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Addiction

Chapter Fifteen

Raising the Bar

By:

Rufus Quentin

November, 1998

When it first happened, we couldn't even look at each other for almost two weeks and we did everything to stay out of each other's way. Just as I had myself convinced it was a fluke, a story of teenage hormones gone wrong, we let it happen again. Again I found myself in the forest, lying naked and light headed beside my spent brother, panting for air that didn't seem to satiate, feeling his cum grow cool on my belly. And it was just as awkward afterward, but just not for as long. The buttoning back up of a shirt with fingers still tingling from orgasm, the silent slip of my boxers up legs so weak and wobbly, I could barely stand, and the wordless walk home devoid of eye contact became a little bit of a habit. On those walks home, just after the sun set behind the hills, we carried with us the frightening knowledge that we committed incest not just once, but twice, and the even more terrifying realization that neither of us had the power to keep ourselves from letting it happen again.

It happened a third time on the eve of our SATs. The armor of resistance I'd built collapsed. I seemed to awake stretched spread-eagle beside my brother, naked, post-coital, wearing nothing but a few streaks of his cum. The shyness that normally prevented me from letting myself be seen so bare, so explicit, so sexual, somehow didn't motivate me to cover up, losing to sheer exhaustion. Limbs tingled and felt weak. The beat of my heart still thumped in my ears. Little aftershocks quivered through my belly with increasingly longer intervals. Over the course of the next half hour, until the deadline came where we would have to race home to be home before our father, my brother kissed practically every inch of my body, my breasts, my belly, my hands, my flanks, and my sex. It seemed as if every little imprint his lips left behind an invisible little scale of armor, as if his kisses dressed me in the suit of mail I'd need to overcome a very terrifying and lonely world, one in which I didn't have the innocence I'd given away to my very own brother to protect me. The next day we sat together, unable to even look at each other in the back seat of our grandfather's car as he drove us to Huntington for our SATs.

Then it just kept happening and the intervals of awkwardness between got shorter, a week, and then just three days, until a single day of shame was enough penance. I can't explain it. We knew it was wrong, I think we both really felt burden on our conscience, and keep in mind, we were in High School. Surviving High School is all about being normal or staying under the radar. Here we were, pretending to fit in, then scooting off to do the weirdest, most taboo thing possible. It was probably on par with being gay, which was the worst thing you could be back there. We totally knew that it was a complete and utter reputation ender, which should have been motivation enough to quit. But we didn't. The only thing we quit was the struggle.

When our clothes came on I did my best as usual to perform as my old self, an innocent, young adult collie. I went to school. I chatted with my friends in the same manner as before. Bryn, Amanda, the others and I met in the halls, the stoops out front, and in the cafeteria and traded the usual high school banter. At times Dustin left my mind, as did the recent memories of incest. I bloomed back into a normal eighteen year old, but it just took a change of topic, or some accidental non sequitur association for a mental image to illuminate my synapses with a reminder that I'd done something immeasurably unspeakable.

We let it get out of hand when nobody noticed. Our biggest fear was to get caught. As the weeks went by and nobody noticed, not our dad, not our brother, not even our closest friends at school, we started to get bolder. The bus would drop us off, we would go to our spot, fuck, go home, do homework, and if it was still light enough, we would even go back and fuck again. We had enough sense to take precautions not to get noticed. We never did anything at home at first, aside from a swift kiss, a discrete touch, or an expressive glance. At school we acted like all but strangers. We feared our classmates the most, the gossip mill, the harshness, and the prying preoccupation with anything out of the ordinary which rivaled the most severe of totalitarian state-observation apparatuses. The only thing that changed was that we began to eat lunch together. I guess we just discovered that we were more interesting to one another than the small-talk of our friends. Aside from a snide remark here or there, no one bothered us. By mid November, we were shameless.

After I gave up fighting whatever it was that attracted me to my brother, one other major concern bothered me. We weren't using protection. Dustin always pulled out, but that wasn't exactly pleasant for either of us. I knew enough to know that the withdrawal method isn't fool proof, but the pill was out of the question. Where the hell was I gonna get birth control from in West Virginia and how the hell was I gonna pay for it? Condoms were the logical solution, but there was only one place in a fifty mile radius we could get them, namely the gas station down on the highway about seven miles away. It was operated by a Mr. Hathaway, and had been for our entire lives. The gas station was also a general store of sorts where the entire town stocked up on basics when no one felt like driving 45 more miles to the first decent supermarket. Mr. Hathaway happened to be a friend of our father's. If one of us bought condoms there, the whole town would know about it in a fortnight, and our dad would be the first.

So we went bare most of the time, like pretty much everyone else in our neighborhood. It was no wonder our state ranked in the top ten highest in teen pregnancy. What were we going to do? Risk being discovered or risk getting knocked up? Our paradoxical situation was made worse for obvious reasons. Having been a straight A student my entire life made me arrogant. Good grades meant intelligence and intelligence meant willpower, and a combination of all those things meant I was immune to ending up like the sluts, who according to rumor, liked to take the knot a little too often. I'd gotten to know my brother well enough to recognize that he was no fool either. So when we fucked, or made love, I'm not entirely sure what to call it, unprotected, we did so with the confidence that nothing bad would ever happen. We were different than all the rest.

On an afternoon after such things became commonplace my brother and I were out fucking again, urgently and insatiably making it seem as though the future of our breed were at stake. This time our shame filled period of reflection lasted a mere hour or so. By suppertime the day before Dustin was making eyes for me from across the room. I could tell by the flicker in his gaze exactly how the fucker wanted to have me. I wished he wouldn't look at me that way. Those kinds of glances had a way of reprioritizing my immediate wants and needs to the point I could almost see myself on my back with my foot-paws up in the air, ankles crossed behind my wildly thrusting brother's back. Those thoughts and their bio-physical expression between my thighs made it hard to concentrate on a damn thing. If this kept up, which it almost certainly would, a day would come where there would be no remorse at all.

The totality of nature bore witness to our defiance against our own bloodline. The rush of wind and the dissonant creak of nearly bare trees whispered the only protest we'd ever heard against our misdeeds. Our fur proved poor camouflage in the ever more barren forest. The white of our coats shone like clouds, clear and crisp, wisps of silver swaying in ceaseless fury. Dustin's hips flexed in rapid succession, producing wet smacks as he fiercely attempted to bury his knotted collie dick into my presented pussy. I writhed beneath him, bouncing back at him with limbs beckoning him nearer, and doing my part to make this taboo pleasing for us both.

He was close to cumming and so was I, but I knew he was closer. I could tell by his breathing, the short and rapid pants often with a vulgar gasp among them, that he had found his trigger and just needed a few more desperate passes to get off. Dustin was good about pulling out. He always did it and never complained. Not once did he even hint that he wanted to take the risk. Because of that I trusted him deeply. So I knew our latest session was coming to a close when I could feel him shifting, his paw moving off my shoulder to give him the last needed strokes the moment he slipped out. He braced himself for those last satisfying thrusts, taking advantage of all I offered him for as long as he could last.

He felt great. His strong upper body hovered over me. His muzzle nibbling on the spots on my neck and cheek he knew I liked. All the while his hot breath panted on me in a way I found immensely sexy. His knot pounded against my intimates with enough force to send my body rocking, and his girth reached the perfect depth to make me feel stretched deep down to places I barely understood. Like some dark and primal urge, I needed him to keep going, badly. Just before he was ready to get off, perhaps a critical second too late, I reached out and grabbed fur on his hip in desperation, squeezing to bide for a little more time, begging him to hold on for just another moment, and give me just a few more urgently needed bucks.

A moan muffled into my fur as those requested thrusts found home. Only in those few short seconds as each buck grew more powerful and desperate than the last did I realize what the tuft of fur clutched in my paw meant, and what would happen next. My muzzle quivered open, but all I could articulate was a gasp before Dustin's last and most forceful motion rammed his knot against my labia and pressed against me in midst of orgasmic twitches. My pussy clenched around the throbbing fullness, around the feeling of my brother's pulsing cock. My ears began to ring in that very instant. Shockwaves echoed though my body from the place Dustin's knot struck, to my whiskers, my curled toes, and jerking tail-tip. The growing awareness of the risky illicitness happening within me, at the slight, perhaps imagined, flow of warmth into the core of my body completely and utterly sent me over the edge.

Too much happened all at once, too much to manage. I comprehended everything, down to the shouts of panic and warning of my internal rational voice, to the more frightening urges that trumped her and that kept the words in my throat and my body from pulling away. My paws desperately reaffirmed their hold on Dustin, clenching fur and pulling him in. My hips rose, meeting his final drive with as much force and eagerness as he gave it. I could feel his butt flex under my paws, the whole of his being pushing his knot upon my quivering lips in tune with escaping jets of his semen. Instead of protest or panic I sung out a yelp of pleasure into the forest, a sound I could not repress. My brother pressed his nose into my neck and huffed pants of climax into my fur, passing on his body's warmth upon my neck and into my pussy in ever more drawn out waves.

We held each other in our shared moment, growing motionless save for the quick rise and fall of our chests and protracted genital twitches. Dustin's weight slowly descended upon me and my paws traveled up his back. It still felt strange, even in the post-orgasmic surreality, to hold my brother's naked body, to feel our fur and more touch and mingle, and to take in his scent in a moment of sexual satisfaction. For the first time I experienced his cock shrinking inside of me, accompanied by a new type of slickness. It was addictive, intimate, and totally reckless.

As we learned each other's bodies and grew comfortable with one another it became easier to orgasm. Dustin could get me off pretty quick if he wanted to and it always felt amazing. I think for the first time since we let this become commonplace I felt shocked at what happened. The shock stemmed not only from the fact that I let someone cum inside of me, unprotected, but from the fact that from the instant it happened, I found myself tapping into a vast emotional reservoir I never knew existed. It wasn't just stimulation that got me off; it was something deeper, something alarming. What just transpired felt inexplicably different and it certainly raised the bar.

Eventually my brother slipped out and rolled over beside me, leaving me feeling almost painfully hollow and with an insatiate tingle in my belly. I felt my pussy quiver after he left me, flexing shut not on vacancy, but on the substance he left behind. My body felt especially used in a not unpleasant way, loose, sore, and sensitive. Dustin lay with his arms folded behind his head, staring upward. His slick cock lay limp upon his belly, its tip oozing a small trickle of cum into the fur beside his naval. We rested silently next to each other as our bodies cooled and our breathing returned to normal. Neither of us dared spoil the silence with a sound, nor had the courage to address what just happened. I couldn't believe it myself.

I eventually sat up and stretched with the pop of bones and scanned my naked body for signs of disorder, noticing only a few swirls of incompliant fur. My paws carefully swept the follicles in alignment and brushed off a few pieces of leaves. I shifted around, swishing my tail beneath me, parting my legs to finish tidying with an inspection of my sex. After a while I mustered the courage to examine the damage my brother and I had done. I gazed down my body, took a deep breath and looked between my legs. My paws, trembling out of nervousness or post-coital tingle, moved to my pussy. Fingers slowly parted my wet fur and folds, revealing vulva still puffy and soaked in arousal. I spread my labia as wide as I could, peering down at my most intimate details. I didn't see anything at first. Dustin must have got me terrifyingly deep. Only after a moment or two of searching did I notice a bead of thick white fluid hidden among innermost folds.

"Fuck. Should we have done this?" I asked, leaving it ambiguous as to if I spoke to my brother or to myself. My gaze anxiously fixed upon my sex, my fingers spreading and re-spreading my lips to confirm what I saw, blurring the lines of seed marking my intimacy.

"I thought you wanted me to," Dustin said, turning onto his side and leaning on an elbow. His cock slipped off his belly, hanging semi-firm from his sheath. He watched my actions with a modest expression of interest, eyes drawn to his sister's sex. "Trust me, I was a little bit surprised. I always thought you wanted me to pull out."

"No, I do. I think we just had a misunderstanding." I said, trying to remain calm while watching a little bit of the white substance ooze from my vagina. "I just wanted you to slow down."

"You were holding onto me pretty tight there, it felt like you were asking me to cum inside you. Why didn't you say something?"

"I don't know. I guess it all just happened so fast."

"You seemed to enjoy it. I've never seen you react like that."

"Well," I said, feeling the rush of a blush flourish upon my cheeks. "It did feel really good to have you finish inside me, I'll admit that. It's just... risky. We shouldn't let this happen at all. This is fucking insane. You of all people."

"You don't think it's going to happen, do you?"

"No," I said. "My uhh, you know, kinda happened already. I think it's too late for this to take, but I donno. You know I'm not on anything, right?" In that moment I noticed a quantity of Dustin's semen weep from my vaginal opening. I caught the stream with two fingers and brought it up for closer look, running the slick translucent substance across my paw-pads. "It's more likely if we tie. Still. Shit," I continued, pausing for the seconds it took to pick up my brother's scent from the cloudy slime.

"All it takes is one," Dustin completed.

"All it takes is one," I replied, looking upon what must have been millions on my fingertips. "There's always a risk," I continued, reciting the sum total of our sex-ed. That de-motivational speaker from weeks ago made it seem that I could get pregnant from mere skin contact with cum. I didn't believe her, but was there any truth to her ideologically tinctured interpretation of biology?

"Are you worried?"

"I don't know." I said, when I really meant to say yes, shit yea. "If what they say is true then the end of the month is pretty safe. From what I understand there are only a few days in the middle where it can take. Had this happened earlier, even last week, I'd be fucking insanely worried. You know how fucked up it would be if you got me pregnant?"

"Trust me, I know," he said, scooting a little closer. His paw reached out for my knee and gently nudged it out of his field of view. His muzzle peered between my legs, upon my glistening wet sex. "You know I'm not an asshole like that. I know the rules, I should'a just followed them versus what I thought you were asking. Even if nothing came of it, I wouldn't want you to worry. If I do, I'm sorry."

"It's as much my fault, really. We shouldn't be having unprotected sex. This was bound to happen eventually, fuck."

"We've been pretty good about it," he said.

"Still. Shit like this happens. We're playing with fire," I said looking up at my brother, astonished that he was so calm. "Plus I heard you can get pregnant even if you pull out."

"Hey, you just said you're not ovulating," he confidently said, staring my direction with his crooked ears erect.

"I think I'm not," I corrected.

"Then we dodged a bullet already," Dustin said as if he knew my biology better than I did.

"We'll see," I said, choosing to adopt my brother's optimism. Now that the not so unexpected happened, a naive positive outlook was the only thing keeping me from curling into a ball and fretting until the day nature gave me the all clear, or possibly the definitive signs of a permanent fuck-up.

"How was it?"

"What?"

"When I came in you?"

I sighed at Dustin, more imagining than feeling my brother's cum trickle through me. A shiver trailed down my spine and into my tail as I recalled the moment I felt him throbbing, and the perceived warmth spread. My cheeks felt a rush of heat while my heart began to quicken again. I shook my head to clear my senses and tried to deny how much I actually liked it when my brother came. "It really was a good experience," I said, wondering if my words came across as enough of an understatement. "I really wish we had the pill or something, anything really. I don't like worrying."

"Then don't," he said. "Look, don't some couples try for years before it happens? Come on sis, one slip up ain't gonna get you pregnant."

"I hope not," I said. It was a stretch, but I decided to believe my brother. I really had no choice in the matter. Now that what was done, was done. A little bit of cognitive dissonance was the only medicine I could get to treat contraceptiveless incestuous insemination.

"By the way, what you're doing is pretty hot there," he said, changing his tone.

"What?" I said, noting that my continued self-inspection had taken on the resemblance of self-play. I quickly snapped my legs together and hugged my knees, feeling the shiver of embarrassment.

"Hey," said Dustin, crawling toward me. "Come on, let's see. It's nothing I haven't seen before. I had my muzzle buried there like a half hour ago."

"It's messy."

"It's my mess. I should get to see it."

"Come on," I said in a melodic tone, feeling my ears and the corona of my nose grow pink with a warm blush. "It's bad enough as it is."

I scooted to the edge of the blanket, fleeing my brother's persistence, playfully kicking at him with my foot-paws. I found myself cornered on the edge, my tail wagging in the leaves. Dustin knelt in front of me, his paws catching my knees. A smile graced his muzzle, a more demur one than mine. He gently instructed my legs to part and I gave up my resistance. With nowhere left to go and nothing worth hiding, I let my paw return to and my fingers brush apart my fur and lips, exposing my pussy to my brother, showing him the white traces of rough collie semen coating my pink interior. I sucked my tummy in and flexed internally. A tiny teardrop of Dustin's cum emerged from my vaginal opening. We watched it trickle from my lips, then quickly run across my tail-hole after languidly creeping over the bridge of fur between.

"Just so you know, I think you're beautiful," he said, staring at the fluids leaking from my intimacy before looking up at my face. "All of you."

Without saying a further word he offered me his paw. I felt myself pulled back from the edge of the blanket, guided back to Dustin's body as if it were the most natural movement. I came to rest on top of him, his nose touching my nose. The motion of his breathing carried me like the waves of an ocean. The fur of his sheath tickled my sex, contributing to the ache of arousal that hadn't faded in the slightest from the moment Dustin hilted me.

"How did it feel?" He asked before planting a kiss on my lips.

I chuckled and felt a shy smile appear on my muzzle. "I didn't feel you jet inside me, but I did feel you twitch. It was probably the hottest thing I've ever felt. The rest is kind of embarrassing to talk about."

"You can tell me," he said, escalating to a number of licks.

"Come on? Do you have to know everything?"

"You can tell me everything. Why is this taboo all of a sudden?"

"Some things are meant to be mysterious," I said, feeling my brother's maleness begin to firm between our pressed bodies. My heart raced and my breaths grew short. A warmth radiated from within my sex where the moisture wasn't just my own. I was worried, but still immeasurably turned on. It wasn't hard to let my arousal trump the more unpleasant thoughts, in fact I kind of needed them to override what should have become an all out panic attack. I wiggled my hips, shifting my body so that my wet lips pressed against his sheath and knot. A slight buck pressed back against me, sending an electric tingle from my sex to my fingertips.

"Fine," he said, letting licks and kisses descend down my muzzle, chin, and cheeks. "Be that way."

I vented a soft call of pleasure while my brother worked his way along my buttons, not quite comprehending how aroused I already felt, that I perceived every touch with heightened alertness as if each follicle of fur and each nuance of my body were a finely tuned instrument. Out of instinct I began to rock my hips, sliding my tarnished lips along my brother's hardening maleness, gliding easily via the combination of sexual fluids. From the moment he came, Dustin's cum felt like a topical aphrodisiac, a soothing yet sexually upbraiding ointment afflicting nerves inside and out.

Dustin hummed a chuckle of amusement, returning with a buck of his own. Soon we rocked upon one another, with me gliding up and down my sibling's length. My labia practically hugged his shaft, allowing the textures and features of his cock to slide tantalizingly close. Each little pulse sent a lightening-like reminder of earlier through nerves and synapses, making me all the more eager, come what may. I felt as though I could have climaxed from the slide alone, but before I allowed myself to, I reached between us and found my brother's slick cock with more in mind.

It only took me a few seconds to adjust, to rise and direct Dustin toward my pussy's primed lips. It took a moment longer for my trembling paw, clumsy through my own eagerness, to guide Dustin's cock-tip back through my folds and into my warm entrance. An overhasty descent brought tantalizing fullness back to my body. A surprisingly strong and illicit sensation of satisfaction came over me as I hilted on my brother's knot once more, and felt the shape of his cock parting my sperm-lined vagina. I half-sighed and half-yelped as my body re-conformed to my brother's dimensions, his maleness immediately soothing the agonizing feeling of emptiness present from the moment he last withdrew. We looked at each other for a fraction of a moment. Dustin didn't seem surprised at all of this latest development. I gazed down at him from my vantage. Suddenly the perspective of my very own brother, bare chested beneath me, the warmth of his body between my thighs, and the feeling of my vaginal walls parted by flesh, seemed casual and intimate as if the uncanny of our similarity had never been an issue.

I heard my brother sigh and felt him buck a second later, but at this point I had already departed into an interior realm with my body at its center point. We immediately resumed where we left off, quickly achieving a rapid pace, using a very dangerous substance as lubricant. Dustin's shaft swiftly slid in and out of me like a piston, his length glistening with visible streaks of cum. My ears swept down and back, eager to pick up the sounds of sex, the slap of his knot against my labia, the little chuckles and the soft indulgent murmurs that came from us both. It didn't take long for it to return. The little itch and intangible spot of pressure, the little spark of pleasure I desperately tried to stoke into a flame as soon as it glowed into existence. The aftershocks of before slowly turned into fresh premonitions, shivers deep in my lower belly, a decision set into motion.

"You can finish in me this time, if you want," I said between pants, blushing at how vulgar the words sounded coming from my muzzle.

Dustin hummed hungrily. His paw's squeezed where they rested. "You sure?" He asked, gazing up at me to confirm in my signs what I offered.

"Yea," I huffed, not allowing myself to slow down or second guess my precarious offer. I even giggled softly, feeling the absurdity of the exchange as well as the power the thought of feeling my brother throbbing within held over me. "A little more isn't going to make a difference," I rationalized, thinking 'so long as we don't tie, it isn't going to happen.' I noticed my fur tingle upon feeling myself blatantly deny my instincts. Progressively more illicit thoughts slowly transmuted my residual fear into anticipation as it sank in what my brother and I both strove for. With the switches set we rocked, uniting with the audible wet slap of knot.

Dustin thrust as if a heavy fetter were lifted from him. Every movement demonstrated a fervor and intent I never noticed before. The familiar scents and sights seemed to possess a new alien quality, something imperceptibly thrilling. Encouraging licks and kisses gave way to breathing too heated to interrupt. Thoughts tapered off into a process of sensation and the pursuit of bodily needs. I felt my fingers curl into my brother's fur and freeze as if beyond my control. My body itself locked into the recurrent cycle of motion, shifting only to make sure I felt the necessary details of the cock sliding through me where I most needed it most. Dustin's paws slid up and down my body, playing me like an instrument, until they came to rest upon my hips, guiding me to the promised act. His movements became erratic, speeding to rapid bursts, and culminating in long deep thrusts. His breath exhaled into my ear. I heard the shudders, the sighs, the purely sexual intonations and knew he was close.

I felt myself spiraling along the edge of climax as well, as if facing a dark abyss, longing and yet unable to let it envelop me. All I needed was that last thrust and the little telling internal twitch to persuade me over the edge. That moment came when Dustin's hold on me became resolute. I didn't expect my brother to clutch me so authoritatively. I loved how his fingers curled into my fur and grabbed my flesh, giving me no choice but to follow through on my careless offer. Those nonverbal cues were the only warning I got. He pulled me down in the peak of an upward stroke and grunted, uniting our bodies with no intent to pull out. His knot pressed against my pussy-lips in repeated orgasmic bucks, pushing with such force I feared it may slip in, which I would have welcomed in my permissive state.

The moment blurred as the ringing in my ears took over. The details of the event failed to make it to memory, save for the perception of Dustin pulsing within me and the tone I emitted in naive approval. The sensation and the accompanying mental image resonated through me as my body fluttered in midst of orgasm. My pussy quivered around my brother's maleness as if milking him for his product long after the jets of his seed tapered off. I found myself clinging to my sibling with my nose pressed into his fur, panting for air as if I had just surfaced from underwater. Tension slowly left me. Limbs and spine relaxed as if the stroke of a paw smoothed me out. Little quivers continued to echo outward from between my legs as the fire within me burnt down to a smolder. I never, ever, experienced such intimacy before.

After it ended I looked down at my twin and swept my paws through his chest fur. It was a good feeling not to have to scramble away the moment the words of warning were uttered. Even after making love so many times, after believing no higher level of closeness was possible then those found in the moments of copulation, the sensations of keeping my brother warm inside me as he softened, and feeling his slick sperm spreading and mixing with my own fluids, proved me wrong in every possible way. We smiled at each other and I chuckled, the both of us blissfully ignorant of how close we came to doing something irreparable.

When we finally slipped from one another for the final time that day the sun already approached the mountaintops and daylight started to fade quick. I flopped over and landed next to Dustin. It took a while before our breathing slowed. Our muzzles pointed at each other. We both bore slight smiles. I chuckled and he hummed. No words spoiled the pleasantness of the moment. I ached. The soreness felt delightful. Dustin's cum leaked from my sex. The risk of it all was there for all nature to see. Our paws found each other and our fingers intertwined, squeezing tight.

I would have loved to have laid with him for some time, at least until my body recuperated enough from our double session, but perfection can't always be expected. Homework still had to be done, chores too, that, and if we dallied any longer, unanswerable questions were sure to arise when we ran into our dad. My brother rose first, wordlessly getting to his feet and stretching. My body suddenly felt colder without him next to me. I watched him flex from where I lay upon the blanket while I he stretched. He stood still for half a moment facing west, silhouetted by the ambient light of dusk, the last rays of which barely caught the highest bows of the forest. I wanted to tell him how attractive I thought he looked standing there naked and contemplative. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking, but I did neither. I thought he might think it weird of me that I equated pensiveness with sexiness.

I joined him a moment later and began the hunt for my strewn clothing. I felt wobbly and aching as if I had been disassembled and hastily put back together. Everything felt loosened and over-lubricated. Each step made me sense that certain slickness Dustin throbbed between my vaginal walls. That substance and all it represented, became for me, above all, the materialized form of yet another broken rule, a taboo, something that shouldn't be but was, irrevocable.

I sifted through the clothes we'd carelessly thrown into the same pile. "Hey," I said watching Dustin pluck my boxers before I could. "Don't you dare!"

"What?" He asked, already having one ankle in them and hopping around to get the other foot-paw through.

"Those are mine," I said, nodding at his balancing act.

"How can you even tell?"

"Don't you recognize your own underwear when you see them?"

"Are you sure you didn't take these from me? Could'a sworn I owned a pair with these patterns."

"Give those back!"

"Nope. I think it's a laundry mishap. These were mine all along," he said and slipped them up his legs. Without even a second word he just stuffed his slick cock into them.

I stumbled after him, desperate to cover up the mess leaking from my sex. I reached for the strap and grabbed it for a second, but Dustin was surer on his feet than I and easily evaded. I repeated myself, "Don't make a girl stumble around naked. Have you no decency?"

"Someone's jealous of my underwear. I think you took these on purpose."

"I'm warning you!" I said, quickly grabbing his underwear and threatening to don them. "I'm messy down there."

"Wouldn't be the first time cum got on those."

I wordlessly tugged up his underwear and snapped the elastic around my waist, looking at him with sly defiance. "Yea, I can feel it leaking already. You wouldn't want my vaj juices on your boxers, would you?" I jested.

"Like I care," Dustin said, pointing at his muzzle, at the matted corona of fur around his nose, before kicking my flannel out of the way to pick up my jeans.

"Don't," I said, but it was already too late. My brother slipped them up his legs and buckled them around his waist.

"It's a little loose," he said, "and they look a little high-water, but they fit okay."

I seized his jeans and Dustin reached for my flannel. In the next few minutes we grabbed each other's clothes, slipping one article after the other on and watching our nudity disappear. Jeans, t-shirt, denim coat, all my brother's clothes landed on my body until I stood there ready to go, looking as innocent and untarnished as if nothing had ever happened.

My brother finished before me and waited patiently. "Do I look like a lesbian yet?" He asked, posing in my wardrobe. They all fit him, having been tailored for a man anyway, but it felt uncanny seeing him in them.

"Do I look like a Canadian businessmen?" I asked in return, showing off my brother's denims. Some of his clothes felt a little tight on me, especially around my breasts, but his jeans fit like a glove, though I had to cuff them up a bit. I figured I could pull them off.

"Handsome," he said, gazing over me. "I do have good style."

"Dude, you're dressed like a girl," I said before letting loose an irrepressible chuckle.

My brother looked at himself and shook his head. "There is probably something wrong with the fact that the both of us can trade clothes like this."

"Should do this more often." I said.

"Oh god, how am I going to explain this? My sister is a cross-dresser."

"So are you."

He laughed at me and took a few steps my direction. His paws came to my hips. His muzzle titled. I knew he needed a kiss. We embraced each other. Our muzzles connected and we kissed, shallower and less passionate than during our love-making, but with duration and affection nonetheless inappropriate for a brother and sister to express. The moment we parted was the instant we had to go on pretending that's what we were, just siblings and nothing more.

"I love you sis," he said after his lips touched mine.

"I love you too, Dustin," I said, pretending I meant the words solely out of familial obligation.

I hummed as we walked home while Dustin sung Neil Young. I took his hand until we came to the main road, playfully bumping into him and making it difficult for us to get anywhere. The dopamine released by my two orgasms still coursed through my veins. I more than walked; I pounced from step to step, following my brother, tail wagging, elated and carefree, so much I felt as if though as if I'd been possessed by some spirit that was anything but me. Each stride let me feel the soreness and the vacancy my brother left behind, which in an odd way became a source of pleasure I could enjoy with every step. The scents on my brother's clothes were a privilege to wear. The slickness of that precarious stuff between my legs accompanied me, arousing me in a cruelly delightful way.

I finally got to my room and undressed in dire need of a shower. I stripped my brother's clothes. His jeans came off first, boxers following them, kicked with a twitch of my foot-paw into the far corner of my room. When they landed, I noticed a big stain on the front underside. I crossed the distance to pick them back up, a finger-pad caressing the wet fabric as if testing it for authenticity. The scent of Dustin's cum made it to my nose immediately. I landed on the bed, bare bottomed, with a paw between my legs, trying in vain not to play with myself. I lay there, pawing, replaying the day's events, deciding to forget about homework and all the other priorities a girl can have at the end of her teens. "Oh fuck, I let him cum in me, twice," I reprimanded myself. It was beyond risky, I knew that, but it felt so fucking wonderful. When he did it, when we had sex, I felt loved. It didn't matter that we could only say 'I love you' to each other coded in the contrived rubric of familial fidelity, I believed that Dustin meant it in the way I hoped, in the way I too stumbled around without looking it in the eye. The technicalities were pushed aside and I relished in pure theory of it, and that mitigated the danger I put myself in as I fingered my seeded pussy to another climax.

The next day at school, what happened was pretty much the only thing I could think about. I went from period to period completely and utterly distracted, one of the rare times I just spaced out and let the lesson go over my head. Of course I worried about the consequences, but a more illicit acceptance trumped those worries with dirty thoughts. I never worried too much about showing arousal, but that day I feared it would become a problem. Between classes I stopped in the girl's room. My boxers were soaked, but luckily my jeans hid the worst. I had lunch with Dustin that day, but all I could do was giggle. Being near him and intuitively knowing he too had our secret on his mind filled me with complicit pleasure. Everything he said, no matter how mundane, just seemed to elicit some childish giddiness. My cheeks and ears burnt with a persistent blush. He was in one of his crack-ass moods again and nothing either of us said made sense.

Of course we did it on the way home again. He had me on my back and I had my legs wrapped around him with no intent to let him slip out. All it took was a knowing look and a lust-filled nod and we understood what would happen. Seconds later I got to feel those unbridled bucks and the heat of that grunt that always coincided with the opening of my brother's internal floodgates. I held onto him as unable and unwilling to do anything to dissuade the wild beast I'd unleashed in him and halt the risk his unstoppable spurts carried into my belly. It was indefensible, but if I could effectively communicate the hot and addictive qualities of a knot resolutely thrust and held upon my vulva, of looking into my brothers eyes that very intimate moment, and putting my faith in ignorance and a mere coincidence of biology to protect me from the unwanted, then perhaps my flaws would be understood, though not forgiven. We were only eighteen, we were just kids, but that too is no excuse.

It happened that day, the next, and every day for the rest of the week, sometimes twice. We would fidget our way through school, try and make it through a bus ride without molesting each other, and pad off to our spot with eagerness we hadn't felt since we were cubs. I don't know what came over me. When Dustin pulled out, we both looked down at my slit and eagerly awaited the slow ooze of cum. We smiled at each other, aroused by our own transgressions, but I wasn't dumb enough not to worry, not to pray to every possible deity that I wasn't ovulating. I enjoyed it, but I wished more than ever that we had access to protection. I could have used a layer of rubber to give me peace of mind. Where the fuck were we gonna get some though, in the middle of fucking nowhere?

We lost the week to the perpetual anticipation for those few hours in the forest. Every night we stayed out until dusk, coming home giggling and shy on wobbly legs, scented in each other's intimate fluids. I wasn't a complete fool. Perhaps if I had access to better sex education I wouldn't have behaved so foolishly. I had such contempt for the abstinence only shit that I didn't even believe some of the more useful warnings that came veiled in ideology. That left me with only book smarts to go by and book smarts only tell you half the story. Had I had access to condoms, the first slip up wouldn't have happened in the first place. Maybe if I lived in a different area with a different culture, asking my conservative country doctor to put me on contraception wouldn't have felt so impossible.

Even if I had access to all the right things, would I have been too scared to seize them? I was now committing incest on a regular basis and every time it happened I bonded just a little more with my accomplice. My attraction to Dustin was beginning to reach concerning levels, to the point where it started to noticeably influence my behavior. That would need to stay a secret no matter where I lived. Those were all thoughts for hindsight. Hindsight was all I had left. Nights after the endorphins wore off I'd lie awake in bed with my paws over my belly, fretting over the possibilities our eagerness could have wrought while my brother most likely snoozed away like a log in his adjacent room. I'd stare at the ceiling and wonder. What if...