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Christmas Eve

I gripped the steering wheel, and made a turn from the highway and started driving up the dirt road. Heading back to my two story house in the middle of the woods, after I was done grocery shopping from Wal-Mart. Christmas music blared loudly through the radio, 'Jingle Bell Rock' was being played now. I let out a sigh, trying to keep my car straight on the road. Trying to drive through some of the snow that's covering that road. It wasn't deep, but my tires sometimes have a hard time driving through the snow, I hate it. Makes me wish that I've had a new car, something with four wheel drive. Yep, that outa do the trick! But instead, I get stuck with this old piece of crap, since my old car's engine didn't start anymore. I let out a groan, when that memory went through my mind. I know I will get a new car! I will!

But thank god, I didn't have to drive for very long, because I can see my house not far up ahead. At least, it wasn't a far drive to it. I turned the radio off and now there was silence. I looked left and right as I've drove. Seeing the snow covered pine trees. They do look beautiful this time of year. I drove on the driveway near the house and parked it. Turning the engine off, took the key out of the ignition and got out of there, all the while, picking up the groceries I've bought before shutting the car door. The cold air of winter greeted me, with my shoes making each step on the loud crunching snow. I let out a whoosh of air, when I felt my body make a shiver. Darn, it's cold! From what the weather man said last night, today's temperature would be about 10 degrees. I know I sometimes like winter, but I don't like it when it's that cold! But luckily, it wasn't below freezing cold! Who would like below freezing cold? Little kids, probably.

I made it on the porch and opened the front door, making my way through the opening. I closed the door behind me, while the house inside was greeting me with warm air. I let out a sigh of relief and satisfaction, "Whew, that's better." Glad that I've left the heating system on in the house. I wasn't going to be gone from the house long anyways. I just needed to get a few things from the store and that was it.

I took my shoes off, shoving them aside with my foot, and went to the kitchen to put my food away. After putting everything away in the fridge, including the eggnog, I went back to the front door closet and took my coat off. Hanging it in there and shut the door, I walked away and let out a big stretch with my arms above my shoulders. I heard one of them pop and I shook my head a bit at myself, feeling a bit tired. I wanted to head upstairs and sleep, but first off, I need to check the answering machine. I'll be betting that mom, or dad, called me and left me a message about Christmas. Asking me if I can let them come over to my house to celebrate the holiday, and it's tomorrow. I let out a sigh. I don't talk to them much anymore. Not since...High school. Not since a death in the family. Not since the death of my...Best friend.

I made my way to the answering machine that's sitting on a desk close to the wall in the living room, seeing a red light blinking on it, meaning that someone called and left a message. I extended one finger on one hand and pressed the play button, hearing the female answering machine voice, "You have one new message."

That's when a familiar voice rang out through the speaker, "Hey David, it's mom. I know it's been a long time since we've last talked to each other. But anyways, I remember we haven't celebrated Christmas last year, and your father and I wondered if we could come over to your house tomorrow and celebrate with you. Look David...Can you please give me a call and we'll talk about it....I really miss talking to you, hun. Anyways, call me."

Then the machine beeped and the machine said, "You have no new messages."

I held a sad look on my face and turned my gaze away from the phone. Feeling guilty about her. Actually, I haven't celebrated Christmas with my parents since...She died. Even when she died while I was in high school, I didn't celebrate the holiday with them. Honestly, I hardly ever spoke to them at all, after she died. Hardly ever celebrated any holiday with them at all. I was just...Quiet, most of the time.

It's not that I don't love my parents, I do. It's just...They're not her. And I sometimes feel guilty for ditching them.

I trotted to the stairs, trying to ignore the guilty feelings in my heart. I took several steps upward and made my way in the hallway, when before I could enter my bedroom, I saw my new grandfather clock close to the wall, ticking loudly. I grinned at the big thing. I got that thing recently, about several months ago. It used to belong to grandma Harriet, but sadly, she died and I volunteered to keep it. This is the first year that I'm the owner of the thing.

I chuckled to myself. I can remember grandma telling me stories about the clock. According to her, from what the former owner of the clock said to her when grandma bought it, the clock is actually magical and she only found that out when she was about the same age as I am. That was years ago, way before I was born. See, from what she said, she said that this clock brings back the person that you care about the most from heaven, and will only talk to you in one night. And she said that the magic only works in December. Which she can never understand why, she never knew why that clock was magical, but she said that she never had a bad memory about it...When she had it every year. And from what she told me, her late husband, my grandfather, came back to her as a ghost after he died in a car accident while grandma was pregnant with mom, and he was practically real. Only about a few years after he died, grandma bought that clock and on one December night, she found him in the living room and she was real happy and shocked to see him. She said that despite he was a ghost, she can feel him, and she was kissing him.

I let out a pfft. I can remember those stories well, but I honestly think they're just stories. Nothing like that ever happens. Nobody from the dead will come back as a ghost. That just happens in the movies, but strangely, grandma insisted that the stories are real. And it happened to her, on every one December night.

I shook my head and chuckled again. Gee, grandma. You and your stories.

I walked past the ticking clock and finally went into my room, shutting the door behind me and began to take off my clothes, one at a time. Until I was in my underwear. I looked to my dresser and found a photo of me and my best friend.

Me and Holly, the lioness.

I picked up the photo and held it close to my face, while my eyes were locked onto her feline form. I looked real happy in the photo, sitting close to her, wrapping my arm around her in the hot summer day, while dad was holding the camera and took that picture with mom thinking that this was cute. I remember playing with Holly back then. I let out a pleasant sigh, remembering everything I did with her.

She was the best thing that's ever happened to me. I was glad that dad brought her to me...Years ago. I was about nine when we've met.

See, here's how the lioness, the exotic animal, started to live in my family. Well the thing is, dad had a job of rescuing animals from poaching in Africa. He'd traveled a lot there in his line of work. Dad found Holly all alone in the savannah, mewing and whimpering, while trying to find her momma. Dad never did find the cub's mother, so he took her in, brought her back to America, naming her Holly in the process. Dad explained to mom what happened and she didn't mind keeping her in America at all, she found Holly adorable. Really looked like a house kitten back then. I can remember, I was ecstatic to keep the cute creature in the house. I loved lions. Practically just them. I don't love tigers, or cougars, or leopards, or cheetahs, or panthers...Just lions. They seem more...Wonderful, in my eyes.

Course, I remember that mom thought that we couldn't keep Holly in the states, but the thing is, dad said that we don't need a license or anything like that in this state, so we can actually keep her. Just have to keep Holly out of trouble and all. And Holly was always on her best behavior. She was well fed, despite without living with her mother, and she was a very good playmate to me. Even when she wasn't a cub anymore and I was growing up being a teenager, she was still a playmate to me. I didn't care if I wasn't little anymore, I still played with her.

Holly was always like my best friend, she was always there for me. I really felt close to her too. I guess the reason why, is because dad with his job and all, hardly was there for me, and for mom being busy with her own things too, make it a good reason why I feel close to her. And when I feel sad, when I was bullied in school, Holly felt my pain and sadness and comforted me with her tongue. She practically figured I was sad. Holly was quite the comforter, and I couldn't trade anyone else to comfort me. I even talked to her about what happened to me, and I know that she probably didn't understand a word I said and wouldn't talk to me back, but I liked talking to her too, like she really was a person. I didn't have a lot of friends from school either. Just a few, but I don't hang with them much. They have their own lives, and don't want anything to do with me outside of school.

But...I was seventeen when she was...Gone. And that was five years ago. And how she died, it was all a damn hunter in the woods fault. See, it was on a January day, Holly was just wandering around in the woods and she actually saw a hunter and tried to go see him. But the hunter thought she was some sort of escaped animal from a zoo and killed her. That made me sad and furious, when she died. I actually wanted to kill that guy for murdering her.

That day when she was buried...I was in so much tears, I didn't feel anything else at all...Except I was thinking about Holly. She was my best friend, and she's gone. And since then...I hardly talked at all, just a few words, but that's it. So, I graduated from school, and still don't talk to anyone much. Not even mom and dad. Course, they do worry about me, but I keep telling them that I'm fine. But...Most of the time, I feel like I'm not.

I know that it has been five years ago since Holly died, but I couldn't get her out of my head for some reason. Every day, even in my dreams, I see her face. And I would hug her so tight in my dreams, feeling her fur, and her tongue running across my neck and face. I...I really miss her.

I turned my head from the photo and saw the snow covered trees outside. I let out a sigh filled with sorrow. She was a part of my family, and mostly my best friend and confidant, and she's gone. I know that she wouldn't live long like humans would, but I didn't want her to die yet. What happened to her, wasn't fair.

She was...My rock.

I closed my eyes as they were filled with tears. I let out a sob and placed the photo of us back on the dresser and took a deep breath. David, get a grip. You need to quit doing this to yourself. Things die, and things just happen.

But I can't move on from her. There isn't anyone like her. There probably wouldn't be another lioness like her. And I can still feel that sorrow in my heart. Five years...Five long years.

I heard the phone downstairs ringing and I looked at my door, listening to the rings. I'm sure that mom's calling me back. But...I don't want to talk to anyone right now. I don't feel like it, and I just need to sleep it off. I usually feel a little better when I'm sleeping.

I trotted to my bed, wiping my eyes with my arm, and flopped down on it, pulling the covers over me and letting out a groan. Feeling comfortable on the mattress.

David...One day, you will need to quit thinking about her. Holly wouldn't want you to do this to yourself.

Maybe I will one day, but...When will it happen?

I rolled in bed, looking through the window, thinking about Holly again. I let out a breath. My heart sinking. Holly...I hope that you're happy up in heaven. I hope you are. I turned away and laid on my side. Closing my eyes, trying to get myself to sleep. Just sleep it off, David. Just sleep it off.

*****

I snorted in my nap, and have woken up with a slight moan. I lifted my head slightly off the pillow, barely opening my eyes, since they're a little groggy. I got myself in a sitting position and stretched up my arms, yawning real loud. I shook my head, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. Gah, what a nap. What time is it? I looked at the window and saw that it's night now. The bright full moon shining through the night winter sky. I must've slept for a long time. I rubbed my throat in circles, I was feeling parched. Well, it's no wonder I haven't stayed asleep, I need a drink!

I pushed the covers away and got out of bed, deciding to put on my pajamas, and when I did, I walked out of my room to head downstairs.

I arrived in the kitchen moments later, now with a glass in my hand, having a long swig of water for my parched throat. I let out a satisfied sigh, as my throat began to feel better. Then I was remembering that I've dreamed in my nap. That was why I was sleeping for a long time. I was dreaming about Holly. I hung my head and with sorrow filled eyes looking down my feet. I slowly laid the glass down on the counter and just stood there. Holly...

I was dreaming that me and her reunited, and we were embracing tightly. The familiar feeling of her fur was still in my hands. Like that dream was real. I held up my hands, looking at my palms. Oh, Holly. Why am I missing you so much?

Because you cared about me, like I was caring about you, that's why.

I know that it's sad that you're gone, but even some people have to move on sooner or later. But I can't stop dreaming about you...I can't stop missing you.

Holly, you were the only REAL confidant that I've had. And...I wish that you didn't die. I wish that...I saved you.

If I wasn't at school that day, and if I've stayed home with you...You wouldn't have run into the woods and found that hunter.

I was clenching my fist hard, until it turned white. I should've stayed home! I yelled out loud, "I SHOULD'VE STAYED HOME!" I picked up the glass off the counter and threw it hard at a wall, shattering it into pieces. I was huffing in anger toward myself, until I began to calm down. I looked at the shards of glass on the hardwood kitchen floor and let out a breath. I better clean that up.

I went to the kitchen closet and picked up a broom and dust pan. Cleaning up my mess, a moment later and used the dust pan filled with sharp glass shards, and dropped them in the trash. All clean. I walked back to that closet, and laid the broom and dust pan in there. Alright, that's it for now. I'm going to head off to bed, since I'm not in the mood to do much else.

Then I remembered the phone ringing before I went to bed earlier. I better check the answering machine. I made my way to the answering machine in the other room and saw the red light blinking. There's a message left for me. I pressed the button and the female voice said to me, "You have one new message."

That's when mom's voice rang through the machine again, "David, it's your mom again....Where are you? You haven't called me back earlier and I'm...Getting a bit worried about you. Look David....I'm getting a feeling that you're not feeling alright. And...You know, I wish that you've talked to me like you used to. You haven't been that way since...Holly died." I shut my eyes tight at the name of my lioness, listening to mom's voice talking some more, "David, I don't know if that's really the reason why you don't talk much now, but I can't help you if you don't talk to me....I wish you did. David...Please talk to me. You know that I love you. And I feel like I want my son back....I'll let you go, and please just call me. I love you." Then the message ended and I was letting out a guilty sigh.

I want to call her back and say that I'm fine and I'm not depressed. Tell her another lie out of my mouth. But I didn't pick up the receiver. I just stared at it. You were right, mom. It was because of Holly, that I don't talk anymore. And...I'm trying to not forget about her. I'm trying to, but I can't. What can you and dad do? How can you help me forget her? That's why I haven't said a word about this. Because there's probably not an answer to this.

You guys brought me my best friend, and we were close afterward. I'm sorry, guys. I love you...But I miss her.

God, I hate myself when I'm distancing myself from them! Every year, I don't talk to them. Honestly, I've thought about going to a counselor to talk about it, but...I don't think the counselor would find a way to help me. I usually think to myself, I don't want help, I just want her back. So how would a counselor make me feel better? He can't bring Holly back from the dead anyways.

My chest expanded, and I was letting out my breath. Just go back to bed, David. And tomorrow, you can call mom and tell her you're fine. And perhaps, you can tell her that you can let her and dad come over for Christmas this year. But I won't guarantee it. I just want to be alone. I walked away from the phone and when I glanced out through the living room window, I thought I saw something move outside. A shadow moved fast across the snow. My eyes went wide, as I was seeing that it looked like...A different creature to me. It didn't look like a deer, it was shorter and it looked...Feline.

I was frowning. I better check it out. I paced to my shoes, put them on, and opened the front door. Letting in the cold air in the house. I walked outside on the porch, trying to find that creature. But I didn't see anything. I let out a hum in thought. What was that? Could it be...?

I shook my head and glared at myself. No, that's impossible. It wasn't Holly. You're missing her so much, now you're imagining her. She's not outside, it's just the night making you see things. Quit standing outside in the cold and get back in the warm house! I whirled around and went back in the house, shutting the door before anymore cold air came in. I took my shoes off and started to make my way to the stairs. Before I could take one step on them, a voice was behind me, "David."

I yelped and jumped a bit. I whirled around, thinking that an intruder is in my house, "Who's there?" I didn't see anyone at first, but when I looked down, my eyes went wide and I gasped.

There was a lioness in front of me!

I backed away from the beautiful, golden furred creature. Just in shock, "What? Where did-" That's when I began to realize that it wasn't just any lioness. But it was Holly. My best friend. She's right in front of me!

No way...I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming of this. I'm sleeping right now, and just dreaming away.

I asked out loud, feeling the hopefulness building in my heart, I didn't just accept this as my dream yet, and asked out loud, "Holly? Is that...You?"

When the lioness heard that name, she started to pad up to me and rubbing her cheek against my stomach, that was how Holly rubbed against me. It is her! It's Holly and she's back! But...How? She feels real! She can't be real, she's dead!

But as my eyes were filled with tears and they've streamed down my face, I didn't care if it was a dream, or if it was real anymore. I can feel her and she came back. A miracle came to me. I crouched down and hugged Holly so tightly, burying my face into her neck. Balling my eyes out, "Holly....I...I..." I let out a sniff and a sob, "I thought I would never see you again....I....Oh Holly, I've missed you so much!"

I was crying for a long time into her, she was giving me licks across the back of my neck and she was purring too. It is her. It really is her. I formed a smile across my lips. I can't believe that it's her. But how did-

That's when a thought popped up in my brain. The grandfather clock! This month is December, and she's the one that I've cared for the most, who died and came back as a ghost! And...It'll happen only for one night.

I tightened my hug on her. I don't care if it's one night. I can live with that. Mom and dad won't believe this. That grandma's stories are true. Grandma really did talk to grandpa after he died. And I didn't believe it. But...I do now.

I pulled myself away from Holly, looking deeply in her eyes. Finally having stopped myself from crying some more with a loud sniff of my nose. Holly gave me a lick across the cheek and I chuckled, "I missed you, girl." I was caressing her neck with smooth strokes, "I've missed you, so much."

But then an unexpected thing happened from her, "I've missed you too, David."

I gasped at this. She...Talked! Holly talked! I jerked my hand back and muttered out loud in surprise, "You...Talked."

Then she appeared to form a smile, "I do now, David."

So she was the voice that was behind me, saying my name. She can talk now. I formed a smile back and giggled, "Wow...You sound beautiful." And I'm right on that. Her voice sounds smooth, and soft.

Holly said in gratitude, "Thank you." Then she nuzzled me, letting off a purr, "It's been such a long time, isn't it David? A long time, since you've held me. I missed those days."

Honestly, I still can't believe that she's talking right back at me. Never expected that at all. But I would enjoy hearing her words out of her mouth any day. I nodded at her, "Me too, girl. Me too. And...You have no idea how sad I was, when you-"

She put her paw to my mouth and nodded, "I know. I've watched you for a long time. I...Wish I came back earlier. But now...The clock brought me here and here I am." She formed another smile now, and dropped her paw back to the floor, "Together again."

So she knows that the clock had something to do with this reunion. She's happy about this, as I am. I hugged her again and sighed in content, "God....Holly. I love you, so much."

She nuzzled me again, saying it right back, "I love you too." But then what she did next, made my face flush. Holly brought her paw to my chest, pushing me back a bit. I was giving her a confused face, wondering why'd she do that. But then without warning, she pinned me under her and smashed her muzzle against my mouth. My eyes went wide at this. What in the world?! She's kissing me! What's going on?!

I pushed Holly off of me in a flash and she was looking guilty now. I was just laying on the ground for a minute, looking at her, before I got on my feet. Feeling surprised and confused more than anything, 'Holly...Why did you do that?" I shook a finger at her, like I was chastising a child, "Bad girl, you shouldn't have done that."

Holly removed that guilty look off her face, and was letting out a laugh, "Oh, don't treat me like I'm a cub! I'm old enough now to have a mate!" Then she hung her head at the word mate, "And...I...." She glanced away.

I glared at her and demanded an answer, "Holly, what's going on? You never did this to me before, not once while you were still alive. Now...Why did you do that?"

Holly looked up at me and said with words that I didn't expect to hear from her. Not even when she can talk to me now, "I...I...I love you."

That's when my face drained color and backed away a step. The way she said it, I can tell she meant it the other way. She never meant it as my friend, "What? Holly-"

Before I could say another word, she padded up to me and began to nuzzle her face and rub her body against mine, "David, I'm sorry if I came on too strong. But...The truth was, I loved you before I died." She went on, when she was starting to circle around me, and I was following her every movement, "Well, I didn't know what that feeling was before. I did feel weird before and never knew what it meant. But...When I died, and when I've learned finally what that feeling inside me was up in heaven, I get it now. I know why I've missed you so much. Why I liked being with you...It's because I loved you."

I watched her stop in front of me and I said, "Really? You...Felt that way about me?" That's quite a shock. I knew that lions can't express feelings just like that. Animals don't even know what love really is. But...She knows now and...She loves me! She didn't know about it, but now years later, she does know and she's telling me about it!

No...This can't happen. This cannot happen. I like her, but....

Holly's voice interrupted my thoughts, "David, I really am sorry. I get it, you think it's abnormal. I know what that kind of thing does to everyone." She gazed down at her paws, "But we both know that I never had a mate. There weren't any other lions around when I was alive. And...You were always with me, and-"

I held up my hand and narrowed my eyes, "No. This can't happen. This is wrong."

Holly padded one step toward me, and I backed away one step myself, "But David! I love you!"

I shook my head, feeling sorry for her a little bit. Sorry for hurting her feelings, "Holly, I'm not a lion." I gestured up at the ceiling, but I was actually gesturing up to the sky, "I mean, you're living in heaven now, right? So, surely there are lions up there with you."

Holly admitted with a nod, "There are, but...You can guess why I don't want to be with any of them. I...Don't think I'm interested in any of them."

Oh...Man. While I was just staring at her face, a curious thought came to me, "Holly, I'm just wondering now....How did you learn how to kiss me? You know, like that?"

Holly looked away from me, she looked apprehensive about telling me. I pressed her with my voice raised a little bit, "Holly."

She looked back and answered, "Look, you might be surprised about this. But...It happened while you were at school. One day, while you and your mother were out doing your things, your dad was alone with me." I furrowed my brow and she went on, "Your dad, he....Wanted to try something with me. It was something I didn't do with anything before. It almost came as a surprise even to me! He brought me to his bedroom, urging me to jump on it and lie down on my back. I did what he asked, and then....He was on top of me and he kissed me."

My face went wide. What?! He did that?!

Holly went on with her story, "Your dad was naked, and then another unexpected thing happened to me. See, I felt him inside me. He was actually..." She was shy to say the last word, until she finished her sentence, "Mating me."

I exclaimed loudly, "He did what?!" Holy crap! I didn't think my dad was that kind of person. What got into him?

Holly waved her paw at me, shaking her head, "Don't think differently about your father. He told me why he did it, even though I can't talk back, he told me why. He was at a low point of his life, he and your mother were fighting around that time. He was just a bit depressed. And he...Wanted to feel better. He never did that to me again after that." She started to smile, "I wasn't hurt at all, actually. I wanted to tell him that. It felt good, honestly! I didn't love him, but it felt good." Then she glanced at her feet again, her smile went away, "That's how I knew how to kiss like a human. Because of him."

I was staring at her, still surprised by her confession. Dad....

Well I guess I can't blame dad for doing what he wanted to do with Holly. As shocking as it sounded, I don't blame him. But at least, he and mom are still together up to this day.

Holly began rubbing against me again, "David...I've felt this love for a long time. It was no wonder I liked you so much. I feel...So connected with you. Feel more connected than your mom and dad." She rubbed her head thoroughly in my chest, "I never had any real love before, but I can see that real love standing right in front of me. My best friend, and one of my masters." She gave me a long lick across my chest. I can feel her tongue through the fabric of my shirt! That sent a shiver up my spin when she did that. But I didn't say anything about it. Holly pulled her head away and deeply looked up at me, "David, I want you. I want to be with you fully. I want to be your mate."

Her asking me to do what dad did was one thing. But actually doing it, that's another. I can't do that to her. She's a lioness! Sure, she can express her feelings now, but she's still an animal. I shook my head, declining her offer, "Holly, no. I can't do this. I'm not my father. I mean, you're my best friend, and-"

Holly adamantly argued, "David, I don't want to take no as an answer. If you're worried that I'll get hurt, I won't. And if you're worried if anyone else will know, we're alone here! There's no one else here, and we have the whole night to ourselves. And I'm not only asking, I'm begging you to do this with me. I do love you, you know."

I threw up my hands, "But we're different species! And...I don't love you." That sad look on her eyes was making me feel bad for her internally, but I held my tough exterior, "Holly, there will be a different mate for you. Maybe he'll be up in heaven. You just haven't gave anyone else a try, because you were only thinking about me." I nodded after that, "I know why you love me, but...I don't feel the same way about you. I loved you as my best friend, nothing more. And-"

She shook her head, cutting my sentence off again, "David, I'm dead now. I don't care about the laws about two different species being together. Heh, I don't care if we're different. I love you, despite that. And remember, we're alone in the house. So what's there to worry about?" Then she cocked her head, "David, I want to ask you a question. Can I do that?"

I ruffled my hair with my hand and sighed, "What?"

"Since I've died, you were so unhappy, it made me feel terrible for you. You haven't even moved on from me. Never talked to your own family, distancing yourself from them. You can't even get me out of your own head. And...Why is that? Why do you think about me and miss me so much? Why can't you let me go?"

Her questions brought my own confusion back to me. And I answered, "That's...Because you're my best friend."

She asked, "But do you think there's more to it than that?" She held up her head and smiled, "I'm the only one who knows why, and you don't get it. You never understood it. And you keep asking yourself the same question, but never knowing the answer. Well, I do know, David."

I tilted my head and gaze at my lioness. She knows, why I can't move on from her? I dug deeper in my own thoughts, but I'm still confused. Holly saw my confusion and she admitted it, "You love me too, David. And you were confusing yourself for years. Thinking that it was friendship, but it wasn't. You were starting to love me, despite that I can't talk back. That I'm an animal. No matter what everyone else would think, you were loving me...More than as a friend."

My eyes widened. What? That's crazy talk! I don't love her. I never did.

Or...Did I? Is that why I didn't let her go? Is that why I couldn't get her out of my head? Why I keep dreaming about her, night after night? Because I love her?

I gripped my chest, trying to look deep into my heart again. But...I'm confused still. I groaned and murmured, "I don't know, Holly."

Holly let out a sigh, "Still doubting, huh?" She smiled again, "I know how to let your feelings come out in the open." She nuzzled in my stomach once more, "Come upstairs, with me." And with that, she started to pad up the stairs behind me, and I just stood there motionless for a second. Before I looked back and saw her waiting for me from the top. I know where this is going, and I'm not sure about this.

She's giving me a pleading look from up there, seeing my apprehension on my face. Seeing her give me that look, was making me feel sorry for her. But she's a lioness.

Well...She's not just any lioness, she's Holly. My best friend...My...I don't know anymore. But her look is making me hard to say no. I would do anything for her, but this is extreme!

But her words from before this moment came to me, and suddenly something inside me changed. Like there was some form of confidence that was built within me. Maybe...I should do this. She's right, we're alone here, and no one will never know.

David, she's a lion! Don't even think about it!

But that other feeling was making me move to the stairs otherwise, much to Holly's happiness, I was taking each step up to her. I was moving my hand along the banister and Holly trotted away from the last step, to head off into my room. I made it to the second floor a moment later, and followed her to my room. I closed my door and watched her form, making each seductive step on the floor and she looked over her shoulder at me, giggling. Then she tucked her tail to the side, showing me her sex. My eyes went wide at her behavior. Goodness, she never did this to me before!

I was looking at the folds of her sex, how they looked and all. I can't believe I'm looking at this. The lioness, turned back around and walked up slowly towards me. She chuckled deeply in her throat and her head got closer to my crotch, "You know...I wonder if your human cock is like your dad's. I think, I'm going to find out." She stuck her tongue out of her maw and licked through my pajama pants, towards my privates. I gasped, feeling her lick my member. She was doing it again and again, until it was getting stiff. She's making me hard from her licking!

Holly noticed it too, and she giggled, "Eager now? I don't think I'm wrong about what you feel towards me. I can feel it." She stood up on her hind feet and planted her front paws on both my shoulders, we were inches from each others faces now. She said in a lusty voice, "Even your eyes are showing it, are you still confused?"

I only blinked at her and she said, "Then I'll help you find out." She pressed her mouth against mine for a kiss. Managing to stick her tongue into my mouth, much to my surprise. My eyes widened, at her alien thing in me. When she lapped my tongue, it didn't feel bad now. Suddenly, I was closing my eyes, grasping her neck with both hands and tilting my head to kiss her back, pushing my tongue deep into her mouth as much as I could. She let squeak of excitement, when I was kissing her deeply. Finally, letting myself go.

What am I doing?! I'm French kissing an animal! What are you, a pervert?

But it just felt right, kissing her was feeling right. It didn't feel right before, but now it does. Is she right? Was I in love with her the whole time? Is this why it felt right? Is this what I've really wanted from her?

Well it didn't matter now. Because I was feeling each of my conflictions slip away, one by one. We were still kissing each other, lapping our tongues, sharing our saliva. Man, despite she's a ghost, she really feels real. Her fur feels real, even her breath feels real! Like she's really here.

Me and Holly kissed for several minutes, until we were running out of breath, and also Holly was getting tired of standing on her hind feet and dropped herself back to the floor. Holly was gasping for air, while she was muttering, "That...Felt....Wow, amazing!"

I was breathing deeply too, thinking the same thing. Holly nuzzled my legs and purred, "So...Are you ready to go far? I mean really far? Are you done being nervous about it?" She looked up and reassured, "I promise, if you do this, you won't hurt me. I'll love it. And you will too." She backed away from me and giggled, "Well first off, take off your PJ's. Can't mate me, if you're wearing them." She winked and laughed.

I chuckled weakly at her joke. Feeling somewhat nervous about this, but I was mostly feeling confident because of the kiss. So, without any further ado, I was taking off my shirt, my pajama pants came off next, leaving me now only my underwear. Holly was staring intently at me, waiting for the last part of clothing to come off. I nodded at her softly, and grabbed my undies with both hands, and began to pull them down. My cock wasn't stiff anymore, it has gone soft on me. When I kicked my underwear away, Holly was strolling up and giving my malehood another lick. Only without any fabric on, my cock began to feel some stimulation from her tongue. Gods! That tongue!

My cock was getting stiff again and she backed away a bit, staring in awe at it, "There, that's better." She grinned up at me, "Don't want anything going limp now." And she turned herself away, and sauntered away from me towards my bed. Her haunches swayed back and forth. I was staring at them. I know what she's doing, and she's doing a good job.

My last bit of conflicted feelings bugged at my brain again. David, you're acting like a pervert! She's an animal!

But then another part inside argued with the other part. But there's no one else here! Let him do what he feels like he wants to do! He doesn't want to hurt Holly, by denying her the night of her life!

And the other part was winning over the first part.

Holly jumped on my bed and laid down on her stomach. Watching me over her shoulder and tucking her tail to the side, "Come here, David. I want to share my love with you. Please, don't be shy. Don't keep me waiting. Just jump up here and mate me."

I took one tentative step at a time, looking at her tunnel entrance with each step I took. My eyes couldn't take off of it. To be truthful, I never had sex before, not once with anybody. But I won't let that stop me. When I was near the edge of the bed, I got on my hands and knees and crawled to her on it. My shaft was getting stiffer by the minute with my eyes firmly gazed on her lips. Holly murmured, "David, please." She flicked the tuft of her tail at my bare chest, "Please."

I didn't stare at it for too long, I was reaching out with two fingers, holding up her tail with my other hand, and stuck them through her entrance. Her walls shuddered at my invading fingers going in her. Her hind end squeezed them too. Holly drew back her head and moaned, "Mwaaahh. I feel them." Seeing that she's liking them, I stuck them a bit further in her. She let out a pleasured rumble in her throat and moaned for me, "David, please don't tease me." I can see her unsheathing her claws and gripping my bedsheets, her impatience was getting to her, "David, please mate me! I want you!"

Making her beg, was enough to get to me. And I'm not going to deny her. I pulled my fingers out of her, and I shifted my way closer behind her hindquarters. Her tail curled upward when pressed against my chest. I pushed it out of my way and started to grip one of her hips and gave it a squeeze. She let out a excited glee and pawed at my bed in excitement. I was giggling at her. Holly looked back again, waiting for me to enter her. I sighed and nodded, and with a hand gripping my shaft, I guided it to her sacred tunnel. With the tip of it touching her lips, I began to softly push into her.

Holly gritted her jaws, when she began to feel me going in her. My cock was feeling warm by her muscles and they started to clench around it. I stopped for a few minutes, not wanting to hurt Holly and let her get used to this. She let out a silent moan, and since I was feeling like I didn't want to keep her waiting anymore, I shoved it all the way up to the hilt with one hard push. Holly cried out and her walls tightened on me, more harder than before. I groaned when they were hurting me. I was letting out a breath, when her walls were starting to unclench on me, "Are you...Alright?"

Holly let out a comforting breath from her muzzle, "I'm fine. Now...Begin."

I nodded and started to pull out of her, until all of it was out. Then with my hands gripping both her flanks, I gave her a soft thrust. Her lips kissing my girth with that thrust. Holly let out a pleasured purr through her throat and begged, "Give me another one." And when I was pulling out, I gave her another thrust. She purred for me and I was doing it again. I moaned a bit, when my stimulation was getting to my malehood from her walls. She felt amazing. And warm too.

I grabbed handfuls of fur of her rump, sending a shiver through her body. I pushed back into her, giving it to her softly. With each pull and thrust, her tunnel was getting slicker. Getting wet from me and her own arousal. And Holly was starting to want more and on the bed, she pushed back into me, "David, harder. Mate me like a lion."

With a determined look, I bended my body over her a bit and gave my thrusts to her harder. Holly cried real loudly, "Oh yes!" She was shutting her eyes, relishing that I was giving it to her like she'd wanted me to. I was pounding in her repeatedly, her walls scraping my stiff hood. I was massaging her hip in circles with one hand, and gripped the other hip with my other hand. The bed was creaking loudly with each hard thrust. The head post was banging against the wall. Holly grunted in bliss and I groaned myself, having my way with my lioness.

I drove my hips back into her, again and again. Each shove sent pleasure throughout her body. Holly was loving this. I can imagine how she'd felt when my father was having sex with her, behind mom's back. I know that I'm not my father, but if he could do this, then why can't I? And boy, I was giving it to her, and she was loving my thrusts. She voiced her pleasure to me, after letting out a gasp, "David!" I saw her gripping my sheets with her claws, making a few holes in them. The bed squeaked some more, with each pound to her hips. I could see her panting, feeling hot from our first time at our union. Sweat was dripping off my forehead and down to my chest. My heart was pounding too, since I was going faster. With all the conflictions I already had, I'm sure they're long gone. I didn't care anymore.

I grunted only twice, while her tufted tail was over my shoulder. Holly's form was having another shiver of pleasure. I moaned and said to her, rubbing the side of her belly, "Holly, you feel incredible." And I wasn't kidding around, she really did. I stopped hilting in her, and started to climb on her back, my cock still in her. I resumed, on what she called our mating, with my stomach pressed to her back, and my arms wrapped around her neck. My legs were gripping her hips, as I was in a new position to mate her.

Holly screamed at me over her shoulder, "Give it to me!" Then when I giving her another deep thrust, it appeared to hit a very pleasured spot in her body, "Oh, right there! Hit it right there!" My shaft hit that spot again and she arched her back, "Ohhh!"

Then I could feel my pleasure was getting high and I was giving it to her more harder than before. I gripped her neck with my fingers, and I actually kissed the back of her neck. The bed beneath us was squeaking in full force, I was beginning to wonder if the thing was going to collapse out from under us. But we didn't care, we'll keep going if that happens. I was thrusting deep in her now, making her night a thing she wouldn't forget. She loved being ploughed by me. Then I could feel a pressure rising, meaning that my orgasm was about to come. I know I never had sex before, but I kinda had a feeling I was going to give her my seed.

Holly moaned in bliss again, "David, cum in me!" Then she let out a loud roar that hurt my ears, as her orgasm hit her hard. Her walls tightened around me and there were juices coming from her now. With my sweat and the adrenaline of our passionate love making was intense, I was not about to stop after her orgasm. I was finishing this. I was giving it to her with my erratic thrusts. Several moments later, she cried out. And then my peak reached and with one final thrust, I hilted in her. I grunted loudly, when I could feel my malehood twitching and shooting my life giving essence, deep within her walls, hard and fast. I was giving her small, weak thrusts, while I was at it. I was coating her walls with each load. Holly let out a moan of satisfaction and she laid her head down on the bed, and I collapsed on her back, my cock still shooting my load. I was feeling spent.

With my spurts slowed down to a trickle and our ecstasy worn out, we both began to giggle. I was rubbing my forehead against her neck, and petting her chest with my arm still around her. Holly was purring for me, letting me know that she was satisfied. I was too, I have to admit it.

Then a lot of realization hit me like a bullet. I just had sex with Holly. Then I felt a bit guilty now, seeing what I've just done. My conflictions after the height of my pleasure, started to come back. God...What have I done?

But then I realized something else...Something that Holly said to me. I think she's right. I think she was right all along. Her words, our kiss, our first time having sex, I think she was right about everything.

I...I did love her. And all of this, finally made me realize it.

My cock softened up and I pulled it out of her. Some of my load leaked out of her folds and onto my bed. I'll clean that up later. I just want to rest now. I got off her back and crawled up near the head post and laid down with my head on the pillow. Holly shifted her way to me, until she was laying right beside me in bed. Both of us are laying down, staring into each others eyes. She was smiling at me and I did a little bit.

Holly said when she reached forward with her head and gave my neck a long lick. Sending my body a shiver, "Thank you, David. I knew you could do it." She asked when she'd cuddled closer to me, one forepaw and one hind paw wrapped around me, "So...Do you have any regrets? I don't think you did."

I had a bit of a guilty look shone in my face and I glanced away from her eyes. Holly had a concerned look on her face and said in a apologetic tone, "I'm sorry, David. I am. I thought you were liking it. I mean, I know you didn't want to do it before, but....We did. You didn't want to, but we did anyways. Why, if you didn't want to?"

I let out a sigh and said, "I'm sorry, Holly. I did like it, and I'm not trying to feel guilty about this. At first...I wanted to do it, because you were giving me this look that made me feel bad. It would've made me feel terrible if I rejected you. Honestly, you were right, there was no one else here to know what we did, but..." I trailed off.

Holly asked with a sad tone, "You regret this?"

I sighed again, "You're still a lion and I'm a human. I still can't believe it happened. Like I said...I'm trying not to feel guilty, and make you feel hurt. But we're-"

Holly shook her head with a small smile, "I don't regret telling you how I feel. And I don't regret letting you mate me. I've loved you for years, and I'm happy that we did this." She gave my lips a small kiss and my cheek a lick, "I don't want you to feel terrible. But if you do, I understand."

For a minute, I was just staring at her eyes. She really means every word she'd said, and she doesn't regret it. You know what? I do know now that I was feeling the same way back at her, and I shouldn't regret it. I'm going to just stop bugging myself about it. I know she's a lion, but she's Holly. That's when I started to smile at her and wrap my arms around her in comfort, "Don't worry about it. I'm not going to regret it either. I'll be fine. I guess, the post sex anxiety's just getting to me a little bit. I mean, this is just my first time, and I guess I'm a bit worked up about it. It'll pass. And...I'll keep this secret. So no one else would know." With my own words, I was feeling a lot better about myself and this. No one would know, no one. And what we just did, I'm gonna be fine with it.

Holly beamed and her tongue hit my nose now, "That's good. I didn't want you to feel hurt, because of me."

I was staring into her eyes, not saying a word. Then she noticed I was staring and she asked with a giggle, "What?"

I answered, "To be honest...About everything you said to me. About me loving you. About why I didn't let you go. When we shared our kiss together. After I was having sex with you...I think you were right. About everything. I think I can understand now, why I couldn't forget you. Why I was feeling close to you. It's because...I loved you." Then a thought came to me and I let it out, "I think I know another reason why I know that I loved you."

"What's that?"

"Before you died, while I was in school...A girl tried to ask me out. But...I told her no. Because it didn't feel right to me. I think, I know why I didn't accept her offer before."

She asked, "Because of me?"

I nodded a bit at her and was stroking the side of her head, "I didn't know why back then. I probably did feel something else about you, and I was ignoring it. I've ignored that feeling for years. You were right, despite what you are, I was in love with you. Pretty much, more than just a friend. No wonder, I loved being this close to you. No wonder, I was becoming obsessed with you, after you were dead, why I was feeling sad so much about you."

Holly commented, "Thank you. I'm glad you've realized it. I was right all along." She winked and giggled.

That's when I had another guilty look in my eyes and she saw it, "What's wrong? You're not feeling regrets again, are you?"

I thought I was going to cry, when the thought came to me and I said, "Holly...I wish you weren't dead. I wish....That you were staying here for another day...Instead of one night. I feel this way about you, you're the only one that I've ever loved. And...The truth is...Holly...I wish I've saved you. I wish I was home when...It happened."

Holly said in a pity voice, "David...No."

I was about to sob, when I was breathing in a trembling way, "I know that I didn't kill you, but the truth is...The other reason why I couldn't let you go....I didn't save you. I was guilty when I wasn't there. I wish, I wasn't at school. I wish, I was with you. And now...Since I've realized I loved you...It hurts me more now. And...We can't stay together forever, because of me." My tears were falling down my face, "I'm sorry, Holly. I didn't save you. I know you didn't want to die either. I can tell."

Holly gave me a comforting lick on my forehead, "It wasn't your fault. You shouldn't blame yourself. You know, I don't hate you. I would never. Despite that I was dead, heaven is a wonderful place. And...You should be happy yourself."

I sniffed my nose, "But...We won't be together. Not after this night. You do know that once this night's over, you'll leave me." I grabbed her shoulder, "I don't want you to go, Holly. I don't. I don't want you to leave me again. I realized that I love you, and I don't want you to go."

Holly stared at me and said, "David...Other than I love you...I don't want you to feel sad anymore. Even when I'm dead, I want you to be happy. That's why I came back tonight, so you'll stop feeling sad. I know that you love me, but you can't keep beating yourself up over my death, and...You're right, we can't be together forever. Well...Not every day in a year. I'll be coming back to you in the next December anyways. I'll be back for you, in another beautiful night."

I stuttered, "But, Holly-"

"I know how you feel, but don't let my death stop you from feeling happy. I know we won't be together forever. I just wanted you to know that you loved me, because that's one of those things that was stopping you from feeling happy. Because you were confusing yourself. I wanted you to let those feelings out." She gave me a smile, "And you have family too, still. And you keep rejecting them, not saying a word to them. I know I'm important, but your family is too. You shouldn't do this to them, they love you too. At least, be with them. They both want their son back, and you know it. When I'm gone, you should always be happy, no matter what happens. And..." She glanced down and said, "I wouldn't mind that you have found a human mate of your own. Always do what makes you happy. Don't let me stop you. I know that I'll find someone else for me to be happy. Lets face it, we can't be together everyday."

I muttered, "I wish we did. I love you."

She planted a kiss to my lips, "I love you too. But we both need to let this go. We both wanted to feel this love for once in our lives, and it happened. And...Doesn't what we did and shared make you happy and feel better?"

I stared at her for a moment and I said, with a hint of a smile, "Now that you've mentioned it...I think after knowing I've loved you, after telling you that I was guilty for not saving you, after what we've did...I think I'm starting to feel better. About everything." Then I gave her a solemn look, "But I don't know how I'd feel if you're gone. There wouldn't be a human like you."

She reassured me, "I'm sure there is. There's always a mate for everyone. You just needed to have this night with me, so you'll stop doing this to yourself." She looked deeply in my eyes, "Promise me, David. Promise me, that no matter what happens, you'll go on with your life. Promise me that. For me, just live. Live your own life without me."

I was thinking everything over. And I know that she's right. I know that she's been dead for years, but she's right, I don't deserve to be unhappy, I should live. I still have mom and dad, and I've rejected them more than once. Not speaking a word to them much. And...I deserve to be happy.

I have to let her go. I have to. She wants me to. I know that I'll see her again, next year. I know I will. And one time every year of seeing her, would be enough for me. I'll do this for her.

I nodded a bit and gave her a big smile, "I promise."

Holly wrapped all her limbs around me tightly, "Oh, thank you!" I was shocked at her embrace, but I returned the embrace too. Then Holly said, "Just remember, David. No matter what happens, I'll always be with you. And I'll see you next year. Just be happy. Be with your family." Then her eyes widened a second, "Oh! I forgot to mention." She giggled and pulled away a bit in our embrace, looking at my face again, "Merry Christmas, David." Then we both shared a deep kiss together, muzzle and lips pressing into each other.

I pulled away from the kiss and breathed deeply, finally blurting out with a giggle, "Merry Christmas to you, Holly."

She let out a big yawn, her tongue curling. Her yawn was pretty infectious and I did too. She giggled and said, "Well...We're both tired. So...Goodnight."

I know that once I wake up, she'll be gone. But I won't let that stop me from fulfilling that promise. I'm doing this for her. I laid my head down on the pillow and slept close to her, "Goodnight." We both closed our eyes, holding each other tightly. She felt warm, like all the times we've slept close to each before she was dead.

Her promise ran through my mind. I'll keep that promise, Holly.

For you, I will.

*****

Christmas Day

I moaned a bit with my mouth closed. As the sunshine went through the window, hitting my face. I groggily opened my eyes and rose up from my pillow. I yawned through my fist, also rubbing my eyes with my other hand. Then my brain realized that it's morning and I shot my eyes wide open. Looking to my side...And saw that Holly's gone. The night ended and she'd went back to heaven. I ran my hand through the spot where she'd slept by me. God...What a night.

And it wasn't a dream, everything that'd happened was real. Every part of it. Holly was here. Here to help me through my sorrow. Help me through my guilt. Give me advice. Telling me to go on with my life and live. To tell me to stop distancing myself from my family and be with them. And...We both loved each other.

I let out a sigh and then I smiled to myself. I'll never forget you, Holly. Thank you for everything. And...Goodbye.

I'll keep your promise. I will. I'll never forget that promise.

I looked at myself and realized that I'm still naked from last night. I gave myself a chuckle, "Well, better get dressed, Christmas is here." I got up my bed and soon enough, I got dressed in fresh clothes. I let out a calm breath, when I was making my way out in the hallway. Seeing the grandfather clock still ticking away. I grinned at it. Grandma...I'm glad that you've bought it years ago. Your stories about your clock and about your husband returning as a ghost, are true. They were all true, and I didn't believe you.

But I do now. And it was thanks to that clock, that what happened last night was possible. Holly came back, thanks to it.

Thank you, grandma. Thank you. And Merry Christmas.

I've never felt better in my whole life. For the first time in five years, I'm better. I know that I'll love Holly, but I don't feel like I miss her anymore. I finally feel like I'm over it.

That's when I remember, that Holly brought up the fact that maybe I'll find a human girlfriend one day. One that'll be like her. I guess, time will tell, when I find that person. Time will tell. Maybe there will be that person out there. I'll find her...Someday.

Then a thought crossed my mind and I let out a gasp. Uh oh! Mom and dad are already awake now! Mom wondered if I was going to call and ask them if they wanted to come over here to spend Christmas with me!

It's not too late. I'm going to fulfill one part of my promise to Holly. Stop rejecting my family and be with them, while I have the chance. They love me, and I love them. I'm not going to distance myself from them ever again.

I walked in the hallway and down the stairs. Heading to the phone in the living room and I immediately picked up the receiver to dial mom's phone number. I put it near my ear and I can hear the phone ringing in the other end. That's when I heard mom answering it, "Hello?"

I smiled to myself and said to her, "Hey mom. Um...Are you and dad still free to spend Christmas with me?"