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>I, am a proud nobleman from the honored house Vagron on a vital mission from King Madison the seventh himself

>Currently me and my small entourage are traveling to the far off kingdom of Paulia to deliver a package of utmost importance to their ruling family

>What exactly is in the small parchment covered package is a mystery to me, but if my king wanted to keep its contents secret then it must be very important!

>Maybe it’s a major trade agreement, or a declaration of war, or a warning of an impending attack!

>Whatever it is I MUST get it to its destination and bring glory to my house in the process!

>But after many hundreds of miles of rough terrain, a few thwarted bandit attempts, and many cold autumn nights spent under the stars my """entourage""" is now just me, a recently hired boar guard, and a couple of very tired horses

>While the carriage I left the kingdom with has held up quite well I can't say the same about the manpower the king assigned to me

>The royal scribe, aged no older than sixteen, got homesick a mere week into the journey and bought passage home with some of my gold

>Gold that was not taken with my consent

>Our driver, the idiot, tried cheating at a game of cards while our group was resting at an inn and was promptly run out of town by a swarm of angry drunken townspeople

>Ever since then I’ve taken over the job of driving the carriage along winding dirt paths and empty dirt fields, turns out it's a fairly easy job

>But my four guards, those drunken potbellied incompetents that can barely swing a dagger without cutting themselves much less a sword, found the company of a few beast women to be superior while staying at a local village and promptly went absent without leave

>Those gutless bastards, they were disobeying a direct order from the king to protect me!

>A direct order from the highest law of the land!

>Guess the kings word doesn't carry the same weight when he's half a world away and the surrounding women are warm and welcoming

>Speaking of women, the part of the world I’m currently in is almost entirely populated by beast folk

>Bear people, fox people, cow people, goat people, rabbit people, they come in all shapes and sizes around these parts

>The occasional beast folk showed up at home but they were typically seen as a curiosity, many have seen them but few have claimed to be close to one

>Probably because they stank or something, no matter their place in the social hierarchy they always looked mangy and unkempt to my eyes

>And they drank a lot too

>And sang too loudly

>And they rarely used cutlery like civilized people when they ate, instead electing to use their own teeth and claws to gorge themselves

>And there were even rumors of their women folk having…strange anatomy

>The exact level of strangeness depends on who you ask

>Freakish little mongrels

>And to think my guards fell for such beasts!

>The memory of those boneless cowards brings my blood to a boil

>Which is good since the cold wind hitting my face is doing a mighty fine job of slowly turning my body into a block of ice

>Staring past my breath misting in the air I see the usual sights of this land

>A setting orange sun almost hidden by tall sturdy trees, shadows across the ground cast by their wide branches bearing large yellow leaves, forest to the left, forest to the right, a plain dirt road in front

>And stomping just a few paces behind the carriage is the bodyguard I hired soon after my own guards left me high and dry

>A big beast of a woman she is, despite being covered in crude metal plates and worn leather I can tell she’s one of the boar folk

>A sow to be specific, her form clearly female based on the size of her hips and mounds of flesh hanging from her chest

>In her left hand she carries a weighty spiked mace and though I have no record of her combat experience I know she’s at least got the muscle to use it

>Her head is entirely encased in a metal helmet with a ribbed visor in the front for vision

>It’s benn shaped to accommodate a muzzle and two of her tusks poke up from the tip of it

>She’s got the stance and body of a fighting beast, in another time she may have sparred in a gladiatorial arena

>Two trunkish legs ending in untrimmed hoofs, a padded midsection and short tail ending in a tuft of black fuzz, light brown fur covered everything that wasn’t hidden by armor

>To my relief she’s not much of a talker, after a short exchange in a tavern she agreed to guard the carriage to the next town over for a very affordable sum

>A very affordable sum I didn’t have, this hellish journey has exhausted both my meager personal funds and the gold the king gave me

>But no matter, it should be easy to trick the beast and make off before she demands payment

>After all, my duty to the king trumps everything else, I MUST make this delivery no matter the cost

>If some random stinking half feral boar woman has to go without wages for a week of work then so be it!

>The night grows darker as we trudge on, the air growing colder and darkness creeping into the edges of my vision as the sun retreats behind the horizon

>This area is known to be quite dangerous, thieves and bandits being the chief threats to unprepared travelers

>Yet the steady drum of hoofbeats behind the carriage keep my nerves from fraying

>Sure, I barely knew the beastly woman or quality of her martial skills but I have confidence in her usefulness in a scrap courtesy of her sheer muscle mass and hefty weapon

>The downside being that she may turn those muscles against me when she learned I have no way to pay her

>But that can wait for later, with the sun now below the trees it’s time to look for a secluded spot to set up camp, eat, and sleep

>Speaking of eating did I remember to stock up on biscuits before we left town this morning?

>I didn’t!

>Damnit, what provision are even-

>A sudden flicker of flame off in the distance catches my eye and the horses stop

>Looking my rear the sow saw the same thing, her muzzle pointed in its direction while she slowly walks up to the front of the carriage

>”Hey, uhhh…” Shit, what was her name again? “…Hellen, what is that over there? Bandits?”

>”It’s Helga.” She flatly corrects me, sniffing the air with her flat nose. “There’s a foul smell on the air. They are bandits, half a dozen in number.”

>”Ya that’s what I said. Now why don’t you go over there and do your thing. Beat them over the head with that weapon of yours and I’ll graciously let you keep any loot. And you can do whatever you want with the bodies as well.”

>She slowly turns her head to me, a curious but cautious tone in her voice

>”And what would I do with half a dozen rotting corpses?”

>”I thought you beast folk ate the dead. Some kind of tradition or something. Where I come from we call it cannibalism but while I’m traveling in your lands I will honor your local customs. I am nothing if not an understanding nobleman.”

>The disbelief in her voice is palpable

>”No. No we don’t do that. Why the-“ She looks down and shakes her head. “We burn the dead then bury the bones. We do not eat them.”

>I clear my throat and straighten my coat

>”Oh, must have been a different breed of beast folk that did that then. Now go off and silence those malcontents before they draw closer. I won’t be paying you good shining gold if all you do is stand around. Advance!”

>”Very well.” She replies with a tired sigh. “But as my charge you must get in the carriage first, just in case a loose arrow should find its way to your heart.”

>I stand up and point an angry finger at her

>”I, am a proud member of house Vagron and I am above cowering in a carriage while a battle rages about me. Instead I shall direct my forces from an elevated position, such as atop this carriage, and lead my noble house to victory. And as my sole soldier I order you to advance! Advance Hellen you robust sow!”

>”It’s Helg-“

>She’s cut off as two arrows fly from the darkness

>One impacts her pauldron and deflects to the ground

>The other manages to miss my head by mere inches

>With a poorly suppressed girlish scream I begin scrambling down from the drivers position

>”Uhh, yes, very well, I shall take a temporary rest in the carriage while you carry out my orders.”

>I crawl into the interior and Helga shuts the door behind me with a loud thud

>With the privacy curtain closed the interior is dark pitch black and I fear peering outside should one of their archers see my face and let loose another arrow

>After a few short moments of silence I hear the sounds of battle

>A loud scream suddenly cut off with a meaty crack

>A confused yelling of warnings, orders, and pleas to a higher power from several foreign voices

>Several bone cracking blows, a loud boarish growl, and finally the sound of feet sprinting way

>The outside now deadly silent, I cautiously open the carriage door to see me bodyguard standing before me, laying on the ground behind her are a couple fur covered bodies

>I briefly glance at their still forms before turning my attention back to Helga, my stomach already in knots

>The head of her mace is covered in a dripping red substance, as are several plates of her armor

>Her breath comes out in loud misty clouds, breathing labored and slow

>”You are victorious! I shall ensure a plaque is made in celebration of this victory! I shall put it above the fireplace in my family manor.”

>”Thanks…” She replies with a distinct lack of sincerity. “Two of the bandits were slain before the others scattered for the forest. We are safe, for now. I suggest we move somewhere further up the road before making camp. They may return and in greater number.”

>”An excellent idea! Let me just light a few torches on the carriage so we can continue our journey to somewhere safer then we’ll be off!”

>I quickly light a torch mounted to each corner of the carriage providing a small aura of light around us and climb up into the drivers seat

>Yet Helga remains just below me, she isn’t retaking her position to the rear of the carriage

>”Helga, what is the bother? If you must rest then don’t even think of stepping into the carriage until you’ve washed that blood off.”

>She places the head of mace on the ground by her feet, both hands resting on the top of its handle

>”I request a portion of my payment to be made immediately. For services rendered thus far.”

>”That was never part of the deal sow! You will receive your payment in full when we reach the next town.”

>”And if you were to become incapacitated on the journey? Or sick? Or otherwise unable to pay me? This mace and armor require upkeep you know. Oil to keep them from rusting, replacement straps and fasteners, my expenses are not cheap.”

>”I care not for what you must do to keep your toys in working order sow. Now retake your position so we may be off.”

>She pauses, then steps closer

>”I need to know you’re good for your money. Fifty percent. Right now.”

>I gasp

>”You wouldn’t dare make demands of me. I shall pay you when our destination is reached and not a moment sooner!”

>She gives me a heated look them stomps towards the rear of the carriage

>But not to retake her position, no, she’s going right for the locked chest mounted to the rear of the carriage!”

>”Sow! Sow get away from there! Sow!” I impotently yell, the beast woman quickly using the handle of her mace to pry off the lock and peer inside

>I jump down and scramble to stop her but it’s too late

>”There’s…nothing in here! No gold! No silver! Not even a ring or necklace! Nothing but a couple rusty daggers and a moldy little box covered in parchment!” She yells. “You were never going to pay me! You lying no good bastard!”

>I slowly back away from the angry sow, my ruse having ended

>”N-now Hellen-“

>”Helga!” She angrily corrects you

>”Helga! Please! I was going to get money when we went to town you have to believe me! I have friends there! Rich friends!”

>”You have no such friends.” She correctly states, drawing closer to me with each step. “You were going to let me guard you until we reached the next town then leave me penniless. You…you…you devious flatfaced, thin boned, unfurred, lying, shivering little bastard! I ought to cut you down where you stand!”

>”Now-now please. Just have a little mercy within that cold heart of yours. I meant you no harm, really. Just-“

>As she walks past one of the torches on the carriage I notice something odd about the red substance covering her body

>It’s congealed, but blood doesn’t turn jelly like that quickly, it’s almost like…

>On a desperate hunch I suddenly reach out and run my finger across one of her stained armor plates, licking my scarlet covered finger as she looks on bewildered

>I smack my lips a couple times as my palate identifies the taste of the liquid

>No metallic taste like blood

>It’s acidic, but also slightly sweet, with a kind of hollow aftertaste

>With the liquid identified I point an accusatory finger at her

>”This is not blood from a slain enemy! This is watered down tomato paste! You didn’t defend me from anything!”

>”I…uhhh…” She glances downward and takes a hesitant step backward

>”Those ‘bandits’ were your friends, weren’t they?! You go out pledging to protect someone, stage an attack, then demand part of your payment before running off with half the promised reward! You flat nosed scroundrel!”

>”Helga you idiot!” Yells one of the ‘dead’ bandits as he gets up, a wild haired coyote with a muzzle covered in tomato paste. “You couldn’t even bother to pick a fool that actually had gold on them?! This hare brained scheme has been for nothing. You’ve done nothing but waste our time!”

>The other previously dead bandit gets up and punches him in the shoulder eliciting a yelp, this one appears to be a hare

>”How was I supposed to know he didn’t have any gold? He said he was a nobleman of some big house in the far East. Everything was going to plan.” She angrily yells back

>”Some house?” I simmer back, poking her shoulder to get her attention. “I am a nobleman of the illustrious house Vagron. We have a storied history going back centuries. We’ve had generals, heads of state, diplomats, dukes, knights, and many other important positions filled with proud Vagrons from within the kingdom. I am not from some house.”

>”Shut up and drop dead human.” She says with a beastly snarl. “Because of your unforeseen lack of valuables you’ve wasted our valuable time despite all the effort we put into staging the attack.”

>”Oh please, spare me your sob story. I feel no guilt over my little lie regarding your payment. As far as I'm concerned you can take your merry little band of flea ridden mongrels to whatever fetid hole you all slithered out of and leave me in peace. I still have important business to attend to.”

>She guffaws in my face

>”Oh no-no-no, we’ll be taking your horses and carriage and selling them for whatever gold we can so we don’t end this venture completely empty handed. I have a feeling it won’t be much though; your horses are sickly and the carriage is one strong gust of wind away from falling apart.”

>I stare daggers into her

>”That carriage is a family heirloom. It brought Sir Harland Vagron, my great -great-great-great grandfather, to the Kings castle after he snatched victory from the jaws of defeat during the battle of the viridian plains. It belongs to me and me alone!”

>”Not for much longer.” She says with a smile. “I think we’ll probably be able to get 100 gold coins for it, maybe 125 if we can find someone particularly stupid. Though-“

>She cuts herself off as she glances towards the carriage to see her two compatriots already mounted on the two horses in front of it

>”Hey! Where do you think you’re going so soon?”

>”We’re going back to town to find someone we can actually make some gold with.” Yells the coyote

>”Someone smarter, and who smells less of manure!” Adds the hare

>”Get off those horses at once or I’ll-”

>The coyote slaps the rear of his horse and it promptly begins galloping into the forest, he’s soon joined by the hare

>Helga gives a short chase but stops as their forms fade into the inky darkness

>”Fuck!” She exclaims with an angry stomp of a hoof

>I stifle a chuckle with a palm held to my mouth

>But my amusement fades as the boar slowly turns around with a vicious look in her eye

>She stomps to my position and throws her helmet to the ground

>”This is all your fault you sarding two bit, blue blooded, spoiled little shit! Born with a silver spoon in your mouth yet it’s clear as day you lack the mental capability to handle money, if you did then you would actually have some on you! What the fuck kind of nobleman travels around with not even a single silver piece on them huh? You lose it all in a game of chance? Spent it on whores? On drink? Now I have to trudge all the way back to town in the freezing cold, penniless and destitute! And I doubt the inn keeper will let me stay in another one of his rooms without paying again. I’ll have to sleep outside with the horses!”

>”Maybe outside with the other animals is where you belong you tusked…thieving…grifter! I’ve spent weeks traveling through the half built pig sties you beast folk dare to call towns and every time I want to puke due to the sight of your mangy mud covered bodies and smell of your putrid musk! I ought to-” I turn my head and sniff the air. “You uhh, smell something burning?”

>We turn our heads in unison towards the carriage

>A raging fire now engulfed the wooden vehicle, bright flames bellowing out of the interior with sparks and bits of burning cloth drifting into the air

>”NO-NO-NO-NO!” I shout and rush towards the fire

>With the entire carriage engulfed in fire my mind is only focused on one thing, getting the kings package so the delivery can still be made

>Braving the heat I step onto the raised rear portion of the carriage and search for the locked chest that held the precious package

>The locked chest that Helga had thankfully already pried the lock off of earlier today

>I quickly snatch the parchment covered package and sprint away from the fire, the edges of my coat already bearing small flames I put out with a few hard slaps

>Exhausted, I fall onto my butt and hold the package to my chest

>The boar comes closer and towers over me

>”What’s that?”

>”I'm supposed to deliver this package to the Paulian King. This task was assigned to me by my own king.”

>She cocks her head and sniffs the air with her wet flat nose

>”Give me that.” She orders

>”No.”

>”I said give it to me.”

>The boar reaches down and after a brief struggle succeeds in ripping the package from my grasp

>I stand up and shake a fist at her

>”Don’t you dare open it! Its contents are to remain a secret until it reaches its destination.”

>”I already know what’s in it.” She says, turning the box to sniff all sides of it.

>”Don’t even think of-“

>I'm cut off as she begins ripping the parchment off of the package revealing a small wooden box

>She opens the lid and stares at its contents

>Angry, but more curious as to what’s inside, I step beside her and peer down

>It’s…a dozen assorted chocolates covered by a small letter

>She takes the letter and raises it in front of her snout

>”Well? What does it say?”

>Helga pauses before hesitantly responding

>”I can’t read.”

>”Then give it to me!” I shout, snatching the paper from her hands

>I run over to the still burning carriage to gain enough light to read it

>My eyes furiously scan every line, every carefully chosen word, every curve of the kings handwriting

>The letter is…a thank you letter

>A message of thanks for attending the diplomatic feast the king held last year

>I can’t believe it

>In shock I drop to my knees, the cursed parchment held in a limp hand

>Helga casually saunters up to my side

>”So, what did it say?” I look up in time to see her pop a chocolate into mouth

>”Helga…”

>”Huh?”

>”Do those chocolates at least taste poisoned?”

>”Nope.” She happily replies, tossing another chocolate into her mouth

>”So this really is just a thank you letter. Not a declaration of war, or a vital warning, or anything important at all. Just a trivial meaningless letter and a box of sweets. All those months of travel…”

>Looking at the smoldering wreck that was once a prized family heirloom I stand up

>A fire fills my chest and a fury of dangerous angry thoughts enter my head

>”I’ve…been…betrayed!” I scream, throwing the letter onto the ground. “The king sent me on a 3 month journey for this! Three whole stinking months! In those three months I haven’t had a wink of good sleep, a warm shower, a nice meal, or the touch of a woman. My compatriots left me, my funds have run out, my horses are gone and my carriage is nothing but smoldering cinders! But the worst part of it…” I turn towards Helga holding a now empty box of chocolates. “…is that at the end of this whole cursed journey the only one I'm left with is a slop slurping, manure smelling, mud bathing, flea ridden, brood sow!”

>Consumed with rage I punch her in her armored belly

>My fist hits her metal plate with a dull thud and immediately my hand is engulfed in pain

>”Ow, fuck.” I mutter, shaking my hand

>Realizing the gravity of the situation I fearfully look up to her

>With eyes squinted in an angry glare she leans down

>”You did not just do that.” She snarls

>In an attempt to salvage the situation I put a pleading hand out

>”I would like to apologi-“

>I'm cut off as she punches me right in the jaw and I crumple to the ground

>With stars in my vision and pain flaring across my head the beast leers over me

>”You think you have it tough, human? I used to be respectable you know. I ran a good hustle keeping travelers safe on the roads. Dealing with their trivial bullshit, saving them from their own foolishness, protecting them from those that would rob, rape, and kill them and not necessarily in that order. My personal safety traded for a few measly pieces of gold, assuming they even bothered to pay me and not run off like you would have done. But you know what I realized?”

>”W-what?”

>”If people won’t respect the protection I offer, then I don’t see why I should respect their safety or their trust. So what if I fool them with a staged attack a few miles down the road and run off with half my payment the next morning? If that’s what I have to do to make a decent living then so be it!”

>”And what of those that placed their trust in you? What if they end up dead or worse after you abandon them?”

>She hefts her spiked mace up with both hands

>”If they valued their safety then maybe they should have put more than a measly twenty gold pieces into protecting it.”

>I gulp, twenty gold pieces is the exact amount I agreed to pay her back in the tavern

>With her mace above me and her eyes filled murderous intent I suddenly feel that I won’t be alive for much longer, might as well try to apologize

>”I'm an idiot Helga, I’ll admit it. It was wrong of me to treat you so poorly, and you clearly deserve much more than twenty gold pieces for your work. It’s just…I’m a nobleman, I am, but I'm also poor as shit Helga. I’m a fraud.”

>She cocks her head curiously

>”What? You said you had a manor back home. And how the hell could a nobleman be poor?”

>”My families manor is in disrepair, has been for years because we don’t have the money to repair it. My noble house really was great once, but that was many decades ago. A long series of poor decisions, social decay, misfortunes, and incompetence has led it to nothing but poverty and weakness. Hell, I say ‘we’ but in reality it’s just me. After mother and father died me and my brother were the only ones left with the Vagron title, and my brother is currently rotting away in a dungeon after disrespecting the king in a drunken rant. When the king assigned me the task of delivering that package I was enthralled! Finally a chance to earn some gold and bring honor back to my family name! Only now do I realize he probably did it as a joke. A way to get me killed so he could claim ownership of my land or some other ploy. I’m an idiot.”

>The beast stares at me for a few moments taking in what I said

>Then she lowers her mace, tossing it a few feet away

>”God, you’re pathetic.”

>”I know.” I say, raising my arms in exasperation

>After an awkward silence she finally takes a step closer

>”So, what now?” She asks

>”I don’t know…just do whatever you want with me.”

>”Whatever I want?”

>”Ya, sure, fine, whatever.” I answer, tired and defeated

>She raises a hand to her snout

>”So you say it’s been months since you’ve been with a woman?

>”Probably longer, what of it?”

>”Well, it’s been quite some time since I’ve had a good rutting. Not much time for romance on the road, and the company I keep I can barely tolerate much less spread my legs for.”

>My eyes grow wide at her words

>”Uhh, are you saying, that you want to…”

>She reaches across her shoulders and undoes a couple of fasteners causing her chestplate to fall to the ground before undoing several more gradually exposing her body to the chill autumn air

>When she stands stark naked I can only stare in shock at the bare body of the beast woman in the moonlight

>Two yellowed tusks sticking out from her muzzle, flat nose wet with moisture

>Two weighty breasts atop a paunchy belly and broad hips

>On her belly are six nipples laying flat against her skin and across her body were faded scars of varying sizes, signs of a hard life lived in combat

>Two strong legs ending in hooves

>And between her thighs is…a slightly longer than normal patch of fur hiding a feminine slit dripping with arousal

>Not nearly as bad as what anatomical quirks beast folk were rumored as having back in the homeland, thank the heavens

>Looking at her naked body a tightness builds in my pants

>Do I really find this boar woman attractive? Or have months spent without female companionship lowered my standards to a dangerous degree?

>Whatever the case she steps closer, bare chest bouncing, and places her hooves on either side of my chest

>”Today, has been a really bad day. I can think of nothing to improve my spirits more than to defile some haughty, spoiled, selfish, milk drinking, high born nobleman by making him mate with a, what was it? A slop slurping, manure smelling, mud bathing, flea ridden, brood sow?”

>She suddenly drops forward onto her knees, womanhood mere inches from my face

>”Eat me nobleman. Thrust your tongue into this sows innards and you’ll taste something sweeter than aged wine or fine caviar. Grind your freshly shaven face into my crotch and satisfy this hooved beasts desire.”

>She doesn’t give me a chance to respond as she drops onto me

>With a face covered in sopping wet fur I begin exploring her folds with my tongue and lips, greedily lapping at her cunt with vigor

>Helga grips my head with both hands, her hold on my scalp tightening and loosening as waves of pleasure rock her body, occasionally squealing in delight as I push past her folds and suck on her love button

>When she’s had her fill of my head between her legs she falls forward and rolls onto her back, legs spread wide and a saucy smirk on her muzzle

>I wipe her taste from my lips and get up on my knees

>”Oh? The beast wants a sword to fill her scabbard? Even one from a haughty, spoiled, selfish, milk drinking, high born nobleman?”

>She rapidly shakes her head in an affirmative and beckons me closer with a finger

>I leap on top of her, her sheer body heat warming my cold skin

>With great motivation I undo my pants and my cock springs free into the air

>The cold, uncomfortable air that was already wilting my hardy oak

>With a renewed vigor I find her slit among the fur and thrust into her welcoming entrance

>With hands on her love handles my pace quickens into a fast rhythm

>Partly because her folds were slick and pleasurable, partly because fucking her made me feel like getting back at her somehow, and partly because after the events of the last few months I a lot of stress built up and fucking this beast woman into the ground was an opportune way to let it all out

>I continue my assault against her womanhood and with each breach of the gates my pleasure grows more intense

>Helga is enjoying herself as well, looking up to me with a big grin on her face and tufts of mist blasting from her nose with each exhale

>When my body approaches its climax I consider how I want to end this

>Pull out and blow a load on her belly?

>Safe, simple, no strings attached

>Or cum inside?

>Inside would mean the possibility of piglets, with how the king felt towards beast folk I could never return to the homeland and expect to keep my title and land with her in tow

>I could simply run off tomorrow morning never to see her again, hoping that my bastards never find my address

>Or the third option, forsaking my land and title and-

>With my orgasm mere seconds away I feel two cold hooves press against my back, pushing me into her with each thrust

>Third option it is

>I quicken my pace and explode into her, balls tightening as I involuntarily buck into her pelvis, eyes shut in orgasmic bliss

>Hooves to my back I continue to thrust into her blowing load after load into her tight canal

>When my high fades I fall forward onto Helga, two heavy arms wrapping around my back

>We rest there for a few tender moments, her body keeping my own warm as our breaths slow and a cold quietness fills the air

>She turns to the side and I move with her

>”I’ll escort you back to town in the morning. If you just gave me piglets then expect a visit from me in the future. I know how these things go, and I will find you.” She threatens

>”I have a feeling you wouldn’t have to look far.”

>She gives a curious snort

>”Huh? The king would let you keep your all your privileges even with a few bastard furred children?”

>”No…but…fuck the king. Asshole never liked me anyways and it’s not like I have much waiting for me back home. I’ll stay with you, if you want.”

>Her grip on me grows tighter

>”Funny. The blue blood wants to stay with the mace wielding beast woman. I never knew I was such a seductress.”

>I chuckle

>”And by the way I take back what I said earlier, you don’t smell like manure. You could do with a bath though.”

>Helga loosens her grip to stare me in the eyes, her glistening tusks mere inches away from my face

>From the scowl on her face I fear she may make me regret saying that, then her expression softens

>”Actually we both do. Now I suggest you fall asleep before coming up with any more snide remarks.”

>I smile, and nuzzle into her soft bosom

>”Thanks.”

***********************************************************

>Several years later

>”And then what happened after your carriage caught fire?”

>”And then me and your mother got into an argument. I seem to recall her finally knocking some sense into me with a punch.”

>”And then what happened after mommy punched you?”

>I glance away from the little piglet sitting across from me, she’s far too young to be knowing about what actually happened after that

>”And then me and your mother decided we loved each other very much and went to sleep. The end.” I place a new piece of paper in front of her. “Now get back to practicing your letters. In a few years you’ll make an excellent scribe.”

>”Do I haaaave to?” She whines

>”Yes Hellen.” I firmly reply

>She grumbles a bit before picking up the feather and starting where she left off, looks like the letter G is next

>I look over her work for a bit before turning my eyes back up to the adorable little thing

>Little wet rounded nose, short tail with a small bushy tip, short light brown fur just like her mother

>No tusks though, from what Helga tells me it takes a few years for them to grow in

>She inherited my build and eyes, her shoulders and hips lacking the stockiness that Helga carried

>All the more reason I wanted to start her off as a scribe

>With my continued guidance the local lords should be chomping at the bit to employ someone with reading and writing skills as good as hers when she comes of age

>I look back down to her paper

>Fine work as always

>I smile and pat her on the head, getting up to check the soup currently cooking on our small fireplace

>After Hellen was born me and Helga bought a cottage close to a nearby town

>It’s not very large, maybe a tenth of the size of the family manor back in the homeland

>But unlike the family manor this one actually has a family living in it

>I stir the pot and savor the succulent aroma of roasting vegetables and tender meat

>Absolutely delicious, it should be ready to eat in-

>The door to the cottage creaks open and I look to see who it is

>Unsurprisingly it’s my big boary wife in a well-worn blacksmiths apron

>She became an apprentice not long after we bought the cottage and has been thriving in her role ever since

>It’s really no surprise given her strong arms and familiarity with arms and armor

>And me? I became a recordkeeper for several of the local shops

>Few can count gold as quickly as I can and good records keep their businesses out of the inquisitive gaze of the local lord when tax season comes along

>”How was today?” I ask her

>”More knives. Have a look at these, forgemaster said I could take them home.”

>She drops a few misshapen iron knives onto the table

>”No plate armor or longswords?”

>”No, he doesn’t trust me with the good steel yet, but I'm getting there. By the way, I saw this on the newsboard on the way home, thought you should see it.”

>She places a yellow piece of parchment on the table

>I give the title a quick read and move it in front of Hellen

>”Can you read this for me Hellen?”

>She drops her feather and looks at the parchment with a nervous stare

>”I-I-I’m not very good at reading yet. I don’t think I can-“

>I cut her off with a raised hand

>”Yes you can, if your mother could learn how to read then so can you. Just remember what I taught you about how all the letters work together. Sound them out if you have to.”

>Her eyes nervously dance between me and the paper before settling

>”Okay.” She quietly acquiesces, straightening the paper in front of her

>She clears her throat and begins with the title

>”Reb…ell…on”

>”Remember what sound an I,O, and N make when they’re all next to each other Hellen.” I remind her

>She shakes her head and retries

>”Reh…bell…yun. Rebellion!”

>”Good work baby.” Chimes in Helga

>”Thanks mom!” She replies before looking back to the paper. “Rebellion…in…the…East. Kuh…ing…Mad…ison…the…”

>She cocks her head looking at the strange looking numerals, I have yet to get to numbers with her

>”Those shapes mean the seventh. King Madison the Seventh.”

>”Madison the seventh…dep…osed. Deposed? What does that mean?”

>”It means removed from office. If it was due to a rebellion then he didn’t do it willingly.”

>”And who’s King Madison?” Asks the curious little piglet

>I chuckle, and respond

>”A disagreeable man who once ruled a far away kingdom. Thankfully he isn’t someone you’ll ever have to meet. And don’t feel bad about him losing his royal position, I’m sure he deserved it.”

>”That much power can make it easy to lose ones head.” Adds Helga, sitting down at the table with a bowl of steaming soup. “Go get your share little one, then it’ll be off to bed with you.”

>Hellen dashes out of her chair and runs off to the soup pot leaving me and Helga at the table

>”Speaking of your homeland, you ever regret losing your title and manor? Even if it was in disrepair you could have made some gold selling the land.”

>I shake my head

>”No, even if I returned successfully I doubt the king would have given me proper payment for my troubles. And that’s assuming he didn’t just declare me dead halfway into my journey and claim ownership over everything. My fate was sealed the second I left the castle. Besides, I like what we have here a lot better. Though our cottage is smaller than the manor, and my title as recordkeeper is not nearly as prestigious as nobleman, I don’t feel nearly as empty as I once did.”

>She snorts

>”I don’t feel empty anymore either. Got a husband, piglet, house, job. Honestly thought I was going to end dead on the side of the road a few times out there.” She takes a heaping spoonful of soup and slurps it down. “Delicious! I’ve got quite an appetite today. Almost like I’m…eating for two or something.”

>She stops eating to look up at me with a knowing gaze

>”Do you mean…”

>Before she can respond our little piglet runs up to the table and drops her bowl onto it, spilling almost half of it in the process

>”I’m getting a sibling? Can I name them?!” Hellen ecstatically asks

>We both look at her, then break into laughter