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I heard Alistair's footfalls on the stairs. I jerked towards my clothing tossed across the room, and Victor tightened his grip on me in response. The tiger was almost twice my size and muscled to the teeth; there was no way I was overpowering him. Apparently he meant for us to be seen together, mated on Alistair's despoiled couch.

"Victor," I struggled. "Let me get up."

He laughed; I felt the echo in his lungs through his chest on my back.

"Oh, no, Lex... Now the real fun starts." He knelt down and playfully nibbled my ear.

I was uneasy with waiting there like that, but I didn't have much of a choice.

I heard Alistair's steps hesitate. He cleared his throat and then walked into the room.

"Well, well... I see you two have gotten acquainted."

I craned my neck to see Alistair's face. It wasn't good. For all the smiling in his voice, his eyes had a sadness that they vindictively withheld. And yet there was no mistaking the bulge in his briefs. He was wearing nothing else.

"Alistair," I whispered, embarrassed and honestly, just a bit excited. "I--"

Victor cut me off. "Yeah, we had ourselves a good old time, right, Lex? We fuckin' destroyed your couch. Look at all the cum he got everywhere, Al. And that's not counting the half that I scooped up and fucked back into him. Bet you wish you'd said 'yes' now, otter."

His last sentence snapped against my ears, and I whipped my head around, trying to glimpse the tiger's face.

"What does that mean?" I pushed up against the couch to try and lift him off. He held me still.

"I believe Victor is referring to his asking me out a couple months ago," Alistair replied matter-of-factly. "I turned him down."

Victor snarled. "Shut the fuck up, Al. I can see your boner just as easily as you can smell the sex in this room. You want me. Just admit it." He nuzzled against the back of my neck. "And maybe Lex'll let you have a turn, too."

I was livid.

"So you used me to make Alistair jealous?!" I bucked and throttled underneath his frame, but there was nothing sexual in my movements anymore. And still, even in my rage, I could not escape him. It then occurred to me that he could fuck me again, and I wouldn't be able to stop it. Only this time it would be rape.

"Alistair!" I cried. "Alistair, please. Help me!"

" ... Let him up, Victor."

"Fine, fine." As soon as Victor was upright, I flew off the couch and grabbed my clothes. I was humiliated. As I bent down to pick up my belongings, I could feel Victor's and my semen leaking out of my ass. "I don't know why you're so pissed, Lex. I showed you a good time, didn't I? I mean, yeah, I wanted to make Al jealous, but... I was legitimately attracted to you." I didn't even turn around. " ... Lex?"

As soon as everything was in hand, I turned and shot him my best death glare.

"Shut the fuck up, Victor!"

Alistair smiled and patted my shoulder. "Care to use my shower?"

I kept my gaze locked on Victor, boring holes into his psyche, wanting to collapse his skull with my eyes. "Please. The thought of having this asshole's cum in me another moment makes me want to puke."

Alistair gave me a pitiful glance, and then gave me directions. I made a beeline for it.

As I walked briskly away from them, two things caught my ear: First, Victor mumbling something indistinct and dour to himself, and second, Alistair commenting lightheartedly on Victor's nipple piercings.

I made it to his bathroom and shut the door behind me. I let my clothes fall from my hands to the floor, ran to the shower, and turned the spray on full force. I wasn't even inside yet. I just didn't want anyone to hear me choking on my sorrow.

Once I was under the water, I just let it all go: The anger against Victor, the embarrassment with Alistair, the desire to be more than a toy to use, the frustration in my loneliness, the hopelessness of ever finding a decent man... Most importantly, I cleaned the ever-loving shit out of my hole. I don't know how long I was in there, but I was completely drained and dried up by the time I was done, in semen and in tears.

I looked at myself in the mirror while I toweled off and got dressed. I wasn't unattractive. I was a nice guy, for the most part. I went out of my way to please my partner. So why did no one want me? It was probably the ten-thousandth time I'd asked myself that question.

When I finally came out of the bathroom, Alistair was waiting for me, leaning against the wall and smiling. "You all right, Lex? I almost went in to check on you."

" ... Where's Victor?"

"He's gone home. We talked for a bit, and things should be back to normal now."

I snickered. "I don't know what 'normal' is anymore."

I was just so messed up, and exhausted, and... confused.

Like Alistair.

But he always managed to smile.

"Things will work out in the end, Lex." He approached me and gave me a hug that was strong but all-too-brief. "You're going to be all right."

I forced myself to smile back, hoping for all the world that his optimism wasn't just more bullshit.

"Look, I've got another proposition for you: I don't want you going home tonight."

Immediately I flushed red all over. "You... would still want me, even after seeing--"

"You've got it wrong, chap. Remember how I didn't want Harold to leave?"

" ... Yes."

"At the end of the day, he's still my teammate, and my friend; I didn't want him getting himself hurt. The same thing applies here. I've chosen to care about you, Lex. You've been through a lot today, and I don't want you getting hurt anymore, either."

"I'm not drunk, Alistair."

"Oh, I know. You've had plenty of time to filter that alcohol. But like I said, today was rough for you. And I am so very sorry that things turned out the way they did. But let me try to make up for it. You can stay here tonight, with me. We can do whatever you like. But no sex. You need a friend more than a fuck right now."

My smile was suddenly a lot less fake. I took his paw in both of my own and held it, exhaling a comforted sigh as I slowly let go. "Thank you, Alistair."

"Think nothing of it." He turned and began walking toward his bedroom.

"So... Alistair... why did you shoot Victor down, anyway?"

"Ah, you see, I've always done a right royal job of ruining friendships by trying to make them more than that. So for the past few years I've resigned myself to anonymous hookups with men and women I'll never see again. It's easier and better for everyone involved if I just keep my personal life asexual."

"Oh." What kind of a life was that? "So it wasn't anything about Victor personally...?"

"This may be hard to hear right now, but Victor's not a bad guy, Lex. What he did to you was wrong, and I don't blame you if you hate him. Believe me, I made sure he learned his lesson before he left. But he would never have forced himself on you, and he genuinely regrets making you feel the way he did. He's my friend, too, and I care about him as well."

Through my anger, I could see that Alistair may have been right. Before everything took a nosedive, I was entertaining thoughts of Victor becoming a regular visitor.

Alistair sat down on his bed, and patted it for me to sit next to him. I had to remind myself he clearly stated sex was off the table.

I sat down and looked into his eyes again. He was so beautiful... and so caring...

"You're a wonderful man, Alistair," I began. "Even if friends is all we're ever meant to be, I feel so incredibly lucky being here with you."

He playfully elbowed me in the ribs. "Still not over the fact I'm the guy you've always ogled poolside, eh?"

I laughed. "No... no, I guess not." Maybe I never would be.

We chatted for a couple hours about everything and nothing. We talked about our families, our goals and fears, coming out, childhood experiences... I told him things only Eliza knew about me. He seemed to realize how much I was confiding in him, and he never judged me for it. And he told me things that were hard for him to say out loud, and those things I promised to keep secret with my life. Alistair wasn't just an aquatic pinup after that night. He had a soul, a complex and intricate one, and I was so glad I got to see it.

Eventually the conversation reached a head, and we found ourselves getting quite sleepy. He stood up, still just in his underwear, and got under the covers.

"You can sleep in here if you want," he offered. I stripped down to my athletic supporter and hopped in.

After tossing and turning for a few minutes, I looked over at Alistair, who was completely at ease but still awake.

"Alistair?"

He opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Yes, Lex...?" I still loved hearing him say my name.

"Would you--I mean, do you think it'd be okay if we spooned?"

He raised an eyebrow, visible through the silver moonlight cast from his window.

"No sex! I promise." I stuck out my pinky to offer it in oath. "I just really need to be cuddled right now. I want... I want to feel like I'm real."

He sighed. "All right, Lex. I'll hold you until you fall asleep. But even if you feel my hard-on pressed against you, we're only going to cuddle tonight, okay?"

I giggled and rotated ninety degrees, so that my back and bare ass were to him. A few seconds later, I felt the warmth of his fur against my own... and I noticed a distinct, heated tension pressed against my crack. I smiled in my little victory. But feeling it there was going to make it hard to sleep...

Alistair eventually dozed off, snoring quietly in peace. It was, to my own surprise, kind of cute. My mind was still racing. I'll sleep eventually, I thought.

My phone rang out with notification of a text message.

Who would text me at 3:30 in the morning? I slid Alistair's arm down so I could reach for my jeans. Maybe Eliza couldn't sleep, either. I could go downstairs and dish tonight's goings-on with her until sunrise.

Success! I grabbed a pant leg and pulled it close, not wanting to completely leave Alistair's embrace. A few seconds later, my phone was in hand. I flipped it open, and was struck dumb by what I read:

HEY LEX THIS IS VICTOR. I GOT UR NUMBER

FROM AL. SORRY 4 MAKING U FEEL BAD. IT

WAS GR8 BEING WIT U. CAN WE TALK SOON?

My rustling must have awoken Alistair. He yawned, "Everything okay, Lex?"

"Oh, uh, fine. It's fine." I closed the phone and tossed it to the floor. "It's nothing really... Go back to sleep."

"Oh-kaaay," he yawned again. I pulled his arm back over me.