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That feeling you get

in the pit of your stomach

when you're pawing off on your bed

and you can hear him trudging up the stairs

coming down the hall

pausing outside your door

and you can see the shadows of his feet

and you wonder if he can hear the squelch of lube on your cock as you stroke

and as he hesitates for just a little too long

you finish yourself off silently

coating your paw while watching the door

your heart beating out of your chest

and he moves on

before your musk can hit the doorway.

That feeling you get

when you're out of the shower

grooming in front of the mirror

and he barges in behind you

because he has to piss and it can't wait

and he's too lazy to go downstairs

so he pushes through the steam

straddles the bowl

and parts his robe

and you can't see anything for sure but

you're pretty sure you see his sheath

and definitely some skin

and you can't miss the stream

and the noise it makes

so loud

so forceful

compared to your own

and you finally know why he can drive

for six hours without stopping.

That feeling you get

at the waterpark

when you two split off from Mom and your annoying little sister

and you're sharing the same locker because you only brought one lock

and he's talking to you and you're understanding

until he shoves down his white briefs

such a middle age thing

and first you gawk at his sheath

and second you gawk at his balls

and third you notice how much you look like him down there

and fourth you turn away before he catches you

and fifth you turn all the way because you're tingling and

maybe boning up

you don't know why

and if he sees he'll kill you

so you get your suit on

and leave

teasing him about being a slowpoke

when you just wish it would go down before he catches up to you.

That feeling you get

that one Saturday morning

when the girls are out shopping

and you're both home alone

in your rooms

and you share a wall

and you're gaming with headphones on

and something bumps the wall where you're resting your head

and you take them off

only to hear soft grunting coming from the other side

in his voice

no words

just sounds

and something rhythmic

that you know well

and in ten seconds flat

you've got your own paw between your legs

one ear plastered to the wall

not believing what you're hearing

but knowing it's true

until he gives out a series of breaths

six

seven

eight

and a heaving sigh

and your paw flies to catch up

but you're too chickenshit to vocalize back

so you bite your wrist

while spooging all over those headphones

he paid $300 for

and you hope it cleans off

because you'll never be able to explain it.

That feeling you get

when you wake up in the middle of the night

thirsty

so you leave your bedroom

and go downstairs to grab a bottle of water

and you see flickering light from the living room

and you remember the rents had a fight

so he's sleeping on the couch

except he's not sleeping on the couch

he's not sleeping at all

his right arm is moving in that unmistakable way

and you tiptoe to the back of the couch

but his paw is down his pajama pants

working

idly

and you're mesmerized by the motion

because you know what's behind that plaid

and it's Cinemax, nothing even that hardcore

from a few years back

but it's working for him

and his left paw shoves down

and it all pops out

the cock

the balls

everything

and holy shit you're the same size

nothing special

but it's totally special

because it's him

and he's exposed to you

and he has no idea

even when you push your briefs down

to stroke in time

heart like a train

musk in your nose

your balls roiling

edging for four long minutes

until you hear him gasp

and long lines of white paint his paw

run down his fingers

your ears ring

and you let fly

not caring where it lands

until the first shot hits the top of the couch just short of his neck

and you aim down because the second is always the biggest

and you thank your lucky stars Mom likes leather

because it'll be easier to clean come morning

so as he puts himself away you back up

toward the stairs

taking them two at a time

not believing what you just saw

not even thirsty anymore

and you jerk it twice again with that cock burned into your memory forever.

That feeling you get

when you're having lunch

or at the doctor's

or washing his car

and he comes out to see how you're doing

and you smile and make small talk

but all the while

you want to scream

I WATCHED YOU MASTURBATE

but all you do is smile

because if nothing happens ever again

you have that one memory

but you hope it happens again

because

because

because

you don't know.

That feeling you get

when you're pawing off in your bedroom

and you forgot to lock the door

and for some reason he barges in instead of knocking

and you're on display

six inches out

and his eyes get wide

and he apologizes

and your first instinct is to hide yourself

but for some reason you don't

and it's awkward at first

and then it's just hot

because he's not objecting

just staring

between your face and your dick

and he forces himself to keep your eyes

and states his business

and all the while you're still hard

and you respond to his questions

and you even start up again

real slow

but just enough so that he knows

and he apologizes again

tells you to be more careful

for your mother's sake

closes the door

right before you shoot yourself in the fucking eye

and it burns

but it was so worth it.

That feeling you get

when you mentally smack yourself

because you forgot to check out his pants for a bulge.

That feeling you get

in the middle of the night

when you're almost done gaming

and you want one more Mountain Dew

so you go downstairs

in just your white briefs

because who the hell cares at 2am

and you're all the way to the fridge before you realize

he's there

in the living room

no TV

just asleep

and you set the soda on the counter

adjust your already-full sheath

and pad over to the La-Z-Boy

where he sits fully reclined

in the same briefs

same brand

one size bigger

and an oversize t-shirt

with three distinct bulges between his legs

and you're so uncomfortable so you skin back your sheath

and dress left

like it matters

because if he wakes up

he's gonna see it no matter what.

That feeling you get

when you know you should know better

but you can't help it

it's right

fucking

there

the thing you've been thinking of for about ever

soft

unbothered

teasing you

but that's your heart putting words in your brain

the heart that jumps and flutters around your chest

making you more nauseous the closer your paw gets

and you know this could be the end

but you don't care

but you do

but you tell yourself that as your fingers find soft warmth and squeeze.

That feeling you get when he wakes up.

That feeling you get

when he looks down at your paw

and up at your eyes

and down

and up

and you wonder if his mind is going a million miles a second

just like yours is

and you know he knows

and you know he sees

your erection

smells it

how could he not

and you stand your ground

scared shitless

but you squeeze again

just barely

and his face betrays nothing

and you see what you're going to look like in thirty years

and it's not that bad

and he starts to fill out in your grasp

because he's a warm-blooded male

or maybe it's you

you can't tell

because he's not speaking

just swelling

and through the cotton he's pushing out of his sheath

just barely

and your fingertip is wet suddenly

and in the most neutral voice he can muster

says that you should go to bed

and you're relieved

because you're not blatantly in trouble

and that's got to count for something

doesn't it.

Doesn't it?

That feeling you get when you wake up the next morning

not knowing

simply not knowing.

That feeling you get

when you spend the next week

wondering why he won't talk to you about it

why he won't bring it up

and everything seems normal

seems

but the tension is there

not sexual tension

but tension tension

and it's killing you

softly

and all you want to do is ask him what he's thinking

but you're afraid of what he might say

but he hasn't rejected you

so there's that

and Mom doesn't know

because you'd know if she knew

and you wonder if you can go the rest of your life

never knowing

and you don't even know that.

That feeling you get

three weeks later

when you wake up

and it's 2am again

because your clock is right next to your pillow

but you're not alone

you can sense it

but you haven't moved

so you stare into the dark

and wait

and eventually you hear paws on the carpet

and you smell his scent before he even rounds the corner of the bed

and you feel the displacement of air

as he faces you and stops

standing

wearing only those briefs

you know

because they're so bright compared to his fur

pushed down under his belly while you wear yours up and over

and he's as hard as he can be

without busting out of the sheath

and there are questions you want to ask

but they would ruin the moment

ruin whatever this moment is

if it's even a moment at all

and you can't see his face

it's shielded by darkness

so you concentrate below

turn onto your side

and reach out for whatever you can get.

That feeling you get when you pull down his undies.

That feeling you get

when the cloud of musk hits you full on

right in the snout

two inches of pink

(you know it's pink because you're pink)

escaped already

and your side is getting sore

so you move to sit on the edge of the bed

and he backs up to let you

no words

no sounds

and comes back in close to meet your ready paws

you try to look up again

but he gently pushes on your muzzle

and you know you're not meant to

not tonight

so you cup his sac in one paw

and grip his sheath with the other

they're so big

so warm

so alive

and now he grunts

just enough so you can hear

and before you can get two strokes off

he grasps your shoulder

claws digging

drawing blood

trembling

and suddenly everything is sticky and hot

and the scent overwhelming

you gasp

and it's all over

and he steps away

pulls his underwear off

and walks out.

That feeling you get

one minute later

when you use his cum as lube

wear his whities like a hat

and sniff the front like a line of fine cocaine

as you make your own puddles on your chest.

That feeling you get

when for the next week

he doesn't even acknowledge that anything's happened

and the only thing more maddening

is not knowing if it'll ever happen again.

That feeling you get the next night when he sidles around the door

without bothering to keep quiet

locks it

climbs onto the bed

already naked

straddles your chest

paws pressed against the wall

and waits for your move

and there's only a thin sheet

keeping your sheath from his tailhole

because you sleep naked now

because you've been hoping

and he's closer than ever

and the only logical thing you can think to do

is stick your tongue out and lick his balls

hot and silky

so heavy

so full

and as if reading your mind

whispers, "Not since last time"

a paw on your head

not guiding

just there

stroking the tip of one ear

and you can't take it anymore

so you take a cheek in each paw

and engulf him

pushing his sheath down with your lips

past the shaft

past the knot

flavor flooding your tongue

wondering if he knows this is your first time

and once your teeth are covered

you zone out

and your whole world is the cock between your lips

and when your neck gets sore

he holds you still

paw on your neck

and gently fucks your throat

and you never gag

you're so proud of yourself

you can't even wrap your brain around what's happening

like all your hopes and dreams wrapped up in this one night

and why is he doing this

why won't he talk about it

but he's never been the talking type

so he bumps his knot against your fangs

growls from somewhere deep down inside

the warning never comes

your throat is just suddenly full

and you're swallowing

and swallowing

it's not that bad

but it's enough to keep you busy

and how can he stay so silent

is he hot for you

is he just mad

but when he pulls off

and you taste him

ambrosia

he dismounts

saunters into your bathroom

that echo of piss again

and when he's about to leave

you call his name to his shadow

and he tells you to go to bed

so you do

but not before taking care of yourself

and this time

you keep your wrist away

and don't hold back.

That feeling you get

when the days go by

one

two

three

and you can't concentrate at school

and your grades are starting to slip

and you wonder what you'll say when he brings up your report card

you can try to blame it on him

but it won't work

and you try to figure out what to do

and you have no answer

because he's harder to read than ever

and you thought the sex was supposed to bring you closer

and you wonder if you've created a monster.

That feeling you get

when your mom announces a trip to your ailing aunt

and she's taking your sister

and the look he gives you at breakfast

those eyes

make you feel like prey.

That feeling you get

after they've left

and you've tucked yourself in

but you can't go to sleep

because you can't get his eyes out of your mind

and as soon as Mom's car leaves

he's on the stairs

up the stairs

in your door so fast you yelp

on the bed

on top of you

naked

when did he have time to get naked

belly to belly

bulge to bulge

nose to nose

remnants of dessert on his breath

banana pudding

and vanilla wafers

and in the low light the nightshine in his eyes

casts fear into your heart

and as he pins your wrists to the bed

he says, "This is all your fault."

That feeling you get when he shoves his tongue against yours.

That feeling you get

when all you can do is lay there

and be molested

enjoying every precious second

because each could be the last

before he comes to his senses

but he's still kissing you

breathing out his nose

hard

snot on your cheek ruff

pre on your sheets

on your sheath

and he finally pulls off

and away

tears the bedding down

rolls you onto your belly

like you're resisting

rumbles, "You brought this on yourself"

and proceeds to eat you out.

That feeling you get

that no words could ever hope to describe.

That feeling you get

when you're trying to form words

but all that comes out is sounds

deep

guttural

uninhibited

and he matches you volume for volume

and you had no idea your butt could feel so good

just like the stories

just like the videos

he has to be a foot inside there

his thumbs spreading you wide

your fur matted

slick

and he lets up with one last spit

right on that hole

and he's pinning you down

and you feel its heat

and thickness

prodding at you

and you hope you can take it

and then you do take it

whether you like it or not

and you do

you like it a hell of a lot

the pain is beautiful

and at least he makes sure you're comfortable

before he starts plowing

but after that there's no restraint

and your entire world is that connection

that spreading

those nerves

the man who made you

proving his virility once again

taking out his frustrations

showing he cares the only way he knows how

and you manage to wrest a paw free

to shove down

and feel the place where your flesh meets his

and feel the motion

and feel the stretching

and feel his knot start to swell

and feel each and every shot of seed as he bellows

"God DAMMIT why, son?"

sixteen

sixteen shots

the bed soaked beneath you

you never touched yourself

and he collapses

like a house of cards

and all you can do is breathe

and stare into space

thinking you must be dreaming

but then he begins snoring

and you know you're not

and it lulls you to sleep

but the dreams never come.

That feeling you get

when you wake up

in the not-light just before daybreak

and he's spooning you

asleep

one strong arm around your chest

his sheath nestled between your buttocks

and you never want to leave.

That feeling you get

when you wake up

on your back

your cock surrounded by heat

and you look down

to see him nursing on your hardon

clumsily

and you tell him he doesn't have to

and he says thank you

because he doesn't know if he can

and you understand

because even if he can't

you can

and as you crawl between his legs

looking up over his belly

at his face

with his cock just below your lips

you meet his gaze

and go down

oh so slowly

buried in his scent

because nothing says, "I love you"

like sucking the seed out of your sire.

That feeling you get

whenever he gives you that look

passing in the hall

playing footsie under the dinner table

watching the game

changing the spark plugs

when you know tonight's going to be

one of those nights

and he still hasn't been able to talk about it

about what's really in his head

but you figure

if you give him enough time

he'll come around

and one night

while you're still tied

he'll share with you

why he decided to take the chance

what made up his mind

what it was you did

or if it was all him

but it really doesn't make a difference

because you're here

and he's here

and that's all that matters.

That's the kind of feeling you get.