Guilt, Regret, and Recovery

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#17 of Only Crystal

The plague spread across Sinnoh and wiped out a majority of its population in less than a year. A teenager who has yet to contract the virus, along with his espeon, must survive in an increasingly dangerous region. With only his pokémon to keep him company, he soon can't help but feel differently about her.

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Existing; complete stories: 'Midnight.' (Male umbreon x fem trainer.) 'A Night She Couldn't Resist.' (Male midnight lycanroc x fem trainer.) 'Cassidy's Journey.' (Male braixen x fem trainer.) 'All They Knew.' (Male alolan ninetales x fem trainer.)

^ Excluding 'Midnight,' all three existing works take place in the same universe.


Jenna sat in a chair. She'd been taken into a small office with the head defender: 'Harrison' as displayed on his chest badge, and Jan. Both sat before her, rough in personality. They wore the base's standard outfits.

"You left the base around midnight last night, correct?" Harrison asked. He was relatively buff and clean-shaven with a short brown cut.

Jenna nodded and slouched in her chair. She wasn't in the mood for interrogation after leaving the hospital but knew it was necessary.

"Jan and I found you on the brink of death under a bike on Route 215. Hiko led us back to you. You're lucky to be alive, and we're glad you are." Harrison leaned in. "But you have some explaining to do before we can let you go, starting with the reason you went out two nights in a row at forbidden hours."

Jenna often closed her eyes, exhausted. "I... wanted to find medicine for Chris since we don't have any more here. I was through sitting around being useless while he suffered."

"The risk for reward is basically non-existent there. What you did wasn't helpful." Jan peered at her. "I should have stopped you myself the first time. You out of your mind, Jen? To go at all is insane, but alone is extreme and puts yourself and this entire base in danger. We send out organized teams for-"

Harrison put up a hand and cut the lecture short. "Jenna, do you know what happened to Amy?"

Her chest ached upon hearing her name. She knew that question was coming. "She didn't want me to go, but I went anyway." Jenna refrained from crying, though her eyes were glossy and voice shaky. "I went to Sunyshore with a rifle she gave me, where I found pills but got shot when two people saw me. It turns out--" she sniffled. "Amy had a feeling and had followed me. She saved my life, her and Hiko."

"So, where is she? Do we need to send some of ours to rescue her?" Harrison was prepared to use resources as Amy was a valuable and loyal addition. He eyed her, awaiting a response for several moments.

"...Dead." Jenna swallowed while some tears she couldn't help streamed down her cheeks. "A-And she wouldn't be if I hadn't left, or if I wasn't so keen on leaving with painkillers instead of my life."

Harrison nodded. He wouldn't scold or punish her. It was an unfortunate and sensitive situation. "That will be all for now. You should go rest. Last night was a long one. A duffle bag holding your clothes and equipment is out front."

Jenna stood, taking a shaky breath while walking to the door. "...And yes, I w-was out of my mind. I don't think I've been in it since Chris got sick." She exited and closed the door, walking down the hall and nearly dragging her steps.

Everything hurt. One of the doctors cleaned her wound and wrapped her hand with new gauze, instructing Jenna not to wet it for at least a full day. The back of her hand, where the bullet exited, was stitched, and there were still no meds on base, so she would have to hope the wound wouldn't get infected and go back for a follow-up in a couple of days.

When she made it outside, she saw Hiko sitting by a black bag and glanced at him. She couldn't bear it and fell to her knees, her eyes welling with tears while she whimpered. The sight of him broke her.

When Jenna looked back up, she saw him sitting before her. She sniffled and reached for the bag, pulling it to her with struggle and unzipping it. Jenna looked through her belongings before stopping and staring into the bag, then pulled out Amy's necklace and used the water in her pouch to rinse the dry blood away. She held it up to Hiko while her hands quivered.

He leaned forward to grant his consent and let Jenna drape it over his neck. It would be a lovely memory. He was grateful she could retrieve the necklace before they left Sunyshore.

"Hiko..." Jenna hugged his neck firmly, burying her face in his fur and sobbing. "I'm s-so fucking sorry." She'd left him without a trainer and lost a good friend due to her selfishness. How could she live here now? Jenna would never see Amy, not on or off shift, and she'd see Hiko alone.

She pulled away and let her arms fall. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her cheeks were stained from tears. "I'll never forgive myself... You shouldn't either."

Hiko gave her his eyes. It wasn't like him to show it, but he, too, was hurting. It was in a way he couldn't process. Amy would still be here without Jenna's rash decisions, but he understood Jenna's side as well and wouldn't direct his emotions toward her.

"Do you have a place to stay tonight?"

He nodded. Hiko would sleep at Amy's home. It was all he had left besides her necklace, and he wouldn't feel comfortable elsewhere.

"Okay... I'm gonna go to mine. If you need anything, you can come to me if you'd like." The least Jenna could do was offer Hiko her care, although that may be the last thing he wanted. She grabbed her key from her pouch then stood, zipping the bag closed and hanging it over her shoulder.

As she started walking, she heard steps behind her.

"Jenna?"

She stopped and turned around to a female a year younger than her with short black hair and blue eyes. That was Abby. Jenna hung out and talked with her often and considered her a close friend. Abby worked day shifts as a defender, so it was more common for Jenna to see her, but she hadn't recently due to her only going out at night.

"What happened to you?..." Abby scanned her. Jenna looked like a wreck. She'd never seen her in such an awful state, so it was deeply concerning.

"Could we talk another time?" Jenna couldn't. She just wanted to isolate herself.

"Sure..." Abby watched her walk away. She got the hint but wouldn't leave this alone for good.

Jenna's stroll home was tedious. She was stared at by most residents she crossed, a few she knew even asking about her condition, but Jenna didn't tell them much other than she'd be fine and wanted to rest.

She didn't truly know anyone, and the only reason people cared even slightly was because of whose sister she was. At least that's how Jenna perceived it, but it wasn't right to generalize. She didn't want to become bitter, but life had a habit of making that a challenge recently.


When she got to her door, she stood before it and sighed. Jenna wanted to be glad that she was back but didn't feel much except hatred for herself. The night could have gone differently or not happened at all, but she'd pushed and opposed any thoughts that told her to turn back.

Already, the moment Amy got shot, the revolting sounds she made while struggling to live during her last moments. It all played on a loop in her head, and Jenna couldn't stop it. She felt sick and chilled over. It was misery and nothing but.

Jenna unlocked and pushed the door open, met by Bizzy sitting near the couch with worry in his eyes upon seeing her.

He looked from her weak stance to her wrapped hand and bruised cheek. Bizzy took steps while looking up at her. What happened, and who did that to her? Jenna looked worse than he'd ever seen her.

She dropped the bag and walked to the couch, slumping onto it. She leaned back and closed her eyes. "I'm okay."

"Bu..." She didn't seem it. Her voice sounded broken. He climbed on the couch and stood beside her. Bizzy wasn't even aware she'd left last night.

"I just... I need to sit." Jenna wouldn't take the Anastin. She'd give it to the doctors soon. She could deal with the pain that plagued her, and fortunately, she mainly felt numb. Jenna pulled Bizzy onto her lap and embraced him. "I'm sorry."

He rested against her, his cheek on her chest. He knew something was very wrong, but the most important part was Jenna being alive. Bizzy didn't want her to leave ever again, and it hurt him to see her this way. She was always so kind and sweet to everyone. Jenna couldn't have done anything to deserve this.

He felt her arms gradually fall limp around him and looked up to see her eyes closed. Her face turned and was against the cushion. She'd fallen asleep, and Bizzy would stay with her until she woke up. He hugged her sides, rubbing her chest with his cheek.