Moving Forward
Story by UmiTheUmbreon on SoFurry
#9 of Cassidy's Journey
Cassidy opened her eyes as dawn approached. Faint light was present around the edge of her closed curtains, threatening the darkness that filled the room. She still rested on top of Fenny.
Slowly, she lifted her head from his chest and looked down as he slightly raised his head. "Didn't mean to wake you," she whispered.
She felt well-rested and a bit sore in her thighs and glutes. Cassidy had slept like a munna after riding to and from gyms and bouncing to end the night; however, she had a feeling that Fenny's presence and security helped more than both combined.
'It's okay.' He glanced down at her breasts pressed against his chest before resting his head back against the pillow.
"Let me put my clothes on." Cassidy sat up. Her mind fought between guilt and comfort, having fucked her braixen out of initial desperation, but knowing she could have this again and again.
Cassidy loved him, and Fenny cared deeply for her. She could feel it. She always had but had separated from him. For whose sake?
She put on her pants and shirt, tugging it to rid of any wrinkles.
'C-Cass…' Fenny began.
She looked up.
'Should... we pretend it didn't happen?'
"...Let me think." Cassidy left the room while stretching her legs between steps.
Fenny grinned to himself and got up shortly after she did, nearly tripping over Violet darting in front of him on his way out of the bedroom. He looked over at the closed restroom door with a muffled shower running behind it, so he'd wait in the living room.
Garna was on the couch's arm; Fenny did as usual and sat on the other side.
'How did it go?' she asked.
'I... actually told her everything after the gym. She took it better than I thought.' Without knowing, Fenny developed a subtle grin. He brought a forepaw to rub his chest.
She sat up. 'And what came out of it?'
'I was… able to sleep in her bed, and she held me all night.'
'That's all?' She looked at Fenny with a slight grin that edged a smirk.
'Uh, y-yeah?... Why are you looking at me like that?' Fenny shifted his shoulders and swallowed, raising a paw and holding the back of his neck.
'I can smell it on you.'
Fenny choked and squeezed his neck. 'Wh-Wha, you can?'
She then smirked. 'So, are you two close again?' Garna rested her hands on her lap.
'I-It was only one night, but she said she'd think about it.'
'If you two shared a night that special, and if Cassidy loves you very much, it won't fade so easily.'
Not long after their discussion, Cassidy entered the living room in a black zip-up jacket and jeans. "Going for a walk. I'll be back," Cassidy said before leaving.
Since she was already outside, she first stopped to wash her motorbike, crouching and scrubbing it with the cloth until no dirt remained. She looked past the scratch. "That works."
She stood and hung the cloth on its handlebar, sauntering through her town among a few elderly jogging and some people smoking or sitting on their porches. Her hands were in her jacket's pockets to conceal them from the morning air. The sun rose, gradually brightening a leaden sky.
Cassidy reflected while strolling about how she'd take on the next gym, which wasn't far off from the Elite, but more so about Fenny. A heavy pit sat in her stomach.
She hadn't had relief in ages, and although who she'd had it with looked to soon become unconventional following modern society, it pleased her.
To this day, marriage between human and pokémon was legal after four years had passed after one hatched. In some regions, it was five or six, but that was around the general frame when pokémon could consent by law.
Still, she would never have thought she'd give herself to Fenny after all she had done to push any potential temptation away. Her discipline had snapped like a pathetic twig.
What was the point of neglecting him for so long if holding him for two minutes was all it took to send her over the edge?
She had given him a taste and vice versa, bringing it all to an unceremonious end; her love for him as a fennekin returned in some twisted, sexually driven manner. She couldn't leave this be, but how would she tell him that, and did she want them to have a long-term sexual relationship?
Knowing herself and her re-awakened drive, they'd be doing it frequently, and Cassidy didn't know if she wanted to commit to something like that with her damn braixen. Just how far would it go?
She looked up and saw she was close to a mile from Route 19, so she turned around and headed back home. Ahead of her was Laverre City's gym, a lot more training, and a rekindled relationship with Fenny.
"What to do…" Cassidy mumbled while approaching home. She didn't have it in her to train her pokémon today but wouldn't advance to the next gym without readying them for it. Maybe she'd lie in bed for a while. She tried never to be slakothful, but every once in a while wouldn't hurt.
So, Cassidy ended up doing so. She kept on her outfit and rested atop her blanket with the TV on, watching a world news channel based in Hoenn that kept up with current events. Two reporters, a man and a woman, sat at a table before the backdrop of a city while text discussing recent happenings scrolled underneath.
She was about to turn it off, but the reporters now discussed the controversy surrounding human-pokémon marriage and relationships. She turned it up with the remote.
"Well, we're seeing a slight but active rise in immorality between human-pokémon relationships in the public eye," the man said. He was bald and wore a dark blue shirt.
The woman had a head of blonde hair bundled in a ponytatail and wore a tight white formal shirt. "Opposition is certainly present, and it isn't unsafe to assume that multiple governments building gradual walls around it are a huge influence. Outlawing marriage to quadrupeds in Kalos and multiple other regions four years ago was a bold first step that millions disagreed with."
"Good point, but, see, what do you think their end goal is, Chloe? There's speculation that more laws will come into place to further restrict these relations on a global scale."
"That's difficult to tell when it's all speculation, but as of now, one can still legally love their quadruped minus marriage, right?"
"That is true. It's also worth bringing up that even with existing speculations, there hasn't been much of a statistical reduction in human-pokémon marriages and relationships around the world. It's actually estimated to increase within the next decade."
"Oh, really?" She chuckled. "Not even I knew that. I–"
Cassidy turned it off. She could more or less see why governments outlawed quadrupeds. Their bodily differences were staggering alongside them being less intelligent on average.
Bipedals were considered closer to that of human intelligence and were physically similar as well. Modern studies had proved this through trials, but they required more in-depth ones.
Fenny knew Accordian by growing up around it alone, though, meaning all bipedals could likely speak if they could. She wondered if quadrupeds would be able to do the same.
She closed her eyes and turned onto her side. She wanted to sleep, but her mind had a habit of erasing the very idea, especially after running her through human-pokémon relationships. What more did Cassidy have besides Fenny? And the thing was, their intimacy was very, very new.
Fenny looked over at her door from the couch. For an hour now, Cassidy hadn't left her room, and he wanted to check on her.
He glanced over at Garna napping. 'She would encourage me to...' The thought alone gave him courage, so he stood and approached her door. His tail flicked, and he took a deep breath before pushing it open and peeking inside.
He saw her curled up and took a few steps to her bed.
She sat up slightly and looked at him standing at a distance. "...What is it?"
'I, uh, wanted to see if you were okay. I should have knocked ' He looked down for a moment. 'B-But you've been in here for a while.' After several moments of silence, he took a step back.
"I just don't feel like doing much today." Cassidy sat up fully.
'You can tell me if you want.'
Cassidy stared at him. "...Come," she intoned, and he did, moving to the center of her bed. "I think I'm spending too much of my time fighting gyms. It's less enjoyable and is becoming stressful. I don't want it to be a hobby, but it has become all I can think about. I don't care about me, not my health... Only gyms. It is crisis and guilt whenever I consider stopping because I have then stopped applying myself, but I don't want to push you guys too hard."
'We're made for it... Most of us, anyway. Do you know why you're doing it?'
"I have no other form of release. I'm not eighteen, but I feel like I'm even older."
Cassidy sighed. "I should tell you what I have not. You were young when it took place... After my parents passed, I was depressed more than I would ever be. I pushed any friends I had away and isolated. Because I accepted no pity or aid, my mental health declined rapidly, I didn't enjoy anything anymore, not the outdoors or battling. I had Garna, but not even she could help me.
I looked into hex maniacs and their lifestyle to cope. It seemed promising, so I adopted the dress style, colors, and found a group of maniacs near me at fifteen, but I was in with an awful crowd and fell into drinking and drugs for a while. They promised it would help."
"I was content, smiling, and laughing most nights. I could barely walk or think, but I forgot everything and felt pure euphoria, which kept me going back. I started despising every moment I was sober because those horrendous memories flooded back; I had an easy method to run to and erase them for a couple of hours. I don't want to return, but I will never feel that good again.
There was one decent guy out of those ritual-addicted freaks who watched over me and made sure I never did anything too stupid, and... one other Paldean girl I was good enough friends with. I hated him for ripping me so suddenly from my escape at first."
Cassidy wore a somber expression. "I puked my guts out one night and was almost taken advantage of a year later. The same guy forced me out and away from that life that night.
It took me a while to stop drinking, but I was able to in months. The colors grew on me, so I kept that aspect and moved out of the house that haunted me and across the region soon after, where I found interest in battling competitively."
Fenny's eyes were glossy enough to form tears while he listened to her every word. His ears slightly folded back.
"I-I'll talk to people or watch them, and it confuses me how they can be so happy and carefree, but I must remind myself how fucked up I am. My birthday is soon, and I hate uttering the word alone."
'B-But it created an amazing trainer...' He looked aside, then back at her. 'And you can understand me.'
Cassidy gave a brief, wry grin and slightly extended her arms to him.
Fenny went and let her embrace him, resting his cheek against her chest while she traced her fingers over his bushy tail. He closed his eyes against Cassidy's steady heartbeat.
"I will try napping. You don't have to stay."
'I'm staying.'
"Okay..." Cassidy lay back with him and shifted onto her side while facing him, sighing as he snaked his arms around her waist. She draped her arm over his side, shifting more to get comfortable before closing her eyes.
Fenny awoke to a darker room, pressed against Cassidy's body, and slowly turned so he was on his side. He stared at her resting face for a minute before hugging her waist and nuzzling his cheek into her neck. 'I love you…' He closed his eyes to savor her embrace.
She awoke after more time passed and rubbed her eyes. Cassidy felt refreshed after that nap, and her conscience and body knowing Fenny was holding her had to have kept her asleep with a sounder mind.
After telling him everything, it reminded her that she didn't want to relapse and return to the girl she once was, who spent most of her time doing nothing but sobbing her eyes and moping. Cassidy was past that, but each day threatened to bring it back in full force.
Fenny opened his eyes.
Cassidy looked down at him and ran her fingers along his ears as they twitched. "Thank you for earlier." She kissed him on his head.
'Anytime, really.'
"Hungry?" All of her pokémon had to be. She was in her room all day.
'A bit,' Fenny replied.
Cassidy tensed her legs and yawned. "Let's fix that."
She left her room and went to the kitchen, opening the freezer and crouching while scanning the options. There wasn't much but a few frozen meats.
'What're you making?'
Cassidy turned and saw Fenny behind her. "We have torchic breasts I packed in here, so I was thinking about frying it."
'Could I help?' he asked as she reached in and grabbed the frozen plastic pack.
She handed him it. "We need to thaw it first. Put it in a bowl and soak it in cool water in the sink."
'Got it.' He took the pack and went to open a cabinet over the counter, where he grabbed a bowl and placed it under the sink's nozzle.
While he did that, Cassidy grabbed a bag of flour from another cabinet along with oil and some seasonings. She glanced at a tall glass pushed to the back. Roseli vodka, which she held onto only if it ever got that bad.
In around fifteen minutes, after the torchic had thawed, she got a plate and poured the flour into it. She looked at Fenny, who stood beside her. "Want to add the seasonings?"
Fenny nodded and grabbed one of the small containers, which was salty lemon. 'Uh.' He looked at her. 'How much?'
"A few dashes over the flour." Cassidy crouched and opened a cabinet below the sink, grabbing a pan and taking the oil to the stove. "The same with the other, then we'll pack it over the torchic."
After cooking and feeding everyone dinner, she made herself coffee while Fenny sat at the dining room table. Cooking felt like a chore at times for Cassidy, and not only because she simply didn't want to most of the time due to a lack of motivation, but because it reminded her of her parents. Fenny helping her prepare everything made it a little better, however. He'd never asked to before.
To this day, Cassidy sometimes leaned back against the counter while wearing a stupid grin and could picture her mother going back and forth from a boiling pot on the stove to the fridge. She prepared dinner for everyone while her father scrubbed plates and silverware if he wasn't at work.
"No couch this time?" She sat in the chair across from him after adding cream and sugar to her coffee and getting a cup of water for him.
Fenny shook his head and sipped his water while taking glances at her mug that gentle steam rose from it. 'Añu is… lights out on it. I wanted to be in here, anyway.'
Cassidy looked at his eyes and followed them down to her mug, grinning a little. "You can't have coffee. It makes you sick, no?"
'…But I like how it tastes.'
Cassidy set her mug on the table and pushed it toward him. "Don't guzzle it."
His ears perked. 'Thank you!' Fenny held it, blew the liquid, and took close to five sips. He set it down and slid it back to Cassidy, wiping his mouth.
"So, after I told you about my past earlier, I thought some more, and I feel it might be time I took the next step toward recovery, even though it daunts me..."
'What do you mean?'
"Like I said, I am using battling and training to suppress myself. It is helping now, kind of, but I guess I should try taking steps outside of it."
'You said your birthday is coming up soon.'
"Couple of weeks, but... I want to let it pass."
She was in bed that night with Fenny asleep next to her after tidying up her room and vacuuming. She rarely did, but she wanted to start doing it more since it gave her breathing room.
About Fenny, she felt more intensely for him after opening herself to his ears and wondered what falling in love with him would be like.
She couldn't keep a successful relationship with another human, mainly because she had no time to get to know and commit to someone on her current path. Cassidy saw no room for it. However, an aversion also stirred within after her first attempt during her hex maniac phase.
Cassidy had even slept with pokémon during gatherings with her old group, which she'd never tell Fenny. The one she regretted more than her many instances back then was with a jolteon and zangoose after she was banned from her group.
Still desperate and suffering intense withdrawal a week later, she'd encountered the duo while strolling a route by Laverre at night.
She'd never felt more like a degraded slut than after those two wild pokémon used and roughed her body up atop grass and dirt, which she halfway enjoyed at the time. They too abandoned her on the ground afterward as everyone else had.
Cassidy had to have sat in her shower for hours in darkness back home, washing the dirt and sticky essence away while her dreary life from the moment she'd found out her parents were gone up until that night played before her eyes on a dreadful, dreadful loop.
And so she never sought such deviancy again.