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Present day

Ayame.

--

That same night, Ayame lay in bed under the covers while staring at a pitch-black ceiling, as her curtain was closed. Her palm rested on her cell phone's cover.

"Three days..." She turned onto her side, staring blankly at her wall. She’d been awake trapped in incessant thought cycles for hours.

Ayame hadn’t so much as interacted with her father in over a week, and she barely wanted to in the coming days.

She shot her eyes to her bedroom door upon hearing a few knocks. Ayame pushed off the covers and sat up, scooting to the edge of the bed and adjusting her pajamas.

She stood and approached the door, leaning to peek through its hole and forming a subtle grin.

Ayame opened the door halfway and eyed Kodi.

"Hi, Ayame. I, uh… I couldn't sleep,” he said.

“Ah, how come? Were you out bothering Katie again?”

“No?” he replied, slightly averting his eyes.

Ayame stepped aside and beckoned. “Do you want to talk?”

Kodi entered and slipped off his shoes; she shut the door behind him. “I can’t see.”

"I want to keep it dark." She was already halfway to the window and pushed her curtains aside, letting in the moon and looking out the window with her hands held behind her back, one gripping her wrist. “I was trying to sleep, but I also couldn’t.”

“Why not?” He took a few steps toward her.

“You came because you couldn’t sleep,” Ayame said while turning around and letting her hands rest at her sides. “What’s bothering you?”

“Yeah, but I wanna know what’s up with you first. You’ve been in your room a lot more this week.”

“Mh.” She stared, then went and got on her bed, scooting up by its center. “Come sit.”

He did, climbing on and sitting before her.

“I’m sorry for distancing myself. I’ve been depressed and uneasy.”

“Why?” He set and kept his eyes on her.

“My birthday is in three days.”

Kodi tilted his head. “You’re depressed because of your bir– oh, wait, is it Dad?”

She started nodding subtly, which became a couple of complete ones. “I’ll have to begin hunting pokémon.”

“Do you for real not wanna do it? We’re stopping bad pokémon from committing crimes, right? And we use humane methods.”

Ayame sighed. “Sure. We technically don’t harm them, and some do awful things, but we are targeting any and all pokémon and sending them away— far away; we both know how that feels.”

“…I know. Does Dad know how you feel?”

She shook her head. “I should have told him a long time ago. Now he will be more than disappointed.”

He slightly raised his brows. “Does that mean you won’t hunt?”

“I could never.”

“Not a single pokémon?”

“No. Everything is in your head. What makes you who you are is how your thoughts translate to your actions and reactions. If you don't realize it, your subconscious will… In short, it would ruin me,” she said.

“Then what’re you gonna do?”

“I don’t know.” Ayame took a breath. “Do you want to hunt?”

Kodi shrugged. “I don’t know. You’re his real daughter worried about disappointing him. I have to do more to keep up.”

Ayame squinted. “What do you mean?”

“We both know he’s never valued me the same. He doesn’t even wanna start training me until next year.”

“What makes you say this?”

He sighed. “You already know. You took me out way more than he ever did growing up, you mostly helped me with homework, hugs…”

Ayame eyed him, then reached to take his hands into hers.

He glanced down as she squeezed a little. “You don’t have to feel bad. I was just saying…”

“I don’t want you feeling like you ever have to compete with me. Don’t, okay? That isn’t true love.”

“What else do I have? I can’t even make friends here. It’s lonely.”

Ayame shut her eyes for a moment. “We shouldn’t be here, Kodi… but you can talk to people off the grounds, right?”

He shrugged. “Never any luck.” He nodded at her. “Aren’t you lonely? You’re even older than me.”

She grinned slightly. “Katie is good company, but sometimes.”

“I mean like… a relationship.”

“Ah?” She tapped his hands with two of her fingers. “Again, sometimes. My mind is sounder with less baggage plaguing it. I’m okay with being patient.”

“Really? That makes sense, but I’m no good alone.”

“So you don’t want to wait, hm?”

“Until I get out of here. Everyone is weird and way older. I don’t like being around them.”

Ayame slightly pushed her lips aside. “Unless it’s Katie?”

“Huh.” His fingers briefly tensed. “What do you mean?”

“You follow her like a lost growlithe.”

“I do not…”

A giggle stuttered in her throat, which she held back. “Kodi, you’ll be fine. We both will.” Ayame again squeezed his hands and moved up to his wrists, rubbing them with her thumbs. “Just hold on.”

His eyes slacked slightly. “Until what?”

She stared at him. “This won’t be forever. Maybe Dad will accept that I don’t want to do this. I would rather be in college.”

“After years of training you until now, you think he’s just gonna go along with that?”

Ayame frowned. “He will have to.” She shifted her eyes down while releasing Kodi's wrists, then reached her arms toward him. “Come here.”

He did, leaning in and letting her pull him into a hug, which she tightened after snaking her arms around him.

“You may be alone, but you still have your sister. It doesn’t matter if we’re unrelated.”

Kodi brought his arms and hugged her waist. “Thank you for talking to me.”

“Always.” She pulled back and pushed him away to look at him. “You can always come to me.”

He nodded. “I will… to check on you too. I just hope your birthday goes well.”

“I’ll try not to stress over it.” Ayame tapped his back before releasing him. “We should also try to get some sleep. It’s getting late.”

“I’m kind of sleepy now. I’ll go see what I can do.” Kodi slid off the bed and stood. “Thank you again.”

“Good night,” she said while watching him head to the door and put on his shoes.

“Night.”

He left and closed the door. Its affirming click thrust Ayame back into dark silence. She lay on her stomach and crossed her arms in front of her while using them as a pillow.

Lonely, apprehensive, drained.

They conjoined and roiled in her stomach, acting as a haunting ache that also swelled behind her eyes in the form of a soft headache.

The other was resentment— a tinge of it because she didn’t want to put such emotions toward her father, but Ayame would never understand why he’d torn and replaced her life indefinitely.

“He took everything I could have been…” Everything she had ever wanted, countless experiences, and imprisoned her alongside her brother and best friend.

Ayame inhaled until her tummy sucked in completely. She held it. “You should talk to him.”

It would be beyond difficult to approach at this point, but pretending to play along wouldn’t work anymore. Not anymore.