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A Fèidh's Folly

Chapter One

© Cederwyn Whitefurr

12th January, 2021

All Rights Reserved.

Fèidh © Possum, used with permission and thanks.

Authors Note: This is a -long- overdue, to my dear friend Possum, a dear friend from across the ditch, this one is for you my friend, thank you for many years of your valued friendship :)

With that, I hope you all enjoy -

A Fèidh's Folly

A young Fèidh stag, barely seventy winters, a young adult of their race, sat in meditative quiet in the center of the forest grove. His two-tined antlers glimmered with the faintest hint of emerald, as he sought the connection between himself and the natural world - from which all Fèidh had a spiritual link, and precious few drew power and strength.

He was young, impatient eager, and filled with everything that was atypical of their magicks. All of these emotions were an anathema to that which he struggled to connect with.

His nose twitched, his furred lips began to curl back and his peaceful, restful expression turned frustrated, eyebrows tightening then forming a deep furrowed frown on his brow - then with an explosive breath, he exhaled and slammed his paws down on the ground beside his crossed thighs in frustration.

"Urgh," He growled in agitation, his fingers curling and dragging through the soft loam beneath them.

With his outburst, the magicks that he courted fled from him like a startled flock of birds.

"Forgive me," Caerwyn murmured, closing his eyes and making a prayer to the Spirits of the Wood. "I let my anger overcome me - I am sorry."

Again, he closed his eyes and let his mind grow peaceful and restive, as he once more returned to a meditative state.

"Calm, be at peace..." Caerwyn breathed out, then in, slow and deep breaths each time. He felt his heart rate slowing, the surrounding wood spirits creeping closer, drawn to him and his links to them as well. "Approach from a place of..."

Without warning, they fled - a cervine shriek of mortal terror and unimagined agony slashed through his mind for the time between one heartbeat and another...

Caerwyn gasped, clutching his chest, feeling his heart racing, adrenaline surging throughout him and the fur on the back of his neck prickled. Tears streaked down his cheeks and dripped onto the soft loamy soil as he struggled to draw breath and calm himself. Never had the Fèidh magicks come to him like that- Something, elusive, trailed its fingers across his mind, before vanishing as suddenly as it had come - leaving him shaking and chilled.

Death was a part of the forest - Caerwyn acknowledged and accepted that - it was the circle of life, that had endured since time immemorial - even the eldest of the Fèidh's parchments and books, had spoken of it. Yet he could not shake this lingering dread - like a pall - that had settled over him. What had happened? What caused such a shift in the ebb and flow of nature? Caerwyn did not know - all he did know - was he prayed the poor Cervid had mercifully passed quickly...

A snap of a twig startled him, making his leaf-like ears swish backward before he awkwardly twisted himself around and stood. Grasping his staff in both paws, he held it close to his chest, every sense he had on high alert. He glanced left and right, his senses sharpening with each thud of his frightened heart. His watering eyes scanned the forest before he raised his right paw and concentrated - attuning himself to the sliver of Fèidh magicks he had learned. Prepared - he was ready to fight if he had to but would prefer to ensnare one who would wish him harm - or just talk if they were friendly.

Another twig snapped - this time to his left and he spun about - the young buck's fear rising with it - before from out of a dense thicket, a grown red deer doe stepped from the forest edge and into the clearing. She stopped, her own ears snapping forwards, one front leg raised as she froze, her wide, expressionate brown eyes locked on his own.

With a trembling breath, Caerwyn lowered his paw, the magicks fading away, as he crouched down and laid his staff on the ground beside him, then bowed on one knee, his head lowered.

"Hail, sister of the wood - " Caerwyn spoke, bowing his antlered head in greeting.

For several beats of both their hearts, the doe and stag remained still, before she nervously lowered her cloven hoof. Most animals tolerated - at best - the Fèidh, usually keeping a healthy distance. It wasn't like they were afraid, they were just naturally wary of these strange, human-like creatures that looked like humans crossed with deer.

She's so beautiful and majestic - Caerwyn thought to himself, cautiously keeping his head down and looking at her through his eyelashes.

Expecting her to turn and vanish as suddenly as she had come, the doe seemed more... inquisitive, curious even. Taking a shy step forward, her ears twitching to and fro, she approached him and to his surprise, this strange doe stretched her neck out and nuzzled against his shoulder.

"Uh - " Caerwyn gasped, then cautiously lifted his head, holding a paw out to her.

With only a slight hesitation, the doe blinked, then sniffed and even licked his fingers, tilting her head to the side and gazing at him, her curiosity even stronger, as her tail raised and she gave three quick flagging flicks.

Caerwyn smiled, kneeling down, before he carefully opened his belt pouch, reaching in and pulling some dried fruits out, before he held them flat on his fingers, extending them towards her.

"Here, please, share my lunch with me?"

With a blink of those beautiful brown eyes, the doe looked at him, then down at his offering, before her lips delicately plucked a piece of dried apple. Her tongue was slick and soft, tickling his fur and flesh as she quietly chewed the offering and swallowed, before taking another piece. Quietly, the two shared the repast, until Caerwyn reached into his pouch and found only crumbs.

"Sorry, my dear forest sister, I have nothing more to offer you, I am sorry."

With a quiet exhalation through her nostrils, the Doe nuzzled Caerwyn's shoulder, then playfully licked his neck and under his furred chin. Caerwyn giggled helplessly, her tongue ticklish and the slick swatch of her saliva sticking down the fur.

"Easy," Caerwyn laughed, carefully placing a paw on her shoulder. "That's really ticklish, you're _obviously_not a wild doe, are you? Are you someone's...companion?"

The doe, with a soft bleat, merely blinked before resuming the gentle act of licking Caerwyn's chin, then moving to his leathery nose, then upward to his forehead. In response, Caerwyn giggled, captivated by the wild spirit that seemed unafraid and willingly drawn to him. However, without warning, scent enveloped him, much like the doe's fore-hoof striking the ground. Caerwyn's nostrils flared, and a convulsive shudder surged through him, from the tips of his ears to his ankles.

Ancient instincts, primal and untamed, ignited within his body like a raging forest fire. Amidst this wildfire, his ancient ancestral memories flashed vividly, threatening to engulf his calmer, rational mind.

The heat - the unmistakable scent of a doe cycling in her estrous state, echoed in his consciousness - white hot, and uncontrollable. A cacophony of screams reverberated within his mind.

You know that scent - A voice, ancient and primordial, filled his mind. He was a moment, realizing it was the long-suppressed call of his ancient ancestors.You've only suppressed it...

Indeed, he had, a realization that emerged as the vestiges of his rationality and common sense succumbed beneath the overwhelming power of this ancient, primal instinct that drove him...

Sensing this shift in him, the Doe bleated and stepped back, giving the panting and quivering stag room.

Caerwyn hurriedly unbuckled his plaited leather belt, it and the pouch falling to the ground, before he awkwardly tugged off the rough-spun tunic and threw it aside. His leggings followed, leaving him naked as the day he'd fawned, his pale-furred sheath already starting to twitch and the barest glimpse of his penis poked like a shy vole from the sheath slit.

It wasn't courtship, it was pure, animalistic lust, that drove him. He moved forwards, before he moved around behind her - then crouched. That scent overwhelmed him and his nose brushed at the wedge-like tail, forcing it upwards. His slick tongue quickly sought out the velvety folds and with two or three quick licks - reinforced the urges to a white-hot intensity.

Her tail upright, the Doe merely looked back at this strange Buck - yet he had done everything right - despite having only two hooves - and her own bleats signified the urges that flooded her. Her ears flicked forwards again and she slightly crouched with her hind legs, gazing at him intently and awaiting the gift he would give her.

Caerwyn didn't hesitate - awkwardly at first, being inexperienced, his penile head probed and poked against her rump, and when he felt warmth - he tried to lunge forward...

A startled and pained squeal came from the Doe before she leaped forward away from him. He'd accidentally tried to mount her the wrong way - and from her experiences with a young bachelor stag, many years ago - it had caused pain that'd lasted for nearly a full moon cycle...

Unperturbed, his penis squirting pre-ejaculate, Caerwyn moved back behind her, then placed his paws on either side of her hips.

With a tremble, the doe squatted a little further down, gazing back at him again - before she suddenly felt the pressure against her labia and she tensed, her spine arching upwards in preparation for the lunge she knew would follow...yet it did not - to her surprise. Her ears partially slicking back, she gazed back at him with a mixture of surprise and confusion, her muzzle slightly open and eyes wide.

Caerwyn gurgled, his furred fingers splaying out as he took a firm hold in front of the Doe's hips, then began thrusting helplessly.

Each moment, brought him closer and closer to his orgasm, as instinctively, the Doe's muscular contractions squeezed down upon his length and then relaxed - her vaginal fluids combining with his pre-ejaculate to aid and assist in their mating. Before he realized it, he squealed and with a violent thrust, he slammed his hips against hers, and then his powerful spurts of hot semen squirted deeply into her body.

"Urgh - " Caerwyn gurgled, his body growing slick with sweat, as his orgasmic convulsions seized him in their merciless assault on nerves and sanity.

Feeling his seed within her, the doe danced away, before circling back around. For a few hesitant steps, she circled, before squatting and releasing a long, golden arc onto the loamy surface.

Caerwyn, overwhelmed, crumpled to his knees and then onto his paws, the strain evident in his heaving lungs and quivering, helpless form. The Doe, displaying an unexpected tenderness, nudged him with a gentle nuzzle. He reciprocated by placing a shaky paw on her shoulder, using her support to regain his footing. She bleated softly, whether in confusion or thanks for his gift to her, as she stood firm until he was once again upright.

"I've never," Caerwyn panted, struggling to catch his breath. "You're...a doe, and I'm... I'm a...a Fèidh. Why...why did you..."

Not understanding a world, the Doe blinked with her wide-spaced eyes, her response enigmatic. She proceeded to nuzzle his sweat-slicked belly, savoring the taste of delicious and craving for salt and his own natural, masculine scent and taste. Her enthusiastic licking continued, leaving Caerwyn confused and intrigued, his unanswerable question - unanswered.

Barely able to articulate his thoughts amidst the lingering sensations, scents, and confusion, Caerwyn found himself caught helplessly. Trapped between the instincts that had surged within him - and the inevitable guilt that built within him. Yet the actions of the Doe confused him the most. All around them, even the leaves on the trees seemed to hold their collective breath, as if anticipating a revelation - or answer to Caerwyn's question.

With a final, affectionate nuzzle and a gentle bleat, the Doe stepped back, leaving Caerwyn standing in the early evening twilight. As he came to his senses, she circled him thrice more, a dance of curiosity - or perhaps reassurance and thanks for what he had bestowed upon her. In the silence that followed, the air seemed to fill with an unspoken bond - between Fèidh and Doe - a primal understanding that somehow bound one to the other, and forged a link that transcended the boundaries between their two similar, but distinct species...

Caerwyn, still grappling with the unexpected depths of this inter-species interaction, felt a profound shift within himself. This enigmatic and strange Doe, through her actions, carried an almost mystical sense of significance to him that seemed to extend just beyond the physical.

Suddenly, the distant thudding echo of hooves reached their combined ears, the Doe flinching before she started to turn, then looked back at him.

"Go, be with your kind, go in peace and love, sister - " Caerwyn spoke, from his heart and with sincerity.

Her ears pricked forward and she took a hesitant step towards him - before her instincts seized her and with a glance back over her shoulder, she vanished back into the forest. Caerwyn shivered, glancing around, finally coming back to his senses. Hurriedly, he gathered up his fallen clothing and redressed himself, then affixed his belt and pouch and lastly - picked up his staff.

With a newfound spring in his step, his mind more on what had happened - than explaining his mysterious disappearance to his herd, who waited back at his home village, Caerwyn picked his way through the darkening forest, letting his natural instincts find his way back to his fellow Fèidh.

*

Caerwyn slept that night beneath the silvery moon, which shone heavy and pregnant, in the firmament above. He was exhausted, mentally, physically, and emotionally. His dreams were filled with the memories of that mysterious doe and the incredible encounter they had shared. As the first twitters and warbles of the dawn chorus roused him, Caerwyn rose, stretched, and dusted off his cloak. With deliberate care, he fastened it back around his throat, then picked up his staff and started back towards the Fèidh village.

He knew one thing - he wouldn't willingly speak of that which he had done...or so he thought...

*

In the Fèidh village, Caerwyn, blissfully unaware of the enigmatic forces that now bound him, navigated his way through the communal gatherings. All around him was the warmth, love, and life of his family and friends - his kin, his people. It was a joyous moment, filling his heart with light, love, and the voices of friends, family, and acquaintances. Politely, he side-stepped some awkward conversations about becoming so enraptured of the forest, that he'd lost track of time - and had slept rough the previous night.

This seemed to satisfy the sentry guards and others. Camaraderie abounded as Fèidh of all ages had broken their fast, now moved about in a myriad of errands or just gathered in small groups, exchanging gossip or generally talking amongst themselves. A small band of youngsters played some strange game, the rules of which they seemed to make up as they went along.

Taking an apple from a basket, his own fast not yet broken, Caerwyn bit into it, the sweet juices bringing a smile to his lips before he absently wiped the juice with the back of a paw - a simple pleasure like this apple momentarily diverted his thoughts away from what lingered just below the surface. His mind savored the delicious sweetness of the ripe fruit - and in a few bites - all too soon, it was but a fleeting distraction and a memory.

As he walked, seeming almost absentmindedly, his unusual movements and demeanor amongst his fellow Fèidh started to draw confused glances. Those who knew him well, especially, noticed - and began to murmur and mutter to themselves, or to each other, their concern and worry only a sliver - but a sliver nonetheless. Caerwyn fought to conceal the secret of that which had transpired in the forest. Whilst such unions were not explicitly forbidden by Fèidh custom and law, the unspoken law - was it was never meant to happen. Fèidh was to breed to Fèidh, not some wild beast - or worse - a punishment by torture until death - they were strictly forbidden to breed to humans.

They were, as a collective and individually, not strictly Xenophobic, they just viewed humanity as barbarians and savages, so sought to have as little, preferably _no _interaction with the various little enclaves or outright kingdoms, that dotted the lands.

What Caerwyn had done, walked a razor-like edge of acceptability in Fèidh culture as a whole.

*

Unbeknown to him, a young Fèidh doe named Fiachaire, observed his every move, from the moment he'd returned from the forest. Barely of age, Fiachaire observed Caerwyn's movements with longing and desire, from where she sat beneath the broad, shady expanse of an ancient oak, so old, it predated the oldest of the Elders by centuries. Fiachaire's heart swelled with a bittersweet mixture of emotions as her eyes drank in every inch of Caerwyn.

From her earliest memories, Fiachaire's heart had been set on Caerwyn. At night, she'd fantasize about him - first as a friend and mentor - later, when she began to mature into the young doe she was now - it became much more intense. Her finely furred ears, still barely the fawn-like fluff, not having fully shed, flattened against her head, a silent expression of her dismay and sadness, a soft sigh escaping her furred lips. Her eyes grew pensive and misty, an ache that'd only recently started to form in her loins as she yearned for a stag who seemed forever out of reach.

Summoning her courage, Fiachaire stood up, then brushed herself off, before she began subtly making her way towards Caerwyn, determined today would be the day that she introduced herself. Boldly, she walked over, then lightly touched the back of his wrist, startling him. He turned about, then looked down, his expression confused and a little unsettled.

"Hello, I'm Fiachaire, you might remember me, I was always in your class you taught on - "

With a distracted smile, Caerwyn smiled, then lightly kissed her on the forehead, in a platonic greeting. "Oh, hello - " He murmured, his attention obviously distracted by something.

Fiachaire blinked, her eyes wide as she looked up at him, her ears becoming crestfallen, as he turned away and strode purposefully off.

"What did I do?" Fiachaire asked herself, resting her small paws on her hips and looking worried.

*

As he crossed beneath the ancient oak, Caerwyn's path was suddenly blocked by a gnarled, warped staff that thumped down in front of him, kicking up a small cloud of dust. With a startled gasp, Caerwyn stumbled and nearly collided with the ancient form of Maester Ceannlaidir.

"Maester Ceannlaidir - " Caerwyn gasped in surprise. "Forgive me! I was not paying attention -"

With a barely heard snort, the venerable old stag thumped his staff base on the ground thrice, before he tried to lift his head to look up at Caerwyn. "Caerwyn - "

Caerwyn winced, sensing something through his meager magicks, the Maester hadn't singled him out for a casual chat...

Maester Ceannlaidir fur was the color of the ancient oak, his once magnificent fur, and thick mane, now interspersed with threads of white and silver, belying his age. His antlers, adorned with intricate and mystic carvings, were a sight to behold. They curled with the grace of a river that's carved its way through the woods. His eyes, deep and knowing, reflected the wisdom and knowledge centuries had bestowed upon him. A withered paw, more bones covered with greyish-white fur, clutched his gnarled staff, which the old Stag leaned heavily upon. He was their lore keeper, the highest and most honored of the Elders.

"Maester, how may I serve?" Caerwyn asked, inquisitive and respectful, before bowing deeply.

Maester Ceannlaidir, reached out and with a bony finger, poked Caerwyn in the chest. Fixating Caerwyn with his intense gaze, the Elder seemed capable of staring into Caerwyn's very soul.

After a few anxious moments, the Elder grunted and he leaned forwards, his whiskers, grey and wispy, tickling the younger Buck's cheek, before the faint voice of the Elder came - directly into Caerwyn's right ear, so only the two of them would hear.

"If you are to risk violating your standings in our community - bringing shame to yourself and us, young one - you might want to consider bathing...before returning to the village. I know _that_scent on you - you think you're the only Fèidh to find love in the woods? Take my words to heart young one - it will save you a great deal of dishonour and explanation..."

Caerwyn caught between his guilt and a profound appreciation of the Elder's guidance and warnings, nodded respectfully. The Elders's words, delivered with firmness and conviction, lingered within Caerwyn as a subtle reminder of the delicate nature of the predicament he found himself in.

"Thank you, Elder, for your wisdom," Caerwyn respectfully answered, bowing his head.

He kept it lowered, as the Elder hobbled away, shaking his head slowly. With a quiet exhalation, Caerwyn trembled, before he walked away. The ancient oak, witness to this, and an untold number of other conversations - rustled its leaves and then fell still, having borne witness to many - and far worse - encounters in its centuries of life. For such was the way of the young Fèidh, those who had not pledged their lives to another of their kind - for both buck and doe - many had found what they had sought in the woods...one way or another.

*

For two days, Caerwyn deliberately stayed out of the forest, attempting to distance himself from the conflicting - and shameful - emotions that seemed to cling to his every waking moment - and even during his slumber. Despite his best efforts, those ancient and primal memories resurfaced - along with the accompanying urges. It conflicted him, threatened to consume him in madness - the desires conflicting with the knowledge of what they had shared - was inherently wrong. However, embracing his Fèidh belief, and their teachings, Caerwyn whispered to himself, after glancing nervously around, his ears slightly angled backwards, betraying his guilty feelings.

If it harms none...

A sense of relief washed over him, as he mentally repeated the mantra that was taught to a fawn from the second they could stand. With a renewed determination, he vowed to return to the clearing again the next day. This time, he planned on using the pretext of studying the forest and its animals - a perfectly natural and expected adventure any youngster possessed of the Fèidh magicks would be expected to do. He resolved this time - to be more cautious and proactive, determined to conceal his shameful activities - not that he ever expected to meet that doe again...

To Be Continued...