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I had the phone in my hand with a text box ready to be filled. Should I do this? I'm sure he wants to hang out, it's been a month since last time. I looked deeper at my phone, my eyes are unfocused. I'm always chickening out. How many times have I gone home wishing I had done things differently? Maybe I can finally do something right this time. But what if he isn't alright with it, what would he do? He'd understand, right? I like him more than anything, I'd hate to lose a friend. I'm so sick of secrets, though. After thinking a while, I knew what to do. I pull a quarter out from my pocket, and in the air I flip it. Spinning, spinning, spinning. I catch it and place my paw on my wrist. I don't even want to look. I lift my paw to reveal the familiar reptilian face of George Washington. Alright then.

"[Hey, what plans do you have for this weekend?]" Send. My eyes were glued to my phone, anxious and unblinking. "[Not much, why?]" I calm down, already busy typing my reply. "[My parents are leaving town this weekend, and I'll have the entire house to myself.]" Send. That part's true, they'll be off to a reunion and won't be back until Sunday. I just heard the news, and with it a long-winded lecture about maturity and not having friends over while they're gone. I didn't very much appreciate the idea of spending 48 hours droning around the house with nothing to do. I'd much rather be with him, and this is the perfect chance. "[Can I come over?]" I didn't even have to ask, he must be as eager as I am. "[Yes, walk home from school with me tomorrow.]" Send. This might actually work out. "[Cool, see you then.]"

I get into my bed with a grin on my muzzle. I finally get to hang out with Michael again. He does such a great job at keeping me entertained. His company is better than anyone else's. I've always been way too timid to have fun on my own, but for some reason Michael brings out a more deviant side of me. It's so incredibly liberating. He makes me feel like I'm a true animal, and I act more feral than usual when I'm around him.

I'm too excited to sleep, so I hug my pillow tight against me and think more about my acquaintance. I remember how we only met by chance, sort of. Back in eight grade, about a year ago, he had asked me to help him finish his homework. It was the class before it was due, of course. I hadn't even noticed him before then, I hadn't made friends with anyone, but after that he kept finding reasons to talk to me. We went out to see movies, hung out at each other's houses, and fun stuff like that. Eventually, hanging out with him just became natural for me, and it felt weird being in public without him. I'm glad we did too, there's no one I'd rather be with than Michael.

It's strange, He's different from me in a lot of ways. He never wastes more time than necessary on school, and mostly plays basketball and video-games with the rest. He's a lean wolf, and he keeps his grey fur short, which makes it impossible not to notice his muscular build. He's friends with most everybody he meets, and most people don't have anything bad to say about him, all except teachers, anyway. He doesn't really care for anyone who has authority, actually, and is quick to antagonize them every chance he gets. I think he spends at least two hours a week sitting in detention. Strangely enough, He's also a huge fan of watching movies, especially the classics. He likes to talk about every new film he sees.

Unlike him, I'm an absolute nerd. I work hard, but I still mostly fill my time with television and computers, not completely different from my friend. But I'm a pretty scrawny cat, couldn't lift much if I tried, and I'm pitiful on any court. Michael never seemed to notice though, he's always quick to tackle me like I was someone of his magnitude. We get vicious too, sometimes using claws and teeth. There was even one time where we ended up tossing each other into a mud puddle, before school had started. We were both drenched, and I didn't get to shower until the end of the day. He has some destructive capabilities, but I like them. I like most everything about him. His smile. His laugh. The way he taps his feet when he's bored. It's all so sweet.

Despite my hopeless affection for him, I've never said a word about liking him. It's been a year since I've felt this way, but I've told him nothing, because I've been too afraid to. Even more afraid to actually make a move on him, something like that would require actual charisma and courage, two things I've never had. It always got me into awkward situations with him, and I just embarrass myself trying to get out of it. It's the reason we really haven't done anything together recently. He and I have both been wanting to, I can tell, but neither of us had tried to set anything up, until now. Maybe I finally have a chance to show him how I feel.

We always like to hang out at each other's houses. It doesn't cost anything, and we get to sleep there, too. At his house, his parents are always very friendly to me, it's nice, but a little overbearing. It's almost as if they're always watching us, like they're waiting to see something. That's why he and I both prefer to stay at my house, where my parents usually don't pay very much attention. Especially now, when there won't be anyone at all to pay attention. We can do whatever we want. There's no one here to stop us. No one there to stop me from finally breaking my cowardice.

I'm determined to finally do something. I've always sabotaged myself, shying away from anything that requires a backbone. I can't count all the opportunities I've had; sitting tail to tail, wrestling with each other, and even a few times staring him straight in the eyes. I've seen it in all the movies, it seems simple enough. Just grab his shoulders and kiss him, right? That sounds all fine and well until you're actually there, and you fur sticks up, paws shake, and you can't breathe. I should've tried long ago to get his attention, some way or somehow. Maybe I can toughen up and do it. Maybe he does have the same feelings for me. fortuna fortibus favet, right?

I really can't wait until tomorrow.

---

In my excitement, I had forgotten to consider the eight hours of school between me and the weekend. I had to drag myself there. Michael wasn't too happy about it either. We've both just been staring at each other through each class, making gestures and learning to read lips. The last class of the day is barely crawling by, and both of us notice. My friend is across the classroom, staring out the window. After a few minutes he turns his head, but not at me. At the clock? He took up his pen and started scratching something into his notebook. Big, long strokes. He lifts and flashes his notebook open for me to see, "10 Minutes." I look over my shoulder to the clock and confirm the note. I give him a light smile, hiding my true excitement as best as I can, and keep watching the clock. 8 minutes, 5 minutes, 3 minutes, 2 minutes, 1 minute, just 1 more minute.

We're finally dismissed after what felt like an eternity of waiting. Michael darted out the classroom. I was too slow and lost track of him by the time I walked out the door. I wasn't sure where he'd went, so I just found a spot on the sidewalk outside to wait. Could he have already started walking to my house? I'd believe it. I was about to stop waiting, when an arm seized my shoulders, claws digging into my back. "Where were you, Darwin, Let's go already." He speeds down the sidewalk, dragging me with him, I move my legs as quickly as possible to keep myself from falling over. "What's the rush?" I ject. I wanted to laugh, he made a fine entrance. "I don't wann'a wait!" He finally let go of me, and slowed his pace down. I'm a little upset when he does, it was fun being dragged around by him.

I'm not sure why, but he's leading the walk to my house. Always assertive. He's carrying a conversation at the same time, but he doesn't look back to me as he talks. "You're so lucky, man, my parents never trust me with anything." They don't. They're always two feet away when he's at his house. "You are you," I tease back, my tone wet with sarcasm. He stops, turns his head back to me. "Yeah, but... why are you so calm about it. This is supposed to be awesome." There's a tinge of dissappointment in his voice. Is he upset? I'm much more excited than he can tell, I might've been hiding it too much. "It's not that big of a deal," I lie by force of habit. "But," I try to say something to make him feel better, "I still can't wait," I add with a nervous smile. He lightened up. "You're so boring some times," he jabs, his tone lifted.

We made it to my house. Michael was at the door long before I was, he had his arms folded and foot slapping the ground as he waited. It almost made me want to walk slower. I turned the key, and he leapt through the door immediately. He's so impatient. I walked behind him, finally finding him sprawled out across my bed, with his head buried in my pillows. I drop my schoolbag onto the ground and look at him. I didn't feel like arousing him, I know he'll get up eventually. I almost giggle. He looks absolutely ridiculous spread out on my bed like that. "How long are you going to be?" I ask, bored of waiting. He writhes and flips over. "As long as I want," he smiled back. "So what're we doing first, Darwin?"

I wasn't sure what to say. I hadn't planned anything at all. I had no idea what we were going to be doing today. I thought Michael would come up with something to do, he always does. "Don't know," I shrug. "Oh!" He gets up and dives into his backpack, searching for something. I guess I'm not a very good planner. Good thing he's always got something in his head. I find a spot on the bed while I wait for him to bring out his surprise. I get a pretty good look at his butt as he does so, not a bad view. Eventually he leaps around and holds out 3 thin boxes, each containing movies. He came prepared. "Glad I have you to run the show," I joke. "Yeah yeah."

He had a roundabout selection of movies. An Action, a Comedy, and a Horror. He had joined me on my bed before showing off his boxes. "I bought them the other day, haven't even watched them yet." Michael's pretty passionate about the compact disk. He's prone to start an argument every time someone mentions streaming or downloads, he says it's not as good as owning the real thing. "You need to screen them before adding to the collection?" I smirk at him. "Absolutely!" He shouts back. "Which first?" He shrugs and just grabs one at random. He set the tv and hopped back onto the bed with me. We scooted back onto the wall behind the mattress.

We're sitting side by side, back against the wall, with soft cushions under us. The DeJaVu is unnappreciated. This reminds me of the last time I was at his house. It was the closest I ever got to kissing him. We had both been watching some movies he had, of course, while on his bed, his parents periodically checking in every so often. I had made some joke, I don't even remember, something at his expense, and Michael retaliated with a playful shove. It eventually turned into a full on wrestling match. It was fun, until his mother peeked in to check on us, and there we were on his bed, me sprawled on top of him. We were staring at each other, only an inch between us, and I swear I would've gone closer if I hadn't heard that door open. It was so painfully awkward. His mother apologized, so embarrassed, and left the room. Thank them for making me feel even more hopeless. How could I try anything after that?

They weren't upset about it. Actually, they finally left us alone for the rest of the night. Michael wasn't happy though. He was more than embarrassed, and was sorry about it the whole night. That couldn't have helped his insatiable contempt for authority, but it definitely ruined the fun. All that grief and I didn't even do anything to deserve it. Since then I've been concerned about whether I should've kept trying to come out to him. He was not too pleased with what his parents saw, maybe he's homophobic, but that seems so unlike someone like him.

He's sitting only a few inches away from me. I try to look at him without him noticing, if only I had eyes on the side of my head. Should I try it now? I was almost about to move my arm, but I noticed that he hasn't talked very much, very interested in the movie, I guess. He seems unusually quiet though. Most of the time he talks through the whole movie, complaining about everything he thinks was done wrong. He can't be very appreciated at a theatre. Look at him, he's pensive. There must be something running through his head. Should I ask him? Maybe it's important.I nudge him and catch his eye. "Is something wrong," I ask, I tried to sound light, but the tone came out concerned. He turned and looked at me. "Darwin, I-" He stuttered. He was silent for a second, but returned quickly. "I'm hungry, did your parents leave any food around?" He gives me this cute little smile. "Oh, yeah probably," I laugh. That's really what was bothering him? He was so nervous about asking it. He always has food on his mind. We both get up out of the comfort of my bed and head to the kitchen. We leave with the movie still running as we left my room. Surprisingly, Michael didn't appear to care, he must not think it's a good movie.

"So what food do you have?" He's already sifting through cabinets. "I don't know, whatever is laying around." He scoured the shelves, pulling out most everything with sugar or cheese. I'm sure we have actual food around the house, but he wouldn't be interested in anything that would require actual preparation. "Pop-Tarts, Crackers and Cheese, Oatmeal Cookies, and tea, is that all you have?" Is he really complaining? It's all that he could ever want. "Yeah, that's all the food in my whole house," I jab with sarcasm. He scoffs and carries the plunders into my room and piles them onto my bed, and then he tosses himself onto my bed and bogardes both of my pillows. He let me lay down next to him, and we both began to eat.

We talk through the rest of the movie, and the next one, too. "What'd you get on that Geometry Test?"..."Have you played the new CoD?"..."Did you see the quarters glued to the bathroom stalls?" We hadn't had a good chance to talk to each other in a while. It took some time, but we managed to eat everything that Michael had scavenged. I started picking up all the wrappers and boxes, my OCD self, all while he was giving me this sly little look. Not sure what that's about. I roll my eyes and turn my back to him to throw the garbage into the can.

Suddenly, before I could turn around, I felt a sharp cold sting in my pants. It was ice! I frantically dug into my pants trying to get it out with no avail. I had to resort to dropping my pants to pull out the cubes. It almost made me shiver. I take the ice and beam it at Michael, giving him an angry stare. He's got a devilish grin on his face, almost about to burst into laughter. "So not cool!" I spit. "No, it was cold," he chokes on his own laughter. He's still got a wide smirk on his muzzle. "What?" I ask. With a hand covering his smile, he points at my pants. I just now notice that they're hanging halfway down my thighs. I adjust myself, and as I do I start smiling. Then laughing. Laughing loudly, with Michael.

Michael tries to get up from the bed, but I push him back down. "Sit, dog!." I order him. "Cat's don't give orders," he says as he gets back up and pulls me down with him. We throw each other around for quite a few minutes. Our battle ends with him on top of me, pinning my arms down. He was growling, I hissing, playfully, but we both slowly quieted down, looking at each other. He's staring right into my eyes. I look into his, they're blue. Should I try to... no. A few seconds of silence pass, I start to realize how silly I feel. He's starting to look flustered too. A few mumbles escape us but I make the first words. "You win," I finally said, if for no other reason than to break the silence. I try to chuckle, but I just sound incredibly nervous. He blinks a few times, and puts on a smile. He musters a laugh. "Giving up so quickly?" he tries to joke. "No, heh, but I'm-" I think up a lie, "about to piss myself," I let out more tentative giggles. I crawl out from under him in the most awkward way possible and try to hurry to my bathroom. I left him frozen on my bed. I tried to hide it, but I know he could see how distraught I really was.

I lock the door and look into the mirror. My ears are all stiff, fur raised on end. It's just like last time. At least my parents didn't see, I would laugh if I wasn't so scared. I can't believe I did that again. I calm myself down, eventually, and think about what I'm going to do. Tell a joke? Play a game? More wrestl- no, that'd make it worse. I sat down against the sink and thought for a minute about what I was going to do. There was my courage, running away when faced with him. I should've just done it. The chance is gone. Now I probably freaked him out. I need to do something to make him feel better.

It's been about 5 minutes, he's not stupid, he knows why I left. I can make it better. I hope. I walk back into my room, inciting a flinch from my friend, who must have been patiently, or fearfully, awaiting my return. "Oh, you're back." His voice shook. "Yeah," I say, with a smile on my face. I sit down next to him on my bed, my paw hidden behind my back with a closed fist. "Listen, I uh-" I interrupt him, throwing my fist into his front collar with an entire handful of ice. "Tag!" I say. He panics and writhes, trying to free the ice from his tight shirt. When he does he laughs, laughs with me. No more anxiety. No more fear. No more silence. I finally did something right.

After a while we were lounging on my bed. "What d'you wann'a do now?" He asked. "I dunn'o, you want to watch that horror movie." "No, and I think it's a musical, like something about trannies." He says thoughtfully. "Let's not watch that movie," "'tis a silly movie," Michael finishes. We both laugh. We always get bored like this, eventually. We toss back ideas but don't come up with any, it's already dark out. "Wann'a go outside? It's a full moon tonight." "That sounds awesome," I reply. We walk out the front door and sit on a cushioned bench on my porch. We could see the bright moon easily from there, along with most of the stars that are visible in the suburbs. The air is cool with a slight breeze, and the sky is clear of any clouds, a typical night in spring. It's very... romantic.

It's been almost 20 minutes and neither of us have said anything. I don't mind, honestly, this moment is so nice. His shoulder is resting against mine, and his tail is waving behind us, periodically tapping mine. I shouldn't ask for anything more, but I just want it so much. "I had a lot of fun tonight," I said, breaking a peaceful silence. "Yeah," is all he said. He's nervous. "It's so cold out." It wasn't really, but it's the most obvious hint I could muster. I lean a little more on his shoulder, trying to get him to do something. "Oh, yeh, maybe we should go back in." He jerks up a little too quickly, making me fall sideways slightly. No, damnit. I really want to stay out here. "Are you sure?" I can't force him to stay. I wish I could. "Y-yeah, I'm getting tired." I get up reluctantly, and we go back in.

There wasn't much left to do anyway. It was 11 pm and I was pretty tired too. I was surprised though, usually Michael always finds some excuse to stay up late. It's a habit he's had at every sleepover. It's how he chooses to rebel against the invisible authority, always keeping him down. I'd always end up being forced to stay awake with him. As entertaining as he was when deprived of sleep, I don't enjoy staying up late. His compliance was a bit of a relief. He was laying out blankets on my floor, what we always do instead of trying to share my twin sized bed.

Everything seemed to be set, and it was going to be a pleasant end to a fun day. "Hey, Darwin, where's that other pillow?" I thought I had two, I always did. I looked around and confirmed his concern. I only had one of them, and the other wasn't in sight. We both scour my room. Not in the closet. Not under my bed. "I don't know, dude." We both stand there for a minute. He looks incredibly tentative, and sounds it too. "Mind if I just share the one with you?" His voice shook a little. The question was well received, though. I gave him a smile, a nervous one. Sharing a pillow with him, sleeping with him that close to me, I certainly liked the idea. "Sure, that'd be fine." I try not to let on any excitement, but maybe I wasn't perfectly stoic.

Shoes off. Lights off. We both lay down on the blanket padded floor. We spent a few minutes talking, nothing special. I wasn't even paying attention to the conversation, but instead kept thinking about my friend. My pillow isn't that big. We're shoulder to shoulder. It was a really nice feeling, being so close to him. I kept thinking about it. I imagined even further. What if I put my arm around him? What if I hugged him? Carressed him? Even... Kissed him? I'm to afraid. I've been painfully anxious this whole day, and every other attempt I've made hasn't worked out the best.

We're still talking, but our words die out into the night. I'm still awake long after, thinking. Not about just now, but today as a whole. Last month, when the incident with his parents happened. Even before that. Why couldn't I just be more brave. At least then I'd know. Something, I think to myself, do something. I move my arm, slowly, lurching near him. It's right next to his arm. I move my hand around his, locking the padded digits of our paws. Before I could enjoy it, Michael gets up. He shifts and turns to me, head tilted down. He tries to say something, but stutters. "Darwin... your other pillow is-," his words are shaken. "it's in the livingroom." I'm not sure what to say, I'm too confused, why is he telling me this? "Oh, uh, we can go get-" I start to get up as I speak but He interupts me before I can finish, grabbing and holding my arm still. "I put it there. I took it because, because I wanted to be-," He's forcing these words out, "close to you." His grip moved up my arm to my shoulder. "I cant stand hiding it," he added. I felt so warm hearing that. He wanted to be close to me? I try to say something, anything. "I- I liked being c-close to you too." I was stuttering as bad as he was. He smiled. "I'm s-sorry I was such a chicken about it." I looked at him, he returned the look. "I'm sorry I was such a pussy about it." I said, laughing. He laughed too, without anxiety. All that pressure was lifted, from both of us.

We looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds. I wasn't going to screw this up, not now. I put one arm around his waist, then another. He took both of my shoulders. We drifted closer. Closer. Closer. I could see his eyes start to close, right before mine did too. It's finally happening I thought. Our muzzles touched. Then, I stopped thinking. I was just enjoying, feeling, holding. I never wanted it to end, but it did. we separated, after a while, and I couldn't have been more ecstatic. We pulled together again and hugged. He squeezed me tight, and I did too. We lied back down and covered ourselves with sheets. We were together, on our one pillow, it's all we needed. I was as close as I could be to him, arm wrapped tight around his waist, my cheek buried in his soft tuft of chest fur. It was my first time cuddling anyone, and what a feeling. Much better than cuddling a pillow. "Goodnight," he whispered, I said the same back. It was a great night.

I wish I didn't have fall asleep. I wish this moment could be forever.