Finding a New Self, Chapter 5: Experimentation
#5 of Finding A New Self
Renna, temporarily a man, gets to try out her new equipment.
It really wasn't a bother to have Aresh along, at least during the daytime. There was enough traffic that we hadn't been able to have real privacy before, and having Aresh along just cemented it. And with Renna being a man, we hadn't been all that excessively intimate - not more than a few hugs and kisses, anyway.
So the first real issues didn't arise until evening. In the mean time, though, we did have an awkward moment. Aresh was displaying some subtle signs of being interested in me. There were no good opportunities for tapping out the question of why Renna hadn't come out as a woman yet, so I decided to play dumb to buy time. I figured there was no reason not to tell her who she was, but Renna wasn't telling, for whatever reason. Perhaps a good one.
Whatever reasons those were, they gave way. Right in the middle of a conversation:
Aresh was describing the court at which she had worked, and what she had done there, sewing the emblem onto the uniforms and banners, and occasionally touch-ups to a tapestry.
When she paused, I said, "I find it odd to have so much concentrated in one place. In Getta, there simply aren't any courts, not like that."
"Well, right. But you do have an army, don't you? Someone has to make the uniforms."
"I guess so. When was the last time an army was raised? Hmm. Renna?"
Renna said, "I don't know, dear."
Aresh and I stopped in surprise. She asked, "Did he just call you 'dear'?"
I figured Renna could have no legitimate purpose in us posing as two men if we weren't also hiding that we were romantically connected. "Yes, she did."
"'She'... whoa. Umm. The refitter. And you..."
"We've been married for years. She's younger than she looks, too. I've never been refitted."
"Oh gods, I'm sorry."
"Eh, nothing to apologize for."
I just shrugged and resumed walking. She started up as well, but didn't say anything.
Renna rebroke the ice by getting up on her hind legs and waiting for Aresh to catch up to her. Aresh was looking down as Renna said, "Sorry for not saying. It just felt weird. Okay?"
She reached out with her hand and nudged Aresh's chin up. She had an abortive laugh, then a bit more serious one. "You", she said, "are apologizing to me."
"Yes. I didn't tell you something pretty important. Can't blame you for anything after that."
Aresh threw her arms around Renna's neck and kissed both of her cheeks again. "It's all right! And now I know why I couldn't get a nod out of Famir."
I amended, "You did get a nod out of me. Just a friendly one."
"Well, now that's okay, isn't it?"
Though she said it was okay, she still felt a bit self-conscious around us.
Renna's way of trying to make her more comfortable, if that was what she was doing that evening, was to flirt.
For instance, at one point, Aresh asked, "What's it like, being in your... situation as a couple?"
I said, "Well, we haven't been in this situation for long. And it's temporary. So basically she looks different for a while. Normally we talk, and hold hands a bit; and that's what we do now, too."
Renna said, "I'm not as good looking as I was, but fortunately we have someone on hand to pick up the slack, Mreh!"
Aresh chuckled somewhat nervously. "Thanks, I guess? So how long are you going to have to be... like this?"
I deadpanned, "Two years."
She blinked. "Oh my, that must be difficult. How are you going to deal with... I'm sorry. Too personal."
Renna waved her hands. "Not at all. We're working out the details, but we'll establish some sort of rotation."
I kept it up, "It's a great chance to try all sorts of new things."
Renna added, "Including a more literal version of 'cooperation',", referring to the euphemism for mutual masturbation, "aiming to a common goal...", and at this she nodded at Aresh, "...instead of reciprocal goals."
Aresh crossed her legs. "Aah, er."
I laughed. "Or she'll be a woman again in two days. Did I say 'years'?"
Renna pretended to clean her ears. "Did you? You always do mix those up."
Aresh relaxed just a little. "Yeah, you two don't seem to have anything too personal, it seems."
I countered, "Do you? The people you have only a fleeting connection to and no real need for -- are these not the people with whom we share the deepest parts?" If that seems to be phrased in a rather high style, it was intended that way, if only to be silly.
Aresh frowned. "Not me. I'm too shy. Don't open up to strangers."
Renna supplied, "Then as your..."
Aresh cut her off. "No. It seems like you're trying to pry something out of me and I don't like it."
Renna rolled over it. "I was just saying that if you think we're too familiar for us to be sharing these things with you, it's almost an honor."
"Er. Okay, I guess? But... Sorry. Again."
I said, "And again, no apology. While we weren't prying, I can see why it would sound like we were."
We were quiet for a few minutes. Then, out of the blue, Aresh said, "There was a soldier. We were lovers for a time. Then... he was stationed somewhere else. Within a week of his getting there, he had moved on to someone else. A friend of his let me know by letter. Now I wish I had had the sense to pick that guy instead."
Renna shrugged. "He'd have still been stationed in that faroff place, wherever it was, for however long. That's not very good."
"Better without the broken promises, either way." She sighed and added, "That's not the deepest, but I haven't told anyone else that who didn't know it already."
I said, "As I said, we weren't trying to pry anything out of you."
Suddenly, she said, "Have you made your wishes?"
I laughed. "Not I. Don't know what I'd wish for. You can't change human nature, or history, or the wishing process. And something aimed at just you... unlikely to be granted. And if your wish is picked, everyone knows. I can't think of anything that would be worth the trouble of being that famous, especially for wishing anything that I could come up with. How many one-wisher wishes have been any good?"
Aresh thought. "Well, I like what I am."
Renna said, "And the wisher who gave us all animal forms was miserable for the rest of his life. He survived only under the protection of the priests."
"The hospital."
I said, "Okay. Do any of us have relevant talents?"
"The park?"
"Been done. Plus, it was a fairly large group that pulled that one off."
"Seems futile not to even participate, though."
Renna asked, "Well, did you make your wish?"
"I'm wishing that we could have a guide to what is healthy or not. Like the guide to what was moral or not."
"Ah, wish 9."
"I guess that was the one, yes."
I said, "On the up side, it's voluntary, so if you're picked people aren't going to be mad at you. But the participation rate might be as low as it was for the other."
"Yeah, but at least people would know, from then on."
Renna added, "Plus, I'm sure a lot of things we do aren't healthy, just a little tiny bit. Including worrying too much. So someone's going to worry too much about all the little things, and go into a death spiral. A lot like for the other one."
I said, "But hey. I think it's worth a shot."
Renna joked, "And we'd get rid of the worrywarts."
I finished, "At least for a thousand years."
Aresh saw we were momentarily done being silly, and went on, "Well, my main concern is that it'd stray too far into 'secrets of the universe' territory. Well, anyway, we have ten days left to decide."
After that it was just good-nights. Until we heard her snoring. Then Renna pulled me, and I followed.
We went off past some bushes, to the side of a field of berries or beans or grapes or something - it was hard to tell, in the dark. She led me in between the rows a little ways. "Now. We only have two days, and before I settle in to a final body... I want to know what certain things feel like."
"You're still you, so I can adapt. What do you want me to do?"
"Well, let's see. There are four things, really. I'd like to feel what it's like to get head. And I'd like to feel what it's like to masturbate."
There was enough of a pause that I said, "That's two."
"Well. You have from time to time inquired about anal sex. To which I now say, you first. And, I don't see how we can arrange this, but I'd like to have vaginal sex."
"Well, I can handle the first. And for the second, just this once, I give you permission to go outside. We may need to... seek professional help to get it in before you are refit."
Renna nodded.
I went on, "Still. Four goals in two days. That's pretty intense. We should have gotten started earlier."
"Well, I was going to ask for the head this afternoon after the swim, but Aresh showed up. And if there's no call for the body we can just take a little bit longer."
"Oh, right. No reservations. So. Shall I get started?"
"Please."
"No warmup! I see you're a guy now.", I said as I unfastened her pants.
"Quiet. I've been bothered all afternoon."
I got her pants down. She was highly erect. "I can see. Hmm." I licked my lips and kissed its tip, with a little tongue. Now, her penis was partially goat in style, which meant it was damp and musky, and it hadn't been washed since the second half of the day's hike. The taste was seriously bad, but I figured I'd only have to do it once ever, so I didn't complain or back off.
I ran my left hand down the side to the balls and very gently stroked them for a moment before beginning to slowly jerk her off with my right, and with my mouth around the tip. Then I took more in my mouth, back and forth. One left finger pressed into the base of the shaft. My right hand fell away as I took it deeper; then returned as the penis grew even more. I held it in and licked around the bottom, still stroking with my right hand.
I let go for a moment. "You sure you want to stand through this? It's easier to focus sitting or lying."
She lay down and I moved around with my hip near her head. She said, "I'd like to focus on what you're doing, so no 69."
"Of course. I just want to be able to do this..."
I cocked my head up and took it all. My gag reflex was no problem - a popular game among naga children was to see how much of your tail you could swallow, and I had been good at it. Renna had not, and had never done what I was doing either.
She writhed. "Wow. Wow."
I ran my tongue back and forth over her, then returned to normal depth to breathe and finish the job. I returned my right hand to stroking while pumping in the contrary motion with my mouth, and flicking my tongue back and forth.
She came. This was a new feeling for me, and it wasn't exactly pleasant, but it wasn't all bad either.
I swallowed it all, and knelt next to her head. She turned to me and sighed. "One down..."
"Want to go for another tonight?"
"I'll see. I feel finished for a bit, but like I could do more later, maybe."
We waited for a minute. I was about to say something when Renna put her hand on me suddenly, and I stopped and listened.
Movement, several rows over. I shifted snake and scanned with my heat pits, suspecting, for some reason, a wolf. But it was a person, standing still... lowering... I shifted to naga and tapped out on her thigh, "Aresh peeing."
Renna nodded, and we waited until she was back through the bushes.
Renna whispered, "Okay. New story. We were hanging out a bit closer to those bushes. Here in the dark, she can't see us, but with that sliver of moon in her face, we can see her a little. She squats down, lets loose, hits us."
I suggested, "We can't hold back our reaction totally."
"She realizes what she's done and rushes forward to apologize."
"I say she doesn't have anything to apologize for, so long as she does it again."
"Then of course she is oh so humble and modest..."
"But she is secretly getting very turned on."
"So after she's drained herself on us, she reaches forward and does this." And Renna leaned forward and stroked my belly. I shifted human so fast my penis bounced just from its rapid movement. She stroked it for a moment before beginning to suck on it.
"And you get behind her and get a good view, and begin rubbing her in turn. And grinding against her. And you're getting hard, and you probe lightly with your penis. And she pushes back, and you forward, and you find out what that's all about."
She paused sucking on me. "What is it all about?"
"What is cinnamon all about? It's... well, smoother than hands, thicker and firmer than lips, and more enveloping. You're actually inside."
"I'd like to get to do it to you some time."
"There's nothing I'd like more."
"How about now? I'm ready again." She had abandoned sucking me off, but the thought of taking something just at that moment de-excited me.
"I... I think you'd want me to be a bit cleaner back there. Less full of shit."
"Can you get rid of it?"
"I doubt it. Tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow we're going to be in Allegos."
"Right. I can actually take a bath tomorrow. And we'll have a room. Come on, there's still one new thing you can try tonight."
"All right, as long as you're okay with the risk that you'll lose your chance at my butt."
And so she tried masturbating. Vigorously. I took her hand and slowed her down. "You're going to rip something that way. Hold it nearer the base... press here. Pull back and forth... If you're dry, bring the skin with you. Don't drag across it unless you're lubed." I demonstrated.
"Okay, then I'm going to want to do this twice."
"You know, this reminds me of when I was a kid, twelve or so. One summer day, we gathered together in our little secret fort/shack. Our leader, very serious, said we all had to do what he did. And he changed human and took off his kilt. And we undressed. And he started stroking himself. And we did. And we all soon got hard, and we all came."
"And that was that?" She panted out as she leaned forward on one arm.
"Yup. Only happened once. We had a lot of talk of getting a girl in there, but..."
"This time you did. She was a fox, and she took charge. She said, 'All of you need to earn this. Take off your clothes. All of them.' And she stood there playing with the tip of her tail while you did. 'All right, you have earned seeing my breasts.' And she took off her blouse."
"Not so very extraordinary in Getta, though mainly for nagas, not so much the foxes."
"Right. But before you could be disappointed, she said, 'Rub yourselves.' And she turned around and slowly slid down her skirt, showing her butt. As you all got more intense, with her legs together tightly, she turned. 'Now. Reach out to your right and help whoever's there.', she said. And, once you all were, she slowly danced and writhed on the floor, showing momentary bits and snatches of her pussy. Tantalizing, revealing."
I came, spurting into the furrowed earth, and Renna moments later.
"Hoo! That was something."
After recovering for a moment, I said, "And what I did wasn't?"
"Oh, well, this time I can still talk, so it's just something. That was beyond."
And then her hand on mine again, urgently.
Aresh whispered loudly, "Hello? Famir? Renna? Where are you?"
Renna stood up. "It's okay, it's okay. We're coming."
"I heard you call out."
"Sorry... I was startled, that's all."
"I'm sorry to have interrupted." There went the possibility that she didn't know what we were doing.
I slithered out and said, "Not as sorry as we are to have woken you."
"Well, I guess I should only expect it. You're married..."
"And you're a travelling companion. It's not right to bother you."
"Well, I'll be going back to bed."
Renna shook off. "So are we." And we did.