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When you Gotta Go…

Even when you're a Superhero!

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Written by Arian Mabe (Amethyst Mare)

Commissioned by anonymous

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Vignette One

Harley Quinn

---

Harley Quinn giggled, pressing her fingers to her lips. Oh, Pudding was going to be so surprised when she played yet another prank on him! Of course, the Joker was not always as amused by her pranks as Harley was, but, frankly, that was his problem, not hers. He knew what he was getting into when he got with a jester, of course, he did!

Harley laughed again, a peal of amusement that rang out across Gotham city. Down in the warehousing district, she hung upside-down like the acrobat that she was too from a pole, extending horizontally, that had once borne a sign. Now, it didn't have anything on it at all bar a woman clad in a black and red jester's outfit, though it was a modernised one, alternating the red and the black with three diamonds clustered. A strip of belly could be seen below her bustier corset-like top, though her chest was well covered, her body allowed its full range of flexibility and acrobatability (that was a word, she swore it was) for what she had in mind. Her blonde hair hung in pigtails, one tip red and the other black, swinging faintly back and forth with an unseen wind.

Her Pudding had an important meeting that night, but she was concerned that that stinky Batman would do something to get in the way of things yet again. But that would not happen that night, oh no, not as Gotham remained illuminated in man-made glow of lights, no stars or even the moon even visible. No, no, no, nothing at all could interrupt the Joker, who was meeting with the Riddler to hatch a devious plan! She'd overheard that they were planning to infect a rather large area of Gotham with Joker toxin, whatever that was, while the Riddler did what he did best and distracted Batman with, well, riddles. Increasingly complex ones, or so she was told, but, really, who had the time for all that? If she'd been Batman, she would have ignored the Riddler from the start and gone off to do her own thing, a fun thing. She only really had the time for crime when it benefitted her and, honestly, if it ever got boring then Harley was straight out of there.

But no matter! No, no, no – she had a prank, a brilliant prank, to play! Having found the old warehouse builder, not one of his usual ones, that the Joker was meeting the Riddler at, she waited, grinning, flipping back around the right way up, perched on top of the empty signpost. The warehouses were close to the docks and, frankly, with how her Pudding went on about his schemes – so talented! – it was not all that difficult at all for her to find the building where the Joker was meeting the Riddler. Well, not all that difficult for Harley Quinn, of course.

She dropped to the ground and sauntered forward, swinging her hips, the old warehouse with cracked and creaking boards. It could have been just like any other down there if not for the two henchmen that she obviously recognised guarding the entrance, one on either side of a double door with a heavy, metal latch that looked as if it came down across the door as a metal bar. She shook her head, clicking her tongue disapprovingly against the roof of her mouth.

Really, Pudding really needed to be more careful! She knew that he had never been particularly secretive, but, well, having two Joker goons out in the open like that with no one else around? That was a great way to attract attention! Either way, she had to deal with them. And that they already knew her and who she was proved to be a plus.

“Helloooo, boys," she cooed as she sauntered up, a hip popped out with her hand on it. “Fancy seeing you lot out here!"

They exchanged a look, though did not say anything, waiting on more. With their rough, dark suits, they did not obviously show any weapons, but Harley knew that it would only take a twitch of a hand to find a gun, trigger tucked neatly into the clasp of a finger that knew well how to use it. With her, however, she did not worry that they would dare use them on her, let alone even come close to hitting her.

“Well, now, ain't you the chattiest of bunches?" She mocked them lightly, in keeping with her usual persona. “Now, Joker asked me to join this silly little meeting with the Riddler, so do be good goons and let me in now, hm? You wouldn't want to keep the Joker waiting, now, would you?"

She let the implications of that hang in the air, the henchmen shifting their weight, looking a little worried. Good!

“Uh…" One started – Saul, she thought his name was, though it was not important. “Boss said not to let no one in unless the boss said so. Uh…"

Harley sighed, puffing out her cheeks. Gosh, they weren't very bright were they?

“It's me, Harley, Harley Quinn, maybe you've heard of me. Dontcha know me?"

The henchmen glanced at each other, the one on the left rocking back on his heels. It seemed that they were at an impasse as to what they were supposed to do, which she wasn't all that surprised by. In her experience, it did not take all that much to confuse the goons, as slow as they were.

“Of course, we know you, Harley," the other said. “But… We were told not to let anyone in. Or else we'll be in big trouble with Joker. You understand."

She didn't understand. Or, more so, she didn't understand specifically how they did not see that the rules simply didn't apply to her. Idiots.

She put her finger to her chin as if she was thinking really hard about what to do next, even though it was already decided. If plan A didn't work, then plan B it would have to be then.

Without saying a single word, she whipped out her hammer, her trusty weapon, and lunged, her body lifting from the ground in an acrobat's spring that, even then, appeared completely weightless.

“BONK! BONK!"

With each “bonk", Harley's hammer came down on their heads, knocking each goon out cold as their bodies crumpled to the ground. It only took a few seconds and, truly it would have been utterly comical to anyone watching to see them felled so easily by her and her hammer, pigtails bouncing around her face as she struck.

“There… Now, that wasn't so hard, now, was it?"

Harley grinned. She would have to be very quiet to get by, not having planned to have to fell the goons too, but that was alright. She was already where she needed to be for the prank she had in mind!

Squatting right there on the step of the warehouse, the concrete roughed up and chipped away from age and wear over the years it had been standing, she pulled her pants down, underwear too. The black and red of her clothes gave way to expose her white backside, but that was not the prank – oh, no. Harley had something far more devious in mind for that!

It didn't even bother her that she was practically mooning the goons, even though they were already knocked out. Dull as doorknobs, they were! They would have quite a surprise though when they realised what she had done there, relieving herself right there on the step without a care in the world.

“Oof…"

Harley grunted, not even bothering to be quiet when she already knew that she would not be disturbed, forcing the log of poop out of her backside with squeezes and contractions. There was always a problem with her not going to the bathroom enough, forgetting in the myriad of pranks and mischief she had to pull daily, and that sometimes meant that she was slightly backed up. Or maybe it was normal for people like her to drop so many large bowel movements – Harley didn't honestly care. It was how she was, but that was no matter. Holding things in for just a little bit longer often had excellent results for her many pranks anyway, so it hardly bothered her at all.

One plopped to the ground, a firm log of waste speckled with cracks, though she barely glanced back to make sure that her aim was true, before she worked on squeezing the next one out. That one was softer, though there was not much smell to it out there in the crisp air, the scent of the water freshening everything. The second log was a little smaller than the first, splatting down with a wetter sound, perhaps roughly ten inches long. There were more to come, a few smaller plops of poop, the hard, round balls that were roughly shaped, but the larger logs of waste were what Harley had to concentrate on pushing out.

She giggled, wiggling her bottom back and forth, amused even then by her own prank. Oh, it was the best thing in the world to get one over on her Pudding! He really needed to lighten up!

One, two, three – five logs of waste were out already, piled less than neatly on the step. But she was only trying to make sure that they were all in the right place for her Joker to find them, of course. They didn't have to be neat. There was little at all, to be frank, that was neat about Harley. And maybe that was best shown by her bearing down and puffing out her cheeks, not embarrassed at all by what she was doing, squeezing out a long, firm, hard log bowel movement that landed right on the top, adding a sixth to the pile. That was the largest of all and she couldn't help but inspect it with the pride that it deserved, a good thirteen inches in length and thick around.

It was a dirty prank, perhaps something that was a little too much for lightening up the Joker, but it was too far gone to go back from that point, grinning madly as she defecated. There were still more bowel movements to come, squeezing out two logs, one after the other, that were the thickest around yet at roughly twelve inches long, a little curved when they landed beside the main pile. But that was all fine, she wasn't there to be tidy, it was all a mess when it came to the city anyway.

That was all, apparently, that she had in her as she surveyed what was left, her body feeling lighter and relieved in the aftermath. Man, she really must have needed to go! But the pile was good, the total eight there, lumped together, though they were not all the same thickness, size or consistency.

“I prefer a little variety anyway, hm!"

Dressing once more, tugging her trousers back up over her clean backside, Harley grinned.

“I think I have just the perfect end to this little prank!"

*

---

The Joker leaned over the table, a large map of Gotham city spread out before him.

“See here, where we begin in this quarter…"

Riddler shook his head, lips pressed together: two forces of villainy and evil coming together in the worst of ways.

“No, no, no – to distract him, that is where our focus must be, can you not see?"

The Riddler interrupted the Joker as if he had any right to do so, though he was also perhaps crazy enough, in the schemes of Gotham city, to think that he was an equal power. But everyone in Gotham City that sought to be the crime lord above all else believed that they were the best of the best, so it was not all that unusual a phenomenon, to be fair.

Yet the ringing of a doorbell, a deep chime that was probably appropriate for the warehouse-type building that they were in, cut through the air, stalling them in their tracks. Riddler frowned.

“Were you expecting someone, Joker? This better not be one of your schemes…"

Joker shook his head, though his face remained painted into a smile, despite his frown.

“No… I will see who the interruption is."

He stood easily, picking up a shotgun and a Joker toxin grenade as if handling those things was the most natural thing in the world to him. To him, they were tools of the trade, what he spent every day handling.

At the entrance to the warehouse, in a small, broken-down lobby of sorts, he peered through the windows on both sides of the door, though there was no one outside, not even his henchmen. His lips pressed into a firm line as he unlocked the door and swung it open, shotgun levelled, ready to shoot anyone that had thought to disturb his planning.

And yet…there was no one out there. Just an empty path between the warehouses, the streetlamps, all heading back to the twisted wire fencing and the streets beyond the complex.

“Quite unusual," he muttered to himself, on guard, not willing to make any mistakes.

Checking left to right, even up, his eyes fell to his henchmen lying on the ground unconscious as he stepped out the door. He would have cursed under his breath if he cared one bit about them – and if the next thing that his eyes landed on had not been the pile of human waste that was left there as if it had been made just for his eyes.

He reeled, resisting the urge to clap his hand to his face – with the gun or the grenade, neither would have been good options. Scrawled beside the huge pile of bowel movements was a note in red chalk, the broken-off end of the chalk left on the ground, wasted.

“Smell ya later, loser! Love, Harley!"

He growled under his breath, jerking back, anger lining the tight muscles of his body as he slammed the door, locking it behind him. Once again, he had been pranked by Harley! Would that woman never learn? Muttering to himself about how useless his henchmen were, he headed back to his meeting, casting her and her prank from his mind.

His goons could clear up the mess of human excrement, left out in the open air, when they came around.

That wasn't something he had to bother with.

Vignette Two

Wonder Woman

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“Hah!"

Wonder Woman let out a cry as she struck down a mercenary, twisted up in her lasso and tossed aside. As far as she was aware, hovering lightly above the ground in downtown Metropolis, they had been hired by Lex Luthor to attack the city – though for what reason she had not yet uncovered.

That was her next task, flying up in the air, throwing those pursuing her aside as she followed their armoured van, jerking and jostling itself from one side of the street to the other, ignorant of other traffic. Her lips pressed together, following it closely, though the tight streets forced her to fly higher, in her traditional costume with tight black trousers, her gold belt and red Amazonian battle armour, covering her chest while still allowing her full flexibility to fight.

However, the problem, as ever, was that she needed to relieve herself. It was such a common problem to superheroes, who ate so much more food to sustain them and their powers, that she barely even registered anymore and it was not a source of humiliation as some of the younger superheroes and the like saw it as. Even those that didn't have their powers often had to relieve themselves more publicly and in strange, inconvenient places. In her opinion, despite their embarrassment, it was something that they should get over.

Although she did need to continue pursuing the armoured van, she darted off, hastening to keep up her pursuit. An alley would have to do that time, though she zigzagged back and forth so that few would be able to follow the path of her flight, her black hair whipping behind her, streaming out as she used speed to her advantage. The alleyway was dark and dingy and damp and reeked of things that she didn't even want to think of, seeming to be around the back of a restaurant or something. With that in mind, it was still probably one of her better options, without breaking in somewhere to use the facilities.

Wonder Woman frowned and shook her head. No, that would not do: it would take too much time. Ah – there. That spot was the best, rear the back of the alley, which was thankfully empty of anything other than big commercial bins and a staircase, which looked to lead to an apartment. She pursed her lips at the thought of someone having to go up that staircase, with the big gaps between the steps, to reach their home, going through the dank alleyway, but, in the end, that was none of her concern.

She was just there to do her business and then carry on.

Ducking under the staircase for some privacy, she dropped her trousers only enough to allow her to have a bowel movement, everything about her swift motions quick and efficient. Wonder Woman, after all, had had to do similar more than enough times to know what she was doing and her mind was not even there in the moment, thinking of her next move, how she would have to move quickly onward to get to where she needed to go.

But that was the way of it as she bore down, allowing her body to do what it needed to do, dropping the first log of poop quickly. It was thick, as it always was, her body excreting it all as naturally as possible without forcing her stomach into tight cramps. She did her best to breathe slowly and evenly, pushing out another log, though they were much larger than anything a human would produce. In anyone other than a superhero, it would have probably been cause for concern, for the first two logs of waste were sixteen inches at least in length. Actually, the second was more like seventeen, for she had seen more than enough of them in her lifetime to be able to judge them by eye.

But it all needed to be done as she efficiently dropped a third log of waste and some smaller drops, small and hard, compressed by her gut as the waste matter had collected to be excreted. She did not research all that much into the workings of the body in that manner, only knowing what she needed to know.

“Unff…"

She didn't mean to grunt, but it just came out of her, not thinking straight as she tried to be as quick as possible. With three out, there couldn't be that much more, her body compressing all that it could, as if even it was trying to be as quick and as efficient as possible. That was what bodily functions were about – to Wonder Woman, at least. As she excreted one more, bringing the total to four, the fourth log soft and easy to allow to slip out, she knew she was nearly done.

The fourth was the largest of all and even she was, very mildly, impressed to see it topping out at a hard twenty inches, almost amusingly big. It only attested to how much she had had to eat lately to fuel her powers, of course, though she didn't worry too much about things like that. It looked healthy enough, however, sparing only a moment to check over her bowel movements for health. Everything was a rich, dark colour that spoke of her having plenty of water too, though if they were getting harder again she might want to look at her diet. That was just a little note for her, however, the firmer logs of poop crackled lightly where they had been compressed, even though there was very little to no smell at all.

With the deed done, she re-dressed herself, leaping into the air and hurling herself straight back into the fight. With laser intent, she zeroed in on the armoured van, chasing it down the street at superhuman speeds, feeling lighter, fresher, hair whipped straight back from her face. With the van ahead of her, she wasn't going to let it get away.

*

Anna frowned, up in her apartment, sirens wailing outside. What on earth was going on that time? She didn't pay it much mind, considering that Metropolis was constantly being attacked by supervillains. It almost didn't bear her paying attention anymore, but staying well out of the way of what was going on, yes, thank you. Superman or whoever would fight them off.

Yet gunshots going off had her head raised, eyes wide in alarm, windows shattering as an armoured car whipped by her second-floor apartment, too close for comfort with the spray of shattered glass, sending her lunging away from the windows.

“Fuck!"

Her heart pounded and, striving to get to safety, anywhere that could be safe, she raced out the back of her apartment, to the back entrance where the alleyway rose around her. there, that had to be safer, yes, only one way in and out of the alleyway, though thank god no one had come tumbling in her window or anything!

Still, standing up on the metal staircase, outside her back entrance, didn't seem like a safe spot either and Anna shakily jostled her body into motion down the staircase, hating how it rattled, though she was far enough from the windows facing the street there. It was a small comfort, yet her heart still pounded and, as silly as it felt with the city constantly being attacked over seemingly nothing at all, she ducked down behind the staircase. Maybe it was the only thing she could do, as she hunkered down there.

“What the… Yeuch!"

She recoiled, greeted by a huge, the biggest ever that she'd seen, pile of poop in the corner of the stairway, down on street level. If Anna'd never come out that way she would never have seen it, though it startled a shocked bark of laughter from her lips, her eyes wide, shaking with adrenaline.

Who could even produce so much poop like that? She shook her head, holding her hand over her mouth as she inspected it, glad to have the concrete foundation of her apartment and the rest of the building to shield her from whatever danger was going on. There were… Heck, she couldn't even count the number of logs of waste, scattered smaller blobs of poop amongst them, though everything seemed to be very neatly piled. There was not a single bowel movement amongst them smaller than sixteen inches, however, which shocked her to her core. Surely, that could not be normal? Or by any means not human? But it didn't look at all like dog droppings either, just sized-up human waste.

Who on earth could be responsible for that? She shook her head again, keeping her distance from it for she didn't want to get any on her slippers, even if they were probably ruined after running out in them. Who knew what was on those stairs? For she had not known what laid under the staircase, the huge pile of waste that looked as if it had been placed there comically for someone to find, so big that it looked as crazy, to her, as the chaos going on outside.

Maybe the world really was going mad around her.

Anna did not know.

---

Vignette Three

Bleez, Star Sapphire and Arisia

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Arisia grunted, trying to ignore the nagging need in the back of her mind, blonde hair tickling her ears. She was dressed in form-fitting white armour and simple bottoms that allowed her full flexibility, teaming up with Star Sapphire and Bleez to take on a group of Sinestro Corp members. Hovering in space for her was second nature, though the alliance between the three of them, well… That was not something that Arisia had ever expected to come through.

But they were together now as they flew through space, not feeling air flickering by them, weightlessness pressing in around. Though they could only exist out there, of course, with their special powers, every member of the team bringing something different to the table.

Flying through space, they entered the atmosphere of the planet believed to be Sinestro Corp's next target: a barren wasteland that was said to hold great mineral fields and untold riches if mined. That was why it was protected, but, well, Sinestro didn't bother with legalities like that. If anything, a planet being protected made it a target.

Bleez, however, was not comfortable, not quite dressed as practically as Arisia in long, thigh-high boots and a form-fitting bodysuit that came down the length of her arms, but left a span of bare, faint blue-green skin free around her thighs and hips. Her skeleton-esque wings raised above her, flickering with a red flame, her mask in place covering the top half of her face with the two bat wings rising from either side of it. She made a face, lips pressed together hard, though it had to come out, one way or another.

Literally, Bleez couldn't keep it in forever.

“I have to use the bathroom!" She blurted out, a darker hint of colour in her cheeks. “Before the fight! Curse this…"

Of course, she was could not be embarrassed by the fact that her powers meant that she had to excrete more waste, of course not, but it was inconvenient, especially on the precipice of anticipated battle. And yet that meant even more so that she couldn't just stay there and ignore the needs of her body, which Arisia knew very well. She didn't know Bleez as well as she wanted to, however, though chose not to press into the other's flustered demeanour. It probably wouldn't end well for her.

Star Sapphire sighed. Dressed in a full-body bodysuit with shaped embellishments on the front, her long hair flowing freely, Arisia thought that she was probably the least well-dressed for what was to inevitably come next.

“Come on," Arisia said, cutting off further complaints. “Let's land here, in the field. If we go now, we won't have to wait."

Bleez darted down, not waiting for them, though Star Sapphire and Arisia, of course, followed her. They went as a team, even if they were allies still working one another out.

The field was more of a bare expanse of rocks with some scrubby vegetation, the ground with a decidedly grey tint to it. There was nowhere really for them to go to hide, so it was something that they would have to deal with. Arisia tried not to show how embarrassed she was, having been around others who had had to defecate openly in the past too, but that was something still that was easier said than done.

She told herself it was out of practicality, noting how Sapphire Star took a little more distance too, everyone taking care of their own business. Although the need to excrete her waste was there in the back of Arisia's mind, she didn't honestly need to go that bad yet. Maybe that would mean that it would be quick?

She dropped the clothing from the bottom half of her body, squatting awkwardly as she leaned on a small rock, lowering her back end as much as she could. It was hard to bear down when her body was not ready to defecate, but it was still doable as she pushed out one thick log of waste, harder than expected and straining at her body as it sought to relieve itself. Once she had started, of course, it was easier to continue, the first dropping to the ground with a very soft thud, though she had lowered herself more than enough that it was barely noticeable at all.

Arisia pressed her lips together, not thinking about what she was doing, one eye back, carefully, on what her body was producing. Still, it was important to check her own health, and considering how often she needed to use the bathroom, checking her poop was one of the most convenient ways, even then, to do it. It was a lighter colour, especially the second bowel movement that eased from her, but still indicated good health, at least to her, the second softer than the first, but larger, a good ten inches. The first must have been roughly eight, though that was still normal for her at least. It seemed to be the same for Star Sapphire, Arisia catching sight of her out of the corner of her eye, though she tried not to stare. She'd done what she needed to do and so had Star Sapphire.

Yet when she stood, dressed again, she was more than surprised to see Bleez still crouched, angrily bearing down with a grunt.

“Unff! Damn it!"

Her bowel movement was shockingly large, much larger than anything that Star Sapphire or Arisia had ever produced, at a good twenty-three inches! But that was the one on the ground and not the one that she was forcing out of her body, panting softly, her lips parted as she evidently tried to get through everything as quickly as possible.

“Oh!"

Star Sapphire flinched and took a step back, looking away, evidently embarrassed, though Arisia was very much in the same boat as her. She'd thought they would head off again pretty quickly, but it seemed that Bleez was not yet done and there was the matter of their own smaller bodily movements on the ground already, no one quite wanting to acknowledge what was going on. Arisia sighed, pressing a hand to her face. Why did everything have to be so stomach-twistingly embarrassing? She hated the hot heat of it. And what was up with Bleez? Was that really normal for her?

Bleez shot them a look, her face a darker shade than usual, though, to be fair, she had every right to be angry at them, staring without being able to take their eyes from her for too long. If they weren't directly looking at Bleez, they knew what was going on there anyway, the last of the three left to relieve herself out there in the open with no one else distracted at all.

“How is it…" Star Sapphire shook her head, trying to not say anything and failing. “It's so big – why is that?"

Bleez grunted and shook her head, but wasn't in a position to do anything to Star Sapphire for contesting her.

“I ate a very large amount today!" She shot back, rage biting in the back of her tone. “And last night! I knew it would help in battle and I wanted extra energy, you should know that already. Stop looking! Fuck! Fuck you!"

She probably didn't mean to swear and curse at them, Arisia thought, but, well, that was the way Bleez was anyway. She was something of an acquired taste in that regard and sometimes one had to wonder whose side she was on, either way.

“It's nothing to be embarrassed about, Bleeze," Arisia tried to say, even though she would have been very embarrassed, red and hot in the face, if she had been the one delivering such a bowel movement from her body. “Um… Take your time, it's okay. We don't have to be ready…yet."

It was hard to get the words out at that time, the twenty-six-inch, shockingly huge bowel movement dropping at long last as Bleez started, clearly, on the next. They didn't look directly at her, keeping a respectful, polite distance, though it was not all that easy, not considering how fluently Bleeze was swearing at them. Why, even some of those human curses Arisia had not heard for herself! She was not one to be like that, truth be told, but she still filed them away as depravities that were said at the point where someone was quite uncomfortable. That was a very delicate way of putting it though.

“Bleez, I'm sorry," Sapphire said, shooting Arisia a look, trying to be as apologetic as possible. “We didn't mean to anger you, or be mean to you, not at all, ah… It's just, we were surprised, we're sorry."

“Fuck off with your staring! Just because your bodies are different to mine!"

The curses followed and Arisia shook her head, taking a further step away from Bleez, even as the audible torrent followed. It would take a lot more than a little space to stop them from hearing Bleez even as her swearing was punctuated with grunts as she bore down all over again, trying to get out the last of her bowel movements. And yet there were so big and dark in colour that, even to Arisia, it was a wonder that they had even fit inside her at all, that they had come out of her at all. Still, bodies like theirs, even though Bleez was embarrassed by it, were truly a mystery at times. That was not to be helped.

Finally, Bleez finished with a bowel movement that was somewhat more manageable, for her, and yet still shocking at its size, adding it to the pile of four large ones that were already present. They snaked with curves in them as if they were not solid enough to stay firm in a single log, though that was normal for her, considering their massive size. Even the thickness of them seemed as if it had been enough to be different for Bleez to push out, though she pushed her outfit back into place and stood, flipping them off.

“To hell with your staring!"

Arisia sighed and shook her head. Well, that was Bleez. Some things, even then, would never change.

“Let's go, Star Sapphire, Bleez."

That was not something that anyone was ever going to mention again, though Star Sapphire did exchange a grimace with Arisia. Arisia wondered if Star Sapphire was also grateful that, while troublesome, her bowel movements were not as large or as difficult to pass (probably due to their size alone) as they were evidently for Bleez. That was something, however, that she would never say to Bleez, not expressing sympathy for her in any way.

She sighed again. The day was not yet done.

I hope the battle goes well… A win after all this would be appreciated.

_ _

For they still had a job to do out there.

Vignette Four

Zatanna

---

Zatanna cursed, sending a man flying back away from her with a fire spell, saying the name of what she wanted backwards. It allowed the magician to sharpen her focus onto what she wanted specifically, though in the turmoil of the streets, well, it was harder to push away the niggling feeling in the back of her mind, what she didn't want to acknowledge. She was a powerful magician, for Christ's sake – it wasn't something that she wanted to pay attention to, not at all!

The men surrounded her, though they should have known better to take on her as she hurled them back with a push of energy.

“Yawa!" She grimaced, clenching her jaw, the need gurgling in her stomach. “Ekirts!"

They were basic attacks and yet her mind was elsewhere and the need to defecate pressed upon her with every-increasing urgency. No, no, she would not think about that, she didn't have to think about the awkward, churning gurgle in her stomach as she dodged bullets, frowning as she cast a spell to freeze them in the air.

“Llits!"

The bullets stopped in mid-air, dropping to the ground. Gunfire echoed and she leapt, turning a backflip, hands flickering with magic as she cradled it, though the cramp in her stomach snarled and gurgled with ever-increasing urgency. It was even almost enough for Zatanna to mistime her attack, sending a burst of fire magic at them, a rain of fiery pebbles streaming down, forcing her ill-timed attackers to take cover.

Yet, as she landed and heads and guns poked out of hiding places, almost in an amusing way, for they still thought that they could win the fight that they had surely been sent into to die, her stomach churned again. Not much, to be fair, but enough for her to not be able to concentrate, the gurgling burble in the pit of her belly signifying her upset intestines. For someone who was not as in tune with her body as Zatanna was, it was possible that someone else would not have even noticed it.

Zatanna, on the other hand, knew what that pull and the pressure, the urgent press of need, meant and that it was not something that she could simply ignore just because she didn't want to deal with it.

“Not now…"

She groaned, attention slipping. That wasn't good. Not good at all.

Zatanna shook her head, dodging an ill-timed attack, though it had to be done. Leaping in the air with a bullet flying past her head, she growled.

“Emit ezeerf!"

Time froze, just like that, even if it was not something that Zatanna could actively control for a long time. It would have been considered playing with time, though she only had a limited effect on the things around her while time was frozen. Her attackers surrounded her and she took a moment to take in what they were wearing, the combat gear and how they were decked out with all the latest tactical gear, more guns holstered that they hadn't even touched yet. Someone had it out for her, though they didn't know who they were dealing with, clearly.

With time frozen, she could relieve herself, not caring that it was technically right there in the middle of the fight. She yanked aside her bodysuit, which covered only her torso, not extending down her limbs, fitted like a swimsuit, in a way, though the long boots and net stockings made sure that her modest was kept. Still, it was perhaps not the most appropriate attire to use the bathroom in or to fight in. Sometimes, things just didn't work out as one was expecting.

Like always, Zatanna had to make do, one way or another.

“Grrff…"

The sound was more one of annoyance than anything else, though it was easier for her, knowing that she didn't have to leave her waste there for everyone to see. It meant that she could focus on what she needed to do, only enough of her backside exposed so that she could defecate, though her outfit at the very least meant that her modesty was preserved throughout, not revealing anything at all.

She bore down, squeezing out the first, her stomach gurgling lightly, though that would all get better very quickly, she was sure of it. She just had to get it all out of her and then everything would be fine, she'd be more comfortable again, dropping the first to the ground with a solid plop. It felt firm, as firm as normal, though she would not check that everything was okay with her body under the last had been excreted, concentrating fully.

She squeezed down on the next, knowing that it was over twelve inches, for it took that long to come out of her, pushing out the slightly squashy log. It felt thick around too, though she knew she would be fine and perfectly clean afterwards, not something amongst all the worries of the world that Zatanna at all had to worry about. The third came with a solid push as she placed a hand on her stomach, squatting a little lower, though she didn't care about lifting her hips too far and accidentally making a mess. All of it would be portalled away afterwards anyway, so it would be fresh and clean, and then she could leap straight back into the fight that she should already have ended.

It was not just a couple of bowel movements that she needed to eliminate from her body, unfortunately, forcing out a third, breathing a little more heavily than normal. She wished that she didn't need to go as often as she did and at such inconvenient times, but, well, there was only so much she could do, really, about that side of things. She could only try to make it all go as quickly as possible, her cheeks a little pink even though it was not all that bad. At least, that was what she told herself.

It still meant that she had to bear down, concentrating on the task of adding a fourth bowel movement to the pile, though it was all quite a bit neater than it usually was for her. Glancing back, she noted the sizes with a grimace. There was nothing under eleven inches there, though some of the bowel movements were thinner, which must have been the couple that were easier for her to squeeze out.

“Unff… Come on…"

Time may have been frozen, but Zatanna could not help but roll her eyes, glancing at those around her, calculating, wanting to think about her next move. And yet it was hard to squeeze out the next bowel movement, the fifth that she was adding to the rough pile, bearing down with all the concentration she had in her. Her mind should have been on the fight and, still, she was caught by having to go to the bathroom right in the middle of it all over again!

She wondered if it might have been better to teleport to an abandoned building or something, but, well, at least she could leap straight back into the fray as soon as she was done. The fifth, hard, long log of waste plopped to the ground as she breathed a sigh of relief, working on what felt like the last, from how the ache in her stomach had lessened. Her cheeks pinked up a little, but Zatanna ignored that, for there was nothing honestly to be embarrassed about, not when they couldn't see her there and had no idea what she was doing.

None of her bowel movements were less than eleven inches in length, though two were closer to fifteen or sixteen inches, one curled lightly, crackled down the length, which another was softer. Everything looked healthy though and she rolled her eyes with a sigh, working on the last as she sought to get back to everything.

The final one was the biggest of all and it left her with a feeling of relief, at least sixteen inches long, although to Zatanna it felt even larger than that. Glaring at the men around her, Zatanna made sure she was fresh and clean and re-dressed herself, though, thankfully, that didn't take much at all with her current outfit.

“Now, to get rid of this… Hm." Zatanna considered where to send it, magic called to the forefront of her mind. “Stropelet!"

There: that would do. A portal enveloped her bowel movements, teleporting them away, somewhere far away, all where she didn't have to deal with them anymore.

Unfreezing time, she put herself in a good position to continue, a fire spell on the tip of her tongue, back in her element.

*

The mountain climbers had set up their camp at a high altitude, relaxing before a hard day of climbing as the slopes grew steeper and steeper. They needed to keep up their strength, after all, especially as the air became thinner and they climbed higher, snow on the ground. It would only grow more difficult from there.

Courtney clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she knelt beside her tent, checking her supply bag, when a ring of glittering, crackling light appeared beside her – right between the two tents!

“Ah!"

It was all the startled cry that she could get from her lips as she startled away, scrambling back in the snow, though she was wearing the right gear for the weather, crunching and scraping backwards through it with wide eyes. Her hood had been pulled up around her head, though Allison had heard her, asking her if she was alright.

Courtney couldn't answer her, however, not as a steaming, fresh pile of very large bowel movements appeared out of thin air in the snow! They plopped down between the two tents as if they had been there all along, a pile of huge poop that didn't look like it could have come from any person, though it was most certainly not from any animal either.

Courtney gaped at it, one gloved hand clapped to her mouth in horror, the poop warm enough to very slightly melt the snow in its immediate vicinity, right at the edges. It was so subtle that Courtney would not have noticed it if she had not been staring so closely, horrified by what had happened, why there was suddenly a ridiculously large pile of human waste right there, as if she had merely stumbled upon it when, in fact, it had appeared out of thin air.

It was so big too that she couldn't help pausing to look it over more closely, as if in a kind of morbid curiosity that even she did not quite understand. How it had gotten there was a mystery, but who in the world would have poop that long and thick? It looked as if it might have been painful to defecate, unless it had truly come from a much larger animal, though, to Courtney, it did, frankly, look like any other bowel movement except for the fact that it was much larger. It cooled quickly, six logs of waste and no smaller bits of poop laid over one another as if they had been tossed there. In fact, however they had gotten there, that was an apt description of what had happened there.

“Courtney?"

Allison rustled at her tent, yet, frozen where she stood, Courtney did not move.

“Courtney?"

Allison emerged, yawning, brushing sleep from her eyes, taking in the morning hiking conditions. Her lips parted as if to say something…and then her eyes landed on the pile of human excrement, lying there in the snow, waiting for her to notice it.

“What's going… Ergh! Gross, Courtney! What the hell?"

Allison reeled in horror from the pile of human waste even as Courtney leapt back as if she had been stung, flapping her hands wildly and shaking her head.

“No, no, no – it wasn't me, I swear!"

But Allison was not to be stopped.

“Courtney, I can't even believe you, come on!" She cursed, making a disgusted face, her lips all twisted up and face sucked in. “Couldn't you even go a few feet away from camp? We must move around that now to get the guy lines down! And the tent pegs!"

“I swear to you, Allison," Courtney implored her, heart hammering with embarrassment that was not hers to hold. “It just totally appeared out of nowhere! I swear it! It's just…I don't know how to say it, it just appeared!"

Allison rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

“Uh-huh, yeah, sure, so it just, like, appeared out of nowhere, sure thing, Courtney…"

Courtney swallowed her pride, stepping away. She wasn't going to convince Allison that it wasn't hers, though Allison should have known that no person could do that much poop in one go! Ugh, maybe she thought that Courtney had been even grosser than that? Courtney shuddered. No, that didn't bear thinking about, no…

She'd just have to get on with the climb and hope against all goddamn hope that Allison would forget about the poop that had appeared in the snow…

Vignette Five

Arisia & Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman hunched down tightly behind a stack of wooden crates in a side room off from a hallway inside the mountain fortress, cold and damp and promising trouble. The fortress was mostly a network of modernised caves, some natural and others forcibly bored and chiselled out of the mountain by human hands and tools, but it served the purpose – and that was for Deathstroke. One more fortress was just like another, though there was just as much risk for her there as there was anywhere else, outside damp, cold, frozen at a higher altitude.

Wearing her traditional outfit, the Amazonian battle armour and her long, black, skin-tight trousers that allowed her flexibility, she was ready for a fight. Arisia crouched near, the blonde-haired woman from the same kind of world as her – in the sense that neither of them belonged on Earth. She was suitably dressed in a body-only bodysuit, leaving her legs exposed, the white symbolising something that Wonder Woman did not ask, not that time.

“Deathstroke is coming," she said quietly, not needing to raise her voice. “If we don't capture him before he makes that speech, the army will attack Metropolis."

Arisia nodded, a muscle tightening and jumping in the corner of her jaw.

“We can't let that happen," she said with a nod, as resolute as Wonder Woman, so it seemed. “I'm with you."

Wonder Woman's heart surged. To have such comrades with her in battle… It was something that she knew she was fortunate to have, for her teammates were not always so much on the same page as her, it had to be said. But that was the way of it in a world with so many great powers, universes and planets beyond the imaginings of any singular one coming together to shake up the order, time after time again.

Arisia, however, did not appear quite comfortable there beside Wonder Woman and the older woman, or at least the leader of the two for the moment, paused, looking her over.

“Are you well?" She asked, for it was no time for either one of them to be taken ill. “If we require back-up, we should call for it now."

Arisia grimaced and shook her head. Was that the hint of a blush, heat that didn't need to be there, in Arisia's cheeks? Wonder Woman's brow furrowed, concern rising. That was strange, very strange.

“Uh…" Arisia shook her head. “It's…no, it's nothing."

Wonder Woman sighed.

“Please, tell me, we don't have time for this."

She tried to be patient, but, truly, she didn't have the patience for it, not when there was so much at stake there. Frankly, there were very few times indeed when things were not on the line for them, though Wonder Woman supposed that, on Earth, normal, human, law enforcement would have been brought in if there was no need for them as superheroes. It made sense to her, anyway.

“Um…" Arisia really didn't seem to want to say what was going on, practically squirming in place as if she was trying to find a way out of saying what was going on. “I have to…use the bathroom."

Wonder Woman muttered under her breath. Of course, it was that! Completely normal, of course, but not something that they really wanted to have to deal with in the thick of it all!

“Well, we cannot leave the room without alerting the guards," Wonder Woman said, matter-of-factly, considering the logistics of it. “It'll ruin the ambush. Look, you can't go into battle like that. Why don't you just go take care of it in the corner of the room."

She noticed Arisia's hesitation, the look of shock on her face, perhaps at Wonder Woman suggesting that she go to the bathroom so close to her. And yet that was something that Wonder Woman had seen on more than one occasion already with others like Power Girl, how they had not wanted to be embarrassed by exposing themselves in public (or comparative public, when it came to just them and Wonder Woman in the same room), not wanting to take care of their bodily needs despite it being something that they couldn't exactly ignore.

Thankfully, for Wonder Woman, she had grown used to it over the years and it was very much something that she was no longer embarrassed by, not something that concerned her in the slightest. Maybe that was something that she could, at least, try to pass on to Arisia?

“It's completely natural," she said more gently, softening her tone. “It's only something that we have to deal with. It's okay, I won't look. Do not worry."

Arisia swallowed and sighed, brushing her hand back through her hair. That must have been a nervous reflex, though perhaps one that she had picked up off the humans she had been around. Interesting.

“Okay… Thank you for understanding."

Arisia, surely, would have preferred to go find a bathroom, though Wonder Woman was also glad that she had not pushed the issue and tried to go out there where the guards would have been. As careful as Arisia surely could be, the problem was that if they were spotted then that was the end of their ambush. And who knew how many lives would be lost if they did not complete their mission satisfactorily?

Still, she did keep an eye on Arisia, concerned about her, even though they were not particularly close – not at that time. It was so strange, even to Wonder Woman, that some of the superheroes and even those with greater powers only, not super ones, were shy about defecating and needing to go to the bathroom far more frequently than regular people. It was merely a side-effect of being who they were, though Arisia seemed to be well-practised at least at tugging her outfit out of the way, exposing her backside only enough so that she would be able to take care of her bowel movement.

Of course, Wonder Woman could not see that, Arisia with her back to one wall, in the corner of the room, facing away from her. She still had to stay on the lookout, of course, though it would be more than obvious if the door opened and, further back, Arisia was thankfully well-hidden too, which was something to be grateful for also. Always thinking strategically, it was still her responsibility to look after Arisia and ensure that she was safe, even when it was a mission that they were on together. Despite their differences and Arisia's evident experience, she still felt as if she was in charge, the leader. But maybe that was slightly shown more in Arisia's wavering inexperience around relieving her bowel movements around anyone else only.

She should really give the other woman more credit and not barge in, taking the lead, all the time.

But, of course, that was something that Wonder Woman could think about another time. The mission at hand was what was important right then and there. Still, even though she had told Arisia that she wasn't going to watch, there was a little bit of her that was curious about it, in the sense of finding out how different their bodies were.

While Wonder Woman watched, carefully, out of the corner of her eye, Arisia excreted a large bowel movement, bigger than even Wonder Woman might have immediately expected from her. It proved to be a thick, long log of waste, solid and lightly compacted so that no bits broke off as she defecated, though Arisia had her eyes closed, focusing entirely on squeezing it out. Momentarily, Wonder Woman was flattered that Arisia trusted her enough to close her eyes around her, even then. Though perhaps that was another note against her watching, that she should not have been keeping a close eye on Arisia in that way, not that closely.

But it was really too late for Wonder Woman to plead deniability to herself and look away fully, keeping the edge of one eye on her, never fully looking at Arisia as the first poop fell to the floor. It looked healthy, though that was something that only some superheroes were concerned with, checking one obvious part of themselves for health when it happened so frequently for them. They were large, as large as what Wonder Woman herself would produce, and Wonder Woman winced in sympathy.

It was not just the one bowel movement, of course, that had to come out, a second swiftly following, Arisia politely keeping her mouth closed so that she was not too vocal about needing to bear down, to push. It was just something they had to do as a second brown poop followed the first, a little darker in colour. That looked about the same consistency as the first, though Wonder Woman tried not to think about that side of things, even though she was considering it purely as she would anything that came out of her own body. Sometimes, old habits just like that died a lot harder than one might have liked.

The room was small enough for Wonder Woman to catch when Arisia let out a little grunt of exertion, the second plopping down while Arisia went to work, seemingly, on what had to be the last. Wonder Woman raised an eyebrow, surprised at the size of the bowel movements. By eye, she gauged what had been deposited already to be seventeen inches long, perhaps even eighteen, though the first was thinner at the start than it was at the end. Bodies were funny things like that, changing shape as they squeezed out waste matter from their bodies. But, that was of no real matter, no, not really.

She's pushing so hard, Wonder Woman thought to herself, though it was just something to distract her from looking too closely, which she very much still should not have been doing. There must be one more in her, yes. I wonder if it will be bigger or smaller than the last? Maybe she even has to use bathrooms as frequently as I do.

_ _

It was not something really talked about amongst superheroes, Wonder Woman's lips twitching. It was as close to a grimace as she would guess.

Oh, look… Wonder Woman caught sight of Arisia's changing expression again. Ah, that looks like it's a trickier one, poor woman. Come on, Arisia, just a bit more and we'll be done with all this. On to the mission, doing what we need to…

_ _

Arisia let out a grunt and Wonder Woman's head jerked back towards her reflexively.

She goes more quickly than some though, I'll give her that. It's good… Efficient to be like that. You cannot hang around too much when a battle is going on, after all, even if this is something that our bodies will still do at the most inconvenient of times.

_ _

Wonder Woman watched as Arisia grunted and, finally, got rid of the final log of waste from her body. There were no smaller pieces, which Wonder Woman noted without really feeling or thinking anything about it, though all three poops were hard and firm in their consistency, everything about Arisia, that she could see, as healthy as she could be. It was good to know, even in a rather strange way, that the woman she was going into battle against Deathstroke with was as ready as she could be. And, at least then, she would not have to worry about Arisia ducking out in the middle of a fight to use the bathroom when her need was so great that she really couldn't hold back for a moment longer.

That, in fact, was a very plausible thing to have to happen. Especially considering that it was something that Wonder Woman had faced on more than one occasion.

She breathed a soft sigh as Arisia re-dressed herself, tugging everything back into place and murmuring to herself. It was only a brief sound, but it was still there.

“Thank you," Arisia said, re-joining her, though there was no real hiding the pile of waste in the corner of the room, nothing there with which they could cover it up. “I had been holding that in for a while, I did not think… Well, I thought there would be a better chance to relieve myself."

Wonder Woman smiled, keeping her eyes fixed on Arisia, rather than her waste. It was not that she particularly wanted to look at Arisia's poop, but more that as soon as someone was told not to do something or look at something the urge became greater than anything else. Poor Arisia still appeared to be quite embarrassed, redder in the face than she had been when she'd left, her hair a little ruffled, holding her left arm with her right across her body, her thumb rubbing softly at her bare skin.

“That is no problem," she said as gently and yet still as clearly as she could. “It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

That seemed to settle Arisia a little, for which Wonder Woman was relieved. She didn't want her mind to be elsewhere, not when they were on the job.

She turned, eyes bright, fixed on the door. With her super hearing, she picked up the sound of heavily booted feet, some distance down the stone corridor outside their hideaway. With a grin, she nodded to Arisia.

“It's time!"

Finally, Deathstroke was there, close by in the hallway, the two superheroes leaping into action to smash through the walls, scattering stone in a cacophony of chaos. They had the jump on them, the element of surprise, and everything that had taken place in that small room between them was left behind, not even mattering at all anymore.

Yet, still, there was a large pile of poop behind them, three big bowel movements. It was so obvious, even there in the corner of the room, the three, fat logs of waste just lying there, waiting for the next person to discover them. Superheroes didn't always know what happened to their poop afterwards, when they had to go in unconventional places, but it was not really any of their concern. Being a bodily function, it was just one more thing that they had to get used to, all in the course of their powers and their life. It had only been a surprise, to her, that Wonder Woman herself had not needed to join Arisia, though perhaps she would be the one to need to duck out of battle to relieve herself. She could only hope, if that was the case, that Arisia would be able to hold her own without her and, of course, that she would be able to relieve herself with speed and efficiency, just as Arisia did.

For a superhero, it was just a fact of life.

Vignette Six

Zatanna

---

Zatanna pressed her lips together, as serious as ever as she tracked Enchantress. It was not for the first time, though it was the first hideout of Enchantress' that she had sought to uncover, on the edge of a rural town that was large enough to throw her for a loop and yet that she still had to work her way through.

The magician, dressed in her black fishnets that came all the way up to her bodysuit, which was soft and form-fitting, allowing Zatanna to bend in whatever direction was needed for her work, paused. This wasn't the right way, even though she was quite sure that she had found Enchantress' hideout. The corridors within the old, creaking building were like something from another world, a strange amalgamation of the modern world and one that only Enchantress lived in, twisted through spells and potions.

No, that right turn had been wrong, Zatanna decided, backtracking down the corridor with open beams on show, rolling her eyes at the flouncy style choices of her target. She'd never understand that one – but she didn't have to for her to capture her.

There! There she was. Zatanna grinned, hiding behind the doorframe, as quiet as a mouse, not moving a muscle for fear that the smallest step would make the floorboards under her creak. Couldn't the woman afford any better flooring that didn't creak and squeak all the time? Still, she had her target, the doorway opening into a room where Enchantress waved her hands softly and slowly over what was clearly a bubbling potion in a huge cauldron. Set over a simmer flame in the middle of the room, the scene could have come straight from a book on fantasy tales for children, though Zatanna was not there to mock. After all, she was a magician.

Enchantress had to be up to something, though Zatanna was quick to take her chance, muttering a quick spell to make her body lighter as she darted to a short table, stacked high with books. With the long tablecloth upon it falling to the ground, it at least meant that she could hide there while formulating the last bits of her plan, making sure that everything came together just as she needed it to.

“Mmm… I think it is time."

Zatanna hunched down, though her eyes widened, unable to look away, her plan falling from her mind. How could it remain there, after all, as Enchantress stripped herself of her long, green pants, which came down to her calves, not caring at all for her lower half nudity. There was not much on display there, to be fair to her, as she used the power of levitation, magic flowing through her, to hover, cross-legged, her back to Zatanna.

What the hell is she doing?

That could have been the perfect time to strike and yet Zatanna was as frozen as if she had cast one of her spells on herself. She didn't know why Enchantress would do that, why she would act like that, though it was very much something that Zatanna was already familiar with herself. After all, those that were out in the field as much as her and her teammates, especially the more reluctant ones, often had to relieve their bodily needs in terribly inconvenient, unconventional places.

It all became clear, however, when the first bowl movement pushed out, long and thick, Zatanna reeling.

Oh, hell_!_

_ _

Of course, there was nothing Zatanna could do, staring on in horror as much as she tried to look away, all as Enchantress literally dropped her waste into the cauldron. Well, the first had not even falling yet, but it was still going in that direction, her lower jaw slack, still not knowing what the hell she was looking at, something that her mind refused to acknowledge. It was one thing, of course, when she needed to go out in public and did things like freezing time to ensure that she could relieve herself and get rid of her poop afterwards, but another entirely to float above a cauldron to relieve oneself in there!

What Enchantress was doing, undoubtedly, was to remain a mystery to Zatanna, who was not about to leap out and distract her, or even ask what she was doing, in the middle of it. She should have looked away, though Zatanna could not even explain to herself what was going on, why she was so transfixed by it, like a show that she couldn't look away from even as it spiralled out of control.

Plop!

_ _

That was the sound of the first poop splashing into the cauldron, though it was a time when Zatanna – or anyone else – would not be able to count the number of bowel movements that came from another. Enchantress, surely, was not bothered at all by that, humming a soft tune to herself, entirely unperturbed by what was going on, though Zatanna knew, even from a brief glimpse, that what Enchantress had released had to be a good twelve inches long.

She shuddered, glancing away but looking back again, her eyes drawn there. Shoot, she had come at the wrong time, another smaller round of poo plopping out, followed by another and another, though they were gone too quickly for her to see anything other, really, than the dark shade. Some smaller pieces came after them, a moderate brown and log-shaped still, softer and more easily passed as Enchantress let out a sigh.

“Oh, that is better," she said, as if everything she was doing was a decision she was making for herself. “Much better. That is what is needed…"

The words came from her lips quite naturally, as if Enchantress believed that she was entirely alone there. Of course, she had no reason to suspect that anyone was watching her, least of all Zatanna, but Zatanna did not intend to alert her at all to her presence until the opportune moment. And that would be right when Enchantress was finished, her body relaxing after she had fully relieved her bowels of their full load.

Even hearing it being done was almost enough to make Zatanna feel like she needed to go to the bathroom herself, though she did her best to resist, pressing her legs together and ignoring the sensation in the pit of her stomach. No, that was just her imagination, not something that she needed to address, no.

Enchantress pushed out another log of poop, thick and soft, falling apart as it pushed from her, though it was still a good fourteen inches long. Zatanna, of course, had more than enough experience guessing sizes, purely out of boredom, when it came to her own, though it still struck her as strange that Enchantress was doing it over the cauldron.

Another firmer log plopped down with a splash and then another – and then a little more became clearer, at least to Zatanna. That was as the potion turned from a bubbling, simmering blue to shades of blue-green, the in-between of colouration, as if it was transforming. Zatanna would not have thought that poop could have done anything at all to a potion like that, but, of course, Enchantress must have had a reason for doing what she was, even if it was beyond Zatanna's comprehension.

It had to be something for the potion, Zatanna tipping forward tensely as two more big bowel movements, easily fifteen inches long and firm as they fell, dropped into the cauldron, splashing the liquid up as it finally turned to pure green. Without the fire striking up even more, the liquid came to a boil, Enchantress letting out another sigh. It was a shame, however, that Enchantress did not seem to have anything of a penchant for talking to herself, because Zatanna could have used a little more of that to pick up on what exactly her plans were.

Another slender pole of poop slid out, easily that time, fourteen inches long and followed by a thicker one, though it was so quick that Zatanna could only estimate it to be thirteen inches long. She shook her head, berating herself, once again, for watching as she was, though even Zatanna knew that what she was doing was just going to be like that. After she captured Enchantress, little else was going to matter anyway. There was no smell to the poop, after all, and she did it herself in unconventional locations, so it was not as if Zatanna was, in any way, any kind of stranger to it. She'd just, perhaps, rather not be watching it as explicitly as all that.

But anyone could have said that, quite honestly. No one wanted to watch someone else poop, not like that, and Zatanna sighed and shook her head, lamenting her situation all over again. Being a magician was what she wanted to be – going out on missions and such, well… She'd more than had second thoughts about all that and so had many others.

But that was not the point of the matter as, finally, Enchantress finished relieving her body of every bit of poop there had been in there, pressing a hand to her lower stomach as she hummed. The potion swirled and bubbled with a bright blue hue, misty over the surface, though, judging from the potential temperature, the poop itself could have made it steamy too. However, that was not something that Zatanna was going to at all get herself involved in. Not a single one of the woman's poops had been under eleven inches with more being closer to fourteen or fifteen inches, despite the obvious natural differences in texture and the thickness of them.

When it came to someone else, Zatanna simply didn't to involve herself more than making the observation, even if it had, to be fair, been impossible to just sit there and ignore everything. Just who the heck would she have been if that had been the case, after all? She didn't know anything about making potions and, after all that, didn't have any desire to either.

With Enchantress, unfortunately, relieved and with her eyes closed, hovering in mid-air, it was the perfect time for Zatanna to strike. Sure, it was probably uncouth to attack someone who did not have anything on their bottom half, but she was running out of time and ideas to make her move. It was the best chance she had, bringing a freezing spell to the forefront of her mind, the magic merely a breath away.

“Ezeerf."

With that, the mission was set.

She only wished that she had not had to play dirty voyeur to Enchantress' poop the whole time…

---

Vignette Seven

Circe & Superwoman

---

Dressed in an off-the-shoulders bodysuit, her entire torso, legs and arms covered in the slinky, black fabric that hugged her form and her muscle, Superwoman smirked subtly. She didn't need to be obvious about it, not with Circe on her side too, the two of them teamed up finally to get revenge on the Justice League after a recent attack.

“They will not know we are coming," Circe said, the witch enunciating every word clearly, though there was, perhaps, not so much of a need to when she and Superwoman were so close together. “The base is quiet…"

Circe's long, red hair was braided in twin braids, but she kept pace easily with Superwoman as they slipped into the base, a military-like building. Sometimes the Justice League had more modernised buildings that looked like museums or show rooms, sometimes even laboratories, but this particular one was more as if there were experiments taking place there, something that was beyond their honest comprehension. That was, if they were even interested in that sort of thing – which they were not, until it was something that could be used against them. They were only interested in what they could use, their focus and intelligence lying in very specific fields, between Superwoman's powers, which had grown, and Circe's magic, which had been used to, in a sense, give herself powers too.

They did not creep through the base, but they stalked, heads lifted proudly, intent on danger. And yet there was no one there, a flash from Circe blacking out the cameras, though in a neat trick of technology, the records would only show an empty hallway when the recordings were played back. Superwoman only knew that because Circe had told her herself, proud of the achievement. Yet Superwoman's attention was fleeting, even then.

Circe paused, seemingly taking in the defences, how the corridors were smoothly turning, no corners in sight.

“They must not want to have anyone backed into a corner," she said, scoping it out for strategy. “Clever, for them."

The base, Superwoman had to agree, was extremely well-guarded. They had only juts gotten in past the magical defences, though it had been Circe who had stripped down most of those. She had a little more experience with that sort of thing, though they would need to do the same again to get out and Superwoman thought that she could mimic that.

However, the needs of Superwoman's body gurgled in her guts, telling her that she needed to do something, right then, that she really would rather not have.

Superwoman sighed. Well, if she had to… It was not as if she could force it down and she was in a better place than usual to go to the bathroom, her body urging her with the need. It was so embarrassing to have to go more frequently still, though it was not something that she had ever gotten used to.

“I will be right back," she said, half-turning away already. “I must use the bathroom."

Circe gave her a strange look. Superwoman had always thought that Circe, to be fair, was more than a little strange.

“Not a problem, I will join you as I need to go also," she said. “It's better to deal with it before a fight, after all."

Superwoman stiffened.

“Uh, no, no… That is quite fine, we can go separately," she tried, though it seemed that Circe was determined to be persistent. “There is no need to go together, I do not believe that the Justice League knows we are here."

But Circe did not see it like that, clearly, shrugging and saying something about how it would be more convenient to stick together. She had a point, to be fair to her, though Superwoman couldn't just come out and say how embarrassed she was by her poop! It would have all been just fine if she had been able to use proper facilities, though Circe was already moving out of the building, having infiltrated, eyes roaming the outskirts.

The experimental facility seemed to be quiet that day, though there were a couple of armed guards roaming, though none that looked at all like they had any powers to speak of, which was something at least. They didn't need to be interrupted by people like that, no one who would call a halt to their plan, especially as the members of the Justice League that they were looking to take revenge on, as far as they were in the know of, were due to arrive at the base in a couple of hours. That was when they would strike, though they had time to set traps and prepare the area before they even arrived.

That left Superwoman not knowing what to say or do as she followed Circe away to a small, wooded area where there did not seem to be even any meagre patrols. Judging from the nocks and notches in the trees, however, it seemed to be used for some kind of fight training, some of them even stripped of their bark.

It was about as far from somewhere suitable as Circe was willing to go, though it seemed that, strangely, she was doing what she was doing with Superwoman in mind. Superwoman had a distinct impression that Circe would have gone completely where she felt was convenient, even if it was within the base itself. Her only concern, judging from her shrug and glances about, always watching the perimeter, was not being discovered. She was rather single-minded, it seemed, when it came to revenge. That, at least, was something that Superwoman could use to her advantage.

“Why didn't we just find a bathroom inside?" Superwoman grumbled. “That would have been easier, surely, than all this?"

Circe shrugged, clearly not understanding what the problem was. If she wasn't embarrassed about her own body's needs, to be fair, it would be a difficult thing for her to grasp without Superwoman explicitly spelling it out for her.

“It would require disabling more cameras and surveillance," she explained, though she tilted her head oddly, as if she was not quite understanding why Superwoman was asking a question like that, especially when they were on their self-imposed revenge mission. “The more I disable, the more attention is drawn to us. And if they are shattered or broken through force, they will certainly know that someone is here."

Superwoman sighed and shook her head, though pressed her lips together tightly.

“Of course, yes."

She had to act like it was all normal, even though a horrible kind of heat was creeping down her neck, blistering and crawling, prickling as she squatted. She put her back to Circe, though there was no real need to, for it was very normal for those with their powers, even though she had been so flustered with herself that she had not been able to insist that she was the one to use the bathroom inside. Somehow, missing the chance to use the convenient facilities (even if they had not known exactly where the nearest bathroom was anyway) made her even more humiliated by what she had to do than normal. Tugging her black pants to the side, pulling them down only enough to expose her backside to do the deed, she tried her best to forget about what she was doing.

And yet her excrement would come either way, her stomach pressing down urgently, contracting, feeling the push within her rectum. Grunt by grunt, they had to come out, the first of the large poops dropping to the ground. The slide of that one had been quick, though it helped that the thirteen-inch bowel movement was softer, plopping down, followed by a long, hard log that turned out to be at least sixteen inches. She winced when that one came out, though it was more embarrassing for her to drop another large, fifteen-inch poop when Circe, at the very least, had the long, floor-length dress to cover herself up. She did not have to expose herself in the slightest to do her business, looking entirely unconcerned by the whole ordeal!

But that was for Circe to deal with, not Superwoman, sighing as she bore down to excrete another fourteen-inch bowel movement, glancing down quickly to check they were okay, though she didn't really want to look. It was all so gross, so embarrassing, she didn't want to think about things like that. From her brief look, however, she could tell that her poop was healthy, even if she could probably stand to drink more water, not just fuelling her powers and her body with extra food and sustenance. It was merely something to bear in mind from the firmness of them, how they appeared to be just a little drier than usual. Thankfully for Superwoman, nothing was too much for her, pushing out another and another, up to her fifth and sixth long bowel movements, the poops splatting on top of a surprisingly neat pile for her. When it was something that she very much did not want to do, she felt that the least she could do about it was to be efficient.

Circe finished first, Superwoman trying not to pay too much attention to her as she headed back right to the edge of the forested area to identify which building the Justice League were going to hold their meeting in. She crouched, drawing a map of the base, now that they had infiltrated, on the ground with magic.

Superwoman had to swallow a grunt – hell, that was embarrassing! She shouldn't be making sounds when going to the bathroom, but sometimes little ones like that just tried to slip out and it didn't feel, even then, like there was anything she could do about it. But if she focused, she was sure she could get it all done as quickly as possible.

The last poop was the hardest of all to get out, over sixteen inches, long and thick, the resulting waste of all the food she had eaten to keep her powers full and strong. That was not to be helped, not really, but that didn't make it any more comfortable for her in the slightest. Not as she bore down, squeezing it out with all the muscle she had in her body, pressing down, though it was not always as easy as she would have liked to be accurate in those endeavours. It came out slowly, healthy and firm, a medium colour, followed by a smaller plop of poop that was just a round shape, concluding her final bowel movement.

Finally! She exhaled an obvious sigh of relief, standing and re-dressing herself, comfortable again. It had been needed, to be fair, even though she had not wanted to be out there relieving herself.

Without thinking, she glanced over – though what she saw of Circe's excretion shocked even her. For the witch had left one, very long, poop that looked like a piece of rope, coiling up into itself several times in a perfect circle! It was not all an even shape, however, some parts thicker than others, which could have been where she was squeezing to push it out, even if that was very much not any kind of question that superwoman was going to ask of her.

She couldn't even guess at the length that it formed, not coiled up like a rope as it was, but it was a normal colour, at least, which was about the only normal thing that Superwoman could have honestly said about Circe's waste. She shouldn't have spent so much time looking at the other woman's waste, but, really, who wouldn't have had so many questions about something as weird as that?

Alas, it was not something that she had ever seen in her life before and it was not something that she was going to have an answer to either, whether it was Circe's diet or her magic or something else entirely that had made it like that. Whereas Superwoman had finished with nine poops in total on the ground, the bowel movements relieving the tightness in her guts, Circe clearly had more going on than her and she wasn't going to press that issue.

It was too embarrassing to talk about, after all.

Heading over to join Circe, Superwoman put all thoughts of what she had seen behind her.

It wasn't worth considering any longer, not when they had the Justice League to best. And they would not be thwarted that time, not as their plan, bit by bit, came together, traps put in place…

Their poop, of course, would be left in the forest. Once it had been excreted, neither cared one bit about what they left behind them, whether it hindered someone else or merely remained there, naturally becoming a part of the landscape. It was not their concern anymore.

It never was.

Vignette Eight

Batman and Catwoman

---

Batman stood tall, patrolling Gotham's streets, though in a seedier part of the city danger could have lurked around any corner. He was not concerned, of course, dressed in his bat cape and form-fitting armour and battle clothing, but it was part of his role in the city to ensure that he sent evil packing whenever it was found. That was, undoubtedly, if he was not entirely successful in locking up any perpetrators in Gotham prison for the criminally insane.

He took a breath, slowing his pulse, concentrating. Everything in him had to be focused, everything had to be locked into the moment, not thinking about home, not even thinking about what he was going to do next, where he was going to go. Nothing at all could break his concentration, not like that, not when he was in the zone.

He paced down an alleyway and, to be fair, he was not entirely unsurprised to see Catwoman in her typical all-black catsuit get-up leaping from the wall. She hooked her whip to spring to the top, scaling the sheer walls of the buildings as easily as if she really was a cat, and he sighed, following her closely, using grappling hooks to follow. Out of all the many tools that Batman kept on his person, after all, all had their uses at certain times. There was, even then, only so much he could carry, however.

Although he was not following her because he suspected nefarious means. She could have been up to no good, that was true, but there had been an erroneous report of late where he had become confused between two and a ruse, reporting her for a robbery that she had not committed. And, with how she was, it would not do to go without an apology when Catwoman, to be fair, had not done anything wrong.

Up on the rooftop, he looked around for her, scanning the dark for the agile woman.

Ah, there she was – ahead of him, already on another roof. She moved so quickly that it was impressive, though he was sure she would never be converted, not in any way, to the side of good. It was just how she was.

But he could not come up on her too quickly, for he neither wanted to scare her off or attract attention by shouting her name. He had to exercise more tact than that and a little suave diplomacy, considering the error that he had made too.

She crouched down ahead of him, beside a raised building on top of the roof, which probably held a generator, though that was not any of Batman's interest at that moment. The best way to get up close was to use stealth, though she probably would not appreciate any of it and that was something that he was just going to have to deal with. Hopefully, the apology would at least go down well, for that was not something that Batman at all wanted sitting on his conscience for any longer than necessary.

When she crouched, he did the same, on the same roof as her, though he crept up close, tucking the bat grappling hook back into his belt, cape flapping lightly behind him. His mask was in place, though he thought that she must have seen something, which was why she was crouching, even though he could not see what she saw.

Peering over the top of the small building on top of the roof, he looked down at the flat roof – and reeled from what he saw.

For Catwoman was right there in front of him, discreetly put to the side but not from his viewpoint there, all out in the open, her pants pulled down, clearly defecating! His jaw dropped, though Batman was quick to clamp it shut again, even though that would not do him much good at all.

What was she doing? And why was she doing that? Someone with as much money as him, of course, could not fathom not being able to access a suitable toilet in time, though he did have the Batmobile and multiple facilities around the city. Still, had she been so careless that she had been caught short out in public in the middle of the night like that?

He didn't know why he was watching, though he did so anyway, though he was slightly confused as to why there was a black bag on the ground. At least she wasn't pooping straight onto the roof, though her bowel movements were much larger, even then, than Batman had expected, the smallest of which was seven inches long. He didn't want to think back on just how he knew that, though he had come across Poison Ivy, once, in a compromising position too…

Just what was with him and finding those in Gotham City, after all, defecating?

He could have left then, but he wanted to apologise, not looking at her skin while horrified by the number of bowel movements. Long and dark in colour, though that could have been the cover of night that made it so he was not quite sure what he was looking at there, they looked like she had been eating well, first one and then two and then a third dropping from her behind. They were not all seven inches, however, which would have been bad enough, going all the way up to ten and eleven inches as Catwoman shuddered and evidently worked on another.

“Unff…"

He didn't think he was meant to hear that noise, but it could not be helped. He was in it then and he was sure that, if he moved too quickly, Catwoman would hear him. Stuck for anything else to do in the moment, all Batman could do was hunker down and hope that Catwoman did not look back and see him, though the dark of his clothing would help him blend in, at least a little bit. She did have the eyes of a cat, however…

He could not imagine leaving that large bowel movements himself, however, shuddering and watching in fascinated horror as she pushed out another one, seemingly very efficient at what she was doing. Well, it was something that someone had to do every day – but why was she doing it up on a roof?

He still didn't want her to be embarrassed by him for being caught going to the bathroom somewhere so public, though he didn't understand. Maybe that was something that he didn't have to understand as several small rounder plops of poop dropped down, falling quickly so that he couldn't count them as they landed in the already rather large pile. Maybe eight? That seemed like a lot all on its own, joining the pile of poop in the bag, though the edges of the bag were low, allowing him to see how the pile of poop rose above it, shocking big and neatly piled.

Just like a cat…

Ugh. That was not a comparison that he should have made! He thought again whether he could get back away from her, though it didn't seem possible, not as one more bowel movement was squeezed out into the bag.

He gulped. Nine inches. What was that woman eating? Still, Batman had no idea how it was going into the bag, why it was going into the bag. Did that mean that she was just cleaning up after herself? He didn't know whether that was better or worse than anything else seen so far, though, frankly, he didn't know what to think about the whole thing.

Hot under his outfit, he shook his head, hunkering down and pretending that he was not there, still watching as she dropped what he thought was a sixth and seventh poop into the bag. They took their time in coming out of her, a slow push that seemed to stretch out the seconds of humiliation, though the humiliation, in that instance, was all Batman's. After all, Catwoman didn't know he was there.

He tried to look away and, frankly, mostly did, for he wanted to preserve her dignity, but, well, it was like that time he had been stuck in the plant life in Poison Ivy's greenhouse, horrified by what she was doing and revolted too – and completely unable to look away. Maybe it was a more common phenomenon than what he was used to.

He sighed, glancing out only to check whether she was done or not, though it seemed to be taking much longer than it should have been. What was up with that? His frustration got the better of him, taking another look, trying to wait her out, but there just seemed to be no end, not as the pile of waste grew larger and larger.

A smaller, softer drop of poop proclaimed the eighth, though it was the ninth bowel movement that proved to be the last as it dropped into the bag with a solid, soft thump and a sigh of relief from Catwoman. He kept his eyes averted, only glancing down at the bag, never at her backside. That would have been very crude of him, though he was very much regretting following her in the first place. Yet all that had taken place shocked him, the size and number of poops making him shake his head in amazed disgust. Not even one had been under seven inches, though the later ones had been up around ten and eleven inches. Of course, that had only been seen as they dropped, though he hid and crouched, trying to forget what he saw even then.

“Ah… Much better."

She wriggled her hips a little and shifted as if a kind of pressure had been relieved from her, though that was something that Batman could only guess at. Hiding behind the chimney, he peered over a few moments later, finding Catwoman fully dressed once more and closing the bag.

That was better. That meant that he could now go see what was going on there and, more importantly, make his apology. For that was the only thing that he had followed her to do.

Standing tall, he made his way down from the roof in a series of bounds, Catwoman closing the bag and tying it securely. Some part of Batman, even though he was not all that sure still what he was seeing, was glad of that. He couldn't fathom seeing her poops spilt out from it across the roof, a joint humiliation that they would surely burn up from.

“Hello, Selina."

He paused, allowing Catwoman to turn around, one hip pushed out, the bag hefted up in her hand. Only then did he note that it was a black bag. Without night vision goggles, he had not been able to see what exactly the bag was in all that much detail, though, honestly, his attention had been elsewhere, rather shocked.

He cleared his throat, trying again when she did not say anything, an eyebrow of hers raised.

“Interesting seeing you here this time of night."

She smiled then, allowing the moment to soften. Just a little, but it took the edge off the tension between them.

“Hello, Bruce. I cannot say I expected it either."

He sighed. There wasn't going to be much conversation between them, but, frankly, he didn't expect that, not considering their recent history.

“I came here to say, I'm sorry," he said, eyes dropping to the black bag in her hand once more. “I'm sorry about the mix-up with the robbery. It shouldn't have happened. I've made it right with GCPD, of course, and your name has been taken off the wanted list."

Her eyebrow raised higher, if that was even possible.

“Well, well, well, so you did come through then," she said, though there was appreciation in her gaze. “Thank you, Batman. I must say, I am glad to hear that you fixed your mistake."

He smiled, nodding at the bag. Though the words that came from his mouth next were born from mischief.

“I do hope there's nothing illegal in that bag though."

Catwoman's smile curved up at the corner, though his heart hammered. Why had he said that? Of course, it wasn't anything illegal, for he was not about to report her, not in any way, for any public indecency. No, he had far more serious crimes to go after. And who knew whether Catwoman would stay on the straight and narrow or whether he would have good reason to report her for another crime in due course?

“Oh, no," she said lightly, only understanding that he suspected her of stealing something that night. “No, it's nothing illegal, I can assure you of that. Nothing for you to worry about."

Well, he wasn't going to insist on looking in the bag, as he very much already knew what was in it, what was weighing it down. He sighed, shaking his head.

“That's all I came to say, in that case."

She smiled, stepping back, putting space between them once more.

“See you around then, Bruce – it's time for me to have a catnap, it's getting late!"

She purred, slinking in close – all on her own turns – to run her claws over his mask for a moment, the prick of their sharpness making him shiver. Although Batman hoped that she did not notice, he knew that that too was very much a futile hope.

And then she was gone, a cat in full flight mode, leaping off the edge of the roof with her whip in her other hand. The last thing he saw of her was the whip lashing out, hooking to the next roof, swinging away as easily as anyone might ever have liked.

Well, not quite the last thing, for there was something else in her hand. For it was not only the single black bag she had, strapped to her hip by that point. As she swung, so did they, the heavy black bags pulling off her balance slightly.

Batman pressed his lips together. Well, perhaps he had been right the first time about the robbery. A cat did not change – not one like her, after all. Yet he considered all to be square and settled between them, nothing to concern him at all there.

Since he had caught her, already, in a far less than ideal situation, literally with her pants down, he thought that, perhaps, that was one that he could let go. It didn't matter, surely, for she was little more than a thief and there were far greater criminals in Gotham City for him to focus his attention.

Still, in the end, it was not up to Batman to decide who to take in or not, upholding the law and being a vigilante of justice in the only way that he knew how.

He turned away, letting what he considered to be her little midnight robbery go unreported. Regardless of it being against his morals, it would not end badly. And he had the rest of Gotham City to check out, for who knew what had gone down while he had been otherwise distracted.

Never knowing what was in that second bag of hers surely wouldn't keep Batman up at night.

Would it?