Ch. 57
Imported from SF2 with no description.
--Helena--
Trapped. Suffocating. The lights. The heat. The way everyone stared. That endless fucking chanting. It wasn't even words. It was just gibberish. A bunch of made up shit to sound impressive. I couldn't move. I wasn't chained. But I couldn't fucking move. I knew better. What would happen if I broke the script. I'd only ever made that mistake once. He showed me what would happen.
Panic. Fear. Darkness. Laughter.
Cruel, cold, a smooth calm voice telling me that I had already lost the fight.
"You had a good run."
Hands pinning me down, firm, rough. Blood dripping on my face as I gasped and thrashed in the darkness. The scent, like iron. His eyes. Master's eyes. Not anger, worry. His voice finally reaching me. My heart racing, as I awoke from the nightmare. As I gasped and trembled in the darkness, all I wanted to do was escape. To run.
But he held me there, kept me still until his words reached me. Until I heard something more than my own thundering heartbeat roaring in my ears.
Penance circled, a worried glance at his arm, dripping crimson staining my fur. But he made no notice of it. Didn't spare it a glance as he turned on the lantern, illuminating the confines of the tent.
He didn't ask, I didn't tell. When he let me go, I sat up, and tried to ignore the urge to run away. Tried to ignore the dizziness, the sick, sinking feeling in my stomach. The idea that we were being watched.
I tried to focus on what I felt in my horn. There was nothing there. Nothing fearful, nothing painful, nothing bad.
It was the first time since I was a little girl that was true.
How could he have understood why I just broke down sobbing?
--Trainer--
It had already been something of a rough night. Dinner hadn't agreed with me, and I spent much of the night trying not to toss and turn. Helena beat me to the punch. She thrashed hard sometime in the night, and in the middle of trying to keep her from tearing things up, she caught me across the arm with her claws. It looked worse than it was, but once she settled down and woke up, I bandaged it up. No sense bleeding all over the tent.
She didn't talk, and I didn't push. For a long time I sat next to her, a worried Penance behind us, her head resting next to my hip, looking up at me as I ran my hand over her head.
"Feeling better, fucker?" I asked, with a teasing grin as I reached out to give her shoulder a shove. She flinched, but I pretended to not notice, giving her a nudge and lingering until she looked back at me.
"Let's go for a walk." I said, as I grabbed my coat, the comforting weight of the pokeballs in my pocket. "Trust me. You'll feel better. So will I."
It was a dark night. Nothing to keep us company but the stars in the sky, and the warmth we had between us. Penance stayed close, but Helena damn near stood on my feet. After a bit, I settled on a spot in the grass, and sat down, laying back to look up at the stars.
"Hell of a nightmare." I paused, and reached up toward the sky, the bandage on my arm wet with the blood that had slowly seeped to the surface. "Nice shot, but I think I might get you some mittens or something.
Helena sighed at that, but didn't protest it, reaching up toward the sky with her own paw, a mimicry of my motion. Instead, to my surprise, she agreed. "Better that than a pokeball... if that's what I have to do, I understand."
"It's a hard thing." I said, as we let the world spin on beneath us. "All of it. It's just a hard thing to have to know. To be hunted the way you are, to have people obsessing over you for something you never had a say in. But you aren't alone now. If it comes down to a fight? I'll do what I have to. However far I have to take it."
"I kept the hatchet." I added, with a grin, and a tap at my hip. "And I keep it close. If you think I won't put it to work, you're crazier than he was. If he gives me another chance, I'm taking his head. That's all there is to it."
--Helena--
I didn't know what to say to it. To him. He said it so casually. Told me he'd murder someone with that weapon. As casually as he'd talk about what was for breakfast. No hesitation, no worry. Just the calm certainty of it. I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry, and for some reason it was a huge fucking turn on. Nobody ever had my back before. Not without a price, not without wanting something out of it, and flaking out as quickly as possible.
"Fucker. You always know just what to say." I teased him. I had to. I didn't know how else to handle it.
"But keep it close. Sooner or later, we're going to need it." I added, with a sigh, as I rolled to lean against him. He turned too, and suddenly we were face to face. His hand slid through my fur, tickled down my side, and held me there as he kissed me.
And I froze. In that moment, I froze. His eyes locked on mine, I couldn't move. I couldn't pretend. I couldn't lie to myself about what this was. About what I felt, what I really felt.
Safe.
I felt safe with him. I felt safe in his arms. By his side. In his embrace. An hour ago, I was ready to run, hide, cry until the sun came up, like so many nights before when I couldn't escape the feeling, the way I was trapped.
He hesitated, pulled away, I could feel it in my horn, his worry... but he didn't need to. Not this time.
"Fucker..." I whispered, faking a glare, before I leaned in, my cheek against his. "You win... okay?" I sighed, and kissed his neck. "You win. I won't run anymore. I won't hide. Not from you."
My next kiss met his lips, my tongue teasing his, slow and gentle and perfect. His hands began to wander again, caressed me all over. I'd never felt that before. Not like that. For all the times I'd traded my body for a favor, I'd never felt what he made me feel.
And he didn't rush, didn't push. Everything he did made me feel wonderful, made me want more... but he wasn't giving me more.
"Come on, don't tease me like this..." I whined, kissing his neck and chest. I could taste it, his skin, the subtle salt, the slightest hint of earth, and something like spice. I could feel his arousal, as I moved atop him. Straining to be free, hard and twitching beneath me. "I'll do whatever you want. Remember? I promised."
He shook his head, and smiled, hands slipping down my sides, one teasing my tail, the other slipping beneath it. I didn't understand why I felt embarrassed, why I felt shy. I was dripping wet when he slipped a finger into me. I couldn't stifle the moan, or the way I clutched at him. I was afraid of hurting him and did my best to keep my claws off of him, but it was hard to do when he pushed himself into me... and I pushed back.
"Helena... no more lying to yourself. That's what I want. Whatever you're feeling, I just want you to trust me with it." Honestly, I wondered how he could say something like that with a straight face while he was playing with my pussy. But ... I also knew he was right. Even now, I wasn't really being honest.
I told him I'd do whatever he wanted, as if I didn't flat out want to put my ass up for him to pound into the dirt. Tried to pretend it was something he was owed, and not something I just wanted to give him. He was right. Was I really such a coward? Was I really so afraid?
Yes...
"I'm sorry." I whispered against his neck. "I'll try, just... give me the time, okay? But what you're doing to me right now? I want it. I want you to fuck me. I want you to fuck me, whenever you want, wherever you want. I don't want you to feel like you have to ask. I don't want you to feel like you have to wait for me."
I sighed, and pushed against his hand again, feeling him sink a little deeper inside me. "I need to know that you want it, too. I need to know that it's not just me. You have no idea how much I trust you... and how much it scares me to say that to you."
He smiled up at me, and then led me, onto my back in the grass, his arms on either side of me, holding himself above me. His lips teased feather light kisses against me. Penance stirred in the grass, and I could smell her scent, her own need on the breeze. But I didn't mind that. No... I ... I think I wanted them to know. To see. To watch, if they wanted. I didn't mind it. I belonged in his arms as much as they did. I wanted him to show them that.
"You're afraid of loving me... because what happens if I don't love you back?" He asked, one hand against my cheek, thumb caressing me so softly. "Silly girl..."
His kiss... this time there was nothing light or gentle about it. My breath hitched in my chest as his tongue slipped past my teeth, teased mine, and it was all I could think of, all I could feel until I felt his cock brushing against me.
I thought I was ready for it. My body was, at least. It wasn't the first time I'd been fucked, and I wanted that. I wanted to feel his cock in me. I wanted it as he parted me, pushed himself in. He let out a sound somewhere between a growl and a moan as my walls parted for him. That hot length pushing me open inside, the fire it sparked in my belly... My claws teased at his shoulders, gripped, and kept him close. I wanted him close. I loved it. His weight, his warmth, how much bigger than I he was. He made me feel safe.
And then he had to say it.
"Helena, I love you." He whispered, so gently. Everything he was doing was gentle. Every kiss, even the way he took me. It was gentle. It was for him... but it was also for me. "I love you. So no more being afraid of that, okay?"
There were plenty of times I cried after sex. When I felt used, thrown away, hurt, or just disgusted with myself. I'd never cried during it. And I'd never cried of joy for anything.
I'd been fucked before. Seemed my whole life was meant to fuck me over. But never like this. I gave myself to him with all my heart, and that was something I'd never done before. I rolled my hips, and he pushed in, as deep as he thought I could handle. I pushed, rolled again, to take more. I could feel every ridge, could feel his heat, the pressure pushing me open, deep inside. The way he twitched and pulsed inside me.
But as much as I felt all of that, it was nothing compared to how I felt it in my horn. Warmth, affection, tenderness, pride... He was proud of me, and he loved me. More than anyone had ever loved me. More than I had ever loved myself.
So I wept, as we made love, I looked into his eyes, and let him see me. See the truth of it. How my heart ached for the warmth he gave me. Maybe I couldn't say it so easily, but I would try. I promised him anything, after all.
"I love you, too."