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One day in Waterfall, Gaster quit his job and decided to just leave the smartest child he could find do his dirty work for him; of course, that child was Alphys, prompting the passage of time to then literally walk right up to her and punch her in the face.

"ALPHYYYS' MODDDERRRN LIFFFE!" Nice Cream Guy sang as Alphys grew into a teenager and got pelted from every which way with spitballs and dodgeballs until she fainted head-over-heels onto the ground from exhaustion, then was unceremoniously scraped off of the ground and crammed full of both scientific AND anime knowledge (yes, not one but TWO massive books literally stuffed directly into her head) by the suddenly God-sized hands of Gaster.

"ALPHYYYS' MODDDERRRN LIFFFE!" Nice Cream Guy sang yet again as Undyne suddenly appeared out of nowhere and ate the leftover earwax from Alphys' traumatic book-cramming experience, prompting her to then scoop Alphys up into her arms and cuddle her lovingly as one of Gaster's god-hands appeared yet again and flicked the both of them halfway across the Underground into Hotland, where they hit the hot boiling ground so hard that they literally melted into puddles of liquid; luckily, Asgore was standing right next to them, so he was somehow able to literally just stretch them back up into their former solid selves.

"GAAAHHH!" the three of them screamed their brains out as they suddenly saw Gaster chasing after them, prompting them to immediately take off running as fast as they could!

"ALPHYYYS' MODDDERRRN LIFFFE!" Nice Cream Guy sang yet AGAIN as the four of them ran past enormous living statues of Omega Flowey, Endogeny, Lemon Bread, Reaper Bird, Snowdrake's Mother and Father, and Memoryhead...all with very angry looks in their eyes.

"FUUU-HU-HU-HU-HUUU! THAT WAS INSANE!" Undyne laughed as her and Alphys and Asgore ran into the front door of a giant enormous television with the words ALPHYS' MODERN LIFE displayed on it, which then toppled over and crushed Gaster into a slimy eldritch pancake.

Shortly afterward, the title card for the current week's episode, Camera Shy, was revealed; surely enough, it depicted Alphys cowering in a garbage can with cameras pointed directly at her from almost every single angle possible, with her clothes mockingly draped over the lid.

Once the opening credits had finally specified that Toby Fox had created the game and that Xander Martin had written the episode, the show promptly kicked off at high noon with...oh, dear God, what is that thing...Endogeny cheerfully and very, VERY intimately playing with Alphys (who, at least for the time being, had rather curiously stripped herself down to her bikini and underwear) on her barren and rocky front lawn in Hotland, his numerous slimy and amorphous leg appendages flagellating and slobbering all over the place in the process.

"Tee hee hee! Oh, stop it, you're making me BLUSH!" Alphys giggled and squeaked as Endogeny playfully licked all over her amazingly ticklish little feet as well as her huggably chubby torso, causing both his endearingly pudgy little tail and hers alike to wag adorably with happiness while the local cameramen (Undyne and Papyrus) tried desperately not to laugh.

"ARF! RUFF! WOOF!" Endogeny barked as the two of them rolled back and forth on the ground while cuddling each other in only the most sickeningly sweet, warm, cozy and endearing manner possible.

"I love you too, pal!" Alphys laughed as she and Endogeny stuck out their tongues and lovingly entangled them together in a wet sloppy french-kiss, exchanging horrific amounts of DNA between each other while Alphys' dainty little dinosaur toes curled themselves romantically with excitement.

"OHH, THAT WAS SO DELICIOUSLY SWEET OF YOU!" Alphys threw her head back, blushed intensely and moaned at the top of her lungs in arousal, licking her lips and drooling absentmindedly in sheer dumbfounded sexual pleasure as Endogeny's thick, gooey mess of totally-not-seminal slobber dripped in copious abundance from her outstretched tongue.

"HUH?!" Alphys gasped in surprise as she swung her head around to the back of her and saw Undyne and Papyrus standing right behind her, with cameras in hand as well as jaws hung firmly open in disbelief.

"Um...ehehe...I can...um...I c-can explain!" Alphys stammered embarrassedly, twiddling her fingers together and sweating anxiously while the two of them stared at her in utter confusion, both wondering why they were so disturbingly turned on by...whatever had just happened.

ABOUT A MINUTE OR TWO OF EXPLAINING LATER, BACK IN ALPHYS' LAB...

"My god, Alphys, you really ARE screwed-up in the head, aren't you?!" Undyne gasped in shock, covering her mouth with her hands in second-hand embarrassment and trying not to puke from how incredibly disgusting the mental images that Alphys had just left in her head were.

"Well, yeah, now that you mention it, I guess I kind of really am..." Alphys sobbed as she curled up into a ball and wept miserably on her revolving office chair, pouting in self-indulgent shame.

"Oh, for the love of Christ, Alphys, MAN THE HELL UP!" Undyne yelled at Alphys, grabbing the revolving portion of her chair and spinning it so hard that it literally flew right off of its hinges and sent Alphys careening directly into the nearest wall, conveniently flattening her into the exact shape of an accordion...which, coincidentally enough, was also Papyrus' favorite instrument!

"Oh, UN-DYNE?" Papyrus winked teasingly at Undyne, with a profoundly mischievous smirk on his bony, scrawny face. "Are you thinking what I'M thinking?"

"OH, HELL YES!" Undyne laughed uproariously as Papyrus handed over the camera to her and then headed over to Alphys' ever-so-recent crash site, picked her up, and gently blew her off.

"PAPYRUS, YOU LITERALLY HAD ONE JOB! ONE FREAKING JOB AND YOU'VE ALREADY BLOWN IT SO GODDAMNED HARD THAT- you know what, forget it, I've said way too much already!" Undyne groaned, facepalming herself in shame.

"Alright, so...umm...how exactly am I supposed to get all of this pesky dust off of her, then? Tell me, Undyne, am I supposed to blow it off or-

"SUCCULENT AND OSTENTATIOUSLY TEMPTING EVERMORE IS THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT OF CARNAL KNOWLEDGE TO THOSE OF US WHO HAVE NEVER QUITE EXPERIENCED SUCH AN ENIGMATICALLY AESTHETICALLY PLEASING INTELLECTUAL ACTIVITY FOR THEMSELVES." Undyne monologued robotically, slapping her hand over Papyrus' mouth before he could finish his sentence and probably embarrass her even further as a result.

"Very well then..." Papyrus shrugged, rolling his eyes in a profoundly googly fashion as he stretched Alphys out and then squeezed her tightly (and rather painfully, of course), causing her to produce a very distinctly accordion-esque noise from her throat as her eyes bugged out violently. "I suppose the great Papyrus will have to perform our obligatory musical number!"

"Let me guess, it's at least something like your freaking MILLIONTH lyrical arrangement of Bonetrousle so far?" Undyne sighed, grabbing a stool from the nearby storage closet, setting the camera on top of it to face Papyrus' performance and then heading back into the closet to grab a sombrero, maracas, a ridiculously fake mustache and a HELL YES MEXICANS T-shirt.

"You betcha, it is! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" Papyrus laughed heartily as Undyne donned the fabled Mexican disguise, prompting the two of them to immediately begin playing their instruments while the background drumbeat somehow magically materialized out of thin air.

"Today we learned that Alphys is nowhere near as cute or as friendly as she wants you to think!" Papyrus sang while the poor lizard prayed to God for her current predicament to end.

"Last time we went to Taco Bell, she ate all the spicy burritos and threw up in the sink!" Undyne sang, already beginning to feel the stereotypes crawling on her back.

"Her only true friends are her own horrifying eldritch abominations of her own make!" Papyrus sang while the Amalgamates downstairs literally danced their heads off to his and Undyne's performance.

"And if she isn't fricking annoying, then I guess that my outfit isn't chintzy and fake!" Undyne sang as she twirled and spun around aimlessly, shaking her maracas all over the place wildly.

"Contrary to popular belief, she is the most underrated of the characters!" Papyrus surprisingly complimented Alphys, inciting little more than a self-contained eyeroll from her in response.

"Despite the fact that her major twist is every bit as predictable as saucy turds!" Undyne sang, suddenly becoming acutely self-aware of Alphys' agonizing pain and hating herself deeply for it as a result.

"At least she isn't built around a single measly trope and has more than just one dimension!" Papyrus laughed heartily, glaring somewhat angrily and rather disappointedly at Undyne.

"At any rate, it still doesn't even come anywhere near making up for all of her sin!" Undyne and Papyrus sang together in a duet, posing flamboyantly for the spotlight as their show abruptly ended.

"So, what happens next?" Papyrus asked Undyne, returning all of the stage props to their rightful, proper places while Undyne put her mouth directly over Alphys' and blew her full of air again, effectively reinflating her back into her normal state.

"Oh, I'll TELL you what happens next!" Undyne laughed, hoisting Alphys onto her shoulders for an ever-so-adorable piggyback ride while Papyrus eagerly filmed the event on video camera.

"WHAT?" Alphys asked meekly, shivering and sweating with dreadful anxiety and trepidation as Undyne carried the poor girl outside onto the front lawn.

"LET'S GO PRACTICE THE FINE ART OF COMPILING TOGETHER AN INCREDIBLY EMBARRASSING SERIES OF VIDEOS FOR ALPHYS' PARENTS, STARTING WITH THE ONE WE JUST FILMED." Undyne and Papyrus cackled ominously as they made their way up the Hotland elevator system into New Home, where the adorably fluffy goat hierarchy that was the Dreemurr family resided.