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30.

I got sunday's note from one of the Pack's messengers while I stood in the breakfast line, arguing with a ferret. Well, actually Dimitri was given the note but he just passed it back to me. I slipped it into the waistband of my pants and continued my trouble making.

"I'm just saying, if I wanted a mouthful of pesticides, I'd get some next time I'm in the maintenance shed."

The ferret clinked his spatula against the pan of hashbrowns, his neck tensing with sinewy tendons. "And I'm just fuckin' saying, I don't know if the goddamn potatoes are organic."

"Could you check the box? It might say on the box." I wasn't being unreasonable. If I had to eat this slop everyday, I would at least like to know what it was.

The ferret leaned closer, a sheet of plexiglass sneeze guard the only thing separating us. "Do you see this tat?" He touched the white teardrop, inked into the skin and follicles in the black fur under his eye. "Do you know how I got it?"

I looked at it. It was a little off balance and there was no shading at all. "A novice tattoo artist and a keg of cheap beer?"

The spatula flew at the plexiglass, sending a spray of grease and potato. The ferret was yelling at me while a rat and stoat struggled to restrain him. I scrambled after Dimitri, deciding I could live without my breakfast starch.

A guard started yelling right as I wedged myself between Jake and the big tiger. They both looked at me and I gave them an innocent shrug. I can't help it if the kitchen is staffed with psychos.

***

We sat at the same table we always do. I took out the note and and skimmed to the bottom. In a hand writing much more elegant than Vince's tiny scrawl was Hash's post-script. I didn't read it at first, I just traced the letters with my eyes. They flowed, liquid like, in a world of sharp edges and uniformity.

Cn't w8 2 c u.

He can't wait to see me! I sighed wistfully, thinking of that sandy furred coyote. The thoughts of what we could do nestled together in the back row of pews... I shuddered and wished breakfast was over already.

Jake's elbow caught me below the ribs. I yelped and turned on him. He coughed and dipped his head towards the tiger across from us. Shit. Dimitri was looking right at me.

"C-can I read you Vince's note? Or did you want to wait 'til you're done eating, sir?"

Dimitri stared at me, giving the distinct impression he could read me with more literacy than a college professor. Sweat prickled under my fur.

"Just give me the short version," he said and went back to his eating.

I let out a deep breath. Maybe I was paranoid, but next to getting killed, my biggest fear was the two lives I was trying to live coming into contact with each other. There was no predicting how Dimitri's turbulent psyche would handle it if he learned my universe did not solely revolve around him.

I looked away from Dimitri, hiding behind the letter. "It says Jake gets to orally service a rhino - have fun with that - and then get fucked by a raptor. Both out on the Yard." I looked over at Jake. "The raptor wants anal and oral. Let's hope not in that order." Jake didn't find that as funny as Dimitri and me.

I got to my jobs. "Damn. I have a wolf that wants head sometime during lunch. Why do they always interrupt my meals? And then even if I have time to eat after, it all tastes salty." I shook my head. "And two gazelles want to fuck me... in the shower. There's not a lot of privacy in there," I looked at Dimitri.

"Don't want to do it, pet?" Dimitri asked.

No, I did not want two strangers fucking me in a crowded prison shower, but all that was rather moot given where my life was at the moment. "I was wondering if you could stay near me, sir? It'd make me feel safer." The showers were always one dropped soap away from a gang rape, I couldn't do this without Dimitri.

"Oh, you'll definitely be in the stall right next to me. I'm gonna wanna see this." He licked his lips.

Close enough. "Thanks, sir. Now, as for what Vince wants you to do," I smiled at his look of annoyance. Like Vice could ever tell Dimitri what to do. "He says you shouldn't touch Herb. Apparently he's got some sort of a brilliant plan, but all Vince writes about it in the note is how clever he is for coming up with it." The fuck he did. Anything clever was probably Hash's idea. I focused back on the note before thoughts of love distracted me. "Aaand, he wants to talk to you about how things went with the scalies last night."

I put the note down and watched Dimitri, waiting for his silent anger to fade. "Sir? How did your meeting go?" I'd been to afraid to ask him last night for fear of aggravating him.

He stabbed his spoon into the pool of pudding on his tray. "I don't know. Almost killed Clov."

I stopped eating. It scared me that when Dimitri said something like that, chances were he wasn't being metaphoric.

Dimitri noticed my staring. "I guess they got what I was saying, but that green fucker said he wanted one of my teeth. You believe that shit? He said it would 'make us even,'" Dimitri's lips curled into snarl. "That fucking lizard better thank his heathen gods I didn't rip out his fucking tongue when he said he wasn't going to pay up!" His fist slammed down making the long table shake.

I had to calm him down. "Thank you, sir!" I squeaked loud enough to get his attention. "For not letting that idiot get you in trouble. I don't want to lose you for even a day. Even if they deserved it, I hate it when you take a risk like that. I get scared for you, sir." My ears flattened and I watched Dimitri's features soften.

"You worry too much. I wouldn't leave my pup to fend for himself." The faintest hint of a smile played on his lips. "Eat your food before it gets cold."

I obeyed, awestruck that I was really able to calm him down.

***

Dimitri and I got back to the cell with just enough time to clean up after breakfast. Dimitri always spent more time on his grooming sunday mornings than any other time.

"You going to the service again?" he asked over his shoulder.

I knew, for whatever reason, Dimitri was fairly religious. I was agnostic, but knowing Hash would be there, I was perfectly willing to pretend to be a fanatical zealot if it came to that.

"I'd like to, sir. If it's ok with you."

"Of course it's ok." He toweled off and turned to look at me. "You going to the Orthodox, or are you ready to try Reformed?"

I chewed my lip, trying to find the best words. The Carnavist schism between Orthodox and Reformed was still something I didn't understand, and I refused to let Dimitri think species had anything to do with me going to the service that the canines seemed to have claimed. I honestly couldn't care where I went as long as Hash was there.

"I think I'd like to go to the Orthodox one again. The, uh, preacher had an interesting sermon last week that he said he was going to follow up in his next one."

Dimitri nodded, satisfied with my reasoning. I took my turn at the sink and glanced at the ceiling. I'd just lied about church so I could cuddle with my boyfriend and maybe get the chance to give him a hand job. If there was an Carnavist afterlife, I was probably screwed.

***

My tail had a mind of its own, insisting on wagging out a tempo that matched my excited pulse the closer I got to the cafeteria-turned-chapel where I'd find Hash. At first sight of him I barely held back from running to him, flinging my arms around him and begging for a kiss. Instead, I strolled down the back row of pews on a shaky gait.

His arm stretched out, offering me the perfect place to plant myself. His arm tightened around my waist, pulling me into him.

"I missed you so much, Regal," he whispered in my ear sending chills.

"Hash," I whined, summing up all my wants and all the unfairness of the universe into one mournful word.

The cafeteria/chapel slowly filled with a procession of the bored and the desperate, but my world was a warm embrace.

"Did you talk to Vince about getting in Green Horizons?" I asked his shoulder.

"Yes," he whispered to the top of my head. "His Pack connections said I was already in, and it'll be official as soon as the office staff comes in monday.'

I hummed in happiness. "And my lawyer tried to make it sound like it was such a big deal. They let any riff-raff in."

Hash's cradling arm wiggled so his fingers could find my ticklish flank. I squirmed, struggling to stifle my laughs. "Someone's in a good mood this morning," he said.

I caught hold of his hand. "That's 'cause I get to be with you."

I felt Hash shift, checking that we weren't being watched, then I felt his nose nuzzle through my hair, a kiss that curled my toes was placed on my head. I spent the rest of the morning in a little slice of heaven. We didn't say much, we just held each other taking comfort in the other's presence. And that's what I needed.

Hash was the shining beacon showing me a way through the dark sea I was lost in.

***

Dimitri was back at the cell before me. I stayed as long as I could with Hash but eventually the guards made it clear that I needed to leave. It sucked, but at least we spent the morning together.

The tiger was interested in what I thought of the service. I swore under my breath for not paying the slightest bit of attention to that point.

"I... thought it was interesting. He talked about redemption and atonement again," That sounded safe. The preachers always talked about that, I think. "I've been wondering if that Green Horizons program counts as atonement..."

Dimitri gave the matter his full attention, putting more thought into an answer than I put into the lie. "I would think so," he said. "As long as you're trying to make up for your wrongs."

I nodded hoping that would be the end of our theological discussion.

Dimitri reached on his shelf and brought down the Green Horizons brochure. "I've," he stopped and glanced at the cell door. The inmates were locked down until the lunches started, but there was always the guards to worry about. He looked back at me. "I've been practicing," he handed it to me. "I think I have the letters memorized." He looked at me.

I tried to understand what he was driving at. He glanced at the glossy paper in my hands and I got it. Dimitri was not accustomed to asking for anything. His power and size gave him the right to demand whatever he wanted but he was looking for a third option with me. I was touched. Really.

"Sir, can I start teaching you some words now?" I asked.

Dimitri gave an unconvincing nonchalant shrug. "I guess I'll let you, pet."

I smiled just enough to let him know he wasn't fooling me. "Thank you, sir." And I was thankful. Being in prison, if you ignore the sex and violence, was a lot like living in a permanent detention. Or, maybe being grounded, I couldn't say, as my upbringing was pretty loose in terms of structure. Discounting the drama and pain, my biggest struggle was with boredom.

Having Dimitri as a friend and not just a domineering bully was the best thing that could have happened to me. It was more than killing time with teaching him, I meant it when I said I wanted to show him I was thankful he was with me.

***

I felt oddly nostalgic when I got to the cafeteria for lunch. It was in an identical cafeteria, in a different wing, where Hash and I spent the morning together. As much as I wanted to revel in those warm memories of only a few hours ago, I had to keep my mind clear for what was to come.

I started picking at my meal while still in the chow line. I wanted to eat as much as I could before some wolf came to take me away and do things to my mouth that, if I dwelled on too much, would put me off my lunch.

I'd managed to finish half of my turkey sandwich as we reached the end of the line. That was when the wolf whistled, calling our attention. Damn it. I looked for Piter, the bastard and his pack had slowly been taking over their own tables at one end of the canine territory. The wolf motioning me was on the other end, farthest from Piter.

I looked up at Dimitri. "Sir?"

He was looking at Piter's distance from my client too. He took my tray. "Go on, pup. You know where I'll be when you're finished."

I sighed heavily and shuffled toward my job. The wolf was joking animatedly with the other wolves he sat with. This was the first time I'd been to the canine tables in the cafeteria. I still got some angry looks, but not as many as I got when Dimitri first brought me with him to the feline tables after my first week spent cowering in the corner of his cell.

The wolf was tall and strong. He didn't look much older than me but being a wolf, he was having a much easier time in here than I was. The white fur of his muzzle blended into a black, mask-like pattern that covered the rest of his head, fading to a light gray from what I could see of his neckline.

I stood awkwardly as he talked loudly with his friends. "No fucking way!" he slapped his hand on the table, bursting with laughter at another wolf's claim. "Dude, if it had been me, I would've shot that guy then fucked his bitch!"

This caused another round of uproarious laughing. I cleared my throat to get his attention. Unfortunately, it worked. The wolf ran his eyes over me, causing me to cross my arms, shrinking under his gaze.

"You, Ellie?"

I nodded, not bothering to correct him.

"Hey, guys!" He jerked his thumb at me, aiming the eyes of the wolves. "My rent-a-bitch."

Of course the idiots found that fucking hilarious. Ha. Ha. I stared longingly at the door to the kitchen. "Did you want to go?" I asked quietly.

"Horny fox," another wolf joked.

My wolf found that pretty funny too. "Aren't they all?" He looked up at me. "What's the hurry? Sit down for a minute," he moved over, leaving me just enough room between him and the gray wolf next to him. I tightened the hug I was giving myself, unsure how to get out of this situation.

"It's loud out here. Let's just go-" I was cut off.

"I paid up front. Sit your ass down while I finish my fucking lunch." An edge of menace crept into his voice and I learned where the limits of his tolerance were.

My ears flattened in defeat and I squeezed into the gap he'd made for me. As I sat I felt a sharp tug on my tail, nearly knocking me off balance. My head spun to see who did it, but it could have been any of the canines in this tightly packed space.

"Sit, boy," said a wolf with brown fur across from me taunted.

I gritted my teeth to keep from telling him to fuck off, and curled my tail around me. I lowered my head and tried to pretend I was invisible. It didn't work.

"My name is Otto," the client said, his offered hand smacking my shoulder lightly to make itself known. I unfolded my arms and made to shake his hand before he added, "it'll be my dick you're suckin' today."

Asshole.

"Oh c'mon," Otto chuckled. "That was funny. Laugh." His eyes narrowed and I knew I wasn't being given a choice.

"Heh," I offered weakly. It was enough to amuse the wolves. I sat there mutely, still wishing I could disappear as the wolves talked loudly and crassly, occasionally pausing to make fun of me. This sucked.

"Hey, Otto," said the brown wolf across from me. "Why didn't you buy a red fox? Too much money for you?"

"Naw," Otto deftly countered the jab. "If I wanted a hole that loose, I'd fuck your mother."

Stupidly, I snickered at that, drawing their attention again. "Where are my manors? Are you hungry, Ellie?"

I shook my head, my hands frantically fumbling with the tip of my bushy tail.

"I'm not fuckin' with you this time," Otto insisted. But I wasn't going to take the bait. Otto reached on his tray, snapping the dry, stale cookie in half. "You want a cookie?" he cooed mockingly.

"No," I said softly. Deep down I knew he wasn't going to let it go so when he wagged the crumbly cookie under my nose and prodded me again I gave in. "Ok... thank you, sir." I reached for the cookie only for Otto to snatch it away.

"Not so fast, Ellie," Otto lifted the cookie over my head, probably making a dig at our relative height. I looked up, squinting to keep the falling crumbs from getting in my eyes. "Beg for it," he said cooly.

Just get it over with, I reminded myself. "Please, sir, can I have the cookie?"

One of the surrounding wolves watching the show offered this helpful advice, "pretend you're begging for wolf cock, bitch."

A familiar stab from deep within warned me the pain was taking root. "Please, master Otto, please let your bitch have a cookie," I whined, pulling my arms up to my chest like a feral dog. Goddamn it, I wasn't going to let them make me cry. Their laughter felt like tiny pins pricking my eyes.

"Alright, alright, little fox slut," he patronized me like he was doing me a favor. "Open up."

I obeyed, my eye pinched tight, and Otto let the cookie fall, hitting the back of my throat. I choked and coughed, still chewing the cookie as fast as I could.

"Hope he can take a cock better than he takes a cookie," laughed a wolf to my left.

I had an excuse for my eyes to be watering now, and I blink furiously, demanding my body not betray me like this. Dry, damn you! Through my blinks I saw Otto starting to rise. He picked up the other half of the cookie, giving me a half smile, "cheers, Ellie," he said and stuffed it in his mouth. "I'll see you bitches later," he told his friends, getting an enthusiastic round of applause.

I jumped up and walked straight for the door, not daring to look at anyone. My jaw clenched tight and my breath came if sharp bursts. Previously, I always let the client lead me to one of the back store rooms, but as I banged on the kitchen door I didn't give a damn if Otto was following me or not.

The heavy door swung open, a hedgehog in a hairnet and grease stained apron opened his mouth to say something, but I brushed past him. If I looked like I knew what I was doing and walked like I had a purpose maybe no one would question me. It seemed to work, I made past the ovens before a voice stopped me.

"What's the rush, Ellie?" Otto called after me. "They charge by the hour, you know. Must really be eager for a big mouthful of cum, eh, you hot bitch?" My breath hitched in my throat, just loud enough for him to hear over his own chuckle. "Ellie? You fuckin' crying?"

"No!" I spat angrily. "The cookie was dry. I'm choking," you asshole.

"Riiight," he drawled suspiciously. I stopped walking and let him take the lead, my face turned towards the wall so he wouldn't see it. I hated him. I hated my traitor emotions. I hated prison. I hated almost everything.

***

The store room door opened on a room packed with tall metal carts in plastic sheaths. I looked closer. Oh, good. Looks like we'll be having banana nut muffins for breakfast tomorrow. That's worth living through this hell. My snarky thoughts were wasted kept to myself.

The light flicked on and I blinked. I'd hoped Otto wouldn't have found the switch and we could have done this in the dark. Stupid to think I was that lucky. I kept my back to the wolf, hearing the door click closed.

"Turn around," Otto's voice deepened with unmasked lust. "Take off your shirt."

I could have fought it, saying all I was told to do was suck him off, but I wasn't a fighter. I slipped my shirt over my head, looking for anything to put it on. Nothing, so I dropped it next to me. Otto walked up to me. A sloppy mix of bitterness and resignation replaced my despair, but my nose was still stuffy, when I opened my mouth to take a breath, Otto mistook it for a wanton gasp.

"You want it bad, don't you, cock-muncher?"

"Yes, sir," I whispered.

"Take off the rest."

My eyes widened. He wanted me naked. My jaw clenched along with my fists. I tilted my head up to see Otto's face. Who was I kidding? My muscles relaxed and I tugged down my pants, forgetting any thoughts of rebellion.

Otto reached out, his hand dropped low. I yelped, he had my dick in his hand. "No!" I leaped back. The room was small and Otto was fast. He pinned me to the wall with his left arm, his right hand caressing neck.

"You really want this," he said it as a statement, not a question. His thumb traced my lips. All of my strength couldn't budge the arm pressing into my chest so I tried a new desperate approach.

I kissed his thumb. "P-please, sir. Let me suck you." The pressure on my chest eased and I took the chance to slip down the wall, kneeling awkwardly eye level with Otto's crotch. But at least I didn't have to worry as much about his hands.

"Beg for it," his rough voice commanded from above.

I sniffled through my running nose. "Please, you glorious wolf-god. Let me have your cock."

His hips bucked, banging my head against the wall. "Keep it up," he growled and pulled down his fly.

"Y-you're so big. I'd do anything to taste your seed." I meant none of it, but that wasn't an issue for Otto. He was getting off on making me say it, not whether I was honest. Otto started stroking himself, pointing it right at me. I looked up at him, cautiously sticking my tongue out and touching it to his head.

The taste of his precum and the scent of his musk did nothing for me. Occasionally I was able to get into my work, but this was not one of those times.

"More," he demanded, his hand pumping faster. "Tell me how worthless your ass is."

I shook my head. "Don't make me do that," I whined. It would hurt too much, and I was barely keeping it together as it was. I licked at his cock, hoping it would appease him long enough to let me come up with more empty praise. Instead Otto slapped me with his free hand.

Fine! "I'm worthless." Is that what you fucking want? "I'm just a slut. Use me, master, I'm just a hole," my voice finally cracked. Not that it mattered. Whatever Otto was waiting for me to say, he heard it. He yanked my head back, slamming his slick cock into my mouth. I knew what to do, where to put my tongue, how much to bob my head, I was become quite an expert in this area.

Between my skill and all the jacking off he'd been doing, Otto only lasted a few minutes. I swallowed down his cum with a sob.

My sorrow went unnoticed now that his needs were met. I stayed kneeling, watching Otto zip his pants and flashing me a smirk before he walk out. He didn't think I was worth a good job, or even a fucking thanks!

As I pondered that I leaned against the wall, pulling my knees to my chest. How could a day that started so well, leave me feeling like shit by noon?