A Dull Dragon - 13
#13 of A Dull Dragon
Story and all characters (c) 2006-2007 Yancarlo Ramsey. Please do not redistribute without written permission.
This is a work of adult fiction. If you get caught reading it, don't blame me.
- 13 -
It didn't take long for Adrian to "clean his plate", as he described it. He quickly figured out how to use teeth and talons to tear neat strips of meat away and bite off manageable portions. His "table manners" were far better than most hatchlings, for which I was grateful. And even though he said that humans didn't find raw meat very palatable, he didn't seem too bothered by it. I asked why that was.
"Well, it's certainly a new experience," he replied, turning the slice of auroch beef he had speared on a claw this way and that, inspecting it idly. "But it doesn't taste bad, at least in this form. And these teeth certainly shred it easily enough, so the toughness isn't really a problem..."
He ran his tongue around his teeth and licked his lips, then popped the piece of meat into his mouth. Three chews between the staggered rows of sharp teeth at the back of his mouth reduced it into small chunks. "Being able to swallow pieces that would barely fit in my mouth if I was still human sized is useful, too," he added a moment later. "But I do see how you could find it difficult to say anything intelligible with food in your mouth!"
I snorted and watched him finish. I had already eaten a little of it just to demonstrate, although it was a welcome snack too, since it had been a couple days since my last meal. Finally, I showed him how to bundle the bones and hide into a relatively neat package that could be moved easily to a location farther away from the cave, to avoid attracting scavengers.
The sun was well below the horizon by that time, so we returned to his cave to get some sleep. He would need it to help his wing heal, I assumed, despite the magic he'd used... He wandered around inside it and poked thoughtfully at his usual sleeping place. The blankets were far too small for his new size, and most likely would be ripped to shreds by a dragon's weight, even if he managed to avoid getting his claws caught in them.
I pointed at the depression in the cave's floor, the one I'd slept in on many previous nights. "You should sleep there."
"No, it's alright. You're my guest, you can use it. I'm too small for it, anyway. I'll just curl up over here." He started carefully folding the blankets and dragging them aside.
"No... If anyone visits, your scent is the one they'll expect to find in there. And they're almost always bigger than their occupant, anyway. Plus you need to rest well so your wing will heal properly."
He frowned, but nodded when he realized I was right. "Very well. If there's anything you need..."
"... then I'll ask you where to find it, or get it myself," I finished, giving him a stern look. "You don't need to be straining yourself for me. Besides, I've slept in far less comfortable places than a flat floor. It won't do me any harm."
"Okay, okay," he replied meekly, and obediently slunk into the hollow. I curled up near where his blankets had been, and closed my eyes. I could hear him shuffling around, trying to find a comfortable position. It was his first time trying to sleep like this, so I wasn't too surprised. I must have fallen asleep quickly thereafter, since I don't remember how long it took for him to settle down.
~
The next morning, I awoke just as the sky was beginning to lighten. Adrian was still asleep, and had somehow managed to twist himself around onto his back, with his front legs poking up into the air and his wings splayed out to each side, over the rim of the depression and onto the flatter ground. As I stood up, I saw over his rear leg, and realized that even though he was now a dragon, the end of his penis was poking out, as it had often done before. I decided it must have something to do with his magic training, and ignored it, stepping out of the cave to stretch.
When Adrian awoke a short while later, I started teaching him how to spit fire. This is something that hatchlings are capable of straight from the shell. When faced with a threat, their instinctive hissing reaction generally creates a decent gout of flame, and that's usually enough to drive off all but the most desperate predators. But as with flight, using it more effectively takes practice. Sending a narrow stream a long distance can be very tricky, especially when flying or in high wind, and getting it to strike where you want it to is even harder. And creating a small, controlled flame can be almost as difficult, even if it doesn't look nearly as impressive.
Adrian's first attempts didn't result in any fire at all, which wasn't very surprising. He kept trying, but still with no success. Perplexed, I finally asked him, "Is your tongue in the way or something?"
He turned his head toward me and opened his mouth to reply. I rolled to the side, barely dodging the fireball that erupted from within and washed past me.
"Aaaah! Hot! Hot!" He reared back, pawing at his mouth, where tongues of fire were licking up around his teeth and lower lip.
"Close your mouth! Breathing out will just make it burn hotter." I cursed myself again for not giving him such tips before we began. At least this mistake would not cause him more than momentary discomfort. There would be no need for him to do another healing spell. Not that I had anything against healing magic, of course. Nothing at all.
He followed my instructions quickly, at least, and grunted as the flames went out. "Sorry about that," he mumbled carefully, looking sideways at me. "You alright?"
"I'm fine, you just startled me," I replied, picking myself up and looking at the ground beside me, where some of the moss on the rocks had shriveled and blackened.
"Good. I'm glad I didn't hurt you," he added, rubbing his nose against my neck. I drew back slightly, but tried to respond cheerfully before he could get confused.
"You wouldn't have, in any case. It takes more than a little fire to hurt a grown dragon! Getting it in my eyes would've stung, of course, but you don't need to worry so much. But you really shouldn't spit a whole mouthful like that, especially not at another person," I chided him gently.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was..." He looked quite abashed, and I took pity on him.
"I didn't, either, so don't apologize. I really must stop forgetting what you are." I chuckled and gave his neck a brief nuzzle, then stepped back. "Okay, now this time, if something goes wrong again, shut your mouth to cut off the air so the fire will go out, and carefully swallow or spit whatever's in your mouth onto the ground. Your saliva will neutralize it. Keep your tongue pulled back so the juice can spray out properly, and use a slow, steady exhalation..."
He managed a small flame right away, and after just a few more tries he was able to roast a patch of rocks over ten feet away.
"Wow, I did it! That's not so hard at all!" he enthused, his laugh still sounding odd coming from his new body.
"Very good! Now you just need to keep practicing, and eventually you'll be able to do things like this..." I narrowed my mouth and curled my lips just so, and blew a long, narrow jet of fire, arcing it out to a spot about fifty feet away before it spread out in a cone and finally dissipated just above the ground in a transient wreathe of flame that quickly vanished into a shimmer of lingering heat, soon dispersed by the breeze.
Adrian stared with widening eyes. "Now that is impressive," he respectfully replied.
I huffed softly. "Thanks, but I'm hardly an expert at that. I just... have a lot of free time."
"Well, I'm glad you found something interesting to do with it."
And, now that he mentioned it, so was I.
We spent another hour practicing. By that time Adrian was starting to have trouble, and we stopped to let his fire gland rest and refill. We talked for a good fraction of the day, laying side by side and discussing what to do when meeting other people - I mean dragons, of course - and when to finally take him home, show him the mountain, and show him to certain interested individuals. The most important would be Shalindra, and I ended up spending a fair amount of time just telling him more about her. I'd talked about her a little already, when he'd asked about my family, so this was more about filling in details.
"She sounds like a very nice person," he commented, after I finished telling a story from our childhood where Indra had helped me collect materials to make some decorations and furnishings for my lair when I first moved into it, even though she had her own new lair to furnish as well.
"She is," I replied, nodding wistfully. "If there was anyone that I could chance telling the whole truth to, it would be her, but..."
"You don't know how she would react?" Adrian said quietly.
I gave my head a sideways jerk for a no, and sighed as he brushed his cheek against my shoulder.
"Well, I'm sure after we meet, and she gets to know me, she won't be concerned about what I am..."
"I wish I shared your confidence. But even if you're right, there are some who won't care what anyone else thinks... If they find out you're human, they would be furious. Your life might be in danger..."
"My life has been in danger, one way or another, for many years now, Nuala. And yet, here I am." He stuck out his tongue and licked my face.
"Silly." I snorted in amusement and tried to turn away, to avoid more slobber, but he started nibbling on my neck just behind my jawbone. "Hey, stop that!"
"What for? You didn't want me to stop last time." When I raised my head up, he moved his attention lower, to the more sensitive underside of my neck.
I hadn't expected that, and was caught off-guard by the feelings it produced, and the recent memories it brought forth. It was hard to believe that simply touching one another - that anything short of mating - could feel like this. I knew I didn't want to mate with Adrian - I wasn't ready to be a parent, of course, but beyond that, he wasn't really a dragon, and I was afraid of what might happen if we did. But I'd enjoyed what we had done, very much... until I found out how he'd used it. I still wasn't sure how to tell him that, nor was I sure if I wanted to let him continue, or make him stop as I had claimed.
"What's wrong, Nuala?"
I realized he had indeed stopped, and was looking at me with concern. My anxiety must have shown.
"Please, tell me. Have I done something wrong?"
"No," I replied hastily, not wanting him to become more worried. "No, it's nothing."
"It doesn't seem like nothing, when it gives you so wretched an expression that even a human can tell."
I turned my head away from him and sighed. "It's not your fault. You need not be concerned."
He was silent for a moment. "Nualadorani... Please don't ask that. Something is bothering you, and that bothers me too, even if there is no blame to be given. I don't like seeing you distressed. I want to help. But how can I do that if I don't know what the problem is?" He shook his folded wings restlessly.
My front talons tightened, scraping against the stones. I glanced toward him, and looked away again, unable to meet his eyes. "It's stupid..." I finally answered, quietly. "It shouldn't be a problem at all."
"But apparently it is, no matter how minor it might seem?" he asked, prompting me to continue.
"It doesn't seem minor. It should be. It's not fair, not fair to you... I didn't want it to be a big deal."
"Sometimes it doesn't matter whether a thing is fair... only whether it hurts."
I thought about that, and unfortunately, it seemed to be true enough. At least in this case. "How'd you come up with that?" I wondered aloud. "It sounds like the sort of wisdom my father's mother's father always likes to convey to hatchlings who don't understand it yet."
"I've spent much of my life solving people's problems, Nuala... It doesn't always require magic."
I sighed and studied the ground, watching a little insect crawl over one rock and disappear under another. "I wish it hadn't," I muttered.
"Oh. That..." Adrian shifted in place, stretching out his wing partway, testing it carefully.
"Yes, that," I snapped, irritated that I'd been overheard. I hadn't meant to speak, or so I told myself. I looked at his wing and tried to control my voice. "I mean, I'm glad you could do something about it, especially since it was my fault you got hurt..."
"Stop." He extended his wing and draped it loosely over my back. I met his eyes with a frown, but he leaned toward me and spoke again before I could. "I want you to do something, Nuala. Don't question, just listen... Close your eyes and calm your breathing. Think back to that day. Remember how you felt when you found out I wasn't badly hurt. Remember how you felt when we started caressing each other. Remember how you felt when we were lying there together... Do you remember?"
I didn't understand what he was hoping to accomplish, but I tried to follow his instructions. I just nodded, dipping my head slightly, instead of speaking.
"Good. Hold that feeling in your mind for a moment. Now... remember what happened next. Remember how you felt. Hold that feeling in your mind. Think about it. Name it. Use as many names as you need, any words that seem appropriate. It doesn't have to be perfect, just use whatever works..."
I nodded again, but he gave me some time, leaving me to dwell on it, for what seemed like minutes... I was starting to wonder why he wasn't saying anything, when he did.
"Now imagine something different. Imagine you were the one who had been hurt. Everything else happened the same way, except instead of healing myself, I'm healing you. I know, it's a strange request." He must have noticed my perplexed expression. "You're hurt, and you don't know it yet, but I'm healing you, while we enjoy each other's touch... And then, you wonder why your wing doesn't hurt so much, and I tell you... How do you feel? What parts are the same? What parts are different?"
Again he gave me time to think. It was strange. What he had me imagining gave me a feeling that was very similar. I would be grateful for his help, of course, but I would still have been upset that he had used what we did to accomplish it without telling me what was happening.
"Now pretend that I've told you before anything happens that I can harness the energy from our enjoyment and use it to heal... either one of us, it doesn't really matter this time. In that case, if we went ahead with it... How would that be different? Is there anything about it that would be the same?"
To me, what we did hadn't been anything to do with magic, it was just... us, with no purpose other than enjoying the moment, enjoying being together. Trying to do that for some other reason... It would have been completely different. It would have ruined it. It had ruined it. I couldn't have done it if I'd known. Not the same way, at least. Not the way I had, losing myself in the moment...
"You understand what I mean," he said softly, apparently still watching my expression. I opened my eyes and looked at him.
"It was a big problem all along, and I shouldn't feel bad about that just because it helped with something I felt guilty about..." I was still unhappy, but at least now I had a better idea why.
He blinked a few times, and nodded slowly. "That's about right, yes. In general terms, it's not good to second-guess your own emotions." There was another of his odd human expressions, but I understood anyway.
"I'm sorry about hiding it... But..." I didn't see how any of this would help with the problem itself - the fact that I felt used.
"Understanding a problem is always the first step toward solving it. And until a few minutes ago, I didn't even know that I had hurt you. But now I think I know how." His wing settled about me, and he moved his front leg, wrapping his talons around mine. I looked down at them, curling mine slightly in response. It wasn't a gesture I was familiar with, but I thought I liked it. "Have you done anything like that before?"
"Something... like what we did yesterday?" He nodded, and I shook my head. "No. Not like that. Just a little nuzzling sometimes, with Shalindra or someone else close... She likes to put her wing over me like this, too..."
Adrian sighed. "I should have realized. It sounds like your people find physical intimacy as significant as mine do, and in similar ways... And like an idiot, I messed with something that should have been special." He gently squeezed my talons, and fixed his eyes on mine. "Nuala, all I can say is that I had no intention of doing any magic when we started, and it was only when I kept getting distracted by twinges from my shoulder that I thought to do something to alleviate the problem... I didn't want to stop, because I was enjoying it too much, and you seemed to be as well. And I didn't think to ask permission, nor did I realize that what I did would hurt you. If I had known that it would..."
"Stop." I butted my nose softly against his mouth. He fell silent, and I looked back into his eyes for a while longer. There was nothing about him that seemed the slightest bit disingenuous - his sincerity was almost painful to listen to. I sighed and crossed my neck over his, bringing my head around to his other side, and rubbed my cheek against his. "I forgive you, Adrian. No need to be as longwinded as an elder."
He pressed against me, perhaps not sure what to say, or just not wishing to speak. Either way it wasn't a bad choice. I did the same, and moved my body closer to his. He rolled partway onto his side, so that his healing wing wouldn't be lifted up at an uncomfortable angle to reach over my taller back. Tucked against each other like that, I wasn't surprised when he started rubbing his head under my chin. This time I didn't complain.
It wasn't like yesterday's joyful innocence. This time we were comforting each other. Reassuring ourselves that we were still... whatever we were. In love, that was certain, though I still wasn't sure just what that meant to me. But that was all that could have accounted for my feelings that day, and the one before... and the ones after. I had forgiven him, and I meant it. His apology had loosened the grip of that fear, and it no longer pained me. But naturally it would take some time for it to pass from my thoughts entirely.