FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

'Oh, man. You have got to be kidding me.' Connie muttered as much to the shrill beeping of her alarm clock as to herself. Or maybe she was grumbling at the morning itself. the young wolfess groaned amidst wave of despondency. Surely she had only just put her head down on the pillow barely five minutes ago. How could those eight hours have gone by in the blink of an eye? Not that she really remembered crawling into her bed, barely having the strength to chuck a tshirt over her panties, her mind slipping into the black oblivion of sleep before her alarm clock dragged her rudely awake.

'Come on. Up. Get up.' Connie urged before she could be tempted to slip back to sleep, putting words to action by tossing the blankets down to the foot of the bed, revealing all of her lupine body into view. Her plain white shirt contrasted nicely with her dark grey fur mixed with yellow patches of fur on her forearms, leading to the ebony black that covered her paws like the finest gloves. Unseen under her white shirt the black fur ran down over her stomach and chest, running delicately between her legs, getting smoother and silkier as it covered her crotch. Also unseen were the black and yellow markings along her shoulders and around her tail that formed what she liked to call her 'wings', the smooth edges rounded to something like butterfly wings, the two distinct patterns on her shoulders and butt connected by a thin black line surrounded by a stripe of yellow fur. As the yellow and black on her arms was mirrored almost by the colouring on her feet, her toes surrounded by black while her foot pads were a vibrant purple.

Sighing softly, she sat up, brushing her hair behind her ear, her finger brushing the tiny 'x' of fur that sat under her left eye as she cast around her bedroom which was in pretty much the same state she had left it in last night. Especially the small desk strewn with text books all open to different pages, cluttering up most of the available space.

Which was reason she had been up so late. Part of her said that her finals were still over three weeks away. But the rest of her seemed to be winning out with the argument that they were only three weeks away. Not to mention hammering home that so far she had done precious little to start on them. Which is why she couldn't spend today lying around. With one last great effort she swung herself out of bed, standing with a deep yawn that almost made her want to crawl back to bed. A urge she fought as she stripped and dressed quickly, just throwing on a fresh pair of panties, t-shirt and shorts that she grabbed from the top of her drawer. Pausing to only to tidy up her hair with a few sweeps of her paws she hurried downstairs.

The sounds from the kitchen told Connie her mother was awake before even stepped inside, as did the smell of freshly ground coffee coming from the pot in the centre of the table. Despite having most likely not gotten up much before her, her mother already looked like she had been awake for hours. Not just with how she looked bright eyed and busy tailed, her pure black fur from which Connie got some of her markings already immaculately brushed and preened. But also with how she was juggling two pans on the stove, knocking up a fry up in one and a stack of pancakes in another. All without having gotten a splash on her still pristine white trousers and spotless cream shirt, the latter with the top three buttons hanging open casually around her neck and down her front, the swell of her breasts still visible even given how loose the material hung.

'You are up early.' Alice turned from the stove, still attending to the cooking even though her attention didn't seem to be on it. I thought you might have a lie in today. I was going to make us a late breakfast.'

Connie felt a twinge of guilt that ran up to her ears, almost flattening down on her head in instinct. At least she managed to keep it from showing on her face as she crossed the kitchen, pausing to kiss her mother on the cheek. The breakfast did smell good. Which made what she was going to say even harder. 'Sorry mom. I have to go out. I want to check out a few books in the library before classes next week.'

'Don't you think you are working too hard?' Alice placed both pans on the marble sideboards, well away from the heat before flipping off the stove so she could face her daughter; her face and tone making it clear she had been working up to saying this for a while.

Connie tried not to bristle at that as she poured herself a bowl of cereal, the small action feeling like a slap in the face of her mother's kindness. Despite her resurgent guilt she still felt the hair rise up on the back of her neck. 'Didn't you say that college needed a lot more effort than high school?'

Once those words had been encouraging. But recently that certainty had been replaced by a doubt she couldn't shake.

'Yes. But that doesn't mean you have to burn yourself over it.' Alice said slowly. 'Surely you can take one day off. You've been working non stop for the past week, working right up to the moment you go to bed.'

'I can do that tomorrow.' Connie scarfed down the last of her cereal too fast to really taste it before chucking her bowl in the sink. If only she could be honest about why, that she was afraid to tell her how anxious she had failed. The thought of letting her down was terrifying. She wanted her to be proud of her. 'Gotta go. Love you mom.'

'That's what you said last weekend.' Her mother's voice followed Connie out of the front door, just not quiet reaching her ears.

---

Alice mother shook her head as she stood over her daughters desk, unable to pull her eyes away from the piles of discarded text books. 'She already has this many and she thinks she needs more?' She muttered these words out loud to try to help her push down the guilty squirming of her stomach as much as to not run over what she had said as she left. She knew she had no reason to feel guilty. But she still did. Not because of what she said. But mostly because she hadn't said it to her face. Silly as it sounded, she couldn't help worrying if she had pushed her to this somehow. Really that was just a distraction though. Her mind trying to make sense of this. Mostly because she wasn't sure what she could do to help her.

She wanted her daughter to have the experience she had never had. And to make the most of it. But had she gone too far down that path? And how could she find the words to say to help her see it differently. Didn't help that she wasn't seeing much of Connie either.

And that was her fault. Alice had been walking on eggshells around her, afraid to push her too far in case she stressed her out. It was cowardly but she couldn't think of anyway to get her to relax. And today was no different. That was why she was up here. Connie might resent her going into her room. But she needed to do something. And right now tidying her seemed to be the only thing she could do.

With a heavy sigh, she closed the first book with a snap, unable to stop one image rising in her head; flashing back to the day she had found Connie slumped over her desk, pen having fallen from her paw, the corner of the book pressing into her cheek as she snored. Not even that had woken her. Neither had she when her mother carried her to bed and tucked her in, her sweet girl so exhausted she didn't flutter an eyelid. Now she couldn't go to sleep at night without wondering if she had fallen asleep like that again.

With an effort she turned away from that thought, reaching for the next book. Or trying too. Her paw brushed the edge of it and it slid. Not enough to fall from the table but just enough to bump the mouse still connected to the still running computer, the screen suddenly flaring to life from the misinterpreted command.

She didn't see the screen at first. It was only when her paw closed on the mouse that she actually took in what she was seeing. And the shock of it made her freeze. At least in her body. Her mind was suddenly all too active, unable to believe what she was seeing. They say a picture tells a thousand words. Well, this one spoke a million to her right then. It was obviously a drawing. In a detached way her mind could identify that. But the content..that was what gave her pause. Almost in a daze her eyes stayed fixed on the young wolf girl lying on her back snug in a almost exaggeratedly thick diaper, her mouth open in a blissful giggle as she pulled one foot towards her mouth in an undeniably babyish pose. Babyish the pose might be but the girl was no infant that was for sure. Even dressed as she was in a pink onesie she couldn't help seeing the curve of her hips and chest beneath the loose material.

She was shocked, unable to think or to know what to say. Part of her was screaming she should leave right now. That this was an unforgivable intrusion into her daughter's privacy. But the rest of her just couldn't. Without any input from her brain, her paw was already moving the mouse to scan down the page, flicking away from the image to the comments beneath it. She wasn't exactly sure what she was looking for. But then just as suddenly as she had seen the image, she saw it. Just one comment that instantly caught her eye. Just five little words. But they jumped straight out of the page at her. 'I wish that was me.' And it was her daughters words. The user name above the caption was proof of that. It just took a glance at the username at the header of the site for her to know. ScarletWolfCutiePie. Even if she hadn't already made the connection, seeing that would have instantly made her think of her daughter she was sure. But she was rambling.

Part of her knew she should have be surprised. But she wasn't. Well, shocked might have been a better thing she wasn't. But she had already moved past that; her mind racing at light speed. Running away from her with ideas, the perfect idea to get her daughter to relax and actually talk to her. If she could actually pull it off. Which she thought she could. But she had a lot of work to do. Without wasting another second she dashed back downstairs.

---

Connie's back protested as she stepped through the front door, struggling to put one foot in front of the other. It was an equal struggle to keep holding the straining backpack slung over her shoulder, almost full to bursting with books she had picked up from the library. In hindsight she might have grabbed too many but they all had really good bits she thought she could use. So she had decided to come home and finish her note taking here. But now that she was here part of her didn't want to face that right now. As much as she wanted too, she just wanted to sit and rest. But she couldn't. She only had two weeks to her finals. And she couldn't afford to be sitting down, not when she had work to do. She could do that tomorrow.

But you won't will you. That thought slipped into her head almost unbidden, sounding almost alien, something that hadn't come from inside her. And she might have been able to ignore it if not for the nagging doubt that is was true. That tomorrow she would wake up and throw herself back into her work despite her protestations.

So caught up in these thoughts had she been, it took a second for the warm sweet smell that had been filling her nostrils to penetrate her brain. A smell that she hadn't smelt for years and instantly catapulted her back through those years.

'Connie, welcome home. Are you hungry? I think the cookies are about done. They smell good don't they?'

'Well, yes.' Connie tried to ignore the rumble in her stomach. 'But I'm not really hungry. And I've got a lot more work to do yet.'

'Sweetie, you've been on your feet all day.' Her mother chided firmly. 'You need some rest. I was thinking we could watch a movie, spend a little quality time together.'

'Mom, I really have too...'

'Now now, be a good girl and listen to your mother.' Connie's stomach nearly leapt into her throat. And not because of the sudden shift in her tone but because of the words too. Words that suddenly made her go all melty and squirmy inside. 'Take that stuff upstairs and I'll bring the cookies through. Go on. Scoot.'

For some reason, Connie's body obeyed instantly. And her mind wasn't more than a second behind her in that, even as her thoughts were racing, trying to make sense of what was going on around her. How long had she wanted this but thought those moments were gone for ever. It was almost like she knew. But she couldn't..could she? She had no answer to that question by the time she had dumped her bag and made it down the stairs, her legs shaking with each step even if she wasn't sure why. In equal parts dreading and hoping what she would see when she entered the lounge. For a moment it was that fear that took over and she hesitated outside, not sure if she should turn back or..or...she wasn't sure what.

Screwing up all her courage she pushed through the doorway before she could change her mind. If the smell had thrown her back years, what she saw dragged her right into her memories. What she saw before her could have been a snapshot of her childhood but for the fact that it was real. Everything was in perfect place from the pitcher of milk flanked by two glasses to the movie ready to start playing on the tv. And not just any movie. Her favourite movie. The one she and her mother had watched every weekend without fail. Thinking on it right now Connie couldn't remember why they stopped.

Then she couldn't think of anything else as she saw what was sitting on the couch, her tiny black eyes seeming to be looking right at her. 'Melody?' Connie whispered, her eyes blurring with tiny tears that welled bigger and bigger before she blinked them away, bringing the polar bear plushy that had once been her constant night time companion back into sharp focus. She had no idea she had kept her, that she was even here. In this house. She still had nights when she woke up expecting to be holding her only to find her arms cold and empty. She didn't know if knowing she had been here all along made it better or worse. Part of her had been afraid to ask, afraid to hear that she had been throw away or given to the goodwill or something.

Connie couldn't hold back any longer, striding forward quickly and reaching for her. Gently at first, as if she still wasn't sure she was real, like she was a illusion or bubble that would burst as soon as she touched her. But feeling her still solid under her paw she reached more firmly, quickly pulling her to her chest, burying her face in her still soft fur, feeling her eyes burning with fresh tears she didn't quite understand.

'That's my girl. I thought you would like Melody to keep you company.' Connie was glad of the low light around her, blinking away the tears as quickly as she could, hoping her mother hadn't noticed. She certainly didn't say anything. 'Now, these are still a bit hot. But they should be cool enough very soon.'

Connie almost pouted, not sure why but knowing it felt right. 'Okay momma.' She whispered softly.

The few hours that passed were the happiest the Connie could remember in a long time. Hours that passed in silence except for when they both sang along to the songs or when Connie sat whimpering into her mother's arm when the scary bit came on. And in between all of that they chowed down on sweet sticky cookies washed down with equally sweet milk. The funny thing was there was nothing affected about her feelings. It was like her mind had stepped out of her current life and back to a younger one. And right now she wouldn't have it any other way. Here there was no stress, no work, no worry. Nothing to do except enjoy the movie and this time. Even the fact she knew it would have to end couldn't intrude on her happiness right now. But all too soon the film came to an end and Connie felt that the time had come to ask the question in her head, one she needed to know the answer too.

'Mom, you know don't you?' Connie whispered, not sure if she was asking this in the right way. Or if she really wanted to know the answer. If she was wrong, if she had misread all of this.

'About you liking to be babied?' Her mother replied softly. 'I do, yes.'

'But..how did you..?' Connie stammered.

She laughed and it was the warmest, most soothing sound she could have heard right then. 'You really should be more carefully with what you leave running on your computer sweetie.'

'But..you know about..what I like?' Those words nearly caught in her throat.

'I can't say that. But I did some research of my own while you were out. I guess you would know better than me how many sites on this are on the web. And while I can't say I visited them all, some of them were very useful.'

'What..' Connie swallowed the lump that had risen in her throat. 'What did you find out?'

'That you want to be babied. And you do, don't you sweetie?'

Connie was blushing so hot just now she couldn't help squirming, her mind still trying to grasp that perfect answer. But there was one more question she just had to ask. 'And...you are okay with this?'

'If you are my sweet, then I am too.' She hugged her close and tight, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. 'And I know this might be new and strange to you, but I'm willing to help you figure it out.'

Connie's voice failed her. She had so much she wanted to say but she couldn't get the words out past the lump in her throat. Try as she might she just couldn't. Then the next thing she knew she was sobbing in her mother's arms, her head buried in her chest with Melody held tight between them. It was like all her pent up emotion and stress and worth of these past weeks was flowing out of her, leaving her empty and drained. She cried and cried with deep wracking sobs until she couldn't cry any more, until she had no tears left and her body felt heavy and tired and oh so sleepy. The last thing she felt before she slipped gently into that deep well was her mother's arms holding her, a promise to keep her safe.

---

The next morning Connie awoke not with a groan but a happy sigh, drifting slowly awake rather than dragged from sleep by the sudden worry about what time it was. Even half asleep something felt different. Good different but still different. It wasn't even that she wasn't alone, her arms still wrapped around Melody and another set of arms holding her. It wasn't even that she was in her mother's bed, in her arms, being cradled like a little child. Her sleep fogged mind was still trying to take all of this in as her paw brushed the solid plastic pressed to her lips, held fast by the squishy mass between her teeth. It wasn't until she heard the soft popping suck that came almost on instinct that she knew what it was. Where her mother had found a pacifier for her she had no idea. But she didn't want to think on that right now. Right now this moment was exactly where she wanted to be. Somewhere she felt just like the little baby girl she wanted to be and where no one could or would judge her on it, just shower her with unconditional love. Love she basked in as she snuggled closer to her mother, feeling the warmth of her fur through her night shirt, allowing herself one soft utterance that spoke volumes to what she felt.

'Love you momma.'