FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

"She's a wonderful woman. She's caring, she's understanding, she worries a bit, but she has a sense of humour to off-set it, though. She likes to swim, but she's got a sort of, well, chubbiness - I know, but I still find it beautiful. Just a different kind. She's a small-town Beaver, so she's been thinking of changing her name from Agatha, but I thought there's no need to if she can just get called Aggie.

"Oh, and she's also wanted to try out one of those sex toys that's a dildo on a piston. It sounds like a silly idea, but I told her I'd help her dream come true!" Spab gave a whickering laugh and reached over to hug me. "You really love to experiment, don't you?"

"Hey, first, it's for her, and secondly, even if I'm not around when she tries it, it'll be a good experience for both of us. Well, especially for her. Agpth." The grunt and squirm happened when Spab tried to kiss me. The big, chestnut Stallion had been a trusted friend of mine for a while, though his sexuality was a mirror image of mine: while I had a love of straightness, with a kind of awed admiration of handsome males, he found guys beautiful and femmes handsome. Though we did have some hot, rough fun together - I'd run my face or paws up and down his powerful, muscular body, from his thick neck, down his smooth contours down to his sturdy legs or iron-football arms, or he'd run his big fingers through my thicker fur, nuzzling his way between my developing pecs and abs, commenting how buff and firm I'd been getting - we'd been tapering it off ever since I'd been getting consistent with Aggie. We happily stayed friends, and I made sure to send any of the less predatory guys who came on to me his way. Nothing solid had happened from it yet, mainly because Spab would rather meet people on his own terms.

I still let him kiss me, though he knew that I couldn't have returned them even before I'd met Aggie, without feeling insincere about it. "Come on, I've got all kinds of reasons not to kiss you," I joked at him.

"I know," he smiled back at me. "And when I find someone special, I'll only have kisses for him." We shared one last hug before heading off, both of us feeling generally contented.

Later That Week... It was a cool, sunny day out, and not even humid. I was heading off at full speed to a date with Aggie, pockets full of anything I might need, feeling like nothing could get in my way! Then, someone got in my way. I saw the guy as I was running on the sidewalk, and I knew he saw me, so I leapt to one side so he'd know the direction I was heading, but the guy - oh no, him again - looked to one side, flashed as obnoxious a smirk as he could manage, and stepped backwards just as I was about to pass him. Of course, I crashed into him, almost losing my balance, while he just shouted out, "owheywatchwhereyou'rerunningslutfox!"

"Ho-kun, why haven't you been arrested - oh, you're changing your slur now, too? Sorry I can't hang around," I added, trying to cut him off, "but I have somewhere important to go." I turned around, but he called out from behind me, "Why rush, SlutFox? I already let the news drop!"

I turned back around. This guy had been bothering me ever since I helped him out of a stupor I-don't-know-when ago. He claimed to be half-Magic Japanese Raccoon Dog (I looked it up, they're called Tanuki), half-Evil Korean Fox Demon (usually spelled Kumiho). The genius usually gave his name as Tanukumiho-kun, and he tried to be as annoying as possible. Worse, he was proud of it.

All he wore was a mesh shirt and no pants (he loved to brag about that, maybe thinking Donald Duck stole pantslessness from him). A few stubby tails hung from his dumpy butt, though I think at least a few of them were clip-ons. Piercings clinked from his ears, his hair had been dyed pink, black and yellow-green, and he always had a red colour-contact in his one good-yet-blood-shot eye; the other one was some sort of weird, spirally thing I don't know how or even whether he could see with it. I also assumed he'd filed his teeth into points, to further add to that smirk he always had. He always carried around a knife he'd taped to a glow stick, which he loved to wave around, and the outward-facing headphones around his neck (which I never saw attached to anything) always kept blasting out what sounded like a power drill backwards over dial-up noise. His fur bristled in places from scars, and all of his speech balloons were in Comic Sans.

All in all, some of that whining about how much "they" hate furries and want to set fire to them was probably started by furries like him.

"Have you been stalking me again? Remember what happened last time?"

"Yeah, you were soooo mad," he smirked. "And I don't have to run places, 'cause unlike you, I've got a phone! Wanna hear my ringtone?"

"No! Look, even when you say you 'remix the facts,' you're lying. So if you've been lying to my friends-"

"Lol, no! I know about whatcha get up to! After all, I'm your crazy, evil split p-"

"Stop that! Mental issues don't work that way and you know it!" Passersby had been stepping around him, some of them trying not to look at him or wrenching up their noses as they did. They guy just kept ignoring everything sensible, like advice, reality, and Cease & Desist orders. "Ho-kun,"

"The % is silent!" he interrupted again.

"Just - Leave me alone, and keep it that way." He gulped a painkiller he'd pulled from behind his ear, and I started sprinting again.

At Annie's

We'd agreed to meet at my favourite place to eat; they'd even put one of the reviews I wrote for the place up on the window. I slowed down as I closed in, so I wouldn't be out of breath when I got there. Hopefully, that guy back there was just trying to ruin things for me, but in case he really was spreading lies, I didn't want to be too busy catching my breath to explain myself.

Even though it was a gourmet bakery, that sold cookies, buns and croissants with just about anything baked inside, it still had a few tables and chairs for anyone who wanted to sample its wares right there. The Dragoness who owned the place was good at both baking and business, and was really welcoming too!

"Gareth, I'm so glad you could make it!" Aggie was already at one of the tables, looking beautiful in a yellow sundress with bangles and bracelets on her arms. They really set off the sheen of her brownish fur. She also looked kind of worried, which got me worrying again too.

"Well, I always make it. Is anything wrong, or is there anything on your mind?"

"No, nothing, it's fine," she replied. I felt relieved, but she still looked worried to me. She was always happy when I was open with her, and I didn't want to pry into anything she didn't want to tell me.

I ordered a curry bun and a savoury mushroom roll, while she picked a big crumble nut bun; we split a plate of strawberry tarts for dessert, with a big glass of chocolate milk each. Though I enjoyed every bite, the food didn't manage to pull up that worried mood of hers. After we did the paying for the delicious lunch, I asked her again, what was on her mind.

"...Gareth, do you love me?"

I gave a happy nod.

"I'd still like to hear it," she kind of muttered.

"Well, we haven't been together for very long, but sure, once we get to know each other well enough, sure I'll-"

"You're sure? Me, and no-one else?"

"Well, I love my family, but in a different way from-"

"You know what I mean," she interrupted me again.

"Just in case, though, could you explain it to me? In case I don't?" She was worried. I could see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice, and even smell it from her short, glossy fur. I didn't want to make that guess or say anything rhetorical in case she'd take me literally. Then she'd misunderstand and I'd have to apologize for it, and the more I'd deny her worry, the more guilty I'd sound, but she'd never refused to listen to me before, since Aggie was wise and calm enough to-

"Sorry, what was that again?" She'd finished saying something, but I couldn't hear her over my thinking out loud.

Aggie sighed. It was part-theatrical, part-sad, but that slow way she did it made me want to hug her tightly and whisper about how I'd never let her down. "You know because the other day, you told me how you'd never betray anyone, right after I said that I couldn't trust anyone who'd been keeping things from me."

I had to pause for a bit. I decided on something that couldn't possibly get misunderstood, but the pause itself might have gotten thought of as a "making-up-a-lie" kind of pause. "I still believe that, but I hope nobody's been lying about me to you."

Her eyebrows went from up to down, but they still stayed together. "I'd hope your friend was lying, but if the kinds of friends you keep are-"

"He isn't my friend, or anything else of mine he says he is!"

"Please let me finish. If he was lying about being your friend, he was lying about everything else, right? You haven't been yi- haven't been fooling around with males?" I happily shook my head. If that was all, then both our worries weren't issues at all. "Nope, I have not. I had to turn down all kinds of advances ever since we first went out!" Aggie sat back down, and she didn't seem to be relieved at all. "But you didn't before me?"

"...So? Wouldn't you be more worried about any other femmes I've been with instead?"

"No! I was happy that you didn't mind being my third, but I haven't," she went into a kind of embarrassed mumble, "actually lain with any femmes..." Though her fur was too dark and thick to see her blush, I could get the change in her scent. It made me want to hug her tightly, though I knew I had to be supportive in another way. "That doesn't matter to me. Straightness is great, but if you ever want to explore yourself, I wouldn't want to get in your way. I'd be supportive, like we talked about last time."

"So if I told you," she snapped, "that I wanted to go off and... And canoodle around with some hot Doe, you'd want me to?"

"Well, if you wanted to, and nobody wanted to get jealous or suspicious, all you'd need to do is introduce her to me so-"

"So what, you could have your threesomes?!"

"No, so nobody would get jealous or suspicious, like I just said!" We were getting louder and angrier! I had to slow it all down so we wouldn't snap stuff out. "Look, I'd never want to hide behind your back, especially not with any other femmes. I wouldn't even want two mates at once, and wouldn't that assumption be, I dunno, biphobia? If neither of us wants to ruin what we've got, why get worried about stuff we don't know all the way through?"

She started to let go of her frustration, which was especially good because it was quiet around us. I didn't look away, but I guessed that some of the bakers had been listening to us.

"I know," she mumbled, "but, it's just, well, even if you won't fool around with even other males, you already did before. I mean, how can I kiss you without thinking..."

"...How can I kiss his lips without wondering how many cocks they've sucked?"

Yeah, the problem with the worst possible things to say is that, when you're pressed for time, you only realize that right after you've said them.

Not only did she frown, but some of the bakers burst into laughter. That just made things worse, because when Aggie spun on her heel and stormed off, I was too ashamed to even think of saying anything. All I did was stand there as she slammed the door shut with her tail. Thankfully, all of the people who were listening only laughed at what I said, and not at my humiliation, since they'd stopped as soon as she'd started leaving. By the time the echo of her tail against the door ended, the large Dragonnes who ran the place had burst out of the back room, admitted to having listened at the door, and offered a breath-squeezing hug. Though I knew what Rykela's affection was like, I wasn't in the mood.

That Afternoon

Rhazagal was happy to join me; we mainly sat on a bench with notebooks, him plotting out a road trip with friends, and me writing a guide on how to avoid the kinds of hostels where they try to kill you. Though really, I mainly told him what had happened with Aggie, and he gave me his advice.

"Don't even look back," he suggested between chortles. "If you won't let her turn you straight, she won't stop being biphobic."

I'd known Rhazagal ever since I tried to research why the Elves-and-Dwarves War ended up in space; the slightly-scruffy Hyena happily called himself a Rainbow Warrior, and not just because he thought all Space Soldiers looked handsome in uniform. We were actually never attracted to each other (and not just because I'm a peacenik), though we'd been fast friends.

"...Biphobic? I always thought people just got confused and stuck it in homophobia, with all kinds of other things."

"You could say so, but is it because she's afraid that you're really secretly gay, or that you want nothing but three-ways? Incidentally, we could always use another batter on our team," he grinned.

He'd made those kinds of offers before. "No thank you, though I'd always step up if you need a switch-hitter! Uh, but seriously, I don't know which scares her. Once she knows her fears are unfounded, though, we should be even closer for overcoming a great big issue together. I don't want to give up on her for having jumped to conclusions; she could even keep at them, and think I'd plan to rebound right into your arms or someone's."

"Just tell her my arms would drop you since you won't be wearing a suit and tie, and go find a more understanding lady. Trying to change her would work about as well as when femmes try to change their males."

"Okay, but we've compromised before. I'll figure out how to explain things, and then do that to her. If Aggie understands, then we can figure out where to go from there. If she can't, then I won't get both of us angry for no reason."

"Why not? If she refuses to listen to you, just shout out that she's turned you off of women forever and sent you into a rebound to the next hung stud that you meet! It's what she'll be thinking, anyway."

"Nuh-unh. If being whiny and spiteful is the only advice you can give, just tell me your plans for where you're going next month."

Next Week

I'd called Aggie, who'd agreed to meet up somewhere private and discuss the issue. She never said anything about misunderstanding me, but she was quick to agree to "settling this", which wasn't a good sign. Apparently, the park I liked to go to wasn't "neutral ground", so she suggested a bench by a river. It was a really calm-looking place, and it'd be really beautiful at sunset. Sitting down and relaxing on the bench, it felt like it really would be a great place for calm discussions-

Until I heard a growing thumping noise behind me, which was different from the footsteps. I hoped it was someone else who'd just pass by, but a shifting breeze annoyed my nose as much as my other senses would be. Yeah, it was him again.

"Soooooo," he drew it out for long enough to be creepy, "how'd it go?"

"Go away, Ho-kun."

"But I need your help! I don't know where to put the breast implants on Thomas the Tank-"

"How do you keep this up all day? Do you go home and be secretly understanding for an hour?"

"Don't tell me to be normal and boring like you," he smirked. "Nobody's ever gonna forget about me, durr!"

"They're going to try..." I worried for a bit about Aggie talking with him some more, but she probably could stand him even less than me. "But still," I added, "stop following me." He practically tried to stick his nose in my ear and whined, "I just wanna know how it went! Did she gang-yiff you with her brother, or did she want to become male for you first?"

I almost shoved him away, but I didn't want to even touch him. "Grrr! Thanks to you, she can't trust me! She thinks I only want threesomes, or something! You shoved yourself between us, and if you show up the next time I talk with her, I'm getting that restraining order!"

"Yeah! Everyone knows the only way to make friends is to never give up and never stop trying, no matter what happens! ...Wanna read my Creepy Po-"

"That's it! I'm leaving! You blight on this world, give it a rest forever!" Leaping up off the bench and running away, if Aggie understood me, I'd invite her on another trip with me. If she didn't, I'd take it myself.

Later, At That Same Place

I brought some food with me, so that Aggie and I could have dinner together. Thanks to eating, looking at water and a sunset, we had three things to help with calm conversation. I thought I'd get there early, but instead of leaving earlier, I made sure to pack a few sandwiches, cookies, and fruit juice and ran there. If I hadn't been there before, I would've gotten lost; so I got to the riverside bench, out of breath, to find Aggie already there, well-brushed and smelling nice.

As soon as her shampoo-enhanced fragrance hit my nose, I felt embarrassed for showing up the way I did. To try to start things off well, I sat down beside her and got out the picnic I'd made.

"...Thank you, Gareth."

"You're welcome! Would you like the avocado and jarlsberg sandwich, or the -"

"No thanks. I don't want to talk with my mouth full." I just got the distant tone of her voice then. I wanted us to work our way up to the Big Issue; not to dodge it.

"Oh, okay then. ...So, Aggie. I didn't-"

"Yes, Gareth?"

"I didn't mean to offend you or anything. You got-"

"But you did," she interrupted, "blurting out the worst possible thing to say in front of everyone."

I looked back on it and almost laughed, but tried my best to keep a straight face. It just might have made it more noticeable, though. "But nobody was making fun of us, and you could've stayed to tell me if I was wrong."

"No, you weren't wrong. That was why announcing it to everyone was the worst thing to do."

"But nobody cared, and I just cared about you! I brought it up so we could deal with it, not to shove you away."

"Then why didn't you follow after me?"

"You were angry, and it's hard to listen when you're angry."

"...You're right," she kind of sighed, "but you didn't have to shout it out like that."

"I didn't shout, Aggie, I-"

"You know what I mean. I... Gareth, once a bond of trust is broken, it can never be as strong as it-"

"Really? It breaks so easily that a creepy stranger can just say, 'Your love's a butt-humping slut Fox,' out of nowhere, and that ruins it forever?"

"Why would anyone make that accusation for no reason?"

"...That guy does all kinds of things for no reason, or just bad ones. The point is, though -"

"The point is," she interrupted again, "he turned out to be right. I mean, in part." She saw how hurt I got, and back-pedalled. "You're still... Attracted to other males, and I'm not sexist, but-"

"I'd never mount anyone behind your back, no matter who offers. Sorry for interrupting again!"

"Thank you. But that isn't what worries me..." She let it hang, and I listened to the water for a bit, but when I was about to ask her what did worry her, she spoke up again. "So Gareth, just how many cocks have you sucked?"

"I don't know! After the first time, I never kept count. It's like... When we mate, it's all loving and cuddly, right? But when it was just a night of hot rough fun with a close friend, I could give it all up for you and not even mind. I mean, even if you wanted to experiment with that hot Doe-"

"Oh right, but that's your fantasy, not mine."

"No, it isn't. Just so long as that hypothetical Doe didn't want you all to herself or get all suspicious about us, I'd say go ahead, and if you got uncomfortable, then you'd come out even more secure in your straightness!"

"But that's unfair, pushing me into some femme like that!"

Off in the distance, we could hear a Bird singing under his headphones. Other than that, it sounded like her accusation even made the river stop.

"...Aggie," I finally replied, "that wouldn't be about me, there'd be no pushing, and - please don't interrupt me - and if you never wanted that, I'd be happy to help you find one of those great big vibrator machines like you wanted. I wouldn't mind if - look, you can climax without me, so long as nothing gets between us-"

"But you can? Gareth, I'm not going to just, just change my sexuality to match your-"

"Aggie, you're missing the point! I'm willing to change for you, but you keep assuming I never-"

"But you shouldn't," she almost laughed, with tears in her eyes. "Nobody should change their sexuality, even for a lover. I'm - I know you wouldn't be happy that way, and I couldn't otherwise."

I had to sniffle to realize that my eyes were tearing up too. "It doesn't have to be one-or-the-other. There could be a way..." I paused, expecting her to interrupt again, but she didn't. "I mean, I want you to be happy for your sake."

"And I want you to feel fulfilled too. No matter who's helping you." We paused, waiting for someone to say something, then flopped toward each other, hugging, kissing and crying.

Some Time Later

"So, you just broke up then and there?"

"Well, we agreed to stay regular friends, she still couldn't understand me completely, and I promised her I'd introduce her to anyone who knows where to rent one of those things."

That got a whicker out of the Mare I was talking to, which made me feel like I shouldn't have mentioned it. Amethyst, a tall, brownish femme with long, darker-brown hair, never really liked minerals or jewellery. It made me wonder if her parents had been hippies, but I figured it would've been rude to ask. We agreed on most things, and thanks to her quiet, intricate creativity, I'd had to remind myself not to look over her shoulder. Still, she was always helpful when it came to moral support.

"It still hurt, didn't it?"

"Yeah, for both of us. I'm just glad it didn't end in an angry shouting match, or with us suppressing anything."

"Mm-hmm. Hey Gareth, if I went in for a tramp stamp, what should it be?"

I rolled my eyes and sighed at the same time. "Amethyst, you shouldn't get a tattoo just because some children's cartoon show told you to. If you really want one, though, why not get something around your wrist or ankle instead? Hey, anyway, I just came out of a weird breakup, and don't want to rebound into anyone for a while. Do you have anything to recommend for that?"

She gave me a caring smile and a small binder full of paper from one of her drawers. "Here. I just finished this, and I've been meaning to proofread it. It's got stuff you like and nothing you hate; take as long as you want."

"Aw, thanks! I'll give it back by next week!" Before we shared the story, we shared a friendly hug.