A Spell of Perception 3: Moribund

Story by Plexadonn on SoFurry

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#3 of A Spell of Perception


Here is part three. Now that Freddy and Ned have agreed to 'date', I decided to focus on character development and psychology with this one. I put a lot of soul and effort into this one, and it's based off of many of my own hopes/fears/desires, blah blah blah. It was intended to be much much longer than this, but I thought the ending here worked pretty well as a good break until part 4.

Don't be alarmed by the Domination/submission thing. It's very mild here and not cheesy-like. There is also a tiny bit of exhibitionism in this one. And yes, there is a big homage to my fursona, Plexadonn, here, but he plays no part in the main story.

Soundtrack: for music, the main soundtrack is still "Fourth World, Vol. 1: Possible Musics" by Jon Hassell and Brian Eno. This album is necessary to get the correct mood of the story, for it was written in conjunction. Of course, it's not necessary to read, of course. "Spiritchaser" by Dead Can Dance is the second best option. Lastly, any DCD, Brian Eno, Harold Budd, Lisa Gerard, Brendan Perry, Steve Roach and the like will suffice.

Please let me know of any major mistakes or inconsistencies I'd appreciate it greatly. This is copyright Ian Tucker.

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~^'^'^~*~^'^'^~ Section 3, "Moribund", days 10 through 30

Day 10

The repose from life, so utterly relaxing, and the peace of sleep had been of great consequence. It felt as though it was the proper way to spend his time: not in eternal solitude and pessimism. In particular, Freddy had speculated numerous times through much of the past few months of emotional turmoil that such a scenario - of the night in prelude to the next morning of his being coiled on a bed with the white bear - would have sufficed to be the greatest remedy to his weariness and sadness.

However, the contradiction - soon after coming to such a conclusion - was quickly noticed. Freddy, moving from the bedside after awakening at the morn, reviewed the upstart to happiness in a light of shame. That he could be so easily convinced of the drastic alteration to his plans, though, went relatively unchecked.

This said, outloud from his lips as he washed his hands and face in the restroom sink, he could now only review it continuously, compulsively, in his head: his goals in mortal life. First, Freddy was determined to obtain the passage into medical school, and the subsequent failure in his admittedly impassive attempts had both strengthened his resolution and brought a grain of misery to him.

Soon following this destruction of his willpower to accept that his own actions were so unsettling, he simply allowed the detachment from logic... he became comfortable with the struggle to avail in his achievements, and after prolonged experiences with frustration and the elated feeling of anger, he became satisfied - in a certain manner - with the attitude that it gave him to wield.

He became pessimistic and cold. The human shielded himself from the universe, mentally proclaiming that everything and everyone was only costing him his ability, and impeding in the most obscure and vaguest of possibilities. Combined, the comfort and satisfaction joined to create his masochistic demeanor. A preclude of destruction, including all the auxiliaries of mistrust and irritation.

Excluding, however, the essence of friendship and ultimate love.

These last two possibilities, then, where the second phase in Freddy's life now, in the tale of his life in this city and his adventure. Where previously, he was sure that only - and he was strict in this belief - only the entrance into his final career, and the utter satisfaction of finally obtaining the way, would conclude that chapter in his life, would make him happy.

Never once had he considered the other subject. He remembered, as he moved from the restroom and back into the bedroom to watch his lover sleep, that these were the enemy. Ned, Gloria, those dog twins in The Den, his parents... all had only been silly obstacles to stop him, to make everything he ever did more difficult. The few people he knew of or briefly heard talk of that professed true, undying love for another person did nothing to convince him. In fact, they did nothing to interest him, for he thought the notions were dead and undeserving of his attention.

Only now could he ask himself if that all was incorrect. That perhaps -he- was the enemy. His own victim, and his own villain. In a way, Freddy acted as a villain to all of those around him. Never had these possibilities occurred to him

These new emotions had so quickly ensconced him, so fascinatingly submerged him entirely in its novel impressions and foreign tributaries. It seemed to fan and spread through everything as if maddening wildfire, rampaging and engulfing each, single pool of thought... all of those intrigues of hate or misery or regret. It crippled the infrastructure of the monuments that formed all of his plans. Those majestic and hurtful resolutions that spelled loneliness and selfishness.

Smoldering beneath him, afloat now... Freddy could feel tears of immense and quite astounding surprise descending down his face; the veils seemed to have been destroyed along with his temple. Burnt and ruined, stabbing with pain in all of his nerves.

Freddy thought of death then. Ned was so vulnerable, as Freddy himself certainly was. If ideals could be fractured and turned to charred dust so easily, how could an immortal soul withstand its own flesh taken away...? When could a violent death be comforting...?

Now, Freddy was overcome with thought, where musings of death now coincided with the thought of love and pleasure and new life. It all merged into a twisting fountain that prescribed only confusion. He bent forward and embraced the bear, who stirred, awoke enough to smile and bring his friend closer.

Freddy only wanted the comfort of that company, wanted only to feel the draining sorrow - the emptying of his murky, stagnant pain - and feel the warmth of love. He wanted nothing of the fear of how painful death would now be, to either of those beings. That original foundation gone, a new and strange one now built in its place. The human could not withstand another shattering obliteration, and knew quite well that Ned would have to remain with him until...

For it did not matter, then. If an eternal light existed, Freddy was convinced that this was it. In all the glory of this feeling, he was so obsequiously drowning in it, reveling in the pain and humility and joy, there existed no other, grander promise beyond the boundaries of a narrow-minded view on The Universe.

Several minutes passed in which Freddy found himself relaxed on the bed, enough to the point where he could finally recognize how bothersome all these meandering thoughts were, and he meditated. Idly scratching an itch that appeared on his chest, he re-discovered that foreign wound whose existence to Ned he had confessed as a lie. He probed an index finger along the narrow scar that had formed and wondered who caused it, Jorg or his friend. The dull ache that he been present soon after his attack was gone now and it only hurt when Freddy pushed down on his sternum. This was a sign that no bones were bruised or broken, otherwise the pain would only have intensified.

The paranoia of this new acquaintance was astoundingly minimal. That he had quite subtly and eloquently threatened the lives of him and his friends, and his general safety, seemed to be of little consequence to him. Reviewing it moreover now that his thoughts on love and death had concluded and he was free again to roam, he could only come to one possibility.

Freddy was sure, not totally convinced of course, that these men and their goals were more interested in attaining their information with quiet, albeit clandestine, methods of operation. That said, it was obvious they would rather Freddy willingly give in to them, and not force it with further violence or intimidating assassinations. He hoped that if he were to continually refuse, they would consider him a lost cause and move on to some other victim to harass.

Now, it was to the point that his thoughts, so negative and relatively inconsequential, truly began to annoy him, thus he focused more on his meditation than deliberation.

Freddy returned to his slumber, alongside his friend. There in the room they remained for several more hours, snuggled very closely together in utter comfort. Truly, though, Freddy was not completely comfortable, for now that he was no longer tucked underneath the blanket, and his body much cooled down from the heated exertion of the night before, he felt cold.

Awkward as well, clinging so precariously to his friend whose position permitted no easy way of holding on with arms and legs. Thus, he woke again. It did not matter; Freddy could not keep from gazing with adoration at the bear, finding his parted mouth and twitching ears endearing. He applied kisses every so often.

~^'^'^~*~^'^'^~

Evidently, Freddy found himself in a predicament. Of course, Ned would be involved as well. But with the plan laid out before them, and the confidence displayed by its creator - Ned - Freddy resigned any further argument and merely let his hopes lay with Ned. The human had to work that morning, and he had awoken the bear to tell him so, then with some deliberation with Ned needing to attend to his job as well, the bear had stated he would take the human lover home, where he would immediately depart for his shop, leaving Freddy a quarter of an hour to arrive at the hospital.

While on his own, being in charge of only himself, Freddy had always given himself approximately this same amount of time in order to successfully achieve his workplace. Yet coming from another's mouth, it now seemed a bit precarious. How he was giving himself not a single minute's leeway in order to prepare for emergencies or some sort of disaster befalling that would make him unable to get to the hospital, Freddy wondered if he should change his scheduled ways.

And obviously, Freddy rather would remain with the bear and not return to his dismal apartment that was always occupied by a gloomy pall. Necessary, of course, and that Ned seemed to agree with him to leave a bit early - only finally coming to this conclusion to satisfy Freddy's paranoia and force him to stop looking so glum and shut up - was a minor disappointment. Fortunately, for Freddy's peace of mind, he realized his persistent idiocy, and gave himself room in order to stop it.

The two males breakfasted there in the house, the morning meal created by the two ursine beings and receiving many appreciated thanks from Freddy, who was forbidden to aid in the preparation and allow his hosts the honor.

Mercedie was much more polite now. Whether it was from a bad mood that had dissolved over the course of sleep, or because Ned had insisted she display a feigned, jovial attitude, Freddy did not know. He did ponder over it, among other many thoughts, during the light breakfast and disorganized conversations held over it.

The sister seemed to have absolutely no concerns for the human. Possibly because she did not like the species, or simply company itself? With those, Freddy was unsure whether to feel insulted or ashamed. Armed with these two irrational concepts, he proceeded to justify his reciprocating remarks to anything she said, or completely ignored her.

It comforted him, as was his aforementioned method of dealing with people whom he considered undesirable or difficult. She seemed to be contemptuous, and thus he would mirror it, but insistently remaining polite and making himself a gracious host.

This continued for only a few minutes, until other possibilities for her behavior approached in Freddy's head. It had been the sight of them together that had triggered her resentment. This Mercedie was one of the folk that believed that homosexuality was destructive, that its abstinence from the reproductive abilities of hetero couples, and the blatant disregard for the continuation of mortal life, was shameful.

Of course, the policies of allowing all forms of love and sex to be practiced, and the populace's distinct recognition that love and happiness in any safe and secure form should be encouraged, guaranteed that homosexuality was indeed acceptable. Yet still, some were found to believe that a person who practiced strict homosexuality was viewed as immature and silly.

Ah, of course. Now Freddy understood her perfectly. She looked upon him as a child. She saw him as a silly boy who willingly discarded his understanding and respect for his own species, being gay and staying that way permanently. Further recognition came to the human then; not only did Mercedie think his orientation idiotic, but now she knew he was one of the human supremacists.

Like much of the general human population on Kologa, Freddy did indeed believe his species to be superior in every way possible; but he most certainly did not exhibit this belief like many of his kith. It was a belief, simply there and existing to be understood and acknowledged, not to be preached and proclaimed as if the will of the old deities or other nonsense.

But whatever of these many nonsensical notions was true, it did not matter to Freddy. They, and she, certainly did not affect his life. His reveries were broken by Ned standing and requesting Freddy to accompany him outside, and they would begin the traveling. Farewells were made, a handshake, and then the two males left in Ned's vehicle towards the human's apartment, in another part of the city.

During the drive, Freddy tried to relax in the seat, with his left hand across the bear's broad shoulders, doing his best to feel the comfort of simply being in such close proximity. Ned enjoyed it, and gave a few heartfelt kisses, making sure he kept his eyes on the road in order not to come to any accidents.

Freddy would much rather have remained silent and continued to nuzzle his friend, inhaling through his short nose the thick and pleasant scent of his lover, letting the white fur of his neck tickle his face with increased pleasantness. Yet he could not allow his own mind to settle from the ridiculous paranoia he had created in regards to his boyfriend's beast of a sister. Thus he asked if there had been any sort of miscommunications between them that he had been unaware of.

Whether or not she liked him, then if she disliked humans, or the fact that they were a gay couple.

Ned responded to all of these in the negative save for the first. The bear explained that it had not been Freddy's miscommunications, but the fact that he did not openly claim that he was truly her brother's boyfriend, and intended to be such for the remainder of his life. Ned had seen how this apparently obvious explanation only confused his love, so he clarified.

He repeated how the past several boyfriends, and one girlfriend long before them, had all extraordinarily bestowed such similar mentalities and attitudes of degenerate being that Mercedie was now convinced that Ned was cursed, and that this new 'Freddy' was simply just another disaster waiting to happen. Predictably, Freddy wondered aloud what these others had done, but just as quickly recalled that he had been told these stories last night, and then felt ridiculous.

She was innocent to his silent and unknown accusations, it seemed. Still, he knew it mattered not.

~^'^'^~*~^'^'^~

The human never bothered to ask of occupying doctors to examine him, although the notion to do so came several times. Freddy could not bring his paranoia to a level that required it, though. The pain therein was not unlike that of strained muscles caused by frequent coughing from illness, and not strong enough to cause worry.

It was merely those precise, strange effects that bothered him. It was so captivating in how unknown the source was. For the wound and presiding scar, it was most likely caused by a something sharp or pointed, with an edge or protruding object. He was punched, kicked, it could have been a ring on a finger, or a baton, something that stuck out from a boot, something situated there meant only to hurt someone.

Yet the agony, although slight, was unknown. It all puzzled him.

The day was slow. By that, truly, the business was slow. Not many folks entered in drastic emergencies to be healed, or their lives saved, which unmistakably was not bad. For his own department, however, there was quite a bit of business. Many folks required their hearts and bodies to be examined, and Freddy did his best this day to recompense for the slack that he had displayed so haphazardly the past several weeks. Though with his relived fervor at work, no one there seemed to notice his changed behavior, this would not affect him; he simply remained alive with the spirit of Ned, his being pulsing throughout his cortex and corpus vigorously, creating the aura of peace and happiness.

With the passing of the pharmacology department, a deluge of memories and fears penetrated him, deleting his good mood and replacing it with a pathetic desperation. Entering through a swinging door, nodding in habit to the locals in the department, he moved along, quickly thinking of a pretense to being there.

He explained that he was looking for scientific names of prescription drugs for a research project, and knowing how exceedingly banal the excuse sounded, he ventured a further detail of untruth in asking about a certain drug his "friend" was taking, thus increasing his fake sincerity, only in order to make himself sound less silly and distract the clerk there. He regretted this immediately for two reasons. First, he really had no desire to hear anything about this drug, and knowing how dangerous his idea was only made him nervous.

Second, if he really wanted to get his hands on Cold or UUU or something else, he merely had to go to The Den. But this last notion came along with major conflict. Not only was the place astoundingly dangerous for him and Ned - and Gloria, of course, the nuisance - and with the delicate dealings he had with Mister Stridhel, Freddy felt that any further contact with the place would only permit his 'associates' with addition reason to harass him, and thus make him more likely to submit what they wanted.

Seeing that Freddy was not quite paying much attention anymore, the clerk decided to return to work, going to see to a customer with some myriad of complaints. Leaving Freddy to peruse the stores, the clerk did not know of the intentions. He, another human much older than Freddy, suspected it, as he always did when someone wandered into the storage space, but he did not care, for it was not he who would suffer the consequences if discovered.

Freddy nearly took this as an invitation. Yet he was strongly unconcerned with that; he was suddenly approached by a distress that begged him to reconsider his new proposition. There struggled and moaned the voices of reason, deep within some hidden vortex of misery and malicious nostalgia. Yet his compulsive intrigue begged him to reconsider the terrible memories of that night weeks ago that sought to grieve him until his death.

Repeating to himself, 'it was the air conditioning', the freezing gusts cascading downward and downward had inundated him with the seemingly never-ending torture, and although it had felt and seemed ultimately real, it was indeed all not. The pain and sorrow was real, yes, but the act of being cast into a relentless darkness was only a hallucination.

Freddy tingled with the thought. Within his realm of sanity, there flickered a synaptic slashing of insanity; that he could readily, voluntarily forsake himself yet again to some unknown and possibly traumatizing pilgrimage into the depths of the distorted and fraudulent simulations of religious transcendentalism. Those psionic, meditative reposes that sought the user to withstand harnessing the layers of the Cosmos, to enumerate its infinite vibrations and facets...

So engrossing, those notions chilled him with extravagant anticipation. It would only be criminal to deny himself of such delicious pleasure.

After work, he returned to Cornick's Tavern and descended the hellish stairwell, the aroma of UUU engulfing his sinuses as it always did. Nothing had changed in the foyer; the same strings of lights and wall of papers, the same types of people: noisome, boisterous or demure and unconscious.

William, the goat owner of the Den seemed to be surprised to see him once again, and Freddy was quite unsure of the male's authenticity as he became friendly with him. Almost acting as he would with a dear friend, exhibiting ostensible gratitude and obedience; it was all quite peculiar. William greeted the human and invited him to a group 'Universe Viewing' that night, which Freddy declined cordially.

However, when Freddy explained the purpose for this visit William changed his attitude in favor of the concerned parent. Now, it was quite sickening. Freddy managed to get what he came for and departed. Although the goat's behavior was peculiar, for some odd reason it was satisfying, flattering almost. It did nothing to dissuade the human from his intended pursuit.

On the path towards home, he recalled the talk with Ned. That he was betraying the dear loving bear with a new chemical quickly filled him with guilt, building and growing like a disgusting swamp of filthy lies that could not leave his mind with any sort of peace. But the guilt would simply have to wait, and he would battle it vigorously. This was not Calm, but Cold, and thus he could technically be mitigated from the punishment and wrath of the utter disregard for his lover's concern.

Besides all those points of interest, it was relatively harmless. Freddy would nevertheless be in need of an argument other than "I just wanna try it". He would blame the bear, therefore, of hypocrisy and demand an occurrence of previous times he may have acted as such caretaker for his other friends.

For the entire drive home, Freddy would be plagued with the thought of William, though, and what possibly could have been the deal with that. The goat was a handsome gentleman - if he was deserving of that title - but was not Freddy's ideal person. Will was lean, like himself, and his composure constantly in a state of dissaray, his fur and hair never washed or kept neat, but in those very characteristics, Freddy found a strong attraction, as if the goat's physical state symbolized Freddy's mental stability, thus creating a magnetic pull.

~^'^'^~*~^'^'^~ Day 11

Class attendance was the next day. All three of the mutual friends found themselves in commune once again. Following the afternoon grammar class, Gloria and the two males moved along the grounds, witnessing the result of two days of sunlight: overcast gloom. The skies above painted a steel grey, silvery outlines of dim light eerily seeping along through the mosaic of clouds.

Gloria had gathered the two boys with her hands and voice - nudging them to join her for a walk to the library - exclaiming happily that she was really looking to talk with them and catch up, having been preoccupied with a lethargy and depressive mood as of late, and was feeling bad for having lost track of her friends.

The canine girl expressed surprise and the utmost joy at hearing that Ned and Freddy had become official lovers now. That the guys were 'dating' gave her such more to talk about with her girlfriends, many of Ned and Gloria's other friends - unacquainted with Freddy - having hoped for a long time that he could find someone to love and spend more time with.

Achieving the library, whose selection of decent literature and poetry was disappointing to Freddy, the three met up with another friend, a human girl that Freddy had only met one other time prior to today - name of Meredith - and whom Ned was pleased to see. The four friends sat at a round table near the main lobby of the library, where all were in the best view of the large hexagonal panes of glass that made up the enormous, domed window that constructed an entire wall and partially the ceiling.

Beyond the glass and steel architecture, the clouds only barely obscured, and past the tall tree that was in total want of foliage, lay a low hillside of neighborhoods. Freddy had once known many friends that lived in those houses. Beyond those - and totally out of vision - spread across the valley which was situated past the foothills stretched even more blocks of housing and industry that Freddy knew well too; they housed long forgotten or disrupted friendships and memories of such nostalgia that it occasionally pained him to recall.

Breezes crept across the city, pushing the clouds along at a barely perceptible speed yet never allowing an excess of sunlight to spill forth from the accumulation for more than a few, obscured moments. The air all around them, ensconcing the countryside and mountains beyond grew chillier by the hour, even with the time of day increasing to what normally constituted a decent amount of warmth. If only the damn sun would come out.

"Hey Freddy," spoke Ned softly, leaning to his friend and touching a shoulder, smiling, "You okay? You look deep in thought."

"Yeah," Freddy returned, his voice lazy and monotonous like normal, "I was zoning. Just thinking about stuff." The returning memories of times past was depressing, and he felt temporarily blue because of it. The two girls looked to him indifferently, but not with contempt, Gloria's enormous mouth and words could only now make him feel worse.

"Did any of you hear of this girl who was raped yesterday?" The words did indeed stun them all for several moments. The term had been used so vaguely, and Freddy's knowledge of the actions it entailed so limited, he dismissed the remark as something idiotic and ignored it, not really wanting to know any more. But dammit, Ned insisted on clarification.

"A woman was raped? Are you serious?" He spoke, bemused and shocked. Freddy wished he would simply shut up, and found himself strongly urged to slap sense into him. They were the only occupants in this part of the library, and no one would see if Freddy strangled Gloria with his foot as she lie on the ground,

"Yeah, apparently there was this guy who was kinda doped up on drugs and had been antagonized by her for some time. He just snapped and raped her." Meredith, like Ned, seemed to find this all so very intriguing. Freddy still was in the dark about it all.

"Oh my dear god." Ned went on, with a grimace that told of serious disgust yet allowed for some humor in its insincerity.

"What the hell do you mean, Gloria?" Freddy finally spoke, curtly.

"She was raped; he made her have sex with him."

The notion of such barbarism was not something Freddy wished to be in his mind. Things such as this, along with other atrocious crimes such as murder or torture were almost beyond his comprehension. Basically stated, that manner of thing just simply did not occur anymore. Civilization, mentality, culture... it would literally not allow it. Punishments were severe and the deserved justice was certainly swift in action.

"What happened to the guy who did it?" Ned wondered finally; Freddy was ready to walk away and be rid of the conversation and Gloria's ineptitude for friendly chats.

"He was executed with no trial."

It sounded volatile to Freddy, and he stood then. The others agreed that the death sentence sufficed even though Gloria went on to explain that the woman suffered very minor injuries and psychological trauma. The male human was unsure whether he agreed that it was a suitable punishment: using an unforgivable act to punish a different unforgivable. It seemed too utterly contradictory.

On the pretext of suddenly remembering a certain book he had been wanting to check out, Freddy left the table. Gloria's silly behavior had driven him to an insane desire to be completely rid of her, to never again be forced to hear her speak again. She never seemed to get the hint that Freddy never liked hearing her rant about problems in the world outside of their circle, or of her current best friend's sexual escapades, or of her own.

Whatever adventure succeeded the next, Freddy did not care. She bothered him today with her tale of woe and misery more so than she had at any normal time. Ned could not see the frustration in Freddy, but he noticed that his seemingly random departure affected her. Displayed on her countenance was a visage indefinable, possibly confusion or insult. Freddy left in the middle of her speech, yet he had an excuse, it was not as if he had slapped her or spit at the floor by her feet. There had not even been a leer, any sort of look from his lover.

Ned wondered if he should go check on him. The actions and consequences having been showcased just now, however, were clear to him. If it was anything, Gloria had said or done something that upset Freddy, which was the most likely case being. The bear had not yet been close enough to his lover, Freddy had not as they say 'opened up' to him and told of all the quirks and facets of his personality. He was unaware that Freddy simply could not handle the ideas of Evil at the moment. The bear would not likely enjoy the fact that Freddy's desire was only to relive his happiness with Ned, that he was obsessing over it and that the delicate mood had been shattered and altered to the antipodes so easily.

All these notions and contents brewed such a devilish decay that Ned could not even begin to fathom. Thus, he remained with the two girls and did his best to be cordial with their unintelligible gibberish for their own interests and hobbies. Then suddenly he amusingly understood part of why Freddy had left: they truly could be maddening.

Having come to some plateau of rational thought, Freddy then remembered a book he honestly did want to explore, and next ventured to a nearby computer to find information on it. Between now and when he had left in a huff had been about only five minutes, and Ned had found him. Brief and disorganized words were exchanged, Ned learning that Gloria had indeed upset him, that he was over it, still annoyed at her persistence - however - and had better shit to deal with than her rambling.

The male couple then spent an hour discussing their favorite literature. Authors, poets, play-writes... Freddy mentioned many prospective writers he wished to one day soon indulge in, and eagerly noted Ned's own suggestions. The conversations now ranging from writing to other forms of art, the visuals of painting and sculpting to performance of acting or music, was quite pleasant and achieved Freddy's desire of happiness once again.

Standing between aisles of shelves, lined with books, Freddy set down a couple of books on the closest shelf in order to pull his bear into a hug. Ned smiled happily and nosed the human's mouth, gently licking his lips. Once again, the tickling sensation on his face made Freddy giggle, and brought him an overwhelming urge to squeeze Ned even stronger, nuzzling his face into Ned's thick, furry neck and sighing. Peace.

"You are so damn cute." Freddy whispered with a grin and chuckle, a chuckle that was shared by the bear himself.

More discussion commenced after this, and the two parted. Schooling became more tolerable, and the torture of his previous disastrous endeavors of achieving medical school was sent to the bowels of his conscious thought. Like the clouds above in the sky, grey and milky, murky, he wanted that miserable feeling of failure and helplessness to be even less present than the silvery-white luminescence penetrating through. Freddy wanted nothing but Ned and the serenity accompanying.

~^'^'^~*~^'^'^~

Not having a portable phone, nor wishing to deal with the problematic pay phones found throughout the city, Freddy decided to contact his boyfriend with his own once he returned to his apartment. After school, he gained the usual depletion of energy, and he decided to take a nap after the call, hoping Ned could find the time to visit him or be visited. The human had no work this day.

Calling the bear, he learned that he was being forced to stay for a second shift after a fellow employee was taken violently ill with food poisoning, thus making his time even longer. Asking of the bear's plans for the rest of the night after work and finding that his schedule consisted only of some light study, homework, and an early night for sleep, Freddy ventured a request that he swing by instead of going home, and spend the night in the apartment.

It was all agreed to, Ned praising the idea excessively and stating that he was looking forward to it tremendously, stating with humor that he would finally be able to spend time in his human's abode without the necessity of sanctifying his well-being. Freddy was not entirely amused by this, but not offended; he knew it was all in good fun. The idea of a nap was now eradicated, and the added excitement of seeing his adorable lover gave him a new energy.

The place was a disgraceful mess, and he immediately began to clean up a bit. After the daily shower, of course and afterwards he scrubbed the tub and other various ceramic devices in the lavatory. Next would be to sort and hide his filthy laundry, dust and vacuum the grim from the carpet, in order to get a less offensive smell from the place. In his excited endeavors, he only ended up spilling a lot of water on the kitchen linoleum and spilled an enormous pile of dust from the carpet cleaner. Such trouble, he swore.

A clamorous noise on the front door startled him. Glancing towards his clock, he discovered that he had only been in his cleaning frenzy for an hour, and Ned most certainly would not have been there at the door. Anyone else was even less likely, Gloria for instance; thus, there remained only one other probably option of visitors.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Patterson." Jorg spoke, once again standing there in his effulgence; it was just the sunlight. Seems that the daystar favored shining its warmth and beauty only when this miserable human was present, as if the Cosmos were some grandiose comedy of irony. But why did it always have to make the man so damn angelic, Jorg with his black and grey suit and his hunched posture, that cold stare with the insincere smile.

"Hello, Mister Jorg." Freddy replied, "I'm guessing you wanna come in?" He sighed, and now his paranoia was simply replaced by irritation. Jorg insisted on being friendly though.

"Jorg Stridhel." He returned, reaching forward to shake hands with Freddy, acting jovial as if this were their first meeting. "Yes, I'd love to come in. We won't be long..." Thus he and his friend entered, both nodding.

The other man only scowled, however, and the lines of wrinkles along with the sloping brow gave the impression that this sort of disturbing grimace was a permanent feature of his countenance. "Oh, and this is my protégé, Sorjin Tams. He's been shadowing me for years now; I think he's coming along very nicely." Jorg beamed extravagantly towards Mr. Tams, the latter of which was displaying a curious visage that suggested he viewed Jorg's remark with skepticism and amusement, smirking slightly.

Freddy, being in no mood to further discuss business with these gentlemen, was on the verge of stating that he would absolutely love to break connections, sever their communications, and all that. Jorg insisted, though, on continuing his speech.

"It looks a lot nicer in here, Fredrick." Jorg stated. Now with the door shut and the dusty pall reinstated through the room, the businessman's demeanor seemed to emulate it, now being less bright and cheerful than he had when standing on the threshold. Freddy understood how equally soiled the man's intentions and wishes were in comparison to the mildewed peelings beneath the sink, and of thick grime.

"Well, I'm cleaning up a bit. I'm expecting some company. Important company." Jorg expressed disappointment that it was not he and Sorjin that had been the reason behind Freddy's decision to clean up his abode, but oh well. They asked for a drink, Jorg making three tonics for the occupants, then asking the inevitable.

"We will not be long, sir. We have an abnormally tight schedule today," Sorjin glanced to his wristwatch as Jorg spoke, "Do you have any new information for me, Fredrick?"

Freddy glared at the pair of them, unfeeling in their appointments, no doubt other people to antagonize and make promises that needed devastating payments in order to fulfill. The blond male stood there, sipping the bitter and citrus-flavored beverage as the other two took the liberty to repose on his couch against the wall. They needed cleaning too, he noticed.

"Listen. I think you're going to have to find someone else to do this for you." Freddy stated, speaking in a tone that implied conclusion to events. Jorg broke his gaze and swept his eyes across the room, stopping a few moments on Sorjin who only stared at Freddy, his jaw forward, lips closed around a snarl that was quite evident, even to Freddy who begged himself to avoid looking.

"I see." Stridhel sighed finally, his voice sounding of lamentable disappointment. "I had a feeling you would say that, sir." Following this was more silence and awkward staring. "Patterson, you do know how we operate, do you not?"

"I'm not quite sure, actually. You should tell me, then." Freddy said, now twisting his face into a disguised snarl like that of Sorjin. Tams' grimace, however, emanated such ferocity that Freddy could not mistake that his only wish was to devour Freddy's heart straight out of his bleeding and shredded torso.

"We do not like to intervene in people's lives too much. When we do, like we have with you, we do everything in our power to keep it simple, and unambiguous. We asked you for information, and offered what we consider - and surely you consider - a quite reasonable and desirable reward for it. You have denied telling us anything, what, three times now?" Whether or not anyone at this point was keeping track of the visits, no one spoke of it.

"We have chosen you, Mr. Patterson, and it could have been a multitude of other people. We simply chose you though, and we would much rather keep it that way; I don't want to involve anyone else. This certain matter is very, very delicate, you understand?"

"Look, I can't have anything to do with it. I have stopped going to the Den, period. And I want nothing to do with it. You can do anything you want to shut it down or arrest the ringleader if that's what you really want. But I don't want to help and I don't want me or my friends to suffer because of it."

"That wasn't the deal, Freddy." Jorg said, shaking his as if in disbelief.

"We never had a deal, Jorg." Freddy retorted, causing Jorg to sigh and groan, now with obvious disbelief and slouching forward as if in defeat. "You told me that I didn't have to help if I didn't want to, that I could think about it."

Jorg paused, his face voluntarily frozen in a twisted sort of look caught between a scrunched smirk and frown. "When did I say that?" He asked Freddy, "Did I say that?" He asked Sorjin, who replied that Jorg indeed had said something to that effect. Following this was the longest and more irksome of silences that had ever accompanied the meetings.

Mr. Stridhel shifted his weight slightly and seemed to be silent deliberation with Sorjin who was reclining comfortably and haughtily. Freddy now wondered if his opinion of these men matched the contempt of William's - the Den's ringleader whose life was so imminently in danger if Freddy decided to follow through with this bargain. Stridhel then moved slowly, reaching into a pocket along the lining of his black, wool coat and removed a small piece of technology.

This object, which resembled a large mobile phone, was next placed upon a nearby table that stood next to the arm of the couch, separating the couch from the kitchen. Jorg held his fingers against it, staring with concentration as he twisted a dial. Sorgin watched with subdued amusement. Freddy requested that he explain what the hell he was doing.

The blond man's home was being invaded, it seemed, and this new scenario quickly made him jump to devastating conclusions. This, perhaps, spelt his own execution now, and it began to terrify him. But, strangely and quite unexpectedly, Jorg's words of "Relax, Fredrick, please have a seat, we just wanna ask you some questions."

Freddy was bizarrely compelled to do so. He sat down upon an armchair that was extremely comfortable now; he had never noticed how soft and welcoming it really, truly was. And where as before these men appeared so greatly undesirable and intrusive, now they very slowly began to look comforting, pleasant even.

"Fredrick, do you know where the Den is located?" Jorg spoke slowly, almost melodiously; speaking fluently to be sure Freddy understood perfectly well what was said. Sorjin was now paying full attention to the goings on, and the intrigue betrayed his ostensible air of indifference.

"Yes, I do." Freddy said. The question was easy to answer, simple, he was delighted to tell them. Yet he felt slightly drowsy, as what happens when the effects of alcohol cause sleepiness or the body has gone too long without rest. But unlike those times, it did not dissuade him from speaking or conversing. He was really quite happy to talk about whatever it is they wanted.

"Will you tell us where it is, Fredrick?" Jorg continued.

"Uh... alright." Freddy sighed and, with his eyelids feeling tired and heavy, he glanced between the two men. "Wait, I'm not sure."

"What do you mean, Freddy?"

"I can't remember the street name, it's on... it's by... the light, the stop, I mean... where there's a large intersection and some kind of food store on the right..." Freddy began tracing something in the air before his face, using his fingers and hands, drawing what was supposed to be a map of the area. "It's here..."

"What the hell?" Sorjin cried, standing now, forsaking his previous demeanor entirely. "Is that thing fucked up or what?" The man motioned towards Jorg's piece of electronic device.

"What do you mean?" Freddy asked, not looking to Sorjin but frowning in concentration.

"Don't ask anything, Sorjin. He'll think it's directed to him and will make him weary." Jorg responded quickly.

"I know that, Jorg. I'm sorry."

"Let me try something else." Jorg then turned a different knob on the machine very slightly, delicately, afraid to do an excess of harm to their friend. Then spoke again, asking "Freddy, do you know what street the Den is on, or the building number? What building is the Den in?"

Freddy stared in silence, his mouth agape and his brow furrowed, letting them know he was deep in thought, journeying through his memory to find the information they needed. He was getting so sleepy now, and was wondering what importance came with such silly questioning. He could easily picture the Den, could see almost as a visual illusion the location of Cornnick's Tavern, the shape and size, but could not remember the number on the sign out front.

What did it matter though? These men, two somewhat handsome fellows of obvious distinguished backgrounds and an appealing age difference stood there as if inviting him to feast on them. He wanted to badly.

"Can I get you guys another drink?" Freddy asked with a smirk. "My boyfriend is coming over in a few hours, maybe we could all have some fun together."

The two men in black and grey suits were astounded. Jorg let his jaw fall open and then expel forth a great and cacophonous laugh and finished off his drink. Sorjin and he then approached the wavering Freddy sitting in the chair, his eyes unfocused and his shoulders swaying to some unheard, unknown music playing in his head.

Within that mind, the synaptic responses were so delayed and weak, it was quite an effort to even come up with the information that his friends required of him. So with that, Freddy decided they would simply have to wait for a better time, and seeing how there already here and settled in, he thought it would be a great, wonderful idea for them to stay and let him entertain them as best he could. Their cloudy and blurry bodies standing there, however, made him worry that they would not be staying.

"I don't understand that at all." Sorjin spoke after a minute or so of Jorg examining their hypnotized friend and his machine. "Was the chip you put in his chest damaged?"

"I don't think so. I'm not sure why he invited us to an orgy, but as for the other thing... there actually might be a good explanation. Obviously, it was supposed to lessen his inhibitions, but it didn't quite work out like we thought. "

Jorg seized the hem of Freddy's shirt and lifted in order to be sure that his previously implanted apparatus was still intact. Finding only a rapidly healed wound with a scar, he knew very well that Freddy had not removed it, or had it removed by some doctor at his hospital. But certainly, their hopes of today finding the information here were obliterated by Freddy's outlandish psychology.

"What do you think it means?" Sorjin wondered.

"Remember what their friend Gloria told us," Jorg said, reaching to take Freddy's unfinished tonic and finish it himself. Swallowing it down fully and shaking his head, "Fredrick is extremely aloof, and does not see things the way many other folks do. Like she said, he's bad with directions and mathematics. It's only the minute details like that which he can't retain, unfortunately for us, being that these are what we need.

"But he's outstandingly perceptive. He remembers shapes and figures very well. His mind thinks of architecture," he paused and stared at the picture on the wall again. The same landscape: bleak, tones of pastel brown and grey, gloom clinging desperately to every pencil stroke in the drawing. Jorg then turned to look at another drawing on a wall, one opposite to the landscape. This was even stranger. It depicted a creature so foreign, it could have been alien. An obese, slightly humanoid octopus-like monster with tentacles, creeping through a subterranean cavern... it sparked fruition of malice within Jorg's mind. He grinned with an Evil thought.

Freddy awoke minutes later... in actuality, he did not awake. He saw his visitors leave, but could not cry out to stop them, they abandoned him and insulted his offer to join him and... but the thought evaporated fast, and within a few more seconds he was quite unaware that any such offer or even the visit itself had ever occurred. Yet in the back of his delicate mind lingered an anticipation that drove him wild. He could feel that someone had been there, or that someone - besides his loving bear - was soon on his or its way.

Standing and waddling to the kitchen to fix a drink, much stronger than the one he had apparently just had, he could feel the presence of a plodding trepidation. Piecing, excruciatingly, it approached rapidly and just as quickly became subdued. For several hours he awaited the time that epiphany would come, when the thing residing there static with so much potential energy, would burst forth and he would remember.

Yet it eternally remained moribund. Not once did he ever recall a memory or gain a glimpse of what could be there in his mind, filling him with such foreboding dread and ... guilt, it seemed. The clock on the wall told him Ned still would not be able to arrive for two more hours, so he decided on another stiff drink, hoping the woozy intoxication would combat the everlasting, disturbing apprehension. It did not.

His last idea was desperation. To rid himself of this peculiarity he could easily take a small dose of Cold. While the effects would only last about an hour or so, the traces would linger - like that damnable new apotheosis of trepidity - it could easily cause worse symptoms of fear and paranoia, coupled with the booze he had been drinking. So, in conclusion, he decided on distracting his mind with music. Encasing his ears in headphones and preparing his instruments so that only he could hear it, he played guitar through them like mad. All for the sake of utter distraction until Ned showed at the door and all was forgotten like a dream.

~^'^'^~*~^'^'^~

First, Ned only wanted a tour. Freddy was obliged to do so, and with confidence - seeing as how he spent quite a bit of time cleaning the place only for it - so that his home would not appear totally inhabitable. The tour, of course, was the official presentation, Ned having fully been within the apartment's confines only once before.

The bear did notice how much less dirt and dust there was. The rank laundry was gone, cleaned and all neatly sorted and packed away in its respective places. There was also more light, the curtains and window shades now set open. Ned respected Freddy's attention, and was pleased to see that he could not live in a healthier environment for a little while, but he certainly did miss the thick aroma of the human's male essence there.

He was much more poised as well, having trimmed his slowly growing beard, but it was now his hair that was starting to grow too long, the bangs hanging down touching his eyebrows now and being rather bothersome, Freddy constantly jerking his head in order to banish them from touching his eyes.

After the tour, which Freddy felt to be ridiculous, Ned cornered his lover in the short hall that separated the two bedrooms. The two males embraced tenderly and kissed each other, letting their bodies melt together, entwining their tongues and gripping each other with that privileged, heated passion that is almost exclusive to new lovers. Freddy once again let himself absorb the feeling of tenderness from the bear, his passion increasing from the feel of Ned's robust torso and his soft, masculine belly pressing him against the wall.

Affection consummated, inquiries were made as to the plans for the evening. Ned suggested an excursion into the remote parts of the city where the couple could enjoy some light, evening entertainment or a nice meal at a bar somewhere in the vicinity, having two places in mind that he had been wanting to visit with someone for a long time. They were places that Ned viewed as humble and accommodating, somewhere that people such as them - affectionate and fresh - could appreciate the true heart of the city and be at ease and free of the monotonous surrounds of apartment life.

It was agreed to, Freddy stating he was perfectly fine with an evening in the city. Ned drove them to the downtown area and parked discreetly in a lot undesignated to the area - a practice which his mother had shown him - which he claimed would save him the trouble of getting through the traffic peculiar to this area. Freddy shrugged and simply listened, thinking it all superfluous. But the behavior was part of his characteristic and Freddy still found it charming, simply another part of his bear to love.

That night, as presumed, was entirely enjoyable. First they enjoyed a good few drinks a quiet bar, to which they walked through dark alleys for about five minutes. Next, to a restaurant that seated its patrons in deep, slightly partitioned booths with tall and roomy tables. The motif of the place was a surprisingly accurate recreation of the old war times, over a hundred years ago in an age where much was drastically different. It was aesthetically pleasing and made Freddy comfortable, Ned enjoying his decision as well and letting himself relax in the booth leisurely.

Freddy also liked the build of their table and the tall dividers that sheltered them from the eyes of over patrons and decided to take advantage of the construct in order to slip himself beneath the table and apply his mouth to the bear's sexual organs. Being hidden from view to anyone, including the waiter, the human ignored Ned's misgivings and only worked on delighting him. Underneath the table, he slurped down Ned's phallic appendage until it grew as swollen as possible, and effectively lost interest in the restaurant as he gorged himself on his lover.

Stating he might have to take him there more often if such captivating behavior was to be frequent, they next visited a museum. Here Freddy's attention to the bear that he so loved was quickly reduced to a fraction, and it was a lot of work to keep him from getting lost in himself. Of course, Ned enjoyed seeing Freddy having fun, and was glad that his decision was met with such attitude.

They spent over an hour within the building, the two males discussing and critiquing the pieces of art as they slowly crept along the shadowy hallways. Freddy quietly hummed to himself, as he occasionally did when suffering no distractions. It was his personal habit, something he did when losing track of his thoughts and his surroundings. Leaving him quite vulnerable to embarrassment when he sang aloud. However when this particular event occurred, Freddy sang lyrics to a song that Ned insisted on bringing to attention, having recognized the musician and finding it to be a coincidence.

"I didn't know you were a fan of Plexadonn." He said. Freddy started with the phrase and chuckled, defending that he was a casual fan, and - another habit of his - began to go into detail of his level of appreciation for the ignominious musician who was native to the country.

"Did you know he's playing a small tour through Ertethia in the next few months?" Ned continued, hoping to gain more of Freddy's affections with unknown and pleasing news.

Freddy thought for a second, then said, "I didn't know he was still alive, actually. I'm not surprised he is, I just never thought of it before. Are you a fan?" A lengthy discussion ensued then between them concerning the infamous "Dreetle" musician, their likes and dislikes, and whether or not they should see to attending the nearest concert when the time came.

After the artwork scrutinizing, home again they commenced, where Freddy pleaded with his lover to take him to the bedroom for some snuggling.

Both males entered the bedroom, where Freddy stripped his clothes to his underwear - tight-fitting white briefs - and slumped to the mattress, reclining supine with his arms spread outward, offering his flesh to the bear. Ned grinned broadly and forsook his action of perusing the room in place of doing the same: stripping off his clothes except for his underwear, the same sort that Freddy wore, and stood there gazing with lust at the human before him.

Freddy moaned with delight at the vision of male beauty. Ned positioned himself similar to the human; placing his hands up on his head and stretching his torso, letting his rotund belly protrude, stretching. The stark white fuzz covering his body, and the intense - albeit moderate - girth enticed his submissive behavior, his loins warming and engorging with blood, bringing only sexual desire to a boiling point that spilled from his psyche, and he mouthed the words.

Ned agreed with a chuckle, stepping forward and placing his hands upon his waist, prepared to strip himself naked. Freddy then sat up and, swinging his legs over the edge of the mattress, he embraced the bear, pulling his soft belly towards him and nuzzling his face and shoulders deep into it. The human squeezed affectionately and sighed happily, pulling and tugging at the bear's backside and thighs, kneading with his fingers in order to feel the thick portions of fur and adipose tissue, engulfing his domineering, male build.

Performing as he had in the restaurant and exactly the same as he had on Ned's own bed, Freddy sucked down the bear's phallus into his maw and hungrily pleasured him. It would be almost exactly as it had been a few days ago: it was all he really wanted right now. With those few minor and major appearances of stress and imaginative turmoil, the idea of being fully taken by the muscular male appealed to him so intensely, he could not listen to any other reasoning.

On all fours, naked and covered with sweat, he found himself mounted, fully penetrated and growling, along with the sounds his bear made, being ravaged in his backside. His muscles could withstand it, his emotions longed desperately for it, and he cringed with pain that was in actuality sublime delectation. He moaned, gripping the bedsheet and pushing back with his head that was nestled, forced into his pillow.

Each savage thrust, driving Ned's hot and dripping wet member deep inside through Freddy's anus, caused a feverish and tremulous convulsion in the human, each brutal motion caused a sweet cry of passion and emotion to emit from his dry throat. His muscles, the legs and arms, burned and shook with the intense exercise, and gave him a kind of delirium. All he could feel were Ned's paws clinging to his hip bones and the thick organ hammering into his prostate organ.

He would definitely need a long and relaxing shower after this. When Ned was done with him, the bear slouched off of his lover, pulling out his appendage swiftly and allowing a small arch of white ejaculate to spill from Freddy's orifice. The bear then seized the male's body and flipped it so Freddy was on his back again, Freddy grunting and unable to resist being completely drained of energy.

His own phallus was hard and ready, almost blistering with the need to come. Ned eagerly took the tingling shaft into his wet mouth and sucked on it, bobbing his head and slurping. Freddy arched his back and wailed in ecstasy, pushing out the very last strains of remaining energy in order to climax. Ned seized the human's uplifted pelvis and stuffed as much of the human's appendage into his mouth, letting it slide down his throat slightly and savoring the bursts of semen that invaded his gullet, swallowing as best he could.

That he was covered with sweat, the bear's and his own ejaculate and saliva did not matter. The fact that his bear now hovered above him, straddling the dear, satisfied body that lie motionless with a smile mattered not. His mind had been vigorously encased in the moment of pleasure; the minutes... it had lasted how long? It was no consequence; neither had paid any attention to the time it took for both of them to come and then rest. The intense energy from their spiritual auras still burned, though quickly dwindling as the males slowly returned to full conscious existence.

He could feel the slick fluid seeping gently from his body, knew it was soaking his sheets. Beyond the vast landscape of telepathic love - that which told him Ned was enjoying, tremendously, the result that amounted from his work - he could acknowledge a dull, tight ache in his bowels. It had been too much, almost, and he would be tender for quite some time. In his past life he had never had such a problem with the larger of his male lovers, and even with keeping himself in practice with non-living apparatuses, the motions of hips and having no control over the duration was just barely too much. Still, it was a glorious feeling.

Each breath of wind that Ned let forth, his muzzle now close to Freddy's ear, was dreamt of as cascades of white, ethereal wind. It came to cleanse him and encase his mind further in the heavenly relaxation he felt. This was his aura, his afterglow. Freddy wanted nothing else at the moment than to relish it.

"Are you even awake, Freddy?" Ned asked with a giggle. Freddy could not resist giggling himself and found that it brought enough strength for him to hug the bear weakly.

~^'^'^~*~^'^'^~ Day 12

Ned was not surprised that Freddy lived without a personal computer. With that, he deprived himself of the convenience of browsing the data streams at his leisure. The human admitted to having 'played around' with computers and had spent hours browsing the streams before. But he had ultimately come to the conclusion that he would rather spend his money on other more important and more interesting things.

He also was unconcerned about the various benefits of having a computer in his home to use. The bear prattled on about all the hundreds of databases and entertainment venues that Freddy - as a musician and art connoisseur - would find very useful and informative. But the human was unyielding in his reluctance and his arguments against the frequent usage of computers and the stream seemed to bring down the animation that Ned had found in his explanations. Freddy simply did not care.

Remembering the cause of the discussion that had so drastically shattered, Ned ascribed the subject of his desire to find out ticket prices and locations of Plexadonn's Epic Band (which was the touring name of his new group). Here in the apartment, they obviously had no way of doing so; Ned, therefore, proceeded to jokingly taunt his lover that if they did not venture to find access to the data streams, all the tickets would be quickly sold and they'd miss the chance of a lifetime.

Freddy argued that the tickets would never sell out totally with such an obscure and underappreciated artist playing the venue. The idea of a musician and fellow artist suffering such obscurity due to his persistent hermetic behaviors and interminable refusal to attempt regaining recognition felt oddly familiar. The creature's fate seemed to mirror his own, though on a much greater scale of measure. True, Freddy was not an aging musician, nor had the notoriety for longevity and was not a war veteran, but the idea that he, like this Plexadonn, could only rarely find the energy to take action in his own life and make something exciting happen was extremely depressing.

A previously-experienced phenomenon of seemingly repressed guilt had been avoided, and now once again that auxiliary gloom came back just as pronounced as it had been. He sensed the apprehension, tasted its putrid essence with his mind, and shuddered with inordinate remorse that was completely unexpected.

Freddy could not quite trace what had engendered this delusion of self pity and regret, but was sure its equivocal nature gave no claim to actual, tangible penance; thus, he was determined to see it destroyed. As he seldom was capable, a difficult task it being, Freddy constrained himself, likewise the feelings of terror and guilt, and commanded his mind to focus on the joyful procession into the city which would see them prospecting tickets to the concert. Going to a music show with his bear would be glorious.

Glorious, he had to remember that. And it slowly drove out the evanescent repercussion: the regret he felt due to... apparently... feeling sad for himself. Yet this sort of reaction from his self-loathing had never been felt so strongly, had never approached so quickly, not ever once before. It was an amazing feeling, even if all that came along with was misery. The feeling was incredibly powerful, so similar, in fact, to that once prolonged overdose of Cold Freddy had once taken.

Then came the slight anticipation of experimenting with it again. Although he felt it had almost killed last time, it was morbidly fascinating.

Freddy and Ned took their leave of the apartment again. It was early morning, and both had classes this day, their discussion having taken place during their breakfast had at a diner down the highway from the school. It was, unlike that darkened, hidden place they visited the night before, more open and known to clientele, and much more populated, even with the early morn. There would be no secretive fellatio under the table.

The couple exchanged information on their class scheduling, deciding to meet at noon - each having two classes before then - at the library again, where Ned could look for information regarding the concert they both wished to attend. Ned explained that they were under the constraint of limited time, that there might not even be sale of tickets any longer; the tour had been announced about two months ago. He was very particular to remind Freddy that he had warned the human of such a thing, but he had taken it as a joke and it was all his own fault for not believing him.

Classes one and two commenced as usual, Freddy keeping himself with positive and provoking fancies that let him evade slipping into that subdued misery or preposterous regret he had been experiencing as of late. Both were unexciting and even more uneventful; he gathered his things and left for the library where he met Ned already there - claiming to have gotten out early - and gave him a pleasant embrace.

After some brief conversation with a fellow he knew from his mathematics class, a canine gentleman, Freddy sat down with his lover at a secluded desk in the corner of the library, facing the window that viewed into a hall which had wide and tall windows which looked out into those foothills. Although situated differently in the library today than he was yesterday, and seeing a completely different side of the terrain, the effect on his mentality was the same.

He sought for that serenity again, the easy and tranquility of those quondam seasons. The people, their faces so clear and lucid in his memory, and their voices, the experiences he shared, it was all in the past, yet the monument to this era of his life was characterized, epitomized, by those neighborhoods, the energy surrounding them fluently.

It was the exemplar of happiness to him. His former life, the lifestyle and preferences, the antiquated prospects and conducts grew weary on him, however, and the more he committed himself to longing for them, they began to build what he considered the archetype for peace. Freddy persuaded himself that he could never be happy again, not without those hills, those faces. His fantasy, thus, became fashioned after things forever departed.

Though even in this grotesque and depressing fabrication, there arrived rare times in Freddy's state of prolonged reveries where he could cease beguiling himself with whimsical notions of former life, and see that it was an eidolon of the future, and entirely despondent and pessimistic.

Watching Ned fidget with the computer terminal, as they sat in silence and relative quietude - the bear smirking at him occasionally - Freddy wondered if Ned's life and his future aspirations could aid Freddy's own into evolving past the mold of dead and decayed memories. And the rush, the euphoria so intense in a matter of seconds, pounded on him like tumultuous waves of understanding... that Ned indeed held in his love and possible devotion the sort of posterity that transcended Freddy's allusions of stagnant expectations.

Sighing slowly and deeply, content with such a thought, Freddy then became nostalgic again. Immersed with the idea of bidding farewell to his ideals, and clearing his head once and for all was so utterly refreshing, Freddy seized the bear again and squeezed him tightly. The reciprocated sigh of delight shed the remaining deadwood from Freddy's rickety foundations of past renewal, and all of those numerous possibilities - so improbable and ridiculous - descended like fountains of dust, matter and memory that had been clogging his mind for years now.

It felt so incredibly good...

Freddy explained the newly discovered emotion and relayed it to Ned, choosing to wait until they had returned his apartment after classes that day. The human asked if Ned wanted to sleep there again that night, silently hoping he would.

"Of course I want to, Freddy. You just realize I have work at 6 am tomorrow, and we're about 20 minutes from the shop, I just don't wanna make a drive like that." Ned explained; Freddy stood quietly and considered his possibilities.

"Well, do you think I could come spend the night again instead?" He asked after a few moments. Ned was situated on the couch, underneath a drawing hung in a wooden frame on the wall, and he responded as Freddy went to light a cigarillo in the kitchen. Ned somewhat pitied the man's diminutive living accommodations; that he could see from his vantage every chamber in the place was of no consequence. It was the space's size, that it allowed no luxury in the slightest and how he constantly had to be quiet with his music or television...

"I'll have to ask Mercedie, it's her house too. But would -you- want to go through the trouble of having to drive all back here tomorrow? I know how much you hate driving." Freddy then sat down, Ned taking his cigarillo and puffing on it deeply.

"It's fine, I don't care. I just wanna be with you, Bear. I love you." As he spoke those words, Ned froze and became utterly silent. He seemed alarmed or shocked at the news, which Freddy was not expecting, and whose only reaction was to sit, hunched awkwardly and look stupid.

"You do. You really mean it, Freddy?" Ned asked quietly, leaning his head close in order to softly nuzzle his friend's neck.

"Yes, I do. I love you, Ned..." Then he, in turn, nuzzled the lover which he held in his arms, doing his best to pull closely and absorb the intense emotional aura which emanated from the bear's soul, extended from his body. Freddy could not see it, could not truly visualize the tangible etherealism, but he knew perfectly well it was there. And he could feel the flood of emotion rush inside him quickly as Ned spoke again.

"I've been waiting to hear you say that, Freddy. I love you too." Passion ensued, though not as heated or wild as it had been the night before. Ned succumbed to his desires and agreed to spend another night. Their passion, their rigorous sexual conduct was equally as intense as it had been last night. It was during the night when they slept, exhausted in Freddy's bed, that the human understood his strange thoughts on death.

When once death seemed like an inevitable and acceptable rest, now that his life was entwined with another's, his heart and soul fused to his lover's own heart and soul, death seemed like it would be painful and horrific. Now that he appreciated life, and wanted mortality, being stripped of it eventually was a terrifying concept.

~^'^'^~*~^'^'^~

Ned had actually bought the two tickets there in the library when they first had visited the idea of attending. Using his credit card, with the bank account numbers and codes, Ned made the purchase; Freddy watched excitedly as their adventure began to take shape. The bear explained that the tickets were surprisingly cheap and he would barely have touched his savings in order to make the buy.

Next, they would need to make their leave known to their workplaces as quickly as possible, in order to give them proper time to compensate properly for their absence. The concert would take place in nineteen days, which Freddy was sure would be a reasonable notice for the hospital, and to his delight they had no trouble whatsoever with the proceedings. He was honestly, however, quite ready to be told that he could very well leave for three days and not bother returning, that he was fired for his appalling work ethics and composure.

The mere thought of having let himself slip so poorly in his behavior that he would be terminated during his absence was depressing. But he refused to linger over the thought, even if entirely possible. He considered it a very unprofessional and cruel action, if taken, and it would especially add fury in him along with his disappointment. No, he would have absolutely none of that.

This adventure, which he liked to call it, was a splendid path that he could now see as an unadulterated necessity. Traveling, as little travel as it would require however, and seeing the new and refreshing sight of the city of Arthurs felt as welcome as accepting Ned as his mate into his life. Setting his expectations for pleasure and enjoyment, especially with the company of Ned, he allowed only feelings of joy and excitement to envelope him now.

It was decided that Ned would drive for the journey. Freddy took it upon himself to sort and organize the items they would need, clothing mostly, a book or two and some music discs for their listening pleasure on the road. Ned had to remind his friend that their trip would only take about three hours to complete.

~^'^'^~*~^'^'^~ Day 30

Up until the concert itself, nothing of importance or relevance occurred, either on the trip to Aurthurs nor in the tour of the downtown area. Likewise, the scenery was not spectacular. The general terrain of Ertethia was comprised of dense forest, almost exclusively in the east, and the cities of Aurthurs and Freddy and Ned's own, Bornel where not exempt from the abundance of vegetation. Through the hills and beyond the sparse and claustrophobic fields of grass and soil stretched the miniature metropolis known as Arthurs.

In comparison with the true major cities of Ertethia, Aurthurs did not qualify in the slightest for the term 'metropolis'. While it was relatively quiet and uneventful, there was a colossal emergence of the cosmopolitan nature in the past decade and within a couple of years, in order for the migration and integration, the city became the most cultured and world-friendly places of intelligent habitation on the planet.

Which, of course, is an enormous exaggeration. Freddy knew well that there were many other cities with such a celebrated diversity in cultures and ingrained, inveterate sophistication, but which also held more historical nostalgia. And with the thought of history, war times long gone now, Freddy thought he could understand some of Plexadonn's reservations about playing in big cities. He obviously would not want to revisit sites of the past in which he help fight a war against Ertethia and its smaller, adjacent countries, even if simply in penance.

But Freddy liked the city, instantaneously. It all promoted a theme of intelligence and refinery, with deeply-established and humble lifestyles, distractions and amusements. This of course was the testimony of a brief documentary of the city that the two males watched on a screen inside of a chosen hotel. And during the few hours of daylight in which the two lovers explored the busiest region of the city, Freddy noticed that it was quite accurate. Then to confirm his positive suspicions of non deceit from the city, the place continued to remain relatively, atmospherically taciturn, but underneath the guise of twilight and midnight, there bristled ripened energy of the people of Ertethia and their integrated cousins.

Freddy and Ned certainly felt at home here. Their usual crowds consisted of folk such as these: subdued and virtually ascetic in their habits and leisure. There was no spark of wildfire in these souls, it seemed, for their understanding of the wildlife of people and conversation obviously held much higher importance. Freddy admired the mood there and the philosophy more so. Aurthurs would be a fantastic place to live.

To begin their short vacation, they rented a suite in the chosen hotel that stood within the heart of downtown Aurthurs, as close to the auditorium as possible. That Freddy had plenty of money to help, the human rarely spending his savings on anything but living necessities, made Ned feel more comfortable with making their expenditure more leisurely.

For most of the day they drove about and explored the city itself, which Freddy greatly enjoyed. All the music stores, art galleries and bookstores were a definite option, then a small dinner at a restaurant found several miles outside of the downtown hub. It was all quaint, and very unspectacular. Souvenirs and hobby stuff was purchased, but nothing major, only minor things. It began when Freddy decided to buy a unique action figure (whose existence portrayed a beastly monster that was meant to look like one of the extinct insectoids that had been used in the war over 100 years ago). Ned loved it and thought it would go well in his collection. In return, he discreetly bought a data disc that contained concert footage from a rock group that Freddy had claimed he adored, thus 'getting even' with him.

The males ended up visiting only two pubs that night, and having let themselves succumb to consumption, there seemed to be no other option than to wander aimlessly and enjoy the pall of darkness and soft light spilling all over them. Laughter and soulful, willing admiration of both each other and their surroundings mirrored the twinkling luminescence of the moons in the sky and the astronomical brocades of celestial stars along with it.

Then before their rapture endangered the prospective peace and serenity of others around them, Freddy and Ned decided to retire to their hotel room. The walk there was done so with glee, both males now being inebriated to the point of risking syncope and being forced to spend the night on the curb instead of their luxurious suite.

Ned had specifically asked for a suite closer to the top levels of the building so they'd have a view from higher up, which Freddy enjoyed as well. Their room was more spacious than Freddy's apartment back in Borel, and eternally clean. White walls, with matching white carpet, along with the bed's sheets, in the corner stood a small refrigerator with a 'mini bar', and many other devices among the tabletops and shelves.

Still woozy from the night's excess in drinking and arousal, Freddy stood quiet and wavering at the window, the curtains and shades wide open and simply stared at the glistening, twinkling horizon of forested hills beyond the darker parts of the city. There in his mind he understood that his home and settlement was past all those landscapes, nestled in a dank and boring crevice of Ertethia. Yet he felt exhilarated at the sensation of temporarily being free from that gloomy cloak, the burden of work and school.

The dust he had so miraculously shed when realizing his love for Ned stayed there in Borel, and not a particle of it remained with him tonight. Like the suite they currently stood in, he was free from discontent and happy with being alive.

Freddy felt the bear of his affection coming up behind him and embrace him tightly, nuzzling his cold nose up along his neck and lapping stupidly in his drunkenness. It made the human giggle with delight, and he placed his hands upon Ned's folded paws that pressed against his chest. This only disrupted his balance and the weight of Ned caused Freddy to fall forward and hit his head on the window, which caused excessive laughter. Until Ned began to nibble and gnaw upon Freddy's neck, still licking wetly and breathing his hot air along the human's ear, Freddy had thought it very sweet and endearing, but now it quite practically aroused him in an instant.

"There's been something I've wanted to do all night long." Ned confessed, then produced another exaggerated snicker. The bear moved one of his hands downward towards his human's groin where he began to veraciously stimulate the area, groping and grasping with eagerness at the swelling parts housed within the clothing. He could feel from the reaction of his attention and the sound of acceptance from the male in his arms that he would easily get what he wanted.

Much like their last several times of sexual passion, they quickly expedited the general foreplay, saving only a few moments of intense and feverish kissing; Ned rotated his lover in a twirl until they faced each other where he seized his mouth with his own, Freddy accepting with equal ardency the intruding tongue of his bear. Ned lapped at Freddy's tongue with his throat vibrating with a moan of pleasure, pulling his lover's head closer, grinding his prickly lips into Freddy's, kissing deeply and lovingly.

When he felt it was sufficient, Ned then proceeded to crouch to his knees, kneeling, and undress his friend. He only removed Freddy's trousers, for the time being, from obstruction, letting them crumple at his ankles. Then with a brief tug at the human's tight underwear, he watched the sexual organ extend outward with a jerk and instantly took the entire thing into his maw.

As he began to feast on it, drooling heavily in his eagerness, Freddy instinctively thrust himself forward, letting his hands rest uneasily on the sill of the window, his back pressed against the glass. He exhaled a cry of lust when he felt Ned's teeth grazing along his shaft, the bear hungrily chewing on him as if he were some kind of candy. In his fervent suckling, the bear alternated between the two methods he loved the most. First he would take Freddy's erection deep into his mouth, as deep as possible, and vigorously lap at it with that long tongue of his, always trying to push it in deeper by pulling Freddy's buttocks closer. After he grew tired of that, he would apply his gnawing to the shaft, still licking and sucking as best he could.

In his delirium, Freddy could only think of how incredible it felt, and in his lust he began to hump his lover's head, seizing the soft and supple ears and pulling close with each thrust. Ned received the vicious attention happily, actually aiding in Freddy's endeavors by pulling on him with his forward motions, virtually slamming his phallus down the bear's gullet each time.

Freddy then had them slow down and told him to be careful when one such thrust he felt the bear's teeth on his tummy. Ned stopped completely then, looking up to Freddy's face, his hair rustled and fallen over his eyes.

"Well, maybe you should bend me over and fuck me, then." Freddy had not been expecting such a suggestion, and was quick to decline, stating that he never had been able to "top" anyone before, that he always went soft and lost interest after a minute or so. But Ned truly did insist he try it, the bear explaining that he had not felt a male's parts inside of him for several years, and that he would be very happy with just a minute or so of penetration.

Freddy had been very accurate in his predictions, though, to Ned's disappointment. Only after two minutes of having himself inside the bear's rump, with pumping and thrusting, he felt himself go completely flaccid and slip out. Ned wondered why Freddy seemed to be incapable of doing such an act, believing him to be self-conscious maybe. Nevertheless, he had enjoyed the attention, even if it had been more amusing than pleasurable.

"Well, I know that UUU really helps with that sorta thing," he said with a grin, his lips still wet, "You wanna see if we can find a Den or a dealer maybe?"

Freddy knew it was a joke and chuckled while shaking his head, feeling oddly sad that he could not perform well enough to completely satisfy his lover. He had hoped that this would be the one instance where his body would agree to what his sexual spirit wanted, but it had only once again failed him. Maybe with the idea of a new love, and one whose body was so splendidly delectable - Ned's round belly and large chest being quite sexually arousing to him- he could maintain an erection long enough to finish inside the bear.

He was not sure of the problem, but he - and Ned now, but would not speak it at the moment - were inclined to ascribe it to some psychological reason. But for now, both the lustful males being intoxicated still, had absolutely no desire to analyze the human's fault any further that night.

"I guess I'll just have to do it instead. Would you like me to get up inside you again?"

"I'd fucking love it, you know that. I'm not sure if I'm clean inside though."

Ned stated that it would not be a problem, seeing how they had both used the restroom's facilities about an hour after they had resumed occupation of their suite. He crawled along the floor, stepping away from the bed, and nudged his human lover back towards the window, sniffing at his genitals on the way. During his failed attempt at dominating the bear, Freddy had worked up a sweat and was now emitting an excess of pheromones, an aroma that Ned still found quite desirable and irresistible.

He told Freddy to lean up on the window sill again, with his back to him, and was immediately obeyed. To prepare for his entrance, Ned began by lubricating the ideal orifice with his tongue. Placing both hands on Freddy's buttocks, squeezing them happily and giving them both a quick bite, he spread them and started enthusiastically slurping upwards at the male's anus, which was slightly moist with perspiration. Ned and his object of desire both growled with lust, Freddy pushing back with his muscles and twisting his back in order to provide Ned with a better angle for his feasting.

The bear loved the sort of attention quite immensely. He always found Freddy's backside to have a sensual taste and the male's aroma was so much stronger here it only drove his frenzy further and further. Ned slurped wetly at Freddy's hot sphincter, wetting not only the anus but the surrounding flesh around it, pushing with his tongue against the opening as hard as he could, and trying desperately to get at least a few millimeters of penetration.

Freddy enjoyed the attention as much as the male administering it. The triple combination of sensations, the wet and hot tongue, the tickling fuzziness of the lips, and the cold nose, invigorated him completely. The only way his state of mind could devour him more fully was powerful and vigorous sodomy, which he was desperately craved and would receive in only a few seconds.

Without any sort of warning, Ned stood upright and forced his glistening, swollen member up into Freddy's rectum. The exquisite and painful sensation was utterly arresting. The bear had given him no time to loosen the muscles of the area or let himself relax enough to accommodate the intruding appendage. It stung, but quite astonishingly, it more so felt very appealing. The rough and burning sensation was novel and he accepted the pain with minimal protest, only letting himself grimace and try to endure it until his backside was able to adapt to the sweet brutality. Freddy cringed and groan in pained lust.

Ned began slowly at first, but did not waste too much time on gentle pleasantries, and proceeded into his signature, savage manhandling after only three soft thrusts and retracts. His thick, red member stretched the human's innards, it seemed, till they burned and ruggedly stimulated the prostate. He could feel every single entry, each one sliding deep into him, and he could feel the prickling of the monster's fur pressing up against his flesh.

Through the minor agony and the prolonged effects of chemical inebriation, Freddy focused on the energy detonating from the conjoined forces, the sexuality of both males entwined with each other filling his head with extended invigoration. The booze, the burning, glorious bliss in his backside, the heated and affectionate breathing on his neck and ears, all submerged him indefinitely. Ned clutched his lover tightly, letting his grasp slip for only a second during each inward thrust; keeping his face close to Freddy's, he wanted to hear the human's voice, his sighs and groans of passion, feeling them increase his speed and delight.

At some point during the majestic gratification, Freddy had decided to throw open the window, pulling and tugging at the glass aperture until the panel slide to the right, allowing an astonishing blast of cool, night air to cascade within and disrupt the accumulated heat. Ned loved the idea and chuckled, saying softly into his lover's ear that their conduct would surely been seen by someone.

Freddy's body chilled and he could feel his sweat evaporating. With that breeze, the energy of midnight and the scent of Aurthurs, the forest and waters beyond reaching them via those gargantuan winds above with the clouds, Freddy could tangibly perceive his radiance increase in vibration, taking in the additional pleasure. Within his body he could feel the convulsive orgasms erupt from his bowels, shaking the foundation of his legs and arms, trying with all his might to keep firm hold and not topple over, effectively destroying what they had created.

"I'm coming, Freddy." Ned stated through his hissing growls. Freddy thought he could do the same simply by hearing it, feeling the hot goo filling him with its viscous nature. He seized his own phallus, only slightly softened from the exertion of being jostled around during their exercise. With a few determined squeezes and pumps, he replied to his lover's actions and climaxed only seconds afterwards.

The sudden and abrupt depletion of energy caused them both to collapse soon after their mutual ejaculations, both slowly descending to the floor to rest and bask in the exceptional resplendence of their energetic journey. Neither of the males could summon the energy to even speak.

Freddy could feel, after about some minutes of snuggling close into the soft body of his bear, the slick fluid seeping out from his backside, letting it drip into the carpet. When he had climaxed, his load of sperm had fallen to a small pool on the carpet as well, and wondered if he should try to absorb some of it up with paper towels. In his own home, getting their semen on his sheets was fine (as he could wash them); he felt he would like to show some consideration to the city that he had grown so quickly attached to. Standing up, which seemed to surprise his bear, he moved unsteadily to the restroom to find some.

"Are you sure I'm not hurting or injuring you when I do that?" Ned asked, moving forward in order to flop himself on one of the two beds. Freddy shrugged, looking towards him. He considered his next words for a moment.

"To be honest with you, I've taken guys a lot bigger than you many times before. And I've been practicing taking bigger parts, toys and stuff since I was about 13 years old. I'm very well capable, don't worry. I don't wanna mean to sound like I'm calling your awesome cock small, I'm just letting you know it's not a problem to take it." He was honest yes, yet his backside did burn slightly now. It was of no consequence, it was an acceptable result from such wonderful sex.

Ned chuckled and agreed with the statement, his fears of hurting the dear lover now gone. But there was a strong curiosity now in its place: Freddy's body could take the excessive workouts that Ned's plentiful groin would give it, and more, it seemed. What, then, was the story of those other guys? Ned had portrayed the faces and memories of his past relationships at the request of Freddy, but the human had not yet deigned to reciprocate and bestow a similar knowledge of his own past.

It, obviously, caused no dismay to the bear. If Freddy truly did not wish to relive memories for any sort of reason, Ned would accept that and forsake his curiosity as best he could. As he watched his lover stride across the room, naked and still smelling good like the hot and bothered brute he had been only minutes ago, Ned believe he understood the reason for Freddy's hitherto taciturnity in the context of his past.

Given Freddy's obvious reservations about the Den, along with his subsequent weakness to chem addiction, and his alcoholism, Ned knew that the probable resolution resided somewhere with those concepts. Perhaps his past lovers or partners had been of poor character and abused or manipulated him. Ned had already promised himself to be as loving and considerate to Freddy as possible, as far as the capacity for such a thing could allow. He resolved quietly with himself that he would never mistreat Freddy. When the time came, later... eventually... Ned would profess this.

That it was much later in the night than previously guessed, the lovers took to bed after a long, hot shower in the spacious lavatory and made forced protests and lamentations to the fact they would only get about six hours of sleep.