Luca's Story Ch. 4
Technically my first adult submission. This is not, however, something that the yiffy-minded will think is something worth fapping to, unless you're just one twisted individual. There is a pedophilia scene in here involving father/daughter. I neither condone or approve of such behavior, as you'll probably see in the way this story goes.
Chapter IV--Realizations
_When people ask him how he likes this place...
He looks up and says, with a smile upon his face,_
_"This is my temporary home
It's not where I belong.
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through.
This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going.
I'm not afraid because I know this is my
Temporary Home."_
- Carrie Underwood, "Temporary Home"
Soft singing in the distance.
Luca's eyes stir behind her eyelids.
The singing gets louder. There is a piano accompanying the pretty young voice. Sounds like a girl of no more than ten.
Luca sits up, aching all over. She can't quite figure out where she is. The bed on which she lay is stained crimson all over. Stuffed animals sit on the rug, staring at her with those judgmental little marble eyes of theirs. All around is whiteness. All around is void.
Luca steps onto the rug, standing slowly. She is in a white nightgown, and it is when she is standing she finally notices something--
"--Oh my gosh..."
Looking down at herself, Luca sees the swell of a pair of breasts underneath her nightgown. Running her hands over them, she shudders slightly, elation filling her. They feel just as real and natural as they should. Slowly, her hands run down her belly, inching towards that phallus that never was meant to be. Nothing. She hiked her nightgown up quickly, staring in awe at her body. Everything proper for a young woman like her, everything as it should be. Tears began to fall, soaring through the open space for what seemed like an eternity before striking the rug down below.
"Feels good, doesn't it?"
Luca gave out a gasp of shock, letting the nightgown drop quickly as she whipped around to see the owner of the voice. She couldn't believe her eyes.
"Robin? Are you dead too?"
Robin shook her head slowly. "I don't think so, and I don't think you are, either." She beckoned Luca with a finger, indicating a nearby window that wasn't there before, simply hanging in white space like it was always meant to be there.
Tentatively, carefully, Luca took her first step off the rug. Her foot met with blankness, but went no further. From there she kept stepping, more confident now. Robin slid a friendly arm around Luca as she got up next to her to peer through the window. What they were seeing hardly seemed to make sense.
On the other side was an emergency room, and they were peering down into it. Luca's body lay in the middle of the fray, uniform torn apart to get to her chest--that horribly flat thing, Luca thought--and the paddles were jolting her seemingly lifeless body nearly clear off the bedding. Her wrists looked to have been glued shut with medical glue, and two bags of blood were hanging on either side of the bed. Obviously they had been trying to transfuse blood when her heart finally gave.
"Am I going to live?"
"I don't know, I'm just a manifestation in your head," Robin replied matter-of-factly.
Luca looked down at her body, feeling over it again through the nightgown. "So this... This isn't real?"
Robin turned to her. "It's as real as you want it to be."
Luca turned again, following the sound of the singing. It was still there, along with the very distant voices and shouts of the people trying to save her life. "What is that music, anyway?" Luca began stepping towards the sound, straining to hear more. Finally she saw a piano fading into view, being played by a young white lapine girl. She was adorably done up in a little baby blue dress with pink bows and pink pumps. Her white fur was so much like--
"--Yeah, that's me as a bun," Robin said simply.
Luca shook her head slightly. "Why would I be seeing you in a time I didn't even know you, if we're really just in my own head?"
Robin shrugged. "It's your head, I'm just along for the ride, as well as some help in insights."
Just as Luca was about to ask what she meant by that, an older rabbit, this one much taller and more well-built than Luca's father, also with that same all-white fur, sat down next to the young girl. He smiled at her, she smiled at him. Then his hand went to the young girl's knee. The playing faltered for a moment, but then continued. His hand slid up, disappearing underneath the bottom hem of the dress. The playing kept faltering, but the girl kept playing. Tears were in her eyes now, but she refused to stop.
"Daddy used to tell me if I kept playing it would be like nothing was ever happening," Robin said, her voice seeming to drift off. "He told me all girls did this with their daddies, but good ones forgot about it in the music."
Luca's hand went over her mouth in shock. She couldn't watch any more. "Stop it! Stop it you bastard!" She screamed, running forward at the piano and the duo that sat on the bench. The image vaporized the minute she made contact with the pair. She turned to Robin. "Why would you show me something like that?"
Robin shook her head. "I didn't. You showed it to yourself. Don't you remember being younger, how you'd try to spy in at girl's houses?" Robin said, sauntering up to Luca. "Don't you remember getting caught at girl's windows, getting a hellacious spanking for it, even though, ultimately, it was simply you trying to see what you were supposed to be?"
Luca shook her head. "No, I don't remember ever seeing that."
Robin's hand went to Luca's shoulder, steadying her. "It's in your head, Luca."
"Why now? Why would I remember now?"
Robin shrugged. "Who else did you meet during the summer before sixth grade?"
Luca thought for a moment. "Ronnie. That was when he moved to the house a couple doors down."
"He was all into sports and boy stuff, wasn't he?"
"Yeah, I never particularly liked him for that--back then I mean. Dad made us hang out a lot, though, since Ronnie's dad was partnering with him."
"So then what changed?"
"I stopped wanting to be a girl. Or, at least I thought I did."
"Why?"
Luca bit her lip, the memories wanting to come, but she wasn't sure she wanted them. Inevitability was a bitch, though, and finally everything came back to her.
_Luke was crawling his way through the bushes. This'll be the last time, I swear, he thought to himself as he slowly rose up to the windowsill. He'd gotten his ass beaten so many times for sneaking up and spying on girls he was still sore. But he had to see just this one last house. It was that odd girl, the one who was always quiet in class, carrying a tape player on her all the time. He wanted to see what all girls were like, not just the popular ones. But to hang out with them in school would give him cooties, or something like that. He never did pay much attention to those gender games as a child.
Inside, Robin was playing her piano, just as she always did whenever she could. This time, however, she was all dressed up for the occasion. Daddy preferred when she wore those kinds of clothes, but Luke did not know that. All he saw was a pretty dress. A pretty dress he wanted.
Watching the girl play and sing along, he saw movement from the stairwell. Ducking down a little bit, Luke tried to keep out of sight. He didn't want to be seen by the girl's daddy. When he was sure he wasn't seen, he got a little bolder, lifting his head up more to see what was happening.
What Luke did see, he couldn't comprehend. All he knew that it was bad. Very bad. Robin was left crying and sobbing at the piano as her daddy did something to her under her dress, and at the same time rubbed at himself in the way other boys from school were doing.
"Keep playing," he heard the older man growl at her as she faltered with the keys several times. Robin struggled and finally got back into the melody.
Robin's father finally shuddered and jerked on the chair, and he wiped something onto the little girl's dress. "Now clean up before your mother gets home," he said in a threatening tone. Standing, he marched on up the stair from whence he came.
Luke ran. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him. He would not dream of being a girl anymore, he told himself as bushes whipped at his shins, creating bloody raking patterns. He would not put on girl's clothes again, he would not play with makeup, he would get rid of the dolls he hid under his bed. Luke would be a boy. Luke would play with Ronnie, get into sports. Luke would learn to run fast, like Ronnie. He would play catch, like Ronnie._
Luca was on her knees, sobbing into her hands. Robin was kneeling beside her, rubbing Luca's back and reassuring her with a soft, humming tune--just not that song.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, Luca looked up at Robin. "I'm so sorry, Robin. I never..." She wanted to say knew, but really, it was like she didn't want to know. Robin simply hugged her again. It was such familiar hug, that warm embrace, followed by the kiss on the forehead.
"It's ok, nobody did. But think about it, Luca. Would any of your issues that have occurred now had you not seen what you did there?"
Luca thought about it, and shook her head no.
"This is what I'm trying to show you. The actions of all furres tie into the actions of all others. You can't be blamed for Ronnie's suicide, or your parents' horrible fight. There comes a point where one must simply try to be who and what they are, and take actions based on that. The results, whether they can be described as bliss or aftermath, are going to happen. You couldn't have foreseen the future no more than my father could have foreseen the kind of damage he did to the both of us back then."
Luca held herself close to Robin, the embrace tightening. "Oh, and Luca?" Luca lifted her head to meet Robin's gaze. "Flagellating yourself for penance? C'mon, I know we have some depressing rituals for the Kol Nidrie, but you don't need to go medieval on yourself for your forgiveness."
Luca stifled a bit of a giggle. She stood up again, Robin's arm around her waist, her arm around Robin's waist. They strode back to the window. "I want to see if I made it through," she whispered hoarsely.
"You sure about that, hun?"
"Yeah. There's so much I have to do now. So many people I need to see."
"Glad to see you back on your feet, hun."
Luca smiled to Robin, then looked into the window. It was night time. The doctors were gone, the body that belonged to her lay in bed, life signs stable. There was still half a bag of O- blood hanging from one side, and an IV drip on the other. What surprised her most, however, was her dad, passed out on the armchair in the room in a rather uncomfortable position. He was the only one there. A book lay in his lap. It was another IASB publication, she was sure. She could tell from the very unornamented, bureaucratic look of it.
Luca turned to Robin. "How can I ever thank you?"
"You're the one to thank. I'm just a projection, hun. You pulled through this on your own."
Luca nodded, and hugged Robin tightly. "Go kick some ass," Robin said, and was gone.
Luca opened her eyes. The bland ceiling of a hospital room was staring back at her. She turned her head, seeing the motor controls for her bed. She reached out and started tilting the head of the bed upwards, not wanting to strain herself. She felt week, and the world around felt much heavier than it did just a few minutes ago with Robin.
Randal stirred at the sound of the electric motor in the hospital bed. Lifting his head from the odd angle, he rubbed at the sore spot that had formed there with irritation before he realized what he was seeing. Luca was there, smiling back at him, her beautiful blue eyes shimmering slightly in the residual moonlight that made its way into the room. Her long hair had cascaded down to each side of her face. For the first time since this entire ordeal started, Randal saw his daughter as she should be. "Luca... I'm so sorry for what I've done."
Luca didn't say a word. It was the first time her father had ever said her real name to her, and she opened her arms to him, wanting nothing more than to hug him tight.
He went to her, and she did.