Babby's First Date!
Valleyview Apartments was only about a ten minute drive away from my house, but that was still enough time for me to start daydreaming about my date with Daren (not that you should be daydreaming while you're driving, kids, you could run somebody...
Whaddayou Mean The Sex Was Bad?!
You know, I never realized just how awesome sex was until I had it for the first time. It was absolutely incredible; kind of like jacking off, only the guy you're fucking's asshole is doing it for you! Wait, actually that was probably the worst analogy...
You Want Us To Do What Now?
"Good morning gentlemen. I presume you were not followed here?" Scott asked as his two friends, Chris and Jayce, entered the dimly-lit stank cesspool that was their school's old abandoned janitor's closet. It was so jam-packed that when the iguana and...
Clueless season 2: Bropocalypse (Homecoming out part 4)
Football practice sucked ass today. It was the maraschino cherry on top of the shit sandwich that was the past 6 hours of my life_._ The thing was, we spent so much time going over tactics and playcalling (or should I say, listening to Coach and Jayce...
Man, F*ck Your Friend Zone!
You know, I was really surprised at just how awkward the next few weeks were when I was around Daren (though it wasn't as if my entire life wasn't already one big blob of awkward). Not that it was his fault or anything, but here's the thing: in all the...
Guy Talk
So... Friday... the day that nobody could take seriously after Raybecca Black released that horrible titular song that shat on the internet. That considered, I suppose Friday was a fitting day for my life to end up shitting itself so hard its bowels...
Clueless S2Ch2 Love to Run, Run to Love Part1
It was fourth period, AP history, 5 minutes before the bell for lunch would sound off its sweet sweet ring of freedom. The room was lively with a mix of confused discussions and unrelated chatter now that the class' lecture was good and done. As usual...
Clueless Season 2: Homecoming out Part 11
Homecoming seemed to turn my world upside down. In the boisterous dark rainbow space of the gymnasium, I witnessed gay couples kissing, drag queen performances, rainbow colors abound, words like 'kaikai' and 'yaaas queen' being thrown around like...
Clueless Chapter 24: When it Squirts it Flows
Something weird was _definitely_ going on... I was watching T.V in the living room at... some time of day? It the most unbelievably amazing match ever: Cleveland Browns vs the Packers, and it was a damn close match! The score was... 11 x 65 to...
Clueless ch18: *Pretend* to be gay, suuuure
...Oh okay, it was just Marty. He was probably the last person in the school to actually care about a little verbal ejaculation. Looks like I nearly shat myself for nothing. Now that I'm not internally panicking, I guess I should introduce him, huh?...
Clueless Season Two: Black vs Pink (Homecoming-out Part 7)
_Back to our regular scheduled programming_ Exhausted from my manic dancing, there I stood sweating and panting on the football field, the setting autumn sun adorning me with a shadow tens of yards long. Standing there in a dull haze, I almost laughed...
What Really Matters
From that rainy day forward thoughts of Sensei dominated my mind, and I soon became infatuated with the awkward and aloof Shiba Inu. Suddenly, the image a man who I once thought of as nothing but cute and amusing became something of carnality, and...