Friends Old and New
#3 of Loose Threads
Chuck meets up with some old friends to plan a healing trip.
A warm late spring breeze teased the curtain, flowing across the border collie's chest. Summer was soon to arrive, his last summer before finishing college, and his mind was afire.
It had been a little over twelve years since that fateful night that he and his mother had begun their cross-country odyssey. Where his mother had ended up, Chuck didn't know. They had moved in with a friend of hers from high school who had been kind enough to take her in. But it was hardly a happily ever after. Just three years later, his mom was arrested, an event burned into the border collie's mind. If it hadn't been for his adoptive dad Isaac, he would have been left utterly alone in the world.
Well, maybe not completely alone. The bat in bed next to him stirred, her arm slipping across his chest in one of her many sleepy embraces. Chuck smiled and took hold of her paw. From the corner of his eye he saw her mouth curl up into a smile. It was such a relief that his adoptive dad was okay with his girlfriend sleeping over. He knew his adoptive mom wasn't a fan, but she had reluctantly gone along with it. Besides, Tanya was a very quiet, respectful girl.
He reached over and brushed a paw against her cheek. Slowly her eyes opened, her smile widening as their gazes met.
"Morning, love," she whispered.
Chuck grinned and rubbed his nose against Tanya's. "Morning, sweetheart." They embraced, and each laid a kiss on the other's cheek.
In the four years they had been dating, they had done little more. While they slept together nude many nights, they had never once engaged in sexual intimacy. But they were perfectly content with each other, two asexual lovers who reveled in cuddles and quiet moments, but needed little else physically from their partners.
"How'd you sleep?" Tanya whispered.
Chuck squeezed her paw and sighed. "Good. Any night's better when I get to wake up next to you."
Tanya giggled softly and nuzzled his cheek. "Oh you." She gave him a little squeeze and sighed happily. "I know what you mean, though. I feel the same way." They grinned. "I'm glad the nightmares are getting less frequent."
A sad smile crossed the border collie's face. "It helps having a therapist to talk to and a lovely, supportive partner." He nuzzled into her, earning another giggle from the bat as he gave her neck a gentle lick. "I love you, Tanya."
"I love you, too, my sweet puppy," she whispered.
Chuck couldn't help but to chuckle. It never failed to put a smile on his face when she called him her puppy. They shared one more quick nose nuzzle, then slipped out of bed.
The two fell into their morning routine. Tanya pulled on a bathrobe then went down the hall to shower. Chuck made the bed, then sat on the floor and did his morning meditation. When Tanya returned from the bathroom, he got up, pulled on his own robe, and showered. At seven, he and Tanya went down to the kitchen for breakfast.
When he arrived, his dad was seated at the kitchen table. The gray cat was scrolling with his thumb on his smart phone in one paw and holding his morning coffee in the other. He looked up when Chuck and his partner entered.
"Morning, son," Isaac said.
"Morning, dad," Chuck replied. He walked around the table and gave him a quick hug. "Where's mom?"
The feline stretched, working a paw absentmindedly through his gray headfur. "Laundry room. Your little sister wet the bed last night, so she's running some sheets."
The canine shook his head as he pulled a bowl down from the cabinet. "Poor girl." He poured himself a bowl of cereal while Tanya pulled a selection of fruit from the fridge.
"How's work been?" Tanya asked as she prepared her fruit salad.
"Oh, busy as usual," Isaac said. "It's Lyme season, so we're getting swamped with tests, and of course the machines are breaking down right when we need them most." He grumbled, then got up from his seat and drained the last of his coffee from his mug. "I need to get going." He gave his son and his girlfriend quick hugs, then rushed out the door.
Chuck and Tanya seated themselves at the table and quietly ate their breakfasts. As they were finishing up, his four year old sister toddled in. The little weasel girl was wearing her favorite green nightgown, her beloved bunny plush dragging on the floor beside her, its arm held in her paw.
Tanya beamed as the little one walked in. "Morning, Molly!"
"Morneeng Tana!" she said. The little weasel pup perked up seeing her brother and his girlfriend, and ran up to each of them, giving them hugs.
Chuck laughed and kissed the top of his sister's head. "Hey, sis. Sleep well?"
"Uh huh," she said, grinning widely at her brother. "Buh I wetted the bed again. Mommy had to clean it up. She said I might need pullups again but that's okay 'cause I like 'em. They're comfy. The potty is stupid."
"I wouldn't call the potty stupid," Chuck said. "Don't you want to be a big girl?"
The little weasel shrugged. "I dunno. Maybes? Then I could drive a car and go to bed whenever I wanted and eat all the cookies I want!"
Tanya giggled and shook her head. "Molly, sweetie, that's not what being an adult is about."
"Well, it should be!" the girl said simply. "I'm hungy. I want toast."
"If you say the magic word, I can make it for you," Chuck said.
"Oh! Um, pease?" Molly said.
Chuck grinned and pet his sister's head. "Sure thing, sis." As he got up from his seat, his adoptive mother walked in. "Morning, mom."
The elder weasel walked up to Chuck and kissed his cheek, muttering a greeting. Her robe was half-open, her eyes half closed, and her headfur was a mess. She flopped into a free chair by the table.
"Morning, Lillian," Tanya said.
"Mommy, Chuckie's makin' me brekkies!" Molly said. "He's gonna make me toas! Can I haff strawberry jellies on it? Strawberry's my favorite."
The harried elder weasel looked gratefully at her son as he prepared breakfast for her kit. "Thank you, Chuck. You're a life saver."
The border collie's tail wagged. "My pleasure, mom."
Once he got his sister set up with her breakfast, Chuck slipped out for a morning walk with Tanya. They walked paw in paw down the road, starting off in silence, just enjoying each others' presence and company.
After a few minutes, Tanya squeezed his paw. "There something on your mind, love? You look contemplative."
A soft sigh escaped the canine. "I've been thinking a lot lately... about a lot of things."
Tanya leaned into him gently. "Anything you're willing to share?"
Chuck took a deep breath. It was still difficult to talk about his past even after ten years of therapy. "I want to go to Arizona."
The bat looked up into his eyes. "Why Arizona, of all places?"
The collie bit his lip. "Remember how I told you about my bio dad, and the... things... he did to me?"
A shiver ran down both of their spines. It was difficult for both of them to talk about Chuck's abuse at the paws of his father, but they both knew it was important for him to process those feelings to heal.
"I remember," Tanya said. "Is that where you lived? When it happened?"
Chuck nodded. "I think I'd like to go back... get a sense of closure with it."
Tanya stopped and hugged the collie. A single tear slid down her cheek. "Alright. Did you have any idea when?"
"This summer," Chuck said. "I haven't really made any solid plans. But I'd like you to come with me."
She nodded and looked into his eyes. "Anything you need, love." Their noses touched, and they both took deep breaths. A few tears rolled down Chuck's cheeks, but he took Tanya's paw and continued walking.
They walked on in silence for a couple minutes, until Chuck found the nerve to continue. "I was thinking I'd ask Robbie to come along, too," Chuck said. "He was... the first fur I ever told. We don't see each other as much as I'd like anymore, but he's still important to me. And I'd like to have him there."
Tanya nodded. "I understand. Maybe we can give him a call this afternoon." She stared ahead as they walked. "Is there anyone else you'd like on this trip?"
The canine shrugged. "I don't know. I don't want a lot of furs with me. Just those who are very close, and very important to me. It's why I want you with me."
A soft giggle reached his ears from the bat. It had taken years for Chuck to disclose to her what had happened to him in his youth, and they had cried together for hours afterwards. But it had brought them closer. After that, she had been his best friend and confidant. All of his joys and pains, he shared with her, and she with him.
"Are you okay with all of that?" Chuck asked.
The bat grinned. "Of course. You know I'll support you in any way I can. And if this is what you need to heal, I'll be with you every step of the way."
Chuck laughed and cupped his arm around Tanya's waist. "I'm lucky to have you in my life you know."
She smiled and kissed his cheek. "I'm the lucky one. Love you."
"Love you, too," Chuck said.
*************
That very afternoon, Chuck found himself heading into Boston. Robbie had asked to bring his boyfriend, but had acquiesced to Chuck's desire to meet with him solo, or at least as solo when Tanya was along. She held his paw as they rode the orange line into the city. His heart ached for the days that he lived closer to his friends, but moving to Malden had been sensible for his dad in the last couple years, and Chuck was hardly in a position to refuse.
His anxiety always flared on the subway, especially when the train went underground. Thankfully, Tanya always carried a dose of his anxiety meds in her purse on their outings as a just in case. She leaned against him in their seat, whispering reassuring nothings to him as the train passed station after station. When it reached their destination, Tanya squeezed his paw and led him through the station to the city above.
It was a great relief when they were finally above ground again, even if Downtown Crossing was always buzzing with furs. The crowds Chuck could deal with. Underground, not so much. His mood was significantly brighter as he and Tanya made their way into the Common. The fresh air and sunshine was a welcome contrast with the stale air and harsh electric lighting of the subway station. They made their way through the shopping district and across the street, making for the spot near the Statehouse where Robbie had agreed to meet them.
Robbie spotted them immediately as they approached. He raised a paw in greeting, getting up from the bench where he had taken a seat, and shook paws with the border collie and his girlfriend. They exchanged quick greetings.
Chuck wagged his tail and swallowed a lump in his throat. "So, how about we grab some food and find somewhere quiet?"
A few food trucks had set up nearby, and the three descended, each visiting a different truck for a meal of their choice. When they had obtained their lunch, they retreated to the shade of a tree to chat.
"Been a while since I've seen you," Robbie said. "How've you been?"
Chuck took a bite of his falafel and shrugged. "I've been alright. Keeping the grades up in college. Still together with Tanya, obviously. Making good progress in therapy. You?"
The fox leaned against the tree. "Life's been... interesting. I started dating someone a couple months ago. He's super sweet. We've been friends since we started college together, and now we've gone from roommates to... regular mates." He chuckled. "Garrett's a sweetheart. I do hope you'll let me bring him along for one of our lunch dates."
Chuck wiggled a little. "Yeah, I'd like that." He stared at his food, his appetite starting to evaporate. He forced himself to take another bite before continuing. "But, uh... first... there's something important I wanted to talk to you about."
"I figured, from your tone," Robbie said. He took a bite from his banh mi, his eyes focused on the border collie. "What's up?"
The canine took a breath. Tanya wrapped her arm around his and gave his paw a reassuring pat. "I'd... like to take a trip to Arizona," Chuck said.
The fox's ears perked. "Arizona, huh?" His tone told the canine that he didn't need to explain why.
Chuck nodded. "Was thinking a... a road trip."
Robbie nodded. "Looking for company along the way?"
"S-something like that," Chuck said. He sighed, then leaned in. "I want to visit my old apartment... get some closure..."
"I getcha," Robbie said. He looked off into the distance, his eyes unfocused. "If you think you're ready to face that, I'll be happy to go along with you."
Chuck smiled. "Thanks." He leaned over and nuzzled the fox's shoulder. "I figured it might be best to have as much emotional support for this as I can get, if that's not too big of an ask."
"Of course it's not too much," Robbie said. "I'll be happy to go along with you." He put an arm around the border collie and gave him a hug. "Hell, I'll understand if you'd prefer that Garrett not come along for that." He scarfed down the rest of his sandwich, then looked at Chuck. "Was it just the old apartment, or..."
The border collie shivered and set his half-eaten meal down in the grass in front of him. "I want to find his grave."
Robbie nodded solemnly. "Understood. Request?"
Chuck's ears flicked. "Shoot."
"May I piss on his grave?"
Chuck and his girlfriend both snorted.
"Me first," Chuck said.
Robbie grinned and offered a paw. "Deal."
"So, I was hoping we could do it this summer... maybe August?" Chuck said.
"Can do," Robbie said. "We can take my car, if you want. It's in good condition. Should hold up to a cross country drive just fine."
Chuck smiled. "You don't have to do that," he said.
"You still driving that old Ford?" Robbie asked. The collie nodded. "Then we're DEFINITELY taking my car!" Robbie said. "It's not an issue at all."
"We really appreciate it," Tanya said, squeezing Chuck's paw. She knew just how to quiet him down. "Thank you."
"Of course," Robbie said. "We'll probably need a budget for gas and hotel stays along the way. I don't mind pitching in there. I've got a fair bit saved up from my bar tending job."
The canine's eyes bulged. "Robbie, I can't ask you for that," he muttered.
"You didn't ask," Robbie replied. "I offered, and I mean it."
"We'll pay you back when we can," Tanya said. "And don't you try to argue with me on that," she warned, giving the fox a wink.
Robbie put his paws up and laughed. "I know better than that, Tanya! That's a fight I know I won't win." He looked over at her. "Do you think he's ready for this, though?"
The bat and the collie exchanged glances. "I honestly don't know," Tanya said. "But he thinks he is, and I trust him. And I'll be at his side the whole time."
A shiver ran down the collie's spine. He knew this was a huge decision to make, and a huge trip. Truth be told, he wasn't even sure if he was ready for this. But he didn't want to keep running from his past. He had to face it.
Both of his paws were squeezed, one by Tanya, the other by Robbie. He must have spaced out again. He had a bad habit of doing that. Another of the symptoms of his anxiety. The collie sighed and leaned back, closing his eyes.
"I'm glad I have friends like you, Robbie," Chuck muttered. "And the best damn girlfriend in the world."
He squeaked when he felt a paw boop his nose.
"You don't have to flatter me," Tanya whispered.
"Ah, but I don't have to NOT flatter you," Chuck replied, leaning in and giving her a quick peck on the cheek.
Robbie chuckled. "You two are a really cute couple, you know," he said.
"Thanks," Tanya said, beaming at him. "We should meet your boyfriend before our trip."
"Anytime," Robbie said. "Hell, I could give him a call now if you wanted. He and Martin are out and about in the city themselves. When I told Garrett I was heading into the city, he really wanted to come, and Martin offered to show him around."
Chuck felt his heart drop. It made sense that his boyfriend had come into the city, and at least Robbie had still come to their meeting alone. He took a breath. It couldn't hurt to meet him, too. "Yeah, see if he'd like to swing by the Common."
The fox pulled out his phone and sent off a text. A minute later, he looked up. "I guess they're at the Public Garden right now. They're heading up this way now. Shouldn't take them long."
The collie took a few slow breaths. Meeting new furs was always a little difficult for him. He just needed to keep his cool.
Tanya squeezed his paw. "Do you need your lorazepam?" she whispered.
He nodded. She reached into her purse and pulled out a small pill container, then took out a little white pill. She handed it to him along with a bottle of water. Chuck took both, popped the pill into his mouth, and took a long swig of water. Down went the medicine. It should be kicking in by the time Robbie's boyfriend showed up.
Once he'd taken his pill, Robbie patted his knee. "It'll be okay, Chuck. Garrett's a pretty chill guy. I think you'll like him."
Sure enough, by the time the wolf and the ferret arrived, Chuck's meds had kicked in, bringing him the sense of having had a nice, cold shower. He felt much calmer, and even rose to greet the two.
"Hello!" Chuck called.
"Chuck, my dude!" Martin cried. He ran the last few steps up to the collie and hugged him. "How've you been?"
"Oh, you know, the usual. College. Tanya and I more or less live together now," Chuck said.
The wolf's tail drooped, but he kept a forced smile on his muzzle. "Good for you two. Glad things are going well." He slipped past the collie and gave the bat a hug, then sat down in the grass near her. "Good to see you too, Tanya."
The bat giggled. "Likewise, Marty."
That just left the ferret. Robbie got to his feet and put an arm around him. "So, Chuck, this is Garrett, my boyfriend. Garrett, meet Chuck and his girlfriend, Tanya. They're both old friends of mine."
The ferret held out a paw. "Pleasure to meet you," he said.
Chuck took his paw and shook it. "Nice to meet you, too," he said.
The group sat down in the shade of the tree and looked around.
"Is it okay if I tell them?" Robbie asked after a moment.
The collie whimpered softly and lowered his ears. "Guess it'd be better to do it now..."
The fox nodded and looked at the wolf and ferret. "So Chuck, Tanya, and I are going to take a road trip this August, down to Arizona."
"Arizona?!" Garrett said. "Damn, that's a hell of a drive. What's the draw for Arizona? Looking for adventure?"
"Not exactly," Robbie said. "It's more a... therapy trip for Chuck here." He patted the collie on the shoulder.
The wolf seemed to pick up on it quick. "And you weren't planning on doing this without me, were you, Chuckie?"
"W-well," Chuck said, "I... I don't really want a huge group with me... and I'm already imposing on Robbie..."
Martin looked skeptical. "And what exactly are you planning?"
"He wants to visit his old apartment," Robbie supplied.
"And find his dad's grave," Tanya said.
Martin scoffed. "Oh, then like hell you're leaving me behind. I owe that guy's grave a good pissing on."
"Whoa whoa whoa, back up a second," Garrett said. "Now, I'm not exactly one for upholding respect for the dead, by why do you want to piss on his dad's grave?"
The fox, the wolf, and the bat all turned to Chuck. Garrett looked between all of them.
"I can tell him," Robbie said. "But only if you're okay with it."
The collie took a breath and squeezed his eyes shut. "My dad was a piece of shit and raped me when I was young... my mom finally got out of there when I was nine, but I had to endure his abuse for years..."
He felt two bodies snuggling in close. One he recognized very clearly as Tanya's. The other must have been Robbie.
"Okay, fair," Garrett said. "I'd piss on his grave too. Hell, I can't wait for my parents to die so I can piss on their graves. Fucking homophobes."
Martin chuckled mirthlessly. "Maybe we can swing by Texas and piss on my dad's grave while we're at it. I can ask my brother where the fuck's buried."
"Wait, you have a brother?" Garrett said.
The collie shuddered. He remembered when Martin had been kicked out of his house and taken in by a friend of Robbie's family. It was around that time that his mom had been arrested for the murder of his father. Both of their families had broken at the same time. If Isaac hadn't adopted him a few months prior, he would've ended up in foster care. Instead, he had some sense of stability, even if he'd had his mom ripped away from him.
His dad had spent a lot of time with Martin's dads and with Robbie's parents after that, at least until Isaac met Lillian. Isaac had told them later that he wouldn't have made it as a single parent without their help. He'd spent a lot of time with his friends during the trial, especially with Robbie and Tanya, though he'd spent more than a few nights with Martin and his new dads. It had been messy. He'd cried himself to sleep almost every night, but between his friends and his dad, he was never truly alone.
Even though his mom had been acquitted, she was never the same after that. The trial took nearly three years, and she was incarcerated for the entire time. Afterward her acquittal, she disappeared. Chuck hadn't heard from his mom since her last phone call two days before the jury's ruling. His dad hadn't heard from her, either. No one they knew could find a trace of her. It was like she vanished into thin air after she walked out of that Arizona court room.
At the edges of his consciousness, Chuck could make out Martin's voice indistinctly. He must have been relating his family history to Garrett. He opened his eyes and looked around.
It was still a bright, sunny day in Boston. The park was full of furs walking, playing games, having fun. And here, underneath the shade of an elm tree, were Chuck and his friends, sharing stories about their pasts.
"Martin?" Chuck said.
The wolf cut off his story and looked at the collie. "Huh? Yeah, Chuck?"
"I... I want you to come with us," he said. He smiled weakly. "If you want, we can even pay your dad a visit."
Martin smirked. "It's gonna be a long trip. But I'm down if you are."
Chuck extended a paw to Martin. "Let's do it." They shook on it.
Garrett leaned back on his paws. "Guess I'll stick around home," he said. "Your mom DID say I was welcome to stay," he said to Robbie, giving the fox a little nudge.
"Yeah, I'm sure she won't mind," Robbie said. "Especially once we explain the situation."
"Or you could come with us," Chuck said. "You're important to Robbie. I wouldn't want to make him leave his partner behind." He squeezed Tanya's paw. "I couldn't bear to be away from Tanya for that long."
Garrett chuckled. "I appreciate it, but it sounds like this is a fursonal journey and I have no part in it."
"It's a little too soon to be saying that," Martin said. "You know damn fucking well that I'm interested in you, too. What if I want you there for me, huh?"
The collie raised an eyebrow. "I thought he was Robbie's boyfriend."
"We're open and polyamorous," Robbie said. "And yeah, we're considering bringing Martin into our relationship. But that's contingent on him playing safe when he's not with us."
"Hey, the only action I've had is my paw for the last three months!" Martin said defensively. "Well, except for one guy, but we used condoms, I swear!"
"You fucking better have," Garrett said.
"I swear on my dick that I wrapped it," Martin said.
There was some tension in the air between the males. Chuck scooted a little closer to Tanya.
Robbie cleared his throat. "It might not be a bad idea to bring Garrett along. It can be a bonding experience for all of us, if you don't mind going on a little adventure."
The ferret turned his attention back to Robbie and Chuck. "Are you sure? I wouldn't want to intrude."
Chuck's ears perked up. "Come with us," he said. "We'll figure it out."
Tanya giggled softly. "So two of you have a purpose for this trip," she said.
"Three," Robbie said. "Chuck and Martin are very much parts of my life. I'm in it for them. I might've had a great family growing up, but I wouldn't be who I am without them in my life."
"Four," Garrett said. "I'm in it for my boys. And that can include you, Chuck. Any friend of my partners is a friend of mine."
The bat sighed, then smiled at the males. "Five. Chuckie is very important to me, obviously, but so are you, Robbie."
A little twinge pulled on Chuck's heart. He had almost forgotten that Tanya's first kiss had been with Robbie, years before the two of them decided to date. It wasn't so much jealousy, as simply a longing to have had the courage to be her first kiss. But he had her now, and that was what mattered.
Robbie put his paw out between the five. "Alright, all five of us, on an adventure to reckon with our pasts, and lay out the course for our future, whatever it may hold."
Martin reached into the circle and put his paw on Robbie's. "To closing the page on an old chapter, and starting the next."
Tanya threw hers in third. "To heal the scars that still linger."
Garrett's paw came next. "To harden the bonds of friendship between us."
They all looked at Chuck. He extended a trembling paw and put it on top of theirs. "To leave the past in the past, and walk boldly ahead. Though the road may be long, we walk it together."
Their paws shook, clasped together for a few moments. Then they withdrew. Silence descended over them. A palpable sense of significance spread over them. While none could predict what they might find or where their road may take them, they knew that they were taking it together.