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U.S.S. Discovery (NCC-91301)

“Second Chances"

“Computer, reduce illumination 80%."

The lighting in the Captain's quarters gave way to the illumination of the vast, lush star field that filled the windows. Mark Logan couldn't help but scoff internally at the cliché that he was acting out at the moment as he sat down on the couch just opposite his desk. From all he had heard and seen, a Starfleet officer's first instinct was to gaze out at the stars when they were in a contemplative or conflicted mood, but try as he might, Mark couldn't wrap his head around the attraction.

It never helped him relax, not at all.

Space was cold, vast and empty, and he had all the scientific data in the world to back up his beliefs. The stars were light years away, and even if they weren't, why should they give him any kind of epiphany or miraculous answer to his problems? They were just stars, endlessly converting hydrogen into helium as they would until the end of their lives, what did they care of human problems?

Yet, here he was, in command of a federation starship for over a year and a half, 'doing the job asked of him'.

His honor as a Starfleet officer demanded no less.

Yet, in all the time he had commanded the ship… no, ever since Captain Taggart had assigned him as first officer for their ill-fated final training cruise he had felt like an actor playing a part.

He was a scientist, and had never been driven by the allure of 'boldly going where no one had gone before' as many Starfleet recruiting vids had promised. He liked space just fine, but advancing the boundaries of understanding of what made the living body tick fascinated him more. He'd have been just as satisfied pursuing such things planet-side as up here.

He was a shy lab rat in command of a ship with many eager, ambitious hot-shots on the command track who would give their left arm for a shot at his job.

As a result, he had never been able to shake the occasional doubt that passed through his mind about the crew's respect for his authority, particularly his number one. Elisa Flores was his best friend at the academy, and was a fine second-in-command who was effective in carrying out his decisions. Yet, it was no secret that part of her felt that he was in her way. She had made that perfectly clear at their poker night, despite the fact that he had caught her in a moment of overconfidence and beaten her.

She was quick to voice her opinions on situations, provide him with alternatives, and occasionally give orders before Logan could even react. How much longer would it be before she started questioning his judgment, countermanding his orders perhaps? She had claimed she had faith in him, but what would she say if she knew what he was thinking about right now? There were technically no regulations against it, but could it be construed as conduct unbecoming an officer? Or, at least destructive to discipline? More importantly, what was she thinking right now?

Mark closed his eyes, letting out a sigh before he reached for the glass of synthoholic ale sitting on the table. Anything to take his mind off the miasma of emotional conflict that centered around the thought of the athletic, golden-furred Caitian, who happened to be his tactical officer, and his old flame from college.

Ever since M'Rerra had come aboard, his mind had been replaying everything he had ever heard about relationships between officers, relationships between co-workers, even Elisa's advice about everything that could potentially compromise his objectivity as a Captain.

Then there was the way her attitude had changed since she had come aboard. M'Rerra had been so cold and stoic towards him at first, they may as well have been total strangers. It had taken months of working alongside each other to develop a working relationship as Starfleet officers, a position neither of them had thought they would ever be in. Eventually, the ice had begun to melt, and Logan became more confident that they were just about back on friendly terms again.

But lately, something had changed. He could sense her heart lifting every time he entered the briefing room for a meeting, or when he met a group of officers in ten forward. She tried to hide it well, but it was there. At times, she would rib him or pass a friendly joke at his expense, just like back in their school days. But when others, like Commander Flores had ribbed him over something, the Caitian had been increasingly quick in coming to his defense.

Even the jokes themselves had begun to tread the line between friendly and, dare he think it…flirtatious at times? Yet, for some reason, she was still mostly keeping herself at arm's length from him.

As Captain, he wasn't allowed to let such things affect him, but how could they not?

He couldn't deny she was more beautiful to him now than she was back when they were kids.

However, his duty as a Starfleet officer had to prevail, and he had tried his damnedest to put her out of his mind for the past several weeks. That is, until Elisa had walked into his ready room earlier that afternoon and brought her to his attention. The auburn-haired commander had informed him that the Caitian's feelings were painfully obvious to virtually everyone but him, which she wasted little time in teasing him about.

He could make as many threats as he wanted about finding a new first officer, but nothing would change the way his XO kept him in check.

Unfortunately, she wasted little time in putting her 'Starfleet officer' persona back on and gave him her candid opinion of his situation. As his friend, she wanted him to be happy, but as his first officer, she warned him to think long and hard about exactly what M'Rerra meant to him, and whether he could be objective around her despite how he felt.

As if it weren't the one problem that haunted his every thought.

She reminded him about his duty to the safety of the 1,000 people under his command, and that he needed to remain objective in order to fulfill that duty. In response, he had tried to put on his own 'persona' and convince her that regardless of how either of them felt, he was still the Captain of the ship and would not let anything compromise the safety of the crew. For the most part, she seemed to buy it, even if there wasn't any true conviction behind his beliefs. The worst part was, in spite of all her lecturing, he needed her advice most of all, but she had declined to give it to him. She had him to sort it out for himself. She had only said that she supported his decision either way.

That was four hours ago, and he had been in his quarters driving himself crazy ever since.

Some first officer she was.

Then, there was the matter of the Caitian 'bond', the psionic link, formed by their closeness to each other all those years ago. It was a chain that bound he and M'Rerra emotionally to each other, no matter how far apart they were. It was the one thing that made it virtually impossible to forget about her.

He had tried over and over for the past eight years and had never succeeded. Why should tonight be any different?

Mark took a long draught of ale, furrowing his brow as the bitter smoothness of the drink refused to offer him a solution to his problem. He felt more like an imposter about being in the Captain's chair than ever.

What could he do?

Was happiness the price he had to pay for sitting in the chair?

---

The next day, 1600 Hours, end of alpha shift.

“I relieve you, sir," came the jovial order from the auburn-haired commander as she strolled lively out of the bridge's forward turbolift and up towards the Captain.

Almost simultaneously, the aft turbolift doors hissed open and the athletic, golden-furred Caitian lieutenant glanced at her superiors for a moment before striding purposefully towards her station at the arch behind the command chairs.

“I stand relieved," Mark replied with a quick smile.

“I don't think I'll ever get tired of saying that, even if it is only a duty shift change."

“One day, Elisa…one day," Logan said with a rueful grin.

“How are we doing?" asked Flores, putting her playful irreverence aside and returning to business.

“We're still three days out from the Dranuur colony, but running well so far. Commander Zarva informed me that the flutter we picked up in the warp plasma relays seems to have resolved itself, but I've had her run a level-2 diagnostic down in Engineering just to be safe. Oh, I'd like you and T'Vrell to coordinate with the Life Sciences, Exobiology and Geology department heads. According to Lt. K'Rana, they're all fighting over the transporter schedule about who gets to beam down on the first expedition to the planet. Apparently the situation between the Lukari and Kentari still fragile despite the fact that they're working together. Captains Kuumarke and La Forge both requested we limit the number of our personnel on the planet at one time. Since resource management is your duty-"

Suddenly, a sight at the aft stations caught Flores' attention for a moment, dragging Mark's with it.

M'Rerra was staring at Lieutenant-Commander Kolez, the well-built Saurian security chief she was supposed to relieve. Her ears were pulled back against her fur and her long, thick tail began to swish side to side at a rapid pace as her brow furrowed. She seemed thoroughly perplexed, while he was eyeing her as if she had just grown three heads.

“Oh, Lieutenant. I forgot to inform you, I approved your request for a transfer to another duty shift. You're on alpha shift now, which… doesn't start until 0800 tomorrow…I'm sorry, I should have informed you before you came all the way up here," Flores called across the bridge with an embarrassed smile.

Turning her head towards her superior, M'Rerra's ears flicked forward again and she gave a low growl of annoyance as the tip of her tail flicked upwards on one quick motion.

“Never mind, Commander. Thank you for your approval, rrgrh," she responded with a small smile and a roll of her eyes, her momentary annoyance gone.

The auburn-haired Commander returned her tactical officer's smile apologetically before returning her attention to the Captain.

“I'm planning on squeezing off a few rounds at the range once I'm off watch, Mark. Care to join?"

“Not tonight I'm afraid, number one. I'm a bit behind in my reading."

“Right, because the Journal of the Federation Medical Association is just soooo captivating. You're a piece of work-"

“Number One…" Mark warned in a low tone, casting his eyes between her and the other officers present on the bridge. Flores rolled her eyes in mock-annoyance before standing up straight and clasping her hands behind her back.

“I mean...very well, sir. Enjoy your evening," Flores responded, remembering her decorum but adding a hint of sarcasm as well.

With a roll of his eyes and a sigh of exasperation, Mark strode past his first officer and up the ramp towards the number-one turbolift at the port-side aft section of the bridge. He felt a small twang of guilt flash through him as he reached the lift. His excuse hadn't been a lie, their recent escapades had prevented him from keeping up with the latest advances in his chosen field, but it was more an excuse to be alone for a time.

Part of him wanted to be on as friendly terms as possible with his crew, and his duties as a Starfleet Captain demanded a good rapport with his staff. Nevertheless, being around other people for too long exhausted him. It was nothing personal, it was simply who he was.

Right now, he simply wanted to be alone to stew over his personal problems, even though Counselor R'Mira would have told him that it was probably the wrong thing to do.

As he crossed the threshold of the turbolift, he took in a small gasp of surprise and alarm as M'Rerra quickly followed him into the lift, a hint of urgency on her face. Mark's heart began to race and he furtively glanced outside the lift doors towards his XO.

He wondered if he imagined it, but he thought he saw his first officer's knowing, shit-eating grin staring at him from the other side of the turbolift as the doors hissed shut.

The sound jolted him out of his anxiety for a moment and he announced his destination to the computer.

“Deck nine, Captain's quarters."

M'Rerra remained silent, hands behind her back, staring blankly at the bulkhead in front of her as the lift began to move.

“Lieutenant…are you going to deck nine too?"

M'Rerra's expression did not change, only an awkward silence hung in the air.

“M'Rerra?"

Still no response.

Mark's muscles began to tense and a blast of cold hit his throat as he gazed over his old friend's body language. Something was wrong. The fur on her neck and the back of her head was standing on end and her tail lashed about from side to side as she tried to maintain an even expression. She might have been trying to hide it behind her years of Starfleet tactical training, but Mark had grown up around Caitians on Ferasa, he knew those signs anywhere.

Something was deeply troubling her.

He had expected some small talk about their day-to-day duties, maybe a little of their friendly banter from the old days. This was exactly the scenario he had dreaded and had tried to avoid at all costs. She was going back into the cold, standoffish demeanor she had given him when she first came aboard.

Great.

Just when things were starting to go back to the way they were in college back on Ferasa.

Was it something he had done?

Mark felt paralyzed as he tried to think of something to say to her. He wanted nothing more than to reach out, touch her shoulder, and re-assure her that he would be there to help her through her problems, as her Captain and her friend. Yet, the words were caught in his throat.

This was not the energetic, fun-loving, driven woman he once knew.

This was a total stranger.

Someone who put him off-balance, someone who Mark had no idea how to react to.

Convinced that his questions about where she was going weren't going to be answered, Mark decided to try talking to her in the way she seemed to prefer at this moment, all business. In his desperation, it was all he could think of to get a reaction out of her.

“So, Lieutenant, may I ask why you decided to change duty shifts?" He said a little more coldly than he intended.

The tip of M'Rerra's tail suddenly flicked sharply downward as the fur on her neck stood completely at attention. Mark could tell was nearing her breaking point, and his brow furrowed in worry if he wondered if he had just provoked her to anger.

“Sir…rrrgh, may I have a word with you in your quarters?" M'Rerra asked, not breaking her focus on the bulkhead in front of her as the anxious purr escaped her lips.

“Of…of course, Lieutenant."

The anxiety that was snaking its way around Mark's muscles began to tighten its coils. For a million different reasons, he didn't like where this was going. His heart began to race as he his mind ran though all possible scenarios that awaited him when they arrived there. Despite all the signs her Caitian body language had told him just now, her tone was harsh and confrontational, and he began to dread their meeting as he wondered what she might say as she had it out with him.

Just at that moment, the Turbolift door hissed open and they strode down the corridor in silence, the atmosphere between them almost suffocating Mark with every stride. It didn't help that the deck was virtually empty at the moment, most personnel had already taken their stations for the Beta duty shift.

After what seemed like an eternity, they turned left and stepped through the door into the spacious Captain's quarters characteristic of a Galaxy-class starship. Mark unconsciously walked towards the coffee table and chairs that were arranged at the couch by the window, making to sit down, before he turned around and saw that M'Rerra was standing near to the door, almost at attention with her arms behind her back. Her fur was still on end and her tail twitched as if it were alive, but her expression remained rock-solid. Mark began to feel the embers of frustration festering in the pit of his stomach. Not only did he hate to see her this way, he hated being kept in suspense about what was bothering her.

“What's on your mind, Lieutenant?" Mark said evenly, forgetting about sitting down. He decided, if she preferred the conversation cold and business-like, then so be it.

A few beats and frustrated growls passed before M'Rerra finally found the words.

“I have a personal problem concerning the command structure of this ship, sir."

Her words were like a fan that stoked the embers of frustration into a flame within Mark's soul. It was all too obvious her problem was with him. Her Starfleet sense of decorum was forcing her to beat around the bush. She was doing all she could to respect the fact that he was her commanding officer, but it was wearing thin.

“Oh?" was all he could think to say between the pangs of anxiety and frustration.

A few more beats passed before her ears folded all the way back and her tail gave another whip-like flick. Her teeth clenched and a hiss escaped them as she spoke again. Mark knew that was her breaking point.

“Permission to speak candidly, sir?" she asked, the edge to her voice becoming sharper and sharper as she gave in to her frustration.

That was the breaking point for Mark as he gave a sigh and took a few steps towards her. Screw protocol, he didn't like seeing her this way, he wanted things back to the way they were, he was going to be a friend to her whether she liked it or not.

“Karalle, we've been through too much to dance around each other like this. We've been doing it for months, I won't do it anymore. I think we both know what the problem is. I'll drop ranks if you will."

Her pale blue slitted eyes flashed open and her expression softened for a moment as she sucked in a gasp. He hadn't used her first name in eight years and it touched her that he could say it again. He thought he heard a soft purr escape from her lips before her expression hardened again, and her shoulders heaved with a sigh.

“Mark, rrgh, do you have any idea how hard it was for me to leave Ferasa eight years ago?" M'Rerra said, her voice soft, but with an edge to it, as if she were baiting him.

Mark furrowed his brow as he realized what she was doing. How dare she say that to him? As if she could treat him like a mere distraction to her career aspirations and then make him feel guilty about it.

“Hard? It didn't seem very hard at the time. You were pretty clear on where things stood. You were the career girl, I was the lab rat. Nothing was going to stop you from going to San Francisco. Especially not some human 'novelty' who happened to-"

“You idiot! You think I didn't care about you? RRRGH! Is your opinion of me that low?" M'Rerra let out a feral snarl and bared her pearl-white fangs as her anger rose.

Mark felt a momentary pang of hesitation and guilt at how she had reacted to what he had said, but his own frustration pushed him on despite the danger to their relationship.

“Karalle, you didn't even let me discuss it with you, to tell you how I felt about it. It was as if one day you decided to just up-and-leave. It was like everything we went through…it was like none of it meant a damned thing! What the hell was I supposed to think?"

“I didn't want to leave, Mark! Not all of me, at least…" M'Rerra's voice broke as guilt pierced her resolve for a brief moment. Mark tried his damnedest to remain steadfast, not daring to show any hint of emotional weakness she could use against him.

“Rrrgh! Don't you understand, you were the only one who could have convinced me to stay. I wanted you to stop me from leaving, to tell me that you needed me there! Instead, that honor went to my parents, who practically disowned me after I left!" M'Rerra shouted, her voice beginning to break and her eyes beginning to glaze over with moisture.

“We bonded back then Mark. You of all people should know what that means. If you cared about me at all, why did you let me leave?"

“Because I respect you, dammit!" Mark fired back, his frustration turning into anger. He sucked in a deep breath before speaking again. His life experience had taught him too much emotion was a recipe for trouble, especially around her. But the flames of resentment within him were not so easily stifled, and the look in her eyes was becoming too much to bear.

“College wasn't for you Karalle, we both knew that. You were giving me lectures on Dominion War fleet tactics when you should have been studying for organic chemistry. Remember when I bailed you out of Dr. Rrrtak's abnormal psychology group final? You didn't finish your share because were up all night reading about Kathryn Janeway's tactics against the Borg in the Delta Quadrant. You couldn't wait to get to San Francisco. Starfleet was your dream! You'd have resented me if I'd kept you from that, and guess what, I wouldn't have been able to live with that knowledge either!"

M'Rerra put her fangs away as her face softened and she looked away from Mark, guilt all over her face. Mark's expression softened along with his tone as he went on.

“Of course I know what 'the bond' means, Karalle. I felt like I lost a part of myself the day you left, even though we were just starting out as…more than friends. I felt lost for a long time, and even though I moved on eventually, I felt like that part of me has still been missing this whole time."

M'Rerra's brow furrowed in thought. The mask of guilt still hung on her face and her eyes still glistened with moisture that was threatening to form into tears. Her golden fur seemed to glisten in the low light of the room as she returned her gaze to Mark, still searching for the right words. More than a few beats passed before the brown-mohawked Caitian spoke again.

“I'm…rggh…I'm sorry I put you through that, Mark. I was so frustrated that I…I never considered that was how you felt."

Mark simply gave a re-assuring nod. His emotions were running so high that he couldn't find the strength to forgive M'Rerra verbally just yet.

“I tried to forget about you, you know. I tried to bury myself in my 'dream' and accept the fact that I'd probably never see you again," M'Rerra said softly.

Without warning, her gaze sharpened again and her voice began to develop an edge again as she took a hard look at Mark.

“And, you're right, Starfleet was my dream, not yours. You'd be perfectly content spending the rest of your life in a lab looking at your physiology journals. I've worked my tail off to serve in Red Squad and on three starships. I've earned the rank of Starfleet Lieutenant. So, you tell me, rrghh, what am I supposed to think when I find out you're not only a Starfleet officer, but that the top brass gave you a command right out of the academy?" M'Rerra said, crossing her arms.

“Karalle, that wasn't my decision. I'm doing the job that was asked of me, you can understand that, right? Admiral Quinn-"

“Forget Admiral Quinn! It's not fair, Mark!" M'Rerra shouted, anger oozing like bile from her voice as her tail snapped straight behind her.

“Kara…"

“I've been trained to be the best at everything I do, no matter the cost, to forge my own path through the ranks and earn my own command one day. And yet, my old friend who never wanted anything to do with Starfleet gets a free ride to the one place I've spent the last eight years working for!?"

“I resented you for it. Part of me thought you had joined Starfleet out of some warped desire to measure up to me. I didn't think you had what it takes to command a starship, to put your life in other people's hands and ask them to put their lives in yours. I didn't want to be responsible for the crewmen whose lives you were putting in jeopardy…" M'Rerra's voice broke for a moment as her ears drooped down flat on her head. The tears began to well up in her eyes as her tail fell flat between her legs.

A black lump formed in Mark's throat as the weight of her revelation hit him. The way she had acted when she had first come aboard made total sense now.

“So that's why you requested a transfer to the Discovery, isn't it? To make sure…to make sure I didn't screw up?"

“Yes…"

Mark felt a twin-pronged pang of anger and hurt spike up through his chest as her admission hit him. Now who had the lower opinion of whom? How could she treat him like a child after all the years they'd known each other and how close they had become?

His brow furrowed and the lump in his chest grew bigger, forcing itself into his throat. But, one look at the anguish on her beautiful face banished any anger from him. All he could feel was disappointment, and it was sinking his confidence and self-belief like a lead weight. M'Rerra looked away from him, a small tear escaping her eyes' hold as she took a ragged breath in.

“You didn't have to accept my transfer request, you know. Rrrgh… why did you?"

Mark looked down at the floor, clenching his fist and looking for the courage to answer her.

“Because... because I knew you were the best officer for the job, even if you didn't respect me," Mark said softly, trying to fight back the tears that were beginning to form in his eyes.

After a few beats, M'Rerra's tone softened, her and her ears pulled back against her head as she looked him in the eye, a weak smile blossoming on her face.

“You're right, I didn't respect you. But…that was before I realized the kind of person you had become. Over these last few months I've seen how the crew reacts to you, the kind of respect they have for you, how they rally around you when they need support. You have a ship of over a thousand people from twenty-five different planets and yet they're confident that you'll keep them safe, that you'll get the job done."

“It's been tearing me apart, realizing how wrong I was about you. Maybe it wasn't your dream to be one, but you are a very…good…Captain, and…mmrrrrgh… I'm proud to serve under you..." she said softly, her voice breaking with the sheer effort of getting the words out.

The look that M'Rerra gave Mark pierced him to his very core. Tears were flowing freely from her slitted eyes, matting the black-stained fur around them and causing it to weep slightly into the golden fur of her cheeks. Her golden ears laid back on her head and her long, wispy whiskers drooped on either side between her thin lips which were now beginning to tremble. Her thick, golden tail laid down on the floor and she grabbed it in one hand and began to wring it out, almost as if it were an involuntary motion.

To say he was stunned was a masterpiece of understatement. Even in their college days, he had never seen her this vulnerable. She had been so guarded and obsessed with 'toughness' and 'strength' back then that part of him had been unsure she was even capable of this kind of emotion. His mouth hung open and a tear escaped his eye as his emotions forced him to take a tentative step towards her.

He knew what he needed to do right now, but would she take it as an insult?

Finally, he could take it no longer, and his compassion overwhelmed any resistance his rational mind could muster. His body seemed to move on its own and a few swift steps brought him the rest of the way over to where she stood. With a sigh, he wrapped his arms around her firm, athletic frame, burying his head into the crook of her neck. Much to his relief, she eagerly returned his embrace, wrapping her own arms around his shorter frame and pulling him close to her. She held him tightly, and he let out another long sigh as he felt the warm familiarity of her touch radiate through him, banishing the lump from his throat.

Not a word was spoken between them as they basked in the contentment of other's embrace, only a light purring sound escaped M'Rerra's lips as she let out a few ragged breaths between light sobs. All Mark could sense was the dampness of the fur on her cheeks and the light tickle of her whiskers as her muzzle rubbed across his cheek. Eight years of resentment seemed to ebb away the longer they held each other. After a long while that seemed far too short to Mark, M'Rerra finally broke the silence, almost at a whisper.

“That's why…I need to know how you feel about me now."

A pang of confusion caught hold of Mark's muscles and he let go of her, bringing her to arms-length so he could look her in the eye.

“What do you mean?"

“You know what I mean, Mark. Rrrgh…my sense duty is telling me to keep things the way they are, keep our professional distance from each other…but we're bonded. We will be a part of each other until the day we die. That's how it works for my people. Sometimes it happens intentionally, sometimes it doesn't."

“We may have only been bonded a short time before I left eight years ago, but Caitians are a social people, Mark, you know this. We need our ties to each other in order to survive. Now, everything that's happened these last few months has told me that we were meant to meet again, that we were meant to have a second chance. I want more, Mark. I want to be with you."

Mark's eyes went wide and his breath caught in his throat as M'Rerra grabbed hold of him again, bringing their faces inches apart. His heart began to pound in his chest as the longing in her pale blue slitted eyes began to entrance him. All of a the sudden his own longing, all his unresolved feelings from eight years ago began flooding back to him as if let loose from a river. The force of it all washed over him like a flood, washing away any lingering doubt, bitterness and resentment and making him realize that he felt the same as she did. He wanted more.

Then, without warning, just as M'Rerra placed a loving, soft furred hand on his cheek, his rational mind kicked in again.

This was happening way too fast.

In the midst of the miasma of emotion he found a millisecond to curse himself. Here he was, presented with a second chance with the only being he had ever truly allowed into his own 'world', and all he could think about was how it could affect his ability to command. Nine months ago, he wouldn't have thought twice. Was this the kind of person he had become?

“Karalle, I want this too… but I'm a Cap-"

Mark was silenced by the pull of M'Rerra's soft, yet firm hand on his cheek as she brought their foreheads together. Time seemed to hang in the air for a moment as all that registered in his mind was the hypnotic embrace of her blue and gold speckled eyes inches from his, the caress of her forehead fur, her warm, gentle breath. Then, her eyes slid closed and Mark gasped internally at the touch of her thin lips pressing against his.

His eyes shot up in surprise and alarm as a thousand questions shot through his mind in a millisecond: What was he doing? Was this right? What about the others under his command? What could happen next? Was this irresponsible?

However, the moment of hesitation was short-lived, and desire began to overtake him as he melted into the kiss, his eyes sliding closed as he returned her affections. Their first kiss in eight years, and damned if it wasn't better than their first. The kiss lingered for what seemed like an eternity before M'Rerra broke it, bringing their eyes to meet each other again. Mark gazed at her almost contritely, as if to apologize for hesitating. He tried to put together a sentence, but everything was happening so fast that the words failed him miserably.

“Kara…I…"

“Mark, don't…"

M'Rerra silenced him, placing a finger to his lips.

“Please…before we talk ourselves out of this…"

M'Rerra leaned in and kissed him again, and this time, he returned it without hesitation. His arms wrapped around her tall form again, gripping the fabric of her uniform as he melted into her touch. He could feel her tongue probing his lips and he easily allowed it to slip between them. Mark shivered for a moment, the familiarity of her rough feline tongue coming back to him as it fought for dominance with his. The low purr that reverberated from her chest into his sent shivers down his spine as he became overcome with bliss.

For eight years, he had wondered whether he would ever see her again, much less feel as good with her as he was feeling now. Now, he was certain he didn't want this moment to end. The psionic bond they shared was strongest when they were close together like this, and it was intoxicating, driving him to do more. He wanted to forget about being a Captain and let it just be the two of them. As the bond took further hold of him, he wondered how he had managed to go as long as he had without her, and something he'd wanted to tell her all along shot to the surface and escaped his lips.

“I missed you, Kara," He managed to whisper in between kisses.

“Mmmrrrrrmghh…I missed you too, Mark," she replied with a sound that was half-way between a purr and a growl as he left her lips and began trailing light kisses down the soft fur of her neck and down to the collar of her uniform.

Mark remembered fondly how the soft blanket of fur caressed and tickled his lips at the same time as he stopped for a moment to suckle on her pulse point. A low growl of ectasy and arousal escaped her lips again as the wetness of his tongue matted her fur in the places he had kissed her.

Holding her close, Mark became aware of a new sensation as her long, thick, soft tail wrapped around his midsection, pulling him closer to her. He couldn't help but grin as the tip lightly tickled the side of his face. At the same time, he could feel her hips begin to sway from side to side and his heart began to pound again as he felt her soft, ample chest pushing into his.

Just as he was beginning to register how uncomfortably tight his uniform pants were becoming, M'Rerra broke the kiss and pushed him back slightly with one hand, while still holding on to the short brown hair on the back of his head with one hand, keeping him close. Time seemed to slow down again as she brought her free hand just under her neck to the zipper that lay in the middle of the grey outer jacket of her uniform, just to the left of her rank insignia. Holding it between two fingers, she lazily eased down to her stomach and wasted little time in doing the same to the zipper at the collar of the gold undershirt that lay underneath. Mark almost lost his breath when she pulled both layers of the of the uniform away from her chest, half-freeing her toned, yet still ample upper pair of breasts.

They were coated in a lighter, finer layer of beige fur, and the dark-brown nipples in the middle remained half-hidden by her uniform top. How soon Mark had forgotten that Caitians traditionally had little need for clothing on their home world, as Ferasa's relatively mild climate left them little need for protection against the elements. As a result, clothing served a more ornamental than practical purpose, and it was not uncommon for Caitians to forgo wearing undergarments.

Mark took in a shallow, ragged breath in awe and surprise at what she had just done. Even with how gregarious and touchy-feely he knew Caitians to be, he had not even considered she would take it this far. Although his gaze remained fixed on her chest, the thought divided his attention between the beauty of her body and excitement and alarm at what she might be planning.

His rational thoughts demanded to be let back into his mind, screaming at him that this had already gone too far and was on the verge of going way too far. Yet, he could not avert his gaze, nor did he want to now that the bond was so strong and he was finally realizing how he felt about her. Despite the bad feelings that had passed before them just moments ago, he could not escape the fact that she was beautiful to him in every way. Nothing could get in the way of that feeling, not even their Starfleet careers.

Mark was broken out of his revelry by the movement of her hand, as she grabbed his wrist and placed his hand firmly on one of her soft mounds. Her other hand moved from the back of his head to his cheek and she pulled his face close and began to nuzzle the side of his face with the soft, fine fur of her muzzle. A deep purr escaped her lips as Mark let out a long sigh at the secure, reassuring feeling of her fur rubbing slowly up and down across his face. All too soon, she ended her ministrations and brought her half lidded eyes to meet his. Her gaze was still piercing, yet she tried to make her blue, slitted eyes as soft as possible. She was trying to be earnest, yet Mark got the distinct impression that there was an equal amount of forcefulness and mischief on her face.

“Kara…" he breathed, unsure of what to say.

“I want to take this as far as you're willing, Mark, rrrmmghrrgh," she said after a few beats, whispering it into his ear with a hungry purr.

It was enough to send shivers down his spine, and he felt himself completely succumb to the entrancement that had been slowly taking hold of him. All rational thought was gone, shut out by the desire that was permeating from her to him. The cool embrace of her eyes, the feel of her muscular form against his, the reverberation of her purring in his ear, the soft roundness of her breast in his hands, she was all that mattered to him now. He wanted her. He hungered for her just as much as she hungered for him.

He decided to give her his answer.

Without a sound, he leaned in, claiming her lips again and slipping his hand into her undershirt, taking in every curve and slope of both of her firm breasts, lingering for just a moment to encircle his fingers around the peaks of the dark-brown nipples at that lay at the center of the fine fur of her mounds.

M'Rerra let out a low, rumbling moan of pleasure that reverberated through their kiss. Mark gladly reciprocated as he felt a strong hand grasp and squeeze the bulge that was struggling to escape the confines of his uniform bottom. Mark broke the kiss, gazing over to the couch by the windows, before slamming his eyes shut as her strong hands stroked him again.

“…not much room on the couch…" he managed to breathe between moans of pleasure as she massaged his erection. He gestured behind him with his head to the threshold that hid the bedding area of his quarters.

A confident grin slithered onto the female Caitian's face as Mark's acceptance began to embolden her. She unwrapped her tail from him and strode towards the dim light of the other room, making sure to glide the length of the thick appendage up from between his legs, up his stomach and chest and ending with a quick flick of the tip against his chin. Mark gasped in surprise and pleasure at the sensation, earning a mischievous chuckle from M'Rerra.

Mark could barely feel his feet in his anticipation and anxiety. Just as before, they were moving almost by themselves as they carried him behind M'Rerra towards his bed. She added a subtle sway in her hips as she walked and that only left him more intoxicated by the grace of her form and the heat she radiated.

As they passed through the threshold, M'Rerra caught Mark off-guard in his stupor and gave a playful shove that instantly put him on his back, landing with a dull 'oof' on the smooth, silk-like bed sheets. Mark couldn't help but give a weak smile at having the tables turned on him yet again. However, it did not last long, and felt his breath leave him again as M'Rerra's slit-pupils pierced his soul with their hungry grasp. With a grin, she unzipped her uniform top the rest of the way and crawled on all fours towards him with an almost cautious poise, like a predator stalking its prey through the tall grass of the Serengeti.

Her ears and whiskers quivered, piercing her bravado slightly and betraying her anticipation, as she straddled him, hugging his form tightly between her legs. She leaned over him, nuzzling his face as she unzipped both his outer and inner uniform top in one motion, pushing the garments aside to reveal his chest to her. Mark sucked in a breath as her claws lightly scythed through thin mat of hair on his chest as she gracefully rolled her torso back into an upright position, looking down on him from on high.

“Hmm, more fur there than I remember…" cooed M'Rerra, breaking Mark out of his stupor for a moment.

He couldn't help but scoff as the realization hit him that the last time she had seen him like this, he was barely out of his teens, and had been a bit slower to develop than his peers.

“Heh, I guess the English blood in me didn't kick in until about age twenty four…" Mark retorted with a nervous laugh.

His attempt to de-fuse his anticipation with humor was silenced again as he watched her slowly remove her uniform top and toss it aside, revealing her entire upper body as she began to work on her belt and pants.

Mark's breathing sped up as he looked her up and down, taking all of her her form in: her broad shoulders; her soft, round upper mounds; her much smaller lower pair of teats that were mostly obscured by the carpet of light beige-colored for that covered her chest and stomach; her toned abdomen; and finally, the tuft of fur that lay between her navel and her womanhood, which was visible now that her pants were undone.

M'Rerra bent down over Mark again, lowering her breasts over his head and dragging them lightly over his face. He reached up to grab one, massaging its soft circumference with one hand while taking her pert nipple into his mouth and flicking his tongue against it. He was rewarded with a low hum of contentment from his Caitian partner as M'Rerra closed her eyes and tilted her head back in delight. Mark shifted his attention from one breast to the other, taking tracing circles around the outside of her nipples before flicking the tip with his tongue.

Mark began to sense an intense heat building between M'Rerra's thighs as she straddled him, growing stronger with each moan of pleasure he drew from M'Rerra with his ministrations. All too suddenly, she pulled away from his touch, gliding the soft fur of her orbs and abdomen down over his torso, trailing kisses as she descended towards his nether regions. Mark felt electric pangs of ecstasy as her rough, feline tongue slid over his skin, pausing for a moment to tend to one of his nipples before sliding downward towards his navel.

As she continued to lap at his chest, M'Rerra deftly unbuckled his belt and zipper, freeing his member and allowing it to pitch a tent through the fabric of his underwear. M'Rerra gave a low growl, not bothering to stop there as she removed his shoes, socks and uniform bottom before Mark knew what had happened. Mark slipped his arms out of his uniform top, arching his back to pull it off of himself before letting it fall off the side of the bed.

M'Rerra's blue eyes became fixated on her human partner's member as her strong fingers massaged it through his underwear. With a curious mewl, she lazily pulled his underwear down lower on his hips and her eyes went wide for a moment as it popped free of its prison and stood erect before her eyes. Mark breathed heavily as, with a flash of hesitation, she paused to study it for a moment, taking it between her fingers and giving the tip an exploratory rub with her thumb, earning a gasp from the human.

M'Rerra continued to study his erect member, a pensive look replacing the hunger that had adorned her face before. A few beats passed before the hunger burning in Mark's chest drove him to question what was wrong.

“What?"

The smile returned to M'Rerra's face as she shook her head with a purr.

“Rrrh, nothing. I just forgot how…smooth it is."

Mark's brow furrowed in confusion before he remembered that he was the first Terran male she had ever seen naked. He had learned from his school days on Ferasa that the Caitian manhood was slightly pointier than a Terran's and was covered with rear-facing fleshy barbs that stimulated the female's ovulation. While her surprise and curiosity were understandable, a pang of anxiety stirred Mark's thoughts.

The fact that she had asked him seemed to imply that she hadn't been with another Terran since him. Perhaps she had been with one or a few members of her own kind since their first time? He had heard it whispered in his school days that intimacy with other species, particularly Terrans, was generally considered less pleasurable for female Caitans because of their anatomical differences.

How many men had she been with since him?

Would he be able to measure up to them?

Could he really hope to satisfy her?

A pang of guilt flashed back into his mind at how unsatisfying their first time had been all those years ago. All he could think to do was deflect his insecurity with humor, as he always did.

“Having second thoughts?" Mark teased.

“Not even close…rrrrmrggghhhh…" M'Rerra growled as she brought her eyes back to his for a moment, a confident grin adorning her face.

Mark felt her fingers encircle his length, the soft fur on her fingers lightly tickled his sensitive flesh as she grasped him gently, yet firmly and stroked up and down in slow, smooth strokes. Jolts of pleasure rocketed up from his loins and Mark let out a moan as closed his eyes for a moment, losing himself in the feeling of her hand on his member.

“Mark…" came her husky voice, laced with desire and arousal.

When he opened his eyes again, his breathing hitched at the sight of her half-lidded eyes. With a low, breathy growl, her tongue flicked out to lick her lips before she opened her mouth and lowered her head towards his groin. She inhaled deeply as she neared him, taking in all of his scent, and letting out a low cooing sound he had never heard her make before, as if she were intoxicated by him.

Mark barely noticed the strain of his teeth grinding together as her hot mouth enveloped the tip of his member, her abrasive tongue creating an alluring mix of pleasure tinged with pain as it rolled around against his sensitive head. Sharp stabs of electricity ran along the base of his shaft to his groin as she stopped at his entrance and flicked the smooth tip of her tongue all along it.

Mark's mind went blank.

This was incredible.

Granted, it was crazy.

But it felt right, of that he was sure.

His hesitation long gone, Mark silently marveled at his luck. No matter who she had been with since their time together, M'Rerra could have easily tried again during her time on the many ships she served on. There were more Caitians in Starfleet than ever before and she could have had her pick of any one of them, not even counting the eligible males of other species in Starfleet.

Yet, here she was.

She had decided that only he was worthy of her loyalty and her passion, and it touched him to the core.

More than that, she seemed to know exactly how to turn him on despite the fact that this was only their second time, and their first time in eight years. Part of him wasn't surprised as he suspected it was likely a result of the bond and he became more and more eager to return the favor.

The thought had little time to register as the teasing ended and he felt the slick tunnel of her muzzle engulf the rest of his head and the first third of his length, her furry hand maintaining its grip on the rest of him. A warm purring sound began to ebb from her throat as she slowly bobbed her head up and down while her and worked on his lower length.

“Kara…" he breathed, balling his hand up into a fist as she continued to work on him.

Mark hissed in ecstasy as he reveled in the feeling of her mouth all around him and the fact that her tongue, for all its roughness, seemed to caress and cradle his length as her hot, narrow muzzle glided in and out of him. Along with her tongue, the fact that her muzzle made her mouth narrower than a human's meant that her teeth occasionally brushed along his member with each thrust of her head. The result was a strange miasma of pleasure and pain that he couldn't compare to anything he had ever experienced. The urge to thrust up into her mouth was excruciating, but Mark somehow found the strength to fight it. Her eyes flicked up towards him again, radiating the depth of her passion, and he returned her look with an almost pained expression as he struggled against his rising arousal, for fear he might climax too soon.

Then, just as Mark thought he was about to lose control, M'Rerra stopped, releasing his length from her mouth and flashing her eyes at him again with a grin. She let out a chuckle mixed with a low purr at the sight of the almost disappointed look he gave her. As if to reassure him, she lowered both her hands to the top of his chest, lightly raking her claws all the way from his collarbones to his hips. Shocks of electricity rolled through Mark's spine as he understood all she was trying to tell him. Words just didn't seem necessary to either of them.

The female Caitian propped herself up on her hands and knees, slipping her tail out of her uniform bottom and pulling them off her hips before sliding them off her legs one at a time and throwing them aside. Mark let out another strained sight of amazement and comfort as she dragged her naked feline form back up along his chest, her soft, fine fur and breasts enveloping him like a blanket. Mark basked in how warm and soft she now felt, any vestiges of her cold, hard Starfleet security officer persona were long gone.

He could feel the pit of moist heat that was her womanhood brush past his member for a moment, before she rolled her hips up past his navel. When she reached his chest, Mark reached his hands up to caress her firm mounds again, but fell short, as her taller form only granted him reach of her washboard abdomen. Mark decided to play it cool, digging his fingers into her soft fur and bringing his lips to meet the firm body of muscle that lay beneath.

M'Rerra couldn't help but giggle at his attempt to please her, but after a few more kisses she rolled herself off of him and lay by his side, allowing his digits to find their intended target.

As he drew circles with his tongue around her breast with his tongue, Mark began to grow bolder and traced his other hand down along her abdomen again, his hand becoming warmer as his fingers scythed through the thick tuft of fur that lay at the top of her groin. After a few beats, his hand slipped between her legs, reaching her core, and her split his index and middle fingers to trace around the patch of fine fur that lined her lips. A low, feral growl from M'Rerra broke his concentration and his eyes met hers once again. Her eyes were almost closed and she bared her teeth again, as if frustrated.

“Don't tease me..." she ordered with as much force a she could muster through her pleasure.

He should have known. A little of the Starfleet officer in her was still there after all.

Taking the hint, he moved inwards into the soft, velvety flesh of her lips, and was astounded at how his fingers glided effortlessly along her moist walls towards her entrance. Wasting little time he plunged his two fingers into her depths, curving them upwards and pulling them out again in a 'come hither' gesture.

“Rrrrghh, Mark…right…rmmrmgmh…there…" M'Rerra purred as her hips bucked uncontrollably with his touch.

Mark felt his own heat building in time with her cries of pleasure as he probed around with his thumb for the fleshy nub that lay above her entrance. Finding it, he began to trace slow, irregular patterns, while still scraping his other two fingers fingers along her g-spot. Mark was astounded as M'Rerra let out a high-pitched mewling sound followed by a feral roar as her back arched, shoving her breasts and abdomen into his side.

Despite spending almost all of his formative years around Caitians, he had never heard any but her make these sounds before and couldn't help but felt privileged that he was able providing his 'bonded' with so much pleasure. M'Rerra brought her free hand across his body, and raked her claws along his back as she growled, nearly breaking his skin. The burning pain elicited a grunt from Mark, but did not deter him as he continued his ministrations.

The fervor of her growls and convulsions at his touch built almost to a fever pitch until, without warning, she grabbed his hand and pulled it away from her sex, pinning it at his side. With a sudden lurch, she shoved him onto his back and latched herself onto his chest, inning his whole body down.

For one ghastly second, Mark worried he had done something wrong and met M'Rerra's half-lidded eyes and hard gaze with confusion.

“Kara, wha-?"

But, his fears were suddenly allayed when she responded with a low, hungry growl and scooted her hindquarters up his chest towards his face, her feather-soft tail lashing against his chest as she moved.

“Don't worry Mark...you were wonderful. I want more…"

“Rrrmghhhh, taste me, now," she ordered huskily, before scooting all the way up and straddling his face.

Mark let out a grunt of surprise as he was caught off guard for a moment but quickly found himself again, bringing his tongue to greet her sex as her heat began to permeate into his face.

Looking up, his eyes caught a quick glimpse of hesitation on her face, as if she were momentarily worried she had hurt him in her eagerness to feel him lap at her. He quickly decided to allay her fears, curling his tongue around her entrance before penetrating her with a moan of pleasure.

The high-pitched whimpering sound escaped from M'Rerra's lips again as her tail glided from side to side across Mark's chest, matting the hair that adorned the center of it. As if on their own, he felt the soft fur of her hips and pelvic floor roll back and forth against his face as she ground against him and he opened his eyes long enough to see her grab one of her breasts and begin kneading it between her fingers before returning to his ministrations.

Mark had had very little experience with oral sex with any species, much less with Caitians, and had long heard not-so-flattering rumors about the taste of it all, but was amazed to feel that her flavor wasn't overpowering and not at all unpleasant. On the contrary, it was phenomenal. It was a smooth aroma laced with a hint of spiciness that stimulated his taste buds in a way that he had never thought possible.

M'Rerra's growls became interspersed with gasps of pleasure that were building to a fever pitch as she began to swivel her hips in a circular motion over his smooth face. Mark, not quite knowing what he was doing, decided to experiment alternating between thrusting his tongue in and out of her depths, and probing around her inner folds. The inconsistent contact caused M'Rerra to mewl in disappointment, slowing her hips down and looking meeting his eyes with a frown of disappointment.

It was just the break Mark needed.

His finger trailed up from her depths and roughly flicked the round nub at the top of her womanhood, before he brought his mouth around it with a slow suction before flicking it again. Mark couldn't help but chuckle in triumph as he watched his Caitian partner's blue eyes roll back in her head, sucking in a long gasp.

“Mmmrrmmghh! Ohhh yesssss…rrrmghghhh…Marrrk…" M'Rerra let out, renewing her assault on his mouth with even more vigor this time.

The human's lips melted into the pressure of her womanhood and the fur of her pelvic floor and buttocks. The pace of her grinding became more and more frenzied and gasps were becoming shrieks of pleaures with each flick of Mark's slick, flexible tongue around her button.

“Rrrmgh, Mark…don't you dare stop…"

He watched in awe as she kneaded her clawed fingers through her supple right breast, her eyes firmly closed in pleasure, her head high in the air.

She looked ethereal, powerful, wild.

Like a goddess.

It was enough to stoke the embers of lust simmering in his chest into a roaring fire.

Each feral cry of ecstasy was like a splash of gasoline on that fire, making him more aware of how uncomfortably hard he had become.

Suddenly, her wetness began to flow freely, coating his tongue and face in her essence.

He knew she was close.

He wrapped his hands around the fine fur of her buttocks, pulling her into his face as he pushed against her tongue with all the force he could muster.

“Mark…yesss Mark…I'm going to…rraaaraarrgghh!" M'Rerra roared as her heat finally peaked and she fell over her edge.

Her grinding slowed to a crawl as Mark frantically attacked her nub for all he was worth. He was soon greeted by a new sensation as splash after splash of her juices greeted his waiting tongue, coating his already-slick lips and mouth.

As M'Rerra's breathing began to return to normal, Mark's tongue made a few circles around her entrance, then her inner walls, then her outer lips as he took as much of her sweet cum as possible into his mouth. He had little time to relish the sensation however, as quickly she pulled her hips away from him and her toned, muscular form collapsed onto his chest.

Even though he was still painfully hard, Mark couldn't help but absorb in the warm wave of contentment he felt radiating off of the girl who had left him behind all those years ago. She brought her strong arms around to embrace him, her ample chest heaving against his form as she struggled to catch her breath.

The smooth rush of her warm inhales and exhales swept past his ear and she rested her soft muzzle against his cheek. A warm grin blossomed on his face as he felt the soft rumbling sensation of her purrs flowing freely against his chest.

All that mattered was her.

Any consequences that came after would be a problem for later.

This was the only place he wanted to be.

After a few minutes had passed, M'Rerra finally spoke up, her voice only a whisper.

“You don't know how long I've wanted you to do that…"

“Was it… as good as you hoped?" Mark breathed in response as she wrapped her arms tighter around him.

“No…it was better…"M'Rerra cooed huskily.

“I want you to feel as beautiful as I see you, Kara,"

Mark felt M'Rerra start for a moment, and she pushed herself up to meet his face, her eyes wide. His brow furrowed in confusion as he read her body language.

Her ears were folded back, and her mouth hung slightly agape, her tail brushing against his leg as she regarded him. She had clearly not been expecting to hear that from him and he was not quite sure what to make of it. His fears were quelled a moment later as a warm, lustful smile graced her face and she leaned in to kiss him, her rough tongue sliding into his mouth as their lips met.

“Rrrmmgh, that's sweet. Which of your exes did you learn that from?" she teased.

“Kara…" Mark groaned in mock-frustration. Of all times, she chose now to kill the mood?

“Heh, just kidding, I know it was from the heart." She apologized, her smile slowly leaving her face as she looked away from him for a moment.

“Just so you know, there haven't been any others since you, Mark. You're the only one to ever make me feel beautiful…"

Now it was Mark's turn to be surprised.

While he did not consider himself unattractive, he was introverted and had had difficulty being confident around the opposite sex. Yet, even he had had a few short-lived relationships at the academy, almost everyone did. He'd even had another before that when he had been stationed on the Science Vessel S.S. Setar as a civilian physiologist.

She was the most beautiful person he had ever known. He was certain she could have any man she wanted, Caitian or otherwise. Yet, in eight years, she had never let anyone in besides him? Never allowed anyone to make her feel like the goddess she was to him? Had she been waiting for him? Was this the power of the bond?

The lump from before returned to Mark's throat as the words failed him. It touched him to the core to know that all the time they had been apart, she had been thinking of him, wanting to be with only him. He wanted to pour out all that he felt about her, but was it too early?

“Kara…I don't know what to say…" he finally got out.

“You don't have to Mark, not now…I'm not done with you yet…rrrrrrmmmmnnn…"

M'Rerra pushed her lithe form up off of Mark's body onto all fours, and crawled down align her hips with his. Mark gasped as he felt her warm, slick lips align with his still fully-erect member. Smooth, hot purrs of pleasure escaped her lips as she glided her folds along his member in long, smooth strokes. Mark grunted deeply in response as he felt the warmth of her core envelop his most sensitive spot, arousal surging through his veins.

Mark grunted as if he should have known she would do this as she gave him a taste of his own medicine. It was her nature to take control of things and toy with him like this, but he couldn't stand it anymore. He needed to be one with her. He needed her now.

Just as he was preparing to say something, she subtly adjusted herself on his pelvis as she rocked forward, leaning in closer to him. Then, as she slid her womanhood back down his body again, he felt a hot slickness envelop him as he slipped through her inner folds, through her entrance, then became one with her completely.

He involuntarily sucked in all the air he could, electricity shooting from his shaft, through his pelvis and into his core at the contact. As he slid inside her, his entire length twitched under grip of the round, fleshy nubs that lined the inner walls of all Caitian females. However, the fact that these nubs were meant to stimulate ovulation was about the furthest thing from Mark's mind as he fought to catch his breath. Being one with her like this again was utterly amazing.

Their first time, back when he was twenty and she was nineteen had felt been rushed and awkward and partially brought about by the fact that she had reached her first 'season'. He himself had proven particularly susceptible to Caitian pheromones that came with being in heat. It had also been the time that Mark had gotten the first inkling that the lovely Caitian was going to leave. He had tried to make the moment more intimate, but she had seemed somehow distant and cold throughout, as if part of her regretted the act before it had even begun.

This time, there was no urgency, no primitive need to rut each other, except for the playful forcefulness that M'Rerra brought to the table through because of her personality. There was lust, yet all at once there was also warmth, security, closure, renewal.

This time, there was meaning in being together with her like this. The feelings were so real and tangible that Mark wanted to wrap himself up in her like a blanket. This was the only place in the universe he wanted to be, with her. As she moved to push herself off of him, no words needed to be said. She had never been as good with words as her fellow Caitians anyway. One look in her eyes told him all he needed to know. She felt the same way.

M'Rerra let out a velvety purr of pleasure as she buried him to the hilt within her, grinding her hips forward and back against his and making sure his cock filled every last space within her slick depths.

“Mmmmmrrgghrrrrhhh…" She let out with each roll of her hips, increasing her pace as she locked her gaze on Mark's brown eyes.

Her hands rested on his chest, bracing herself lightly but firmly as she switched to raising and lowering herself on his cock. Mark, in his ecstasy, was barely aware of the fact that she was pinning him down. It felt absolutely incredible inside her. She was growing tighter by the second, and every inch of his length was being stimulated by her internal nubs as his member slid in and out of her hot, slippery passage.

Then, without warning, a vague memory made its way back into the corner of his mind.

M'Rerra had always been known as a 'Type-A' personality, as it used to be called. She was driven, outgoing, occasionally boisterous and quick to assert control and impose her will on others. When M'Rerra wanted something done, everyone else's plans took a back seat.

However, there had been a few occasions back in the day where Mark had 'taken charge' and asserted himself in their love play or in everyday situations like defending his findings against a skeptical colleague, or correcting their order at a restaurant with a disgruntled waiter. It turned her on, and she was never shy telling him about it. He grinned internally as it finally occurred to him why it turned her on.

It was his way of proving that he was strong enough for her.

Even now, in the heat of the moment, he realized he been a little vague to her about how he felt about her. Taking charge would tell her definitively that he wanted more than just a romp, that he was serious about being with her for the long run.

Besides, why should she have all the fun?

As the slick nubs within her glided away from his cock one more time, he began to thrust upward into her, earning a surprised yelp as her eyes went wide for a moment. With a glint of realization, her gaze softened into a mischievous leer as she started to get an idea of what he was trying to do. She stopped her motions, propping herself on her knees as he thrust into her in long, powerful strokes. A grunt of effort escaped his lips as he thrust into her, hilting himself with each thrust and earning a lustful giggle from her.

After a few thrusts, he propped himself up on his arms, wrapping his arms around her torso and pulling himself up almost into a sitting position as he continued to thrust as deep into her as he could go. M'Rerra bared her claws and fangs with an almost feral laugh, raking them lightly down his back, but making no move to stop him.

Then, with a strength he didn't know he had, he grabbed her wrists, pulling out of her and propping himself up on his knees to meet her at face level. As he did, he let out a low growl that he instantly regretted for fear she might think he was mocking her. But, much to his relief, she returned it with a flash of excitement present in her eyes about what.

“Marrrrk…where did this come fro-OOF!"

The golden-furred Caitian let out whoop of surprise as Mark playfully twisted her arms to the side and pushed off with one leg, rolling her onto her back and landing on top of her. A burst of laughter escaped both their lips as the two of them bounced on mattress with the impact before coming to rest. Mark gave a triumphant grunt as he pinned her wrists to the bed with his hands, a shit-eating grin firmly plastered on his face.

“You never did that before…I like it…" M'Rerra cooed between giggles and purrs as she recovered from their short-lived play-fight.

“Even though you let me win?" Mark retorted sarcastically.

It was true, M'Rerra had him beat in physical strength. There was no way he could do anything she didn't want him to do. Yet, she had offered no resistance and let him overpower her. He almost didn't need to hear the reason why.

“It's more fun this way, you're so cute when you struggle," she laughed for a moment before she stared headlong into Mark's brown eyes.

Her expression became feather-soft as, for a fleeting moment, an unspoken flash of understanding and gratitude passed between them.

“Besides, I've been waiting for you to do something like that…thank you…for remembering."

“Now, take me…" She purred confidently, her fiery, lustful personality beginning to return.

Mark released one of her hands from his grip as he guided himself into her entrance again, grunting in pleasure as he felt how tight she had become despite the momentary loss of contact. He released her other hand and propped himself up on his hands, glancing down at the point where their bodies were connected. M'Rerra hissed in delight as he worked himself into a rhythm, gradually increasing his pace and power with every thrust of his member into her waiting pussy.

“Yes, Mark, yessss…you fill me up so good...rmmgmnghh…faster…please…!" M'Rerra cried out, reaching her arms around his back to envelop him and wrapping her long tail around their naked forms yet again.

He could feel hot pleasure building in his core as he increased his pace, electricity rocketing from his pelvis through to his lower back and legs with every pop of his hips against hers. He was getting dangerously close to his peak, and the noises M'Rerra was making told him unmistakably that she was close as well.

“Mark…yessmngh…harder…harderrrr…" M'Rerra let out again, her voice reduced to a series of gasps and snarls as her back began to arch and her hips bucked along with his thrusts.

Mark groaned with ecstasy as the sheer heat between them pushed his lust to the flash-point. She wanted it rough and frantic, and damned if he didn't want it too. He decided to go for broke.

He lowered himself down from his arms, draping his lanky form over her toned one, his forehead resting on hers. Then, he slammed his eyes shut and thrust for all he was worth, loud 'pops' resounding from their bodies as they connected again and again. Before long, Mark found he could thrust deeper into her than before. The walls that separated his cock from her womb were becoming pliable and loose, allowing him to push past and penetrate her as far as he could possibly go.

“Kara… I can't hold-I'm gonna…I mean-"

“Yesss…give it to me…do it inside me…!" she hissed, slamming her eyes shut as she fell over the edge with a feral roar.

“Maaaaaarrrrrk!"

The response from his feline partner broke his concentration for a brief moment and he opened his eyes to take in every detail of the beautiful Caitian he had been given a second chance with.

A moment later, his eyes screwed shut again and he cried out in agonized bliss. His member was being held in a vice-like grip, and he could no longer move. In her orgasm, he walls of her cervix had clamped down on him, holding him within her womb. It was more than enough to push him over the edge. With a long groan, he exploded inside her, blasting his human seed deep into her womb in thick spurts. Her body suddenly tensed and she wrapped her legs around his trunk, holding him within her as her depths greedily took all he could muster.

For what seemed like an eternity, they clung to each other, their breathing heavy and their bodies almost alight with heat until finally, her womb had its fill of his spunk and released him. His arms finally gave way, releasing her from his grasp, and he rolled off her chest onto his side. His arms did not get far however and remained draped around her, supporting her as they both began to slip into the warm embrace of the afterglow.

After a beat, he felt her roll over on her side towards him and ran her long clawed fingers lazily through his short brown hair. He responded by rubbing his own hand over breast and around her back as their chests heaved against each other. All Mark could hear for the longest time was the low, steady rumble of contented purring that accompanied her heated breath as they rode the wave of pleasure together, their bodies entwined under the countenance of the starlight that beamed in through the windows of the captain's quarters.

“Marrrk…" M'Rerra mumbled contentedly, her eyes barely open as she slipped deeper into the lethargic state her species experienced following sex. Peace reigned over her expression, and her fur almost seemed to glow under the low glow of light that radiated in from the lush starfield outside the windows of the captain's quarters. She felt like a warm blanket enveloping his form, holding him in an envelope of contentment.

“Mmmrrgghh…I've waited for this for so long…hrrrhgmmm, I should never have left you, please…forgive me," M'Rerra purred, regret beginning to overtake her as her tone began to harden.

“It's ok, Kara. We found our way back to each other. Right now, that's all that matters to me. It's like you said, we have a second chance…"

“I love you, Mark."

Mark's breath caught in his throat as her words hit him. M'Rerra was not one to wear her heart on her sleeve and despite all she had shared with him this night, it was the last thing he had expected her to say. For a moment, his rational mind tried to force its way back in as he struggled to come up with a response. He wanted to reciprocate, but was it too early to say that? Would he come to regret it later if he did? Could he honestly say that he felt the same way?

Fortunately, the warm bliss of the afterglow had long since wormed its way through his entire form, enough to stifle any hint of anxiety that tried to enter his psyche. In this moment, he was happy. Happier than he had been in a very long time. There was no one else in the galaxy he would rather be with than the golden-furred feline laying next to him, and try as he might, he couldn't see himself feeling this happy with anyone else. Though their personalities were different, they complemented each other, they supported each other. They were stronger together than apart. Despite his pang of hesitation, the three little words flowed effortlessly from his lips.

“I love you, Kara."

For a moment, he wasn't sure she was still awake enough to hear him until she gave a low hum of approval and brought her lips to meet his in a small kiss.

Mark felt the blanket of her fur become warmer and more secure as she pulled him in close, purring into his chest as he reached for her. The peace and security of her strong arms was like a warm cocoon that was making his eyelids heavy.

As his consciousness began to fade, Mark's memory flashed briefly to his moment of hesitation before M'Rerra had kissed him. He let out a long sigh, pushing those concerns off to the side. There were issues that still needed to be sorted out between them, but for now, they would wait. The bad memory fluttered away on the breeze of his subconscious as sleep finally claimed him.

---

Sometime later…

The first thing Mark felt as consciousness lazily returned was a warm, comfortable, envelope of sheets and blankets surrounding him. A heavy drowsiness weighed on his eyes, and a pall of unfamiliar fatigue clouded his mind, as if he had napped too long. For a moment, he questioned why he had been napping, when his consiciousness became aware of the long, soft figure pressed against him. Her firm breasts heaved gently against his side with each gentle breath that brushed lightly across his face. As his mind struggled its way back to reality, he groggily opened his eyes and beheld the face the golden Caitian curled up against his side. Her face, usually cloaked in the passion, aggression and toughness of a warrior was now the picture of peace and contentment. She groaned quietly, stirring for a moment to envelop him closer, still lost in her own dreams.

As the dull light of the star field outside radiated in through the window, Mark's thoughts drifted back to what had just taken place between them. The memory of the bad feelings they had buried and the closeness he had felt to her began to warm Mark's heart like a ray of sun on a summer's day. He let out a comfortable sigh, wrapping his arm around her nude form, tracing it along her side as he brought his other hand to meet hers. Just as a contented grin found its way to his face, Mark's pesky rational mind kicked in yet again. What time was it? How long was he out? Had he missed a shift? An important call from the bridge? A jolt of panic shocked him out of the warm envelope for a moment, and he threw his ragged voice into the air with enough volume for the computer to hear him.

“Computer, time?"

“The current shipboard time is 1827 hours on stardate 87632," came the feminine monotone reply from the computer.

“Mmmrghh, too loud…who cares about the time…" came the groggy feminine voice from beside him.

“Kara, I think a few people would take exception if we were both late for our duty shift," Mark retorted half-jokingly with a smile, losing his breath for a moment as her piercing pale-blue orbs dragged open to meet his.

“Which doesn't begin for another…fifteen hours…mmmrmmrghh…if we hurry, we'll make it…" M'Rerra said with a light giggle and a yawn, which Mark was all too eager to return.

Anything to stave off his rational mind and the conflict that was brewing in his soul.

For a long while, they lay side by side on the bed without a sound, regarding each other and basking in the warmth of each other's presence. It was a desperate attempt to stave off the reality of the situation that lay before them, and the consequences of their actions that Mark knew they would soon have to deal with.

“Hi…" Mark finally breathed behind a very weak smile, looking for any help from her.

“Hi…" responded his Caitian partner behind a contented smile, her tone light and re-assuring, as if she knew what was on his mind.

As good as it felt to hear her soft, lilting voice the burden of the task Mark knew he had to fulfill became too much and he sat up over the edge of the bed, facing away from his Caitian lover.

“Kara…we need to talk," he said with a sigh, his tone hardening despite his best efforts.

“Mmmrgh, what's wrong Mark, having second thoughts?" M'Rerra growled sarcastically.

“Not even close," Mark responded with a scoff and a weak smile.

“Kara, you know what I'm talking about. I…we need to figure out how to make this work…if that's what you still want?"

The rhetorical statement earned him a loud scoff and a growl from the golden-furred security officer who propped herself up on her knees and crawled across the bed towards him, her long tail swishing gracefully behind her. Her expression hardened slightly in annoyance as she addressed him.

“Mark, rrmgggh, how'd you get to be Captain being this dense? We're bonded. Now we're mated again. I want this. I want you. My loyalty is yours forever. Where you go, I follow. I meant it when I said that I think we're fated to have a second chance, and I don't even believe in fate. Now, tell me, how am I being subtle?"

The lithe Caitian slithered behind him on the bed, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her nude form against his. Mark sucked in a gasp as he felt the soft embrace of her mounds and the fine fur of her chest and stomach tickling his skin as she caressed him. Yet, for all the pleasure and reassurance it should have given him, it did nothing to take the weight of his conscience of his shoulders as he spoke again in the same low, hard tone as a moment ago.

“Kara, that doesn't change the fact that I'm a Captain, and you're my tactical officer."

“Come on, Mark, you and I both know there aren't any regs against-"

“I'm serious, Kara! What about the crew? You said it yourself that I have an obligation to all of them. To keep them safe. You, Elisa, T'Vrell, Michael, R'Mira, all of them. Over a thousand people. Imagine if I sent you on a mission that you might not come back from. What kind of Captain would I be if I just shut down worrying if you were alive or dead? How is that keeping them safe?"

M'Rerra looked away in thought for a moment, taken aback by his tone.

“…it wouldn't be any different from before. We've served together for five months. Look at what we've been through: the Klingons, the Romulans, the Dominion, the Borg, the damn Tholians! I could go on all day. You've sent me on dozens of missions that could have killed me in that time, and every time, you've never shirked duty to the crew on my account. You've done a damn fine job, Mark Logan."

Mark turned towards her on the bed, a pleading look in his eye as he desperately struggled to make her see sense.

“Kara, it's different now-"

“Is it? Admit it, Mark. You've felt this way about me since I came on board. That's what The Bond does to us. And yet, you've never put me before the crew."

“That's the burden of a Starfleet officer, I should know. But, that doesn't mean you can't be a little selfish, take time for your own happiness. I clung hard and fast to 'duty' for eight years, and look where it got me. I was getting everything I wanted from Starfleet, and yet I was still alone and without you. Face it Mark, you're stuck with me whether you like it or not."

The tall Caitian grabbed his shoulders hard, looking him straight in the eye before pulling herself into him and slamming her lips into his. After a moment of surprise he returned the kiss, opening his mouth to allow her rough tongue to do battle with his once again.

She was right.

He couldn't escape it.

He had longed for a second chance with her ever since she had been back.

Yet, somehow it had not diminished his ability to command the ship.

But, he couldn't escape the fact that their commitment to each other might still get in the way of his duty. The shred of doubt still ate away at him. He needed something to quell it, quickly.

“What do we do, then?"

“Well, if it'll help you sleep at night, let's make it easy, Mark. We'll lay down some ground rules, ok? When we're on duty, you're my Captain, I'm your subordinate. No exceptions. We're Starfleet officers first, and lovers second. But…the moment the uniform comes off, I am yours… and you are mine… rrrmmghhh…" she purred, nuzzling her face into the side of his.

“And, you must promise me that you'll treat me like any other officer as long as we serve together. If we come across a mission that might end in my death…if I'm the right officer for the job, promise me you won't hesitate to put me on it. No matter what happens. The penalty for non-compliance is ending our relationship. 'No ifs, ands, or buts', as you humans say."

“Kara…"

“Now, are these terms acceptable, Captain?"

Mark sucked in a gasp, trying desperately to put that nightmare scenario out of his mind. It was the very one he had never wanted to think about, but couldn't escape for as long as M'Rerra had been onboard, the very reason he had tried to talk himself out of revealing his feelings to her. She made it sound so easy and he couldn't deny she was right about all those past missions. But, the balancing act she was asking him to undertake still seemed huge. No, almost monumental.

Yet, he also knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he would never find another being as amazing as she, not if he scoured the entire galaxy. Being worthy of her love was better than anything that had come before, including becoming a starship Captain.

Who knew what the future held or where they would wind up if Starfleet?

All he knew was that the past few months serving with each other, and what had transpired that night had proven they were better together than apart.

Mark looked her straight in the eye as his answer came softly, but surprisingly easily.

“Yes…"

“Good…" M'Rerra breathed, leaning in and claiming his lips once again with a guttural purr.

They remained enveloped in the kiss for several minutes before the need for air caused them to break it. M'Rerra gave another contented purr as she shot up from the bed and walked over to retrieve her uniform, giving Mark another sly grin.

“Now, If I'm not mistaken, we're still off-duty, and you haven't taken me out to dinner in eight years…"

“Heh, this is true…" Mark said with a hint of nervous laughter as he felt his stomach rumble at the thought.

He was nowhere near ready to leave even a hint of their relationship to the crew yet, but M'Rerra's iron-clad will was winning out yet again, and Mark doubted he could change her mind once she had made it up. But, a guy could try.

“Ten-forward in twenty minutes, then? By the windows?" She asked, zipping up her outer uniform before reaching for her bottoms.

“Kara, I don't know about making a...public display this soon, not at least until we've-"

“Mark, I have no idea what you're talking about," the tall Caitian giggled in amusement.

“It's just dinner, not the Sadie Hawkins dance at the academy."

Mark cringed internally at that particular memory. He had been six years older than some of the other freshman in his class at the academy, and the age gap made for some particularly awkward moments. If only he and M'Rerra had been at the academy at the same time.

“Alright, twenty minutes…"

“Don't you dare be late…" She cooed huskily, her eyes becoming half lidded as she drew her tongue slowly across her thin lips.

Mark furrowed his brows as he thought he heard M'Rerra mumble something under her breath. He couldn't be sure but it sounded like, “Not like a third of the crew won't smell what just happened because they're Caitian or anything…"

“What?"

“Hrmmmghh, nothing…" Kara giggled coyly.

Just as she turned to leave, a fleeting thought from earlier crossed Mark's mind. One that was so obvious he silently cursed himself for not thinking of before.

“By the way Kara, you never answered my question from before. You requested shift change so we could be on the same schedule, didn't you? To make it easier for us to be together."

An amused grin slithered onto M'Rerra's face before she nodded in acknowledgement.

“Heh, mrrmghhh, took you long enough..."

“What about all that talk about being objective? What does Elisa think about this?" He asked, sarcasm oozing from his voice.

M'Rerra sniffled out a chuckle through her nose and mouth, as she lowered her head, shaking it in disbelief.

“Mark, don't you get it? It was her idea."

“Of course it was…"

Mark smiled and lowered his head, shaking it in disbelief as his Caitian lover blew him a kiss that blended into the hissing of the open door behind her. As she disappeared beyond the threshold of the door, the meaning of Elisa's talk from before finally dawned on him. She had been testing him to see if his resolve to maintain his command authority would waver under the knowledge of M'Rerra's feelings for him. Despite his doubt, he had passed her test, and apparently decided that their being together wouldn't affect the ship. By agreeing to the shift change, she had given the relationship her blessing.

But, there was more to it than that. Elisa was one of his best friends and had just as boisterous a personality as M'Rerra. Part of him wondered if her decision had been motivated by a desire to see him happy, or some childish desire to play matchmaker. He grimly remembered that, despite her devotion to duty, she wasn't above things like that.

Still, Mark hadn't felt this contented in ages, and he let out a sigh as he stood up to collect his clothes. He was in love again, with someone whom a few months ago he thought he would never see again, and at least one member of the senior staff gave the relationship her seal of approval. He had no idea what the future held for the two of them, but, despite his better judgment, he couldn't help but feel excited to see where they were going.