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What a day, from the Angie incident after history to a sweet finish with Julie and Midnight going out to the parlor.

But it didn't help because everything set in more than ever. Julie lay in bed early that night under the covers in panties and a bra while Midnight was lying beside her with his eyes closed and atop the blanket. She was on her side with the covers up to her chest, her head resting on her wrist over the pillow.

Her eyes were on his glowing rings, but her mind was elsewhere. Julie was thinking about how much worse that night could have gone had she not found an ounce of resistance in herself. She pictured it more vividly than she desired.

She started with Angie kissing her, but instead of Julie eventually pushing her away, she allowed it, taking the unreciprocated attention without resistance, making Angie more comfortable with the situation, feel more dominant over Julie, and a lot hornier, so she slipped the hand that wasn't holding Julie's under her shirt and along her stomach during a one-sided make out session, making Julie shudder.

However, Angie, this time, reached Julie's chest and traced her digits over the outline of her ribcage, just under her bra, and went under that too, sighing to herself while grabbing and fondling one of Julie's breasts.

Julie stopped thinking about it. She shut her eyes tightly, but it returned in spurs, she briefly pictured it leading to Angie reaching her hand between her legs and under her panties, rubbing her outer labia while Julie struggled not to react, then to Angie having Julie lie back while she used her mouth, or maybe Angie would have tried to force Julie to use hers instead.

There were too many nightmarish ways it could have gone, but no outcome in that situation would have been nearly as bad as any in which Justin had succeeded in taking Julie at the party. She was grateful for Anna because Julie may have been stupid enough to go along with whatever Justin had planned out of fear.

So she pictured that outcome too. Maybe he'd offered to take her home or sneaked her out while she was feeling ill. Regardless, Julie ended up in the backseat of his vehicle while struggling to hold onto consciousness, feeling her body move against the seat through stops and turns while lying across it and listening to the distorted hum of the engine.

She saw double, and her vision faded in and out until she could hold on no longer and blacked out.

Julie opened her eyes to a pitch-black room that she could barely make out and tried to move her wrists that were tied behind her back to no avail. She was on her stomach and propped on her knees atop what felt like a mattress.

Her eyes went wide, and she let out an involuntary subtle moan, feeling her body being repeatedly forced forward. She felt a stiff object moving inside her vagina and something smacking her rear repeatedly.

She realized then and there that she was being raped, and she knew by who, filling her mind and being with a frigid horror. Falling back into consciousness completely, she could feel his hands gripping her bare hips while he drove into her, and Julie didn't dare move a muscle. She was relieved to have her shirt on at least. She didn't dare gasp or moan, although her body was urging her to through conflicted pleasure.

Instead, she went limp-- Julie went as limp as possible like she had been when passed out so he wouldn't see that she was awake.

Julie shut her eyes welled with tears upon hearing his revolting grunts and feeling him run his hands over her thighs and rear and pressing his digits into them, pulling her helpless body into every thrust, which made her shudder. She heard him mumble about how cute and petite her body was. Julie fought against retracting against him and bit her lip to suppress any noise as he got rough enough with her for it to hurt, likely tearing her walls.

Julie came back from her thoughts again and took a breath through her mouth. The thing was, Julie knew Justin wouldn't have released her. At that point, it wouldn't have been a viable option. She would end up as he and his houndoom's toy for however long they found use in her or murdered and in a news story two weeks later.

She reached and hugged Midnight, the only comfort she had, pulling him close and swallowing.

He lifted his head upon being tugged and looked at her, seeing and sensing the distress in her demeanor. "Umb?"

"I'm okay," she mumbled. Her mind shot in rapid, overwhelming succession from Justin, Angie, and Ecruteak, all the way back to her parents' divorce, replaying all that she could recall-- the worst instances. Julie carried much baggage that stacked higher and higher against her, doing unspeakable damage that she put off daily.

Her mind raced endlessly, surrounded by utter, dark silence, and Julie couldn't gain control of it this time. She felt twice worse than she had all day and could think of or feel anything positive. This was the only period Julie had ever genuinely felt like ending it. In this moment, she wanted to stop these overwhelming thoughts in any way possible, and she had nothing and no one to turn to but those stupid pills that half of her wanted to pour down her throat.

Her chest tightened more and more by the second, a sense of chilling dread rushed over and throughout her body, and her breaths were shallow, growing more rapid with her heartbeat.

Julie reached for her phone and pressed unlock while turning slightly onto her back, holding it over her face and opening her messages, where she pressed her and Anna's conversation. She tapped the chat box and was about to type but stopped, looking at the call option at the top right of her screen.

She pondered, staring at it, then pressed it and held the phone to her ear, hearing it ring several times before picking up.

"Hullo?"

"Hi, Anna."

Anna was glad she'd saved Julie's contact. "Julie, what's up? You never call this late... Actually, I don't think we've talked on the phone yet, but what's up?"

She waited a beat. "Remember- um, in class earlier when you offered to talk?"

"I do. You told me something was bothering you. Why?"

"I was going to ask if... if-f you still wanted to." She was tripping over her words because she was on the verge of a breakdown she worked to hold in. Her tone was as fragile as could be.

"Yeah, of course. When did you want to?"

As soon as possible, but Anna had to be at home, and Julie didn't want to bother her. "Tomorrow. Does that work?"

"Sure... Are you alright?"

Julie didn't know how to answer that. She could easily say yes and wait it out, but-

"Julie?"

"...Huh?"

"Are you okay?"

She was fighting herself, but it's not like she could believably reply with yes now. Julie felt Midnight shift against her and sit up.

"If you're willing, we can meet tonight. I'm available."

That sounded perfect, but Julie still felt bad. "You're all the way at home, though, right?"

"I've got my jeep back and can be there in twenty. Just say the word."

"Yes," Julie said. "I'll be ready out front."

"See you then."

Julie hung up, set her phone on the bed, and looked at Midnight, who was sitting over her with the utmost concern in his eyes. "I'm going to talk to Anna. I should be an hour or so."

He got that much from the call. He'd listened to the entire conversation. "Umb..." But something was wrong. Midnight could see it.

"I'll tell you when I get back, love, because not even I know."

So, Julie got up and put on a pair of gray jeans and white knee-high socks, along with her white jacket with pink arm sleeves after doing her hair in the restroom. The minutes passed quickly, and twenty had before she knew it.

Julie texted Anna that she was coming out and slipped her phone into her pocket, then went to Midnight, who was sitting on the bed's edge. "I'll see you soon." She kissed his head ring. "This will be over with time. I promise."

He watched her leave and shut the door. Midnight didn't mind. She was leaving again but for a good reason. After that night with Angie, it felt like the Julie he'd met at Ecruteak had been replaced.

Julie took the elevator and walked down the hall, glancing into the laundry room upon catching movement and seeing students inside loading clothes or folding them from dryers. She passed it and pushed open the front doors, seeing Anna waiting in black jeans and a red button-up coat out front. The air was on the colder side but nothing close to Goldenrod.

"Hey," Anna said.

"Hi..." Julie approached. "Thank you for coming. You didn't have to on such short notice."

Anna knew she needed to. "No issue. Did you have any place in mind? I'm sure you don't want to talk out here."

She looked around. "Not exactly." Julie didn't want to do so in her room, as she didn't want Midnight in earshot.

"We could go to my place about twenty-five minutes up the road if you're okay with it. No one there but me and my pokémon I told you about."

Julie trusted Anna and was also curious to know where she lived. "Sure. I'd like that."

They took the northern exit leading to the side of the school where Anna had parked her jeep by an available meter. A few students walked the pavement with some getting into their vehicles and driving off for the night.

"Arrival." Anna took her key from her pocket and approached the jeep with a few vehicles parked behind it, then went into the street and driver's side. "She's cute, huh? I got her around five years ago as a gift from my old man."

"I like it." It was an older modeled black compact Sumon. Julie followed her and went to the passenger door, opening it and sitting in the seat after Anna unlocked the jeep and got in.

The interior was nice: fully black from the seats to the lit-up dashboard with silver lining for design.

Julie pulled the seatbelt over and buckled it, hearing the engine start.

"Do you drive anything back home?" Anna glanced at Julie while shifting the gear to drive, then checked her mirrors and over her shoulder.

"Uh, no. My father took the car when he left... and I don't have my license yet." Julie stared out the window as Anna pulled off and took a left into the neighborhood. Her eyes passed over parked cars, some people walking, greenery, and homes.

Anna stopped to let someone pull out of their driveway and drive past. "Can I ask why? Just out of curiosity, and if you had a vehicle to drive, would you attempt getting it?" she asked, keeping her eyes ahead and looking at the stop sign at the end of the street a car waited at with its right blinker on.

On the other side was a main road with vehicles driving on a two-way. It led west to Castelia Central and east to the commercial district surrounding the university.

"...It daunts me. I'd be able to pass a written test, but behind the wheel, I don't know." If they had a vehicle, Julie wished she could say she'd throw herself at it and put in her all, but she still didn't feel ready, although she may never be if she kept telling herself that.

Anna glanced her way again after pulling up and stopping behind the car, but she didn't reply.

---

Within the next twenty minutes, give or take, they entered a middle-class suburban neighborhood resembling the one next to the university, although the homes were smaller and outdated, as were the yards. The vehicles beside the curbs and in driveways were of older models more than not.

The grass patches on the pavement were green, the trees were trimmed, and the neighborhood was well-kept. Children frolicked and teens and adults jogged the sidewalk or strolled with their pokémon or spouse, telling of its safety.

"I'm right here." Anna slowed and turned into the driveway before a modest light blue residence with a wooden porch and cushioned chair on it, and a grassy front yard with dead spots.

"The color couldn't be better," Julie said. She unclicked her seatbelt, opened the door, and stepped out.

"It's cute," Anna replied, getting out as well after shutting off the engine and walking to the door with Julie following. "Like I said, I'm renting for now. I'm not sure where I want to settle yet. Used to live in the hub with dad, but I like the quiet for a change."

"I get that. I've lived in the middle of Central Goldenrod all my life. It makes me feel packed in without breathing room often." Julie looked back at the neighborhood and evening sky while Anna got the door open.

She could picture sitting out on the porch in a chair with Midnight, holding him in her arms while his rings glowed under the moon. They would be enjoying each other and the air under a starry sky.

"After you."

Julie turned back to an open door and walked through. "Thank you." She shook off her shoes and pushed them beside a coat hanger with a couple of coats on them by the door, then looked at the living room to the right.

It was a basic setup: a tan couch before a short wooden table with a few books atop the table, a flat-screen TV on a podium with a half-empty water bottle in front of it, a curtained side door leading to the backyard, and a wooden wardrobe filled with spirits against a wall.

"That wardrobe is an antique collection piece started by my mother. She left it behind after the divorce and never returned for it. My dad eventually didn't want it in the house anymore." Anna walked in and shut the door, flipping on the ceiling light. "It sat and gathered dust, so I took it on. It's worth a collective billion. Has a ton of unopened bottles worth a lot."

"Wow." Julie walked over to it across the carpet, eyeing the harlequin bottles behind the glass. "This had to take forever to fill up. It's impressive." She turned back and saw Anna hang her coat up, leaving her in a white long-sleeved tee that hugged her form. "I have something like this at home, but it's a wardrobe with water stone accessories. It's in the early stages, but I'm working on it... Do you ever make drinks with these?"

"Nah. I don't touch them. Maybe on a very special occasion, I'll open one and make something one day. I try to leave tending to the bar."

Just then, Julie saw something in her peripheral vision run from down the hall by the polished, small wooden square dining room table to the left where the light was dimmer and stop before Anna. It was a small, energetic vulpix that hopped off its front legs and pawed at Anna's shin, making her grin.

"What is upp, Ari, my boy. Miss me already?" Anna smiled and crouched to pat her vulpix's head.

"Vup!" he replied with a happy swish of his tails, then glanced back at Julie as if feeling her presence-- then he double-glanced, his demeanor faltering while staring at her.

"It's cool, Ari," Anna reassured. "That's Julie. She's my friend."

He looked back at Anna as she spoke then set his eyes back on Julie, approaching with curiosity and slight caution. "Vul..."

"Hi." Julie knelt and reached out her open hand, watching Ari walk into it and press the top of his furry head against her palm while grinning. "Awe..." She noticed his tails were partly split into four and an off-whitish orange.

"He's a little shy but very trusting. Got him two years ago from a Doption Center when he had only one tail." Anna stood and folded her arms, watching Julie rub his head. "I went in with my younger sister, nineteen, who was looking to adopt, and I couldn't help but glue myself to Ari. He looked calm and content even in containment and had his eyes on me. It was sealed when I asked to hold him, cuddly little thing. He's still growing. I expect him to have his full bushy six orange tails in the next year or two."

"That's sweet. I'm glad he has a good home and an even better owner." The story reminded Julie of that jolteon she'd seen years ago at the Doption Center by her block. She wondered how different her life would be if she had been able to take him home that day.

Julie stood and looked around. "And you have a lycan too, right?"

"Yeah." Anna looked down the hall. "Lusi!... He's a lazyroc. Didn't even come to say hi."

Julie saw him emerge from down the hall moments later with sleepy eyes. He was a pretty sight, with rich orange and bright fluffy white fur. He had mesmerizing green eyes to complement. She grinned again as he glanced Julie's way while going to Anna and nudging her leg.

"Oh, now you wanna say hi." Anna leaned and scritched under his neck. "My mom left him behind too. I guess I'm carrying all her remnants." She stood. "You can sit at the table. Want water?"

"No thank you," Julie replied and walked over, pulling out a chair at the edge of the table and sitting with a slouch. She looked back and saw Ari had taken the couch. Lusi was nowhere in sight, likely back in the bedroom.

Anna returned with a glass of water and set it on the table. She sat across from Julie, facing her. "I want to say first that I'm no therapist or psychologist. I'm finding my way in the field, but I'm just someone that's here."

Julie nodded. She knew so, but Anna had been nothing but great help since they'd met.

"If you're comfortable... why don't we start with the reason you wanted to talk? What was bothering you?"

"Um..." Julie looked down, staring at the table. She realized how much of a challenge this would be because of how deep her issues ran and how they intertwined in areas Julie made a conscious effort never to tread in. She looked back up. "That night at the party when Justin drugged and tried to take me... Tonight I kept picturing vividly what that could have been, but it felt entirely out of my control."

"Is there anything else you'd like to tell me? Before I speak."

"Uh... no."

Anna eyed her. "Okay. So, it sounds like you're suffering post trauma from the event. You went through a lot that night. Would you say it's something you believe will stay heavily with you long-term?"

"Yes. I don't know for how long, but..."

"Julie." Anna stared.

They exchanged eyes with silence echoing.

"Is there anything else you would like to tell me?" She could feel Julie's tension and stress, about see the stiffness and unease hinted in every minute movement.

Julie swallowed. She could feel a knot forming in her throat, and her eyes glossed over. Anna knew there was so much more, but it wasn't that easy. "I can't."

"I won't press further, but what will come of you if you keep holding everything in? You can't do that forever."

Julie shook her head and wiped her eyes with her sleeve as tears started welling. "You don't understand..."

She sighed, "I know I don't, but I can see that you're hurting."

"...You really want to know?" Julie knew Anna wanted to help, and she was willing to tell her it all, but she was deathly afraid of the outcome.

"I do, but that's up to you."

"I... guess I'll start from the beginning." Julie sat upright, taking a beat to prepare herself to dig deep. "I told you how I was raised by my mom only. My parents divorced after I turned thirteen. Right before that, they were arguing frequently off and on, and it just got worse and worse. I don't remember the details, but I guess someone was having an affair, and I'm sure he hit her once. She might have too. I can't be sure since I spent most of my time in my room to avoid everything. When I did watch or listen, it terrified me. They didn't feel like my mom and dad."

Julie sniffled and felt her chest and stomach tighten. She despised revisiting those days. "But it didn't noticeably hurt until I turned fifteen, where I fell into a depression that affected everything from my grades to basic function, and unfortunately, that age was when I started high school. I formed awful social anxiety and had no self-esteem, no motivation to interact with anyone. It was a small school, so my behavior spread over time and resulted in... in teasing and bullying. I had one good friend that had my back and antis that I still take, or else I'm sure it would have been twice worse."

That broke Anna's heart to hear. Some people felt contempt for vulnerable links and gained power through shaming them, knowing that they wouldn't retaliate, and those that stood by passively at those ages didn't want to involve themselves and be grouped with the victim, or they wanted to be on the winning end. "And you dealt with this from ninth to twelfth? Did you ever tell a teacher or the principal?"

"I didn't. That wouldn't have stopped it, and it was the worst during my senior year because..." Here goes. "Um, there was an umbreon on the grounds that belonged to the principal. We came across each other one day and started getting close... publicly. I'd bring him berries and treats, and we'd meet in the halls or at my locker that everyone could see. He was like- like an escape I couldn't stop running back to. I know it looked weird to everyone else since I never interacted with them, only him and my friend, but I couldn't stop."

"So they got on you for that too, I assume?"

"Yes."

"This hurts to know, Julie. I don't know how you endured four years of that, but what made you so reluctant to discuss it?... I get it's a sensitive subject."

Julie glanced away, her cheeks hot and her tone lowering briefly, "that's... not what I was refraining from saying." She may as well go all the way now not to leave Anna with half of the equation. "Over time, we got increasingly close, to the point where... wh-where." She shut her eyes for a second, her heart beating. "W-We shared a kiss in the hall while most classes were in session. It led to mutual confessions, then..." Julie could feel everything in her heat up. It took it all to utter her next self-incriminating words. "It- it led to s-sex." Julie held her breath and could no longer look Anna's way. She stiffened more.

Anna squinted and subtly shook her head. "I don't understand... You said he belonged to the school?" She would never have guessed, but aspects lined up more and more.

"We, mh, did it... twice on the property and nearly got caught the second time, so I stopped it. I now own him, though. The principal gifted him to me on graduation day."

"Goodness," Anna muttered so Julie couldn't hear. "And are you still in love with..."

"Midnight."

"Are you still in love with Midnight?"

Julie nodded. "I consider him my boyfriend... and I figure I should tell you... w-we did it again some nights ago in my dorm's laundry room, and we were caught that time."

Anna couldn't help letting some emotion break through, and her eyes dilated slightly. "You... what?" There were cameras in every dorm, and how was she still attending the university if there had been a witness?

"A friend saw and recorded the act, then blackmailed me with the material. She made me go to her dorm, where she touched me without my consent and did it with Midnight in front of me." Julie felt no better getting this off her chest and almost regretted confessing it. There was no way Anna could see her the same. What if she reported her after this?

Anna blinked. Twice. "Julie..." She paused. "I don't... I don't know how to tell you how deeply concerning all of this is."

"I know," she sniffled and wiped more tears that streamed down her cheeks. "I-I know how messed up it is," her voice shook, and her head started to hurt. "I s- I steer clear of boys because I fear one trying to take me from Midnight, and I stay to myself so I won't ever be judged."

"Well, I'm not judging you for the relationship, to be clear. If it's consensual, I guess there's debate to be had." Anna held her hands, intertwining her fingers and resting them on the table. "Because following the morals and laws that evolved and are everchanging with society-- I mean the ones involving the romantic and sexual relations between humans and pokémon from the past up to now that were once legal entirely and now entirely illegal in most regions. You could say no one knew right from wrong, at least in this aspect."

Anna had to sip her water before continuing, "you could ask why people are ridiculed so much for being in consensual romantic relationships with their pokémon. All of these creatures have a mind of their own, after all. They vary in intelligence, but they all have the capability to know what they want, and the law ensured the pokémon was mature enough to consent for marriage. You could say that the abusers, traffickers, the assaulters of both species-- they all had soiled the purity and respect once had between humanity and pokémon, and it isn't fair, as those were non-consensual acts. You could say it was just easier to take the route that the government did, to outlaw it wholly and punish the world."

Anna shrugged. "Or it was always morally incorrect and had been guaranteed to spiral the minds and interactions of both species downhill over time, which may be why they outlawed quadrupeds, and we can't forget that the global population started declining over time because neither wanted their respective species. Maybe interspecies mingling is dangerous, and we should stick with each others own, but past societies couldn't have known. They hadn't known better and had not considered it at the time. Those were ideals and cultural aspects of the past, and these are now."

Julie didn't even know what side she was on, truly. She could make sense of both arguments. She wiped her eyes and exhaled shakily through her mouth. "I don't know, Anna, I just... I love him so much, and I hate to think of this, but what if I used him as a coping mechanism, and what if I still am? After I graduated with him, I thought everything would be okay. I thought life would be so much easier..." Julie recalled bringing this up in her head after she and Anna's last talk but had quickly disregarded it.

Anna bit her lip briefly. "I'm not going to try and tear you two apart. If you can be happy with Midnight and cautious enough not to get caught, then go for it. I think it _may _be unhealthy and may also hold you back socially, but I could be wrong. Eeveelutions are smart enough to more or less function in a relationship with a human, depending on who you ask."

"I mean, I try to stay in shape and be healthy, to stay disciplined, on track, and motivated, to study as hard as possible. I'm doing everything right..."

"I can tell, and it worked, correct? Because you're here, but within yourself, do you feel that you have to try harder to achieve comfort or that you could improve?"

Julie looked down. "I guess..."

"Sometimes you have to make sacrifices even though it may hurt a ton. You should ask yourself if you would regret it down the line and if you would be willing to give up who you are to become what you could be."

She started shaking her head slowly and quickened the motion before stopping. "I can't see myself being with another soul. Ever. I won't regret it. The only thing I would regret is not accomplishing my goals."

"...For the record, I said regret, but I try not to. Some negative past events or things you feel you should have done are lessons that could have happened for a reason. They can build your character. If I lived in regret, I'd be drunk every night. But anyway, that's fine. I will have to advise against public sex, though. The cameras definitely picked you two up, but the school doesn't check footage unless something goes down, so let's hope nothing goes down in that laundry room."

Julie started to grin half-heartedly but sucked in her lip and waned it. "Never again... I don't know what was wrong with me."

"Depression can do that, you know? Correlate to risky or impulsive sexual decisions. I'm not saying that's the case..."

"Right, but I'm done regardless. It could have cost me Midnight and my future."

Anna cleared her throat. "And one more thing I wanted to touch on, if you're okay with it."

"Sure." Julie couldn't see anything more as being too much after spilling that she was technically a poképhile.

"Back when you were bullied, did you ever retaliate?"

"No, not really. It wasn't in me. I don't think fighting back would have saved me at that point. It may have made matters worse."

"Maybe. I wasn't there, but the capability to be just as awful is in all of us, you know? Like the girl that blackmailed you, would you say she's a bad person?"

"Troubled, surely, but... maybe." Angie's mental state was no excuse, but she was nowhere close to being in her right mind.

"That kind of gets into the whole determinism versus free will scenario, but she's as human as you are, whether or not you would do what she did. I'm sure you've at least had rude thoughts toward others before, right?"

"Well, yes..." Julie recalled the day she lashed out at Ricky in particular, and when she pushed him. "But I feel bad afterward, usually. It's not right to treat people that way. I don't want to make someone feel beneath me and affect their future."

"Because you don't like how it makes you feel. I get it. Here's the thing. They have no problem making you feel beneath them and boosting their ego. If you see aggression in all situations as immoral and believe you're so incapable, you can be easily exploited or imposed on. People on a power trip with ill intent can feel that. They do not give a damn how their words or actions will affect you-- excuse my unprofessionalism."

"Hm." Julie rested her forearm on the table and rested her cheek on it, eyeing her. "You're just picking me apart tonight, huh?"

Anna chuckled, "sorry. I'm not intending to. I just want you to understand you. You're an amazing and very beautiful woman who I know has a bright future. The trauma will exist forever, but you can learn to live with it and enjoy the world. You're young. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life fighting for your life... or worse."

Julie sat up and leaned back against the chair, hearing it creak. "Well, I've never directly wanted to take my life..." Until tonight. "I just wish it wasn't me. It's like I had the worst start to life and subconsciously choose decisions that worsen it. I didn't think I was bitter..."

"The bottom line is you need to take control of your mind. What you're dealing with is serious, dangerous, and it's sometimed coddled or looked past by people, letting their loved ones degrade and fall apart before their eyes. What I've learned is active trauma is constantly in full effect and takes from everything that you are like a parasite. You'll have to confront it when you have the strength. Living through a bad past will tear you apart and could incline you to self-destructive activities. Do you think it does so for you?"

"It's affected me since ninth grade, yes... I had a sugar addiction, barely ate, and many days felt lived without myself and created issues from how I view men to interacting with people in general. I fixed a lot of those issues, but I still can't stand in front of a crowd without making an idiot out of myself. I need a frickin' jacket to feel comfortable in social settings, and I avoid any if possible. I'm just awkward. My mom, best friend, and Midnight help me keep me going. I get facing the trauma, but I've always avoided that too."

"What made you want to fix it? The self-sabotage."

"I was doing it to cope and felt like... simultaneously better and awful whenever I impulsively snacked, especially in the morning or late at night. I got tired of feeling worse afterward and realized how that habit could affect my mental and physical health if I kept that up, and once I got out of that awful loop, I couldn't go back. I didn't actually want any of that. I just wanted not to be depressed. It fueled how worthless and upset I felt at the time."

Anna nodded. "Good on you. Addictions are nearly impossible for some to break, and no one wants to inherently destroy themself, create more trauma, or take their life. They just don't have the necessary guidance or understand how to help themselves. Maybe they don't have the privilege or funds for professional help. It could daunt the affected individual who is fearful or uncomfortable opening up and revealing some of the most personal parts of themselves to a complete stranger. They may not even be in a position to do so. When you're stuck in that ditch, it can be difficult to see a way out, but the more effort you put into improvement and self-excellence, the happier you'll be overall."

"But sitting in the dark can manifest into awful conclusions over enough time without help because everyone has a breaking point. I want to be one of the people that can get even a few souls back on track one day. That awareness and foresight is crucial to freeing yourself from where you think you're in control... So, a step in regulating what is hurting you is understanding it and why it makes you feel certain ways. It may allow you to not be affected so deeply since you'll know precisely how it affects your perception of life."

"Antidepressants, people, relationships, therapy... those are band-aids. They can help and guide you in the right direction, but you need to help yourself, ultimately. Only you can heal you. You said you've always stayed away from boys because of Midnight, right?"

"Uh..." It had been before him as well, but she'd never stopped to think too much. She stared, blanking out. "It started when my depression did. Midnight just gave me another reason."

"Why do you think that is?"

"I guess... I guess it could be from one or both of my parents cheating and hearing my father shout at my mother all the time and vice versa, and then he was gone. He was just..." she sniffled and rubbed her glossy eyes. Julie could bawl all over again. "Gone. He was out of my life one day, and I never saw him again. He remarried a-and would text or call, but it faded as I got older, and it stopped completely at seventeen, which crushed me and made it all worse. It could have turned me off from the idea of relationships and what someone could potentially do to me. I don't want someone I grow to love so much and put so much into, get so close and intimate to... to leave. It's the same with friendships usually. I barely want them to know me. I'd rather put my life to my studies and soon my work."

Anna knew Justin and that girl couldn't have helped. "That's understandable, but they're deactivating strategies. Like, you're guarding yourself from pain now at the expense of loneliness in the future. It does more harm later than you think it's helping now, although I know you have Midnight and a friend back home. Those precious connections you make with people while young are important and can help in many aspects of life, especially with your future when it can be more difficult to find the same..."

She shrugged. "Granted that they're the correct ones. Have you ever thought about getting to know any boys, then, to show you a possibility that they aren't what your trauma equates all of them to? It's similar to having a bad experience with, say, someone from another region and disliking everyone from that region afterward... And have you talked about any of this with either of your parents?"

Julie agreed with making friends while young, while everyone was still finding themselves, can grow together, and aid each other when either needed it most. That's why she had Alyssa. Those friendships meant the most. "I could, but I still don't want to get close while I'm with Midnight, and I've never brought up anything to do with the divorce to my mom. It affected both of us deeply. I wouldn't want to dig that back up again."

"...Hm. Well, preferring to be solitary often is fine. Everyone's different, but too much can be dangerous for your health." Anna understood, but Midnight seemed to be a wall that stunted Julie's potential growth. She was seeking happiness in the wrong places. "Want to know how I choose my friends?"

"Go ahead."

"One is looking for personality traits that would count as red flags as you talk and get to know them. I'll just give you my favorite, and it's questions. That's a crucial aspect in knowing and gaining an understanding of someone. As in you're asking about their childhood, current life, hobbies... whatever, and they very rarely or don't express any interest or care in you-- give little to nothing back, I'd distance and leave them alone or keep a shallow friendship to spare myself the pain."

Julie nodded. "I can see that, but I don't think I've experienced it. I got lucky with my best friend and don't put myself out there, but thank you."

"Mhm, and you said you once had a sugar problem alongside some other things. Was there anything else?"

"Like what?"

"Common ones are poor sleeping habits, lazing around day in and day out, stress, overconsuming negative news, too much general screen time, social isolation over long periods..."

"Oh, well, I had a good sleep schedule in high school. It's... kind of boggled now since I chose a later first class on top of free days. It's the same for the second one, but as for negative stuff and screen time, I try not to. I put more of that time into studying, Midnight, and my mom and best friend. Social isolation is my biggest issue... I guess I've fallen back a little overall, but I'm working on it, starting with the gym and maybe non-essential classes and the recreation center." Julie could tell she'd been declining ever since she moved away and wanted to get back on track. Even while being bullied, she wasn't this unhappy while attending Ecruteak.

That's why she needed to go back home. Perhaps it would spark something. Julie didn't know how to be on her own.

"That's good. Just heal at your own pace. The last thing you want is to overwhelm yourself. That could turn you off to the idea entirely," Anna sighed, "I think that's all, unless you have questions or anything more to add." She wanted to give time for everything they'd discussed to settle.

"I don't. You've made me feel a lot better, though... I think you're the first and only person I've truly opened my heart to. I was in a horrible place before I called you."

"I recommend breathing. You know, just shut your eyes, go blank, and take deep, steady breaths. Focus on how it affects you physically too. Try using it to relieve that tightness in your chest and shoulders." She pulled her phone out of her pocket. "It'll be nine soon, by the way. Want me to take you back? I know I snagged you from Midnight."

She grinned, "I let him know where I was going, but I do miss him, and I'm getting tired. I'll keep the breathing technique in mind. Thank you."

---

Anna had driven Julie back and took a quick detour to show her where she worked and the general commercial area, where a Cherubi's was that Julie had no idea existed. It excited her since it was a taste of home, so they went through the drive-thru and ordered three Rubi Salads on Anna. Julie was able to use her Rubicard there, too, as all locations accepted it, so one of the salads were free. The future seemed cool so far.

When they arrived back to campus, Anna walked with Julie to her dorm, wishing her a good night and letting her know she was always a call or text away before separating.

Julie went up the elevator with a large paper bag containing two salads while rubbing her eyes and closing them. She admired Anna more than before after tonight. She hadn't at all judged Julie for her abnormal relationship or life and offered genuine solutions that Julie had to sit and consider.

She opened her eyes after the doors opened and walked down the hall, smiling a little upon reaching hers and unlocking it. Julie pushed it open to Midnight standing while outstretching his paws.

"I'm back." She shut the door, slipped out of her shoes, and went to set the bag on the bed that Midnight sniffed at. "That's dinner," Julie yawned and leaned on her side to level herself with him. She wanted to cut out the stress eating that she'd been doing over the last couple of days. She couldn't fall back into that ditch. Not again, and this salad would be a fine reset.

Midnight nuzzled and kissed her cold cheek from the outdoors, seeing her smile. Whatever had happened while she was with Anna seemed to have improved her mood, and he hoped for it to last this time.

"I hope you have an appetite, love. I probably should have gotten one to share. I'm sleepier than I am hungry." She kissed the side of his neck and set her palm on his shoulder, then sat up while rubbing it. While looking at him, she fell into a daze, causing it to turn into a dull stare.

Midnight eyed her, watching her lose herself in thought with her gaze on him. She wasn't here, meaning he would have to wait to even attempt getting anything out of her as usual.

It wrenched her heart to consider a life without Midnight at its center. As she had brought up to Anna, there could be a painful possibility that Julie used their relationship and risky sex as a patch she had desperately needed back at Ecruteak. "Let me wash my hands."

Julie got up and went to the restroom, pulling the door behind her so it closed halfway and flipping on the light. She stood before the mirror and held the counter's edges, looking at herself.

That talk with Anna had her mind racing even more, but it didn't mean Julie was unhappy with Midnight, and she wanted to feel no conflict pertaining to their relationship. She wanted so much to say Anna didn't know what she was talking about. Julie wasn't using Midnight or anything close.

Midnight fulfilled her. He took nothing from her existence. He added so much to it and filled a portion of the dark void inside her. The reason she felt depleted, anxious, and had to work so hard to feel a semblance of okayness was because she fought her trauma and resulting issues around the clock, not because of Midnight. Julie didn't want to move on and leave them all behind to gamble with some guy. She wouldn't even be able to keep Midnight at that point. She and him were established.

They loved, trusted each other, and had been through the best and worst together.

Julie could never tear that in half like nothing. Every moment was priceless, as was their bond.