FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Humanity; Lost – Chapter One -

© Cederwyn Whitefurr

20th January, 2024

All Rights Reserved.

Embark on a journey of wild transformation, love, and survival, when human emotions collide with instincts...

Deep inside the bustling college campus, the weight of his self-doubt and anxieties weighed heavily on Alex's shoulders, each assignment and expectation from his teachers adding to the almost intolerable burden. He sat in the cold confines of the lecture hall, surrounded by the low hum of whispered voices of fellow students. His mind, preoccupied with the upcoming chaos and stress of exams and deadlines, barely registered the professor's voice at the lectern.

As the lesson dragged on indeterminably, or so it felt, Alex felt a restlessness beginning to take over him. At first, he brushed it off – the strangeness persisted – then settled into a distinct unease within the pit of his stomach. Around him, the auditorium seemed to close in on him, its air-conditioned air was cool, but a fine sweat spread over him. His eyes blinked, then squinted, as it felt like someone had turned up the ambient lighting to an almost painful degree.

Gathering his books and slapping his laptop closed, Alex shuddered and gathered his things, slipping out as quietly as he could. He needed a distraction, anything, to momentarily escape the merciless grip that his academic stress was bringing. Even in the halls, as students and teachers spoke in hushed tones – Alex moaned and awkwardly, held his palms to his ears. It felt like they were almost shouting.

He juggled his possessions, quickly moving down the hallway, where he slipped into the bathroom and unceremoniously dropped his things on the counter before he gripped the basin as a sickening retching struck like a summer storm. Nothing but thick, ropy strands of saliva spattered the basin, as he shuddered and coughed helplessly.

For several moments, he panted and coughed, before he ran the faucet and splashed his face with the cold water, before cupping his hands beneath it and rinsing his mouth out.

"What's gotten into me - " Alex pondered aloud, looking up into the full-length mirror, then pulling both eyelids down, gazing at the reflection in confusion. "I can't afford to get sick, not now..."

His words trailed off as he felt an itch on his stomach, an itch that intensified and almost made him want to sink his short nails into it and tear the living flesh off. Starting with vigorous movements, which through his shirt, didn't seem to help – he slid his hands beneath it...before his eyes went wide and he froze in shock...

Expecting to feel hot, clammy skin... his fingers touched something that he knew shouldn't be there...

Is that...

Snatching his shirt up, his eyes wide and disbelieving as he stared at his reflection...

Alex's mind reeled and he staggered backward, crashing against a cubicle door, before it slapped open and he fell heavily back onto the toilet seat.

"No, no, no!" Alex shrieked before he shook his head wildly. "No, it's... it's not..."

Look again... His mind demanded.

Shaking like he was stricken with hypothermia, Alex pressed his hands against the walls of the stall, then staggered out, his disheveled shirt hanging loosely. As he approached the mirrors once again, lifting his shirt up and staring – still unable to process what his mind was seeing...

Beneath his hand, instead of angry, raw skin which he'd scratched at – was now a greyish-white fur. As he lifted his shirt higher, he noticed something completely unexpected... it was spreading...

*

Slamming the door of his apartment wide open, a sound reminiscent of a summer clap of thunder, Alex stumbled inside, the door swinging shut behind him. His laptop and satchel crashed to the floor as his breath turned into ragged panting. Fear surged through him, the unfolding changes that were unnatural, continuing to claim him.

Ripping at his shirt, he fought to free himself from the fabric, letting the tattered remnants fall where they may on the floor. That itch, now an all-encompassing burning over his entire body, crawled up his chest with no sign of abating. It was unbearable – like a full-body sunburn, spreading down his shoulders and towards his arms. Even his fingertips darkened, as the transformation crept its relentless way through his body.

"No, no, no!" Alex gasped, the fur spreading down his groin and thighs.

It seized him in a merciless, uncaring grasp, it was an unstoppable tide surging through every cell of his body. His desperate attempts to escape were futile. His body ached and began to twist and even bones felt like they'd become softer – pliable – like his skeleton was being shaped and molded by some insane artist...

Into what...

It waged its invasive campaign, surging up his throat and down his back like wildfire. It grew, radiating down his arms, the fingertips darkening and turning into slightly curved black, sharp claws.

"No!" Alex gurgled, as he crumpled to the ground, his legs no longer able to support him, feeling the merciless change reaching its peak – or so he prayed.

Its march continued, and he felt the change within his groin – his slacks tearing apart as his body shifted and morphed into something distinctively in-human.

His claws scratched and clawed at the carpet, and his thighs were sheeted in a greyish-brown fur, the muscles powerful. As Alex gasped and writhed, caught in the pain that suffused him, a pain pulsed at his tailbone, heralding the birth of a thick, heavy tail that pushed its way across the carpet.

His ears stretched and elongated, achieving a tubular appearance with black tips. His hearing intensified to an inhuman level, even the droplets from the leaky tap in the small kitchen pounded like a base drum in his ears.

He gasped and whimpered as he felt his facial bones forcibly redefining themselves. They formed a short, furred muzzle, adorned with long whiskers.

His eyes watered, forcing him to blink, and he realized now, that he had a much wider field of view, yet the apartment colors adopted more muted hues.

His feet, the last bastion of his stolen humanity – were the last to turn. They extended into a new appearance. His toes formed into three, the middle elongating and curving like the claws on his fingertips. A split claw on the smallest toe, the others being slightly longer and their claws not as long as the middle one.

At last, Alex desperately clawing at the carpet as the final throes of his metamorphosis eased, he whimpered and sobbed helplessly. His body, drenched in sweat, carried the unmistakable pungent scent of fear to his new nostrils.

He curled up and clutched at his ears, as his phone began a strident warble – shrieking in agony as the ringing continued, until mercifully, his answering machine beeped and answered.

"Alex?" Come a feminine voice. "It's Becky..."

Becky... Alex mentally struggled through the soul-crushing residual pain, before his eyes widened and his muzzle fell open in horror.

"Alex? Honey? I heard you weren't feeling well – you bailed from your lecture, I'm coming over, I'm concerned about you, my love... I'll be..."

No, no... she can't...she can not see... me like...like this!

Alexander tried to scream – but to his horror, all his ears heard were the clicks and grunts of a kangaroo... Yet, in his mind, he'd mentally spoken the words...

Clutching his muzzle, Alex's fear grew exponentially, before he clawed at his throat until he gasped and choked. Panicked, he began with clumsy paws, dragging himself towards the bathroom – the closest place he knew he could hide...

*

In the bathroom, Alex's mind raced, the urgency of the situation pressing down on his furred shoulders. He realized quickly, he needed to lock the bathroom door before Becky arrived – this thought spurring him into action. Instinctively, without his conscious thought, he twisted his body around and splayed his paws on the floor, pushing up and dragging his long hind legs and tail with him.

With a series of awkward attempts, he soon struggled to his feet, finding himself weak and panting, on all fours, his muscular tail on the floor behind him. When he swallowed and let his mind stop trying to command his body, he felt a surprising feeling – he couldn't grasp it, but instincts guided him on how to stand upright, despite his mind screaming it was unnatural. The tail proved essential, acting as a counterbalance and providing extra support.

Come on, come on – Alex moaned, in a series of clicks and grunts, his kangaroo vocalizations an unintended consequence of his new and alien, physiology. He wobbled, then tumbled sideways, slamming hard against the shower door with a painful thud. Again, he forced himself to calm down as the kangaroo instincts aided him once more and moved him towards the closed bathroom door.

Here, he felt frustration, as he discovered the leathery pads on his palms and fingers, weren't anywhere as dexterous as those of his humanity. Frustrated, he fumbled and even resorted to lunging at the door, until he sat back on his feet and tail, forcing himself to think rationally. His new appendages required a completely different method and after numerous tries – he finally managed to turn the knob far enough to disengage the door.

Using his claws, he gripped at the edges, pulling backward, until it swung open and let him out. As he crawled out into the hallway, using his front paws like feet, his sensitive ears twitched at the subtle sounds. Footsteps above him, the muffled voices, even the traffic out on the road – now assaulted his heightened hearing. Grunting in distress, he managed a few tentative hops, his body still weak – before he made it to the front door.

Clawing at his laptop, he fumbled with it, ending up wrapping his slender arms around it and holding it close to his furred chest. Looking around, he placed it as best he could on a dining room chair, then looked at his satchel. With significant effort, he managed to lift up the shoulder strap and eased his head under it. Even though it dragged between his paws, he moved into the living room and dropped it beside the sofa.

Returning to the bathroom, Alex leaned back against the door, almost slamming it in his desperation to hide from his girlfriend. The soft click of shoes outside the hallway intensified his panic.

She's got a key to my apartment – Alex thought, his panic rising exponentially.

His kangaroo ears twitched as he listened to Becky's footsteps approaching – startled at how sharper his hearing was. Should he attempt to speak? Could he even speak? Or should he remain silent... hoping she would assume he had left his apartment – maybe – to go acquire some medication? Or some other reason?

As the door to his apartment opened, Alex clenched his paws, the nails digging into the leathery pads. He grit his teeth and quietly whimpered as the front door creaked open.

“Alex?" Becky's voice called out, her voice filled with her love and concern for him. “Where are you? Are you okay?"

Alex, his heart was beating like a hammer against his furred chest, as his muzzle opened and closed, in time with his frenetic panting. With a muffled cough, he shuddered and leaned hard against the door, his thick tail awkwardly and painfully, between his hind legs, the feet and claws pointing at the ceiling.

“B..." Alex croaked, then blinked and rubbed his throat. “Becky..."

His words were barely legible – to him, he sounded normal before he shuddered and coughed again, putting more power into his voice.

“Becky...I'm - “ He prayed his voice was clear enough. “I'm really..."

With a marsupial cough, he shuddered, then touched his throat again with his paw pads.

“You... okay in there?"

Distract her – his mind wailed in its own panic.

“I'm...really sick honey – please... I think it... best..."

He felt the doorknob turn and he shivered, leaning harder against the door.

“I don't know - “ He raised his vocalizations higher. “what it is – so please... just... don't want you to get..."

A few anxious moments passed, before her voice, filled with concern, came through the door. “No... no, you're right – I got my exams in a few days and I'm already - “

His heart breaking, he knew it was for the best – he had no other recourse – he had to make her leave.

“Please..." Alex coughed loudly, making his already sore throat worse. “I love you – but I can't risk you..."

More silence hung heavy and pregnant between them, before he winced, his nostrils slightly flaring as he caught the scent from her under the door.

Becky leaned against the door, and Alex's heart leaped into his muzzle. He heard and felt her closeness – an inch or two of thin wood separating the two lovers.

A mixture of fear and curiosity overwhelmed her as she began to turn the doorknob...

Alex's eyes widened as he lifted his head up, watching the inexorably turning knob...

Just before the latch would have clicked and retracted, suddenly, it spun back the other way, the door reengaging. Alex swallowed nervously, feeling the coldness of his fear surging.

“No...perhaps - “ Come Becky's quiet voice, tinged with suspicion. “No...you're right..."

Without another word, her footsteps retreated, followed by the slam of the door that nearly sent Alex shrieking in pain.

What have I done... Alex quietly wept, dropping his head into his paws, the tears trickling down his forearms.

*

His apartment stood in disarray, a testament to Alex's struggles with his newfound form. Frustration etched his kangaroo muzzle as he crawled amongst the rotting scraps of food – his hunger and thirst compelling him. Furniture was askew or even knocked over – and his body was weak, his stomach feeling tense and knotted within him. He'd emptied the cupboards of anything edible – and been forced like a dog, to drink from the toilet, to slake his thirst.

The fridge loomed, an impregnable fortress barring him from the substance he knew was inside. Despite repeated and increasingly weaker attempts, lacking the dexterity of human fingers, he'd scratched and clawed at the door – unable to open it.

His gaze returned to the mess around him, as he sniffled and clumsily pushed it aside – empty cereal boxes and even a few three-quarter-eaten potatoes, now soft and inedible, revealed themselves to him.

Without warning, the phone began to ring, and once more he clutched at his ears, crying and sobbing in both pain and suffering until the answering machine picked up – and gave him a chance at salvation...

“Alexander – it's your mother - “ Come a strident voice. “I haven't heard from you in days, I'm picking up some food for dinner tonight, I know how you college students are – now, I won't hear a word of it..."

His eyes widened, as he crawled towards the phone, his claws clicking and fumbling at it, before he cried out in anger and frustration – just as he managed to slip it off the cradle, she hung up – the sound of an empty dial tone heard...

*

He lay on the lounge room floor, weak and trembling, as he heard her footsteps, then the rattling of keys at his door. At last, she opened it, the door reluctantly giving, before her startled gasp rang out. It was a mixture of shock and disbelief at the disarray before her. It wasn't just a mess; it was the unsettling energy and the distinctive scent of something far worse...

“Alex?" She called out, her voice filled with fear and worry.

Striding across the refuse, she looked around, shaking her head, before she rounded the short hallway.

In the dimly lit living room, the figure of her son, huddled in exhaustion, barely able to lift his furred chin off the carpet. As her eyes adjusted to the gloom, her eyes grew wide as she saw the thing that lay before her.

“Alex...what... why is there a - “ she stammered, her confusion washing away any rational thought.

His response was a weak lifting of a paw before it fell back down onto the carpet as he whimpered piteously.

“Oh my god..." she moaned, a hand instinctively moving to cover her mouth, as she approached, seemingly unable to process the surreal scene.

As she drew closer, her maternal instinct went into overdrive. Confusion was swept away, leading to concern, her eyes narrowing as she ran over, then knelt down and slipped her hands under his forearms, pulling him backward so he lay with his head in her lap, him on his back.

“You...you're a..."

Alexander, his throat parched and weak, could only tremble and lift his eyes up, gazing up at her through long eyelashes.

Her eyes grew wide again, before she shuddered, taking his clammy paws in her hands and holding him tight. “It is you... I can... see it in your eyes... Oh, my son... what... no..."

He twitched and opened his muzzle, trying to speak, but all that happened was a weak grunt.

Carefully, she moved awkwardly, tenderly laying him down, before she rose and looked about before she ran to the kitchen. Alex couldn't decipher what she was doing until she returned quickly with a large steel bowl from which water slopped and splashed over the sides. Returning to his side, she set the bowl down, gently lifting his upper body up and then holding the bowl to his muzzle.

To him, the water was a lifeline – she dribbled a little into his muzzle, then tilted his head back carefully, letting it trickle down his parched throat, providing a momentary relief to his distress. Each sip brought renewed comfort, a small respite from the overwhelming thirst.

“Easy," she gently murmured, watching as he lifted his paws up, placing them on her forearms. “Drink slowly -"

He looked up through his eyelashes again, grateful for her presence and the life-giving water she was providing him.

“It... it happened - “ she gasped, once more returning to her startled and confused nature. “I – I never imagined... You're – not alone in this, my son -"

Her words hung in the air, a promise of support in his most desperate hour...

*

Carefully, she fed him water, then began bringing out vegetables, intending to make a stew with them for their shared dinner, but given the circumstances – and his new appearance – caution was warranted. Holding the carrot out, she watched as he took small, tentative nibbles, his furred jaws working as he chewed, then swallowed it.

“A kangaroo - “ she sighed softly. “I feared this day would come – your father - “

He stopped, mid-chew, to look up at her, his ears swishing back and eyes going wide.

“No, you don't remember him – he left shortly after... after I found out I was pregnant..." She trailed off, her gaze distant as she revisited painful memories. It hung heavy between them, a moment in time, between mother and son, before she shuddered and stroked his left forearm tenderly. He twitched, sniffing lightly, and scenting her – his instincts filling him with the sensations of sadness and pain.

“No... no more of that - “ she admonished herself. “Eat, but not too much, or you'll... can a kangaroo even -"

He blinked twice, then shivered and nodded as he understood – not intending to find out if a kangaroo could throw up...

“It is resolved - “ She spoke firmly and with the conviction in her voice that he knew would brook no arguments from him. “You can't - “

Looking around, she shook her head. “Stay here, you'll come home with me – no... that won't work, remember your grandmother's old farmstead?"

He looked up at her before he gave a weak cough and opened his muzzle, but his sore throat denied him the ability to speak, so he nodded twice.

“I'll take you there, now, it's late, so... there shouldn't be anyone that'll see us – are you... can you walk... I mean...well, hopping would be too loud and probably..."

Once again, drawing on his instincts, fuelled by a meager amount of food and five times as much water, Alex climbed to his feet, and then stood, wobbling. Quickly, she grabbed him by the forearms, helping him brace himself. He looked around anxiously, before shaking his long-eared head and making guttural grunts and growls. Frustrated, he looked about, before he crawled away and approached the coffee table, gazing pensively at a picture...

A picture taken last summer, of himself, arm around his girlfriend, Becky, the two of them looking happy and joyous – staring at the camera. Clumsily, he pawed at the picture, his vision blurring as tears began to trickle down his muzzle, as he wondered – if he'd truly lost the one he loved...

As Alex stood on his shaky legs, the weight of his emotions spilling over brought tears to her own eyes. His mother watched with a mixture of sorrow and empathy, her heart aching for her son. She witnessed the grief that consumed him, a silent spectator who watched him grapple with the remnants of his humanity and the instincts of his newly acquired kangaroo form.

Seeing him paw at the picture of him and Becky, a deep empathy welled up within her. She approached, making enough noise so his ears swept backward, alerting him subconsciously, to her presence, then rested a hand gently on his furred back, feeling the tremors that echoed with his inner turmoil. A heavy silence fell, broken only by Alex's mournful grunts and growls.

“My son," she whispered soothingly, placing an arm over his shoulders and lightly hugging him, offering him solace and compassion with her touch.

That love captured in the summer photograph, felt like a distant memory to Alex now, a connection to a life he felt taken from him forever.

As fresh tears stung his brown eyes, his mother leaned down, pressing her chin against his head. Though he wanted to speak – his voice betrayed him, yet the silent understanding between them spoke more than words ever would. She shared his grief, offering a comforting presence amidst his suffering and uncertainty.

“Do you want me to bring it with us?"

Her voice, soft, quiet and comforting, made him sniffle and wipe at his nose with his forearms. He trembled, before he tapped it with his claws, letting it fall face first on the table, before he hung his head and then turned about, grasping her by the neck with his paws, burying his muzzle against her breasts as he began to sob heart-brokenly...

TO BE CONTINUED...