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Nightmares

I dreamed.

People swished by, swept in bright ribbon trails like echoing spirits. Their faces were blank, bare of all features except an indistinguishable mouth.

Their voices echoed and blurred.

I'm sorry.

There's nothing I can do.

We can't help you.

You don't qualify for aid.

You have my condolences.

Nameless faces. People I could barely remember. People who didn't care. Doctors. Receptionists. Insurance agents. Government workers. Not a single one cared.

Another face. A man, barely able to be called such. My first love.

I don't think it'll work out between us.

He left to attend college far away. Okay. I was young. I got over it.

His face was replaced with another. Slightly older. Handsome. But in my dream, his face was warped and contorted.

I love you.

You should work out more.

I love you.

I don't want to bottom, ever.

I love you.

Can I have some money?

I love you.

A tombstone. Sadness. An old ache, dulled but still there.

Another man. Old. Business suit. Angry.

You're fired.

My boss morphed into my last boyfriend again.

I can't handle you right now.

You're being too emotional.

I can't deal with this.

I don't love you.

Sorrow.

He fades. Another man. The first doctor. Emotionless.

I'm sorry, but her chances are low. We'll do everything we can.

Lies.

A body. There's no head, only a black void. Her voice comes over a phone.

She's reached the limits of your policy. I'm sorry, but there's nothing else we can do for her.

Her face. She's sick. She's lost all her hair. She's coughing. I plead.

We can sell the house to pay for more chemo.

She shakes her head.

No. If the treatment fails, you'll have nothing left. The house...is my last gift to you.

She disappears. I cry.

I wallow in misery. Months pass. My unemployment benefits dry up. More faceless people. More apologies. They can do nothing. I can't find a job.

I sob in front of my mother's home's door, lying there and hoping he'd return. Days pass, and my rosy glasses are broken. Life is cold and dark.

I end up hating humanity. I have to run away, away from all the pain and sadness and apathy. I sell the last thing my mother gave to me and move away, far away. Her last gift was really freedom, but I regret not trying to spend the money for even a chance to save her life.

Regret. Loss. The trees, the rivers, the beauty of the mountains wrap around my vision and soothe my aching soul. The hurt becomes bearable.

The songs of birds, the chirping of crickets. Nature is my companion, but loneliness seeps back into my heart.

Every night I look out at the stars and think of what might be out there. The stars twinkle their majestic light, but they are all surrounded by darkness, blankets of black and hopelessness.

I go down to the big river by my log cabin. I stare into the watery mirror and see a broken face, cheeks that have felt too many tears.

I look closer and closer until I fall into the reflection.

I feel the water burn. I choke, and try to scream.

But this was what I wanted, wasn't it?

I feel something warm grip my shoulders. Warmth wraps around me.

I wake up.

A voice pierced the grogginess.

"Anthony! Anthony, are you okay?"

I looked aside me. It's dark. Who's that? What is this warmth all around me?

My brain settled down from the nightmare. Memories flooded back. It's Zack, my love. An alien who'd come down from the twinkling stars and illuminated my life. He's here. He's real. His wings are on me like a blanket. I'm alive. I'm awake. I'm happy.

I clutched at him from under his wings like a baby trying to find its mother. My hands felt the big scales on his chest, and their warmth, their smooth texture, reassured me that he's real. I felt water run down my cheeks and gasped.

"Gods, you're real," I stammered. "You're here. Please tell me you're here."

Familiar scaly hands caressed my hair and my back. "I'm here," he said. "I'm real."

My head found his snout and rubbed along its side. The nightmare faded, and I felt warmth flood back into me.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I had a bad dream."

He nuzzled me and glided his hand along my cheeks, wiping away my tears. "It's okay," he whispered. "You scared me. You were sniffling, and then suddenly you were gasping like you were choking."

"I--I was, sort of." I sucked in a deep breath, the air giving my nose a lovely dose of his scent. "But it's okay now, I'm alright."

He gave me a short kiss and nuzzled me some more. "You sure?"

The dream had renewed the hurt I'd buried, and it made my heart heavy. I tried to block the image of my mother while she was hooked up to all those machines, but the image was too fresh. My voice failed, and I dug myself close to my dragon's neck. "No," I muttered, and then I started crying again. "I'm sorry," I stuttered, trying my best to stifle the tears. "I'm trying to stop, but it's too hard."

"Don't force yourself to stop," his lovely voice said. "Just let it happen, love. I'm here for you."

It took a while for me to recover. The dream had seemed so vivid, and it had uncovered old wounds. Zack held me through until I was able bury them again, his sweet presence quelling my sadness in a way I'd never be able to do alone.

I didn't want to go back to that state of loneliness. Never again.

I was scared. I could feel Zack's warmth wrapped up all around me, but what if this was a dream? What if the nightmare was real?

My hands wandered all around his smooth scales, my fingers challenging the difference between reality and imagination. "I'm afraid to go back to sleep," I said. "I don't want you to be a dream. Please be real, prove you're real."

I felt him shift subtly, the wing covering me sliding a bit to the side. A hot wave of air washed over my face, his pleasant breath, and then there were pebbly little scales pressed against my mouth. My lips parted to accept his kiss, and warm flesh almost immediately entered my mouth. His tongue wasted no time staying idle and explored every part of my mouth, and I tried to catch it with my far less maneuverable one.

It took a while, but I managed to twist his tongue around until it was trapped under mine. My arms remained tight around him, holding him to make sure he wouldn't disappear.

"Doesh shish feel real enough?" he said.

I released his tongue and mumbled, "Mhmm."

His tongue reeled back, and his snout retreated, leaving me with an uncomfortable cold. I felt a scaled hand press against my chest and soothe my heart. It glided along my skin, two very different textures melding together, and went lower and lower. It paused at my navel before continuing its journey downward, and I let my breaths grow shallower as it went.

Was I naked? Yes, the memory returned. We had mated before I'd gone to sleep, and we were both bare. His gentle hand found nothing obstructing it on its way down, and before long I felt his loving caress around my loins.

I felt his hot breath tickle my ear. "Need more proof?" he whispered.

I let out a moan as he wrapped his hand around my growing need. I wiggled my head around until I made contact with his pebbly cheeks. "Please," I uttered, "do everything you can to show me."

He rumbled out a low purring sound. "Roll over for me?" he whispered.

I didn't want to face away from him right now, but I switched to laying on my other side for him. I had an idea of what he wanted to do with me, but I needed him to do something for me too. "Knot me tonight," I said after turning over. "Please."

"I don't want to force it--"

"No," I said. "I need you. I want all of you. It'll hurt physically, I know, but trust me, it'll be nothing compared to what I just felt."

An arm folded across my chest and held me affectionately. He had raised his wing slightly to let me turn over, and it draped back down to keep me warm. "Okay," he said softly. "But I want you to tell me if it's too much."

Gods, I loved him so much. Even when I offered myself wholly to him, he was still worried about me. He cared about what I thought. He really loved me.

Aside from my parents, I hadn't felt that kind of real love before I'd met him. I thought I did, but now I knew the truth. What I had now was precious, and I'd do anything to keep it, anything to make him happy, anything to never be alone again.

Zack wasn't even my species. He'd told me how dragons were a nomadic race that had spent some time on Earth before they were driven out by humanity, half of which wanted to slay them and the other half of which wanted to worship them. It was rather profound how the society I'd lived in was branched off of old western civilization where they'd made them out to be monsters. Zack wasn't a monster at all. They had wanted to perceive physical monsters, but I believed they'd done it to prevent themselves from seeing the monsters within themselves.

I wanted to believe I was just unlucky. I wanted to think I'd just met the wrong people in my life. Maybe I was being too much of an optimist. Regardless, my fortune had finally turned around with him.

"Anthony?"

His voice drove my negative thoughts away. "Mm," I grunted.

"You'll tell me if it hurts too much, okay?"

"Mhmm," I mumbled.

"Just a few seconds," he said. "Let me grab the lube."

His arm slipped away and his wing lifted around as he turned to open the drawer next to our bed. The colder air in the room felt like it had been waiting for this moment to rally and attack me, making me nearly choke from the lack of Zack. I was vulnerable, afraid, and I felt like I was drowning in the dream river again, dying of loneliness, and I wanted him to return. There was a click from a bottle, a squirting sound, and then another click. It felt like he was gone for minutes, and I started shivering, but then he came back and covered me with his wing, sheltering me from the chill.

"You're cold," he said, rubbing a hand across my chest.

I took hold of his arm and held it tightly. "I need you."

His muzzle slid along my cheek again, and I nuzzled it lovingly. Something prodded along my lower back, searching for an opening, and I raised my upper leg to help it find its target.

Zack pushed me a little more over onto my front so that he could access my rear. I moaned as I felt his tapered head enter me, filling me with warmth from the inside and soothing the hurt within my heart.

Even though I had a near death grip on the arm in front of me, his hand could still reach one of my nipples, and he squeezed it softly while he pushed his slick shaft into me. I involuntarily moaned from the treatment--Zack knew exactly how to make my toes curl.

It was easy for him to hilt his as of yet unknotted cock into me. I hadn't tightened up yet from our session before we'd gone to bed together, and the lube on his member was re-hydrating the dried seed he had pumped into me before I fell into my nightmare, letting him slip through even easier.

He rocked into me slowly, a gentle expression of love. I could tell he wasn't spooning with me for just his own pleasure. My old boyfriend had been rough even after my father died. I hadn't wanted to see the truth for what it was, and it had made our separation even more devastating.

Zack was not him. My dragon wanted to make sure I was not in pain, both physically and mentally. He stayed at an easy, tranquil pace. He made sure I felt every ridge on his exotic cock with each thrust, every bit of texture rub off against my prostate. His hand kept on caressing my nub, my grip preventing him from touching my other one. I didn't know where his other hand was, but I assumed he was using it support himself to angle himself better.

Time passed almost like a dream, but this one was a pleasant one. My cock was rock hard and dribbling pre without having been touched at all--just his love was enough to drive me towards the edge of climax. Even at the leisurely pace my loving mate was winding into me, I felt the big ball of flesh at the base of his shaft grow in what seemed like just a few minutes, but probably was over an hour.

The fancy advanced space lube stayed slippery throughout, and I was thankful for it when the time finally came. Zack bumped his knot against my butt for about a minute, I think, and then he started the final push.

The first third of his bulb went in without much complaint. We'd trained this far already, but then came the halfway point. That was when it started to really sting, and progress slowed considerably. I raised my leg higher to encourage him to keep going, trying to spread myself as wide as possible for him, and I felt scales wrap around my ankles to help keep me open.

His tail constricted around my leg with a lot less force than I was using to hold his arm. I knew my death grip was making him contemplate retreating, and I tried to force myself to relax, but the pain was sharp and made it difficult.

Still, I needed him, and I was able to hold off.

He was reluctant. He always was. He didn't want to hurt me, he didn't want to see me scrunch my face, he didn't want to hear my teeth grinding. I knew what he was thinking right now. He couldn't see my face while he pushed into me lying like this, but he knew I was straining my eyes shut, and he was right. He was holding back, and I didn't want him to. The stinging pain dulled and spiked in waves, and I tried to relax even more to take him in, but he wasn't pushing hard enough.

So I did the hard part for him. I pressed my rear back against him, and the pain spiked again, but I trudged through it because I wanted both of us to experience all we had for each other.

I could feel the bulb slide. I went down on it harder. More flesh slipped through my tight ring. Just a little more...

I heard him growl lustfully. "Ngh, almost there..."

"Don't stop," I stammered, barely able to unclench my teeth. "Don't you dare pull back."

He didn't. He pushed harder to meet my pressure. I felt more flesh slide, and then the pain was gone.

I passed through some critical point, and his knot slipped right into me. All the pain exploded into blinding pleasure as his massive bulb absolutely flattened my pleasure gland, making it surge and flinging me right over the edge.

As I sensed my first string of seed flow to the tip of my cock, I felt Zack tighten everything on me. His wing pressed down harder onto me, his tail tightened considerably around my leg, his arm pressed snugly against my chest, and his muzzle mashed against my cheeks. I even noticed the subtle motion of his balls, the soft scaly sac sliding slightly up my butt cheeks, ready to unload.

My first shot sputtered out, staining the bed sheets with fresh cum. One contraction was all it took to coax a soft roar from my sexy dragon, and I felt the entirety of his cock, knot and all, pulse as my second blast of cream sprayed out harder and hit parts of his wing membrane.

His body was warmer than mine, and I could feel his heat entering me. This time, there was so much more of that sweet liquid warmth, and with my insides clamping down on his knot, he pumped for longer than he ever had before.

It wasn't until we were both done emptying our balls did we realize that we'd been holding our breaths. In near unity, we both exhaled and gasped for breath which had the added side benefit of making us smell the heavy musky scent we'd soaked the room with.

When our lungs calmed down, we both relaxed our grips on each other and gave in to a soft afterglow.

Zack nuzzled my ear with the tip of his snout. "That was, that was..."

I shut my eyes, my body exhausted. "Amazing. Intense. I know."

"Does it feel good inside you?" he asked seductively.

"Yes," I said, moaning slightly. "Leave it in for me, will you? As long as possible."

His snout pulled up to my cheeks from behind and settled down. "I will," he said. He would explain later about his knot's circulatory bypass system that allowed it to stay inflated inside me for up to nearly a day if he wanted it to, and that he hadn't wanted to ruin the moment with a scientific explanation.

It was just as well that he would tell me the day after because I was utterly spent. I felt myself drifting towards sleep. The warmth of him, my soul mate, all around and inside me lulled me back to my slumber, but there was still a twinge of fear--I was afraid I'd return to the nightmare and never come back.

I clutched his soft white hair between his horns, the very same hair I'd tugged on the first time I met him to see if he was playing some sort of elaborate prank. It stayed on then, and it stayed on now. I smiled and accepted his body's heated invitation to drift back to sleep.

I dream again. He appears.

I'm still in the river, under the water, but it's not cold anymore and I'm facing upwards. I see the night stars glimmer through the crystal-like waves, the moon like a giant pearl hovering above.

I see his face through the water. He reaches down and pulls me out of the river, out of my sadness.

My dragon. From space. His grey scales shimmer under the moon and the stars. He takes me by the arm. He flaps his wings and we fly, soar out of the world and into the night sky. The wonders of the universe free me from the shackles of sorrow. The sky flickers, and images of places we'd visited together flash by. The water from the river dries off my skin slowly, but it never goes away completely.

The images settle on the interior of his spaceship. We're sitting together on his well-used couch. I feel his snout nuzzle against my cheek, digging up feelings I didn't think I could ever remember.

But I don't want to lead you astray. I can't say I love you. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

No lies. No deceit. No false promises.

A breath of fresh air.

Time marches on.

We sit closer on the couch day after day.

A year passes.

He says it.

I love you.

My heart flutters. All the sadness melts away. Not a drop of the river left on me. I feel renewed.

No lies. Never one in our entire year together.

He wasn't even human, but he'd been the most human out of all of them.

Life had warmth and light too, and it was worth living for.