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Addiction

Chapter Thirteen

Consanguinity

By:

Rufus Quentin

November 7, 1998

I made my decision several days in advance. I planned out every step. If it didn't happen this weekend, it would happen the next, or the first Saturday all meteorological conditions proved fortuitous. Some higher power decided I needn't wait long. I woke up to rays of bright light streaming through my window on that unforgettable morning. When I finally stumbled out of bed in my extra-large Nirvana shirt and plaid pajama bottoms, I waddled to the window and blinked out into the painful brightness. Blue outshone the few white puffs of clouds. If this kept up, today would be the day, I thought, flinching away from the brightness on my shuffling journey to the bathroom to go piss. Good, I thought, I was probably going to chicken out if I kept waiting.

It felt more like the day after a storm had passed and it was yet unknown exactly what outside the winds had changed. An uncertainty was there, the knowledge that my decision, should circumstances even allow it to unfold, could go either way. I got dressed, performed my daily hygiene rituals, and stepped bare-pawed down the stairs into our kitchen. Dustin sat at the nook, reclining in the sunlight, listening to the radio and reading from dad's General Mechanics magazines with a steaming cup of coffee in his paw. I poured a cup myself and sat wordlessly opposite him, pretending to distract myself with news of the day.

The only thing I hadn't planned was the most difficult hurdle. How, exactly, does one make small talk ending with a proposition to have sex? How does anyone lay out their desire to bed one's own sibling? Everything we ever did just sort of happened as if on accident, no conversation, no premeditation, just little escalations that in retrospect felt right. I think that's what made it so thrilling. Now I sat, sipping coffee, trying to figure out how to nudge the fates into giving me another chance after I'd blown the last one. I grew antsier as the moments passed, as one song transitioned into another. The words burned on the edge of my tongue and I feared I'd never work up the courage to say them. I watched my brother over the edge of the newspaper, hoping he'd ask me something, anything.

"Hey," I said, caving to the pressure. I felt my ears and face warm as soon as I did. This would be it. This was the beginning of that conversation.

"Hey," Dustin said without looking up.

"What's up?" I asked, playing innocent.

"Na'much."

"You got plans today?"

He shrugged. "Shit ton of guns to maintenance for Sam. Maybe work on the truck. Too early to decide."

"You, uh, got time for a run today?" I asked, feeling my heart begin to pound in my chest.

He looked up at me for a second. One of his ears swiveled my direction. I had his attention. "Possibly."

"You know," I heard myself say as I went into that particular zone where I felt everything happen in third person. "I think I'm ready for it."

His reaction wasn't that which I expected. His other ear turned toward me and he raised his eyebrows, but his eyes remained on his magazine. "You sure?" He asked, speaking into the pages.

"Yea," I said. "I slept on it a couple of nights and I think I'm ready."

"What made you decide that today is the day?"

"Nothing really. I just needed some time and it took this long to make up my mind."

"And you don't mind that it's with me?"

"Why should I mind?"

"You might have some reasons."

"It should be obvious, but I've taken that into account."

"If you really want this, well," he said, folding his magazine and laying it on the counter between us, "I guess I'm ready too."

We looked at each other across the table. I could tell he was acting. His carefully controlled nonchalance had a way of silencing my regrets. It was precisely what I loved about him, that he could spin around something that was his doing and make it seem like it was doing me a favor, that jackass. I knew better than anyone that underneath those ears of his, his ego was doing somersaults like a caffeinated puppy. I tried not to let my relief show. I picked up the same deadpan mannerisms and pretended I didn't just invite my brother to have sex with me. I stood up, topped off my coffee and went foraging for breakfast like I would any other day.

"We are talking about what I think we're talking about?" Dustin asked a moment later as I was pulling the lever down on two toaster waffles.

"Idiot," I said. "Subtly is lost on the young."

The morning ran as expected. After breakfast I went up and took a long shower. I spent the better part of an hour grooming, taking into account all the things one would when preparing to lose one's virginity. I didn't want to make myself pretty, or overly feminine. I loathed the concept. Dustin wouldn't have appreciated it anyway. I decided just to be clean, to play to my strengths and make it look like I hadn't spent the late morning and early afternoon trying to be the best tomboy I could. I dressed for our run, wrapped ankles and all long before Dustin even showed up. I ended up in my room, sitting on my bed, starring at a ray of perfect sunshine cutting diagonally to the floor with nothing to do but contemplate my decision. How many people out there methodically plot their first times, I wondered. How many plot incest? When my brother came to my door at exactly 1:21pm, I stood and realized that I'd been aroused for quite some time. Damn it, I thought as I followed him through the house and out the door, and hoped the added musk I'd tried so hard to prevent wouldn't be as bad as I feared. Every step and stride I took, every word I said must have come across as completely awkward.

"What made you change your mind?" My brother asked as we were sprinting down the final stretch of hillside toward the fort.

"I didn't," I panted, keeping up but still unable to match his stamina.

"So you've wanted this all along?"

"I don't know how long I've wanted it," I continued, taking a few breaths in between statements. "I mean, I've always wanted sex, but..."

"You didn't want it with me."

"That's not true. Last week in the forest. I wanted it then."

"Why didn't we?"

"I don't know," I breathed, "I didn't think it was an option. Then it almost happened. I guess I needed time to think."

"Sounds like you."

"What about you? Do you want it?"

"Yea," he said.

"For how long?"

"I don't know. I don't know if it would offend you to say I didn't notice how you grew up.

I mean, I noticed you've become, you know, attractive, but that's not enough reason for me to behave the way I have been. I never really had thoughts, y'know? I really don't know."

"What changed that?"

"Hard to tell. Little things."

"Like what?"

"I think a lot changed when we started talking. Then all of a sudden you wanted to spend time with me.

You helped me and you took care of my paw when I hurt it. It all sounds ridiculous, I know. It all happened really fast."

"It did," I said. "The last few months are a blur."

"You're the first person to actually care; I guess is what I'm saying. I've been with girls before. Yea, we talked about love, but they, or we, were all so inexperienced. Love was just what you said to get into people's pants. At some point either they or I feel different from one week until the next and they're gone, or I'm gone. Six months is my record. Fuck it; I don't know why I want this. I just feel comfortable with you. What we've done thus far is better, I don't know why."

I issued a nervous chuckle. I knew I couldn't do much better than ramble either. I didn't have a good reason either. "You think I'm attractive?" I asked, avoiding the spot I put Dustin in.

Dustin turned around, trotting backwards for a few steps and shrugged.

"You do."

"I like pictures you gave me for one. That and I really like the time we've been spending together, here and around the house," he said, slowly shortening his strides as the fort came into view. He pounced to a walking pace and turned, waiting for me. I doubled over as soon as I got the chance to stop and panted for the better part of a minute.

"Damn it," I said, "I knew better than giving you those."

"I love those things," he said, smiling. His chest rose and fell quickly, but he otherwise showed no signs of being phased by the run.

I didn't have the breath to respond. I stood there, bent over, clutching my knees, watching my brother swing his backpack off his shoulders and dropping it into the leaves. I had so many questions left for him. We probably needed an entire conversation before things started. I watched my brother unpack. He spread our blue blanket, laid out a battery operated cassette player, and he even brought some water bottles, one of which he handed me. I opened the cap and took a swig, slowly catching my breath.

"No condoms," he said, when I noticed that important little detail fail to materialize out of his backpack. "I couldn't score any. I tried, but, you know. My friends are out and you know how expensive they are. I promise I'll be good though. Trust me. I know when to pull out."

I nodded, feeling a rush of anxiety roll over me. Those things were impossible to get. I'd never even seen one other than the boxes hanging behind the attendant at the gas station. I would have preferred that little layer of security, but after such a long time of working up the courage and finally making it to the finish line; I didn't want to wait any further. "S'okay," I said, "so long as you do we should be okay, but please do."

"I promise," he reaffirmed.

We both sat down on the blanket until our breathing normalized. I clutched my knees, not knowing what to do next. There was no pretext this time, no games, no beating around the bush and feigning surprise. All I had to do was reach out, take Dustin, and begin. The times I felt most attracted to him were when a thin veil of disbelief separated me from the fact we were related. In that moment I felt very much aware that I sat next to my brother. No matter how hard I tried, my brain simply wouldn't allow me to see him as anything else. Neither of us dared to make the first move. We both understood how precarious my consent was and neither wanted to jeopardize it.

"Let's relax a bit first," my brother said, lying down. He crossed his arms behind his head and looked over at me, as if inviting me to watch the clouds and nothing more. I followed his lead and lay back, looking up at the trees above and exhaling an anxious breath. I still wanted it as bad as ever. That stupid emotional barrier just had to be overcome. Would I have felt the same way if it were anyone else? After a while Dustin turned to his side and faced me. I turned his direction and lay next to him with just a short distance between our noses. "You're nervous?" My brother asked, or declared, or both.

"Yea," I said. "Is that normal?"

"Definitely. I think everyone gets nervous their first time."

"Were you?"

Dustin nodded. "And how."

"I thought it's different for guys."

"It is, but I guess I was a bit too young for it. Had I been a year or two older, I probably would have felt more ready."

"Are you nervous now?"

"A little," he said, "but we've already done so much, that I've had some time to get used to the idea. I envy you."

"Why?"

"Because you waited this long."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"It's a good time where you're at. You're mature enough to remember it in a good way."

"I hope so."

"Do you want to start?"

I just nodded ever so slightly, but visibly. I just didn't know how to proceed.

"Then close your eyes," Dustin said.

I did as he asked and inhaled a deep breath. I took in the forest's scent and the scent of my brother. I felt his warmth so very close and sensed his breathing. The moment persisted without anything happening to the point I almost considered opening my eyes. Then I felt it. My brother's nose and whiskers bumped mine and his lips made light contact to my own. It was up to me to finish the kiss, to definitively knock over the first wobbling domino and let all the rest fall as they may. I found myself pressing into the muzzle touching mine. I licked his lips and nose and felt a tongue do the same to mine. Within a moment we were engrossed, locking our muzzles together and exploring the depths of a kiss. My brother's flavor once again spread through my mouth. I didn't need sight to know with whom I was making out. Dustin's taste, his scent, even the distance between his fangs and the points of his teeth upon my tongue would have been enough clues. Dustin's paw moved to my flank and caressed my body. Mine did roughly the same motion. We pulled each other close and held one another as our tongues contended for supremacy.

Our fingers began to move, going for exposed fur, slipping under untucked hems, and daring to caress erogenous zones. We tousled up each other's clothes, searching for spots known to lower our partner's inhibitions. When clothes and fur weren't enough to satiate, Dustin brought his paw to my breasts. In response mine moved beneath his tail, all the while coursing over clothing that had become nothing but an obstacle. I happened to be the first to push things along, unsnapping my brother's tail-strap which just happened to be underneath my fingers. After that things became a blur. My brother let loose as if that one button were an invitation to get me naked. My pants became slack and his paw began dipping into my jeans and under my boxers. I found myself racing to keep up and making sure that my brother didn't have all the advantages.

After several more minutes of clumsy fondling, hampered by the elastic of our underwear and the confined spaces in each other's pants, we wordlessly elected to engage in a contest of who could rid the other of the offending pieces of clothing the fastest. Employing paws and toe-claws we quickly tugged down pants and boxers, pulling them off our ankles and kicking them off the blanket. Bare-bottomed we continued to make out uninterrupted. My brother's paw worked its way between my legs, covering my vulva entirely. His finger-pads rested over my warmth, only ever so slightly caressing my thin slit and pubic fur, more or less keeping safe what I implicitly offered him to take. Of course my brother's cock was peeking out of his sheath by the time my paws found their way into his lap. I clasped his arousal and balls in my paws, tepidly toying with the male anatomy that would be the first inside me if my second thoughts didn't dissuade me from going through with it.

It didn't seem like very long before my brother was hard and slick with pre. Dustin had me worked up and wet as well. As always he couldn't resist playing between my labia. A finger of his wiggled within my opening and slowly inched knuckle deep into my body. His other paw disappeared under the back of my shirt. I could feel him wrestle around with my bra strap. Not once had he successfully worked it free, but he tried as hard as ever. Our muzzles never separated, even as the pace of our breathing accelerated, and after moans and shuddering exhalations interspersed our kiss. We made out without trying to hurry to anything else, until I had my brother bucking in my grasp and I figured that if I held him any longer he'd prematurely make a sticky mess of my paws. We let each other go and sat up, quickly shedding the rest of our clothing. Dustin pulled the shirt off his back and I did the same, unlatching my bra in a tiny fraction of the time my brother spent trying to do so.

Rather suddenly and without asking he pushed my knees apart and crawled between them. I guess we'd reached the point in our relationship where he felt familiar enough with me to take that liberty. His muzzle dipped between my thighs and nuzzled my fur towards the scent of my arousal. Kisses pecked every inch or so along the way. He avoided my pussy for as long as he could bear, nuzzling circles around it until he gave into the compulsion to include it in his foreplay. A direct kiss pressed lightly on my labia gave way to vigorous licks which lapped clean all the wetness he'd caused. My brother's ears occasionally swatted my paw after it came down between them. I held him there against my sex, gently caressing the fur down his scalp while he exposed himself to my flavors. He had me squirming in no time with my hood between his lips and his tongue darting out against my clit. My brother ushered me to the threshold of an orgasm. I felt like I could have come any time. Only willpower kept me from sinking into the bliss of one. I wanted to save up for the appropriate time.

I tapped my brother on the shoulder just as I was a lick or two away from a potentially potent climax. I sighed as he slid his tongue from my vagina and pulled back. It hurt to feel that euphoria slowly cool back down to embers, but I'd already smithed other plans. I instructed him back and traded places. I was now between his knees, staring down my brother's knotted cock. I performed roughly the same ritual as he did for me. I kissed his thighs all the way down until my muzzle bumped his furry pouch. I kissed each of his balls, his sheath, his knot, and every inch of his shaft until I reached his canine point. I descended again, but this time with his tip sliding between my lips and along my tongue into the depths of my muzzle. My head rose and sank while my tongue swished around my brother's smooth cock, cleansing him of that coat of pre and the not all too unpleasant male musk.

I went down on Dustin for some time, carefully guiding his length between my fangs and keeping as firm a seal as I could around his girth with my lips. My paw took turns caressing his knot, testicles, and the base of his shaft, exploring his anatomy with the same curiosity he displayed on me. I pulled off after I'd felt him throb a couple times in my grasp and tasted the spurts of pre-cum jetting into my mouth. It took considerable care to keep my brother on the edge. I wanted to please him, but also for him to conserve his energy for the right moment, so that when he came, he came with me. I smiled up at my sibling, holding his vein-marbled erection by the knot, and licked the male scents off my whiskers. My brother took another turn on me until his tongue stoked the fire he'd awoken back to the edge of climax, and I took another turn on him until I had him preing like crazy into my muzzle.

After I'd pulled off a second time, we shared a glance I understood. So we'd come to it. The foreplay had ended. No slightly more innocent diversion that would bide me any more time to think came to mind. Was I ready? Yes and no. In truth I wanted to do it. I wanted to know what it was like. If I changed my mind, which as I recall, I was on the cusp of doing, I would just delay it. I reclined on the blanket. My tail flopped nervously between my parted legs. Dustin shuffled closer to me on his knees, pausing between mine. Last glances eyed over each other's nakedness, as we, our bodies ready, poised closer than ever before on the verge of committing incest.

His cock stood erect, knotted, pointed directly at me. Its girth and size came across as more intimidating than ever before. He tried to beam a smile, a little reassuring trick he had in his arsenal of charm to ease me over my trepidation, but I knew him too well, well enough to see he too displayed signs of nervousness in his haste and the subtle nuances of his behavior. Among ten-thousand other thoughts in the maelstrom, I wondered why. He'd done this before. He had nothing to lose. He had no reason to be tense. During that wavering, the mutual and interminable reading and re-reading of each other's bodies, I found myself worrying, worrying that he might back out. I mentally crossed my fingers that he wouldn't.

His paw came to rest on my thigh just above my knee. The skin beneath my fur tingled under his touch. "You ready?" He asked, his voice devoid of the allure of romance. No sultry intonation, just a practical, cool, and honest question, casual like any invitation, but serious. I appreciated the sober voice he gave it. I looked at him, his arousal, his paw on my thigh, and down my body, past my uncovered breasts, at the pink lips of my pussy in her last moments of virginity.

"I'm ready," I said, reaching into myself for the confidence to speak without wavering. My voice came across strong, without breaks or falter, perhaps a decibel to loud and stern, but clear enough to make what I wanted believable.

My brother nodded at me, uncharacteristically stern. "I'll be good," he reassured. He didn't immediately act, he just looked at me, his "little" sis, who naked, aroused, and on the verge of womanhood, presented herself as explicitly as anyone could imagine.

Our muzzles tilted and united in agreement, a short last kiss, given the immense anticipation we both felt. I certainly felt the excitement. Dustin inched closer, his paw sliding up my leg as he neared. I leaned back on my elbows, my legs inched a little wider apart and my pelvis rose for my brother as I wiggled myself comfortable before him. I could feel my heart race and my breath cycle short and quick. My gaze stood all but transfixed on the closing space between our bodies, at my brother and his canine erection.

Both our muzzles pointed down our bodies at the space between us. Dustin took hold of his knot and assisted his length to my presented sex. I watched with ears perked and eyes wide open as my brother's cock-tip made contact with my labia. He guided his tip along my slit, teasing my already extremely sensitive and swollen lips with slow, unhurried passes in a way that must have been planned. I voiced a soft, hushed gasp as the very point of his cock-tip disappeared between my folds, only to reappear a fraction of a second later, wet with my slickness. I found myself holding my breath, biting my tongue, listening to my pulse throb in my ears. With every pass I expected him to find my opening and enter it, but no, he let me wait for an interminable moment.

A final glance went over me, proofing for any unspoken sign of refusal. He only found a modest female collie with her legs spread, expectantly turning her gaze to him with a look of neigh on distressed anticipation. Then it happened. My brother guided his tip on a far more direct course than before. His canine point dipped into my slit, finding the supple opening to my vagina. I watched with open eyes as focused as ever, drawing the first fresh breath since the tease began into my screaming lungs, as my brother's tip and his familiar ridges and features passed into and vanished inside my body, past the threshold I could still lay claim to my virginity. I felt it, the illicit touch, the feeling of my skin grow taught and stretch just a little bit more. I could sense my brother's most distinct details slide uninhibited through my sensitive folds. His tip ceaselessly advancing into ever more intimate depths, parting my walls in a way unlike his fingers or tongue ever had.

I felt the fullness start to spread and reach the limits of what I thought I could take. I gasped, releasing some of that long pent up breath. I felt a wince momentarily cross my facial features as my brother's cock-tip parted previously untouched folds, asking aspects of my anatomy to conform to his dimensions, my body bearing the price of discomfort in pursuit of the taboo union we both craved.

"You okay?" He said, halting his advance with several more inches to go.

"Yea," I said, in what sounded like a peep.

My brother leaned in and began to kiss me. His tongue lapped at my lips and whiskers when I didn't immediately respond in kind. His attention coaxed my muzzle to his and my lips apart. I found myself distracted in a kiss, my focus becoming the little game of defending against my brother's tongue. I closed my eyes and let other senses take over. The feeling of my brother inside me was intense and growing. It felt as if a thousand nerves went off at once, broadcasting conflicting data. Yes, there was pain, but it was not insurmountable. That not unpleasant pressure persisted alongside it, tickled like never before by the new degree of fullness.

I couldn't tell how long the kiss lasted, but eventually Dustin withdrew from it. He gently bumped my nose with his and licked it. A nuzzle passed along the bridge of my muzzle. I found myself panting, catching up for the seemingly eternal buildup. Every breath I took and my every little squirm or fidget made me feel that smooth, warm, firmness shift within me.

"That's it," he said, "all in." He looked at me with a smile, not one of victory or conquest, but an uplifting one, like ones he shared with me after one of the thousand math problems I helped him through. Aside from my audible breathing I didn't have a reply for him. I merely looked down between us, past the tufts of our long white fur, at the pink and red sphere of his knot pressed between my spread labia. I gazed silently with a mixture of surprise and relief. He was in me as far as he could go. We were actually doing it. We, I, had gone all the way with my biological brother. The past several week's worth of emotional back and forth finally resulted in a peculiar realization of my greatest hope and my greatest fear.

"You okay?" He asked again, when I didn't reply.

"Yea," I huffed, elevating my gaze back up his body, at his face, reminded that there was more to him than the piece of anatomy I was focusing on.

"Let me know if you want me to stop," he continued. The words felt comforting, though there was no way I'd let him go just yet.

"Don't," I quickly replied.

"You ready then?"

"Always have been," I said, trying to sound as eager enough to be plausible, but the words sounded wrong the moment they left my muzzle. I've never been much of one for sex talk anyway. I let go of the blanket beneath me, flexed out the stiffness from my fingers, and brought my hands to Dustin, petting him down his flanks. I figured a touch would be better at communicating what I felt than any words in my vocabulary.

In his first movement since our bodies united he slowly began to withdraw, imparting the odd shifting sensation as my passage walls reconfigured around absence rather than the presence of his solid girth. Deep nerves flashed unfamiliar signals as his details tickled me in reverse. Inch by inch of his length came back into view, all of which glistening with my wetness. Before I could react Dustin re-hilted me with a slow but affirmative motion. Not a thrust, but rather a subtle full body flex eased my twin's canine maleness back into me. His knot once again found its place between my parted labia and his cock-tip thrust indescribably deep.

I yelped soft and hushed, not out of pain, but out of some strange involuntary response. I could feel my fur tingle as if each follicle stood on end. My paws instinctively clasped bushels of his fur between my fingers and held on. His muscles tensed and eased beneath my hold. The motion repeated itself, slow and easy, my brother clearly not striving for instant gratification. I found myself slowly rocking, losing count of the motions, overwhelmed yet conscious. The individual sensations blurred into something greater, something pleasurable, something good.

Dustin leaned in and pressed a series of kisses along my neck, as if I needed any further reason to be excited. I found myself shivering, despite my brother's body heat radiating upon me, despite the warmth of his breath seeping down to my skin. I closed my eyes and lifted my muzzle closer to his. I felt our whiskers brush as I searched for his lips. I tasted his kiss and his inescapable scent, the scent of his end of the hallway and of his room, the over-familiar fragrance that subliminally informed me of when I stepped into his territory. Whether by choice or by some unspeakable compulsion I found myself in his domain, between his arms as the sole focus of his movement, and by all appearances, his desire.

I could feel my brother's movements gradually, almost imperceptibly, grow faster. I found myself heaving with him, slowly being pushed up the blanket. My body rose as if on instinct, meeting him in complete acceptance of that strange and new combination of sensations, the eerily powerful longing for that deep and increasingly pleasurable fullness. My paws renewed their hold with growing intensity, fingers curled into his fur, claws pressing down to the flesh. I didn't want to impede his motions, but somehow I couldn't help but grasp him with the strength of iron.

A deep and primal moan reverberated within our kiss. I let the pounding of his knot force a similar, albeit more effeminate, tone from within me. It would not be the only such moan triggered in that way. He broke off a moment later, breathing deep. His eyes wandered my body and then met mine. He beamed me a reassuring smile and nudged me with his nose. He seemed to have much more clarity than I thought I could muster, given the circumstances. I could tell his eyes were reading me, watching for the appearance of little signs that broadcast that this was too much, or that I was having second thoughts about committing incest. My brother was protecting me, even as he claimed my virginity.

As I lay on my back beneath Dustin on the faded blanket, my muzzle slightly agape from venting hushed little tones, I watched my brother make love to me. His face and his body rose and sank over mine, again and again, in ever more certain rhythm. I saw his muscles flex and my breasts heave in response to each body-rocking movement. The intensity, the sparks of pleasure, and the peculiarity of witnessing over-familiar shades and patterns of fur blur in such intimate motion compelled me into total complicity with that most taboo of taboo acts. What I lacked in experience I made up for by succumbing to my urges. Muscles flexed to satisfy those urges, lifting my frame to greet the countless knot strikes. I let me paws travel up his arms, feeling the firmness of his braced muscle. His body moved through my hands like a dynamic bundle of energy. My fingers sank into his mane and I held him tight, craving proximity even though my brother and I were closer in those moments than we'd ever been before.

Our gazes met and communicated a terrifying notion that more lay beneath our transgression than the quid pro quo for the eviction of that pesky little thing called my virginity. I redoubled my hold and clung to my sibling, recoiling or offering myself at newer angles, as the feeling his cock and the fullness of full blown sex became too much to bear. I didn't dare tell him to stop, even though the weird feeling of pressure returned, aggravated with each strike of his knot. Without noticing it at first, I guided him, showing him how to properly mate with me with an ever more firm grip and the subtle gyrations of my hips. Somehow, without language, I was able to instruct him what my limits were, what felt nice, and what felt fantastic. I found myself venting irrepressible tones, getting close, and closer. What I did was no act.

The fraction-of-a-second intervals became too long to wait for. I found myself pressing back at Dustin, raising my hips to meet his thrusts, eager to feel the authoritative push of my brother's knot against my sex. The rapid wet slaps of him pressing home dissipated through nature. I felt the muscles in my belly spasm in premonition of what would inevitably come. My passage flexed around my sibling's firm maleness as it swiftly and sensuously shoved apart my folds and marked my intimate depths in a slippery coat of harmless collie-pre. Those ever more frequent throbs of never before experienced intensity allowed me to feel his details push into my deepest corners. I could feel his canine point graze my bare walls ever so satisfyingly, like a subtle tickle along an unreachable itch. I don't know how to describe it. It felt as if every time his cock filled me to the brim and his knot bucked against my outer lips, he were passing on a tiny particle of pressure into a reservoir deep in my belly. I didn't know if it was right or wrong, but some instinct convinced me to see what the next seconds would bring.

The pressure within built, screaming for release. My every movement willed it closer. I clung to Dustin as if our flesh and fur were too vast a distance, bearing my body in eager acceptance of each intimate plunge, letting every womb-deep push inch me closer to the imminent fiery crescendo. Finally, after too long a moment of staring up at the forest canopy, panting, silently begging my brother not to stop or even slow down, it happened. Just one of Dustin's countless cycles caused a sudden snap, something slight, like a little drop of water too much for a vessel to bear. It sent me over the edge. Before I could calculate what was happening the trickle became a torrent, and I was overflowing with pleasure. Muscles within me began quivering, coaxing Dustin's pistioning shaft for his seed. I grunted, less than elegantly, and convulsed back into the quilt, letting the waves of pleasure pass over me like powerful tides.

Dustin's onslaught didn't relent in the slightest. He whispered something profane in midst of my climax, an "oh god" or "oh fuck;" I can't remember the exact turn of phrase since I was so lost within the flurry of movement and sensation. My hips arched up, eager to receive every slap of his knot, strangely acquiescent to the possibility that the temptation would be to great for Dustin to do anything other than ram home that final thrust, but he didn't. He made good on his promise and withdrew after he gave give me one or two more blissful bucks, slipping his cock free of my pussy before I had a chance to beg him to reconsider. A paw that had held me instantly moved to his shaft. A few last strokes traveled his slick length before fingers griped his knot and held tight. Dustin let out a deep grunt, another swearword, and released his held breath in shuddering pants. Through the corner of my distracted gaze I saw him grip his throbbing member, tugging forth bursts of cum. I felt the thick, warm spurts of my brother's semen land on my belly, weighing down my pubic fur in viscous lines. Its scent quickly reached my nostrils and its warmth my skin.

The vacancy he left immediately ached to be filled again. My pussy quivered on nothingness, a painful absence, like being torn from a dream too soon, a sobering, grounding reminder of reality. Without my brother's rapid thrusts and the neigh on unbearable fullness of his cock displacing me from within, my climax waned far sooner than I would have wished, dissipating into quivers further and further apart. My brother finished himself with a few more, less hasty tugs, milking the last drops of his thick white sperm onto the matted pubic fur around my sex.

I found myself panting, staring upward, past my brother's face, counting the numerous articles floating like shooting stars across my peripheral vision. I sank into the blanket beneath Dustin's body. The tendrils of common sense slowly came back to me, chasing away the disappointment, and giving me reason to be thankful of an averted crisis. As we came down off our orgasms and our sensitivity, we looked at each other and smiled. I was glad. Trust reaffirmed. My pussy felt stretched, gaping, and quite a bit sore from its first use. The outside air felt soothing between my legs, where a breeze cooled my wetness and Dustin's cum.

Our muzzles met a number of times, breaking occasionally to just catch our breaths. My paws let go of his flanks and pet the tousled fur flat. I even reached down and took hold of Dustin's cock, fingers wrapping around his still firm maleness and gave him a few slow, appreciative strokes, indifferent to the cum that got on my fingers. He felt warm, almost hot, and slick to the touch with a combination of our sensual fluids. I let my paw-pads caress all the inches that had been inside of me, and feel the canine details that had tickled me so deep. My touch aimed to reward the man and not just the appendage that had just made me a woman.

After a moment of panting Dustin rolled on his side and wrapped his arm around me, cupping my breast and pulling me close at the same time. I shifted on my side as well, matching the contours of his body. He squeezed me tight and pressed a kiss on the back of my neck, one that sent a shiver down my spine, one I'm sure he felt. Our legs crisscrossed at the foot of the blanket. I could barely remember a time where I felt so close to someone as I did then. Of course it was Dustin, when we shared a bed as cubs on the nights a summer thunderstorm got stuck in the valley, or one of us felt particularly alone. Our ears perked to the sound of each other's breathing, to the birdsong around us, and to the ailing drone of the last cicada of the season. I wiggled my butt as close to Dustin as possible. Never could I have imaged that that puppy would grow up and become my first.

"Did I just have sex?" I asked myself, still in substantial disbelief.

"Yea," curtly replied the voice inside my head, as if pointing out the most obvious thing in the world.

It sunk in how far we actually went only as our bodies cooled and my mind became free of stimulus to ponder what our eagerness had wrought. I no longer had my virginity to give away. That part of me was gone for good. I could almost sense that little metaphorical piece of myself flutter away like a butterfly, and I wasn't sure if I should feel glad or remorse. Would my brother appreciate the gift that I had just given him, or would he just pin it into a glass case of achievements where my sacrifice lost its meaning? Moreover I had actually just etched incest into my life's permanent record. I could deny the deed, lord knows I would have to, but nothing I could do would undo it. I was one of them now; the rumored inhabitants of those trailers far off the main road up in the hills, the places our dad explicitly forbade us to even go near.

I felt as if though I'd been doused in water, my whole body soaked to the skin. All I had on me was a bit of wetness localized around my sex and between my thighs plus the few teaspoons of semen absorbed in my belly-fur. It seemed to overlap with that odd sensation in my tummy, the hollowness I felt whenever I'd some something wrong and knew that it would only be a matter of time before my crime made it to the ears of my older brothers, my father, my principal, whoever had the most jurisdiction over my transgression. Did I need to feel the way I did? It couldn't have been more consensual. We were adults. All prophylactic measures we had access to have been employed, so the consequences were limited to how he and I felt about our little experimentation with full blown incest.

"Should we have done this?" I said, more thinking aloud than expecting an answer.

"You having regrets?" Dustin asked in return.

I thought for a moment and paused. "I don't know," I eventually said with an intonation as if stumped by a very difficult question.

Dustin's paw left my breast and followed my flank to my shoulder, and from there down my arm. His paw came to rest over mine. I didn't immediately react, instead I just let his rest there, not dissuading, not participating.

"I don't think I mind the fact that I'm not, you know, any more, even though it's kind of a big deal for me. I'm more concerned about if this," I said, turning my muzzle down to his paw and gazing upon how his fingers caressed mine, "is right? Shouldn't we have something against this?"

He didn't have a quick reply for me either. I'm sure he was thinking the same thing as me, but didn't want to shoot his chances of this becoming a recurring event in the foot.

"Where is this gonna go?" I asked, bringing up the most painful question. "Right now it's just for fun, right? Practice. But what if we don't find anyone else? What if we don't want to stop?"

He shrugged. "Is that so bad?"

"Yea!," I said. "This can't be real! There is no way we can hide this in the long term! Even if it feels right, the world is just," I paused, thinking of the right words, "... not accepting of this. We're perverts. That's all."

"I think we can make it work, at least for a while longer. At least keep it open, until you find someone."

"Name a single couple you know who made this work?" When no reply came I continued. "No one. You don't even know of a single couple who is even in this situation. And if you have, you know that it ended tragically. Police involved. Family shattered. Inbred cubs taken away by the state. Community in disgust. Need I say more?"

"You made your point," he said, slipping away from me. His paw caressed my bare breast and belly in a slow and wistful pass while he drew away, as if this would be the last time he were free to see me naked and so permissive. I let him without objection, feeling sorry for him because I knew that needed to be the case for our own good. He rolled over onto his back and faced the canopy of trees. I immediately felt cold without him against me.

"Sis," he continued, "I really like how close we've become. I mean, you've grown up into an awesome girl. I never really thought that this could happen. Even if you don't want to do this anymore I really want to stay friends. I still need your help and I'll even try for college if you really think I can make it, but I can't do it without you."

"I'd love to be your friend and I always will be. That's why I'm saying all this. You will always be my brother, nothing can change that. Consider if, god forbid, we fell in love. What would happen? I don't want to lose you that way. This can't happen for so many reasons."

Dustin leaned in for a kiss, but I turned him away. Instead his lips found my neck, which I let him have. He lay watching me, his paw reaching out and caressed my nudity, fixing the fur that our first time tousled out of order, doing the best damage control he could think of. "I love you, sis," he whispered and wisely held his tongue before he could say anything else.

His words put a crack in my façade. I felt myself buckling, saw the tears blur my vision, but I swallowed that urge and straightened myself out. I wanted to hold Dustin and be held by him. I needed the strength he would lend me without asking anything in return. I wished we could turn back the clock so it would be okay again to crawl back against his body and lose myself in his scents, but all the things that would have comforted me and lay at my fingertips, would have just made things worse. "I love you too, Dusty," I said with sincerity.

We were well past our cut-off point of sunset when we ventured away from our spot. We got up and dressed without speaking. I stood tall on the way home, compensating for my loss of virginity by radiating a sort of confidence I associated with the women I admired. It was just an act, but one that made me strong and helped me delay all the convoluted thoughts and emotions to a time where I could be alone. My mind couldn't let go of what happened. The images etched to memory and surfaced every other moment. Thoughts gathered and swarmed alongside them to the point the present felt as distant as the childhood I left behind.

One of these days, I knew I'd go to bed with someone. I'd known that for nearly as long as I knew what sex was. I wanted it to be soon, if only I'd met the right person, someone I just hadn't been introduced to yet. It certainly would not have been anyone from school, maybe someone from college or perhaps someone from another state altogether. He will be someone funny and charming, strong and interesting, the usual criteria. He would treat me well. Buy me things. Compliment my looks. After three to five dates I would go to bed with him. Then who knows. Statistically he wouldn't have been the one. After his conquest he might lose interest in me, like what happened to so many of my friends. Maybe then or shortly thereafter, we realize that we just weren't made for each other, and we'll part ways. In a best case scenario we'll stay together for seven years, ten years, then fall apart because who really stays with their first relationship? Would I have thrown my virginity away had it followed that course?

I did love my brother. I always had, but that had been the obligatory love one has for one's family, something quite different from the dynamic roller-coaster of romantic love. Now things started to overlap and blur beyond my control. Dustin would always be my sibling. Even if we went through with it again and a hundred times after that, only to part ways fully cognizant that every time was an abominable mistake, he would stay my brother. Perhaps that was reason enough to let him be my first. There was something attractive about that; permanence. That certain something made him far more attractive than the Mr. Hypothetical who would eventually come, and certainly go. Dustin was my first and I would always remember him for it. To call what I felt confusion would be a severe understatement.