Serious Feelings and Close Calls
#4 of Straight For All but You
I squeezed Akalu's shoulder. He was clearly tense, and for that, I didn't blame him. He was about to be reunited with his lost lover, Sasha. Just to refresh your memory, she was Akalu's closest girlfriend he'd ever had. Well, at least she was until her father overheard Akalu overcoming a fear of his, which was stating to Sasha that he was slightly bisexual. Upon overhearing that, the father promptly moved the family to the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. He was devastated. Akalu's a very emotional, and sensitive person, and you can imagine how hard he took it. Now, six months later, she returned to the States. Akalu and I had developed a sexual relationship during that time, he was on the verge of letting her go, but here she was. Akalu, overcome with both joy and indecisiveness, decided to visit her, but asked me to go with him so it would relieve some tension.
To be honest, if my presence there relieved tension in him, then I can't imagine how tense he would have been if I wasn't there! So here we were, standing in front of the door of the house that Sasha gave Akalu directions for. It was an average, suburban house with red brick walls, two stories, black shingles, a white collumn on either side of the doorway, and the black door with the brass knocker in front of which Akalu and I now stood. I took a deep breath, and looked to Akalu. "Do it, man," I said, "she's your girl..."
Akalu nodded, took a deep breath, and took three steps to the door. Once he got to the door, he lifted the brass knocker, and knocked it three times. We heard a bit of commotion from inside the door, and then footsteps walking towards the door. "Hey, Akalu," I said. Akalu turned his head towards me. "...want me to head off, so you two can spend quality time together?"
Akalu thought a second. "Um... sure... I mean, nothing personal, but it might look like you convinced me to come here..."
I smiled. "None taken, dude. Go on, I'll skidaddle outta here."
Just before the door opened, I made an about-face, spread out my wings, and took off from the front porch and ascended into the sky, and out of view of the front door. After about two minutes, I was a far enough away from the house that I probably looked like another bird in the sky. I looked back at the house, and smiled, silently wishing the best for Akalu. He and Sasha had had such a close relationship, and I hoped, for his sake, that he could pick up where he left off with her.
I soon landed back at my house, and I headed in to relax a bit. I wasn't entirely sure what I intended to do, since it was around noon, so I called some of my friends to see if they wanted to do anything. It was a Saturday, after all. So I called Arkonas, Justin, and Sylvia, and asked. I got mostly good ideas from all of them, and after a little discussion, we settled on going over to our favorite sports bar and grill, and then playing it by ear from there.
Soon enough, the four of us found ourselves at the Wingin' It Bar and Grill, sitting at a table where we were browsing the menu. Of course, being a sports bar, it was crowded and loud in there, with a lot of flatscreen TVs on every single wall. I recall that we got there at roughly the same time, and once we did get there, it wasn't too long before we ordered food and drinks. Honestly, nothing terribly interesting happened there. All we really did was eat, talk a bit, and watch some of the sporting events on the many TVs in the place.
It was about an hour and a half later that all of us paid the check and went home. It was after I gave Sylvia a good-night kiss and watched her drive away that I got a call on my cell phone. I looked at the screen, and I saw that it was Akalu who was calling. Anxious to know what happened between him and Sasha, I quickly flipped it open and pressed the speaker to my ear.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hey, Karnath," Akalu's familiar voice replied.
"Hey, man. How'd things with Sasha go?" I asked.
There was a pause.
"Akalu?" I asked.
"Um, let's put it this way: she's still fine with the fact that I'm bi."
"Well, that's good," I said, "but I sense there was a downside..."
"Yeah..." he continued, "I neglected to tell her about... you know, what we've been doing for the past few months."
I thought on it for a second. "Well, are you worried that she's not going to like that fact?" I asked, "or is it something else...?"
Another pause, but this time, Akalu broke it.
"I'm worried that it might ruin things between... well, us..." he explained.
My eyes widened for a second. Then I got thinking a bit. Did he love me more than he did Sasha, or did we just come to the realization that it's really difficult to be "just friends" and have a sexual relationship at the same time without at least one person being hurt emotionally? Maybe he, like I with Sylvia, felt that being with one would be cheating on the other. But then again... did he consider himself to be my lover after all this time?
I realized that all this time we were sexually involved with each other, I only thought of reminding myself that we're only friends, not lovers. I don't think I ever made it clear to Akalu that we weren't lovers, really... maybe he viewed our relationship as a sort of secret love affair.
"...Karnath?"
I jumped, being suddenly severed from my deep thought state of mind. I looked around, and I realized I had entirely forgotten that I was still in the parking lot of the restaurant, and that it was getting cold. I got into my car and focused again on the converstaion with Akalu.
"Sorry about that," I said, "just... thinking a bit, that's all."
"Well," he said, "here's another way to put it... well, see, I had actually gotten over Sasha some weeks before we had our first experience," he explained, "but the yearning for love didn't fade. I guess my natural reaction was to turn to the one person who I trusted the most, which was you... and now, it's almost as if I just met her. I want to love her, but I just... can't seem to pull it out..."
I put the phone on speaker, set it down on the passenger seat of the car, pressed two fingers to each of my temples and closed my eyes. "Does she love you, still?" I asked.
"I think she does," he replied, "but it doesn't seem to be as strong as before she left. Maybe she got over me..."
"I wouldn't go that far," I said, "but I'd take it slowly. Maybe it'll take some time to re-kindle that -"
"Karnath," he interrupted. I opened my eyes.
"Yes?" I said.
"... I..." he stammered, then took a deep breath. "Karnathiloveyou."
I froze. All I could hear was my breathing and some static from the phone.
"...uh..." I managed to whisper just loud enough to be picked up by the phone's mic.
"I do," he said, "and very much, at that. I've never had a love for someone that passionate before, and I love it! I can't help myself!"
I listened, still. Him proclaiming his love for me almost made me cry.
"I... I want you... I wanna be with you... and making love with you is the best feeling in the world!" he proclaimed, sounding to be on the brink of tears. I didn't blame him; I was, too.
I managed to keep a straight voice, though. "Akalu," I began, "are you at home?"
"Y-yes," he replied.
"I'll see you there."
The drive to Akalu's house was almost eternal, but getting to Akalu's house made it worth the wait. I stopped my car in front of his house, and found Akalu in the doorway, waiting for me. Immediately, he ran towards me. I welcomed him with open arms, and when we met, we kissed passionately. The passion we felt in it reflected exactly how much we felt for each other. I guess by then I had thrown the whole percentage thing out the window.
Unable to stop the kiss, I picked him up and carried him in my arms inside as we continued our passionate liplock. Once inside, I walked up the steps and to his room (I'd been to his house many times before, so I knew its layout by heart), and when we got there, I set him down on the bed, and we broke the kiss. The windows were already closed with the curtains drawn, and I had closed the door behind me with my foot, so we felt very safe in the privacy of his room provided for us. There was a single lamp on in the room, which gave enough light for us to see clearly, but the lampshade cast the room around it in a slightly dark yellow tone. His bed was rather messy, as he probably hadn't made it at least since he woke up that morning, but it didn't matter that much at the moment.
Without much hesitation, we both threw all our clothes off any which way, and I fell onto the bed with Akalu. Akalu had a nice body; his fur showing all the markings of a typical German Shepherd, with a black "saddle" shape on his back, a very tan belly, and was pretty slender. We stared at each other's bodies for a while, just lavishing in the fact that each of our bodies belonged to the other, that we wanted that body to be with us all the time. I put a hand on his chest and ran it down the right side of it. His fur was smooth, and soft. Akalu did the same to mine, and I again enjoyed the feeling of his soft, padded hands running along my scales.
Our eyes soon wandered to each other's private areas, and we saw that each of us were seriously aroused. We knew exactly what we wanted. I pulled his head to mine to kiss again, and we did for a minute or two. Once we broke it, I moved his body so that his feet were facing me, and I got on my knees. Before I could do anything else, however, Akalu got on his hands and knees, like a non-morphic dog, and looked back at me with his tongue lolling out of his mouth. "C'mon, Karnath," he panted, "show me how much you really love me!" he ordered me. I couldn't help but comply. He looked exactly like how a non-morphic female dog begs for sex from her mate. And that, I gotta say, was an amazing feeling, to be wanted in such a carnal way, told so in such a feral manner... I loved it, and I gave in to seriously primal lust.
I decided to play a bit of a trick on him, though. I put my hand on his left butt cheek, pretending to be about to mount him, but instead, I put my head between his legs and gave his balls a short suck, and then moved to his throbbing cock. Akalu gasped at the pleasure, and his legs almost gave out from under him. When I moved to taking all of his cock into my mouth, I gave him the most loving blowjob I could have given him. Akalu moaned in pleasure at it, and I continued to do so, my head bobbing forward and back on his slick cock, all the way to the knot, and all the way back to the head. Right before he would have orgasmed, I stopped. His panting slowed a bit, but I let him know that I wasn't done. I put my right hand on the other side of his ass, this time really intending to do it.
"Wait," went Akalu. He slowly turned himself onto his back. I got the point. He wanted to do this the face-to-face style. I could tell already that I was gonna love this. I positioned myself in between his legs with my cock at his opening. I wasted little time in penetrating him fully with the full length of my cock, as that was what he wanted so badly with all of his primal lust. Akalu yelped a bit, but it was silenced when I moved my snout to his muzzle and kissed his canine lips, a kiss which he returned to me lovingly as I thrust in and out of him with such a feral drive. We kissed the entire time, stopping only when I made a final thrust all the way to orgasm into his ass, depositing my seed into my lover, who milked my cock dry. Then, almost at the same time, he blew his own load onto my belly. It was an insanely pleasurable experience, not only physically, but emotionally, too.
Then, he pulled off of my cock, being done with having it inside of him. But what he did next surprised me; he gently rolled me onto my back, and I felt the tip of his cock at the opening to my own anus. He paused for a moment. "You... want to?" he asked me.
Remembering that I no longer cared about the percentage crap, I nodded. He wasted no time in fufilling his own desire to make love to me, and he drove his doggy cock into my ass, and I gasped with both pain and pleasure. If anything made me realize that I actually loved Akalu, this was it. I was actually OK with him screwing my ass. So I let him pump me, and even allowed him to thrust his knot into me, which he did not too long after penetrating me. It was painful, but like spicy food, the pain was quickly replaced with pleasure, and then even more pleasure when Akalu moaned with immense pleasure of his own, and blasted his own sperm into my ass. I couldn't take much more of this, apparently, and I passed out, with the last thing I saw being Akalu's face.
When I woke up, it was already morning. "Wow..." I said, "did I sleep that whole time?"
A familiar voice chimed in, "You sure did," it replied, "and I was worried at first, but when I saw that you were still breathing, I relaxed."
I looked in the direction of the voice, and saw Akalu. I smiled. "You were great last night, by the way," I said, "I never thought I'd do that, but I'm glad I did... it was great."
Akalu smiled back. "Glad you enjoyed it," he said, giving me a small kiss on the cheek. "Also," he added, standing up from the bed, "my parents are home, but by the looks of things, they got here while we were asleep. And before you ask, yes, I left them a note about you being over here so they wouldn't wonder why your car was out front."
I smiled. "Always thinking ahead... I like that. Thanks, man."
"Any time," he replied, "C'mon, let's get dressed," he added, tossing me my shirt that I had discarded last night, before our romp. I smiled and put it on, and then went to my other clothes.
Once I finished getting dressed, Akalu let me know that his parents probably wouldn't want me over the entire day, so I had to go. I gave him a final kiss (secretly, of course) before I left for the car and drove home. There wasn't a whole fuss about it with my parents when I got there, seeing that I was 18, and technically an adult, but there was a slight air of suspicion among my parents. I could tell that they suspected that I did something I wouldn't want to go public about, but they couldn't tell what it was. I kept quiet about the whole thing, and just told them I went to Akalu's house to "help him out with some stuff."
The day passed uneventfully until later that night, when I got a call from Akalu.
"Karnath," he said, "I did it. I told her."
"Told her?" I asked, "you mean Sasha? And about what?"
"Yes," he answered, "and about... the whole thing between us."
I gulped. "...And... what did she say?"
"She... didn't take it too well at first, let's just say," he began, "but she did, however, admit that she found it sexy!" he finished, laughing at the end.
I started laughing a bit, but it died down quickly.
"Karnath?" Akalu said.
"I'll call you back, I gotta go," I replied, and hung up the phone. I then dialed Sylvia's number. The phone on the other end rang twice until it was picked up. "Hello?" went the voice at the other end.
"Sylvia?" I asked.
"One sec..." said the other voice. There was a rustling, and some faint voices, until Sylvia's voice could be heard.
"Yes...?" she said.
"Hey, Sylvia," I said, in a very comforting tone, "are you OK?"
"Sasha told me... about you and Akalu," she said, "I... I never wold've guessed it... you sure had us all fooled, I must admit."
Uh-oh... I thought
"So I took the liberty to break the news to Arkonas and Justin," she added.
[Damnit!] I exclaimed in Draconian, holding the phone away from my mouth as I did.
"...and not that I'm homophobic or anything, but it's a little disturbing to know that you've... well, been banging Akalu all this time," she continued.
I am so dead, I thought.
"We can still be friends," she added, "but as much as I'm OK with you two being bi and all, I still feel like you've cheated on me. Unless there's a good reason for me to believe otherwise, we're through."
"Wait-" I began, but I was cut off by the phone on the other end hanging up. My hands' muscles loosened, and my phone slid out of my hands, hitting the floor and causing the battery to pop out of it. I fell to my knees, crossed my arms on my bed, and rested my face on them. I could feel my arms starting to get wet and slippery from my tears, and I just couldn't stop them from coming. I wondered why it had to happen like this.
Look, a part of my conscience told me, did you seriously think that she'd never find out about that? I had to agree. It's hard to keep something like the relationship I shared with Akalu a secret for long.
You only really had two options, my conscience continued, you either had to end it with Akalu, or end it with Sylvia. Someone was inevitably going to get hurt from this. Turns out that it was both you and Sylvia.
Then what should I do? I thought back.
Either end it with Akalu and pray that Sylvia will forgive you when you go back to her on your hands and knees to beg for forgiveness, find some way to tell her that you still care about her, and she may be able to forgive you, or you could not get all worked up about the break-up.
I certainly wasn't going to let it go that easily, and I honestly didn't know how I'd end it with Akalu. So, I thought on it a bit, and decided that I should at least try to show Sylvia that I still care about her. As much as I loved Akalu, I did love Sylvia. I needed a way to preserve all our relationships, but I knew from the start it was going to be hard to have two intimate friends at the same time. She had good reason to be angry at me; even I had to admit that it felt like cheating in the back of my mind. I had to do something to reconcile what I had done, but for now, I didn't know what to do.
Then I thought of something: Sylvia was the only person who I openly showed my love for, and I never once felt shame for loving her. Maybe that was what I didn't want to lose: the ability to show love shamelessly.
That's it! I thought.
"A-e an, thor-a... la-ahn thae, der-a..." I sang quietly. It was part of a song I was putting together, written in Draconian, of course. It was a simple tune, really, but it was something from the heart. It had been about two weeks since Sylvia broke up with me over the phone, and I still hadn't gotten over her. Well, not like I really wanted to, anyway.
Oh yeah, and since Sylvia told Arkonas and Justin about the whole thing between Akalu and me, here were their reactions: Justin, of course, already knew pretty much all about it. Arkonas, though, was pretty shocked. He didn't know what to think, at first, but he soon just accepted it and for the most part seemed OK with it. I hadn't talked to Sasha about it, but at the time, I didn't know what I would say. Akalu, though, was surprised when he found out that Sasha had told Sylvia, who then told Arkonas and Justin. Still, things seemed to be going fine between Akalu and Sasha, even after that.
Anyway, when I finished going over the song I wrote for about a half hour, I stood up. A year ago, the idea of seranading Sylvia would have been laughable. Now, however, I was about to do it. As I drove out to Sylvia's house, I got a call from Akalu. I half wanted to ignore it, but the last thing I wanted to do was hurt more people that I cared about. So, I flipped the phone open and put it to my ear. "Hello?" I said.
"Karnath..." said Akalu's voice, "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not knowing that Sasha would tell Sylvia, I'm sorry that Sylvia broke up with you, and I'm sorry that..." he stopped.
"Go on, Akalu," I said, "what were you going to say?"
"... I'm sorry that I seduced you," he said, flatly, "I now realize that I probably inticed you to cheat on Sylvia, and I should've kept my sexual desires at bay. It's all my fault..."
"Listen, Akalu," I said, "it isn't your fault," I sighed, "Maybe you, Sasha and I can talk about it in person sometime soon. I think we'd resolve everything a little better that way."
"OK, Karnath," he replied, "how about tomorrow?"
"Sure..." I said, then stopped when I pulled up to Sylvia's house, "I gotta go. I'll see you then."
I hung up the phone and pocketed it. The house seemed to be an intimidating fortress, daring anyone to try to break in. But maybe that was just my nerves. I opened the door and stepped out of my car. Taking a deep breath, I walked to the front door, and knocked. I heard footsteps, and then the deadbolt of the door unlocking. Then the door opened, revealing Sylvia, standing there in a camo green tank top and jeans. The "mask" around her eyes seemed a bit darker than usual, and her tail seemed to be a bit more frazzled than I remembered. Somehow, she also seemed surprised and not surprised at the same time. Maybe she expected me to come, but not this soon. She extended her right arm and used it to lean against the side of the doorway, still staring at me. An awkward silence followed for about a minute.
"Hey, Sylvia," I said nervously, breaking the silence.
Sylvia just nodded in response.
I urged myself to spit out what I was going to say. "Listen," I began, "I know I did a bad thing. I can't imagine how you felt, and-"
Sylvia cut me off, "I know what you did, Karnath," she said, "and I felt like shit, OK? Look, I know what it feels like to be cheated on. It's happened to me before I met you. But when it's with another male, it's worse. I always thought 'Oh, it's never going to happen to me,' but I was wrong," her eyes started to water, "and I really would like to know why... why did you do it?"
There was a lump in my throat. Fortunately, I had a feeling that this question would come up, so I had prepared my story for this so I wouldn't stumble and sound like I was lying. I explained to her how close Akalu and I had been before it started, and all about how it did start, and explained how I felt it to be my responsibility as a friend to help him. I told her that despite the fact that I was having sex with Akalu, I still genuinely loved her.
"...and even now, I do," I concluded, "and if there's anything... anything I can do to make amends... then I'll do it. Please..." I felt like I was about to break down and cry, and soon enough, I felt a tear streak down my face.
Sylvia wiped her eyes. She seemed a bit moved, but not entirely convinced. I dropped to my knees and hung my head, putting a hand on my face. "Please," I said again, "anything..."
I waited. Half waiting to hear the ugly sound of rejection, half hoping to hear the beautiful choir of forgiveness. I felt Sylvia's hand touch my chin, and gently lift up on it. I tilted my head up, and saw her face. I braced for the worst.
Fortunately, the worst didn't come. Sylvia leaned down to me and put her lips to mine. We kissed briefly, and I had my eyes closed all the while, and when it stopped, I opened them again. Sylvia was smiling a bit, even though the fur around her eyes was still wet. She then motioned her head inside the door. "C'mon in," she said.
It was as if my lungs had been overinflated for a long time, and they just now were deflated to a comfortable level. Sylvia extended her hand, and when I took it, she helped me up to my feet, and we headed inside. Her house was a lot more dimly lit than I remembered from the last time I was there, likely due to her hurt feelings lately. She did, however, change that when we walked in, as she flipped on a couple more lights, making the room much brighter. She sat down on the left side of one of the couches in the living room and patted the space next to her for me to sit down on. So I did, and she took my hand. "You know," she began, "once I got past the initial shock of what happened, I got thinking... and I remembered when I was much younger and first realized that I hated the female gender role. The feminine clothes, the hair styling, the high heels that I despised... I rejected all of it. When I learned about the whole puberty thing, and later about same-sex couples, I picked up a different reason for wearing the masculine clothes..." she explained. There was a pause for a moment. I guess she had never said what she was going to say to anyone else before now. She continued, "I guess you could say that I started to dress like boys because I wanted to... well... physically be one."
She squeezed my hand. I squeezed back. "So," I concluded, "you wanted to be a guy so you could be gay?"
She nodded. "Of course, I didn't tell anyone that because the guys would've taken it the wrong way... and I guess I gave up on trying to start a relationship with another guy for that reason after a couple of them didn't work out."
I lifted her hand to my face, and I kissed it. Sylvia smiled. "I'm perfectly fine with that, Sylvia..."
Sylvia put her head on my shoulder. After a few minutes of silence, she asked, "You know how you said you'd do anything for me?"
"Anything," I replied, practically whispering.
Sylvia took a deep breath, then cleared her throat for the request.
-TO BE CONTINUED-
Author's note: Yes, I admit that I'm a bit of a sucker for happy endings. XD