A Wolven Tail (Part 6)
#1 of A Wolven Tail
First things first, while this is labeled as part 6, its technically more a part 5.5, see part 6 was meant to be an all encompassing part to end the story, however if you look at the time stamp on part 5.... well it was uploaded over 3 years ago, in that 3 year period.... god how I wish I could have said I finished the story, sadly not and while I've managed to find occasions in which to write they have been oh so very few and far between. It wasn't untill tonight when I recieved a comment I thought I'd do something for the fans who have been waiting oh so patiently for so very, very long. Here we have the last that was written of A Wolven tail. Tonight I polished up the last few paragraphs and got it to a point where I felt comfortable posting it.
Now be warned, do not go in expecting an ending, in fact in my mind there are 2 more plot points to occur and an epillogue that need to be written, but will they ever be written? its hard to say, what I will say is getting that comment today gave me the encouragement to do this, and so I leave it up to you my readers. If you want to see it finished, I need your help, your encouragement, so please, comment, favorite... just let me know what you think and feel
and as always happy reading ?
Part 6: The Full Circle...
Cool air brushing gently past her nose stirred her from slumber. Larka winced a little as a pain ran through her head and felt around herself, the feel of a soft blanket covering her, the warm rug beneath her, a flash of memory crossed her mind and she knew where she was and how she had got here, a broad smile crossing her muzzle. The scent of brewing coffee, cooking oil, frying meat and eggs, early morning breeze all assaulted her senses. She sat up and eased her eyes open, looking about the room, taking in the now flameless fireplaces, the ashes of last night's kindling settled within it, the furniture, the early morning sun glinting through the window and the look of Fenra across the room standing by the stove in just his jeans, pans, mugs and cutlery clattering gently in front of him, bacon crackling in a shallow bath of oil. He turned to look at her with a smile, taking a sip of coffee from a mug.
"Good morning, I was wondering when you were going to wake up"
"And what is that supposed to mean?"Larka chuckled from where she sat seated
"Oh nothing, nothing at all"Fenra replied with a cheeky grin, turning his attention back to the stove, placing his mug on the worktop
"What smells so nice?"Larka asked as she stood up and walked over to him, hugging him gently from behind
"Oh, that would be this"Fenra said, motioning to the food cooking in front of him and passing her a mug of freshly brewed coffee "and of course no breakfast is complete without a cup of coffee"
"Oh why thank you"said Larka taking the mug and chuckling softly to herself "your certainly organized this morning, an organized Fenra...never thought I'd see the day!"
"Cheeky!"Fenra laughed, kissing her forehead "how are you feeling?"
"Oh I'm ok, a bit of a headache but nothing to bad"Larka replied, taking a sip of the coffee
"Aw, well that's what the coffee is for love"Fenra said with a smile "old Gray family recipe, perfect for clearing your head the morning after"
Larka laughed at this and kissed Fenra on the nose "Gray family recipe eh? What's in it?"
"Sorry, family secret, I couldn't't possibly tell you that"Fenra chuckled giving her a playful smile
"No fair"Larka replied in a mock hurt tone, pouting playfully
"Aw come here"Fenra said, taking her up in his arms and kissing her deeply for a moment
Larka returned this kiss with a gentle sigh as their lips parted, a small blush rising on her cheeks as she realized something "oh my, I'm suddenly very aware that I'm still naked"
"I would have said something earlier but that didn't't seem very gentlemanly of me"Fenra said with a grin "still I unpacked your clothes and laid them out in your bedroom, the door on the left up the stairs"
"You certainly are taking care of everything this morning, and what about..."Larka started
"I put an extra set of towels in the bathroom, the door on the right, along with your cosmetics and shower equipment"Fenra said, knowing what she was about to say "I figured you would want a shower"
"Very impressive"Larka laughed, heading off to the stairs on the far side of the room pausing for a moment at their base and turning to Fenra, speaking softly to him "Fenra?...thank you"
Fenra smiled back at her with a nod before turning back to the stove in front of him.
Hearing footsteps down the stairs Fenra caught a breath of that familiar scent of freshly washed fur, turned his head and saw Larka walking towards him and smiled
"Every time I see you you look all the more beautiful"Fenra said as she reached him
"Well that's very sweet but you're a biased judge as you're sleeping with me"Larka replied with a light hearted chuckle, kissing him on the nose
"Oh well if that's how you're going to be no breakfast for you"he said with a grin
"Again no fair!"she said with a playful pout
"Here"he said with a smile, passing her a plate and a mug of coffee "hope it's all alright"
"Smells delicious"she said, taking a seat and beginning to eat, Fenra sitting across from her, staring at his food absent minded "something wrong Fenra?"
"Oh...just things on the mind"he replied with a weak smile, eating half heartedly
"Well tell me what's on your mind, maybe I can help?"she asked after swallowing a bite of bacon
"Well I've...made a decision"he said "I gave my mother a call earlier and I'm going to see my father today"
"Oh, I see why your mind is preoccupied then"she said giving him a sweet and caring smile "just know I'll be there every step of the way"
"Thank you Larka...oh"he said with a smile back, reaching into his pocket and pulling out Larka's paw print necklace and handing it to her "I found that on the floor when I woke up and put it in my pocket for safe keeping, hope you don't mind"
"Not at all Fenra"she said, fastening it around her neck "I had been wondering where you put that since it wasn't't with my clothes"
"So am I ever going to find out just what that little piece of paper inside means?"he asked light-heartedly but with a tone of sincere curiosity
"Patience mister, you'll find out eventually I'm sure"she said with a cheeky smile
"Fine, guess you're entitled to your secrets"he said with a chuckle
"You're one to talk about secrets, I've had to drag everything I know about you out kicking and screaming!"she said laughing
"Oh just eat your breakfast"he said, sticking his tongue out playfully at her
Larka took a piece of bacon in her paw and threw it at him playfully, sticking her tongue out in kind. Fenra shook the bacon from his forehead as they both laughed and continued to eat their breakfast.
It was late morning by the time they were both ready to leave. Larka stood on the doorstep, listening to Fenra clattering around inside, making sure doors and windows were shut and locked properly before meeting Larka outside, closing and locking the front door.
"Ready to go at last?"Larka chuckled
"Well excuse me for wanting to have a shower before I meet my father again"Fenra laughed, kissing her cheek "besides I couldn't't leave the house without making sure it was fully locked up"
"Oh I know love, it's just so fun to tease"Larka replied, sticking her tongue out playfully at him
"Shall we?"Fenra asked, rolling his eyes and extending an arm to Larka, she took his paw in hers and the pair set off.
Walking back through the village in the morning sun gave a new perspective on it to the evenings rush Larka had seen the day before, where the busy street was replaced by a surreal calm. The only people out being the elderly and parents whose children were off at school for the day. Larka breathed in deep the crisp, clean morning air as intermittent streaks of sunlight shone on her face, soft clouds passing overhead and a steady breeze flowing past them. Warm greetings met the pair as they walked, heading past the church for a road leading westward from the village. An elderly wolven priest, garbed in simple robes, tending to the flowers outside the church smiled and waved at Fenra as they passed, to which he waved back politely.
"Off to see your father Fenra?" the old wolf asked politely
"Yes father, we are on our way there now" he replied, stopping for a moment before the church
"I always knew you would" the priest chuckled to himself " "there's good in that boy" I would tell your mother, even if your actions would sometimes stray"
"We all make mistakes father, none of us are perfect" said Fenra with a smile "I know I don't proclaim to be, the difference is being able to admit when..."
"...we've done wrong" the priest finished for him "you still remember so much from my sermons"
"Of course, they were a big part of my childhood" Fenra replied
The old priest spotted Larka by Fenra's side and smiled, extending a paw to her "oh forgive me my dear, I don't think we've been introduced"
"Oh right, father this is Larka" Fenra said
"A pleasure to meet you" Larka replied warmly, shaking the old wolf's paw
"Likewise my dear, likewise" the priest replied with a smile "I had heard from Fenra's mother that there was a special someone"
"Goodness me, did my mother tell everyone in the village?" Fenra chuckled
"Oh come now Fenra, it's not like that" laughed the old wolf "your mother and I are just close friends and you know how she gets around a coffee table"
"Oh yes I've seen that first hand" Larka smiled, holding back a laugh
"Perhaps, perhaps" Fenra smiled
The elderly wolf chuckled gently and glanced at the sky, seeing darker clouds linger on the horizon. Sighing to himself at the sight
"Looks like rain" he said a little forlorn "that's no good for my old bones"
"But good news for your flowers though" Larka said gently
"Very true my dear, very true" the priest replied warmly
"If you don't mind father, we really had better be on our way, my mother is waiting for us at the hospital" Fenra said
"Oh of course, of course" chuckled the old wolf, shaking Fenra's paw "I could talk your ears off, rambling like an old man, please don't let me keep you"
"It's not a problem father, I will see you again soon I hope" Fenra smiled as he and Larka set off again
"It was lovely meeting you" Larka said as she walked off
"Good day to the both of you" the priest called after them as he turned to tend to the flowers once more, pulling his clothes up a little tighter around him as a slightly chill wind blew past.
The pair had walked a little way when Larka ventured a light-hearted question
"So is there anyone in this village that doesn't know you?" she chuckled
"It's not like I'm a celebrity" Fenra laughed "it's just a small community and one I was a big part of growing up, you tend to get to know each other well enough in that situation"
"I see" Larka replied "still he seemed nice"
"Father Aniwaya?" Fenra said with a nod "oh yes he's a very nice wolf"
"Aniwaya?" Larka said with curiosity in her voice "that's not a name you hear often"
"Well its Aniwaya Junior technically" he chuckled "it's a long running tradition in his family that one male from each generation gets the name Aniwaya, dating back hundreds of years by current record"
"Oh I see, that explains such an unusual name by current standards" she said with an understanding nod
"Exactly, of course as he aged calling him Junior seemed a little silly so we dropped it and most just call him father these days" he said
"Ah, makes sense" she said as the pair continued walking
The hospital was a fair distance from the village and it had passed midday by the time they arrived. This sight a clear contrast to the simplicity of the village Fenra had called home. Concrete, mortar, flashing lights, electronic gates, vehicles, ambulances, all these filled their vision. Seemingly almost out of place nestled amongst the fields and open plains which surrounded it. A slice of urban life amongst the rural.
The pair approached the entrance to this seemingly vast structure, as they got closer the countryside seemed to vanish from view. Instead their field of vision was consumed entirely by the grey hospital walls. A chill wind whipped past as they ascended the small set of 3 steps to the automatic doors. There was a short buzzing sound as the motors kicked in, the doors opened and with a shiver from Larka as another cold wind blew past the pair stepped inside.
The first noticeable aspect in here was the scent. Whereas the countryside had been a cocktail of natural and pleasant aromas, the hospital was instead full of scents that made Larka's senses recoil. While used to the unnatural scents of the city, there was something yet more unnatural and unsettling about this place. A heady mix of sterilizing fluid, medicines and a never ending array of chemicals assaulted her senses from all angles, she audibly groaned and shook her head.
"Are you ok love?" enquired Fenra
"Y.. yes I think so" said Larka composing herself "it's just the smell, I've never experienced anything like it, not even in the hospital you were in!"
Fenra nodded softly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders "I understand, it's hard to take the first time here, I remember as a child when my father would come here for checkups I would have to wait outside because I would get so light headed"
Larka merely nodded in kind, leaning into Fenra for support and the pair approached the reception desk. The elderly wolfess sitting behind the desk glanced up from her computer screen as she noticed Fenra standing before her and in a monotone voice asked
"Name?"
"Fenra Gray" he replied
"Ah, Fell's son is it?" the wolfess nodding, tapping away at a few keys "here to see your father?"
"Yes, please" nodding Fenra
"Very well, please have a seat" the wolfess said, motioning to the chairs laid out just inside the entrance "I will put a call through and a nurse should be with you soon to show you to his room"
"Thank you" Fenra said, turning and heading towards the seats, the wolfess merely grunted an acknowledgment and returned to looking at her computer screen.
Fenra took a seat on an old, worn looking seat with a simple cotton covering and wool cushion. There were a number of these chairs up against the walls just inside the entrance. The entrance itself was a small atrium with the reception desk right at its far side, opposite the automatic doors. To the left, right and behind the reception were 3 corridors that led off to the various parts of the hospital. Various colour coded signs and painted lines on the walls and floor led the way to the various units and wards. The walls themselves were painted a simple white but the paint was cracking and in places the plaster and dry wall was visible behind it. In addition to the scents, the constant, gentle electrical humming of ventilation fans and machinery rumbled around them. The occasional tannoy announcement summoning doctors to different parts of the hospital and toned beeping of pagers accompanied the sounds of footsteps and squeaking, rolling wheels as staff and patients went about their lives within this sprawling building.
"She wasn't very friendly" Larka commented as Fenra beckoned her to sit on his lap, sitting and wrapping an arm around his neck "not the best way to make a first impression on your patients and families"
"Don't be too hard on her" Fenra replied gently "It comes with working here, the environment, it has an effect on people"
"What sort of effect?" she inquired
"Well it varies from person to person, some it doesn't effect at all" he said, musing over the various members of staff he saw wandering past "others, they become depressed" he motioned to a cheetah who walked by with his head hung low and a hunched posture "and others like our receptionist friend merely develop a detached attitude"
"I can't imagine why" she replied shrugging "I've been to city hospitals before and they don't seem to be effected by it"
"Perhaps it's something to do with city life, it desensitizes people" Fenra said, scratching his head in thought "so they aren't as effected by the stark contrast of a place like this to the natural country around them"
"Maybe, maybe" Larka nodded "we all find our ways of coping with life I suppose"
The pair sat in silence for a good ten minutes, Fenra's mind fixated on the fact that soon he would see his father for the first time in so long. His thoughts were broken as they were approached by a German Shepherd in nurses clothes, a small name badge pinned to his front, extending a paw to Fenra.
"Fenra Gray, I barely recognized you"
"Shep? There's a face I didn't think I'd see anytime soon" Fenra replied after studying the Shepherds features for a while.
Shep merely smiled and shook Fenra's paw "I'm the nurse assigned to your father today, one of life's little coincidences I suppose, come on I'll show you to his room, your mother is waiting"
The pair stood up and followed Shep as he led them away from the reception and down a corridor, following the colour code for the "Intensive Care Ward". Around them they saw various rooms with all sorts of patients. Some standing, some in beds. Some alone, some with family and some attached to machinery that steadily beeped away as it monitored their condition.
"So... Shep is it?" Larka asked after a moment of silence
"That's my name, you'll need to thank my parents for that, quite the sense of humour they had" Shep replied chuckling to himself "what can I do for you miss?"
"Larka" she nodding as the trio turned a corner "I was wondering if I might ask you something?"
"By all means Miss Larka" Shep nodded, chuckling a little to himself as he continued "though I think it's the same question everyone asks me"
"Miss Larka?" Fenra smiled "such bedside manner"
"Be nice Fenra" Larka said batting him on the arm gently
"Oh don't mind him miss, he's teased me like that since school" Shep smiled
"Well if you will insist on being unbelievably proper all the time" Fenra chuckled "heck the children at school could have been throwing rocks at you and you would have simply smiled and thanked them"
"Well thank goodness there were no rocks in school" Shep chuckled, rolling his eyes "besides I was always raised to be the best I could be, "never forsake etiquette, manners and chivalry" my father would say"
"Wise words" Larka nodded
"True and it did mean you were one of the nicest people in school and perfectly suited for the medical profession" Fenra added
"Which actually brings me to my question" Larka said "a male nurse? that's an interesting career choice"
"I thought that's what you were going to ask" Shep smiled "everyone does"
"Oh I'm sorry if I shouldn't have I..." Larka began
"Don't worry miss, I'm not offended" Shep added hastily "I have no problem answering your question"
"I must say I'm curious myself" said Fenra "last I knew you were studying to be a doctor"
"That was the idea yes" nodded Shep "but during my second year studies I did a placement here as a male nurse for the summer. It was then I had a change of heart"
"What do you mean?" asked Larka
"Well you see miss, doctors tend to stay a little distant from all their patients" continued Shep "they have so many to treat and a lot of tough decisions to make, it doesn't help to get to close"
"A personal attachment can cloud your judgment in tough situations" Fenra mused
"Exactly" nodded Shep "but during this placement I got to know some of the people I was working with, some of my patients. I got to know their lives, their families. All the wisdom they had to share and stories they had to tell, it was an amazing time and I didn't want to lose that connection to the people I would be caring for"
"So that's why you became a nurse?" ventured Larka
"Exactly Miss Larka" smiled Shep "from that time on I knew my place wasn't as a doctor but more intimate with my patients, to truly know and care for them, I could never distance myself from them"
"That's a wonderful reason" Larka said with a broad smile on her face
"You softie" chuckled Fenra shoving Shep playfully "you haven't changed a bit"
"Maybe not" said Shep "but I never looked back, if it weren't for becoming a nurse I would have never met my wife"
"Wait, wife?" Fenra said with genuine surprise in his voice
"Thought that might get your attention" chuckled Shep "I met her when caring for her mother a few years back, myself and Sara have been happily married for two years now and counting"
"If it's not too strange coming from someone you just met, congratulations Shep" said Larka
"Not at all miss, thank you" smiled Shep
"Things certainly have changed" Fenra said, his mind wandering for a brief moment till he shook his head and brought himself back to reality "still congratulations Shep, that's wonderful to hear"
"Thank you my friend, now..." said Shep, stopping outside room number 21:6, knocking on the door gently and easing it open just enough to peer around it "...ah Braska, you are still here, Mister Gray there are two more visitors for you if you feel up to it"
There was a low voice from the other side of the door, one which was unintelligible to Fenra and Larka where they currently stood.
Shep nodded and said "Right away sir" before turning to Fenra and Larka "feel free to go on in, I'll be just two rooms down if you need me. Oh and Fenra we must catch up sometime"
"Of course and thank you" Fenra said as Shep walked past them with a smile and they heard him enter another patients room.
"Ready love?" Larka asked squeezing Fenra's paw as she noticed him shaking slightly
"As ready as I'll ever be" Fenra replied, squeezing her paw back in kind as the two opened the door and stepped into the room.
The first thing Fenra was reminded of was the hospital room he had spent time in all that time ago. It was roughly the same size, a large window set into the wall opposite the door. A small armchair next to the window and a vase of flowers resting on the windowsill. For a while Fenra stood in the doorway and the largest feature of the room remained an almost blur to him, as if his conscious was trying to block out what his heart knew lay on the large bed before him. It wasn't until Larka stepped forward with her arms outstretched to Braska and hugging her softly.
"Hello again Braska" Larka said warmly as the hug parted
"You too Larka" Braska replied "but where are my manners, this is Fell, Fenra's father"
Larka looked down at the wolf laid in the bed and the sight she saw was nothing like the proud, handsome and powerful looking man she saw in the photograph. Instead what had obviously once been a perfect coat of grey and silver was course and patchy in some places. An IV led into his arm at the underside of the elbow and heart monitoring pads were places over his chest, the attached monitor beeping in a steady metronome in the background. He had the unmistakable look of one worn down, where once proud muscles lay, they had faded, leaving behind a thin shell of their former self. The broad smiling face Larka had once seen was replaces with a tired looking one, eyes sunken and slightly dull, though still glittering a perfect yellow in the hospital lights.
Fell turned his head and in a slightly raspy voice as Larka touched his arm said "oh you must be Larka, my dear it's a pleasure to meet you at last"
"As it is you" Larka replied, trying to keep her voice from breaking at this sight
"You'll forgive an old man for not offering a hug wont you" Fell chuckled softly "but I don't think these old muscles could muster the strength"
"Of course Mister Gray" Larka said with a warm smile
"Please call me Fell" Fell smiled back "I'm not a wolf for formalities"
"Very well... Fell" Larka replied with slight embarrassment in her voice
As the two spoke Braska had walked over to greet Fenra with a hug and taken his paw in hers
"Thank you for coming Fenra" Braska whispered gently "you don't know what this means to me, to us"
"I couldn't stay away, I couldn't run any more mother" Fenra nodded gently
"Whose there Braska?" Fell called from his bed, looking over at the pair "bring them closer wont you"
Braska gave Fenra a look as if to make sure he were ready before the two stepped towards the hospital bed. As Fenra drew closer Fell seemed to blink in surprise, as if thinking his old eyes were playing tricks on him. As he watched the shape standing by this bed however it didn't change, it merely looked back at him. That unmistakable face of his son as he fumbled for the bed controls to raise the back and sit up before the gathering.
"Hello father" Fenra said, a lump in his throat as he looked upon his father for the first time in so long.
"Fenra... my god" Fell stuttered in astonishment "my son is that really you"
"Yes, it's me" Fenra said as he took a step closer.
"My boy, I never thought I'd lay eyes on that face again" Fell said as the back of his bed reached its upright position
"I'm sorry it's been so long father" Fenra said, looking down at his feet
"Your damn right it's been a long time, too long" Fell said with slight anger in his voice which made Fenra wince but with a deep breath Fell calmed himself and reached out, touching his sons arm "but it's good to see you again at last"
"I just wish it were under better circumstances" Fenra said a little forlorn, still struggling with the sight before him, seeing his father this way.
"Come now, we all knew this day would come" Fell replied calmly, coughing a little, motioning to Larka before he continued "present company excepted of course"
"Fell please don't talk like that" Braska said softly, squeezing the old wolves paw
"Oh my love, forever the optimist" smiled Fell "but why such negativity, let an old man live his days with a smile on his face"
Braska leaned in with a smile and kissed her husband's forehead as Fenra spoke once more "father I really need to talk to you about..."
"There will be time for that my son" Fell interrupted, a stern look in his eye that stopped Fenra mid sentence, then turning to Larka and his face softening "I've heard some of your life from Braska but there is so much I want to know"
"There's really not much to tell" Fenra started
"That's the understatement of the year" Larka said with a chuckle, looking down at Fell "may I ask something of you Fell?"
"Of course my dear, what is it" Fell replied curiously
"Well I have heard some of Fenra's life from Braska but, like you, there is so much I want to know" Larka said a little sheepishly
"Say no more" Fell nodding "I shall make you a deal, you tell me of my son and I will do the same in kind"
"That sounds wonderful" smiled Larka "shall I start?"
"Please" nodded Fell
"Well I met Fenra... your son, a while back now" Larka began "I heard a noise outside my apartment...."
Fell listened intently as Larka spoke, Braska too as she heard new information. Fenra joined in on occasion too when Larka struggled to recall things perfectly, though mostly staying quiet. He watched his father curiously and with a mild anger in his chest. After all that had happened, all he had gone through to come back here there they were talking as if nothing had ever transpired. Though he knew his father and he knew this wasn't just a pleasantry nor was his father so quick to forget what happened all that time ago. There was more to his longing to know of his life than just curiosity Fenra thought, he was assessing him, probably to know whether or not what they had fought about had been worth it all and Fenra knew when the truth came out his father would turn that against him. However there was something else he couldn't place, every time Fenra tried to steer the conversation his way or bring up what he was most burning to talk to his father about he was shot down by a stern glance. Something was in his father's eyes, he just knew it.
"And that pretty much brings us to now" Larka finished, looking over at Fenra "nothing I've forgotten right?"
"Hmm? No, at least I don't think so" Fenra said, shaking the thoughts from his head
"Sounds like quite the adventure son" Fell said with a gentle chuckle "but thank goodness for you my dear"
"Me?" Larka said curiously
"Yes, for taking care of my son" Fell said softly, squeezing Larka's paw "I can't thank you enough"
"Oh... well its easy when you love someone as much as I love Fenra" Larka smiled warmly at Fenra who blushed a little but smiled back
"She's a keeper" chuckled Braska warmly and Fenra couldn't help but chuckle a little softly as well.
"Well a deal is a deal" Fell said gently "what would you like to know?"
"Oh so many things" Larka said "but to start, I'd like to more of Fenra as a pup, I can imagine him an adorable child"
Fenra snorted a little and rolled his eyes "this is just going to be painful"
"Behave!" Larka said, slapping his arm playfully
Fenra shrugged with a look of mock confusion and Fell began to speak "hmm, so many stories, where to begin..."
Fell, with a little encouragement and friendly reminders from Braska, began to regale Larka with a few tales of Fenra's childhood. The first being the tale that revolved around the picture Larka had seen the previous day. The second being a tale of Fenra's first day of school. How he had been so excited to start he had run from the house in just his shorts and was halfway down the road before his mother could catch him. The third and final story was one Larka listened to with great intent. The story of the very first day Fenra helped his father on the estate. Though still young, barely of age to be of much help, as Fell spoke he made him sound so eager, so willing and so ecstatic to finally be helping his father. While Larka couldn't place exactly why this story captivated her so, she assumed it had something to do with a period of Fenra's life she never thought she'd hear. A time when he would look upon his household, his estate and his family business with pride, even if from the sounds of it he didn't truly understand what was going on at the time.
As his father recounted these memories, with his mother adding points that he Fell either forgot or let slip by that needed elaboration, Fenra felt himself relax some. As the tales went on he found himself speaking up more, chiming in with the occasional comment or correction, or defending himself on the humorous points his mother would raise often, in both an attempt to lighten the mood and soften the tension that lingered in the air. By the time his father was recounting the third story the group found themselves in open conversation for the first time, sharing insight, tales of their own, laughs and each had a smile on their face. Were it not for all this occurring in a hospital it would be an almost perfect scene, but as Fell glanced around as the laughter from a joke Larka had just told faded he sighed gently and turned to his wife and Larka.
"My love" he said squeezing Braska's paw gently, then motioning to Larka "my dear... might I ask for a moment alone with my son"
The group looked at each other for a moment, Fenra felt a tightness in his chest but with a deep breath he cleared his thoughts and nodded to the others.
"Of course, we will be just outside" Larka said, kissing Fenra's cheek and turning to leave
"I love you" Braska whispered softly to Fell and kissing his lips gently
"I love you too" Fell answered her in a tender whisper as she turned to follow Larka out, the door closing behind them.
Fenra walked over to the window and opened it slightly, resting his hands on the windowsill taking in a deep breath of the outside air as it flowed over his face.
"I assume you know why I came here today" Fenra said gently as he turned back to face his father
"I assume it's in no small part your mothers doing" Fell replied with a roll of his eyes
"So I can't visit my father of my own accord, it has to be someone else's doing?" Fenra snorted with an anger in his voice
"So after everything that happened I'm supposed to assume you just happened to turn up today for no reason other than to pay your father a visit" Fell answered gruffly "and watch your tone with me boy"
"And to think I thought I could have a civilized conversation with you" Fenra retorted, turning back to face the window
"So you won't even look at your own father during his last days?" Fell sighed, letting his voice soften a little "you'd let the bad blood follow me to the grave"
"Stop talking like that!" Fenra said, his voice raising "there's still... you could..."
"ENOUGH!" Fell yelled at his son, at which Fenra ears fell flat against his head, a fear he hadn't felt since he were a pup rippled through him at the sound of his father's voice "do you think me a fool? You want to feed me lies like everyone else go ahead but I know who the bell tolls for!"
"No I... I... I didn't mean..." Fenra stammered
Fell waved a paw at Fenra, cutting him off "My son, do you know what it's like to just sit here waiting for the end, wondering about your life, how people will look back on your memory, what awaits you beyond when you are judged on your actions"
"I'm sorry father, I didn't know" Fenra answered his head hanging as he approached the bed side
"You couldn't and for that you are forgiven, lord knows your mother would never tell you things that bluntly" Fell chuckled slightly "but bless that woman, if it weren't for her I wouldn't be half the man I am today"
Fenra nodded softly as Fell reached out and touched his arm "I know why you're here my son" he said softly "and I'm glad, I refuse to let what happened in the past stay unresolved"
"You could have said that to begin with" Fenra smiled weakly
Fell smiled back a little and adjusted in his bed "so tell me, the city, was it all worth it"
"You already know the answer to that" Fenra replied "you've heard the stories, I'm sure you've made your own opinion already"
"I know only what others have said, I'm asking you, just between us, what does your heart tell you" Fell answered softly
"I... I don't know" Fenra struggled as he stood up and started to pace the room "It's certainly not what I expected at all, the people for a start"
"The attitude toward wolves?" Fell enquired
"Exactly, I always thought I was just old stories, that nowhere in the world could be that intolerant but..." Fenra run a paw over his chest, remembering the beating he had received at the hands of Carl "... I was shown otherwise"
"I can imagine the beer was terrible too" Fell said in an attempt to lighten the mood
"and how!" Fenra replied rolling his eyes and chuckling a little as Fell laughed too
"So no good came of it?" Fell asked
"Well so many times I wished I'd never left, that I could just go home" Fenra sighed
"What stopped you?" said Fell
"Oh come now, you of all people should know that" Fenra replied sharply "we are so alike we can't even see it"
"What do you mean?" Fell said, with a knowing look on his face
"It was pride ok!" Fenra said, his voice just below a yell "stupid, arrogant... pride"
Fenra wandered over to a chair that was leant against the far wall and slumped down into it, tracing a paw over his cheek "that night.... So much changed"
Fell ran a finger over his knuckles as he too recalled striking his son on that night so long ago
"After all that happened, after that horrible accident" Fenra continued "I didn't think I could ever look you or this place in the eye again and my pride kept me from admitting the awful mistake I made. I lived worse than anyone should all because I was too stubborn to just say I was wrong"
Fenra covered his face in his hands, fighting to hold back a few tears, cutting his father off as he began to speak "I know what you're going to say and I'm sure I deserve it, call me what you will, claim you were right all along, it doesn't matter now"
"Don't presume to know what I'm about to say son" Fell said sternly, but then his voice softening continued "I was merely going to say that's not the end of the story, it can't be, for here you are before me"
Fenra looked up at his father and pondered this for a moment, when something clicked in his mind, something good had come from the city after all. A shining blue light amongst his darkness "Larka" he simple said softly.
"She must be something, to bring you here to me" his father nodded gently "to do something most thought impossible"
"What do you..." started Fenra
"I'm not that naïve son" smiled Fell "I was young and in love once and I know that look in your face when you look at her"
"Wait..." said Fenra slowly "all this asking how the city was, it was to get me to say that something good had come from the city... Larka had..."
"Oh I wouldn't say that" Fell replied with a smile "a lot I had to hear from your own lips, I wanted to, just as I had asked, to hear what your heart told you"
"And my heart tells me Larka makes it all worth it" Fenra said softly with a warm smile on his face
"Never let her go son" Fell said "a love like that you do not want to lose"
"I won't father" Fenra nodded "but if I may say something, not all of this is my fault"
"Of course not" Fell nodded somberly "I'm not perfect, nor do I make any claim to be"
"Could have fooled me with the way you went on when I was young" Fenra retorted "if only you'd shown an interest in my life outside of your "plans" for me to continue the family business"
"I know!" Fell replied his voice raising but taking a deep breath to steady himself and in a softer voice continued "... I know and hindsight has haunted me for so long, there's so many ways I could have been a better father for you and if it weren't for this cursed pride blinding me all of this could have been avoided"
The pair remained in silence for a while, Fenra arose and paced the room once more. The pair seemed to both know what came next, what was meant to follow from here but neither wanted to be the first to say it. Despite all their progress, pride still held them back.
It was Fenra in the end who made the first move, to the complete surprise of his father. Taking a knee at his father bedside and resting his paw over his fathers.
"Father.... can you ever forgive me, for all I've done to our family" he struggled out through a choked voice.
Fell stared at his son in shock, seconds seemed like hours as Fenra waited for a reply, jumping slightly as his father's paw resting on his head.
"I can my son" he began "if you can forgive an old fool, we have committed many wrongs upon each other, it is time they were put to rest, the past put behind us"
Fenra looked up at his father as he continued, getting to his feet as Fell opened his arms "I love you my son... I always have and I always will, you are my son and that transcends all else"
Fenra looked warily down at his father as his arms opened, he knew the gesture but something in his heart held him back. However as he heard his father's words his heart softened and as if watching his body move of its own will he leant down into the embrace, whispering softly with tears in his eyes
"I love you too father... I.... love you too...."
The pair held this embrace for a while. To an outside observer it would seem no more than minutes but to the two of them, it seemed an eternity, both wolves crying gently at the resolution. Years of suppressed emotions now at the surface. A heavy weight lifted from the both of them.
It wasn't until Fenra noticed his father's breathing a little labored that he pulled away slightly, looking down at Fell "Father are you alri...." he began before his face shifted into an expression of dread.
"NURSE! DOCTOR! ANYONE!" he yelled as he stood up. his father lay before him, eyes closed and barely breathing, a pained grimace on his lips.
Shep,two2 doctors and a handful of other nurses burst through the doors, calling to each other in what seemed an unintelligible to Fenra, medical terms flew past his ears as they surrounded the bed. One doctor roughly pushed Fenra aside
"Sir please stand back!" he said gruffly
Fenra stumbled back and watched over the scene of chaos unfolding around his father's bed, it all seemed to go in slow motion. His heart was in his throat and beating faster than it ever had before. He needed to get out, he needed to run. He sprinted past the door. Braska and Larka looked after him from the seats they sat in in the hallway. Larka rose on the edge of her seat, looking back at Braska who gave her a nod and said "Go!" and Larka set off at a run after Fenra.
Fenra darted down corridors, ducking and weaving around patients and staff, jumping chairs and empty beds, the scenery flew by his eyes at a blur all he knew is his mind screaming at him to get out, get away. He spotted the entrance doors and barreled through them, going at such a pace that when he came in contact with the small steps outside, now slickened with rainfall that had been coming down for the better part of an hour now, he lost all footing and fell to the ground, grinding over the earth a few feet before coming to a stop.
Easing himself to his feet and walking on, he didn't know where he was going, his feet just carried him forward till he heard her voice from the hospital entrance.
"FENRA!" Larka called after him, running towards him
"Stay Back!" Fenra said as he turned to face her "I... I don't...."
He turned to walk away again as rain slickened his fur and dampened his clothes, the rainwater on his cheeks hiding his tears.
Larka watched him walk a few feet before he fell to his knees and she ran towards him, reaching him and throwing her arms around him.
Fenra struggled and resisted at first "No! Get off me! I don't deserve.... I did thi...." he muttered and struggled, shaking Larka off and trying to drag himself to his feet again.
"DAMN IT FENRA!" Larka yelled at him and threw herself around him again.
Fenra tried again to throw her off but in vein this time as his strength slowly left him, replaced with sorrow rising up inside him. Larka held him tight as the rain drenched their bodies.
As if by some divine timing an urge rising inside him, he threw his head up and howled at the cloud blackened sky. A mournful howl that echoed around him as his father's heart monitor flat lined. He called out as his ancestors had done to their lost loved ones, for at that very moment, Fell Gray passed away.