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The orc guards looked at each other and grunted quizzically. They did not lower their weapons. Anar stayed absolutely still in his seat, a bead of sweat making its way down his brow, and his hands slowly began moving back towards the steering wheel. If he had to, he would scarper without any hesitation and not look back. If he got into reverse in time that is. He'd managed to miss a few gears simply driving forwards in a straight line.

Eventually one of the hulking orcs spoke, "Boss Chief said he was expecting a dragon. You's a funny lookin' dragon."

No arguments there. "I come on behalf of a dragon. They couldn't make it. Are you going to let me in, or...?" He hoped it wasn't 'or'.

"Hmm, have you brought any gifts with you?"

"Yeah," the other piped up, "what have you's got for us?"

Now this was looking hopeful, bribery was easy! Back in the Underworld you really didn't get anything for free. Anar reached over to his rucksack - otherwise known as The Bag - and flipped it open. Beady eyes watched his every move.

"But of course I come bearing gifts..." he smiled. Having sharp pointy blades hovering in front of his face made it rather difficult to concentrate however, and so instead of putting his hand inside, and drawing out from the otherworldly dimension contained within some wondrous items of rarity, he instead pulled out Rave's half-eaten bag of Haribo Starmix. Unpeturbed, he offered the armoured orc sentries sweets and hoped to goodness that he didn't get his curiously-shaped head lopped off.

The rustle of the packet, the bright unnatural colours and the sickly sugary aroma grabbed their full attention, and battle axes were swiftly lowered as the alien race got their first taste of Earth pick-n-mix. The gathered crowd began jostling to get a closer look and Anar wasted no time pulling more bags of treats successfully from his rucksack, and he lobbed them out to the crowd where a fight started up over them. It was like feeding the goats at a petting zoo. He was waved through the wooden gate as an honoured guest with plenty of bows and happy chewing faces.

The Boss Chief's cosy stone hut was decorated with swags of dyed cloth hanging from the roof and there was an assortment of exotic-looking skulls on poles thrust into the ground beside it outside. They didn't have electricity, nor plumbed heating or air conditioning. What they did have was an abundance of sharp, pointy things. On every wooden table he could see, on every workbench around the compound, was a blade or the makings of one.

Anar was led inside the central building and here, too, was a fine display of weaponry hanging about the inner walls and laid around the Chief's chair. The Boss Chief himself was a solid mass of an orc man, wrapped in furs and leather strapping, here and there the bright gleam of precious stones studded into his outfit. He had a square jaw, thick ivory tusks, and a nose almost as big as the aardvark's which was pretty impressive.

The two leaders nodded respectfully to each other and Anar took a steady breath, "Boss Chief Grunthror, thank you for accepting the offer of this meeting from The Dragon. I am his General and most senior officer, Anarchy Warlock. We wish to extend invitation for your people to join our ranks in the Kaos Army and aid us in waging war across the realms."

"The Dragon said you had big powerful machines. He said we could crush our enemies into dust. Is this true?"

Anar thought to the tanks lined up back at headquarters, "yes, we have weapons of war and destruction that you could only dream about."

The orc leader rubbed his strong chin, "I likes the sound of that. We have been having trouble with other tribes and I'd like to ground them into paste."

Anar's ears flickered, he couldn't exactly tell Grunthror that the big plan was to have all the warring factions together under one flag... "any other tribes that are causing you difficulties will no longer be a problem I assure you. The Kaos Army will not only take and train your most willing and able, we will also provide some protection for your settlement. Would you like to see what we can do?"

The Boss Chief's shoulders settled back, and his head lifted, proudly. "I always choose actions over words," he growled, "show me what you got!"

The orc villagers had finished eating all the sweets and were more than happy to watch the weird grey talking animal as he pulled curious objects from his bag, and gave careful instructions to the gate guards, who were nodding and lumbering about collecting up the training dummies that the weapon smiths tested their metalwork with. Life in this rural village was mundane and dull, (unless they were being raided), and this was a welcome diversion to collecting ore or hacking down trees. Even the children were sat nicely and not being nuisances for five minutes.

Anar knew that he had to very careful here, it was one thing to show off and amaze his audience, quite another to end up in the Boss Chief's bad books for actually killing someone. So, he'd decided to use inanimate objects for his practical demonstration. One of the guards he'd had the earlier encounter with was hopped up on E numbers and was almost champing at the bit to help out in some way, which was useful. He had therefore given him some nice, straightforward orders to follow as all in all they seemed a simple bunch. He was finally ready to start.

"Allow me to introduce myself; I am General Warlock of the Kaos Army, and I am here to offer you the chance of being highly-trained soldiers: warriors of a standard never seen before, with weaponry from beyond the stars, capable of destruction and annihilation far beyond anything you could imagine." He gestured to one of the training dummies - lumps of sack-cloth filled with sawdust, "you've no doubt discovered the limitations of swords and axes, the inevitable notches and the blunt dull edges, not to mention the risks that come with close-range combat," he watched as heads began to nod and a few murmurs began to roll out in agreement. "The things I am about to show you have none of those drawbacks..."

With a nod, his excited helper sprinted at his signal towards one of the dummy targets, swinging his sturdy axe for a heavy blow.

Anar pulled a semi-automatic rifle from his table pile, set it firm against his shoulder and let it rip. Before the orc could bring down his axe for the killing cleave, the air was filled with gunshots and dust and the dummy had been rendered in two.

The crowd, including Grunthror, cried out in alarm and ducked for cover, hands covering their ears at the incredible noise that their guest was somehow making.

"Now I know what you're thinking," Anar continued, beckoning his awestruck helper back to him, "it's only a straw target; what if they've got armour on? Let's see, shall we?"

The adjacent training dummy had metal plating covering its chest protectively and the crowd slowly edged back to their places again, hands still covering ears, to watch what would happen next.

The orc threw his trusty axe as hard as he could and the blade lodged itself in the thick metal plating.

Eyes swung to the General who picked up a different strange weapon this time, slid back a shiny panel with a 'thunk', and proceeded to blast a hole large enough to throw an apple through from front to back of the poor defenceless mannequin. The armour was melted and dripping to the floor in a puddle. That was the laser blaster. It was a very impressive weapon, but they didn't know how to recharge them, yet.

There was an uproar now, the orcs were outright demanding to be shown how to use these amazing weapons, were eager and willing to pledge allegiance to anyone in possession of such toys, and even Grunthror himself could not settle them. Not that he was really trying, he was too caught up in the excitement himself.

"Finally," Anar said, causing a hush that screamed 'what? There's more?', "finally... we have one little interesting device to show to you." He unclipped a solid, metallic, egg-shaped oval from his thick corded belt and held it out on display in the palm of his grey hand. It didn't look very impressive. It didn't have lots of intricate details, just simple grooves and ridges, and a ring at the top.

"You're going to want to stand back," he warned. The gathered orcs had a satisfyingly puzzled look about them. They weren't quite convinced. The rifles he'd demonstrated were big, and big meant better, this was... small. Disappointingly so.

Anar pulled the pin, let it drop with a clank to the ground, and tossed it over to the remaining intact practise targets. It rolled. It lay very still. Anar plugged his large, sensitive ears and sprinted back, gesturing for everyone to keep away, including his helper.

Confusion mounted amongst the watchers as the seconds ticked by, and a few nervous laughs began as though this was all a big con. A prank. A joke.

Then the world turned sideways, and the sky rang out with the force of a hundred thunderclaps.

Sawdust settled down in the air, the smell of charred wood was overpowering. The demonstration area was now merely a smouldering crater in the ground. Any evidence of padded dummies had been completely erased. The pretend 'enemy' had been thoroughly obliterated. And all it had taken was a ringed ball that could fit in the General's hand, that he had nonchalantly hung from his belt all this time like it was nothing.

The Kaos Army had found itself some very willing new recruits.