hunter by accident while exiting the bathroom, and their screams of horror rang out behind him. Neither dared look back to witness it. Retreating through the kitchen and dining room into another hallway (seriously, how big is this house?), the fox and German shepherd were desperate to find a hiding place. Unfortunately for them, all the rooms were locked.

Fortunately for them, Hunter spotted a closet at the far end. Pulling his buzzed boyfriend in with him, he closed it shut just as his eyes locked with those of the fangirls. Next came darkness, but he didn't stop gripping his buzzed boyfriend's paw.

"Aw," Holden teased playfully, "did you bring me in here for us to make out?"

"Shh," Hunter whispered, "Their kind thrive on homoeroticism."

Before the inside of the closet could even be described within the narrative, loud clawing and pounding vibrated through the locked door. He could imagine the fangirls crowding at the door, desperate to see him and Holden like museum treasures. And like any eccentric tourist, most wouldn't be bothered destroying them in the process.

"Come out, you guys!"

"Do you think they went in to have sex?"

Suddenly, the clawing and door-pounding grew even louder!

"Narrator, get us the fuck out of this!" Hunter barked in the near-darkness, his back to the door dividing him from them. "For fuck's sake, this shit stopped being funny four chapters ago!"

It looks like our heroes are in quite a bundle. Whatever will they do next time?

"Huh?" Holden asked, deeply confused as Hunter. "What're you doing?"

Will our protagonists be captured by the dreaded fangirls beyond the door?

"Oh shit..." Hunter realized in horror as the pounding and squealing beyond the door grew harder and louder. "You're not frigging serious!"

Will the Hunter x Holden Fan Club achieve their perverted goals?

"Do not just 'Final Space' us here!" he realized in horror. "You're seriously not going to end the season finale like this, right? Nobody likes cliffhangers!"

Will Hunter stop searching his dumb, muscle-headed mind for an escape?

"I'll seriously go 'Creative Minds' on your ass!" the German shepherd snarled, "If you end this chapter, then so help me I will--"

What? What is it, my fictional puppets on strings? My characters who don't live within the real world? Tell me right now what you'll do to threaten me into extending this chapter? Tell me right here, right now! I'm curious! What herculean achievement of interdimensional, reality-bending meta-fiction will make me afraid of my own creations?

Hunter rightly grit his teeth in silence. As for Holden, he said--

"Get us outta here or I'll say Chicken Little's better than Zootopia."

...fuck. Predictable deus ex machina coming up!

***

" WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD IS THIS?!"

A shrieking voice that rivaled Clintonville's mysterious booms trumpeted through the entire mansion. Everyone, from the family room to the living room, the kitchen, the dining room, the staircase, the hallways, the library, the upstairs bedroom, bathrooms and studies heard the all-too familiar voice. Even at the far end of the house, Hunter and Holden heard it in their closet. As did the now silent fangirls no longer pining at the door. Wordlessly, they opened the door and rushed to the front entrance of the house to see two older otters in long coats.

"Remington Charles Whitehall the Third!" the female shrieked at her son. "You have explaining to do! We got a call about a party and rushed back!"

"Mom! Dad! You weren't supposed to be back by Monday!"

His father stepped by a glass full of beer cans. "Seriously? Coasters? Son, you're grounded for this! So help me, if you spilled any beer in my library, you're in even more trouble!"

"Thanks for telling us about this unruliness, Sylvia," Mrs. Whitehall spoke to someone standing behind her.

Before Hunter could see, someone named the elderly she-wolf dressed auspiciously in a black winter coat, wielding a cross in her paw and wearing a nasty frown. It was her.

"Mrs. Burgess!" someone screamed, "Fucking run for it!"

Before anybody could blink, a swamp of teenage debauchery swarmed out the doors and through the windows, including our protagonists. Both managed to grab their coats in the flood of bodies somehow and made it out the door before the Whitehalls or Mrs. Burgess could recognize either, but it didn't matter. It had to be a house-evacuating record of one minute and twenty-two seconds as everyone ran for their cars.

"Fucking hell, does everyone in Wisconsin fear Mrs. Burgess?!" Hunter howled laughing as the she-wolf screamed bloody murder for the hooligans to face justice. "What a party, huh Holden?"

"Fuck yeah!" the fox yipped with glee.

"You're sooo drunk, fox!"

"No_you're drunk!_"

"That doesn't even make sense!"

Luckily for them, the Bengal tiger, Spud, and Dustin joined them at the former's van, and Hunter (being sober) drove right as the cops came by to arrest stragglers. And what had everyone accomplished? Spud ate enough food and whiskey to last the rest of winter, Dustin helped Diana to her car after being booted from the make-out room and Jason--

"--lost your virginity?" Holden asked in genuine astonishment. "Well congrats!"

"Yes," he grinned. "Remember those coyotes, Hunter? They showed me a good time."

While steering through the snowfall, Hunter smirked. "That's great to hear, buddy!"

"Yeah, hurray to Jase!" Spud cackled. "I'd never *belch* heard of someone losing their virginity to two chicks at the same time. That's gotta be a Guinness record!"

Hunter rolled his eyes and smiled, holding the paw of his boyfriend as he sat back in the front seat and started to snooze. Despite his drunken behavior and the chaos of the party and fangirls, the German shepherd had to admit to himself how fun of an evening he had. Especially with his boyfriend for the new year.

Safe to say, he mused at the wheel, Remington's definitely gonna be grounded for life, but this party'll be remembered by the town forever.

It was fifteen to midnight after he dropped Spud and Dustin off at home, but Jason opted to have Hunter and Holden stay offer at his place for the night. After texting his parents and the fox's mother about their whereabouts, the German shepherd carried Holden in his arms bridal-style. If his arms weren't occupied and the weather didn't freeze his balls off, he'd have definitely wiped the smirk off Jason's face at the sight.

"Happy New Year then, mutt," the tiger joked while heading to his bedroom. "Oh, and Hunter?" He smiled. "He is definitely a keeper. Don't let that one go."

I chuckled. "Good night, Jase."

Carefully lying Holden down with him on the couch, Hunter spooned the fox in a warm embrace. Although midnight passed about two minutes ago, he could hear the cheers below in the apartments above. The shepherd sighed and kissed Holden on the cheek.

"Mfh...I love you Hunter."

"I love you too, Holden."

They lay together, cuddling and tired from the long night, and couldn't wait for the new year to come. With one final breath of consciousness, our canid duo mumbled out together, "To every lecherous pervert, closeted teenage furry and devoted reader, don't forget to leave a comment below. See you next time!"

"If the author isn't too lazy."

"Heh," Holden giggled. "Yeah. Or too busy reading filth like this--"

The End...for now?