FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

-UNDOCUMENTED-

Hmm... Should I be more worried than this? I suspect I have been searching this hedge maze for the last half hour or so by this point. At least the weather is nice. Bright and sunny with a gentle breeze every now and then. Granted, I can only feel the breeze on my exposed face, but still. I cannot even guess why the girls were so wary of this whole thing. I actually find this experience to be relaxing.

Although I do have to say it is rather quiet out here. Maybe too quiet. Aside from the faint rustling of leaves from the hedges all around me when a particularly strong breeze kicks up, the only sound I hear is the clatter of my metal boots clanking with each step. I am especially surprised that my helmet does not muffle my hearing at all. Celestia and Luna sure know how to forge some fine suits of enchanted armor.

Still no signs of my friends or the Elements of Harmony... The only clue we have is that we must 'search within'. I do have to say it was clever of Twilight to guess that they would be hidden within the labyrinth. Although Discord did not seem too worried when we showed up out here to start searching. Although... Causing their horns and wings to disappear? If my friends had looked like they were in pain or I saw even a drop of blood from where their appendages used to be, that could have easily gone from funny to scary.

Right... Discord. Where is that goofball anyway? Is he just waiting outside the labyrinth for us to find the Elements? I honestly cannot bring myself to dislike the guy after his first appearance before me. Although my friends really seemed to hate him and even the royal sisters seemed highly wary of him. I know they say he ruled the world at one point, keeping the planet engulfed in utter chaos that resulted in eternal misery for the people. But... Is it really possible for someone so hilariously funny and jolly to be that vile? I simply cannot process it. He certainly seems cunning and sly, but not evil.

Perhaps I am just not searching hard enough. Maybe if I examine... Wait a second. Discord said that wings and magic cannot be used. But he never said anything about swords. Just let me get the Celestial Sword out... Wow, it feels like it has been too long since I last beheld that beautiful white blade. The glow seems to be gone, but I guess that is understandable since it is currently pretty bright outside. Now then... A few hacks against this hedge and... There we go! A spot I can squeeze through.

Nothing new over here. Maybe I should just look around over here for a while before carving another gap in the walls. Wait a second... Will Celestia and Luna be mad that I may have just vandalized their hedge maze? Uh oh... Uh... Maybe I should refrain from cutting anymore holes in the walls. Yeah, better play it safe. I suppose I will just...return my sword to its scabbard on the back of the Lunar Shield... Yeah.

Walking and walking... I have to say this is all pretty relaxing. I am just letting my mind wander as I...well...wander through this maze. This is not scary at all. I wonder how the girls are doing as I... Huh? Oh, that is cute. A pair of little white doves perched upon a hedge. "Well, look at you. What's up, pretty birds?"

Wait... What is with those looks they are giving me? And...are those a pair of horns on their heads? They do not quite match either... And... What the?! They are talking to me?! And I know that voice... "Pretty birds? Why, how kind of you to say such a thing. And that armor of yours is mighty easy on the eyes too."

Sure enough, they are engulfed in a bright gray flash and... Oh, good grief. Now Discord is lounging around on top of the hedge. That got me good. "Uh... Man, you sure had me fooled. Sorry about that... I tend to talk a lot when I feel no one is around."

"Oh, there's no need to apologize, my good sir! It just goes to show how much you care when you compliment the little things like that. It's rather endearing, honestly." He just hopped down in front of me. I do not feel the least bit bothered at all, although I really should not let myself get distracted by a friendly and funny face.

"Thanks. Well, I should keep looking. And don't worry, I haven't been using any magic or flight." I say while I start to go on my way. Need to keep moving. I have no idea how big this maze could be. It could take hours to locate the Elements. Hopefully we can get this game over with before I have to run to the bathroom. I doubt there is an outhouse in the labyrinth.

I round the corner and...there he is playing croquet...with his head?! It is completely detached from his body while it holds a long mallet in its hands. And he can still talk?! "Glad to see you're still sticking to the rules. Most would try to cheat by now if they could."

Then he bonks his head, sending himself rolling through a hoop before...his body is already on the other side and snatches up his head before placing it back on his neck. Able to alter reality as he wishes... Now I have seen everything. And... Hang on... That tone of voice he is using... "But back to the previous topic... It's just a shame that your friends do not share the same caring nature that you have."

There is something I really do not like about the way he said that. Wait... Now I remember. I should not take anything he says too seriously. Although I suppose I may as well hear him out. "What do you mean by that? Of course they're caring. I should know. I've been living among them for a year now."

He is shaking his hands at me. Looks like he might have not worded his response properly. "Oh, that came out wrong! What I meant is yes, they are quite caring towards each other and their friends. However..." Now he is floating around me like a swaying snake in the breeze? "What I meant to say is that they are not quite so caring towards humans. And I should know."

I shrug my shoulders and just keep walking. It did not sound like he was being honest. More like he was just messing with me. But... Hang on. What did he just say? "I know you want to know. Those royal bumpkins might not want to tell you the truth, but I know everything they know. This world once had its own human population, as I am sure you must have been told at some point. Aren't you curious of what became of them?"

I sigh while turning to face him. "I already know that much. They did something that caused them to fall out of harmony, forcing them to be banished to distant worlds."

"But what exactly did they do to warrant such a grim punishment?" That question actually got my attention. And... Well, it is tempting to hear him out. I mean he must have been around back when that crisis occurred. Even when trapped in stone, someone with his kind of power could probably observe the earthshaking events that unfolded back then. And even though it is very possible that he is lying...

.....Fine. I suppose if anyone knows the truth, it is Discord. I guess I have the right to know since I am here as the first step to undo the damage that was done back then. "OK then. What happened back then that caused the humans to be exiled from this world forever?"

I better stay cautious. That sly smirk on his face is just screaming 'Just a little more and I will have you in my clutches, you little bumbling oaf' to me. "Very well then. Just be warned, everything I am about to say now is the honest truth."

And there he goes floating around me again. "As I'm sure you've guessed or have been told, humans did indeed reside within Equestria back in the day. And they got along with the ponies and other creatures in the land just as well as you did. But then one day, someone got thinking. And that thinking led to a radical change in the human's perception of their little pony friends." That look he is giving me... I really do not like it. "Are these ponies really our equals? Or are we the truly superior race?"

The mere thought of such a concept taking hold in anyone's mind sickens me. I cannot stand such an outlook on life. Viewing one's people as superior over others is just begging for conflict and strife. Not a healthy mindset at all. But as tempted as I am to comment on that, I feel I should hold my tongue until he finishes.

"And so, the betrayal began. Your human predecessors banded together and invaded to make the ponies and Equestria theirs alone. About as out of harmony as one could get, really. And so, with all other options thrown out the window, the royal family used the Elements of Harmony to banish their former friends to far away worlds." And now he is giving me that sly look again. "And you may be wondering. 'What does this have to do with me?' you might be asking yourself right now. Well, ask yourself this. Do you really think all the scars from that betrayal are gone?"

The emotional scars... I suppose it would not be surprising if the human race was reviled after that incident. And Zecora... Her people still have tales about humans that have been passed around the fire for ages. And there he goes again. "Do you really think your friends will still be your friends once they find out about what really happened? Do you truly believe Equestria itself will want to have anything to do with you once the truth is revealed? You're walking on thin ice, kid."

As convincing as he is sounding right now, Luna's warning still echoes in my mind. Whatever it is he is saying is likely just to mess with me. For all I know, he is spinning lies on the spot. "What would you have me do?"

Now he just looks delighted while holding his hand to his chin. "Ah, what to do indeed! Isn't that the thousand bit question... Well... If you want my honest suggestion... Let it all go."

"Come again?" I ask in response. Let it go? What, does he mean to just stop caring about anything?

"That's right." Now he is giving me that sly diabolical smirk again. "Rather than looking forward to what's going to happen the next day with your friends, it would probably be wiser to just stop caring altogether so that when that wretched day comes where all of Equestria turns their backs on you, you will be feeling too detached to really be fazed at all. Sometimes a little apathy can be sheltering."

Apathy... The complete opposite of humanity. I will not deny that there have been times where I have felt quite apathetic, but that has not happened since I arrived in Equestria. Well, I can see Discord is trying to just get under my skin by this point. And I know better than to doubt those wonderful mares who mean the world to me. "That's a convincing argument you're making, but no thanks."

Huh... He looks genuinely shocked. What, did he think I am that gullible? "What're you saying? You mean to tell me you think the ponies of this world won't reject you once they find out what happened ages ago? The entire reason humanity no longer exists in this world is because they became terrified of their former friends!"

I think now I should be on my way. So I turn my back on him. "My friends will vouch for me. They know to judge the individual for what they are, not for what the majority of their race is like. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find me some Elements. Maybe I'll even find some hydrogen and oxygen to merge into the Element of H2O." All right, I know that was a bad pun. But I simply could not resist.

"Oh, you little..." Huh? What is he... Just poked me on the head? "You've been letting your heart guide you for too long! Time to show a little apathy!"

Well, that was certainly rude. I am looking back at him with a bit of a glare. He is finally starting to bug me. "I'll start being more apathetic when I feel like it, thank you very much."

Huh? Now he looks totally baffled. Why? What did he think I would say? "Uh... Are you feeling all right? Feeling a little gray? Looking a little gray?"

By now, I am just sick of him. So I just keep walking. And he is still poking me on the head over and over. "Well, this can't be right... What's going on here? Is that some gray I see? No, that's still white and dark blue... What gives?! Why isn't it working?!"

That makes forty taps on the head he has given me... Now fifty. All right, I think it is time I make this spastic pest buzz off. But how? Hmm... Ooh, that will work. I would normally never consider doing this. But if Discord can shrug off being fried by a lightning spell from Nightmare Moon, then he will surely be all right in the long run with a little blunt force trauma.

I smack his arm away and look up at him. I wonder if he knows what is about to happen. "Don't you have some busted balls to be tending to?"

That certainly seems to have baffled him. He lifts his hands in a puzzled manner, his face looking truly flummoxed. "Huh? I don't have any broken balls."

And now for the punch line. I just lashed out with my foot, kicking him right between the legs. Man, what would that have done to anyone else, considering the kind of strength my boots give me? That look on his face... Looks like he just got poked with a needle somewhere and now he is just frozen in place. Well, there is only one thing I can say to him. "You do now."

Time to get moving. I turn and head on my way. But as soon as I round the next corner... Was that a little girl I just heard scream? Oh lord, I cannot help snickering... Well, he certainly had that coming. I just hope he will be fine. Even though he will likely brush that wound off, it will likely still be sore for a while.

Huh? Who was that I just heard from my left? On the other side of the hedge? "Huh? Who just screamed? Was that Rarity?"

I know that voice anywhere. "Twi? That you? You doing OK?"

"James?! Hang on, let me find a way around!" I can hear her hooves clopping in a rhythm that matches a gallop. She seems to be going on ahead. I better try to keep up. Now she sounds like she is moving further away from me. Maybe there is something up ahead... Aha. There is an open area here. Must be like a rest area. I see a few potted plants in elegantly carved stone pots and a stone bench or two. And here comes Twilight.

"Oh, thank goodness! I was worried sick! Are you all right?" She asks right before sailing into my arms while I kneel down to catch her. Phew... It feels good to hold my dear friend. I was just starting to wonder if anything had happened to her. "Was that you who screamed a minute ago? Did something happen?"

"Me? Nah, that was Discord. He wouldn't stop poking me in the head, so I gave him one pair of busted balls to tend to so he would take a hike." I just said in response. Sure enough, she seems kind of baffled by those words.

"Busted...balls? What kind of balls?" She definitely does not get it, so I will just show a simple sudden forward jab of my right shin. "What do... Oh, good lord, you didn't! Not with that kind of strength!" Now she gets it. Even though she seems horrified, she also looks like she is trying hard to not laugh. I cannot say I blame her. It is a little cringe-inducing to imagine a guy getting socked there.

"Hey, he asked for it! Besides, I'm sure he'll walk it off in no time. Looked like it still hurt though!" And now we are both laughing. Man... First Nightmare Moon zaps him good and then I give the guy a low blow to the gonads. Good thing the guy is highly resilient.

Considering the location, it may be a good idea to sit down and take a break. I will just sit on this bench here. "Any sign of the rest of the girls?"

And now Twilight is joining me on the bench to my right. "Not yet. I was hoping you would've found one of them by now."

She certainly does seem relieved and even a bit happy. "You know, I think I'm starting to get why you and the other girls are so wary of that guy. Discord can be a real pest when he wants to be."

"A pest... Right." Now she seems rather worried. Was it something I said? And... Now she is just gently leaning against my arm. "I was worried he might've messed with your head by the time I found you. I don't want to lose you..."

Mess with my head? So that was the name of the game, huh? "Well, he tried. But I never took the guy seriously. I don't think he liked that though."

Twilight really seems to like it when I stroke my fingers through her mane. I just cannot help it, really. Almost like petting a friendly animal, but knowing that you are pleasing a person instead. I hear her let out a pleasured sigh before she speaks softly. "Well... Did you have any luck in finding any of the Elements of Harmony?"

Well, that is discouraging. I was sure that Twilight would have found at least one of them by now. "Can't say I have. I'm not even sure if they're being stashed separately or are all bundled together somewhere. You sure they're out here?"

"Well, this would be the first place I would think of looking when the hint to finding them is to 'search within'. The last hint Discord gave us was that we had to 'go back to the beginning'. And the Elements were being stashed inside a book in my house! But this time... They must be out here." She does seem pretty convinced that they are somewhere out here. And it would make sense. This would be a cunning place to hide pretty much anything.

The moment is actually rather calm. But at the same time... It feels a bit...worrying. Not like a relaxing moment in the day. But rather...a calm before a storm. Not a rainstorm or even a chocolate milk storm. The weather seems fair and the sky clear. But... There is that sense of dread again. Something is going to happen... And what is going on with the other five girls in the maze? Are they all right? Again, Discord might be a pest at times, but I just cannot see him as being dangerous.

Twilight just jumped down from the bench and is stretching to loosen herself up. "All right, I think we should keep moving. The sooner we find the Elements, the better."

I better get back on my feet too. "Sounds good. I'll keep an eye out for them."

What is with that look Twilight is giving me? Is she still worried? "Um... Actually, would it be fine with you if we stuck together?"

As much as I would like her by my side, I tend to focus better when I am alone. No distractions and the like. And with how dear they are to me, my friends are certainly a big distraction at times, but in a good way. Now is not one of those times. "As much as I'd like to, I think we'd be better off splitting up. We'll cover more ground that way."

She does seem disappointed, but she also seems to understand. "I guess you have a point... Just be careful. Don't listen to Discord at all if you see him again." And there she goes. "I'll start down this... Oh, wait. You came outta this one. Um... Over here then! I'll see you up ahead, James!"

"You take care!" And she is gone. Now I better get going. That is the path Twilight came out of... Maybe this one over here. All right, now to keep searching.

Another ten minutes have gone by and I have found nothing. No sight of my friends and no sign of the Elements of Harmony. Even so, just walking along out here is a good way to just chill and let the mind wander... I wonder how the royal sisters are doing? Are they watching from the palace? I can still see a bit of it over the top of the hedge here. And... Hang on. Who is that I hear?

It sounds like some grunting... And some heavy footsteps. Judging by the sound of the voice... Is that Rarity?! Sweet! Now I just need to hurry along and... Oof! I ran right into that hedge... Man, I forgot how fast my legs carry me when I wear this armor! Maybe I should wear this stuff more often. OK, down here... There is another corner. Turn right here... Then another right... Then left... And then... What...the...crap?

What the hell is she doing? She is lugging around a huge boulder that is probably as tall as I am! I had no idea she was ever that burly, even if she does seem to be struggling under the weight! And she appears to be covered in a layer of gray dust judging by how pale her coloration is. What, did she find a quarry in the labyrinth somewhere and dug that thing out with her bare hooves?! Her mane and coat do seem a little scuffed up... But still... That boulder... Do not laugh, James. Do not laugh...

Well, I found her, so I may as well catch up to her. "Heya, Rarity! Uh... Why...are you lugging around...that...rock?"

All right, NOW she puts it down with a thump. But she seems a little annoyed with me for some reason. "A rock?! What do you mean?! Just look at the luster on this gorgeous hunk of a diamond!"

"Duh... Diamond?" That is all I can say, really. She thinks...that freaking boulder...is a diamond?

And now she is nuzzling and...kissing...and caressing that boulder like... Oh, I just have no idea! "I know. Dazzling, is it not? Just look at that gorgeous light blue sheen! Oh, you are such a handsome gem, Tom. Where have you been all my life?!"

Tom... She is calling that massive boulder...Tom... Can...not...contain... "Bwahahahaha!!! Tom?! Diamond?! No wonder you wear glasses sometimes!" Need to stop laughing... Oh god, my gut hurts! Sheesh, who knew Rarity could be this funny?!

"Don't laugh! I know what you're trying to do! You're just trying to make me think this diamond isn't all that valuable! Well, it's not going to work! There is no other diamond out there like this one and it's mine, you hear me?! MINE! You can't have it!" Man, she is practically screaming at me. Could she get any sillier?

Well, I suppose I better do her a favor and cleave that boulder in two with the Celestial Sword. To be fair, there is the possibility of gemstones being inside the thing. Just do not ask me why they are already cut and polished whenever they are dug up. "OK, enough of this standup routine. Leave that stuff to Pinkie Pie. Now, let's see if there really are some diamonds in... Ow!"

Wha... What the hell was that for? She just...jumped and kicked me squarely in the gut. My armor prevented me from actually getting hurt, but...I still felt a sting in the heart when she did that. Rarity...just tried to hurt me? My best friend? And she looks...furious at me. "I said you can't have this! This diamond is mine and no one else's! So keep your grubby hands off it!"

I can still feel it... I instinctively hold my empty hand to my armored belly. There is no wound or bruise, but... "Why'd you do that? We're... I thought you loved me..."

She is hoisting that thing on her back and... That gaze she is giving me... No love or adoration at all. "Love you? What could I possibly get out of someone like you? The only thing I have any need for are all the riches in the world! Now begone! I need...erf... I need to get this gorgeous hunk of a gem home! Now, which way to the exit?"

...I cannot believe what I just heard... Rarity... What... One of the most precious friends I have... She just dumped me for...a rock.

I cannot proceed right now... I am just sitting with my back to a hedge. I still cannot fathom it. Not even an hour ago, she was happy to be with me and complimented my armored form. Now... Why... Rarity, I thought you loved me... Adored me. And I always adored and treasured you, you gorgeous mare... Why do this? What has bewitched you?

I am not even certain of how much time has passed. Rarity is long gone, but... I just cannot bring myself to stand. This misery... How can it be affecting me this deeply? I still have five very dear friends with me out here somewhere. And yet... I am crushed. I can still remember when we met... Rarity was the first person in Ponyville to actually try to help me. Granted, she may have hurt me right away by accident, but she patched me up right away too. But now... It is as if she does not even notice the bracelet around her ankle anymore...

I hear the sound of hooves clopping. But I do not care. I am too miserable to pay any mind. It is probably just Rarity passing me without even casting a glance in my direction... Wait. A hoof on my shoulder? And that voice... "Hey... James? You OK, big guy?"

Rainbow Dash. I... I grab her in a tight embrace. I never thought I would be this relieved to see her. But she certainly is surprised by this desperate seeking of affection. "Whoa! Uh... Are you all right? Why're you this clingy?!"

"I... I don't know how to say it..." That is all I can squeak out. I am just too relieved to have a familiar and friendly face here.

I think Rainbow is catching on to how I feel. I can feel her holding me in a tender hug that you would not expect from such a brazen and athletic mare. "Easy, buddy. Calm down... What's wrong? I don't think I've ever seen you this bummed out since the day I first met you."

All right... I do not want to give Rainbow Dash any reason to be upset with Rarity, but... I need to be honest. "Rarity... She just dumped me for a rock... Even kicked me when I tried to get close to it."

She just suddenly let go and backed up. Rainbow looks...angry yet baffled? "Huh?! She kicked you?! And she'd rather have a rock with her instead of you?! What's her problem?! Last I checked, she had the hots for you!"

"I don't know either... But everything she said was sincere. She wanted nothing to do with me..." It still hurts to remember. I... I just cannot wrap my head around it. Why? Why did she become such a wretched miser? She is the bearer of the Element of Generosity. Such behavior should be beneath her...

I cannot even look at Rainbow... Cannot even lift my head.... Huh? Her hoof on my cheek? "James... Listen to me."

I may as well look at her. And... She... A kiss? I... It feels soothing... Familiar... I... I feel calmer. Just... Thank you, Rainbow... She is looking into my eyes with the same tenderness I only see every once in a great while. "James... I don't know what's gone wrong with Rarity, but trust me when I say this."

I can only nod. And now she is smiling somberly. "I love you, big guy. I don't care if you're already spoken for; I still love you all the same. And no matter what happens... Even if all your friends in the world turn their backs on you, you'll always have me. So..." The touch of her hoof against my cheek... "Don't worry too much. You've got something you'll never lose. You have my heart... OK, I know that sounds way too sappy to be coming from me, but I'm trying to make a point here!"

OK, that got a chuckle out of me. Man, Rainbow... What would I do without you? So unlike myself, yet I cannot help adoring her despite her occasional ego flare-ups. All right... I am feeling a bit better now... The sting is still there in my heart, but... I suppose it is a bit more bearable. But still... I want Rarity back.

"Did you see where she went? I wanna track Rarity down and chew her out. You don't dump a friend for a rock!" Wow... I feel lucky to have a friend like her. Rainbow, you are a marvel.

Well, I suppose I should point her in the right direction. "I last saw her going that way. I don't know how long ago that was..."

She seems pretty determined... I hope she can set Rarity straight. I love that mare... "Thanks. You keep an eye out for the Elements and I'll catch up to you later. Keep your chin up, James! I'll get through to her somehow!" And there she goes. Well... I guess I should get going too. Not like the rest of my friends will turn their backs on me. Still... Was it something I did? No, that cannot be right. Rarity has been very dear to me since very shortly after my arrival in Equestria. I know I blame myself too easily for this stuff, but still...

So far, nothing yet. No Elements of Harmony. And no friends... I need to keep my spirits up... Just let my mind wander. Hum a tune. Just enjoy the pleasant weather and surroundings. Hm... There I go humming that little jingle I sometimes hear Fluttershy sing. The weirdest thing is I swear I have heard it somewhere before, and not in Equestria. Strange, is it not? Well, it is not like I can go back to Earth and try to find out at my own leisure. It is catchy though.

Still... My thoughts keep going back to Rarity. Why would... I can still feel that ache in my heart when I realized she had just attacked me. I know she loves anything fancy, including gemstones, but she has never put them before her friends. What could drive her to become that way?

All right, enough of this. Need to find those Elements. Might as well run. And off I go. The only thing I hear is the clanking of my armored feet as I zip through the maze. Need to look through every gap in the walls I come across though. Nothing there... Nothing here... And nothing... Is that Applejack?

Whoa! Hit the brakes! Close one. Came to a sliding stop right in front of her. "Sorry, AJ! You OK? Any luck finding the Elements?"

"Sure did! I saw all six of 'em!" Huh? What is with that look on her face? Right after she said that... Her eyes keep glancing everywhere while she seems to be biting her lower lip. But still... She saw the Elements?! Nice!

"Sweet! Where are they? Do you have them?" Hopefully she has them under her hat. I do not see them on her person, so... Huh? Nothing under her hat?

"Nope. A big ol' alligator came along and gobbled them all up. Sorry, James." Wait... What? An alligator? On a mountaintop? In a hedge maze?

Something seems off here. It is not like Applejack to joke around like this. "Uh... AJ? Are you feeling all right? And why are you looking...a bit dull? Rolled around in some gravel dust?" She seems a little...pale as well. Kind of like Rarity. Maybe I should brush it off of her... Huh? This stuff is not coming off.

Looks like Applejack is getting annoyed by me brushing her with my hand. "Hey, knock it off, tubby! I'm just fine!"

"Oh, sorry. It's just that I saw Rarity and... Hang on. Tubby?!" Well, that came right out of nowhere. Barking insults at me? That is not like her at all.

"Yeah! Yer about as broad as my barn! Ya check a scale lately?" She keeps making that weird face whenever she says something weird, but she still seems...sincere about it.

I have to let out a sigh at that last remark. "AJ, I know I was a bit portly when I first showed up in Ponyville a year back. But I've slimmed down! I know I have to be under 200 pounds by now!"

"Well, I'm not seein' it. Too many trips ta Sugarcube Corner?" All right, is she deliberately trying to push my buttons? She certainly is not doing a good job of it right now. I can brush off any comments about my weight, but this makes no sense! What is her problem?! Now I am genuinely concerned for her. Letting Applejack out of my sight would probably be a bad idea. She must have hit her head or something.

"All right, enough of that. I think I should stick with you for now. Is that all right?" I doubt she will object to my company. Applejack may not be my closest friend, but she is still a dear friend nonetheless.

Wait... She just shook her head? "Nah. I'm good on my own."

May as well tell it to her straight. "AJ, I'm starting to get worried about you. A lot of the stuff you're saying doesn't even make sense. I just want to be there for you as your friend."

That look she is giving me... Is that a show of confusion or something else? "Friends? I don't recall us bein' friends."

Wha... Why... What is she saying? "AJ... What is wrong with you? We've been friends for a full year now."

"News ta me. I never liked ya to begin with. Always hated ya, to be honest." That... I... Applejack, what... That pain in my heart... Why does this hurt so much? "Why don't ya just scram? Nopony likes ya anyway."

There is nothing I can say to that. Even though she makes that weird face every time she says something, it always turns into a look of sincerity. And she is not exaggerating at all. That face shows that she is telling me straight.

"Well... All right. I'll just...go..." It is all I can say. I am just walking away now while she walks in the other direction. Applejack... I never thought those words would hurt this much... What happened to you?

What is happening in this maze? My friends are turning on me one by one... Why? Rarity always loved me, and then she attacks me. And now Applejack admits that she always hated me? What is next? I want to believe Rainbow Dash's words from earlier, but... Will she still be the same pegasus I know and love when I see her next? Will Twilight still be happy to see me next time we cross paths? I feel so doubtful... Why am I so scared? That feeling of dread is swelling in my heart.

I feel so listless as I wander... I am hardly even paying attention to my surroundings. The Elements of Harmony are feeling less and less important to me... I still have my Element embedded in my helmet's forehead... No, I still need to stay alert. If nothing else, having a task to focus on will keep my mind off of what just transpired. Stay alert. They have to be around here somewhere.

I seem to have hit a few dead ends, but have found nothing. Wait... That faint sound. The sound of hooves clopping against the ground? They are too light to be Rarity's. Good. I am not sure I want to see her again as she is now. She would likely attack me on sight. Just need to find my way around this hedge.

Great, there is another corner. This way... Now that way... Ah, over there. Pinkie Pie! I never get tired of that peppy mare. But... What is with that stance? She is constantly slinking low to the ground? Is she on edge about something? Trying to track something down?

"Phew, am I glad I found you. Are you OK, Pinkie?" Seriously, if there is someone I always love having in my company, it is Pinkie Pie. We could not be more unlike each other, but that probably means we just mesh better. Opposites attract and all that. But... Why does she look so grouchy?

That glare she is giving me... I have never seen that look of utter hostility in her eyes. "Glad? About what? Need a good laugh?"

There is something...spiteful about that tone of voice. It is not filled with the usual pep and joy I always hear from her. And... What is the deal with her coloration? It is not just her mane and coat. It seems to be her eyes as well. I suppose I have mentioned this before, but the colors of the ponies in this world are quite vibrant. But like Rarity and Applejack, they seemed...duller. Almost as if a thin layer of gray dust had been applied to them. She looked like her colors had become the same subdued shade of pastels.

If it was anyone else, I would likely be a bit wary and eager to keep my distance. But Pinkie Pie is one of my dearest and most dependable friends. Friendship is quite literally what keeps her going in life. So I know I have nothing to fear. "No, not really. I'm just glad to see you. Are you OK though? You seem...grumpy."

"So, I look grumpy, huh? Well, maybe I am!" Is she...yelling at me? I am tempted to just turn around and walk away. I really cannot stand being yelled at. No, I should not leave. Not yet.

"Well... Is there anything I can do to help?" I know she likes my company. Pinkie Pie and I have been pretty tight for a while now.

She is walking away from me now. "How about you just get lost?"

This is escalating much faster than with Applejack and Rarity. What in the world is wrong with her? "You sure? I thought you would like a friend with you while we search for the Elements of Harmony. Would you rather..."

She just started yelling at me... She looks so furious... Almost like she could pounce on me and start pounding on me at any second. "I don't care! I hate the Elements of Harmony! I hate everything! I hate you! Just beat it!"

That... That was all I could stand. I can only just turn and walk away... That hurt. Being yelled at always leaves me feeling bitter inside, but...that... She hates me now? She hates...everything? What the hell happened to you, Pinkie Pie?

I am alone... I honestly want to cry, but the tears will simply not come to me. I am just huddled in a corner somewhere in this maze. Twilight... Rainbow... I wish one of you were here now... What in the world is going on? My friends... They're not even friends to me anymore. It is as if they have become entirely different people.

Wait... I am noticing a pattern. Rarity, the bearer of the Element of Generosity, is now a greedy hoarder. Applejack, the bearer of the Element of Honesty, is now either a terrible liar or likes to strike nerves as hard as a hammer. Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter, is now a wrathful and spiteful person who seems to hate just about everything. They are all...opposites of how they used to be. And that leaves...

No... Oh god, no... Not her. Not Fluttershy too! She is the Element of Kindness. And the opposite of that is... I do not want to even fathom what she would be! Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash... What has become of them since we last crossed paths? Have they been twisted too?

I cannot just stand here. I need to get to Fluttershy right away. For all I know, she is the only one I still have. If I can get to her before she becomes twisted, maybe I can keep her from changing too. I cannot even guess what could have...corrupted the rest of my friends, but if I can find Fluttershy, I may be able to keep her safe. I love her... I cannot bear the thought of losing her too. We have already been through so much by now and I will not let it all be thrown away!

More than ever, I am tempted to fly and search the maze from above. But I cannot. Discord is probably watching from somewhere and I should not break the rules just to locate my girlfriend... Oh, fine. I am sure Celestia, Luna, and Nightmare Moon will understand with the current circumstances. I need to close the gap between us as soon as possible.

I draw my sword and start hacking my way through the hedges, barging through the crudely cut holes in the walls of leaves and bushes. Now over here. The Celestial Sword cleaves through them like paper. Virtually no resistance. And my armor keeps me safe from scrapes and cuts. But I do not care about me right now. I need to get to Fluttershy before...whatever strange phenomenon is plaguing this labyrinth twists her into...the opposite of 'Kindness'. My armor's enchantments are likely shielding me from such effects, but in her case...

How long have I been at this? I have been in too much of a panic to even really keep track of anything. I swear I may have even passed one of my former friends along the way. I did not pay them any heed. Whoever they are, they are dead to me. No, that sounds too cruel. I mean... I hope they are in there somewhere, but... I am not sure if I would be able to trust them again after all that. They may not be the same people in terms of values and outlooks, but they are still physically and identically the same mares who became the foundation of my life in this wonderful world. And now only a single piece of that foundation remains... And there she is!

Thank god. She is right over there. And from way over here, she seems just fine. That light yellow and pink seems the same shade as before from this distance. Now to just catch up... My armored legs are carrying me towards her with great speed. I drop my sword and remove my shield from my left arm before reaching down and wrapping my arms around her before she can even turn to face me. "Thank god, you're OK... I missed you, honey. Have you been all right?"

Wait... She is struggling against my embrace? "Who's that? Let go!"

Did I startle her? I better let her go for now. All right, now she is looking at me with...a bit of a glare? Wait... Now that I am closer... Her mane and coat are a little...duller. Is she... No... Please, no! Please still be the mare I love... I know you are in there somewhere, honey...

"Oh, it's you. No luck in finding the Elements?" Well, at least she is smiling at me. Although there is something...dubious about that look in her eyes.

"No, nothing yet. But... Man, I can't tell you how happy I am to see you, Fluttershy. I was worried about you." Now I just need to stay with her at all times. I know I told Twilight it would be better to split up, but with all that has been happening, I cannot allow Fluttershy out of my sight.

"Oh boo hoo hoo, you worry too much. What, did you think the hedges would eat me?" Where... What did that come from? That just sounded really mean more than anything.

Still, I guess I have to snort at that one. "Uh... Of course not. It's just that something...weird has been happening with the others. So I dropped everything to find you. I mean, why wouldn't I? I love you."

What is with that stare? It looks...disdainful. "You do? Well, I'm not so sure I do. I mean, I'm a girl with very specific tastes."

I can feel my body heat rising. Sweat is oozing all over me. No... Not you too, Fluttershy! No, do not panic. Talk it out. I cannot lose her. "Well... What tastes do you mean? What do you want in a man?"

That smirk on her face. It almost feels evil... "What kind of man do I like? Well, I like a man with endurance. A guy who can really take a hit. Someone who enjoys pain."

"You mean a masochist..." Why... Just... What in the world would Fluttershy want with a man who enjoys pain? Unless... Oh, please do not say what I think you are about to...

"Exactly. I know we've been together for a while, James. And you're really good in bed too. But my tastes have changed. You still want us to stay together, right?" I swear she is getting enjoyment out of my anxiety. I know I am stressed and I cannot hide it.

Even so, I do not want this relationship to end. She just might be the only one I still have by now... "Of course I do. I love you..."

Now that there is a very worrying smirk. "Then prove it. Punch yourself in the face. Show me how badly you want us to stay together."

...She wants to see me in pain. Well... Hopefully this is all she wants to see. I know this is not how Fluttershy really is. But maybe...if I stick with her, I will be able to help bring the real her to the surface. I better take my gauntlet off first. An armored fist would likely hurt like hell. Wait, what did she just say? "No. With the armor still on."

What is her deal?! Does she want to see me in as much pain as possible? Well... I suppose I cannot turn back. My fist is raised. I just hope I do not have to hit myself as hard as possible. "All right..."

I close my eyes and... Ow! Good god, that hurts! I even staggered from that hit! But...at least she is smiling. Even if a very cruel smile. Please, do not ask me to do more... Crap. "Nice. Now, go get your sword."

This... She cannot possibly be serious. But...I have to. I cannot lose her now. I retrieve the Celestial Sword from nearby and stand before her. "Looks like your neck is still exposed. You know what to do. Just a little cut."

She... Why... She wants me to draw my own blood. Fluttershy wants to see me bleed. But I love her too much. Maybe just a tiny scrape.

I lift the edge of my sword to the side of my neck. I can feel the edge lightly touching it. I feel the faint warmth of the blade. But...it is so sharp. What if I apply too much force? It might take my entire head off. Does she know this too? That vile grin... Is she hoping I will kill myself?

I want to make her happy. But...this is not right. I love her...but... I... I drop the sword, letting it clatter at my feet. "I...can't..."

The smirk has turned into a scowl. I know I displeased her, but I know this cannot be right. I should not have to wound myself to please my lover. "Thought so. You always were such a weak little loser. Well, I'm done with you. Maybe I'll find somepony else to please me instead."

She... No. Please! You are the only one I have left! "Honey, please... We've been together since almost the very beginning... I'll do whatever..."

She did not even let me finish. She just...jumped and kicked me square in the chest. "I said I'm done with you, idiot!"

That one... It knocked me right off my feet. All I hear after that is a loud clank when I hit the ground and something clattering away from me. Knocked the wind out of me. She... Dear little Fluttershy...attacked me? I clamber to my hands and knees. My helmet... Where is it? I do not feel it on my head anymore. But... That does not matter. She is walking away. No... I cannot let her go like this...

I am too jarred to climb to my feet. I can only crawl. She hears me coming. She looks back at me with that scowl... "Baby, please! Don't go! I can change! I'll..."

The next thing I see coming is her hind hoof. And...the pain... Right in my exposed forehead... I see stars... My skull throbs... That blow... It was all I needed to know then... She is gone. The mare I love... Now a demon who only wants someone as vile as her.

I do not know how much time has passed. I am still where I fell. First Rarity, then Applejack, then Pinkie Pie, and now Fluttershy. And by now...Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle... They too... All six... I... I have never felt this empty... I knew that they were precious to me. I just did not know exactly how precious...until they were gone...

The tears finally flow... Quiet sobs escape my lips. My head throbs. My heart aches. I do not even feel anything around me. They were there for me at the very start when I needed someone most. And they were with me every step of the way since then. And now... The very opposite of what they... Wait...

Generosity became greed. Honesty became lies. Kindness became cruelty. And... Show a little...apathy, he said... Apathy... The opposite of... Humanity...

This is... I know who did this... He can twist anything at will... Even someone's very soul... This...wrath building inside me... The pain is being drowned in the inferno that is flaring within me. I have never felt such rage... But now...I know who has taken away those I hold most dear. "Dis...cord..."

http://youtu.be/68I3j2luW64

He... I know it was him now. He did this to them! I climb to my knees. My hands. I see them. Under normal circumstances, I would likely just continue to wallow in despair. But... I possess the Celestial Sword. I wield the Lunar Shield. And in my very hands... I see it. Over my left, sparking electricity. Over my right, flickering flames. I have power. Power to actually do something about this!

Forget this game. Discord, I'm coming for you! I bring my sword and shield to my hand and arm with levitation as I do the same to my helmet, placing it upon my head. The pain from the blow my beloved dealt to me still pounds in my skull, but that does not matter. Even if I have a concussion, the pain is nothing compared to how my heart feels. Only one thing matters to me now. The only thing I seek. "You're a dead man, Discord!"

With a flap of my great white wings, I take to the sky. And I see it at the far edge of this vast labyrinth. The open area right outside the entrance. That freak must surely be there. And I'm off. Swooping low over the labyrinth. No sign of my friends... What am I saying? Friends? They're gone. Forever, probably...

There he is. Slouched on a hammock between a pair of trees with wide canopies. Well, not for long... Wait. This guy... He can alter reality at will. Including himself. He can pop off his own head and put it right back on. He is immortal... Any kind of punishment I inflict on him will be fleeting. There has to be a way. I need to make him vulnerable before I strike...

He sees me coming. Sipping from a lemonade glass and lifting a pair of sunglasses from his eyes while he watches me descend. Maybe I should sheathe my sword. Yeah, I'll just slide it back into its scabbard for the moment. I want nothing more than to tear into him, but it needs to wait. Be patient. And be careful. I need to play my cards just right if I am going to give this sick bastard what he deserves.

"Ooh, love the wingspan. I'd say yours is even more majestic than Celestia's herself. Do they ever need any preening?" He is so casual with how he addresses me... I know what you did, you monster. Don't act like you don't know what you did to them! But I can't show it. I need to make sure he does not even suspect that I have seen what has become of my friends. And he sure isn't acting like he knows. I guess that low blow to the balls must have left him too sore to keep tabs on us. But I need to stay calm. Just for now. If he knows I've seen them, he'll be more cautious of me.

"Although I have to say you were the last contestant I was expecting to stoop this low. Not only did you use your wings, but you completely forfeited the game by leaving the maze! For shame, Sir James. For shame." Well, what do you know about shame, you freak show?

The drinking glass, sunglasses, and hammock vanish in flashes of gray light while he is levitating himself to his feet. "I was hoping this game would go on a bit longer, but it seems you've decided to make it end in failure." He is lifting his hand into the air while keeping his fingers ready to snap. "I was really hoping you'd hold out a bit longer before calling it off. How disappointing. But regardless, it looks like I..."

I just threw up my hand, silently telling him to halt. I know just what to say to make him shut up. "Before you end the game, what was the second rule again?"

Now he just looks annoyed. Good. Now to get under his skin. "You forgot? I thought it was obvious. Everypony must participate and if anypony quits the game or cheats, then everypony loses."

"And what does that make me, Sherlock?" I balk at him with a smirk. Yeah, let's see how he likes it when I get defiant. My armor is immune to his quirky magic, so he can't do squat to me.

"What does that make you?! What kind of question is that?! I said everypony has to... Everypony has..." Now he's catching on to what he said. Silly Equestrian lingo. That look of utter bamboozlement... If he had worded that rule a little differently, I would not have as much control over this situation. All thanks to a slip of the tongue. "Every... Pony..." And now his jaw and hand drops to the ground like ropes of taffy. I have to say that got a laugh out of me.

"That's right, numb nuts! The rules don't apply to me because I'm not a pony. The game's still on." Now he can't call the thing off. He's not going anywhere while the game is still going on in the labyrinth. Even if the contestants don't give a flying feather about it anymore.

One yank of his tail and his jaw and arm retract back into their previous locations. And now he's just holding his head in his hand while grumbling quite loudly. "Confounded loopholes..." And now he's looking at me with that irritated defeated glare. But... What's with that look he's giving me now? "Uh... Is something wrong with the emblem on your helmet? I thought it was white when I last saw it."

White? Emblem... The Element of Humanity? A quick look at my helmet's forehead section reveals... Well, this is weird... It's gray. The twin doves now have hooked tail feathers that curve downward... And wings of blades. For some reason, it gives me the mental image of falcons. Tch, like it matters. Not like it's going to be of any help here. It's useless on its own. Only one thing matters to me now. "News to me. No clue what it means."

Now with my helmet back on, it's time to lay the trap. "Besides, the whole reason I'm out here is because that lame excuse of a game in there is boring as hell. I was going to pass out from boredom if I didn't get outta there!"

Now, before he can say anything, time to lay the bait. "But if you're interested, I know a much more exciting and fulfilling game."

Discord is starting to look quite offended by those words. "Boring? A game created by a master of entertainment... Boring?! You must be off your rocker! A scavenger hunt through the wonkiest labyrinth you will ever see! How is that boring?!"

Good. I'm frustrating him now. Better keep pushing it. "Two words. It is. And wonkiest? Where are the giant piranha plants? Where are the confetti fountains? Where are the dogs that shoot bees at you when they bark?! There's nothing wonky about that maze! But I have a much more enjoyable game in mind. And I can promise you it's not a game you've ever played because it's native to where I come from."

That's it. Now he's looking a bit more intrigued. "A game from the world you come from, eh? A game I have never taken part in before? Do go on, Sir James. Enlighten me."

Nope. Can't tell him just yet. Need to get him to bite on the hook. "Can't tell you yet. Either you agree to play or you don't. I'm not telling you more until you promise to play."

"Really? Kid, just because I love games more than I love my favorite paper and glue casserole doesn't mean I'll just blindly dive into any offer for fun. You'll have to do better than that. Tell me what this 'game' entails and I'll think about it." Huh... So he's wilier than I expected. Well, all right, I suppose I did expect him to get suspicious. But now to really lure him in.

"You know, I never would've taken you for a coward. I was expecting the immortal unstoppable Spirit of Chaos himself to be a bit bolder. But judging by your body's structure, I suppose you probably do have some chicken in you somewhere. No wonder you're such a cowardly ponce." He sure doesn't seem to be liking that. Now for just a bit more pushing. Turn to walk back towards the maze and... "Fine. I'll just get back to playing this boring scavenger hunt and leave you here to nurse your balls. Call me when you're in the mood for some real fun."

I can hear him growling and grunting behind me. He must be tearing himself apart trying to decide whether or not to give in and take the bait. Not that he knows it is bait. Ah, there's a bright gray flash of light in front of me. And there he is and boy, does he look desperate. "All right, fine! I'll play this mystery game with you! The Spirit of Chaos never turns down an opportunity for some more exotic fun!"

Excellent. Oh, I can feel a smirk spreading across my lips. That's right; just follow me right into the lion's den. "Good. Just so you know, you can't back out now. Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure! Does this look unsure to you?!" That face... Must...not...laugh...

All right then. Time to lay down the game board. "All right, I see that! OK then. This game that we're gonna be playing is called the 'Ultimate Game'. And it can only be played between two contestants."

Now he's looking pretty intrigued. "Ah, I see. A little mano-a-mano. And an 'Ultimate' game? I like it. Tell me more."

"Oh, it's called the Ultimate Game for a very good reason. There is no other game out there where victory is more satisfying. And unlike most games that are played for just fun, this one always has a spectacular prize for the victor. That's why it's called the 'Ultimate Game'." Heheh, I'm actually starting to feel pretty pumped. I feel my blood boiling. Oh, Discord. If only you knew what I have in store for you. All you have to do now is just play along.

The way he's stroking his little goat beard with his hand. He's really liking the sound of what I'm saying. "Ultimate entertainment. And a prize, you say? Ooh, I'm liking the sound of this more and more. Is there anything we need? Can we play it right here?"

Here, huh? Well... Let's see. "Hmm... This place is pretty expansive. May as well go over the rules... Wait a second." The royal palace isn't too far away. Someone could easily look out the window and see what's going on. I can't allow that. If the royal sisters catch wind of what's about to happen, they might intervene. And I can't have them get in the way. All three of them could easily overwhelm me. "Well, it might be best if we keep the royal family from finding out about this. The Ultimate Game always gets really intense. You got a way for us to keep them from seeing or hearing anything that goes on out here?"

Now Discord's looking all the more fired up about this. "A game so fun that we can't let them find out?! Oh, those are the best kinds of games! Just leave this to me!" He just flew up at the edge of the courtyard and conjured up an artist's palette, a black beret, and a paintbrush. "If they can't be allowed to see anything out of the ordinary, then they'll only see the ordinary!"

What the... That paintbrush just grew a hundred times larger after he dabbed some paint on it. And now he's making huge and broad strokes every which way. I think I can see the liquid disappearing as he smears it over nothing up there. A minute later and he comes back down. "There we go! I just painted a lovely view of this place. No matter what changes on this side, they will only see how the place looked right now. Oh, and I also made it soundproof. They won't hear a thing that happens on this side of the mirage."

So this is a soundproof area now? Good. That means no one will be able to hear him scream... "Nicely done. Now then, the rules. The most important part of the rules for this game is that both contestants play on equal ground. Let's see... You have wings and I have wings. You can use magic and I can use magic. You have legs, I have legs and so on. In terms of base physical abilities, we're pretty evenly matched... What are you looking at?"

Discord seems to be eyeing our surroundings. "Aha! I know just how to liven up the playfield. I'll be just a moment." With a snap of his fingers... Chunks of the ground start rising up with whatever was on them. By this point, nothing he does surprises me. Just roll with it. A few trees and even some of the statues get lifted into the air too with varying degrees of altitude. Some of the ground out here has gone from grassy to checkerboard patterns of pink and purple. It's like seeing something out of a surreal storybook or animated film from decades past. Considering the surrealism of the place... Things are going to get really twisted once we finally get started.

Now he turns to me and smiles excitedly. "Much better, wouldn't you say? Nothing spices up a game quite like a bit of random chaotic placement of the environment."

"I won't argue with that..." Huh? Looks like he just had another idea since he suddenly interrupted me.

"Oh, wait! Even better! Why don't we get an audience to watch this Ultimate Game? It's always better with an audience." An audience? He doesn't mean...

"Who? You mean the girls out there?" I glance over at the blocked entrance to the hedge maze nearby. I know all six of them are still in there. Most likely just going about consumed by their vices.

"Well, who else did you think I meant? I'm sure your friends would like to get some entertainment too. They can afford to put off searching for the Elements for a short while." He is saying that so casually... Friends? What friends? Those six dreadful mares out there? They're not my friends anymore, scumbag. You made sure of that.

"Sure. I guess they can watch..." Whatever. They can watch or they can just keep walking. What, is he going to set up some televisions in the maze for them to watch like a game show?

"Excellent. Just give me a moment and I'll get them set up." And up Discord goes before looking towards the sky after snapping his fingers... Was that some sort of flash of light in one or more sections of the far-off segments of the labyrinth?

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything, my little ponies! Can you see me?! Um... Is this thing on? OK. I'm sure you girls must be getting worn out from searching all over the labyrinth by now, so pull up a seat and grab some popcorn because Sir James and I have quite a treat for you! For the moment, the game you are playing is on hold. And instead, I give to you the Ultimate Game! The contestants are myself and Sir James down there. We will..." He is just going on and on without even talking to anything as if there is an invisible camera floating in front of him...

That little... All right, now I'm pissed. "Hey, retard! Are you trying to piss me off?! Get back down here!"

Seems I startled him a bit. This wrath is getting to me... Hang on a bit longer. Don't lose it yet. You'll get your chance to rip him a new one. And now he's fluttering back down to me. "Sheesh, temper, temper. I'm just as eager to get started as you, but there's no need to yell. Now then, was there anything else we needed to discuss before we get started?"

Finally, I almost have him right where I want him. "Yeah. Like I said, we need to play on equal ground. We can both fly, use magic, and so forth. However, I'm sorry to say that as you are now, you are ineligible to play this game. Sorry, Discord."

"I'm... WHAT?! You keep going on and on about how this is the 'ultimate' game and I can't even play it?! Why?! You better have a good reason for this! If not, you had best prepare for the most unpleasant pillow fight of your life." And now a bunch of pillows flash up out of nowhere behind him. Man, now Discord just looks ticked off. Heh, just a little more. I've almost got him by the broken balls.

"The reason why you're not eligible to play this game is because this is a game that is exclusive to mortals. Something that you're not." And... Whoa. He actually looks quite bummed out. And there go the pillows.

"You're serious? Only mortals can play this? So... I'll never be able to experience for myself the thrill and excitement of the Ultimate Game?" Man, he's actually taking it pretty hard! Why?! This guy can do anything!

Is this idiot really not able to think outside the box? "What're you talking about?! You're the Spirit of Chaos! You can twist anything to your will! Of course you can play! You just need to make yourself mortal!"

"And how am I supposed to do that?! I'm practically a god here! I can't be mortal!" Now he seems rather frustrated. Good. Now I just need to give him one more little push.

"How do you do that? Last I checked, you can even alter your own body. Remove your immortality. It's that simple." Honestly, how has he not yet considered that?

That look he's giving me... He looks utterly baffled. "Remove...my immortality? I can do that?"

"Have you seriously never once considered that? Go on. Try it. Surely you must be able to do that." Come on, I'm this close. Just a little more.

He...smiles. "I don't know... Let's see if I can." He just...unzipped a section of his chest and reached inside. "Let's see... There's my favorite bugle, my moustache for fisticuffs... Ooh, I just love the fabric they use for those officer uniforms. I really should try that on again sometime. That feels like... Whoa, can't remove my heart. Oh wait, I suppose I can. Wait... What's this?"

Seems he's got something. He's pulling his hand out and... Is that it? A glowing pulsing orb of ethereal light rests in his palm. "That's...your immortality?" I must confess... It's beautiful. Never thought I would see something like that come out of such a wretched being of a person.

Why is he just staring at it like that? He almost looks...forlorn. His ears are drooped. He's not saying anything. I want him to just lock that thing away, but I can't act hasty. Need to be civil for the moment. "So...this is it." He just conjured up an iron strong box and placed it inside, but has not closed it. And...what was that he just muttered? "I wish I knew I could do this a long time ago."

Well, whatever. He seems to have perked up now. "All right then! Now that I'm mortal... Say, what IS the prize for winning this game anyway? Is it anything good?"

Man, I am so glad he asked that. "Can't tell you. Not until the game has started."

"All right, now you're pushing it, kid! What're you up to?!" Crap. Seems he's starting to catch on. Need to word this carefully.

"Me? Nothing. I'm just trying to increase the thrill by keeping you guessing. Nothing wrong with a little teasing, right? And besides, you're going to need to lock away more than just that little thing there." I hope he buys that.

Seems to be working. He looks a bit thoughtful, but also amused. "Heh, I should've known you had a cheeky side. I like that in a player. All right then, what else do I need to put away for the duration of the game?"

"Well, as I said, we must play on equal ground. You can fly like I can and we can both use magic. But there is only one spell I have mastered. The basic levitation spell." And now to demonstrate. I snatch him up with a magic golden yellow aura that matches the one covering my right gauntlet and spin him around in the air for a second before setting him back down on his feet. "See? The only spell I can do flawlessly."

Looks like he got a bit dizzy from that one. But he seems amused nonetheless. "Whoahoho, I didn't know you could do that! So, those gauntlets work like a unicorn's horn. But wait... Do I seriously need to lock away ALL of the magic I know that you haven't mastered yet?"

Heh, the guy has one foot in the trap now. One more step and he's mine. "I'm afraid so. But trust me, it's worth it. Winning the Ultimate Game fair and square is far more satisfying than winning it by foul means. You're gonna get a serious kick out of it if you play with the necessary handicap."

"Restrictions do add to the thrill, don't they?" Now he gets it. The guy is reaching into his chest opening and pulling out glowing orb of light after glowing orb of light. "There's the turn things flat as paper spell, there's the drink glass like water spell, there's the do anything you want spell..."

How many types of magic does this guy have in there? I think I've been waiting close to five minutes by now... And is that box bottomless? Did this guy take storage lessons from Merlin or something? "And done! Only the levitation spell is left. Anything else?"

"Just one more thing. The box has to stay locked until the game ends. It cannot be opened until it's over. And if it is opened, you lose instantly." Come on... Lock that sucker and you're mine.

"Will do. Just let me fish that spell out of there for a moment... All right. And... Ready. Just let me put it back in." And...done. That box has been closed and locked. Just to be sure, I take it and try to open it myself. "Ah ah, it won't open. Not until one of us has been declared a victor."

Finally... Time to begin. I place the box in the gap in his chest and he zips himself up. "So then, Sir James... Does that mean the game has started?"

"Yes... Yes, it has. And now I can tell you what the prize is." I feel tension rising... He is finally in my grasp. "Truth be told, the Ultimate Game gets its name because the prize the victor receives is the single most valuable possession one can ever acquire."

I start to walk away from him to give us a little more space to get started. And now he sounds like an excited kid in a candy store. I would wager that if he still had the magic to do so, he would be cycling through a bunch of outfits to match the stuff he is saying. "The most valuable thing one can have?! What is it? Power? Wealth? All the chaos and entertainment one can handle?"

I stop fifty paces away. Time to cast this friendly façade off. He's mine. "Life."

He sounds baffled by what I just said. "Huh? Sorry, I didn't quite catch that. What do you mean by 'life' being the prize?"

I glance over my pauldron at him. No need to hide my wrath any longer. He just took a step back. He can see the rage in my eyes. "The prize for winning the ultimate game is the right to live. It has the ultimate prize. And the ultimate punishment. The victor is given the right to live while the loser is robbed of that right. One lives. One dies. That's all there is to it."

That look of silent terror in those eyes... Heh. He knows he's in trouble. "Now, hold on a minute! What's this about?! I agreed to the Ultimate Game, not a life or death duel! What do you have against me?!"

That little... "I saw what you did to them, Discord. My friends are gone and a bunch of wretched horrible people took their place. The most important people in my life don't even exist anymore."

"You saw... You mean I missed it?! Even after all that popcorn I prepared?!" No remorse at all... He doesn't even care... That's it! I'm done beating around the bush!

http://youtu.be/68I3j2luW64

I draw my sword. And Discord is backing away from me. Rightfully so. He knows he's in for hell. "And you don't even see what's wrong with that?! First rule of logic, punk. You don't ever take away what gives a man's life meaning when that man has the power to bring you to your knees!"

It's time. I'm charging him now as fast as my enchanted armor will carry me with sword out to my side. This sucker's mine! He's backing away. He almost doesn't seem sure if I'm just messing around with him or am really gonna pop his head off. "Whoa, easy there! I'm not..."

Oh, shut up and fight! "What's wrong?! Not used to being the one at a disadvantage?! If you don't wanna die here, do something about it!"

I come in swinging while he uses his wings to back away in terror. I hear the wind whistle as my blade cleaves through the air. I can hardly believe how swiftly I swing my sword... Left, right, up, down. Has it really been that long since I last held the Celestial Sword in my hand?

Retreating out of range? I don't think so! I detach the Lunar Shield and hurl it at him with levitation. And bam! Right in the middle of the body! "Oof! What the... Ow!" Pinned to a statue. You're mine, scum!

I flap my wings for a boost in speed and height and bring my sword down. But... The little twat slithered out of there before I could hit him! The sword cleaves right through the statue with no problem at all before the two halves fall to the sides and hit the ground in two heavy thuds. It was one of the statues of a pony holding a scroll. Reattach the shield to my arm... And Discord is over there looking at the statue's remains. I know what he's thinking. He can't believe a metal sword can cleave through stone like paper. And he's wondering what would have happened if he was the one who got slashed instead. I point my sword at him and scowl as fiercely as I can. "You see this? That's what you're gonna look like in a little bit."

He isn't even trying to talk to me. But I still don't think he knows he's in any real danger. I bet it's been a long time since he last felt any pain, if ever. "What's wrong? Not used to being mortal? Not used to being vulnerable to injury? Not used to being unable to fight back?"

Oh, now he says something. "I never agreed to this! I quit! I...ugh..." He clutches his chest. I think the lock box inside him is trying to remind him of something. And I can't help but smirk.

"Hey, I told you the rules. One lives. One dies. You forfeit, you lose. And that means you die. And you don't wanna die, do you?" I feel so in control with him cowering before me while I walk towards him, it's not even funny. You're playing by my rules now, Discord. And there's no way in hell I'm letting you beat me now. Not when all I have left is the desire to bring you down!

Looks like he still thinks he can weasel his way out of this. What a coward! Backed into a corner and he isn't even trying to fight back! "No, I don't! Come on, there has to be a way for us to get outta this without the other croaking!"

Well, if he has to ask... I guess there is one way then. "You're right. There is. Both contestants can survive the game by forfeiting together. But that's not gonna happen, is it?!" He flies out of range just in time. And... Hey. Judging by those motions of his hands... Oh, I get it now. Finally starting to get into the game, is he?

A couple of the statues are starting to levitate. And here they come! Is he trying to bash me into submission? Either way, that stuff is too heavy for me to stop and I don't trust myself being able to cleave through those things without one of the halves crashing into me. My armor isn't perfect and anyone who knows plate armor knows that heavy smashing blows are its greatest weakness. That is why maces and war hammers work so well against them. My wings are making sure I don't get hit, but he keeps hurling them at me! Fine, let's try this!

I point my left hand at one of the incoming statues. Come on... I know I can do this. Focus... No, not ice... I need lightning! Come on! Unleash the thunder! And... There! A massive bolt of magical electrical energy just shot from my empty armored hand! And... Wow. It obliterated the statue of stone into countless chunks of rubble!

I knew it... I do have the power to take him down. Looks like those few magic training sessions are starting to pay off. And Discord... Oh, that look on his face. "What the...?! Hey! You said you had only mastered levitation!"

That's right. I did say that. "Heh... Yeah, I did say that was the only spell I mastered! But that doesn't mean it's the only spell I can use! In other words... You better stay on the move because I have no idea what I'm doing!"

That look on his face... Fear or frustration? "What? Not used to your opponent not playing fair? You're just as guilty as me, freak! Let's see how you like it! Dance!" Now he's shrieking like a little girl as I take potshots at him, bolts of magic lightning zipping past him while he weaves through the air like a flying snake. "Dance, sucker, dance! Oh, and think fast!"

I stab the Celestial Sword into the ground to get my right hand free. Now then... Heat... Fire... There it is! Surging flames! And I don't even feel the heat! Now to shoot the sucker down. Lightning and fire flying through the air while he struggles to stay on the move. Doing twists and flips and loops. I swear, I think he might actually be having a little bit of fun with this. I know I am! The guy is just a little bug to me that I'm trying to swat down. I have a god on the run... OK, maybe not an actual god, but close enough!

"Stand...still! You... Ah, screw this!" Forget the magic! I can't hit such a slippery target! Reattach my shield and grab my sword... Fine. I suppose this will be more satisfying anyway! "All right, have it your way!"

With a flap of my wings, I soar towards him. "No... No, get away from me!" Yeah, you better be scared! I go for his head, but he swoops away. But he can't escape! These wings are too responsive for him to get much distance. Swoop! Rise! Charge! Fine, I see direct strikes won't work either. Well... How about this then?

I hurl the Celestial Sword at him and use levitation to guide it. Now he's on the run again. Man, it's hard to make that thing fly right into him! I need to line up the blade just right! All right, time for something new... How do I... Focus... Just need to connect... There! A magic rope connected to my hand! The golden yellow chain connects to the sword's pommel! A whip with a blade on the end!

"Hey, sucker! Think fast!" With a swish of my hand, the rope swings the blade at him. Oh, that look of terror and those terrified shrieks... But still so hard to hit! With every long swing of the rope, he weaves around it! Now I'm swinging the rope over my head in continuous long circular sweeps, making subtle changes to the altitude. Good thing this thing isn't interfering with my wings. Again... And again... Fine. Time to get cheap.

"Get down!" I use the magic in my left hand to grab him with levitation and slam him into the floor down below. That definitely got him good! Now, time to close in! I drop to the ground and charge again. He's getting up... Not this time! I hurl my shield at him... There! Right in the face! Whoa, he looks dazed now. He can barely stand. Now's the time. I make a huge jump, using the wings for extra lift until I'm high above him and turning to my right. Now... Down I go and...

I swing down. I land with a knee bent with sword lowered. Did I hit anything? Something falls in front of me. Dark and leathery... And a spray of crimson fluid... Blood. His wing... I just severed his wing! And that sound... A scream of agony. I just... This guy is a true immortal, and yet... I just wounded... No, maimed him! And if I can make him bleed...I can make him die! "I can do this... I can win!!!"

Hobbling forward, grasping at where his wing once was, is he? Well, now I've got you! I jump and grab his other wing and clamp my legs around his slender middle. And now for the heart. My sword's blade. Over and over into his body! Where is it?! Where's his heart?! Or the lungs?! I can make him suffocate if I can puncture them! He wretches. He yells. He flails. I must have stabbed him...no, impaled him at least fifteen times now! All this blood... I would normally be horrified to be seeing this, but now...

"Aaaagh! Enough!" Huh?! He just reached to his left and grabbed my leg?! He's pulling hard... Trying to fling me off! Dang it, I lost my grip with my other leg! I'm only hanging on by his wing.... Crap! I can't reach his body very well from here! And how is he still this responsive after losing that much blood?! I know he locked away his immortality! This is one hardy guy...

He keeps pulling... But I'm not gonna let go now! Need to... This angle is too awkward... Fine! With one sweep of my sword, I sever his other wing! But the instant I do, he screams...and flings me hard back over to the hedge maze?! I'm careening through the air too fast to do anything! Oh man... Ow! Flipping and flopping over the walls and... Oof! That hurt... I'm down. Where... Huh? What's this here?

Some sort of huge mirror? It's just standing in the middle of the path. And... That's me. But instead of my reflection, it's showing me from behind. And standing a good distance behind me is...Applejack's replacement. "That's some of the lousiest brawlin' I've ever seen. The guy didn't even bleed! Guess it don't help that yer sword's make of applesauce and..."

"Shut it!" I smack her right across the face with the back of my gauntlet. That lying imposter... You're not Applejack. And she's down. Out cold. Now... Which way did I fall from... That way. To the south. I take to the air again and swoop over the labyrinth. Now that I know I can hurt him, I can... Huh?!

That little... A chunk of rubble the size of my head hurled right at me! That knocked me right outta the air... Man, that fall hurt again. Cheap shot... Well, what would you expect from that scumbag? He sounds like he's wheezing... He's in a lot of pain. Good. "You... You little monster! Why're you doing this to me?! I never tried to maim or torture you! This is going too far!"

I slowly climb to my knees... The adrenaline is starting to make me dizzy and my muscles ache. My sword... It's not entirely white anymore... The pure white blade... Stained red here and there. The faint glow turns crimson as it shines through the sticky liquid. Discord's blood... I actually managed to wound him... I can kill him... I hold his fate in my hands... The fate of a god... I can do whatever I want to him now.

http://youtu.be/gSogWHCaCTI

He erased the people who are most precious to me. All I have left is...a twisted desire I've never felt... All this wrath... And yet I feel...excited... Almost joyous that I know I can end this monster. His blood is on my sword... Even on a bit of my armor... I can end him... Make him suffer the way I am suffering... I want to see him plead and beg... Want to see him lie helpless at my feet.

I... I am going mad... And it feels so...liberating!

"Let's stop this! This isn't fun anymore! Come on, let's just call it off!" Still thinks he can weasel his way out? Well, not anymore. This is getting too fun to stop.

"Heh... Hehehee... Stop? Now? Why would I do that?" I am laughing so lightly... I don't even notice the pain anymore... I am pumped. I slowly stagger to my feet, my body hunched forward with sword lowered. "You... Hee... You have...no idea what you did to me in there... Do you?"

He just jumped back right as I lifted my head to look at him. Yeah, you know you're screwed now. Huh? Why's he pointing at me? "Your emblem... It's... Glowing..."

The Element of Humanity again? Might as well check it first. There's a part of the Celestial Sword that's still white. And it's pretty reflective. Maybe if I... Well, what's this? It's not gray or white. It's...black. The two sides don't even really match anymore. Lots of ruffled uneven feathers on the wings and tails. And on the heads... Tiny slit little sinister glowing crimson eyes. Ravens. The bird of death... How fitting. "Well, that makes sense now, doesn't it? Where ravens fly, death follows."

There's blood oozing from so many impalement wounds on both sides of his long slender body. Such a vibrant crimson coating... Looks pretty good in it, to be honest. And he's still alive? "Heh... Heheh... Did anyone ever tell you that you look really really good in red?"

"This... This isn't like you... What's happening to you? I saw you not that long ago... You were quiet. Reserved. Gentle... That look in your eyes... It's...hungry..." He's fearful... Frightened, yet unsure of what to make of me. That's good. The more fear, the better.

I guess I may as well tell it to him straight. I suppose he deserves at least that much. "What's wrong with me? Oh, I dunno. I mean, you should be asking yourself. You made me this way after all, stretch. You broke me, Discord. But probably not in the way you were planning, huh? Seriously, I feel like everything in my head is starting to fall apart cog by turning cog. Hehee... And I have you to thank for it. Because..." A little lick of my blade... Weird... That blood tastes a bit...tangy? I wonder what the rest of him tastes like. "To be honest... I'm feeling pretty good right now."

What's this? No wisecracking? No funny quips? No words about chaos? He's just slowly backing away with that look of silent terror in his eyes. I wonder why... Oh, now I know! He knows he's dug his own grave. And he knows he's been backed into a corner. He knows his doom is nigh. Well, the first act just finished. Let's step it up to the next one! "Well... Hehehee... Enough stalling, mate. Put your game face on, Discord. It's go time!"

Oh sure, NOW he starts running! "Hey! I said put your game face on, nutjob! I didn't say run! Now get back here! I'm hungry!" I swear that blood tasted like oranges! Blood oranges, to be precise. Now if I can just get close enough to take another swing. "Your blood tastes sweet and tangy! What else you got in there?! Got any chicken?! Maybe some sushi?! What about some tacos?! Or... Yes! Crab! Got any of... Hey! Get back here, you runaway deli mart! I know you got some crab in there somewhere!"

"You're crazy you're crazy you're crazy you're crazy!" Well, I wonder what his first guess was? Ah, screw these legs. Wings away!

I swoop ahead and get right in front of him. "Hey, that's how you like things, right? Besides, you made me this way, you crazy bastard! So that means we're both a couple of loonies right now! Just the way you like it, right?"

Why do I talk instead of splitting him in two? Oh, now I remember. I don't want this game to end just yet! Wait... Are those... His wings! Those will do nicely! "Oh, excuse me for a second. I see a snack that could use some roasting."

Just use a little levitation to bring those over to me. Huh? Ooh, I'm really REEEEAAALLYYYY liking that pleading look in his eyes. "Please... Give them back... Those are MY wings!"

"Dude, you know you don't have the magic to put these back on right now. Remember? I don't remember being a master of a reattachment spell for severed limbs. But OK, I'll let you have them back. But only when I'm done with them!" I stab my sword into the ground to get a hand free and then spray those wings with a gout of concentrated fire. Oh wow, that look in Discord's eyes. Watching his pretty little wings being roasted to a crisp right in front of him.

Looks like he's got nothing to say aside from some pretty pathetic whimpering. And... Mmm, what a tasty aroma. Roasted draconequus wings! I singed the feathers right off the other, but the one that looks like a batwing doesn't seem to have much meat on it! Oh well, might as well take what I can get. Nom! Mmm... Not much there, but what is there... Yummy. "Wow... You make for some good eating, Discord. You sure you don't have some crab in there to go with this? Or what about some lobster?"

Hmm... That look of horror and despair. Heh, never thought I'd see him get that attached to something he has probably popped off his body for fun at one point. "What's the matter, Disco Dude? You want some? Well, since you probably have some dog in there somewhere, roll over and play dead and then I'll pass you some... Oh, wait! Scratch the play part!" I grab the Celestial Sword up in my left hand and give him a super happy grin! "I'll help you really be dead! Then you can have all the Discord wing meat you want!"

And... There he goes? Now he's just crying like a baby while he flees in terror. Aw, the poor widdle Spirit of Chaos crying because I won't share my yummy wummy food with him because he wouldn't play dead? Oh well, more for me!

It was kind of tricky getting that meat off with the bits of feather quills still stuck in the skin... Huh. And here I was expecting his bones to be made of cake or something edible. Now then, where to find that loony? Maybe I can spot him from the air. Up I go and... Is he seriously thinking he can hide behind one of those purple bushes there? He didn't even bother to hide his tail plume! Might as well give him a bit of punishment for it. Conjure up a little ball of fire... Hey, Celestia was right! This magic isn't that tough to use at all! And fire! I mean launch the fireball, not just fire. And it hits his tail. Doesn't look like he notices yet. "Hey, Disco Dome! I'd like to place an order for some fried draconequus tail! You have an extra crispy recipe?!"

Now he sticks his head up and lets out a delightful little shriek when he sees the flames. And he's running and prancing all over while leaving a trail of smoke in his wake. Oh man, I need to laugh! This is turning into the most fun I've had in ages!

"Put it out! Put it out, I beg you!" He BEGS me? Well, how can I say no to that? I drop down in front of him and he's stomping his feet over and over like a little kid who really needs to make tinkle.

I do have to wonder how much it hurts to be on fire, but looks like he's in quite a bit of discomfort. Oh, wait! Need to do something first! "Just a sec!" Now to meditate... Use levitation to keep myself in the air while grasping sword in both hands and keeping the blade held vertical. Eyes closed... Be one with the discourse...

"Come on, hurry up! This really hurts, you know!" Such a shame I can't open my eyes, but he sounds like he's constantly fidgeting in pain.

"Do you mind? I'm trying to do the crab cake. It's a very delicate state of mind. Maybe you've heard of the fish stick too?" I try and try to explain to him that I need to keep focusing... OK, not really. I'm just drawing out his pain to see how long it takes for the fire to spread to the rest of him... And it sounds like it didn't take long!

"Aggggh!!! Put it out!" Whoa, now he's a living torch!

Sheesh, all this yelling... "Ugh, walking messes of patchwork. Nag nag nag!" I stick my left hand at him and whoosh! Instant blizzard! A few seconds later and... Ooh, nice! A perfectly preserved prehistoric draconequus! And the ice hasn't even begun to melt! And it looks like the fire's been snuffed out.

"Hey! Discord! You still alive in there? I don't get, you alive or what?!" Knock knock. You awake? I know you're incased in a frigid chilly layer of magic ice, but I'm pretty sure a hardy psycho like you is still surviving in there. I'll just fly up to your face. Waving my hand... Yup! His eyes are still tracking me. Seems his teeth were clenched when he got the cold shoulder. Or maybe I should call it the cold...everything.

"Can't move? Hang on, I'll get you out." Not. I'm still feeling a bit hungry and... Ooh, what's this behind him? A nice big slab of dragon tail ripe for thawing. I always wondered what reptilian meat tastes like.

That ice casing sure is creaking a lot. Trying to look behind himself, huh? "Hey! What're you doing back there?!"

I raise my sword and... Oh, brilliant idea! "Pop quiz! What has two eyes, two horns, two arms, two legs, and no tail?"

Wait for it... "Um... A tailless deer?"

Seriously? He's too apprehensive to even try to be his usual goofy self with a really witty response? If that's not a good sign, I don't know what is. I guess I'd be too if I had a mad butcher on the other side of a shell of ice that was covering me. Anyway... Eeeeennnhhh! Wrong answer! "Nope! The answer is... YOU!" And down goes the Celestial Sword and off goes the tail! What the...?! Yikes, he just busted out of his icy shell while screaming in agony! Guess that dose of pain gave him the incentive and boost of adrenaline to break loose!

"Hey, Discord! Looks like you got a little leak at the other end! Better call a plumber! You want me to put a good word in with the Big M for you?" I wonder what that blood tastes like? Maybe strawberry syrup? Anyway, better get roasting. So convenient to use my right hand as a stovetop.

Now, where did... Oh, he's ducking behind one of those statues. "What's wrong with you?! You don't do that!" Aww, the big boo hoo baby's crying to see his tail being roasted before him?

"Oh, quit looking at me like that! You know that if you win, you'll be able to restore all your lost limbs with a snap of your fingers!" And now for the first bite... Mmm, that's some good eating. Not sure what it tastes like. It could be the taste of baboon butt, for all I know! "Of course, that's a pretty unlikely IF by this point."

Man, Discord is just cowering there behind that statue. I bet he's wondering which part of him I'm gonna chomp on next. Well, lucky for him I'm starting to feel pretty satisfied... Hang on... What's that doing there? Never noticed it before. It's right behind me. Hmmm... Maybe if I lift it up on an angle a bit...

"What're you... Whoa, what's going... Ack!" Whoa! I felt that! I just tilted the camera angle and the shift of gravity caused the statue to topple onto him! So this is what it's like to look through the eyes of Pinkie Pie! I see little things here and there I never noticed before. And... Uh oh, he's not getting up, is he?

"Uh... Discord?! Discord duuude?! Disco Duck?! You still alive?!" .....No response. Well, I already plucked this thing clean, so I'll toss what's left of the bones. Better get over and check to see if he's OK. "Don't you die on me, man! I'm not done with you yet!"

A little levitation should get that thing off of him. And... Uh oh. He's not moving. "Are you dead? Uh... You're still alive, right? Come on, it's no fun messing with a corpse! You're still breathing... Right?"

He's not responding! Oh man, oh man, oh man... Come on, Discord! You can't be dead yet! Uh... Wait. He's... He's still breathing! Phew, close one! But... How to wake him up?

Hmm... Ohohoho, I got it. I hope that fur on his face adds enough cushioning for what I'm about to do. Wouldn't wanna break anything.....yet! I'll just prop myself over the base of his neck. A little slappy slap treatment should wake him up. "Oh Discooooo. Time to wake uuuuuuup!"

One! Two! One! Two! Back and forth! "Rise and shine, skinny! Up and at 'em! Oh, that's how we're gonna do this, huh?! Fine then."

"THAT'S for being tall!"

"THAT'S for never writing to say hi or introduce yourself!"

"THAT'S for being stuck in stone instead of diamonds!

"THAT'S for using a mariachi band instead of Michael Jackson's backup dancers!"

"THAT'S for never shaving!"

"THAT'S for never getting your eyes fixed... HEY! WHY! WON'T! YOU! WAKE! UP?! WAKE UP!!!"

"THAT'S for being a total douche!"

"THAT'S for turning the most important people in my life into douches!"

"THAT'S for turning me into the biggest douche!"

"THAT'S to check if you've woken up yet! But I guess not..."

"THAT'S for not having any crab in you!"

"THAT'S to check if the reader is still scrolling down to see what I say next!"

"THAT'S for making me like you...!"

"THAT'S for making me hate you!"

"THAT'S for getting floored by Sisko, you pussy! Keep your left up! Jab with your right!"

"THAT'S for never showing me how to do the moonwalk!"

"THAT'S because my wrist's getting tired!"

"THAT'S to jack up the chapter's word count!"

"THAT'S for kicking me in the balls! Oh wait, that was you, not me..."

"THAT'S because the little voice of reason is telling me to stop, but this feels soooooo good that I don't wanna!"

"THAT'S for having no symmetry!"

"THAT'S for not tasting like chicken!"

"THAT'S because I felt like it!"

"THAT'S to see if the readers haven't chickened out and left yet!"

"THAT'S for playing a bugle instead of a saxophone. EVERYBODY PREFERS SMOOTH JAZZ!!!"

"THAT'S for turning the clouds into cotton candy instead of real cotton!"

"THAT'S for making it rain chocolate milk instead of root beer!"

"THAT'S for making the corn turn into popcorn. WITHOUT THE BUTTER!!!"

"THAT'S for not getting a good night's sleep last night!"

"THAT'S for letting Nightmare Moon get such a cheap shot on you, ya pansy!"

"THAT'S because you made the cake a lie!"

"THAT'S for turning all those poor beavers into gold! Wait, that wasn't you..."

"THAT'S for all that haters who're getting pissed off reading this!"

"THAT'S because I'm getting bored!"

"THAT'S for being the ponciest ponce to ever ponce past the poncing parlor!"

"THAT'S because looking at your ugly mug makes me wanna slap you!"

"THAT'S for all the hot pegasisters who're reading this! Hey, be sure to comment!"

"THAT'S for having more fans than me!"

"THAT'S for never making my former friends laugh!"

"THAT'S for making ME laugh!"

"THAT'S to see how long I can pad out this scene!"

"THAT'S for forgetting to bring a saw with you before you started sawing logs!"

"And finally... THAT'S for making me add almost two whole extra pages to one of the best Human in Equestria stories on the Internet!"

........Iiiiiiiieeeeeeeee guess he's not waking up. Sheesh, the guy's a heavier sleeper than my mom. Any heavier and he'd condense himself into a neutron star. Well... Guess I'll just have to wake him up the...fun way. Hehehee...

One little orb of compacted fire here... And another here... And another and another and another... All right, I'll shut up now. Now I've got a whole bunch of flickering fire 'bombs' set up all around him. I better get some distance first. That statue looks sturdy enough to weather a blast. Oh good gravy, I'm giddy as a schoolgirl.

Still not awake, is he? Well, he's about to experience the world's most effective alarm clock! "Bon yoyage, mon cheri." And BOOM!!!

Up he goes, flipping and spiraling through the air while leaving a trail of smoke... Oh, that woke him up! Now he's screaming while he falls a good fifty feet or so. And... Ow. That looks like it hurt. "Hey, Discoooorrrrddd!!!"

And now he's looking at me in terror. Oh god, I can only imagine how big I'm grinning. "Are we done?!"

Now he's clamoring to his feet while looking more bent outta shape than a thousand bendy straws. "Wha... What are you?! You're madder than a hatter!" Hey, he finally said something witty! Good show, Discord!

"Me?! What am I?! Well, I guess you can call me...Tooty Fruity!"

And now he just gives me one long silent stare. "Uh... Tooty Fru..."

"But only if you're partial to me using your pelt for a rug and having a mad swordsman skip rope with your entrails! And I'm betting you've got some looooong entrails!" Good thing I interrupted him before he could finish, or else I'd have to kill him on the spot! But now... Focus just a little... There we go! Teleported right over to him! Still just a little dizzy... But now I'll just rest my elbow on his side. Oh sure, now he notices me there. "But yep! I'm madder than a hatter who's been splattered on a platter who makes a mess of your bladder. But hey, you can't complain! You made me this way! And I'm having the most fun I've had in... Well, since I was in diapers! What about you, big guy? You having fun yet? Are you?! Because I know I am!"

He's terrified. Absolutely petrified. He can't even move away from me. Guess I better break the ice. I'll just point the fingers on my right hand at him. "First idiot to die a fiery death says what."

That look... Once again, the little fool is too baffled by my words. And he'll say the magic word in three...two... "Uuuuh.... Wha..."

"POW!!!" And boom! Big burst of fire right into him and sending him sprawling! Looks like he's still in one piece too! "You are... Oh, you aren't dead! That's a big surprise!"

Aw, now he actually looks pretty tired. Bleeding and singed all over. Seems he's even struggling to bring himself to his feet. "This... This madness in your eyes... I get it now... You're in pain."

Me? Pain? Ha! "Pain?! Quit fooling yourself, Discord! I'm having a blast here! The most fun I've had in... Oh, I already told you that!"

And he's still trying to talk to me? "You can't fool me! I know it's all just a façade! I know you're still torn apart inside! And I can help you!"

OK, what is going through this guy's head? Better bring my sword back over to my hand just in case. Offering to help me? The only thing this loser's good at helping with is helping mess you up. A little point in his direction should remind him who's in charge here. "You? Help me? OK, I'll humor you. Talk."

He's starting to look more...confident. He's got something up his sleeve. "I know the game required that I lock away every bit of magic that you can't use, but... Well, I hid one little type of magic away just in case. The magic I would've used to corrupt you at the first chance I got. And here's what I'm getting at. I know you're in pain. I know how dear your friends were to you. Well, I can take away that pain, if you'll let me."

My friends... I... There's no denying it. I do feel a bit of pain in my heart. It's all but buried in the fun and enjoyment I've been using to drown it, but...it's still there. My friends are gone forever. I know that much. But if that pain can be erased... "You would do that for me?"

That smirk... He's luring me in. But it's so hard to turn down... "If I know you as well as I suspect I do, I would say that your complete opposite is a truly apathetic individual. Let me free you and you will never have enough caring to feel pain ever again. We'll be able to call this ridiculous game off and we'll go our separate ways. What do you say?"

He's just trying to save himself. But still... Now I feel the pain rising again... Fine. Anything to get rid of this agony before it becomes unbearable. I stab my sword into the ground beside me and rest my hand on the pommel. "Agreed... Get over here and do it."

"With pleasure." He might be in pain, but he's clearly confident. That offer is so hard to refuse... But at least now, I'll be free of the pain. No point in holding onto memories of those who no longer exist.

He stands before me, my head bowed. "Just remove the helmet and get it over with..."

I can see out of the corner of my eye. He's reaching for my head. "Trust me, Sir James. You won't regret this."

"If I may... One last word before I lose myself?" He at least can spare me that much.

He still seems confident and smug. Definitely looks in control. "Very well. Let's hear it."

.....You didn't really think I was gonna just throw in the towel like that, did you? "Discord... You..." And now to throw off that deceptively glum expression. "You're such...a gullible retard!"

I grasp my sword in a reverse grip and swing upward! The poor fool didn't have any hope of getting away in time. A perfect vertical cleave up the middle of that slender body. And the sound of his shriek of agony... Oh, that is satisfying. He staggers away, fresh blood oozing from the long slit in his front. I just hope that locked box stays in there. That look of terror and frustration. Is he gonna start fighting back now? I'd love to at least see him TRY to struggle against a superior opponent! "You... Why?! I can take away your pain if you let me! Why're you still insisting on going through with this...barbaric excuse of a game?! It's not fun at all!"

"Why?" I hold my arms out to my sides and give him a more subdued smirk. May as well tell it like it is. "Discord... There's no tomorrow for us. So let's enjoy this last little bit of entertainment for as long as we can, all right?"

http://youtu.be/Arpdj-LhKIw

Oh goodie... That look of horror and despair in his eyes. It's finally sinking in. He knows there is no way out. I'm not calling this game off for anything. I'm not letting him escape. Not alive, at least! But let's see just how much more fun I can get out of this little bug before I finally squash him. "Still don't get it? Then let me say it in a way you'll understand..." I call the Lunar Shield back over to me and let it affix itself to my left arm. Now I'm ready. "I'm gonna mount you on my fireplace wall!"

Huh? He's flying backwards and up? How?! I fried and ate both of his wings! He... Oh, I get it. Self-levitation. Well, it's cool that he's getting the most outta what he has. "You know what? Go ahead. I'll give you a thirty second head start."

Oh my, what's with that look? He's looking pissed! Trying to stir up some courage, huh? "You... Do you have any idea who you're toying with?! I am Discord! The true master of chaos! And you're just a flimsy little human in a tin can! Go ahead! Take my wings and my tail! I'm not giving up my throne without a fight!"

Hmm... Big chunks of the ground are being ripped out of the area and lifted into the sky to join those he made before the game started. And... Well, something doesn't feel right here. The sky's gotten cloudy and dark... The more surreal bits of floating landscape are getting duller and gloomier... Some other force is at work here. Meh, not like I care. But I can't have this idiot getting defiant on me. "Still think you're in control, huh? Guess I need to remind you of who's the pitcher and who's the catcher. Bottom's up, ya loony."

He's just floating up there like some sorta god with all that junk floating around him. Kind of looks...heavenly. But he's forgetting something. He's the mere mortal now and I'm his god! And it's time I do the godly thing and smite the infidel! "OK, thirty seconds are up! It's go time!"

I take to the sky, swooping at him like a cackling seagull! No, seriously. I'm laughing that much! Woo! Huh? Whoa! He just made what looks like a giant earthy hand try to snatch me up! Now THAT'S getting the most outta what you have! Nicely done, Discord! Now he just needs to find a way for all this floating landscape to shoot rocks at me to turn this into a bullet hell!

OK, watch it! Yeesh! Dang it! OK, all this stuff trying to swat me out of the air is getting to be a real pain! Oh, wait... Brainstorming here... Hey! You! Yeah, you! Stop looking up porn and pay attention! Things are about to get fun! Huh... Why did I never notice you guys out there before? I guess this must be Pinkie Vision or something!

Eureka! I've got it! Just need to close the gap instantly! Relies on line of sight and mass... Focus... And now Discord's right in front of me! "Hey, Discord! Stab stab stab!"

Ooh, I must have hit some sirloin steak in there. And just listen to him wretch in agony... Wait... I feel like I hit something too hard for my sword to scratch. That box in his chest? No, that's too high up... This is closer to his belly. Meh, whatever! Time to see how many times I can do this trick before I hurl!

"Hey, I'm over here! No, here! No, down here! Aim for the board! Did I ever tell you that you look great in red?" Teleport, slash. Teleport, slash! Over and over! To the left! To the right! To the front! To the back! Now dip, baby! Faster! Over and over, blood flying with every swing! Faster, faster, faster... Oh... Oh boy... Oh god, slow down! STOP!!! Oh my god, I'm gonna spew!

Sweet buttery Jesus, this spell really messes with you when you use it too much, too fast! Gotta land... Where's some... There! That chunk of floating land looks close! OK... Easy... Don't toss your cookies... Deep breaths... All right... I think I'm good... And Discord... Wow, that's a lot of red. And he looks good in it... Wait... There's...something hanging out of his gut. What is that? Something wrong with the pipes? Good thing I'm a certified plumber! At least I would be if I had a license.

"Get down here, buddy! There's something wrong with you!" I just grab him with a levitation spell and yank him out of the air. He's screaming and flailing while trying to get away, even trying to do the dogpaddle and breaststroke, but I plop him down right in front of me. Nah, I just hold him aloft for a minute so I can have easier access to his gut. "Oh, cool it. It's-a me, Jimbino! And I seem to notice you've got something wrong with your inner workings."

"Huh?! What're you talking about?! There's nothing wrong with that area!" What, does he think I'm about to reach in and pull his intestines out? Jolly good guess, but not this time.

"Oh, behave. I'm not gonna hurt you! This time, anyway." And now I thrust my hand in and start feeling around. "Hmm... Whatcha got in here? Oh, hope you don't mind me tickling your ribs for a second..." Whoa, that feels hard. Doesn't feel like a bone either! Now to pull it out. "OK, I found the problem! Looks like you've got a pretty severe case of the...Element of...Honesty?"

....What...the...literal...bloody...hell? One of the Elements of Harmony? OK, props to Discord. I really didn't see this coming! I give him one of my more menacing glares while he seems to be grinning extra nervously. "Uh...yes! How bizarre! I can only wonder how that got there..."

"Quite..." And now for a smirk. "What else you got in there?" And now I hold him up with levitation and start shaking the sucker like in open bag. He keeps flailing and wretching like he's about to barf. And out comes another! And another! And... Did he seriously stash all six of the Elements of Harmony inside himself?!

All six of them are lying at my feet. Saturated in his blood, as is my armored hand... OK, that's a dick move if I ever saw one. "Are you serious?! The clue to 'search within' meant that we had to search inside the one place we'd never think of checking?!"

What is with that nervous expression of relief on his face? Does he think the game's over now that I've found the Elements of Harmony? "Heh... Heheh... Well... Yes! Rather ingenious hiding spot, wasn't it?! But you found them after all! So that means you win! Elements located, victory secured, myself defeated fairly and squarely!"

He thinks it's all over, does he? I take one look at the piled pieces of jewelry before looking at him with a big smirk. "Pardon me, but I seem to recall that the rules of THAT game was that everypony participates or the game is over." And now... I merrily kick them off the floating hunk of earth and let them fall below while he looks on in utter gut-wrenching horror. "I'm not a pony. I have no place in that game down there."

He's starting to hyperventilate. Oh wow, that sound he's making while he starts to back up. "The only way that game is going to end is if they find the Elements. Which means that they need to find a way out of the labyrinth. Too bad there IS no way out! The only game that applies to you and I is the Ultimate Game. And I already told you the rules." Now I just snatch up the Celestial Sword and hold its bloodstained blade up. "So, are you going to prolong the enjoyment, or are you gonna just stand there and let me perform facial reconstruction on you?"

He isn't even trying to talk. He just jumps and levitates away from me at surprising speed while never once taking his eyes off me. Now I get it. He knows he's more boned than a grave robber getting it on with an entire cemetery's occupants. There's nothing he can do or say to save himself. He's just a rat in a cage now. The only question now? How long can he last?

I walk right up to the edge of the floating chunk of land and look right at the distant draconequus. Oh goodie, I'm grinning so hard. I need to stop that! My cheeks and jaw are getting sore! "Atta boy. You just keep on running. Don't let yourself die too soon, Discord! I'm not done having fun here!"

And now to close the gap! I swoop at him, but... Whoa! Look's like he's getting serious! He's making all the floating debris gravitate around him like a spherical net! Seems he's gonna do whatever it takes to make it as hard as possible for me to get to him..... Perfect! I love it when they go down like cornered rats! And I bet he does have a bit of rat in him. Well, this raven's in the mood for some rat ala mode! With a side of crab! I know you've got some crab in there, Discord! And I'll carve it outta you if I have to!

All that debris is just whirling around him while he floats in the middle. Ah, screw it. One little teleportation spell later and I'm hovering right in front of him! "Ding dong! Jimbo calling... OW!!!" What the... Something just hit me and sent me flying right outta the net of debris! Where'd that giant earthen hand come from?! Oh, no. No no no no no! I am NOT the pesky little fly here, Discord! You're not gonna swat me down like this!

So, he's got a little something for everything in there, huh? Well, might as well blow it all away. Might wanna get a little altitude here... Man, it's gotten pretty dark out. But it's only the afternoon, right? Is it Discord's doing? Meh, whatever. Now then... Maybe lightning will blow it all away? Or maybe... Oh, hell yeah! Why didn't I think of this sooner?!

All right then... How do I do this? No, that's fire. Come on... Come on... Wait... There we go... That pulsing glowing orb of yellowish white energy. That's right! Come on! Let's see how he stands up to a solar flare!

Huh? Now Discord has something to say? "Hang on... That's... No! You're not really using that, are you?!"

He's in a panic! Sweet! I bet he knows what's coming! "You recognize this, huh?! Then I betcha know what's coming!"

Now he's waving his hands. Do not want, huh? "No! Stop! You mustn't! Do you even know what you're doing?!"

Heh... Heheh... That makes me laugh. Do I even know what I am doing? Might as well be honest. "I HAVE NO IDEA!!!"

Grow, baby! Grow! I lift that swelling sphere of plasma above my head as I focus more into it. It's growing huge! So bright... And Discord's in an absolute tizzy down below! It's twice my size.... Now five times! Now ten! Jeez, it's hard to keep a grip! It keeps stretching and distorting! I can barely keep it compacted into a spherical form! It feels like it's gonna blow at any time!

"You're gonna wipe out the entire mountaintop if you let that go off! Please, don't do it!" What's this? Discord showing concern for Canterlot? Well, if that's not out of character, I don't know what is!

Still... Blowing up an entire mountaintop? "This thing will wipe out the mountaintop?! Awesome! What if I get it big enough to wipe out the whole mountain?!" OK, my throat's gonna be sore in a while. I can't stop laughing! Bigger... And bigger... And... Hang on. Why am I looking at the labyrinth?

What's wrong with me? I'm trying to have fun! But... They're still in there... If this goes off now... No, they don't even exist anymore! That's not them down there! But... No! Aim for Discord! Make sure he gets it! But still...

Ah, screw this! I direct my hand to the northern horizon and let it loose! That huge glowing orb rockets higher and higher until it's just an itty-bitty spark in the sky. And then... BOOM!!! I actually felt that one! A huge flare of light in the sky! I just hover there while looking on. And that would've wiped out the entire mountaintop and Canterlot with it?

"That... WOOOOO!!! Did you see that?! Man, that was huge! I could hear it from here! Felt it too!" Dang, if only Celestia could've seen that. Too bad she has no idea what's even going on out here. Good thing too. No telling what'd I have to do to her if she tried to stop me. Still... Better not use anymore plasma magic for the rest of the game. Yeah. Wouldn't wanna blow myself up with him. Oh, wait! Yes I would! But it would be much more enjoyable to make sure he dies first!

Hang on... What's that light coming from? My hand? "Oh, fire. Fire... FIRE! HOT! HOT!!!" Yeowch! I guess I didn't handle that plasma as well as I should've! My whole gauntlet is ablaze in yellowish white flames! And it hurts! It really hurts! I thought my armor is supposed to be heat resistant! Gotta put it out! Maybe... yeah! Ice! I blast my right arm with a magic blizzard from my left! It encrusted the thing with that gorgeous bluish ice and the flames seem to have faded. A little magic fire gets rid of it, but... Whoa. The metal seems a bit mangled...melted. Well, considering that plasma has an average temperature of 11,000 degree Fahrenheit or hotter, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. And ouch... I mean...ouch. It hurts... My arm hurts... That thing... What did it give me? Second degree burns? Well, whatever! This pain is nothing! I'm having too much of a blast to let a little burning agony stop me! But still... Yeah. No more plasma.

"Anyway... Back to business!" Focus in the left hand... There! Ice spikes flying at him! But he just uses all that debris to block it. Well then... How about on the inside! Didn't see that coming, huh?! Several shiny spears of ice are sticking out of him all over. And with all that red oozing from the filled wounds... Wow, it actually looks really pretty! But I can admire living art another day. There's more fun to be had!

More ice spikes! Now teleport behind him! Fireballs away! And now teleport right up to him while he deals with that! "Hello! And goodbye!" And boom! Stream of lightning right into him! Don't let up though. Keep it going! And... All right, how does that work?! I keep seeing his bones every few seconds?! "How does it feel to have this happen without being immortal, hm?! Not so easy to walk off, is it?!"

What the?! Oof! A giant rocky hand just snatched me up?! And it's trying to crush me between its fingers... Nice move, Discord! But not good enough. Just focus a bit... And there! Teleport! I think my head's getting used to that now. Not feeling too dizzy anymore.

I landed on a chunk of debris...and now he's sending the whole fleet of them after me like one big disjointed chain! Woo! Keep it coming! I'm running and jump and tumbling as they come crashing down at me while I just keep swapping ground for the bigger chunks of earth. It's crazy... I'm leaping and moving with such speed and agility I never even knew I had! My legs though... They're kinda burning up. Man, I must be really overworking myself throughout the whole game so far. But it's all worth it to see this loser drop dead!

Whoa, going vertical now! A little gravity spell should fix that. "Wow, Discord! You're driving me up the walls here!" And up I go! Running along the walls...and now upside-down! Woo hoo! Oh, this looks like a good spot to get to him! Jump straight up and return gravity to normal and flip and... Dropkick! "In the face!!!"

Considering that each leg has the kicking power of both an earth pony's hind legs, I just kicked him with the force of two earth ponies! I'm amazed I didn't take his whole head off or shatter his skull! But that looks like it really hurt! But what could make it even funnier? How about this?! Swoop low and... "IN THE NUTS!!!"

Missed?! Well, I guess he must've seen that coming. He levitated just out of reach when I took a swing at the twins nestled inside him. Seems he learns from every hit he takes. Good! That'll really draw this game out! Well, let's increase the fun of the chase! A swing of my hand launches a crescent wave of flames, but don't let it fizzle out! Maintain it...grow it... There! Let's see how he likes a fire serpent chasing him down!

Around and around the Discord goes. If he stops, off with his toes! Now he's abandoning his asteroid belt of floating debris and rising higher into the dark and...rainy sky. And what's with this rain?! It's not chocolate milk, is it?! No, look's more like...ink? Doesn't look like he's doing this... Well, whatever! I'll let that thing fizzle out now. It's getting kinda hard to maintain it in the rain anyway. Now then, teleport higher just as Discord turns around...

"Huh? It's gone?" Good. And now to tap him on the shoulder. Ooh, he just froze up like he knows what's behind him!

"Page for Mr. Discord!" Turn around and...my fingers in your face! "Bang, you're dead!"

And bang! Another explosion of fire! Lucky for him it's raining. That's helping cool him off. But it at least stunned him. And that's one loooong fall. Oh, idea! I dive to catch up to him and turn him over before taking a seat on his neck!

"Ow! What're you doing?!" Don't like it when I yank your horns? Well boo hoo, cry me a river and drown the whole world!

"What're you? Blind?! BEST RIDE EVER!!!" Wooo!!! Riding this sucker to the ground! "Oh, if it's nautical nonsense be something you wish... Whoa, that ground's coming up fast! Time to bail!" And I kick off of his head and down he goes. Splat! Right into... What the hell happened to this place? It's a mess! Mud and twisted landscape everywhere I look... Man, it's dark too. Not night dark, but... And all that floating landscape...

http://youtu.be/1mvQnfOgV38

Something isn't right here. The more surreal floating chunks of the landscape have become...mangled. Twisted... Nightmarish. But Discord can't be doing that. And it doesn't match his style either... He's not that kind of crooked. But... With how scary the place is getting... Time to scare the piss outta him before we get to the last stretch. Heheheh...

There he is. Lying facedown in a huge muddy section of the area. What is this place anyway? Some sort of courtyard? Well, I know just how to greet him. I'll just stand in front of him, hunched over to bring us a bit closer. He's starting to push himself up... Coughing up mud... And now he's looking right at me while I give him a big happy smile. Now for the proper greeting in a sexy deep voice. "Hey there, sugar tits."

His response? Well, what do you think?! He sprints in the opposite direction while shrieking like a little girl! But he doesn't get far. He trips and faceplants into the mud again. Oh good grief, I can't help tittering like a little imp. Now to get away from him before he gets back up. Hmm... All this debris makes for some good cover.

I'm watching you, Discord. Oh, does it feel good to wait for you to get in just the right position. Look at him stagger to his feet. What a beautiful mess. Stained with blood, mud, and plenty of singed hair. How absolutely pathetic. The great Spirit of Chaos reduced to a maimed and battered fool. That look of terror in his eyes. He's constantly glancing around. Wondering where I've gone... Oh, that's right. The Element of Humanity has 'eyes' right now that glow. Better keep my hand over it to make sure he can't see them. It's pretty dark and ominous out here right now. He's looking right in my direction, but it's too dark for him to see me peeking from over this rock.

I can hear him. Labored breathing. I must've collapsed one of his lungs or something. Or maybe I cracked a rib or two. He's calling out to me now. He's desperate. "I know you're out there...! Please! Let's call this off! I get it! I can't beat you in this state! You've proven yourself a wily opponent! But this isn't fun anymore! So please... Let's just call it off!"

Hmm... What was that spell to project one's voice? Ah, right. That one. "Call it off? Why? I'm the one with the advantage, you little weeny. And yes, my sensors indicate that you are, in actuality, a weeny. You can't hide what's inside. And I should know because I've seen your insides."

"You're sick... You're not mad! You're not even insane! You're sick!" And he still thinks he can call me out for what I am when he made me this way? I'm starting to think he can't properly comprehend just how much harm he's done to me. But he'd have to be really messed up in the head to not see that.

"Am I? Must I remind you that it was you who made me this way? Oh, and by the way... I'm hungry again. So...uh...you might wanna hide now. I'll give you sixty seconds to find a hiding spot. Because if I see you out in the open... Well, I'll be finding out if there really is any crab in you. I'm just hoping it's the king kind." And off he goes. He's not taking chances anymore. Seems he's using levitation to gather up a bunch of rock and wood and is building it around himself while huddling against a larger rock over there. And sixty seconds have passed. Too bad I was watching the whole time.

Now to mess with him more. I'll just meander over to the rock next to where he's hiding. Now I'll pass right by his hiding spot. Better look right at it just to make sure he knows I'm close. Shuddering in there, Discord? You better be. Wet yourself yet? I can see a little hole in the mess of rock and wood. I bet I could see him if I got right up to it. Look at his spot for about ten seconds...and then keep walking. Yeah, I know you're in there, buddy. But you don't know that yet.

Now to pretend I'm looking over here. Now I'll climb onto his hiding spot and act like I'm looking around from a higher vantage point... Wait. Why am I... Tears? My throat is tightening... No, not now! Ignore the pain... Focus on the game. They're gone, James! They don't even exist anymore! Focus on your prey... There... I'm OK now. Now then, back to the fun times.

I think it's time to let Discord know I know where he is. Walk right by his hiding spot one more time...and now hurry back and look right in the hole! There he is. Looking at me in frightened silence while neither of us even breathe. Eight seconds later and... "It's raping time!"

What just happened?! I just heard a little girl shriek before that makeshift shelter exploded before something knocked me down and ran right over me! Did that idiot just trample me?! Oh my god, that is FUN. NY. I can't stop laughing! "Ohohoho gohahod... I liiiiiiike this game!"

He's still running over there, so I better make sure he stops. Conjure up a bit of lightning and make it strike down right in front of him. Now to teleport over yonder and out of sight. And add a little more mad giggling for addition spookiness. He's still right there out in the open with plenty of debris to hide my movements. But... Hang on, what's that over there?

I know that hilt and sun crossguard. The Celestial Sword? Fell in a bush, huh? Hmm... I guess it is about time for the final stretch. Let's get you back in my hands and... Whoa. After all that hacking and slashing I did to the guy, the blade... It's completely covered in a layer of sticky crimson fluid. It must have coagulated with the help of the blade's subtle heat since it's not dripping off anymore. The thickness seems to vary here and there, but I don't see a single spot of white anymore. The rain isn't even washing it off. And the glow... Oh god, the glow. With things being so dark out here, the blade is glowing quite nicely. And the glow... Such a beautiful chilling crimson hue. Just wait until Discord sees me now! But not yet. I'll leave this hiding behind this stone for the moment. One last scare to give him before I go to town on his sorry hide.

"I gotta hand it to you, Discord. This is really fun." OK, he hears me. Looking around while constantly keeping his hands close to himself. "Oh, but it's not what you're thinking! I don't mean the tearing you asunder or the constant scaring you out of your skin. I mean...it's fun actually playing god."

He's got his back turned. I just ran over to the nearest rocky crag, the sounds of my greaves splashing through the wet mushy ground alerting Discord just before he could look at where I was. Now to teleport over to the other side of the area and do it again with the nearest set of cover. "Being superior to everyone. Having all the power you could ever ask for. Being far above the person you want to see suffer. I'll tell ya, Discord. This is the life. I can't remember the last time I felt this...alive. No wonder you like toying with mortals. It makes you feel so much bigger than them."

Now on the other side of the field. Seriously, this guy looks like he's about to have a breakdown. "But what about you, huh? What's it like being mortal for the very first time? What's it like having no control at all over your fate? What does it feel like knowing you can't do anything to save yourself?"

Now the lightning is kicking up. A massive thunderclap just ripped through the air while the flash of lightning cast my shadow towards Discord as I swapped hiding spots. He almost saw me. And good lord, did that boom get a good yelp outta him. Just need to keep him guessing on where I am before starting on the last phase of this game.

"But more than anything, I have to wonder... How does it feel now that the flow of time has reached out to you and taken hold? I bet it feels good being immortal. Untouched by time. Fearing no harm. Constantly above the petty laws of nature." And now to return to the Celestial Sword. One teleportation more and it is back in my hand. Now for a classic scare.

http://youtu.be/Sd7hVaymR7o

"But you know... Even immortals aren't truly immortal. For you see... Even if the flow of time does not register with you... Even when your wounds close as quickly as they are rend... You are never truly safe from death..." Now to just levitate myself out from the hiding spot. No sound. His back is turned to me. Sword in hand with crimson glow being cast. Oh god, I can only imagine how I must look in the dark! Now to just lightly set myself down without making a sound. I'm probably only fifty paces away from him now. "You see, Discord... You can run. You can cheat it. You can do all you can to delay it. But in the end... It WILL find you... The reaper ALWAYS finds you!"

Wait for it... Oh, fine then. "That's your cue to turn around, nimrod."

He finally turns to face me and... Oh yeah, that's the reaction I was hoping for. A shriek of absolute terror as he staggers backward and falls right on his back. He isn't even trying to get up. He's just pushing himself away from me in the mud as I just casually walk towards him. I bet the only thing he can really make out in this awful lighting is the crimson glow of the Celestial Sword's bloodstained blade and the glowing crimson 'eyes' of the two ravens upon my helmet's forehead. Although occasionally a flash of lightning illuminates the area for a couple of seconds. And his pleas. Oh sweet joy, it's what I always wanted to hear out of that idiot. "NO! NO!!! PLEASE!!! NO MORE!!! LEAVE ME BE!!!"

He honestly thinks I'll call the game off by this point, does he? Guess I better remind him what his place is. "Are you kidding me, Discord? After all the fun I've been having, you really expect me to just stop here? What would you expect me to do after that? As I said earlier, there's no tomorrow for us. So, let's enjoy this grand finale for as long as we can! The previous stages of the game were fun, but now I'm about to go all banana nut butters on ya! So I recommend you get on your feet and start running. Don't you die on me just yet, got it?! You've got ten seconds to get a move on."

He's barely staggering to his feet. Too terrified to even try to resist me? Come on, man. You can make this whole thing more fun than that. "Three...two...one. Time to play."

I lunge at him and make a big upward swing of my sword, but he once again uses that pesky levitation spell on himself to move back... Oh, now that is chilling. With every swing, the crimson blade of the Celestial Sword leaves an awesome red light trail in the dark! "That's it! Keep on the move! You better keep running if you wanna stay alive!" Oh, sweet lord, I could just start singing now! And when I channel my heat magic into the blade! It becomes a surging huge blade of crimson flames that is triple the size it normally is! Let's see you dodge this, Disco Dude!

It's kinda hard to keep my footing on this wet muddy ground. With every lunge and sweep of my sword I make, I keep sliding all over the place. Well, how about this?! I can do some self-levitation too, you know! A quick jump, start to levitate, and go nuts with a spinning somersault slash! Oh, I know I hit something that time! Now, slow down the rotation and... There we go! A gentle landing.

What's Discord clutching there? His left shoulder? Huh? What's that in the mud? "Lemme guess. Just a scratch, right? Well, I beg to differ! Your arm's off! No, it isn't, right? Well, what's that then?!"

He just now noticed his severed griffon arm sticking out of the mud. Aw, the poor loony looks like he's about to start crying. Now he's trying to put it back where it used to be, but it won't stay. I think I can even see the bone exposed in the stump. How pitiful. And now he gives me that look. Not sure what to call that one. He looks devastated, yet horrified, yet... Man, there are no words. You just have to imagine him with the most pitiful expression you can think of. "Seriously, dude. How the hell have you not bled out yet? You got a whole blood bank in there to keep you going?!"

"Please... No more... I don't want this! This isn't a game! This is torture!" He actually managed to squeak out some words, huh?

"Still don't get it, huh? This IS a game, Discord. Maybe not a very fun game to some, but still a game nonetheless. And it's a game as old as time itself, to be honest. One seeks to do harm to the other. The other seeks to defend itself. One lives. One dies. Of course, you could just forfeit and end your suffering now..." Now to point my sword at him with the wackiest grin I can manage! "Hehehehehee... But that wouldn't be nearly as fun now, would it?!"

And once again, he's on the run! But chasing him down is too slippery and cumbersome. And all this lightning... Hoo, yes! Just get a load of this atmosphere! Grim and foreboding! Well, if he doesn't want to meet me up close, I'll just have to toss him a line. Or rather a sword on the end of a magic chain!

I just conjured up a magic golden chain connected to my right hand and am whirling the Celestial Sword above me. Just look at that whirling trail of crimson light. "Hey, Disco Duck! I hope you got eyes in the back of you head! Because I'm about to gouge them out!"

And it's a swing...and a miss! Man, he's too flexible! It's like trying to hit a wind chime in a hurricane! Swing and swing and... Oh, come on! Hold still! Then how about this?! Raise it up and bring it down! "Stab stab stab! Hold still, you loony!" I hope that blood doesn't come off in that mud with each missed stab... Sheesh, it's even harder to hit him while making stabs from above like the descending stinger of a scorpion! At least it's fun to see this guy dance while trying to avoid getting skewered! "Say my name! SAY MY NAME!!!"

OK, that little sword is too easy to dodge! I need something bigger... Something broader... Something...spikier. And I know just the thing! Keep him busy for a moment with one hand while the other... Yeah! A nice chunk of earth with some sturdy bedrock on the underside! Now to pull and break... This is a lot easier than I thought it'd be. Guess I learn better by doing instead of listening!

"Mozart versus Beethoven..." Now that looks really wicked. I mean sure, something that big and heavy is deadly, but it needed something more. So I felt that I could chisel a bunch of sharp pointy ends out of the flat end. Now to levitate that over... "John de Lancie versus MASHY SPIKE PLATES!!!"

He looks up...and what kinda scream was that?! Still... Oh, come on! I put a lot of work into that! The least he could do is stand still! Sheesh, that was quite a tremor it made when it slammed into the ground. Now to lift and... "Stand...still please!"

Over and over... Now he's just pissing me off. "Come on! Stand still for just five seconds! Pretty please?! It'll make for one hell of a mess, you know! I'd love to see that!" But he's not having any of it. Hey, and I know this is out of nowhere, but where did those ice spikes lodged in his body go? Did they melt? Or did he yank them out?

Oh, screw this! I'll never hit that slithering douche with that thing! May as well just leave it. He takes just one look at me...and off he goes. Levitating like a snake over the ground. Well, two can play at this! I grab my sword and take off after him, but from the side while keeping my distance.

I can see him on my left. I can only imagine how I look, running through the dark with that crimson blade glowing while those two tiny eyes on my helmet look at him whenever I look his way. I have to keep hopping over bits of debris too. Does he think I'm about to start closing in before taking a few more swings? Not this time!

I stick my empty hand out towards him and start to bombard him with magic lightning bolts! But why stop there? I use my wings to hover just off the ground while staying on the move and take turns with my hands while keeping the Celestial Sword levitating nearby, swapping between lightning bolts, frigid icicle spears, and bursts of fire. Just how is this guy managing to weave and tumble around so many of these projectiles?! Tch, fine...

I may as well get a bit more altitude. I fly above what I think is the central area of the wasteland, rain still pouring down around me while Discord seems to be keeping his distance. Now for something to really make him dance. Let's see... Nope, I can't generate both lightning and ice at the same time. I have to alternate. But maybe... Fire and lightning... Oh, hell yes!

"Yo, Discord! You might wanna get on the move!" Now, fire and lightning at the same time... Focus... Build the energies... Bring both hands forward... Keep them close together... Whoooooaaaa!!! It's a continuous huge beam of electrical and fiery magical energies! A swirling vortex of electric blue and fiery yellow! To think that I could've done this at the start! A bit hard to control though... It feels...heavy! I can only turn it slowly! Crap, Discord is narrowly staying ahead of it! But this stuff is scorching the ground pretty fast. The mud is turning into dry dirt whenever it passes over it, but the rain wets it down again in no time.

Meh, screw this. I'll never hit him at this rate. Rather than raw power, I should use sheer numbers. Quick! One little teleport down there behind him! "I'm over here!"

One quick little barrage of fire bullets peppered him up nicely before he could even react. Now to the left! "No, over here!"

Looks like I should've let the guy get a bat. I threw a bunch of icy screwballs at him and he tried to hit them with his face! No, wait. I was aiming at his face and they just slammed into him the instant he started to look. Now to teleport again behind him!

"Where are you looking?!" And bang! A big arc of lightning! Hey, I was wondering how I kept missing before! That's right. I haven't been entirely focusing my eyes on his body before casting a spell and he keeps weaving and tumbling through the air! No wonder I keep missing half the time.

Repeat the same steps a few more times while throwing out an insulting wisecrack with each time and its time for the big one. I teleport back up above the middle of the area and raise my hands to the stormy sky! Man, this place has gotten scary. I don't even want to look at the landmasses that are still floating. It's like something has merged with Discord's chaotic magic that still lingers and has twisted it into something...freaky. But enough about that. Let's get back to us! If memory serves, casting magic on something requires line of sight while pointing my hand in the direction it is in. But if my hands aren't pointing in the same direction I'm looking... Oh, this is gonna get crazy!

"Hey, Disco Duck! Let's see you dance!" Focus...and let 'em rip! Shooting ice shards, fireballs, and crackling lightning orbs into the sky at rapid-fire frequency! And down it all comes! It's raining fiery freezing shocking hell! And Discord... Oh, wow. The poor sucker should've brought a parasol! He keeps getting pelted since he's too confused by all the falling magical projectiles that he can't keep an eye on what's directly above him!

Did I seriously keep that going for a full minute? Well, it sure was fun to see how chaotic that got! I love scattershot attacks like that. Ooh, looks like poor Disco Ball is having trouble keeping himself up. Tell you what. If he survives this next one, I'll give him the chance to get in a free hit. It's no fun when the game's entirely 100% one-sided!

Lightning sparks around my left hand, flames flickering over my right while I grip the Celestial Sword in the right. Discord looks like he might be ready to pass out. "What's wrong, big guy? Getting tired? Well, I hope you got enough in you for one last burst! Here comes the best!"

I raise my left hand high and arcs of lightning shoot up and rain down all around me while staying connected to my hand! But no, it doesn't stop there. They stay there, a bunch of electric pillars! And now, let's give it a whirl! They start to spin like poles on a carousal, spreading outward to slam into Discord! But it looks like he's catching on. He keeps slipping through the gaps! Now to spin them in reverse. He keeps moving forward and back to get through them whenever they approach and retreat.

"Not bad, Discord! Time for the next phase!" Now to whirl them again... Now stop! And with my right hand... Pillars of flame that jut up and rocket forward between the pillars of lightning! And Discord's staying on top of things still, getting between two of them before they can mow him down! Now to rotate the pillars again and send out more pillars of fire! Well, this isn't working as well as I hoped. Time for the final phase.

"Nice work, twinkle toes! But let's see you get through this!" Now for a second cage of electric pillars! One whirls in one direction while the other spins in the opposite. They keep passing each other, often catching Discord between the two. And more fire pillars keep sliding between the gaps to get him! Oh, this is just glorious! It's just a shame that he's not getting hit more often.

And he finally drops! He just got caught in one of the lightning pillars and collapsed! I guess now's a good time to dispel these spells. I'll just drop to the ground and check on him. Oh, now he start's to climb to his feet. All that blood. And that singed fur. Not to mention both wings, most of his tail, and an arm missing. Utterly humiliated.

"Wooo, good times! I told you the Ultimate Game's a blast to play! But holy handjob, you're a mess! I knew you were gonna get your tail served to you on a silver platter with a lemon and star fruit garnish, but I didn't think I'd mess you up this bad!" I just can't stop laughing! I'm having way too much fun here!

Oh, now that's a new look. He seems tired and scared, but he's starting to look pretty pissed off now too. "Oh, what, you gonna cry now?! You gonna cry, ya big baby?! Yeah, go ahead! Cry for me! Rage quit, I dare ya! Go on! Rage quit!"

That labored breathing of his is starting to turn into a growl. What, does he have one last act of defiance up his sleeve? "Do you... Can you even fathom who you're toying with?!"

"Hmmm... Do I? Well, you were the almighty Spirit of Chaos a little while ago. But all I see now is a wimpy and pitiful little twit who's splashing in the deep end. But tell you what. Since you've been such a good sport so far and haven't had much luck, I'll let you get in one good shot. No questions asked. So go ahead, sucker. Lemme have it." I'm just standing ready. What's he gonna do? Hit below the belt? Punch me in the face? Maybe suplex me into the mud?

His eyes are wandering. No, more like scanning me. He's trying to figure out where to strike. There's a lot riding on this one blow and he wants to make it count. "One move...? Well, how's this then?!"

The claws on his right hand extend. And those are some pretty big lion claws! "Ooooh, real scary! But do you really think they can get through my armor?"

"No, of course they can't." What's that strangely smug grin? He's up to something. But I did promise him one free hit, so may as well let him do it. "But I see one spot that'll work!"

He reaches back like he's about to slash me across the face or something. But instead, he...grabs me by the hip? I'm looking down and his hand is just holding me there. "What? We gonna do some dirty dancing?"

He grins wickedly. And with one pull of his hand... What was that sound? And...that searing pain. Man, that hurts. That...really hurts! There is a crimson fluid oozing from the left side of my waist... I see what he did. He slipped his claw between the tiny almost impossible to notice gap between the tasset and the cuirass. And he just gutted me pretty nicely. I bet he even tore my intestines open. Maybe he even ripped a tear in my kidney. Who knows what he did? But still... This is...perfect. Just the opportunity I was waiting for!

Now then, time to go for an Oscar. Look down at the blood. Now slowly bring the hand to it and lift, looking at the blood in silent shock. Good, good. Now then, take a step forward... Ow! Jeez, it hurts to move with this wound! It hurts... No, ignore the pain! I'm so close now... Take another step, then cringe... Drop the sword. Now stagger back several steps. Good... Gasp long and deep. Lean back and...I'm down!

Now to just lie here. Breathe deep, sound in pain. OK, I really am in pain here, but you get the point. And here he comes. Looks like he's in a lot of pain too, but good god, this guy is one hardy son of an Ursa. I'm starting to think he might've left a tiny bit of his immortality inside himself to make him a little harder to drop. Now he's lowering his upper half to me while looking pretty smug. I'm keeping my eyes almost completely closed, but open just a tiny crack so I can still see him.

"You're definitely out of your head, Sir James. You could've won if you continued coming at me, but now you're doomed. You're going to bleed out from that wound, both externally and internally." Yeah, sure. Keep talking like you're the one in control here. "But I don't want to see you die. I've never been the killing type. I'm willing to call this game a draw if you are. We both forfeit, I get all of my magic back, I heal our wounds, and we both go our separate ways. And if you're still so torn up about your friends abandoning you, I can still replace your anguish with apathy. What say you? Shall we let bygones be bygones? Surely this isn't something worth dying over!"

OK, he's right where I want him. And it sounds like he's done talking. "Heh... Heh...Heheh... You...really are one gullible little twit, aren't you?"

Now he just looks annoyed while I look up at him. No point in feigning defeat now. "I don't think you're grasping just how dire your situation is! I know that's just one wound there, but that bleeding isn't going to stop! Let's stop this thing and start thinking about how we might live to see tomorrow!"

"I must've hit your head a little too hard at some point, Discord. Have you forgotten? There IS no tomorrow for us. I'm not done with you yet. And you're right where I want you. Remember this little friend of mine?" I lift my left hand and focus my magic in it for a special type of teleportation. The Lunar Shield resonates with that polarity. And here it comes. I'll just hold it aloft for the moment in front of him to make my point. "Now here's a riddle I just thought up. How many whacks to the head with the Lunar Shield does it take to crack open the skull of a draconequus?"

Looks like Discord isn't sure of what to make of this. I mean, sure. A big shield isn't exactly menacing by itself. But bear in mind, there is nothing harder than the Lunar Shield. His skull will break long before it does! "I'm asking because I honestly don't know! But let's find out now, shall we? Hold still now!"

And now to bring that sucker down into his head! But looks like Discord was quick to throw up his hand. He keeps trying to push it away while I try to use levitation to smash it into his face. But now... "Psych!"

That sound... A sudden yelp of pain and a splash of blood from his knees as something swiftly cleaves through them. He's standing perfectly still now, probably having no idea what just hit him. I mean, seriously. Why do you think I dropped the Celestial Sword at a spot that would end up behind that sucker once he took several steps forward? I just use levitation to toss the Lunar Shield away while I start to stagger to my feet. Don't need that anymore.

"You... What did you do?! What was that pain I just felt in my knees?!" Discord looks like he's starting to panic. And for good reason. He's all mine now. I finally have him cornered and helpless. Not even a little levitation from him will save him now.

"Not sure what happened just now, huh?" I use the levitation spell to bring the Celestial Sword back to my right hand while my left clutches my side. That's a lot of blood... I need to hurry up and get this over with. I've come too far to miss out on this opportunity now! "Well, let me give you an idea."

Now that I'm back on my feet, I lift my right foot and give Discord the boot! Off he goes. Right off his legs and into the mud on his back! "I've heard of getting knocked out of your shoes before, but never right off your legs!"

He has hardly any mobility now that all he's got left are two bleeding stumps and one arm. He tries to prop himself up, but he pretty much has to rely on his long flexible neck to see what just happened. And sure enough, his feet and shins are still just standing there. "My... My legs?! You... What do you want from me?!"

Oh, my cheeks are so sore. I'm smiling as big as I can while I look down at this pathetic little idiot. "What do I want? I want your head. In other words... Hello! This is the part where I kill you!"

He's hyperventilating, trying to pull himself away from me with his only remaining arm while never once taking his eyes off of me. He knows he's cornered. And I'm still faster than him. Dang, this hurts... But I'm still staggering forward faster than he is retreating. Go on. Just try to keep away from me.

Well, it's gonna be tough to pin him if he keeps squirming like that. A quick little impalement should stop him long enough for me to get in position. Once I get close enough, I plunge my sword deep through the center of his body, prompting another shriek of agony. "I wouldn't move if I were you. That thing's stuck right in the ground itself and cuts through most things like paper. You'll bisect yourself if you keep crawling."

Still trying to talk his way outta this, huh? Even while I'm moving around to his chest to pin him down? "You're not thinking straight! Look at yourself! That's not just some little paper cut, you know! You're gonna die if we don't quit this game! What's wrong with you?! None of this makes any sense!"

Sense? Of all people, the Spirit of Chaos is talking about sense? I feel the smuggest smirk ever spread across my lips while I slowly lower my face to his. He's scared, but weirded out too. Probably thinks I'm gonna French him or something. Now that my face is mere inches away, there's one thing I have to ask. "But what fun is there in making sense? Am I right?"

That look of absolute dread. He knows there is no way he's getting out of this alive now. He knows he screwed up bad and he's about to pay the price for it. Wait... What is he saying? "But...why? Why do this?! I don't get it!"

Why...he asks? "Why...? Hehee... Why... WHY?!" I reach back and grab the Celestial Sword in a reverse grip before yanking it right out of him and keeping it pointed at his face, ready to plunge it between his eyes! "You actually have the balls to ask me WHY?! After all I've said and all I've done to you, you STILL don't get it?!"

I am so tempted... He's right here in front of me, pinned under me, and all I have to do is plunge my sword's crimson blade right into him! But no... Not yet. "I've been dropping hints here and there and you still just don't get it?! Heh... Hehee! You really can't even begin to comprehend what it is you did to me, can you?!"

He's not even trying to counter or reply to anything I say. And my voice... I can feel the tears... It's like some bizarre fusion of laughter and sobbing... "You probably didn't see me show up in Ponyville a year ago, did you? You didn't see how lost and confused I was, wary of the people and baffled of where I was. But you wanna know who came to my aid when I needed someone most? I'll give you a hint! There was six of them!"

Oh, that look in his eyes. I don't think I can describe it if I tried! But he just glanced over at the labyrinth over yonder. "DING DING DING!!! We have a winner! Yup! It was those six wonderful mares. They could've just left me alone to my confusion and fear, but instead, they helped me when no one else did. They became the foundations for my life in Equestria. And as the weeks went by, I started wondering how I would ever get by without them. I didn't think life could get any better with such awesome friends. But then...someone came along and wrecked everything in just one afternoon. And he's this idiot right under me!"

God, it's so hard... I want to just end him right here! So close and there's nothing stopping me! But not yet... Need to resist a little longer... "You just don't know what it's like, do you? You can't even comprehend living not for yourself, but for the people who mean everything to you! You think it's funny to completely erase the minds and personalities of such people, leaving totally unlikable scumbags in their place! And what really pisses me off about you...is that you just don't care. Well, it's all fun and games until you tick off the one person you really shouldn't have trifled with, isn't it?"

The pain... It's all coming back... "They're gone... All gone... And I'll never see them again... No... Haha... No more tears... All that's left is this game... And I can finally win it..."

It's time. Put a smile on, James. You finally have this monster by the balls. "You know... It's been fun. There's something satisfying about seeing you being completely humbled before me. And as for this fatal wound you just gave me? Well, let me tell you something. Do you know what the one thing that is more satisfying than winning the Ultimate Game is? Can you even guess?"

No words? Nothing? He looks too petrified to say anything. I guess I may as well tell him then. "It's an easy guess, to be honest. The one thing more satisfying than winning is snatching victory right out of the hands of your enemy when they are about to triumph. For you see, Discord... I lose...but you don't win. Make no mistake, I'm probably not gonna survive this injury, but I'm sure as hell not gonna die before you do!"

I guess that's all there is to say. And it's about time too... Huh? Now he has something to say as I lift my sword? "Wait! I can reverse them! I can change them back to how they used to be! I promise! I swear it!"

....Seriously, dude? You must have been thinking that up the instant I first pinned you down like this, weren't you? "Hehehee... You're a riot! You really think I'm gonna start buying what you say now?! No dice, Discord! The last thing I expected was to find out you're a coward! Now then, I don't have much longer, so I may as well send you on your way. I would say it was nice knowing you...but it wasn't!"

I finally thrust my sword down at him, but the little cockroach is trying to hang on until the end! He reaches up with his remaining arm and grabs mine by the wrist, just barely keeping the blade away from his face! He's just wailing and screaming in sheer terror, completely at my mercy! I'm pushing as hard as I can, but... All this bleeding... I'm starting to feel just a little more tired now... Not good. I need to finish this before fatigue finally sets in. I'm so close... I didn't come this far to fail now!

"What's wrong?! No smiles?! No laughing?! I thought you loved having fun with these games! Come on, you pansy! Laugh!" I at least have my left arm free. This should get him to back off. An armored fist to the face! Pow! And again...and again! There went that tusk hanging from his upper jaw! And one more... Now he lets go. Groaning in pain as he holds his mouth. "What's wrong? Too joyful and excited to even think of how to process it?! Well, that's fine! Just leave all the laughing to me!"

And so, I laugh. With no more resistance, I plunge my blade directly into his face... Again... And again... Over and over... So much blood. It's splattering onto my chest... Onto my face! His body finally goes limp, but I can't stop! I just can't stop laughing! And I can't cease stabbing! More and more, I just keep stabbing! Finally... Just one more! With both hands, through the face! "Come on! LAUGH! LAUGH WITH ME!!!"

.....I'm shuddering so much... The Celestial Sword is sticking straight up as my hands rest around its hilt. My breathing is harsh and erratic. I look down and... He... I did it... I actually did it... He's dead. Discord...is dead. His body is still. His arm limp. His head... Oh, don't even ask me to try to describe the carnage his face has become. There are simply no words to paint a picture of the mess his face is in. Just let your imagination do the work, if you have the stomach for it. But still... I did it. I killed him. Discord is dead. Slain by my hand...

And now...the laughter is coming back. So this is what it's like to bring justice to the one who ruined your life... It feels...good. Very good. I'm laughing so hard as I look to the sky. Victory is mine! "Oh, man! That was fun! You should really see the look on your face now, Discord! Oh, wait, I'm sorry. You don't even HAVE much of a face anymore, do you? They're gonna need all the staples and glue in the world to put you back together!"

http://youtu.be/frfKbXxmpM8

I laugh... And laugh... It feels good. But...the tears... And this sound. The laughing is turning into...crying. He's gone...and my wrath with it. I... Oh, god... The pain is returning, both in my body and my heart. My head throbs, my legs burn, my arm screams in agony under its melted mangled shell. But now... I hold my face in my hands. There is no joy left. No satisfaction. So...this is revenge. He took away what is most dear to me. Erased it from existence. And I made him suffer for it. But...I gained nothing from it. With all the rage and hate gone, there is only...emptiness.

The rain is starting to slow... Blood continues to ooze down my side. I do not have long, but I am not afraid. It is strange, but...I welcome it. My vision blurred by tears, I turn my gaze to the labyrinth. The entrance still sealed by a wall of leaves. But maybe... Maybe I can get back inside. I know they will not care, but... Maybe my words will still reach them. If nothing else, I at least want to say goodbye...

I stagger to my feet... My god, this pain... It feels as if my entire body burns... I cannot even move my right hand anymore. The burns beneath the shell... I feel so weak now that the adrenaline has run its course. But I have to make it. I have left Discord's corpse behind. What I did to him... Was it right? Wrong? What I did... I became worse than he ever was... But it does not matter anymore... I will be gone soon either way. Perhaps I deserve it too...

My stance is weak. I shamble across the ground as the rain finally comes to a stop. This ground is still whole and stable, not a field of mud. My hand grasps my waist, futilely trying to staunch the loss of blood. I feel as if my feet weigh ten times more than normal. My vision...it occasionally blurs, and not by tears. My gait is becoming increasingly unsteady. I stagger from one side to the other, trying to stay on the path. Finally, I cannot stay standing. I lose my balance and drop to one knee with a clank.

It is not much further. The entrance is maybe another hundred paces... If I can just...push myself to a standing position again... My right hand reaches out... I know they are in there. A little more... Come on...

I push myself up slowly, but... I cannot. I groan as my strength gives out, falling flat on the ground with a clank. My helmet... It rolled off. I do not need it. But the Element of Humanity... The ravens are gone. Only the form of twin white doves remain.

No matter what I do, I cannot climb to my feet. I feel so weak... So...cool. Come on... If I cannot stand, then I must crawl. My right hand. It hurts... But I have to use it. I claw at the ground while pushing with my feet. The rate of progress is painfully slow, but at least I am moving forward.

Closer... Closer now... It looks so much closer now. But it still seems so far off. A bit more... Drat... I... I cannot keep going. I have no strength... I scrape my armored fingers against the wet hard ground in vain. This is as far as I can go...

There has to be something I can do... I know I will die alone and I welcome it by this point. They are gone, but... My left hand. Still soaked in my blood. Yes... I know a way. If they find me, at least I can leave something behind to show them that even if they are not the same people anymore, at least I still remember what they used to be.

I reach ahead, drawing one finger along the ground. The shape... A diamond. I return my hand to the blood pooling at my side before continuing. The next shape, an apple. And then a balloon... No... My hand is shaking... I feel so weak... No, I have to keep going. Even if the shapes are crude and sloppy, I have to make them at least recognizable.

A star with six arms... Then a lightning bolt... And finally... The most precious of them all. A butterfly. They are all spread out in a circle. It is strange... I can almost...feel them. I place my hand in the center, the six crimson paintings around it. My tears flow once more, a faint smile starting to come to me. "The gang's all here..."

This is fine... It is the most I could hope for at this point. At least if someone finds me, they will know that I still held those six...wonderful mares close to my heart. But still... The pain... I have never felt more alone... And never before this empty. I have to wonder... Who really won this Ultimate Game? Discord lost his life. But I... I lost much more than that. I may have been the last one standing, but... "Looks like...you won this game after all, Discord..."

My eyes are heavy... I may as well close them and wait... I feel so...tired. At least the pain will fade soon. I will be free of it... Wait... That sound... The faint sound of hooves... Panicked breathing... Something touches me. It tenderly turns me over... Something cradles me. Something relatively small. A warm drop of fluid oozes down my cheek to my lips. Salty. A tear. Something presses against my face. A soft and thin coat... And this scent... The barely noticeable scent of water vapor... I know this scent. I know who this is... Rainbow Dash.

I struggle to force my eyes open. And there she is... She is the only one here... Her wings... They have returned to her. She clutches me in her arms. But why... I thought she... "What are you even doing out here...?"

She looks down at me. Those beautiful rose-colored eyes filled with such sorrow. Tears cascade down her face. She speaks in agony. "Don't say it... I know what you're thinking. And I'm gonna be completely honest with you. Discord never got to me, James. I never turned my back on you..."

Her colors... They are just as vibrant as when I last saw her... I feared that she too had been... I... I feel a small glimmer of relief in my heart as more tears fall. "I thought he... Like the others..."

I feel her hoof touch my cheek. So tender and soft. She sobs heavily as she tries to speak. "I know... I saw Applejack on that mirror that popped up next to me. He definitely got to her... But..." She suddenly breaks down in tears, holding her hooves to her face. "Oh my god, I can't believe you did all that! You even ate part of him! I couldn't even watch half the time! I never should've left you alone! I should've stayed with you when I found you!"

She saw everything? Discord was not joking when he said we should have an audience? All I did and said... All the blood I spilled... Thinking back... How could I have done all that... It went against everything I ever stood for... I cannot believe she witnessed that. "You must hate me..."

She looks at me once again, shaking her head. "No... I hate myself for not being there for you... We promised, darn it... We Pinkie Promised! We promised we wouldn't let this happen again! And now look at you..."

I try to reach out to her, my strength waning. She holds my right hand on her hoof, my grasp tightening. "At least you didn't break it..."

A tiny tearful smile spreads across her lips. She is choking on tears, but manages to speak. "Yeah... Element of Loyalty... That's me... Oh man, I can't believe he hid those inside himself... But...you found them. Everything's gonna be OK now..." She reaches out and places a tiny kiss on my cheek. I felt such warmth... Rainbow... I... Words cannot describe how relieved I am that I at least still have you in the end. I do not feel quite as...alone now.... "Just hang on... You know I love you... The other girls will be out here in a while and... Just... Please, hang on... You're gonna be all right, James... We'll make it up to you somehow. We'll put this all behind us and get things back to normal right away. So please... Just try to..."

She is becoming quiet... I no longer hear anything. The only sound that reaches me is a steady pounding in my ears. I feel so cold... Her expression... It is changing slowly. From sorrow to puzzlement... And now...as I feel myself going numb...I see her expression becoming one of horror as my hand falls from her hoof. She grasps me, shaking me while screaming in tears. She must be screaming... And that look in her eyes... Fear and anguish like I have never seen.

The textures in my vision are fading... All I see are shapes... And now only colors... My eyes... Everything is going black... They begin to close. Too heavy...

I feel nothing... I am not even certain if I am still drawing breath. All I hear is the pounding in my ears. A tempo of two beats every second or so. But as the seconds go by, the interval between each beat becomes longer... And longer... Slower...

Finally...it stops. The pounding does not come...

And at last...a moment or so later.....I know no more.