FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Disclaimer - This is a goofy, nonsensical, surreal, bizarre, smutty, unusual, non sequitur, and completely off-its-rocker story. If that doesn't deter you then the strange eroticism almost certainly will. For those who lack the scruples to be repulsed, you might want to buckle your seat-belts. This one is guaranteed to be a wild ride. (This is a work of pornographic fiction. Please do not read if it would be illegal for you to do so.)

Applesauce

This was going to be a monumental Thursday for Simon. The unveiling of his big project. He was shaking hands with CEOs and philanthropists, all grinning and amazed that a person such as him had been stuck working a dead end job for so long before anyone recognized his true genius. The bustle of the gorgeous crowd echoed around the white walled ballroom with its high ceilings and chandeliers that gave the whole gathering a sense of great class. Initially, Simon had tried to create something in the Basic Creation Interface to showcase, however, what he had ended up with looked like a preschooler had tried to make a face out of play dough. And so he decided to just set up a canvas tarpaulin draped over a nothingness the size of a piano in the center of the bustling ballroom and programed it so that no one would peek. It made the praise a little more nondescript, but at least it didn't feel like people were mocking him.

He'd found this parlor two years ago and it was a real lifesaver. In his everyday existence, he was simple Simon, the janitor, but on Thursdays, he could be whoever he wanted to be. Everyone had tried the superhero carts, but honestly, once you've been invincible for a few minutes everything starts to get pretty boring. There were a whole slew of other exotic ones he'd tried at the start: war sims, getting married, even an ender once (and never again.) But really, at the end of the day, he just enjoyed being the actual Simon around people instead: Not just a guy who cleaned things, but a deep person who everyone respected. He realized it was a little pathetic, but he didn't see any harm in it. It was just like reading a good book and getting lost in the words, except that it cost 1.23 MU for a two hour session.

The work under the canvas was whatever he fancied it to be. He started off telling the crowds of women in fancy dresses and men in suits and tuxes that it was his greatest artistic creation, something that really found true beauty. But that just reminded him of his lumpy clay faced attempt, and so he changed tact early in the evening and started telling the masses that it was a tremendous leap in scientific achievement. The version of Mark Twain that he'd had the guys put in was particularly interested in it for whatever reason, and so he had a long drawn out conversation on how the invention was going to help humanity progress while the literary figure nodded, stroked his unkempt mustache, and smoked a sour smelling cigar.

Just then, in a shower of red bricks and plaster, the wall burst open. This was slightly unusual because none of the walls were brick in the first place. What was odder was that a bounding streak of dark fur lept into the room, slavering and snarling, clenching its paw-like hands tipped with wicked black claws.

"What the . . ." Simon muttered. There must have been some kind of miscommunication with the techs. He sighed and looked around. It would be easy just to use his password to log out and have them reload everything, but he was having such a good time. Maybe this entry wouldn't interfere with the previous one?

How wrong he was. None of the guests seemed that perturbed, but a squad of SWAT members dressed in riot gear tromped through the wall after the ostensible werewolf, all code names and tactics; just like in an action flick. They made a few errant potshots at the beast before it jumped through the air, bowling directly into Simon and knocking them both into the cheese balls as the long table buckled under their weight, collapsing with a huff of its maroon tablecloth.

The sergeant of the squad barked out a ceasefire, and there were cries of "It's got a hostage!" as the thing stood up. The sensation of the fur texturing was really well done. And whoever had fixed the motions had really known what they were doing. But, this was turning really cheesy, really fast, and so Simon opened his mouth, about to abort the whole fiasco with one word.

They had told him to pick an utterance that he would always remember, but never came up in everyday conversation for his system code. As a child, his family had owned an apple tree, and more than that, one of those incredibly spliced up models that was literally covered in the bright red fruits for most of the year. His mother always picked them all. Every last one. And what did she do? Did she make some delicious pie, or perhaps slice them and serve them with pork chops? No. It was always applesauce. Simon could swear that, as a kid, his body had been about 80% apple by mass, and so he was certainly never going to forget about it. Not to mention, no one talks about applesauce. I mean, really, when was the last time anyone remotely interesting talked about applesauce in their everyday life?

He took a breath, the word on the edge of his lips before the huge lumbering creature put an arm behind his back, pulled him in, and kissed him.

This, Simon had not expected.

He struggled in the thing's arms, trying to pull back as the tongue forced its way into his mouth and sloppily licked at his gums, leaving behind a taste like the smell of wet dog. Its body was surprisingly warm and soft, and Simon's face burned red with a blush as he attempted to wriggle back. the wolf's panting black nose huffed against him as it held him fast for a second more and then released him, panting for breath as its pink tongue lolled.

The swat team looked like they were engaged with problems of their own as a whole pack of these hunched furry humanoids had bolted in and engaged them, quickly over powering the humans and pinning them down under their furry bodies. The writhing police officers began to change, growling as fur burst out along their bodies and their hands sharpened into deadly claws. Some of their screams turned into odd throaty moans as their bodies twisted.

Ah. It was one of t_hose_kind of carts.

Simon shuddered and pulled back, opening his oddly hot mouth and shouting out.

"Arrplrr Sarrss."

What? He tried again as the wolf sniffed at his neck and his face began to crack and pull forward into a savage dark furred lupine muzzle.

"Arroor Srrrrs"

Well shit.

The wolf ground its body against him and his heart pounded as he looked down and saw a crimson point pressing out from its animal sheath, rubbing dark wet patches into his slacks as Simon's stretching darkening nose huffed and took in the strangely detailed scent while its surface turned leathery and moist. The fine nuances were amazing, giving him all kinds of hints of animal lust and . . . nutmeg? Anyways, this was getting far too erotic for his tastes, and so he lurched forwards, kneeing the slavering beast in its hefty groin before bolting for the nearest door.

The wolf looked after him, golden eyes almost hurt as it collapsed with a whimper. It was about the only one as well; the other guests of the party didn't seem to notice the broken table or the wild werewolf orgy going on in the middle of the polished hardwood floor, save for Mark Twain who was watching the whole thing with an eyebrow raised while puffing at his cigar. Simon desperately turned the crystal handle of the side door open and slammed it shut behind him.

"Awwrgrrr Srrrllls."

"What dearie? My oh my. That's not what we have on the menu for today. No no no. We're here for eggs."

Dear lord. Was this another cart that had been accidentally decked into Simon's rig? What were the techs thinking!?

Before him stood a life-size version of the "McCormic's Eggs" chicken. It's plump round body sported an old fashioned blue apron spotted with little white flowers. She stood in what was almost the set of a cooking show, with pans hanging from the ceiling, and the whole place far too clean for it to be a real restaurant. The boisterous hen's taloned feet clacked against the floor as she happily approached Simon, who fumbled back for the knob of the door. However, both knob and door seemed to be conspicuously absent, and behind him there rest only a stainless steel food prep counter.

"Prrrrse. Ehhm Jurrs . . . Prrsn Thrrro." Simon coughed out, long tongue tangling up his words. Honestly, couldn't people just program it so that a wolf could talk? Would that be too much to ask?"

"No no, dearie. I insist!" The giant almost cartoonishly proportioned chicken clucked. She reached in and hugged him close to her body, apron yielding with the soft feathers under it as she grabbed his face. She only had hands in the sense of flexible finger-like feathers that moved seemingly in defiance of the basic laws of animal anatomy.

"Jerrses. Srrarp!"

"Oh, trust me dearie. I know why you came here, so let's get to making some fresh eggs," Those fluffy feathered fingers slipped into the back of his slacks, pressing tight against his skin as he struggled uselessly against her firm grip.

Some people were just into weird shit. Really, very strangely weird shit.

He growled in protest as one of her fluffy digits circled around the outside of his ass, making him try to pull back in uncomfortably frightened protest as she clucked softly.

"There there. I know you'll just make a great hen." And with that, the oddly solid digit slipped inside of him, making his ass stretch and writhe, feeling hot and amazingly sensitive as she tugged at his insides. The flesh became more and more supple as she exuberantly wriggled around.

"Brrt Arrm Narrt ar Grrrl."

"You silly little goose." She clucked as her other set of impossible feather-fingers tugged down the waist of his pants so that they fell around his ankles with his briefs. "A nice hen like you has all of the parts you need right here." The finger pressed in hard one last time, making his eyes water as it slid slowly out of him, leaving a strange pressure that built up in its tugging absence, making his newly formed cloaca writhe in unwanted pleasurable sensation. She hugged him close, hand rubbing at his tailbone as the feeling of something inside of him grew more prevalent, making him moan against her as the flesh above his ass was pulled out into a little pink fleshy knob that swelled with sinew and new muscles as, in a sudden burst, a fan of feathers spread out around it, framing his glistening avian hole with brilliant plumes of white and tan.

"Here it comes darlin'!" She crowed. Her broad soft hand teased the edges of his glistening avian opening as it started to twitch and widen. Simon's insides contracted in halting jolts as his flexible orifice was stretched out by the smooth warm whiteness of a gigantic ostrich sized egg. He gasped for breath at the pained pleasure, growling out as his body strained and the egg crowned out further as a soft white feathered finger traced around the edges of his dilating pink orifice. His toes curled in tightly and his whole body pushed out as he let out a strained ululation

"Awwwwoorrrrrrrrrark!" It ended with a strange choked cluck as the egg pressed out from him and she caught it in her wide white hand, stepping back towards the stove as he stood there panting in disbelief.

"What a nice egg for your first time dearie. This is gonna make one tasty omelet!" she clucked to herself as she grabbed a large copper bottomed pan.

Oh Jesus Christ no.

Simon ran past the stove, barreling towards the swinging double doors that the nonexistent wait staff would have used. How did things like that even exist? This was turning into a sociological experiment in what people could possibly find arousing, and honestly, he'd much rather stay in the dark. Speaking of, Simon panted in the cool complete darkness, hands behind him not feeling a swinging door, but cool hard natural granite as he leaned his tail-feathers back against it. It was so dark that he couldn't even see his own hands.

"Arrplrr SarrrrAwk!" Simon spat out. Was he really going to have to wait out the rest of his session in a blank cave? Who would even want to . . .

A huge bloom of flame erupted from above him, lighting a giant wrought bronze candelabra on the ceiling and the cave glittered into twinkling life with the yellow light glittering off of the piles of gold coins, polished armor, jewels, crowns, and scepters. Resting imperiously on the largest pile of loot was a sinuous blue scaled dragon that looked down at him as smoke curled from her lips. By his rough estimate, Simon put her to be about the same size as a house.

"Well, Adventurer." Her tail swished behind her as she spoke with a deep voice that echoed throughout the cave. You've found my horde, but I've found you. However." She paused with a toothy grin. "It gets very bland staying here with only my wealth. So I'll make you a bargain. You may take one thing from my horde, but in return you must do something for me . . ."

"Nrrow. Srrray. Jurrst lerrvrrng." Simon stepped back against the wall.

"I'm afraid you don't really have a choice my tasty little treat." Her scaled body moved with a flowing grace, barely disturbing the stacks of treasure as she darted towards him, great azure wings flapping while she caught him easily in one taloned scaly hand. "Your kind killed all of the males of my species a long time ago, and there's an itch I haven't scratched for a century or two." She rolled over, splaying her legs out and letting her tail snake out away into the darkness as her impossibly precise hand pressed Simon's head against the scaled slit of her femininity that quivered slightly.

How was this even possible? There was simply no way that someone so small as Simon could even hope to titillate a woman whose vagina was as long as he was tall. This was just ridiculous; probably some bastard's fucked up male power fantasy that he could pleasure this mountain of scales with his egotistical . . .

"Too slow adventurer. Far too slow." She interrupted his internal tirade, dark smooth claws pressing in at the back of his head, forcing it against her yielding warm slit until, with a muffled shout, his entire head slipped inside of her. The huge reptile's body rumbled as he tried to pull back, but her giant hand-claw held him in place while her hot insides squeezed at him.

"Yesssss." The looming dragoness hissed as she wrapped her fingers around him and pressed him deeper as the fleshy contracting insides of her labia ground around him while she crammed his shoulders in as well. Breathing didn't seem to be as big of a problem as Simon expected it to be, but he was still none too happy with his situation as his head was ground against a taut inner orifice before she pressed him in further and her contractions began to draw him inside, undulating around him with hot slick body engulfing tugs as he was ground in up to his waist.

He could hear her massive heartbeat as the hot walls of her femininity clenched around him and the muscles behind his shoulders felt strange while his flesh bulged up and started to swell, developing a strange cold tickling sensation as the nubs grew out, and pressed against her hot insides, making her writhe harder as her hand crammed his entire body into her sodden reptilian snatch with a loud wet noise. The clenching passage drew him deeper and deeper as his forming wings strained out and wrapped around him, engulfing him in a textured leathery membrane that made the dragoness writhe.

Simon's whole world became one hot clenching fleshy pulsing domain, and his tail feathers twitched as his ass strained and a thick draconic tail haltingly began to press out, wrapping up along his chest in the balmy warmth as it swelled out longer, fan of feathers still there around the solid base. His body was clenched tighter and tighter, until it felt that he was just floating, suspended in a warm nurturing darkness. The world pulsed around him, and he could hear some strange hissing sound as he opened his eyes, and found something completely unexpected.

The viscous pale green liquid drained out of the clear glass cylinder that he found himself suspended in, and he gagged as, with a hydraulic hiss, it rose up and he coughed up some of the strange salty liquid as it rushed out around him onto the floor. His tail twitched behind him and his wings flapped open, flicking off some of the vaguely scientific ichor. He stretched his neck, feeling oddly powerful as he stood up and looked around him.

"Arepar Sssrrresawks."

It was worth a try.

The place that Simon now found himself seemed straight out of science fiction. There were wrecked debris from some scientific experiment gone awry and the conspicuous absence of anything moving around other than himself. The only things that were intact other than a few nondescript computers was a set of elaborate glassware with bubbling black contents dripping though clear curled tubes for no discernible reason.

At least there didn't seem to be anyone else in this one. Maybe it was just an exploration sim.

There was a huge crash behind him as something fell with a squelch.

Or not.

An opaque viscous puddle of ooze had broken out from the useless glassware, and was now bubbling towards him menacingly, its glimmering outside shining like an oil slick. Not wanting anything to do with this new terror, Simon ran to the door, randomly pressing at the multicolored buttons on the console next to it wildly as it steadfastly refused to open.

The elastic goo flung itself towards him, landing squarely between his blue scaly wings, which flapped around wildly as he reached back and tried to pry the thing off with little success. It tingled against his skin with a strange icy hot quality as it slid up over his furry head. He grabbed at it, but it was like trying to move something made out of obstinately vulcanized rubber as it poured over him pressing down his pointed ears, covering his vision for a second before pressing into his lupine mouth and nose, sliding completely in with a wet splotch and causing Simon to double over, hands on his stomach as he growled out while the goo boiled inside of him.

His insides writhed, becoming hot and then cold, fluctuating with bizarre sensation as the skin under his arms began to tug and writhe, slowly fading into a deep shiny black as the two protrusions slid out, jerking this way and that as they both formed into odd writhing appendages, almost tentacle-like, but smooth and slippery. The room shuddered, and soon the ceiling began to drip with more of that cloying blackness that started to merge into one massive glob, undulating as it stretched towards him. His newly formed limbs reached out towards it as Simon heard it's strange voice calling towards him.

The audio was terrible though, just some woman's voice with a slightly delayed reverb effect. It was almost a pity considering how much detail they'd put into the slippery black flesh writhing around inside of him, making his new arm-things wriggle wildly. Simon pressed his back against the door as the mass grew larger and larger, taking up most of the room before, with a low quality hydraulic woosh the mechanical portal flew open and he tumbled, wolfish head over draconian tail, through it.

He shook his head, getting up from the tarnished hardwood floor as the door slammed shut behind him, leaving only wall with a corporate looking potted plant.

"Now then. . . Mr. Winslow was it?" The cool calculated voice spoke crisply.

"Nro. Sirrmolnnnrg Grrrrwasarln." Simon gurgled out instinctively. Why couldn't something just change his mouth back to something without a speech deficit?

"Right. It's seems you owe me a bit of a debt."

Simon sorted out his tail, wings, and wriggling extra arms that wouldn't seem to stop slapping against his sides and then looked up, almost laughing as he saw the devil. Not the terrifying devil that you'd see in a movie nowadays, but the old fashioned goatee wearing red skinned goat-legged black horned one right out of a comic from the 1940s. There was even a pitchfork leaning against the back wall below his legal accreditations. He was wearing glasses and looking down at a sheaf of papers intently.

"You failed to meet the terms of our little agreement here, and you know the terms of default . . ." The red devil smiled up at him with filed down sharpened teeth.

" . . . Rreearrly?" Simon sighed, with an incredulous frown. This did not bode well. Apparently the devil was not just a dick, but also had prosopagnosia.

"And now you must serve, as per out binding agreement." Old Scratch grinned as he snapped his fingers and a line of fire seared itself into a circle on the floor around Simon's feet, lines racing through it to form a pentagram.

Real creative

. . . Also . . . Hot!

He tried to pull his feet up, but found that they were held fast as the hellfire seared his toes, darkening the nails to a deep pitch black as they were carbonized. Strangely, although it did sting, the sensation was more like a simmering electrical feeling, odd coding, but Simon wasn't complaining. The flames engulfed his feet while his digits began to fuze, clicking and clacking into broad cloven hooves. Well, maybe he was complaining . . .

"There's always room for another incubus in Hell." Lucifer grinned, standing up and clopping towards the fire bound human, animal erection pulsing from between his satanic thighs as Simon's legs were singed, feet pulling up and bulging with sinewy muscle as they sprouted a thick bristly coat of brown hair. His temples ached as well as black curved horns sprouted from his head, bending back over his lupine skull. The feeling of his muscles straining as his bones realigned themselves was intense, making his pointed ears twitch and his long blue scaled tail thrash about violently. As Simon's thighs bulged out the Prince of Hell came up behind him, pressing against his wings and pulling back at his horns, whispering in Simon's flickering ears as the man's new wriggly black tentacles drug themselves almost comically over the arch devil's strangely hot skin.

"I'd love to share this with you now." The campily supreme lord of evil laughed as he pressed the pointed tip of his wicked cock under the thick base of Simon's tail, teasing his fleshy avian cloaca and pressing in just slightly, making the slick orifice clench and writhe as steaming hot pre seared the edges alluringly. "But we'll have all of eternity for that later." And with one last maniacal roaring laugh, the floor opened up into a roaring furnace of flame that pulled Simon downwards through the clenching arms of the damned, going to the place where the bastard who made the blasted cart was hopefully burning in agony.

His wings really didn't seem to help slow his decent much, and with an unceremonious thump he fell onto a seemingly endless flat expanse of bold colors, all geometrically arranged in large patches that looked vaguely patriotic. Simon heard voices as he stood up and brushed himself off, strange broad hoofed feet bearing his weight solidly as his tentacles wouldn't stop fighting each other and he worked out a crick in his tail from the fall, smoothing down the long ruffled feathers at its base.

"They wouldn't mean that fer you! Surely yeh jest!" The voice had a strange heavy (and yet generic) Scottish accent.

"I assure you, it is precisely what they meant sir. They wouldn't waste their time on something so hideous as your own." This one had the tone and measure of a posh Englishman, dialed up for maximum pomposity.

Looking up, Simon sighed as he saw a bemonocled gryphon in a waistcoat discussing something with a wolfhound in an argyle sweater over a game of cards. It seemed to make even less sense than the last frenetic episodes had, but nothing was trying to kill him . . . or do other things . . . yet. So Simon carefully curled his tail to the side, folded his wings, and tried without success to stop the slippery waving of his slick black tentacles as he sat down sullenly on the edge of a chair across the table from the arguing heraldic animals.

"Nah, nah. It just wouldn't be fittin'! A tiny thing like yours. I promise ya, It only applies to me and my own." The dog shook his head and laid down a card as he spoke.

"With all due respect." The gryphon replied, glancing through his hand. "I'm absolutely positive you have it wrong. Yours would simply be too . . . unsightly." He finished with a click of his beak, tufted tail patting against the red ground.

"Sounds like we have a need for an impartial judge if ya ask me. So let's ask him." Both animals turned to Simon, laying down their cards impatiently.

" . . . Awrprrl Swarrrks."

God. It was just getting worse every time. And even though this was the most surreal of the carts, at least it hadn't gotten . . . weird yet.

"Pardon us good sir." The gryphon began. "But we were having a bit of a heraldic debate. You see, in heraldry, when one stands just so." He stood up and turned to the side, opening his beak and raising a claw. "It is called 'A Gryphon Erect.'"

"Now hold on a second laddie." The whiskery hound interrupted. "It's called a hound erect, and was later applied to other things. Anyways, that particular pose is referred to in such a way because of it's striking resemblance to one of these." Reaching down, the dog lewdly grabbed his testes and fuzzy gray sheath as his pointed carmine prick began to poke out.

This is why we can't have nice things.

"No sir, it's obviously referring to this." The gryphon stroked down the side of it's furry package as a pink fleshy growth pushed out. "Look, you should decide, but there are some things you should know. A proud gryphon's member is compact and efficient." The small spire of flesh grew and stood throbbing proudly in the air. Simon slapped a hand over his face. This was just silly.

"Its tip possesses just the correct smoothness to pleasure the significant other of your choosing, and along the length, are perfectly arranged soft spines like so." Simon shivered as the gryphon ran a dark talon over its own jutting erection. Looking down under the table, he saw that his own hardening member was changing, skin taking on a wet sheen as little almost clear spines formed around the edges. "Trust me, your lover will most certainly thank you." The gryphon finished as Simon's balls began to bulge and swell out under short coat tawny fur.

"Nah nah nah. What yer lovely wants is this right here!" The hound's tongue lapped over his furry chops as he stroked his shaft with a paw. Something was making the soft skin of his sheath swell slightly as he continued. "It's nice and smooth, and that tip'll make the lovin' that much easier. And when your ready for something more." He pumped down as a bulbous knot of veiny flesh was revealed, glistening at the base. "This'll make sure that you're at it for hours.

Simon stared down in disbelief as his cock throbbed out longer. His tight testes were dappled with little gray spots as the head took on a chisled tip and the base pulsed with his heartbeat, swelling into a girthy knot. He couldn't help but touch it in curiosity, and his mind exploded in pleasure, making his wings unfurl as the knot pulsed and his hand stroked over the tingling spines above it that sent shivers of pleasure through his backbone.

"Well?" The gryphon turned to him. "What's your verdict?"

"Yeah, Tell'im I'm right!" The hound crossed his arms.

"Yrrr Borrf Cawrrarzy." Simon panted out, standing up and shoving in his chair aside with a huff as his member bobbed needfully below him while the dappled gray and straw colored fur spread up and around his crotch.

He turned and stomped away from the insufferable creatures.

"Well, that's uncalled for I think." The gryphon clacked his beak snootily.

"I'll say." The dog chimed in. "But you might want to watch out for those chevrons over there it gets a little . . ." There was a shout as Simon started sliding off the edge of the flag, colors and symbols racing past as the slope became steeper and steeper.

"Tricky . . ." The hound finished lamely as the man screamed off into the distance.

"Well, fancy another game?" Both animals sat back down and re-dealt the cards.

The slanting slide shunted Simon down further as he screamed, tail lashing about wildly as he tumbled. Suddenly he crashed headlong into a pile of variegated cushions, sharp horns perforating one as his screams were muffled by the pile of multicolored pillows that flew up and landed on him.

Suddenly strong paws grasped around his shoulders and he was about to turn and fight or run or anything to get away from this bullshit when they began to knead very gently at his flesh. Ahhh, mmm. It felt nice. And it wasn't weird, or crazy. Just a nice back massage. He decided that if the cart wasn't going to force it, then he was fine here, head buried by pillows, getting a nice soothing muscle rub.

"Mmmm, isn't this new planet great. It's all terraformed and ready for us." A light throaty voice purred out as the rubbing continued.

Wonderful. More hackneyed science fiction.

The smooth and warm, almost suede-like paws continued to rub as something shifted around behind him and another set of paws, these ones heavier, furry and broad wrapped around his chest and rubbed, pressing tightly against his pectorals in a way that made his whole body loosen up. Were there two of them? Or . . . You know what, no. It's better just not knowing. Whatever weird sci-fi could just do what it wanted as long as it wanted so long as it only ended up in a back . . . and front massage.

"This will give us our own chance to live, away from the problems that forced us to flee. We all owe you our lives, and we're so glad that you've come with us sister." The paws ground in as she spoke and Simon's chest began to feel nice, with a soft warm tingling that made his spine seem to stretch out and twist.

There was an odd popping noise, and the sensation intensified, but just felt better and better. Simon's tongue lolled from the corner of his mouth as he reluctantly sat up to see exactly what was going on. The process was a strange one as there just seemed to be more of him than there previously was, and his spine contorted oddly as the creature behind him continued to knead and rub.

This was certainly a strange one. How to describe it? Well, think of a centaur, then replace the horse parts with the parts of some great gray leopard-like cat. After that, forget the half and half part and just cover the whole thing with fur an claws and what not. Also, pay special attention to her rather large bust, pink paw pads, and lack of clothing as she lay sprawled out on the floor not unlike a big fuzzy cushion herself.

Simon blinked his eyes in the light of the canvas tent, trying to make sure that he was seeing everything correctly as she wrapped her hands around his chest and drew him towards her, front paws pressed in along his backbone as an impaled cushion fell from one of his black horns. He moaned out in pleasure as she squeezed at his flesh and he looked down and found out why. His flat chest had swelled out, light fluffy fur blooming along it as his pink nipples thickened while she teased them expertly. The sensation was strange and he made to pull away, but his body didn't seem to work quite right as she purred against him and her hand-paws grasped around his swelling bust as her oddly dexterous front legs pawed along his spine.

"Calm, sister. I know it's strange. But trust me, this will make life on this planet so much easier for you." She pulled her body close to his, soft feminine mounds pressed against his back as her front paws continued to press in above his cracking back. Simon let out a strange mewling sigh, trying to protest as his stomach began to feel strange. Looking down, he saw his skin bulging as two separate writhing masses pressed out, and his jaw hung open as he felt muscles writhe and swell under his now gray furred skin as a forming set of paws that haltingly crackled out while his back stretched longer and his body twisted along with it.

"There." She carefully rolled him over onto his back as his vestigial limbs pawed at the air, growing thicker and stronger as Simon's goat-hoofed rear legs thickened up a little as well, completing his strange tauric midsection as his spotted coat grew in with thick plush warmth along the front part of his new body. The point where his humanoid spine met his quadrupedal one was incredibly pliant, and his whole body felt completely new and unusual. This was making Simon more than a little uncomfortable, and he ran a hand over his new pert fuzzy breasts, canine tongue lapping up across his black nose as he brushed past his nipples, making his draconic tail writhe in pleasure. He wondered if this was really what it felt like, so soft and sensitive . . .

"Mmm, you're so very close sister." She purred as she inverted herself against him, body moving with a sinuous grace as she bent her head in behind his caprine hindquarters and ran her rough feline tongue against the loose skin of his gray and tan testes, making his fur stand on end as he gritted his teeth, tentacles shivering.

He barely thought about the questionable dialog as his new body stretched out in pleasure while the tongue scraped up across his taint, blazingly sensitive while his new forepaws hung in the air above him like a cat getting it's belly rubbed. Oh god. The feeling of that wet hot rasp scraping against him just got more and more intense, and his skin just felt so hot and needy. He could swear that he felt her sliding impossibly into him as he let out a hacking mewling barking burbling wheeze of pleasure while his thick based barbed member bobbed against his furry belly.

"Feel free to help my sister." She rubbed against the side of his head with the fuzzy skin between her hind legs and something hot and pulsing with a smell that made his mouth water as she lapped impossibly far inside of him, making hot fleshy lips well out around her rough tongue as she pressed further into his forming femininity, crowned with a pulsing clit.

Front claws clenching, Simon looked to the side to see what she meant, and found his muzzle inches from her throbbing smooth pink member that leaked a glistening feline bead of pre against his furry cheek. Below her heavy testes rest her glistening feline pussy, leaking out feminine pleasure.

Nope. Definitely nope. He shook his head. Simon had been so close to just . . . doing it; leaning in and taking that hard musky member into his muzzle and pawing at her tight testes as he teased her tight quivering clit and . . .

He had to get out of here . . .

Simon got up awkwardly, new quadrupedal stance feeling oddly natural as he clumsily clopped and padded towards the flap of the tent, wings arranging themselves awkwardly as his writhing black tentacles reached back towards the cat woman . . .err . . . thing.

"Sawrrree. Nawrrt Intwerresrrd." He mumbled awkwardly as he lifted the flap and and walked out into the harsh sun of the . . . intercity urban alley?

Tail trailing behind his clopping rear hooves, he took a few steps and looked around the suddenly dim street filled with dumpsters and nondescript refuse. This was not a place Simon wanted to be, especially with the nature of the previous carts that had been loaded. He paced towards the end of the alley as someone in a tan trench coat seeped from the darkness and stood in front of him.

"Gecko hands." A deep and needlessly gruff voice said with a clipped Bostonian accent.

"Whuurt?"

"Gecko Hands. Just like we agreed on. Just what a world class cat burglar like you needs, and I'm the only one who can get them for you. So where's the 150 MU you promised me huh?" He paced nervously as he spoke, and Simon could see his odd face as he walked closer.

It seemed immediately comical to see a lizard in a trench-coat, wearing and old fashioned fedora and smoking a thin cigarette as it spoke. Simon was a little taken aback as its wide long tongue licked up over its own wide eyes after it finished speaking, but at this point he didn't really care.

Not wanting to try his voice, Simon shrugged in the universal language of "I'm broke," and his bared breasts heaved enticingly as he did so, making him finish by wrapping and arm over the soft furred mounds bashfully.

"Tough customer huh? I knows you have the funds. After a caper like the one you pulled, how couldn't you? Well here, the stuff works, I got proof." The lizard took an ampule out of his pocket, looking from side to side shiftily as he grasped Simon's hand, carefully avoiding the waving tentacles as he placed the strange capsule in it.

There was a sudden sharp hiss and Simon yowled out and dropped the ampule like he'd been bit, shaking his stinking hand as he looked down and saw his fingers beginning to flatten out at the tips, small greenish scales creeping over his hands as the ends of his digits started to pulse with an odd prickly sensation. He looked down at his other hand as it followed suit, but the changes didn't stop there. They crept up his arms, green scales joined by small maroon spots that dappled across the last of his human flesh as he watched with an angry frown.

Twitching his fingers, he scowled at the shady lizard in the trench-coat, baring his teeth and growling.

"What? All I said was that I'd get you the hands, I never promised anything about side effects . . ." His sentence ended with a whuff of air as Simon grabbed his collar and slammed him into the brick side of the alley, muscles all bulging as his new form tensed with constrained power.

"Alright. Alright! Consider it a free sample, just put me down!" The lizard squeaked out as Simon loosened his grip and the wily reptile darted away . . . straight up the wall. "The boss'll hear about this!" He shouted as he climbed up over the edge of the roof.

Simon shrugged and placed his hands together, the ruff of hair on the back of his neck rising up as they stuck and he slowly peeled them apart. God, the sensation was just ramped up to eleven on this one, and he fanned his fingers out and was careful not to touch anything as he could feel his hefty member begin to throb slightly below him.

Walking towards the end of the alley, Simon saw something strange. There was a large section of the wall that had been knocked out, with bricks and plaster crumbled at the ground. He looked inside, and his ears perked up in surprise as he saw something unexpected. It was the same high ceilinged white ballroom from his original cart! Well . . . kind of. The room was the same, but that was about it.

The werewolf policemen were still fucking each other in a furious tangle of fur and limbs, and his nose twitched as he smelled their arousing musk even from this far back. The McCormic's Chicken was loading up one of the tables with deviled eggs, omelets, meringues, and other sundries. The guests seemed to love them, some of them so much that they were sprouting feathers and stretching out of their clothes as they consumed more and more.

Reclining and taking up an entire corner of the room, the blue scaled dragoness growled out gouts of flame as a car sized slick mass of sentient opaque black goo wriggled and writhed around her femininity, extending pulsing pseudopods into her needy entrance that made her wings shake and her body shudder.

The devil had made fast friends with a bunch of professional lawyers, and they were all carousing as the pack of suit clad legalists sprouted horns and goatees as they all drank together. Behind that, the Gryphon and the Wolfhound had drawn a large group into their nonsensical argument, and people were slowly changing into one or another as they took sides.

He saw the gray cat-leopard-centaur-thing sashaying its way towards him as the lizard in a trench-coat scrabbled along the ceiling, giving him the evil eye. This was pure insanity, and his head swam as he saw Mark Twain sitting back in a chair and shaking his head as he continued to smoke pensively.

"Oh sister, I'm so glad you came." The leopardess purred, rubbing her soft silky flanks against him as she turned. "I'm in season, and your new body just looks so right . . ." She raised her hindquarters in the air, tail waving about and revealing the slick pussy behind her furry testes.

Simon tried to ignore it, but his lupine nose huffed in, and the air was filled with the delicious reek of sex. His own member ached beneath him, seeming to draw him forwards as he bent down and drew in her dual natured feline scent that seeped directly into his mind. Moving of their own accord, his front paws raised his body up, pulling him on top of her solid furry form as his rear hooves clacked against the ground and his broad blue tail swayed behind him, raised up with fanned feathers to reveal his cloaca and tight pink female slit.

Paws wrapping around her haunches, the chaos around him disappeared for the briefest of seconds as he focused on the feeling of her under him while the point of his hybridized member caught in her hot folds and he slammed himself into her as she moaned out a yowling note of bliss as her torrid insides clenched around the strange slick rod, shivering as his spines caught and rubbed against her and his knot stretched her labia wider as it bumped against her. His breasts mashed against her back as his flat fingered hands reached around and grasped at her own, teasing the flesh of her nipples with their strange gripping tips.

"A demonstration is in order!"

Simon's ears raised in surprise as the monocled gryphon grasped his tail with his well manicured talons. The fan of feathers at the base of his tail twitched as the classy beast thrust forwards, clacking his beak as he slipped inside of Simon's glistening avian cloaca with a smooth stroke. Simon's insides lit up in an explosion of sensation as the perfectly abrasive little spines tickled the passage on the back thrust as the happy hybrid humped into him. Simon's own member kept pushing harder and harder against the writhing taur under him, stretching her a little wider every time as she mewled out in bliss.

The gryphon crowed in masculine jubilance as his short member jerked as spasmed, tugging at Simon's altered ass as he loosed thick ropes of hot and proper English seed into Simon's needy clenching avian depths.

"Nah! Yeh got it all wrong!" The gryphon was shoved aside rudely by the boisterous wolfhound, who guided his slick crimson canine member into Simon's swollen snatch with a deep thrust, sliding in until his knot bumped against the glistening pink labia, grinding against his hot button of a clit, making his hooves clack against the floor as he wriggled and writhed at the pleasurable contact.

The dragoness snaked her serpentine neck across the room, massive slavering hot tongue licking down across all three of their bodies as they continued to rock against each other. The feelings were immense as Simon ground his teeth together and howled out, hot knot of flesh stretching out the cat under him impossibly wide before it slammed home and locked them together, making his small jerking yanking thrusts tease his spines against her insides even as the hound behind him barked out and thrust in, knot squelching into Simon's female cleft with a satisfying body rocking shove, mashing their churning testicles together as

. . .

There was a great hydraulic hiss of air.

"Sorry to interrupt Mr. Grayson. We had some other clients complaining of a data leak." The technician looked in apologetically on Simon's prostrate form, completely embedded in the transmission apparatus.

Simon coughed and sputtered a bit, blinking at the light. "Uhh. Ohh. Are my two hours up?"

"No sir, you still have thirteen minutes left. Also, the management is willing to give everyone here today a free two hour session at a later date after we find the problem. But, you didn't encounter any bugs from the leak did you?"

Considering for a second, Simon cleared his throat. "Nnnnno. Nope. Everything here is just . . . hunky dory."

"I'm glad to hear that Mr. Grayson." The tech reached for the button to close the hatch.

"But, can you, uhh, save my cart list for today and send it to my comm account? I have a friend who wanted to know . . ."

"Sure thing Mr. Grayson. Enjoy the rest of your session." The door sealed shut and the 'trodes reactivated.

Simon shouted as his furry scaled and gooey body shuddered while his wings flapped and his testes churned, clenching out waves of heat into the needy leopard under him as the hound bayed and pulled up at his tail, filling his aching female sex with a gushing hot blast of canine seed. Simon howled out as the dragoness licked over his entire body and his wriggling tentacles reached out and slipped across the wall of hot pink flesh adoringly.

The time flew as Simon's senses were utterly exhausted in halting waves of musky animal bliss while everything swam around him and he yapped and howled out in absolute ecstasy, feeling the hound's rapid humping squeeze their balls together even as the delightful cat creature under him screamed out as her own member began to jerk pearly white jolts of feline seed against the floor as the whole room devolved into one great unbelievable orgy of writhing impossibility while Mark Twain sat back and gnawed on his cigar with a bushy eyebrow raised.

The empty tarpaulin sat ignored amidst the moaning insanity of it all, completely forgotten in the din of wild surreal lust.

It was easily the best thirteen minutes of Simon's life.