Immorality - ...Like sandpaper

Story by Nile the Buizel on SoFurry

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#6 of Immorality


Damn, I've put this off far too long. Oh well It's done now ^^ and quite amazingly with NO emo, BS ranting. (I know right? It's like WTF?)

M/F, non-anthro, pokémon x human yiff contained within, you know the drill. No reading if you're under the legal age for wherever you live. Or if you're offended by this kind of thing... In which case you really should have read the tags better anyways... Basically what I'm saying is: I'm not to blame if this fucks you up in the head k?

Hope you enjoy this one, and sorry for the time it took. I do have excuses, but let's ignore them and just put it down to pure procrastination. Oh and the yiff is quite far in... Almost at the end, so if you're here just for that you'll be skipping allot of this. :3

Here we go again.


...Like sandpaper

Alba scanned the surrounding area wearily. He had been waiting for almost two hours now and he was getting extremely bored, especially since he didn't dare let Kaylen out. He still felt a little weak after that stunt Ross had pulled in the battle, and he didn't trust Kaylen not to take advantage of that weakness.

He let out a long yawn as he waited. Spotting movement nearby, he stood up, removing his paw from its position atop Kaylen's pokéball as he did. Settling back down after a while, with a sigh, as he identified the commotion as a pair of Linoone playing in the undergrowth.

'Why did she ask me to bring you anyway?' he asked the pokéball silently. 'Is she gonna hold me down and watch while you pound the seven shades outta me? Nah... that's not her style, she knows me too well. I'll bet she's gonna try to seduce me into a threesome and then, bang! Dark pulse to the face!'

He left a gap as if expecting the inert pokéball to hear and respond to his thoughts. "...You know, you're not a very good conversationalist." he laughed, partly at his own joke, and partly at the fact that he was talking to himself.

'...Okay, maybe being pummeled would be better than just sitting here. Who knows when she's going to turn up?'

His question was promptly answered by the graceless crashing of Jay's appearance from the surrounding bushes. He was followed by Elice, who made him seem clumsy and oafish by comparison, by making a point of skipping over twigs and the larger pieces of detritus.

Alba regarded the new arrivals with narrowed eyes, attempting to comprehend her angle. 'Now Jay's here too? Where's she going with this?'

"Well hi there stranger!" the Totodile said, sounding a little over the top even for Jay, Alba noted. There was definitely something up. "Don't I get a hello? I've been missing that pretty face for almost a whole day now."

"Uhh... Yeah, hi, sorry. My mind's on other things."

"Where's Kaylen?" Elice interrupted whatever Jay had been about to say, Alba only nodded towards the pokéball at his paws in response. "Why is he in his pokéball?"

"You said: "Find a way" ...I found one." Alba replied with an indifferent shrug.

"Kidnapping him wasn't really what I had in mind." she let out a sigh as she walked to Alba, simultaneously nuzzling him and using a paw to hit the pokéballs release button. A red beam shot from the pokéball and took form. Eventually solidifying to show Kaylen, in a battle-ready stance. As Kaylen noticed the lack of an opponent he did a quick one hundred and eighty degree spin on his heels to face the three other pokémon.

At first he seemed confused, as if he'd never seen them before, but as soon as his eyes came to rest on Alba he turned away, crossing his arms in a childish pout.

"Well that's a good start," remarked Jay, rolling his eyes at Elice. "maybe tomorrow we can get them to look at each other." he gave an exasperated sigh at Kaylen's stubbornness and Alba's disinterest. "Come on you two, kiss and make up."

"So that's what this is about? You had me trawl his pokéball all the way here to try and get me to apologize so that we can all be a big happy family again? How sweet of you," it was Alba's turn to roll his eyes at the Vulpix. "but I can apologize for myself thank you."

Jay only laughed, and Elice herself had to stifle a chuckle. "Alba, you're terrible at apologies. You always were, even back when I knew you as an Eevee. Remember when you tried to apologize to Deo for biting him so that he had to wear that weird cone thing on his neck?"

"He shouldn't have asked me if he didn't want to know... It did make him look like a lamp with werewolf syndrome."

"Yeah," Jay added, his laughing fit coming to an end. "and what about when you accidentally locked that Charmander in an old abandoned freezer, and then forgot about him? You're apology when you finally let him out the next day was priceless!"

"Oh come on! That "Chill out" line was too good to pass up, I'm sure he saw the funny side eventually."

"I'm sure," Jay began to laugh again. "then again, some people just have no sense of humor."

"Look," Elice cut Jay off. "the point is, your rap sheet when it comes to apologies isn't looking too hot, I think you might want to follow our advice."

Alba bridled at the suggestion that he could be less than great at anything. "To hell with you, I'll apologize in my own way."

Jay and Elice smirked at each other before turning back to the indignant Espeon. "Go on then..." Elice urged. "We'll observe your masterful apologizing skills from over here, out of the range of any stray water gun attacks."

"Yeah, laugh it up!" Alba turned away from the condescending pair, and towards the Buizel, who had stood still and silent throughout the exchange. He approached the stoic water-type slowly, not wishing to impose upon him any further than necessary.

"Kaylen?" The pokémon shot him an irritated glare, before snapping back to his original position, facing away from Alba. "Kaylen I realize that you hate me right now, and I don't expect forgiveness. I understand that what I did was stupid, arrogant and wrong."

From their position a few feet away, Elice and Jay sat judging the performance. "Surprisingly good so far. A little cliché maybe, but good" Elice commented.

"Oh yeah, what he lacks in sincerity, he makes up for tenfold in manipulation and acting ability."

"You don't buy it?"

"Buy it? I wouldn't even accept a free sample." Elice giggled at Jay's comment and settled back to watch the rest of the show.

"I realize that I need to take responsibility and that I've hurt you, and I'm really, really sorry." Alba forced himself not to smile; he'd show them an apology.

Kaylen turned on him, obviously having heard enough of his sycophantism. "Oh, you hear that? He's sorry! Alba, the self-serving little Wurmple, has realized that he did something wrong in his life! Well whoop-de-fuck! It's a freaking miracle! Tell me, just how did you come to this ground-breaking realization?"

Alba bowed his head in mock-shame. "I always knew, I just... I let myself get carried away... I swear to you, I'll make it right, I don't expect you to forgive me, but I do expect a chance at redemption."

Elice tilted her head and gave a small "Hmm" of thought. "Alba's not doing too badly, he's working an impossible angle, but you have to admit he's at least faking it rather convincingly."

"It's early days yet," Jay replied. "don't worry, he'll crash and burn soon enough."

"I dunno... He seems to be gliding along just fine for now."

Kaylen took a step towards Alba, making himself appear as threatening as possible. "And how, exactly, do you intend to do that?"

"I'll find a way. Even if it means immense physical pain and debasing humiliation."

This seemed to appease the Buizel somewhat, and a smile played across the pokémons features as he began to imagine something, undoubtedly how watching Alba go through pain and humiliation would feel.

"It seems like he's going to make a text book landing." Elice announced, sounding surprised.

"I just need to know one thing." Alba continued.

"Here it comes." Jay whispered in Elice's ear.

"Me, uhhh, kidnapping you and taking you here... everything that's happened recently... It doesn't... change your opinion of me, does it?"

The Buizel refocused on the Espeon. "Alba, before I found out about you and my sister I thought you were a self-centered, manipulative, inwardly focused, sociopathic, cowardly, emotionally retarded cumstain, on the tail-end of society... and I still do. So no, nothing has changed at all."

Alba blinked a couple of times, attempting to register the unexpected insult. "You seem surprised Alba."

"Well... Yeah... I mean, I thought that... before all the bullshit that went on. I thought we used to be friends."

"No, Alba. We were never friends. I've never liked you, I've tolerated you for my sister's sake, for some reason she really seems to like you. A long, long time ago I used to be friends with an Eevee called Alba, but he's been dead for years now."

"Losing altitude." Elice piped up.

"Come on, we always used to be the best of friends... We'd spend all day laughing together..."

"When?! Give me one example of a time when we laughed together, just one!" Alba attempted to think of any time they had in fact laughed together, but he couldn't remember anything of the sort.

"Going for an emergency landing." Elice murmured under her breath.

"Ah! Wait, no... Well uhmmm, what about..." the psychic type's tail flicked back and forth in irritation at being unable to recall any time when he and Kaylen had laughed with each other.

"What about that time you were trying to practice Rock climb, and your make-shift safety rope-thing broke and you fell all the way to the ground? We laughed then didn't we?"

Kaylen gave him a confused look. "I broke my leg in two places!"

"Yeah, but come on, it was hilarious, we laughed like a pair of mad Ludicolo."

"No, you laughed, I spent seven weeks in leg braces."

"That's right!" Alba was lost in his reverie now. "And you spent the rest of the summer walking around like a Hitmonlee with rickets!" His mirth could be contained no longer and he burst out laughing. "Oh, I laughed so hard, I swear to mew I nearly blacked out!"

"Nosedive." Elice commented. Jay simply slapped one paw across his eyes out of sheer embarrassment at the pathetic attempt at an apology.

Kaylen looked, quite understandably, unimpressed. "Another one for the rap sheet?" Jay asked.

"Definitely... He was doing so well... We should get someone to hit him every time he's going to say something stupid."

"I'll give you my secret stash of Pecha berries if I can do it." Jay pleaded.

Elice only laughed before looking back to the Buizel, who was clearly struggling to contain himself. "Come on, we'd better break this up, it might turn ugly." Jay nodded his agreement and placed himself between the two pokémon, pushing Kaylen away from Alba while Elice hushed the psychic type.


The Totodile returned after a couple of minutes spent talking Kaylen down. He shook his head at Alba with a grin on his face. "That was just, in-freaking-credible!"

"What? Wha'd I do? I thought that was going pretty well."

"Oh yea! That was real smooth... like sandpaper."

Elice sighed, interrupting the exchange. "Alba, you need help. Maybe it's just me, but I think you need some serious therapy. You seem to have this major psychological defect which blinds you to the fact that you annoy the hell out of everyone. How can you not sense that?"

"Well... I, uhh..."

She shook her head at him. "Never mind, come on, let's go and see if we can't sort things out between you and your friend." Alba lowered his head slightly in embarrassment and nodded his thanks before she turned and walked towards Kaylen, who was now tapping one foot in irritation.

"Kaylen?" Elice waited for an answer, when he made it clear that she was not going to receive one she continued. "I was hoping that we could talk about Alba for a little while... About why you hate him so much... Apart from the obvious."

"What would that accomplish? Other than just to make you hate him as much as I do?"

"Humor me... Please?"

The Buizel seemed to tense slightly at Elice's plea. He began to shift uncomfortably and looked away for a second before looking back to his foot paws with a sigh. "Fine... What do you want to know?"

"Well, for example, when did you first start to hate Alba? Can you remember what he did?"

"Remember it? I don't think I'll ever forget... But that's personal."

"So he humped you and dumped you?" Jay interrupted.

"I, what? No! What would make you even think that?" The Buizel shook his head, seeming overly flustered by the remark.

"Oh come on. This is Alba we're talking about. I'd be shocked if it wasn't to do with mating." Jay simply dismissed Kaylen's further protests with a flick of his paw and turned to Alba, who was looking into the distance, apparently distracted. "So how was he?"

Alba came back to earth slightly, and grinned as he picked up on the conversation. "I'm not usually one to kiss and tell. Besides, surely you should know."

"Yeah, but I wanted to know if anything had changed. If he'd improved then I might have to..." He trailed off as he noticed the glare they were receiving from both Kaylen and Elice. "...Keep, my mouth, shut... from now on..." He looked at his foot paws, guiltily. "Point taken."

Elice turned back to the, now furiously blushing Buizel. "Well, can you at least tell me when you first noticed the change in him? Whether or not you actually did... that."

Kaylen sighed, trying his hardest to ignore his embarrassment. "Well... I mean, he was always kind of driven, trying to achieve his goals no matter what, but he was nothing like he is now. He always used to go out of his way to help where he could. Ever since he evolved, though, it's like he's a completely different pokémon."

"Since he evolved?"

"Well... Maybe a little afterwards... A month or so? But the worst thing is that Ross doesn't even seem to notice the change, he's so forgiving and accepting of all the god-awful things Alba does and it's driving me crazy!"

"I understand Kaylen, but you have to remember that Ross has known Alba considerably longer than you. Sometimes it's hard to see past old friendships and see the facts, and other times it can be that the bond formed is so strong that it just can't be broken. The fact is that the relationship between Ross and Alba is unlikely to change, and you might as well accept that. No matter how much he likes you, he is going to take Alba's side most of the time."

Kaylen nodded slightly, crossing his arms as he listened to Elice.

Elice thought about her next question carefully. "Tell me about how he evolved; was there anything which could have caused this kind of change?" In truth she had been dying to ask this question, although not in the exact way she had worded it.

The Buizel looked between her and Alba, probably wondering what Alba's evolution had to do with anything. "Well... not really. I mean, maybe..." He took a deep breath as he recalled the events leading to Alba's Eeveelution. "See, it started the day you and Jade left..."


The afternoon sun was swelteringly hot, shining as it was, onto the Floaroma town flower beds through which a Vulpix and an Eevee tussled, each attempting to tackle the other to the ground. Further away, together under the shade of the trees, two Kirlia danced together in silence.

Kaylen observed the dancing pokémon for awhile, before turning his attention to the playing quadrupeds. Watching and listening to them, after all, was much better than listening to his sister whine. Kayla had taken her place beside him, and was currently attempting to bore him into a coma with her constant chatter about Ross.

"You know you can't win Alba... Give up now and I promise I won't slam you too hard." The Vulpix managed to wheeze out, between gasps for breath and fits of laughter.

"Yeah right! Catch me if you can slowpoke!" Alba laughed from within the maze of flowers. The young Vixen searched madly, but seemed unable to catch sight of the elusive Eevee.

"Oh come on! I thought we agreed using dig is against the rules!" She exclaimed from somewhere in the flowerbed.

"Ha! All's fair in love and warfare Elice!" Alba's voice now came from the other side of her.

"And which of those two does this count as?" Silence ensued the remark and Kaylen heard Elice giggle at the embarrassment she had likely imposed on the Eevee.

After a short while of silence, a startled Alba was sent hurtling out of the flower patch, followed closely by a pouncing _Vulpix, who pinned him gracefully with her paws, and slammed him to the ground. "Heh, told you I'd get you."

Underneath her Alba squirmed and writhed in a futile attempt to break free, before finally accepting defeat with a large exhale._

"You still haven't answered my question." Alba looked at her questioningly. "Was that love? 'Cuz if not it was pretty lame warfare." She giggled as the Eevee underneath her squirmed uncomfortably again, in a pathetic attempt to break free. "Aww what's wrong? Am I a little too close to the truth?"

"No! It's not that, it's just that I..." Elice cut him off by pressing her muzzle to his, silencing him instantly and causing him to tense up in shock. She pulled back shortly after, a long silence following the comparatively brief action.

"E-Elice? What in Mew's holy name was that?"

"I saw some humans doing it," she answered dismissively. "it looked like fun! I think it was called... kissing? Something like that anyway."

"Can we do it again?"

"Nu-uh, you hav'ta earn it." She nipped his ear with her teeth, causing him to let out a slight yelp as she leapt off of him and charged back into the flowerbed, quickly loosing herself in a challenge to Alba to come and find her.

"I just think that we should get him something, y'know? His birthday's coming up, and he always gets us something for ours." Kaylen's pseudo-sister continued, breaking his focus on the pair, as Alba rolled onto his front and disappeared in search of Elice.

Kaylen rolled his eyes, 'Man, she just won't shut up about him. If I didn't know better I'd be sure she loved him...' He turned to look at her, shaking the thought from his head as he realized she was waiting for a response. "Well... Yeah, but what do you honestly expect us to find for him? Do you think he'd enjoy eating raw Magikarp? 'Cuz that's about the best thing we could catch around here. I mean we can't exactly buy him something."

"Fine," she pouted. "it was just an idea."

Kaylen's attention was suddenly seized by the opening and closing of the poke mart door. Ross was tossing a pokéball in the air and catching it absently as he walked towards the pair of Buizel, closely followed by Jade.

"So, have you thought about what you'd like for your sixth pokémon?" Jade had been pestering Ross to get a sixth pokémon for a while now, but he had only recently broken and had headed into the Floaroma town market in order to pick up some new pokéballs. Kaylen wasn't all too fond of the female trainer, but Ross seemed to like her so he supposed he shouldn't judge.

"Not really." Ross admitted. "I was kinda thinking of getting another psychic. Know any psychic types that hang around here?"

"Well, there are some Abra... but they have a tendency to be a little skittish."

"Abra? Yeah that'd be pretty cool. I'll see if I can't catch one on the way to Eterna city."

They stopped only a few paces from where Kaylen sat and turned towards the flower patch. "Elice! Stop fooling around, we gotta go!" Jade called into the thick curtain of flowers. The dry rustle of petal on petal was heard as Elice and Alba emerged once again.

Ross turned to face Jade with a sigh. "So you're really going to Kanto?"

"Well, not immediately. First I'm heading to Oreburgh city for a week or so, to spend some time with my family before I go. Then I have to pick Jay up from the day care centre. After that, I'm gone. Are you sure I can't tempt you to come with me?"

"Sorry, but I really want to get as strong as I can be, and I think I can do that best here. Besides I already have two Sinnoh league gym badges, and I was kinda playing with the idea of starting the league challenge again."

"Well, then... I guess, we should probably say goodbye." Kaylen couldn't help but notice that she sounded more than a little hurt as she said it. Nevertheless she held out her arms to the side, offering a hug.

Ross ignored the gesture at first. "Well, maybe not. I was thinking of putting Kaylen and Alba into daycare for a day or so, maybe we'll meet up?"

"Do you think we can depend on a maybe to say our goodbyes? Give me a hug before you never see this pretty face again." It was a humorless joke. Neither of the humans laughed. Eventually Ross relented and embraced his long time friend for a while, earning a grumble from Kayla, who'd never kept her displeasure with the human female a secret.

Kaylen rolled his eyes again. "What are you complaining about? She's leaving now, whatever reasons you had for not wanting him and her together, they don't matter anymore."

"She's just not good enough for him, that's all." Kayla whined.

"Oh stop! You're making it sound like you're just jealous..." He trailed off as he saw the guilty blush on her face. "Holy Mew, mother of Arceus! You are in love with him! I was just joking, but you really are!"

Her blush only grew as her brother seemed intent on declaring it from the rooftops, and she began to wring one of her tails in her paws with embarrassment. "Keep it down, I don't want the whole world knowing." Kaylen's grin only grew as his sister became flustered.

He continued to tease her as Alba and Elice exchanged long goodbyes and the hug between Ross and Jade was finally broken. The Vulpix fell into line behind her trainer. Neither of them so much as looked back as they headed out of the small town, in the direction of Jubilife city.

Ross watched them go in silence, before turning back to his pokémon, and calling back his two Kirlia, who had stopped dancing to watch the exchange,. "Okay guys we gotta get going. It'll be five o'clock soon and I don't really want to be setting up camp 'till we at least reach Eterna forest.

The statement was met with a less than enthusiastic "Humph." from Alba. To which Ross gave an apologetic smile.

"Yeah, I'll miss them too, but we can't just leave."

"Why not?" the Eevee challenged. Ross either didn't understand, or didn't have a good answer because he remained silent as he returned his Kirlia to their balls, and started to walk away struggling with Kaylen's ball's over tightened strap. Kaylen and his sister followed Ross for awhile before he stopped and turned pokéball in hand.

He paused for a second and looked past the two Buizel. Kaylen followed his gaze to Alba, who was sitting in place, his muzzle turned up in defiance. Ross sighed, "Come on Alba, don't do this, it's hard enough without you being stubborn." The Eevee didn't respond, didn't even flinch. "Fine." the trainer removed a second pokéball from his belt, "Both of you, return!"

Kaylen felt light headed as the familiar beam of light from the pokéball took hold, his consciousness was reduced to a haze of black and unrecognizable, mumbled words. Time seemed to be of no consequence here, like a half-sleep.

When Kaylen was next released the sun had just started rising, and he could see the outline of Eterna forest in the distance, past the remains of what must have been Ross's campsite. Much more pressing, however, were the three Bibarel staring him down. He looked to either side of him, to his right Alba had been released also and was growling at the Bibarel threateningly. To his left Ross was down on one knee, holding Kayla back with one hand, while holding a tattered and bloodied jean leg with the other.

"Alba, tail whip. Kaylen, use water gun." Ross grunted through gritted teeth.

Kaylen prepared a weak attack. He knew that he could probably one-hit these relatively weak pokémon, but if Ross had wanted that he would have commanded a more powerful move, so he restrained himself. Releasing only a small jet of water at the disgruntled pokémon, who squealed in shock at the sudden assault.

The Bibarel to his right was attempting, and failing, to dodge a barrage of lashes from Alba's bushy tail, and the one to the left stood still, apparently completely feckless. The Bibarel being assaulted by Alba finally dropped to the ground, exhausted after dodging the fast moving Eevee. The one Kaylen had hit sat, trying to rub the stinging water out of its eyes with one paw, as the third seemed to finally to register the threat and turned to face them.

"Alba use shadow ball. Kaylen, keep hitting the blinded one with focus punch."

The pokémon followed the commands swiftly; Alba flicked his head as he fired the shadow ball at the new combatant to give it extra momentum, while Kaylen began to pummel his own target relentlessly.

The Bibarel struck by the shadow ball was thrown, yelping, into the air. It landed not far away in the long, unkempt patches of grass to the side of the path, where it apparently decided it had already had enough and retreated further into the dense vegetation.

The pokémon beneath Kaylen was using defense curl in order to ward off the punishing blows of his focus punch. It wasn't a very effective defense, and the Bibarel took the first chance it got to roll away from the Buizel, before uncurling and bolting away as fast as its short legs could carry its dumpy body.

Bibarel number three stood defiantly, having regained some of its stamina while Kaylen was battering the second one. Without its backup, however, it wasn't as willing to charge in headlong, and it watched Kaylen and Alba closely trying to anticipate which would attack first.

"Alba, scare it off with an iron tail."

Alba took a couple of bounding steps towards the larger pokémon before launching himself at it, his tail becoming heavier and more solid, while glowing a brilliant white. The Bibarel dodged the attack easily, even with its bulky frame, but the move had the desired effect and after a wary glance between each member of Ross's party, the Bibarel decided against continuing the attack and began to slink away slowly.

Ross cast some harsh expletives after the retreating pokémon. His voice was cut off suddenly, however, and Kaylen followed his stunned gaze to where Alba stood, except the white glow, rather than just enveloping his tail, now covered his whole body. The Eevee gave a cry which was impossible to discern as pain or elation, while his body began to morph and change.

Ross abandoned his place next to Kayla and rushed to Alba's side. Taking care not to touch his pokémon, for fear of interrupting the evolution. Kaylen turned away from the harsh light, shielding his eyes, just in time to see one of the Bibarel launch a retaliatory shadow ball back at Alba, before disappearing back into the undergrowth.

Kaylen had no time to think or react as he watched the dark attack careen into the stationary Eevee. A startled cry from Ross announced the attacks connection with the evolving pokémon. Kaylen watched as the strange black material of the shadow ball seemed to simply melt into the bright white glow and disappear.

Ross and Kaylen looked at each other and then back to Alba, as the light began to fade to a dim glow. The human simply stared at the Pokémon left behind by the receding glow. As the glow dissipated completely, a shiver ran down the length of the purple, cat-like Pokémon's spine. Kaylen and Ross both flinched away as the odd pokémon spoke without moving its muzzle.

"Whoa... Trippy!" The Espeon looked between his master and his friend. Neither of them said or did anything, neither of them even breathed. "What...? What?!"


"That's it?" Jay sounded extremely unimpressed by the tale Kaylen had been telling. "There isn't going to be any cool stuff? No evil masterminds plotting mutation experiments? Just some puny little Bibarel?"

"Look, I can tell the truth and tell you a boring story, or I can lie and tell you a cool story. Which would you prefer?"

"Easy, the cool lie. That way you wouldn't bore everyone to death, hun."

Elice silenced the Totodile with another glare. "That's hardly the point Jay." She had sat down as Kaylen had recounted Alba's evolution to her, she stood up now with a sigh. "Still, I can't really see anything in that tale which might account for his change. A shadow ball might hurt a little but I can't see it resulting in a major personality change."

She turned around to look at the Espeon, who was staring dispassionately into the distance. Apparently having found Kaylen's story-telling as boring as Jay had. "Maybe he has an idea as to why he became so insufferable."

Kaylen shook his head at the Vulpix. "Don't bother Elice, I've asked him why he does the things he does already, he just makes the same, smug comments every time."

"Maybe you just don't know how to ask him properly." Elice flashed Kaylen a knowing wink as she approached the vacant Espeon. "Albaaaa." She whined at him. The psychic type shook off whatever daydream had held him and focused on the vixen.

Elice let out a very obviously fake yawn and turned away from Alba again, making sure that he was watching her. "I'm getting really tired. Maybe you could help us out by just telling us why you started being such a royal prick to everyone?" She prostrated herself before him in a feline stretch, covering her shame with her tails, so as not to reveal too much, but making clear what she was trying to imply. "If you do we could find a secluded spot and... settle down together for the night."

She glanced back over her shoulder at Alba, to see what kind of effect her show was having on him. The amused half-smile on his face told her that it wasn't working as well as she had hoped.

"And you guys have the nerve to call me manipulative?" He shook his head at Elice and chuckled a little. "Fine, you want information? Well information is costly... How about a trade? I'll tell you what you want, and all I ask for in return, is a kiss."

"No way! You've been getting freebies all this time, well not anymore, not until you at least pass the third training stage I have in mind."

"Three? Before I even get a kiss? Damn, for a fire type you sure are frigid."

"Yeah? Well, for a psychic type you're in the dark about allot of things." the vixen countered. "Now tell us why you're such an ass."

"...Look," Alba took a deep breath, and exhaled at length before continuing. "It's just... something I'd rather not talk about, okay?"

"No! Not okay!" Kaylen sounded incredulous now. "I need to know how you can go from being one of my best friends to a cold, megalomaniac in the space of a month. I know, that after you evolved and I saw how... different you were to a normal Espeon, I wasn't as accepting as I could have been. But I worked around that, and then you go off and do something like..." He trailed off, not bothering to finish his sentence.

"Listen, this is one of those things that no one is ever supposed to know. Hell, I shouldn't even know. Understand me when I say: I don't want to tell you, and believe me when I say: You don't want to know, so just leave. It. Alone!"

"I'm sorry Alba, but I can't do that."

"Well then, to hell with this." The Espeon pushed past the Buizel, taking forceful strides out of the clearing, and away from the small group.

Kaylen let out an exasperated sigh and looked to Elice, begging for help. She only flicked her head in the direction Alba had stormed off in, the look in her eyes told him to follow the psychic type, and he complied without question, lowering himself to all fours, and bounding out of the clearing after Alba.


Kayla lifted a single, heavy eyelid. Staring into the impenetrable darkness of the room. She wondered briefly why she was so tired. 'I remember... helping Alba get my brothers pokéball, and then...' The memories of earlier came back in a flash and she jolted awake. She felt Ross's arm wrapped around her in a loose hug, she gulped. 'Did he see me...? Oh Mew! What must he think of me?'

Carefully, she lifted the arm from her body, pushing it off of her before standing up and turning to look at the peacefully sleeping human. She backed away awkwardly, almost stumbling off the edge of the bed in the blinding darkness, having to windmill with her arms to keep her balance. 'Jeeze you'd need to be a Zubat to make your way through this room.'

She took a couple of steps forward so as not to be so close to the edge, and looked back to her trainer, who had now rolled onto his back. She watched his chest rise and fall in the darkness for a while, in silence. 'Maybe he doesn't mind.' she reasoned. 'I mean he was hugging me after all.'

She groaned as the reason for her awakening became suddenly very clear to her sleep-deprived brain. The burning itch between her legs had returned already, yet it can't have been more than just a few hours since she had rid herself of it.

She couldn't relieve herself again, not while Ross was right there. 'I could go through to the bathroom I suppose.' she quickly dismissed the thought. Without the loud drone of the shower she risked waking him up anyway. She'd just have to find something to distract her.

A flash of skin caught her attention as Ross shifted in his sleep. One of his legs had emerged from beneath the sheets in an attempt to regulate body temperature. She wandered over to the exposed limb. Staring at the ancient scar that ran across his ankle.

A Bibarel had given Ross the scar when he had attempted to defend her from its Hyper fang attack. Kayla smiled slightly as she remembered the way he had limped for days afterwards. It had not been funny at the time, in fact she had been quite worried, and guilty that she had caused it by being a little too nosey in another pokémons territory. He had reassured her, however, that he was fine, and after a little while his gait had returned to normal, leaving only the scar as a reminder of the attack.

Her eyes traveled up from the scar along his exposed calf and to the part of the leg still covered by the duvet, eventually coming to rest on his crotch, where a quite obvious tent had formed underneath the thin material. Kayla blushed furiously. 'Good job distracting yourself.' she mentally scolded her own stupidity. She managed to rip her eyes away with a little willpower, and turned away so that she wouldn't be tempted.

'He's sleeping, he'd never have to know... Unless you wanted him to.'

She winced as the evil thought poisoned her mind. "It wouldn't be right; I'd only risk hurting what we have." She whispered aloud. Trying to enforce her thoughts by vocalizing them. "Besides, how would I explain it if he woke up?"

'You saw how Alba got when you did this, you won't need to explain it, males don't seem to be too good at saying no when it's presented to them. Don't you think?'

Kayla tried her best to ignore the thoughts, but her heat, combined with what she had seen in the shower, had her turning again to look at Ross. Her will breaking.

She began to wring her paws as she continued to disregard the evil thoughts she was having. Before long, however, her curiosity got the better of her, and with a whimpering groan, she walked to the corner of the duvet and grasped it between her paws. With a sharp tug the sheet was yanked down exposing Ross's chest. Another tug exposed his naval. Kayla thanked all the legendary pokémon she could think of that the duvet was thin and light. She was struggling to pull it down as it was. A heavier one would have made her task impossible.

A third pull, and her prize was revealed. She eyed the bulge in his boxer shorts for a while before returning to her task. Eventually she threw enough of the duvet off of the bed that the rest slid off under its own weight, and Ross was laid, almost, bare.

Waddling slightly, due to the awkward softness of the mattress, Kayla walked back to Ross again, vaulting over his leg, and approaching her goal. She stopped once she was within touching distance, and sat down with a shaky exhale.

She reached forward with one paw gingerly, but her excitement made it impossible for her to keep it from shaking. She looked at Ross once more; he had a slight grimace on his face making him look as if he were uncomfortable. 'Understandable I suppose,' she thought to herself. 'I'd be uncomfortable too if I had to walk around with this thing all day.'

Finally she allowed her paw to touch the top of the bulge, keeping her eyes locked on Ross to ensure that he didn't wake. She knew he had always been a heavy sleeper, but she wasn't leaving anything to chance. She was sure she heard him gasp in his sleep as she applied a second paw to the tented material. 'Arceus, Ross'll never forgive me if he catches me here.' Her mental argument was a weak one, easily overridden by her heat's power over her.

Eventually deciding that she had stalled for too long, she moved her second paw up to join her first, and made a clumsy attempt at undoing the buttons holding the cloth closed. Her small paws fumbled with the first button for a while. It was difficult, and she was sure that anyone else would have woken up by now, but occasional glances at Ross's face let her know that he was still sound asleep.

Finally she managed to maneuver the button so that it slid through the hole. She allowed herself a triumphant moment, before going after the second button. The second button was easier now that she had a technique, and the material wasn't as taut with the first undone. She didn't even have to pull the material down as Ross's organ sprung free of its confines of its own accord as soon as she undid the second button.

She took a while just to admire the human length. So different to any other she had seen. Granted her experience of the male phallus was fairly limited, but still... It was, she estimated, almost double the length of Alba's, at about six inches long. Quite standard for any human but comparatively huge to the Buizel, who was herself, just over two feet tall.

The shape was also different, rather than tapering to a point, it was the same thickness along the shaft, and the head flared before rounding off.

She shook herself out of the stupor she found herself in and stood up, lifting her paws once more, and placing one on either side of the shaft, just under the ridge of the head. Trying to ignore the burning of her vulva for as long as possible, she began to massage the shaft, mimicking as best she could, the way she imagined her sex had felt when she was being humped by Alba. Starting off slow but speeding up and adding slight pressure every so often.

She heard Ross grunt, and moan occasionally, as his sleep was disturbed. She knew she didn't have long and her mind kept telling her to step it up a level. 'We need to make sure he can't say no.' the voice in her head urged. She hesitated, pausing in her ministrations to look the meat in her paws over again. It throbbed with the lack of attention and its shape deeply fascinated her, but could she? Could she even fit it in her mouth? Never mind her sex? Still, she shivered in excitement at the prospect of having his tool inside her.

Noticing a clear drop of pre forming at the tip of the teen cock, she made her mind up, and with one last mischievous glance at her trainer, she leaned in and licked the viscous liquid from his tip. Her rough tongue gliding over the bulbous head. This drew a long gasp from the trainer.

She wondered briefly what kind of dream he was having as her tongue returned to its work on the penis. One of her paws left her master's shaft and she began to massage her dripping slit, moaning as her paw teased her velvet folds. No longer worried about noise, or mess.


Ross began to pant as he watched Kayla raise and drop herself repeatedly, on his prick. Every fall sending new and indescribable pleasure through his being, and every lift making him whimper with need, making him seem more like the submissive pet than the master he was meant to be. The rhythmic squeezing of her inner walls, along with the tight, hot, wetness brought his ecstasy to new heights.

He wished desperately for this treatment to never end, but he was well aware that this was a dream, albeit a very realistic one. His dreams always ended before the best bit. He stared at the pussy pounding his crotch. It was red and irritated from her heat and he could smell the spicy, enticing aroma of her juices.

Something in the back of his mind snagged on that fact, he could smell? That seemed a little off for a dream. A sudden jolt of mind-numbing pleasure knocked these thoughts out of his head. Kayla was now letting out a loud "Bui!" each time his cock hilted within her.

That definitely wasn't right, his dick was just over six inches long, something almost a quarter of her body size shouldn't be able to hilt in her so easily without causing her some pain to start with. He reminded himself that this was a dream and that believability wasn't exactly a problem. Still these little things ate at him and dulled the sensation slightly.

"Oh god, Kayla." He couldn't help but moan out as she continued the abuse of her pussy.

A sharp pain nipped the head of his length, it wasn't entirely a bad feeling, and in fact a masochistic part of his mind enjoyed it. That was when his mind worked out what was wrong with the dream; he shouldn't be able to feel pain at all. The dream was shattered as he made sense of the situation, and his eyes snapped open, attempting to see into the murky blackness of the room.

Looking down as his eyes grew accustomed to the dark, he looked along his body to see Kayla attempting to fit his manhood into her mouth. The rounded head made it impossible to get more than a little over an inch into her mouth, and every time she lifted her head, though she was obviously trying to avoid it, her teeth were scraping the sensitive flesh, causing that pleasurable pain.

"Oh, god! Kayla!" He gasped, urgent this time rather than contented.

She lifted her head and looked at him, a guilty smile crossing her muzzle and a flicker of worry in her eye like a child caught with its hand in the cookie jar. One of her paws continued to massage his shaft gently, while her other was teasing her folds, the fur on the paw was damp with her wetness, emphasizing her need.

Ross stared at her for a while, unsure of what to say, there was a dark voice in the back of his mind that told him to let her keep going, to blow in her mouth. He attempted to silence the voice as best he could. Unfortunately, Kayla took the long pause as acceptance and lowered her head once again, allowing her tongue to run over his exposed glans.

He felt every bump, every taste bud on her rough tongue. He bucked forward involuntarily. Kayla proceeded to lick over his entire head, lapping up the pre that had gathered there.

"No! Wait a minute, don't, stop!" Then realizing how his words could be misconstrued. "No, I didn't mean don't stop! I... Oh god." Finally managing to block out the voice he reached forward and pushed her back, preventing her ministrations both on him, and herself.

"Bui! Bui-bui, bui bui?" Kayla looked up at him confused.

He gave her a good natured smile, and sat there panting, holding her back from her prize all the while. Once he had finally regained his breath he reached under her shoulders with both hands, lifting her clear of the bed and reclining back, setting her down on his chest.

She picked herself up and looked into his eyes, her large, brown orbs burned into his own blue ones. Searching for an answer as to why he had stopped her from doing something they both had so clearly enjoyed.

He could feel a drip of her hot nectar drop onto his chest. The spicy, intoxicating smell was ten times stronger now, and it was making that dark voice all the more irresistible. "I... Kayla..." He panted, and licked his lips, which were incredibly dry considering the humidity of the room.

"Are... Are you sure?" He felt bad, as if he were taking advantage of her heat. But here, with her scent invading his every sense, there was little he could do to dissuade himself, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to stop, even if she said no.

He had imagined she might immediately say yes, she was prone to recklessness, but she seemed to take this decision seriously and placed her chin atop her wet paw thoughtfully. After a few seconds of thinking she leaned forwards and kissed him in response, her tongue demanding entry into his mouth.

She explored his cavernous mouth with her tongue for awhile before pulling back with a decisive. "Bui!"

That was a "Yes!" If ever Ross had heard one. His resolve crumbled, and he nodded at her with a sigh of half-relief, half-resignation. 'This is definitely what she wants, it's definitely what I want... But will she regret it come morning?'

The thought didn't hold much weight, and was gone as soon as he heard a needy "Buiiiii!" from Kayla. He had kept her waiting too long.

He reached up and pushed her back, along his chest, to his naval, stopping as she reached his treasure trail. Kayla turned as she felt an obstacle press against her back, and half turned to look at Ross's member, standing proudly to attention. She turned back to Ross, he was blushing so hard, he could have sworn his face was on fire.

Noting the blush, and the overall expression of awe, Kayla couldn't help but giggle, covering her mouth with a paw as she did. A mischievous smile crossed her muzzle and she began to rub her rump against the rock hard cock, causing Ross to gasp.

He restrained himself, so that he didn't buck and accidentally throw her off of him, and took deep breaths to steady himself. Eventually she tired of her teasing and fixed Ross with a gaze that told him she was ready. With another nod Ross waited for Kayla to hop off of him, before sitting up and removing his boxers. Discarding them to the floor he turned back to Kayla.

Without waiting for further confirmation he reached forward and hooked her under the arms again. This time positioning her above his waiting prick. She stood with the tips of her foot paws on either side of his crotch, to keep herself elevated above the throbbing human meat.

As he lowered her she allowed her feet to go flat, lowering her just enough, so that his head came into contact with her entrance. They each gasped as shockwaves coursed through their bodies. Ross was sure his heartbeat could be heard from the next room.

Kayla looked up at him again, seeming suddenly very confident. "Bui." her voice was soft, but eager, encouraging. He took it as a sign to keep going. With slow, careful movements he pressed her down further, pressing his engorged head into her nether lips. Kayla raised her head, closing her eyes and moaning to the rooftops at the feeling of her mate finally claiming her as his own.

With a groan, Ross felt his head penetrate her opening. He inhaled through his teeth at the unbelievable warmth supplied by her folds. He looked down at his diminutive lover, a mix of pain and pleasure was etched on her face in equal measures. He stopped pushing her down worried that he might have really hurt her.

"Are you okay?"


Kayla opened one of her eyes, squinting into the concerned gaze of her master. "Yes, yes I'm fine." She confirmed with a nod. She couldn't deny that at first, it had hurt going in, but now that he was inside her, the pain was a fading memory. No pokémon, no matter how big, could ever hope to make her feel as good as Ross was right now.

Perhaps, it was the feeling of him filling her up in all the right ways. Maybe it was the joy and security of sharing this experience with the one she knew she wanted to be hers forever. But this moment felt incredible, surreal even. To think that another could bring her such joy, and to know that she was bringing him pleasure in return.

She felt him begin to push in again, the motion stimulating her in every possible way. Her heat made the action much easier, adding more lubrication to her already dripping sex. He managed to fit in another three inches of his length, now that the head was buried within her, without any effort. She felt her walls contract against the welcome intruder, as her master impaled her on his dick.

"Oh dear Mew!" she exclaimed at the feeling of his girth spreading her open. He obviously understood that she had complimented him as a grin spread across his face.

"You ready?" He asked her. 'What kind of dumb question is that? I've been ready for days. I've been ready since you saved me. I was born ready. Take me you idiot!' She blushed at her own thoughts, she was very glad that Alba wasn't around, that was exactly the kind of thing he'd broadcast to anyone he could get to listen.

"Yes, take me!" she moaned aloud. She nodded fervently to make sure she got the point across.

He took the, not so subtle, hint and began to thrust forwards while holding her still, pressing himself deeper than she thought he'd get originally, but still not quite hilting himself. Kayla let out a loud whimper, as he sent miniature shockwaves of pleasure through her body with each centimeter he sunk into her. With an inch or two left outside of her, his crotch and pubes now soaked in her nectar, he stopped for a short while, allowing her time to grow accustomed to his size.

Quickly becoming bored with his lack of movement, Kayla took it upon herself to bounce slightly in his grasp. Making him grunt with every shift of her body. Every suckle of her needy cunny drawing his shaft deeper and making him buck against her, struggling to keep himself from hilting for as long as possible.

She fixed his gaze again urging him to finish it. He seemed to glean understanding just from the look she gave him. "Are you sure?" She nodded enthusiastically, with a moan of frustration.

He gave her a couple more seconds before taking the final plunge and thrusting hard into her soaking, heated womanhood. Hilting himself with an intense moan, and a cry from Kayla. She felt tears well in her eyes and she bit her tongue to take the focus off the other pain. That had hurt. She felt him filling every single space inside her, even if there had been more of him, it wouldn't have fit without tearing into her uterus.

"Oh my god! I'm, I'm so sorry, Kayla I..." She fought away his arms as they attempted to lift her off of his boner. Determined, as she was, to take it all. Her fighting caused her to wriggle on the length and Ross gasped as the intense heat, along with her movements, caused him to fall back, using his arms to support himself and keep his back raised off of the bed.

His new position left her sitting in his lap, unsupported, with his length buried within her folds. Panting and rocking against her lover, as the pain faded and the pleasure returned. She smiled up at her mate and master, a smug, all conquering smile, as if she had achieved her one goal and aspiration in life.

She placed her forepaws on his naval, and began to lift herself off of the length. As the cock retreated from her depths she shivered, the pleasure returning along with some of the pain. When she had pushed herself up as far as her short arms allowed her she dropped herself again. Allowing gravity to do her work and push her back onto Ross's human meat.

She gave a loud coo as she felt the bliss return. Her walls milked the cock once again, eliciting a shuddering groan from Ross, who no longer had any will to lift her off of him. He simply allowed her to raise and drop herself over and over, like she had in his dream. Each time rewarding her with an involuntary moan of ecstasy.

She giggled slightly, between gasps for breath, at the usually calm and in control trainer, now so helpless and at her mercy. Every time she dropped herself onto his prick she felt him throb sending thrills throughout every nerve in her body. She could feel his maleness grazing the secret spot she had found during her masturbation earlier with every hilting and it made her arms weak and her head spin.

She began to gyrate her hips with every down movement. Riding him and moving each time so that his cock brushed her clitoris more forcefully. She gasped and allowed herself to speed up, while Ross made loud, undignified grunting noises underneath her. Her pleasure intensified tenfold as his stiff rod delved deep into her squeezing love tunnel over and over again, each time bringing a new thrill and making her murr deep in her throat with excitement.

Every lift sent a tingling sensation throughout her entire being, every drop made her moan out in bliss and brought her a step closer to climax. She sped up slightly, and found a decent rhythm, before starting to pound her abused pussy onto his cock. Ross had started humping back into her again, in a vain attempt to somehow push himself deeper.

Her arms were beginning to tire, but her will to cum kept her going. Her every muscle crying out for release from the tension that had been building up all night. She was wound tight, like an elastic band ready to snap.

She felt her walls contract more fervently as she began to gasp and groan loudly with every hump. A sign she recognized from both her experience with Alba and her masturbation sessions as meaning that she was close. Her vulva was milking him desperately, urging him to cum.

"God, oh fuck! Kayla I... love you so much... going to... soon." She understood what the guttural grunting and the extra strong throbs inside her meant, he was so close. She just had to give him that little extra push before she came. She increased her speed, and began to sway her hips more actively to increase both of their stimulation.

Ross let out a stuttering, gasping, animalistic moan, and arched his back as he came. Her hot, constricting sex overwhelming him and sending him into a wild, bucking, orgasm. Kayla felt warm strands of cum shoot into her deepest depth, mingling with her own juices. The feeling of his dick twitching, and throbbing within her, sent her into overdrive also, and she lifted her head, letting out an ecstatic exclamation as her own orgasm threatened to crush her like a great wave, stealing her breath away and drowning her.

She continued to ride him as her pussy walls kept milking his spent length. Stopping only when her arms were so exhausted with a combination of the exertion and her orgasm that it was impossible for her to move anymore.

She slumped forward onto his chest, her arms tucking underneath her chin, and lay there panting in exhaustion.

Ross's head was hung back, his eyes still closed from the afterglow of his orgasm. After a while of just sitting there, connected by Ross's softening length still buried within her, Ross sat up slightly.

Making sure not to allow Kayla to slide off, he maneuvered into a position that allowed him to pick her up again. Pulling his member from within her as he did, and adding to the large, cooling pool of combined fluids which had already formed on the mattress. He then laid back, placing the exhausted Buizel on his chest.

She found the strength to lift her head and look into his kind, intelligent, blue eyes. Which were focused on her. "That... was amazing! I'm sorry I made you wait so long for that." he was still panting as he spoke. "I love you."


Kayla looked surprisingly grateful to Ross, despite the fact that she had done the brunt of the work. "Bui... Bui, bui bui... bu..." She trailed off, nuzzling into his bare chest as she fell into a sound sleep.

"I'll take that as apology accepted." He joked to his sleeping Buizel. He allowed a smirk to cross his face as he saw the dreamy smile play across Kayla's muzzle. It felt good that he could give her such an experience. The worries he had, no longer existed. There was only him and Kayla in the world, and the world had been built for them alone.

He could feel what was left of their mixed juices dripping out onto him, mingling with the sweat he was already coated in. He wrapped his arms around his mate, and hoped that he could dream as sweetly as he had been, before he woke to Kayla's unexpected, and very much appreciated surprise.


Kaylen found Alba sitting on a rock, deep into the woodlands surrounding the clearing they had met with Elice and Jay in. He was staring over the edge of the rock, as if the ground below would reveal some great secret. Or open up and swallow him.

"Why did you follow me?" Alba surprised Kaylen by speaking without using his telepathy. He barely ever did that, his true voice was quite high pitched and feminine so he mainly used his psychic ability to talk.

Kaylen shook off his shock quickly. "You know why. I need to know why you're such a colossal ass to everyone."

"I already told you, I can't tell you that."

"No, you told me you don't want to tell me. There's a difference."

"Fine! You want to know?"

"I'd like nothing more." Kaylen could feel Alba's reluctance to tell him, but he would not give up so close to his goal.

Alba chuckled darkly, reverting to his psychic speech. "You know... Elice is wrong about me. I don't have some addiction to power, and I'm no freak... at least, not outside of my visual differences. But she is right about one thing... I have no self-control, no temperance. If I see something I want, I take it, and I don't care if it'll hurt someone else, or even if it'll hurt me in the long run."

"Get to the point!"

"Patience Kaylen, after all, I'm baring my soul here." He chuckled again. "Do you know what happens to a pokémon with no temperance, if he suddenly acquires psychic powers?"

"I haven't a clue, enlighten me." Kaylen had already begun to tire of this game.

"Eventually he gets curious, and impatient. Curious and impatient is not a good mix for a pokémon who can..."

"Just tell me why you're such a dick to everyone." Kaylen interrupted

Alba paused for a second, and then shrugged. "Revenge." he stated simply.

Kaylen stared at him for a while in confusion. "Revenge? But... What could Kayla have done to make you take advantage of her?"

"It's not Kayla, and it's not something that's been done, it's something that will be done. A curious and impatient psychic pokémon ends up looking into the future, knowledge that no mortal thing should have. I've looked too far, Kaylen. I lash out at everyone because... I'm scared, that's why it's gotten worse lately. Because it's getting closer all the time."

"What is?"

"My death... I'm an asshole to everyone I know, because I know, and always have known how I die."

"Your death? But... But you said revenge... If not against Kayla, then who?" A sickness in the pit of his stomach made him feel like he already knew. Jay's words from yesterday echoed around his head: "I swear your rage is gonna destroy you."

Alba stared intently at the Buizel. Kaylen shook his head in response to the accusation. "Now hang on a minute here, there's no way I could ever... I mean I've thought about it, and sometimes you just make me so... But there's no way I could..."

"I'm a prick, because since I evolved, I've known that I get killed, by someone who used to be one of my best friends. Funny ol' world isn't it?" He flashed a mirthless smile at Kaylen, who opened his mouth to protest. "Face it Kaylen," Alba didn't give him the chance to speak. "You're nothing but a cold blooded murderer... Or at least, you will be..."


Yay!!! Okay, I had a heck of allot of fun writing that chapter, but now I've gotta ask you guys a favor... I need you to be really, savagely, heartbreakingly, depression inducingly honest, and tell me about the yiff. Was it too long? Did it suck ass? Was it better than my others? Worse than my others? Was it really boring?

I really need your help with this one guys, your comments will help me immensely with the BFY yiff scene, which I really, REALLY, don't wanna screw up. So for the love of all that's holy, comments on the yiff please.

Apart from that, I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing it. ^^