I See Alphys, I See Francis (Alphys X Francis): Part 2
#2 of I See Alphys I See Francis
Ah, yes, the classic Alphys X Francis (Alphrancis) joke shipping...I never expected it to catch on quite to this degree, but now...well, here we are, and I honestly couldn't be happier about it even if I tried. All I can really say about this utterly batshit-insane work of art of a fanfic without spoiling anything about it is that if you want to see Alphys and Francis full-on fucking each other, this is your best (and probably only) bet. Oh, and did I mention it's over 35,000 words long?
ISAISF 6
"Alright, so let's see here...where should I start?" Burgerpants thought to himself intriguedly as he gazed in awe upon Francis' incredibly massive (yet also insanely f%#&ing stupid and dull-witted) brain and eagerly climbed his way up the stem and cerebral cortex until he finally reached the very top of the big old knowledge-sponge, admiring the wonderful anatomical view all around him and immediately letting loose a good solid chuckle upon noticing the fact that even Francis' freaking EYESOCKETS were somehow literally shaped like a pair of nerdy eyeglasses!
Meanwhile on the inside of Francis' brain, the totally-not-completely-obvious mystery person who just so happened to be controlling it at the moment shrugged his shoulders, crossed his arms over his chest, crossed his bony legs atop the dashboard of Francis' central control supercomputer and was just about to finally fall asleep...
when all of a sudden outside, almost completely out of nowhere, Mettaton FINALLY arrived onstage (in his freaking BOX form of all things) and reluctantly stood right next to his new weeaboo lizard guest star Alphys...er, I mean, Francis, shocked at what he saw remaining of Alphys' and Francis' former dinner table as his typical insanely loving and rabidly loyal swarm of fans came pouring excitedly into the room, blissfully unaware of what was really going on inside Francis' body at the moment.
"Oh my bejeezus, who on this dear and beloved Earth would even DARE to mar the absolutely stunningly beauty and handsomely gorgeous metallic grandeur of my absolutely wonderful face in such a profoundly cockamamie and asinine fashion as THIS?! For shame, I say, for SHAME!" Mettaton posed his arms fabulously, pointed at the broken table (which, just like all of the other ones, was of course shaped like BOX Mettaton's face) and yelled furiously with the true egomaniacal passion of...well, a celebrity-douchebag robot version of David Bowie, how's that for description?
"However, I digress; contrary to popular belief on your parts, there is currently absolutely NO NEED for me to be NEEDLESSLY crying over spilt milk and redundant statements right now, for as you can see, I have a rather quite...INTERESTING new boyfriend to attend to!" Mettaton explained teasingly, blushing and giggling embarrassedly at the boyfriend part while at least half of the entire audience jokingly yelled out the words "HA! GAAAYYY!" in response.
"BOO!" the audience booed disgustedly on Francis' behalf, throwing a multitude of Glamburgers and rotten tomatoes all over him while he seemingly purposefully walked right into every single one, causing the entire audience to scratch their heads audibly in confusion.
"NOW, now, COME ON, guys; at least he's handling his mistake like a mature and respectable ADULT! I mean, honestly now; even if the person we're talking about is basically just Alphys with more or less everything actually good and redeemable about her mercilessly stripped away, the fact that he's been on his best behavior still at least counts for SOMETHING, right? Or DOES it?" Mettaton pretentiously waxed philosophical to his audience, turning his back on Francis and giving Sans ample time to mind-control him into sneaking up behind Mettaton and flipping his transformation switch.
"OH MY GOD. DID YOU. JUST FLIP. MY SWITCH." Mettaton gasped in utter shock and amazement as he clutched his head and began shaking violently, before finally exploding in a brilliant flash of light and completing his METTA-morphosis into the single most handsome robotic man in the galaxy!
"Umm...M-Mettaton? Are y-you okay?!" Francis gasped and stammered in utter shock and terror, worried that he had accidentally messed something up really badly and ended up killing the poor robotic superstar in the process as literally every light in the room suddenly went out.
"OHHHHHHHH, YESSSSSSSS..." Mettaton moaned orgasmically(?) as the stage spotlights suddenly came flaring on, revealing his unsettlingly gorgeous humanoid EX form that literally looked like a genetic robot fusion of Michael Jackson and David Bowie while Burgerpants and Sans alike both gawked in absolute amazement at the wonderful celebrity view through Francis' eyesockets.
"Um...so...do we finally get to DANCE yet?" Francis asked Mettaton slightly irritatedly, groaning and tapping his foot on the ground impatiently while the audience agreeingly did the very same.
"NOPE! Not so fast, my already-dearly-beloved darling!" Mettaton laughed teasingly at Francis, literally pulling a clipboard and pencil right out of his sexy ass (compartment) and handing them politely to him.
"Firstly of all, I'm afraid you're definitely going to have to at least INTRODUCE yourself!" Mettaton smirked inquisitively at Francis, stroking his lovely, flowing, glittery, sparkling, ridiculously effeminate black hair with his fingers and sticking his tongue out at the poor result of a horrifically failed cloning experiment on even poorer little Alphys in trademark Metta-fashion.
"Oh dear god, all these freaking questions...I CAN'T EVEN LOOK, I'M TOO SCARED!" Francis whined like a baby, curling up into a ball on the floor and childishly sucking his thumb and trembling with utterly needless stage fright like a total wuss while Sans, Burgerpants and Mettaton groaned and facepalmed themselves, blushing deeply with second-hand embarrassment.
"Hmph...looks like I really am going to have to quite literally FILL IN for him after all, am I right?" Sans shrugged his shoulders, turned toward the readers and laughed with a sly wink as he forcefully mind-controlled Francis into filling in his identity sheet, since the fat scaly f%#& was apparently too much of an immature, lazy prick to actually man up and do so of his own accord.
ABOUT THIRTY SECONDS LATER...
"HERE you go, kawaii desu KUUUN!" Francis crooned in an obnoxiously nasally and high-pitched falsetto (seriously, it was almost hard to tell how much of what he was doing was actually his fault and how much of it was Sans') as he handed the identity sheet back to Mettaton with his name, his age, his experience level, his birthdate and birthplace, his (lack of an) occupation, his Social Security number, his current place of residence, and a big drooling smile.
"Hmm...so, according to this sheet, I'm apparently supposed to believe that YOU grew up as one of the most handsome and popular kids in your entire school? Ha, FAT chance!" Mettaton laughed snidely at Francis, smacking him across the face with his clipboard as punishment for lying.
"Well, actually, I was technically homeschooled my entire life, so-"
"Oh, well in THAT case, YOU'RE HIRED!" Mettaton laughed merrily, patting Francis on the back and clearing his throat as he began (one of) his (many) obligatory dramatic and ominous monologue(s) about himself while everyone around him began booing angrily in response.
"Now, you surely know how much I LOVE to be fashionably late, but this right is something else entirely; something much more...FABULOUS!" Mettaton took Francis by the hands and whispered handsomely to him, glaring deeply and teasingly into his bespectacled eyes.
"If you flipped my switch...why, that can only mean one thing! You're DESPERATE for the premiere of my new BODY, aren't you? Hmph...how RUDE!" Mettaton snickered with a devious smirk; meanwhile, deep inside poor Francis' violently growling and aching stomach, Lemon Bread grabbed Alphys by the back, wrapped her arms around her in a mockingly hugging fashion and began thrusting her melting, determination-oozing penis into the poor lass' vagina while Snowdrake's Mother (well, her chest-babies, that is) sucked her milky lizard teats lovingly.
"Well, if that's you want, then I certainly won't hesitate to make your first living moments with me...ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!" Mettaton laughed, grabbing Francis by the arm and dragging him behind the back stage curtain into the backstage room where all of the makeup, costumes and props were located; meanwhile, Alphys and Reaper Bird were busy giving each other footjobs.
ONE MINUTE LATER...
"My, my, look at you, you irresistibly handsome and delightful BEAUTY, you!" Mettaton laughed sarcastically at Francis' expense (after all, Francis was now disturbingly wearing diamond and pearl earrings and bracelets, gold and silver finger and toe rings with ruby, sapphire and emerald jewels embedded into them, red and blue lipstick, black and white fingernail and toenail polish, a blondish-yellow women's wig, and a platinum-crystal glitter dress) as the two of them hastily stumbled back out onto the stage while Endogeny was busy licking Alphys' naked body with head to toe to boobs to butt to pussy with his dripping, slimy tongue.
"Indeed, I AM THE GREAT CROSSDRESSED ASSHOLIO! I need OREOS for my MOUTH-hole!" Francis announced furiously to everyone in the room as he pulled the back of his dress collar over his head, bent his arms at right angles and put his hands up on either side of his head with the palms facing out in an incredibly stupid pose, causing the entire audience to almost roll on the floor laughing their ever-loving asses off while Memoryhead lovingly raped Alphys with his tentacles.
"And on that amazingly hilarious note, without further ado, let's finally get this delightful show on the ROAD, shall we?" Mettaton chuckled, taking Francis by the hand and eagerly waiting for the wildly cheering crowd to finally settle down so that he could begin his show in peace.
"Readers, I apologize DEARLY in advance for you having to see this, but sometimes a man's just gotta do what a man's gotta DO, you know what I'm saying?!" Burgerpants awoke from his slumber atop Francis' massively soft and spongy brain and blushed humiliatedly as he eagerly threw his pants/underwear right off and reluctantly inserted his rapidly hardening and stiffening cat penis into the vast network of folds and wrinkles in the poor lizard's central nervous tissue.
"Oh, my wonderful darling...sir, do you mind if I call you Alphys?" Mettaton asked Francis teasingly, grabbing him by the tail and ankles and fervently, erotically licking the soft, scaly soles of his feet while the obligatory sexy tango music began blaring loudly in the background.
"Oh, not even in the SLIGHTEST, madam!" Francis giggled and blushed as he twirled around playfully and handsomely with Mettaton, bent him over backwards and french-kissed him wetly, drippingly and lovingly.
"WELL, then...Alphys, I must say, you are the absolute ugliest yet simultaneously HOTTEST freaking thing that I think I've ever seen! Boy, you'd better believe that this isn't a family show anymore; it's an all-you-can-eat SMUT show!" Mettaton laughed excitedly as he wrapped his arms lovingly around Francis' big chubby body and gave him an even sloppier french kiss.
"Oh, Mettaton, you just make my TAIL curl with pleasure!" Francis moaned with arousal, drooling at the mouth rabidly and excitedly as he threw his dress right off while Mettaton seductively pulled his high-heeled boots off, rendering both of them completely naked as the audience cheered loudly and nosebled in unanimous approval, bewilderment and amazement.
"Damnit, this was supposed to be a DANCE show, but you just turned it into...whatever the hell THIS is supposed to be! You cheeky freaking BOY, you!" Mettaton giggled and blushed embarrassedly as he and Francis sat down across from each other and began giving each other simultaneous footjobs while lovingly stroking each other's hair with their fingers.
"Well, it's still at least better than NOTHING, am I right? Especially since I'm finally, at long last, getting to f%#& a freaking AUTOBOT!" Francis moaned and blushed humiliatedly, his eyes swirling with delight as Mettaton extended and bent his neck downward and began sucking the scrumptiously sweat milk from his luscious lizard man-teats while Francis began violently ramming his scaly, rock-hard lizard erection into Mettaton's cavernously, voraciously gaping mangina; all the while, deep inside Francis' stomach, Alphys was busy stroking Endogeny's innumerable dick-legs with literally every part of her body possible while all of the other Amalgamates joined in the act as well, causing the poor jellyfish-dog to howl and moan loudly with pleasure!
"Wow, what the hell was THAT noise?" Mettaton asked Francis jokingly as he suddenly grabbed the fat, crossdressed f%#& by the legs and flipped him upside down, causing the lower end of his skirt to fall down and reveal the entirety of his lovely legs, crotch and ass as he warmly, passionately sucked his scaly, throbbing cock and lovingly licked the leftover cum residue from the previous orgasm right off of it while the Amalgamates dipped and rolled Alphys in the resulting massive pool of drool-cum from Endogeny's orgasm like a chubby little french fry and then ecstatically lick it right off of her beaten, battered, chewed-up, mentally tormented, naked body.
"Oh, don't worry about it, it's just my stomach acting up again because of how DEATHLY hungry I am right now!" Francis laughed with ticklish delight, squirting out yet another massive loud of cum right into Mettaton's equally warm, gooey, saliva-coated mouth while Lemon Bread scooped the heavily injured and agonizingly exhausted Alphys right up into her slimy, Determination-dripping arms and tossed her right into her disproportionately gargantuan mouth.
"D-DO YOU REALLY...H-HATE ME...T-THIS...M-M-MUCH?!" Alphys moaned and whimpered in dreadful agony as Lemon Bread chewed her up like bubblegum (AGAIN, might I add) between her massive, towering rows of black, moldy, slime-oozing teeth and ejaculated her disgustingly filthy and rotten plaque-juice all over the poor girl's body (again, FREAKING AGAIN) through the tips of her rancid, festering slime-teeth, (happily) accidentally swallowing her this time!
"Whoops, looks like I accidentally swallowed the filthy lying RAT this time!" Lemon Bread laughed and clutched her perpetually melting and oozing belly with amusement while Alphys tumbled painfully down the dimensional rift in Lemon Bread's esophagus and landed smack-dab in the middle of her throbbing, pulsating stomach, essentially forming vore inside of vore!
"WELCOME TO MY SPECIAL FREAKING HELL, EVERYONE! DOESN'T IT JUST LOOK LIKE SO MUCH GODDAMNED FUN?!" Alphys laughed maniacally at the readers, twitching her eyelids wildly, clutching her head, crying and screaming in terror, and writhing dementedly on the gooey, fleshy floor of Lemon Bread's stomach while a multitude of digestive tentacles extended out from the horrifyingly grotesque beast's digestive membrane, wrapped themselves tightly around her wrists and ankles, and began brutally raping her every which way while Lemon let out a long, disgustingly loud burp, patted her belly and triumphantly struck a Starman pose...and then, of course, began furiously stroking her ragingly erect dick to Alphys' dreadful pain and suffering, just to add extra insult to injury on top of what was clearly already there; meanwhile, all four of the other Amalgamates also went into Lemon Bread's mouth and entered her stomach so that they could brutally, violently tentacle-rape poor Alphys TOO.
"AH...DELIGHTFUL MUSIC TO MY EARS!" Lemon Bread closed her eyes, visualized the utterly horrific things that were currently happening to Alphys inside her stomach, and moaned with pleasure as the sounds of Alphys loudly screaming and moaning and crying in devastated, tortured, humiliated, suicidal despair suddenly became audible to her through their sheer volume alone.
"OHH, Mettaton...how I LOVE to lick your CREAMY center..." Francis moaned ecstatically, drooling at the mouth by the gallons as he slovenly kneeled down onto his scrawny little knees and began sucking Mettaton's MTT-brand Mettadick while the robot threw his head back, blushed and moaned intensely with delight, stroking and patting Francis on the head like a puppy; meanwhile, deep inside Francis' head, there Burgerpants was, lying face-down completely naked and thrusting his penis into the poor weeb lizard's brain with all of his might.
"WARNING: BIOLOGICAL ORGANISM DETECTED INSERTING SEXUAL ORGANS INTO MASTER'S CENTRAL NERVOUS NETWORK AND RAPIDLY APPROACHING THE POINT OF CLIMAX; EXTERMINATE AND/OR EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY!" Francis' central control supercomputer urgently warned Sans, somehow having taken THAT long to notice.
"Welp, guess my work is DUMB here!" Sans chuckled, shrugging and sighing and shaking his head in wonderment of "WHO THE F%#& DOES THAT" as he used his magic powers to teleport himself out of there and over to Toriel's place in the Ruins...and grow himself back to normal size, of course.
"Alright...OOOOH...I just gotta...OHHHH...time it just...AHHHH...RIGGGHHHTTT..." Burgerpants blushed, panted, and moaned intensely with arousal, breathing heavily and closely observing Mettaton's ridiculously effeminate and flamboyant facial and bodily expressions through Francis' eyesockets to determine the precise point when his robo-gasm would most likely occur; yes, believe it or not, he actually WAS, in fact, just the type to pay THAT much scrutinously detailed attention to sh%# like that...and the fact that he was actually quite used to getting constantly raped almost every day by Mettaton in the MTT Resort janitor's closet(s) certainly didn't help matters either.
"UGGHHH...this is so...OHHHH...so WRONG and yet SO...OHHHHHHHHH...SO RIEYLTIEILURZWARNITURIGGGHHHTTT!" Burgerpants shrieked orgasmically, his skeleton cartoonishly flashing in and out of his body as his dick somehow inexplicably sprayed out half a goddamned GALLON of love-juice into the wrinkly, veiny catacombs of Francis' neural network (at the exact same time that Mettaton finally cummed into Francis' disgusting mouth, of course), electrocuting him to a degree that only a true Looney Toons character could ever even hope to survive!
"GYAAAAAH!" Francis and Mettaton also shrieked loudly in pain as the electrical current from Burgerpants' orgasm shocked them nearly to death as well, causing the former to pass out unconscious from sensory overload and the latter to suffer a violent explosion of the penis!
"OH MY GOD, ALPHYS, MY LOVE, ARE YOU OKAY?!" Mettaton screamed and cried in terror as he ran over to where Francis' body was unconsciously sprawled out onto the floor and shaking him to try and get him to wake up. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE DON'T DIE ON ME!"
"Say, what's that noise that sounds like rushing water...OH MY GOD, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Lemon Bread screamed in horror as a colossal rushing wave of Mettaton's cum came pouring through Francis' stomach and washed both her and her fellow Amalgamate friends right down into his intestines.
"OH SWEET LORD, NOT THE STUPID INTESTINAL WATERSLIDE CLICHÉ, IT BURRRNS!" Lemon Bread and her fellow Amalgamates screamed in unison as the unbelievably sexy and powerful current washed them all the way through Francis' upper and lower intestines as if they were in...well, a water slide, causing Lemon Bread to ticklishly laugh and shriek as the millions of teeny-tiny villi lining his intestinal tract began brushing against her soft and sensitive belly.
"OH, SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP, HERE IT COMES!" Lemon Bread laughed and screamed maniacally as the gleaming, sh%#-smelling light at the end of the tunnel finally came into view!
"Oh, DON'T YOU FREAKING DARE...NO! BAD LIZARD! BAD!" Mettaton yelled angrily at Francis, slapping him brutally across the face as he involuntarily took a disgusting diarrhea sperm-sh%# all over the floor, pooping out Alphys and all five of the Amalgamates all at the same time (causing the entire background audience to run screaming out of the room, of course) as the former used her size-alteration ray to grow both herself and the latter (and her dress) back to normal size.
"Wait, WHAT THE HELL?! How in God's name did YOU six get in there?!" Mettaton stammered in shock and disbelief, glancing back and forth at Alphys and Francis with an utterly confused and profoundly disgusted look on his face as the former reluctantly put her size-alteration ray back into her pocket and exhaustedly fainted face-down onto the floor while Burgerpants finally took the opportunity (that Sans had accidentally left for him by forgetting to log out of thhe central control computer) to crawl into Francis' brain and reboot him back up and running again!
"HEY, YOU!" Mettaton walked over to Alphys and yelled at her commandingly while Francis woke back up from his brainshock-induced nap (with a severe headache, naturally), yawned loudly and gently clutched the side of his forehead to soothe the pain and exhaustion.
"Yeah?" Alphys groaned dizzily, crawling over to her completely and utterly ruined dress and reluctantly slipping it back onto herself as her infamous Amalgamates meekly shuffled out of the room and headed straight back to the incredibly creepy basement of Alphys' lab, where they belonged.
"You're RIGHT in a middle of a giant heaping puddle of liquid refuse that absolutely NEEDS to be cleaned up right this INSTANT, you blithering psychotic LUNATIC!" Mettaton scolded her lividly, effeminately throwing his arms up in the air and ruffling his hair wildly in frustration.
"YEAH?!" Alphys raised her voice and glared angrily at him, her glasses lopsided, her clothing tattered and torn and soggy, her body heavily bruised and disfigured and injured, and her face dripping and oozing with all kinds of disgusting substances as Mettaton lurched backward, covered his eyes and retched in revulsion at the mere sight alone, let alone the thought of what had caused it.
"I think that's enough 'FUN' for one day...come on, Alphys, it's time for the two of us to head back home and just pretend that all of this never happened." Francis sighed and shrugged, gently shoving Mettaton aside, taking Alphys by the hand and leading her back home with him.
"Oh, for God's sake, YOU DIDN'T EVEN PAY FOR THE DAMNED TABLE, YOU FREAKING IDIOT!" Mettaton angrily yelled at the top of his lungs at Francis, kneeling on the floor and shaking his fists at him with rage.
ISAISF 7
"Alright, so...is there anything else you'd like to do with me, my darling little cupcake?" Francis yawned and asked Alphys (whom he was currently cradling lovingly in his arms, of course)
as he walked right through the front door back into Alphys' lab, smacking his lips, bending over and adorably smooching her right on the tip of her pudgy little dinosaur nose as he gently set her back down onto the floor.
"Um...w-well...I think I certainly would like to, umm...perhaps r-roleplay a certain dearly beloved s-shipping between Sans and T-Toriel? Ehehe?" Alphys stammered shyly, biting her lip, crossing her legs, crossing her arms behind her back and twiddling her fingers cutely as she trembled and quivered in fearful anticipation of what Francis would say about the fact that she secretly shipped a f%#&ing skeleton and a goat together; would he laugh? Would he cry? Would he cry WITH laughter? Would he perhaps even BREAK UP with her? Seriously, the possibilities were absolutely endl-
"OOH, I know EXACTLY what you're talking about! And personally, I do believe I've got JUST the thing for that; actually, no, scratch that, I've got the THING for something way BETTER than that! Take a gander at THIS sh%# right here!" Burgerpants chuckled smugly through the speech-recording microphone in Francis' brain as he made him reach into his interdimensional shirt pocket (which, ostensibly, was filled almost to the brim with anime porn mags, hentai novels, waifu pillows and the like) and pulled out possibly one of the LEAST perverted and creepy things in there; an invisible digital camera presumably invented by the disgustingly nerdy freak himself, with state-of-the-art video-recording technology and everything!
"WOWWW...SO COOOL..." Alphys dropped her jaw straight to the floor and gawked droolingly and absentmindedly in absolute wonderment at the sheer eminent beauty of the device, completely forgetting about the recent Burgerpants fiasco as Francis proceeded to then promptly demonstrate the camera's other main function: Star Trek lens-flare hypnosis!
"Oh, and check THIS out; it's even got a complimentary badge that comes with it that you can use to turn YOURSELF invisible at literally any time just by clipping it on; how freaking cool is THAT?!" Francis gushed excessively over the device, throwing his head back and DREEmurring orgasmically as he pulled out the complimentary badge from his pocket and handed it over to Alphys while droolingly fantasizing about the things that he and Alphys were going to do with it on that very, very special (and more than likely extremely illegal, even in the Underground) night.
"Oh, uh...yeah, sure, that's really cool, I guess...so, uhh...how much did this thing COST exactly?" Alphys asked Francis curiously and teasingly, sincerely doubting that an absolutely degenerate dumbass like him would really be smart enough to invent such a thing himself as she unceremoniously stuffed the badge into her pocket and pulled out a pair of jetpacks.
"Oh, only something like twenty thousand dollars or so...and it's tougher than a freaking NOKIA phone! Again, seriously, HOW FREAKING COOL IS THAT?!" Francis squealed and moaned with nerdy pleasure as he threw it onto the floor at full force (leaving a huge crack in the tile that it landed on, much to Alphys' chagrin) and stomped on it as hard as he could, jumping into the air and squealing in pain and clutching his left foot from how much he had just accidentally hurt himself.
"Yeah, yeah, it's pretty freaking cool, I know..." Alphys groaned, sighed and shrugged, rolling her eyes as Francis sat down on her office chair, rotated toward her and extended out his now-extremely-sore left foot directly into her face, wiggling his toes and grinning seductively at her.
"So tell me, FRANCIS; exactly how much of this is actually YOU as opposed to Burgerpants?" Alphys asked Francis curiously and somewhat teasingly, glaring at him inquisitively as she lovingly licked his incredibly smooth and sexy foot, sucked its tantalizingly long and plump toes, kneaded her fingers and thumbs passionately into the surprisingly tough little tendons and metatarsals within his otherwise soft and tender soles, and finally delivered the coup-de-grace with an adorably sweet little boo-boo kiss right on the outstretched, saliva-soaked ball of his foot...which, of course, caused Francis to blush and moan with immense pleasure, as always.
"Oh, sorry, I wasn't listening; what was that you just said? I was, like, LITERALLY too busy jerking off to even HEAR you!" Francis laughed and waved awkwardly at Alphys with his right hand, causing her to sternly lower her eyelids at him in an explicitly "I KNOW IT'S YOU" type of stare as he lowered his left foot, hopped back down from his royal seat, took her by the hand and led her to the front door.
"More specifically, HOW are you already knowledgable enough about Sans and Toriel to know exactly WHERE, much less WHEN, they make out with each other every night?" Alphys somewhat tiredly asked Francis, yawning loudly and suddenly breaking out into an intensely mischievous smile as she realized how wonderfully obvious it was that Burgerpants really WAS inside his brain at the moment!
"Interuniversal internet, THAT'S how!" Francis chuckled and sweated nervously, drumming his fingers together and quaking his knees while Alphys clambered up onto his shoulder, pulled out a pair of magic tweezers from her dress pockets and began slowly, teasingly pushing them deeper and deeper into his ear while Burgerpants shook and trembled helplessly in fear.
"STOP, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DOING! YOU COULD LITERALLY END UP KILLING ME IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL WITH THAT!" Francis screamed in horror, shooing Alphys away from him agitatedly with his hands.
"Uh-huh..." Alphys crossed her arms over her chest and winked sassily at Francis.
"Damnit, she's already TOE-TALLY sussed me, hasn't she?" Burgerpants blushed deeply and sighed, glancing over to the side of him and hanging his head in profound kink-shame.
"Alright, look; if there's anything you've gotta do, PLEASE do it right now!" Francis explained, checking his iPhone and seeing that it was exactly 10:20 PM at the moment as he grabbed Alphys by the shoulders and shook her violently into focus. "It's almost 11 PM right now, which is exactly when the absolutely delicious romancing between Sans and Toriel that I've been hyping you up for all this time is nightly scheduled to begin; seriously, if we don't hurry, we're going to freaking MISS it!"
"I mostly just really, really, and I do mean REALLY, need to take a freaking shower!" Alphys shuddered, cringing in absolute disgust at the mere thought of what had just recently happened to her in the last two chapters as she ran up onto the second floor, grabbed a clean copy of the exact same dress she was currently wearing from her wardrobe, then quickly ran back downstairs and went straight into the bathroom without further ado while Francis walked out the front door and waited patiently outside for her to finish whatever it really was that she was doing.
ONE VERY LONG AND CLEANSING SHOWER LATER...
"We're flying! WHEEEEEE!" Alphys and Francis repeatedly, obnoxiously yelled in an utterly ridiculous falsetto, annoying the living bejeezus out of everyone beneath them all the while as they flew all the way across the Underground in a matter of seconds with their jetpacks.
"Hey, Alphys; why do people often mistake Sans for a weeaboo like us?" Francis jokingly asked Alphys in classic Sans fashion as the two of them lovingly held hands and ran merrily through the foolishly wide-open Snowdin/Ruins gate together, gazing in wonderment at all of the impossibly purple bricks that were now surrounding them as they finally reached the back-entrance passageway to Toriel's house...with only about ten or so minutes left to spare, no less!
"Hmm...you know, I'm actually not really sure why; in fact, I really should do a bit more research on that topic if and when I finally have the spare time and boredom level to-" Alphys began running her mouth excessively in response, comically missing the point of the joke as she and Francis quickly and quietly made their way through Toriel's basement hallway, turned themselves invisible (Francis with his natural chameleon blending ability, and Alphys by clipping on the complimentary badge that Francis had given her) and climbed up the staircase.
"Alright, now get next to Toriel's recliner and just wait a few minutes; her boyfriend Sans will arrive very shortly!" Francis turned the camera invisible (AUTHOR'S NOTE: yes, invisible things did indeed naturally possess the ability to see other equally invisible things through the mathematical law of double negatives in addition to video game logic...well, okay, mostly video game logic) and whispered nervously into Alphys' ear as the two of them tiptoed as quietly as possible into the living room of Toriel's house, where the big, fluffy and lop-eared (not to mention completely naked from head to toe, which was presumably how she slept more often than not) goat mother was adorably snoozing on her recliner, the cutely padded soles of her bare, incredibly large feet fully exposed and poking out teasingly at them while she eagerly waited for Sans to finally arrive.
"MUST...NOT...LICK..." Alphys and Francis panted, drooled at the mouth and stammered internally as Toriel innocently wiggled her toes at them in her sleep, blissfully unaware of how much of a tease she was actually being to them as they crept around her recliner and sneakily recorded all of the subtle little twitches and motions of her bare feet and soles on video camera.
"OH, DEAR, I LITERALLY CANNOT RESIST THE UNYIELDING TEMPTATION..." Alphys moaned internally with pleasure as she reluctantly kneeled down on both of her knees and began lovingly massaging and licking Toriel's utterly gorgeous soles while Francis fapped to her amusingly fetishistic antics with his right hand and excitedly recorded them with his left.
"HMM? Who's down there, licking my feet?" Toriel suddenly grunted in surprise as she woke right up and looked around the room curiously to see who had just been worshipping her feet.
"EEP!" Alphys squeaked adorably in terror, fleeing all the way over to the opposite-side edge of the house and pressing her back against the edgemost wall while Francis did the same, making sure to cover Alphys' mouth with his hand so that she wouldn't make any more noise as Toriel searched around the living room suspiciously, lifting up several objects and sniffing around with her nose; luckily, the corresponding shower-fresh and utterly-horrible scents of Alphys and Francis roughly canceled each other out, so Toriel's tired old nose was unable to detect them.
"Eh, it was probably just a really f%#&ing horny mouse or some sh%#..." Toriel muttered exhaustedly to herself as she walked over into the kitchen and pulled out a nice big jar of honey from the fridge while Alphys and Francis curiously followed along behind her, the latter making sure to quickly slip a dissolving five-minute weapons-grade sleeping pill into the glass of water on Toriel's recliner-side table while she wasn't looking.
"La di da, la dee dum..." Toriel peacefully, merrily sang as she sat back down in her recliner, squeezed out copious portions of honey all over her lovely bare feet, drank the rest of her glass of water for liquid nourishment as she set her honey bottle down on the very same recliner-side table that said glass was being kept on, then finally fell right back asleep in her chair...very FAST asleep, in fact!
"Hmm...let's see if THIS still brings out her ticklish side!" Alphys suggested to Francis as she playfully scratched Toriel's left sole with her adorable little finger-claws while Francis pulled out a chainsaw made of feathers from his pocket and handled the other one with it, even going as far as to saw it right in-between her toes; sure enough, even after they switched sides and did the exact same thing again except on the opposite feet, Toriel still barely even let loose a single giggle.
Meanwhile in her dreams, Toriel was in the living room reading her favorite book, 72 Uses For Snails (which, fittingly enough, was used mainly for fetish purposes); surely enough, right when she was just about to finish reading the Tickling entry, a whole bunch of snails suddenly crawled into the room through the amazingly neat and tidy mouse-hole right next to the lamp that was in the southwest corner of the room and climbed up onto her bare, extremely sensitive soles while she wasn't looking, causing her to blush brightly, hold her breath and bite her lip, her face turning blue as she tried desperately not to laugh from how unbearably much it tickled!
"GYAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHH!" Toriel dropped her book and exploded into a rampant, shrieking and crying fit of hysterical laughter, with numerous joyful tears escaping from her eyes as the snails crawled around on the heels and arches of her poor uber-ticklish feet, up over the balls of her feet, into the little gaps in-between her toes, and even all the way up onto the very tip-tops of said toes, leaving trails and splotches of gooey, glistening snail sperm...I mean, slime all over her beautiful goat-mom soles. "PLEASE STAH-HAH-HAH-HAHP! I'M FAR TOO OH-HO-HO-HOLD AND TI-HICKLISH FOR SH%# LIKE THI-HI-HI-HISSS!"
Meanwhile in real life, Francis and Alphys were busy drooling and licking their lips with delight as they lovingly licked and sucked sweet, sweet honey off of Toriel's already-scrumptious feet and toes, causing her to murr, moan and blush in her sleep as the GPS radar on Alphys' phone suddenly detected Sans approaching!
"QUICK, RUN AND HIDE BEFORE HE FREAKING SEES US!" Francis hissed urgently into Alphys' ear (despite the fact that they were both already literally impossible to see), grabbing her by the hand and attempting to drag her off to god-knows-where...luckily, however, Alphys, being the only truly smart one in the situation, smacked his hand away, placed her hands on her hips in true womanly fashion, and began giving him a stern lecture about just how borderline-brain-dead stupid he really was.
"Dude, for crying out loud, we're both already freaking INVISIBLE! What in the hell IS there to even freaking see here in the FIRST damned place, hmm? WHAT?!" Alphys ranted irritatedly at Francis, throwing her arms up in the air in frustration and smacking him across the face.
"Absolutely NOTHING, my dear; nothing at all!" Francis shrugged and chuckled teasingly, reaching over and hugging Alphys passionately as the poor girl squeaked loudly in pain and nearly suffocated from how ludicrously hard he was squeezing her; meanwhile outside in Snowdin, Sans made his way through the exact same Snowdin/Ruins gate that Alphys and Francis had previously come in through, prompting Alphys and Francis to immediately stop what they were doing and press themselves up against the westmost wall of the room in anticipation.
"Do you think he'll do it tonight?" Alphys stood up on her tippy-toes and anxiously whispered into Francis' ear as Sans drew (in other words, walked ridiculously slowly) ever nearer and nearer by the minute.
"Of COURSE he will; it's like CLOCKWORK!" Francis replied jokingly, causing Alphys to put her hands over the tip of her snout and giggle and snort with amusement while he excitedly pointed his video camera toward himself and turned it on, setting it to the record function as always.
"Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness one of the SEVEN wonders of the Underground!" Francis announced dramatically to the readers, staring directly at them through the recording lens of his video camera with only THE most utterly sh%#-eating type of grin one could ever hope to have on his (or her) face; needless to say, the one that Alphys demonstrated shortly thereafter when Francis briefly pointed the camera over at her wasn't exactly a disappointment either as far as sh#%-eating, sassily-winking, eyebrow-raising grins go.
"At about 11:30 PM, eastern standard time, on THIS very night, our favorite character Sans will ascend the staircase as he does EVERY NIGHT for a NICE...BIG...GLASS of milk!" Francis explained (pretty creepily, to be honest) as he pointed his camera over to where the staircase leading down to Toriel's basement hallway was located, then back to himself.
"And he ain't dressed for the UNDESIRABLE OCCASION, if you know what I MEME..." Alphys whispered seductively as Francis pointed the camera back at her while she brought her face uncomfortably close to the screen, wiggling her eyebrows and fluttering her eyelashes at the audience while Francis pointed the camera back toward himself and dramatically cleared his throat.
"Hehehe, yup! YOU heard right! He's completely..NAAAKKKEEEDDD!" Francis tilted the camera back toward himself and explained, with Alphys desperately trying not to bust out laughing as he lifted up his right hand onto the side of his head with the palm facing outward, then suddenly broke out into quite possibly THE absolute creepiest smile (and facial expression in general, for that matter) of his entire stinking life, his eyes suddenly going bloodshot and growing cartoon dot-pupils in nigh-uncontrollable excitement as he began ecstatically fantasizing his unholy and profoundly perverted little head off about...get this...A F%#&ING FATASS SKELETON F#*%ING AN ALMOST EQUALLY FATASS F^%#ING GOAT, of all things.
"WITH NO CLOTHES ON!" Alphys suddenly butted into the camera-view out of seemingly nowhere and maniacally, fan-girlishly squealed at the tops of her lungs with delight, her eyes sparkling and glittering like something straight out of anime; but alas, while she and Francis were still busy laughing their ever-loving asses off as a result of the former's unusually ridiculous antics, they suddenly heard Sans coming up the staircase...as well as Toriel beginning to finally wake back up again, no less!
"Oh, gee WHIZ, why am I so goddamned turned on right now..." Alphys and Francis nervously, embarrassedly thought to themselves, the latter pointing his camera eagerly at Sans as he came up the staircase into Toriel's house buck-naked (with his slimy, gooey, radioactively glowing ecto-penis dripping onto the floor in full force, as always) and smoothly, sexily walked his way over into the living room, predictably whistling Megalovania to himself (meme-loving bastard that he was) while Alphys and Francis literally drooled over a freaking SKELETON...and not even a particularly HOT one like Skeletor, Jack Skellington or Papyrus either; literally just more or less your average spooky scary skeleton.
"Oh, um...HEY there, Sans! I must say, I REALLY wasn't expecting you to GOAT here so early!" Toriel giggled and waved adorably at Sans, causing Alphys and Francis to roll their eyes and groan internally in response while Sans excitedly climbed up onto the world-renowned goat MILF's lap and began lovingly sucking her plump, gorgeous, ever-so-delightfully-fluffy teats!
"Yup, there is definitely no denying how much I SUCK at arriving to work on TIMELINE, ya know what I'm saying?" Sans snickered as he sucked and sucked and sucked on Toriel's tits like a baby while Alphys, Francis and Burgerpants regretfully began masturbating furiously in response.
"Well, I mean, hey, at least you arrived right in the DICK of time, am I right?" Toriel chuckled as she lovingly, tightly wrapped her arms around Sans and penetrated him right up the butt with her big fuzzy girl-penis while Sans pantingly and moaningly rubbed his now firmly-erect ecto-cock in-between her big fluffy goat boobs and shoved it into her loving, big-lipped mouth while Alphys literally went green (and Francis yellow) with romantic envy.
"MMM..." Toriel moaned lovingly with delight as she blew a good pint-sized load into Sans' pelvic region while also simultaneously swallowing another pretty decently sized load of creamy and gooey and sticky orgasm fluids from his penis.
"OHH, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH..." Toriel moaned even further as she sexily removed Sans' still-dripping boner from her mouth, teasingly dangling the resulting saliva-soaked cum strand from her tongue as she grabbed her honey bottle off of the recliner-side table and seductively poured its sticky, sweet, sugary goodness all over her already-orgasmically-beautiful soles, causing Sans to obediently sit down on all fours and pant like a drooling dog in response.
"Well, I mean, what can I say, really? All I know for sure is that you've been working me...down to the BONER!" Sans chuckled embarrassedly with an extremely bright and glowing blue blush on his face as he reluctantly swallowed his pride, got down onto his knees and lovingly worshipped her feet just like Alphys and Francis had done earlier...except even hotter this time, somehow!
"So tell me, Sans, how's the taste of DE FEET CUMMING along for you?" Toriel blushed and giggled embarrassedly as Sans licked every last nook, cranny, wrinkle, crevice and square inch of her adorably smooth and sexy goat soles, soaking them from heel to toes with his gooey, dripping ecto-saliva while the lovable goat woman murred and moaned with delight in response.
"Oh, you'd damned better believe that it's coming along FINGER-LICKING AND TOE-SUCKING good, my dear, sweet LOVE of my life!" Sans laughed as he immediately switched from licking Toriel's lovely, lovely soles to sucking passionately on her equally lovely toes; meanwhile, Alphys and Francis blushed up a storm, held their breath, covered their mouths with their hands while their faces began turning blue and purple from lack of air, and bit their jaws so painfully, lethally tightly that they actually began to taste their own blood leaking into their mouths as they both tried unbearably hard to hold in their laughter.
"This little piggy went to market!" Sans sang teasily to Toriel as he sucked on her right right toe while Alphys and Francis released their fingers from their noses and gasped for air, still covering their mouths with their hands, blushing adorably, snickering michievously, and sweating nervously as always while Sans systematically moved on to Toriel's next toe.
"This little piggy bought a butterscotch-cinnamon pie!" Sans sang as he sucked Toriel's right middle toe.
"This little piggy baked it in the oven!" Sans sang as he sucked (the engagement ring right off of) Toriel's right left toe (and sneakily stuffed it into his pockets while Toriel wasn't looking).
"This little piggy smashed it into pieces with a sledgehammer and slathered it all over her gorgeous naked body!" Sans sang as he sucked Toriel's left right toe.
"This little piggy made Sans' nose bleed even more than his chest did when Frisk ****** *** **** * ***** at the end of the Genocide Run!" Sans sang as he sucked Toriel's left middle toe.
"And last but not least, THIS little piggy locked Sans up in a bondage outfit and fem-dominantly forced him to lick every last sugary, gooey drop and crumb of pie right off of her entire naked body from head to toe, whipping him like a slave in the process!" Sans sang as he diligently sucked Toriel's left left toe before finally wetly smooching right on both of the (again) handsomely outstretched and saliva-dripping balls of her soles and simultaneously gave both her feet a nice warm skeletal hug, causing Alphys and Francis to finally crack and burst out into hysterical fits of laughter.
"HOLY SH%#, IS THERE SOMEONE SPYING ON US?!" Sans turned around and screamed in shock and humiliation as Alphys and Francis ran (and flew) back home as fast as they could, laughing all the way.
"Eh, we were probably just hearing things...anyway, let's just hope that there's not any evil aFOOT around here!" Toriel giggled and blushed as she and Sans promptly began giving each other the footjobs of an afterlifetime.
ISAISF 8
"Okay, seriously, let us NEVER speak of that little fiasco again!" Alphys shuddered as she and Francis ran straight back into her lab and used their phones to lock the front door behind them.
"Aw, whatever, man, you KNOW it was freaking hilarious! Don't lie!" Francis laughed, shrugging his shoulders smugly as Alphys took off his jetpack and hers and stuffed both of them right back into her pocket.
"Whatever, man...anyway, which would you rather do: stay up with me all night, or just go to bed with me right now and get this whole utterly ridiculous mess of a date over with already?" Alphys sighed, shrugged, groaned and reluctantly asked Francis, who scratched his chin and stared contemplatively at Alphys for all of about three seconds before finally raising his finger into EUREKA position!
"Alphys, PLEASE; why WOULDN'T I want to stay up all night with you, especially on our first DATE? You of all people should know by now that that is SERIOUSLY NOT the weeaboo way, you silly GOOSE!" Francis teasingly chuckled at her rather embarrassing expense, slapping her on the back so hard that it caused her to accidentally spit out her loose wisdom tooth (and shriek in pain as a result, naturally) and ruffling her quills with his hand until they were all hideously disfigured and jutting out in hilariously mismatched directions...just like her dad, of course!
"DAD, I SWEAR TO CHRIST, ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M GOING TO FREAKING KILL YOU..." Alphys growled furiously under her breath and hissed like a snake at Francis, causing him to jump back and flinch in fearful surprise as she crossed her arms over her chest and sternly glared at him.
"My dear ever-loving GOD, girl; seriously, if looks could kill, you would be able to literally one-shot Asgore!" Francis stammered very disturbedly, cowering up against the wall and giving Alphys a "seriously, what in the actual hell is wrong with you?" type of look.
MEANWHILE, INSIDE FRANCIS' BRAIN...
"Poor kid...man, if only I hadn't spent all of my fucking parenting money on GODDAMNED HEROIN!" Burgerpants thought to himself, writhing wildly on the floor and clutching his head and scratching bloody claw marks into the sides of it on the last few words of his sentence.
"Well, anyway...tell me, neko-cakes, do you perhaps like...a-anime?" Francis anxiously crossed his legs (like Alphys), adorably held his arms out in front of him like a little baby dinosaur (just like Alphys), and nervously, stammeringly asked her, sweating all the while (do I even need to explain?) while Burgerpants smirked, curled the outer ends of his V-slanted eyebrows into grotesque swirl shapes, and rubbed his hands together evilly, squinted his eyes smarmily and grinned like an alligator from cheek to cheek with delightfully eager anticipation of what he was very obviously right about to suggest to poor Alphys for movie night.
"Uh...yeah? Who exactly DO you think you're talking to, again?" Alphys asked Francis confusedly, already ever-so-slightly weirded out by how much Francis was starting to deliberately imitate her.
"Why, only the absolute biggest Mew Mew fan in the whole damned WORLD besides me, of course!" Francis boasted arrogantly, standing up tall, posing flamboyantly, and placing his hand over his chest proudly while Alphys just continued staring at him, cocking an eyebrow in sudden realization of what he was almost certainly about to say and apprehensively raising one of her index fingers (the right one, to be exact) at him.
"I don't LIKE where this is going!" Alphys warned Francis nervously, waving her finger at him teasingly and placing her other hand sassily on the corresponding left hip while Francis bit his lip and glanced back and forth paranoidly (suddenly growing temporary pupils on his eyes again, for whatever strange and mildly disturbing reason) as he sneakily tiptoed his way over to Alphys' movie cabinet.
"Stop!" Alphys reflexively commanded Francis, running over hastily to her movie cabinet, pressing her back against it and blocking it on either side with her arms while Francis snidely shoved her out of the way, opened up the doors to the filing cabinet and eagerly looked inside.
"SAY, cutie-pie, would you like to watch-"
"Stop!" Alphys commanded Francis a second time (noticeably louder this time, in fact), grabbing his slimy, filthy right hand and slamming it forcefully into the base of the Mew Mew shelf right in mid-reach for her reluctantly retrieved-from-the-garbage-dump copy of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2!
"-Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 with me?" Francis asked Alphys teasingly, glaring seductively at her and fluttering his ugly nerdy eyelashes at her and lovingly kissing her on the cheek, causing her to blush with profound flattery and meekly loosen her grip on Francis' hand, giving him just enough time to reach into the shelf a second time, grab the Mew Mew 2 DVD Z and yank it right out!
"STOP!" Alphys screamed at Francis in absolute terror, leaping onto his shoulders and desperately attempting to pry the DVD case right out of his hands with her own...but alas, it was to absolutely no avail, as she soon learned after pointlessly and needlessly exhausting what little strength and stamina she had in the first place in a battle that she literally couldn't win.
"Are you done yet?" Francis smirked teasingly at Alphys, grabbing her by the resultingly blushing tip of her tail, dropping her face-down onto the floor and securely pinning her underneath his massive chameleon foot.
"FRANCIS, FOR GOD'S SAKE, DO YOU EVEN FREAKING REALIZE WHAT YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW?!" Alphys screamed and cried, throwing a literal HISSY-fit (nope, not sorry) and pounding her feet and fists on the floor just like Chris Chan would after getting his Sonichu blow-up doll taken away (fittingly enough, honestly).
"MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE 2 IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN! I DON'T GIVE TWO SH%#S IF IT ACTUALLY GOT REALLY GOOD REVIEWS FROM THE GENERAL PUBLIC! I JUST ABSOLUTELY F%# ING HATE IT!" Alphys ranted her head off in a profoundly childish fit of pure unadulterated (not to mention un-adult-WORTHY) autistic nerd rage as she clutched her head and squirmed wildly on the floor like a tortured animal (which, technically, she was, bit still).
"But WHY, though? Isn't it supposed to be, like, one of the best Japanese animated films since Purr Purr Smoochy Hottie 1?" Francis pointed out and asked Alphys curiously, suddenly being oddly reminded of Cave Story for whatever reason while Alphys continued pathetically writhing around on the floor, his humongous sweaty foot being literally the only thing holding her in place.
"DON'T LISTEN TO THOSE FRICKING FAN FRICKS; THEY HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT PROPER TASTE IN ANIME IS! MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE 2 WAS A FILM THAT ABSOLUTELY DEFILED EVERYTHING THAT I LOVED ABOUT THE FIRST ONE BACK WHEN I WAS TEN YEARS OLD AND THEREFORE STILL DO NOW! THE GRAPHICS AND ANIMATION WERE ABSOLUTE F^#%ING HORSESH#% ON AN INDIGO-LEAGUE POKÉSTICK, IT WAS F*#%ING LAZILY THROWN TOGETHER, I HAD TO WAIT EIGHT GODDAMNED YEARS FOR IT, THE CHARACTERS WERE ALL REDUCED INTO UTTERLY WORTHLESS, FORCED-MEME-SPOUTING F%#&ING CARICATURES OF STEREOTYPES, AND WORST OF ALL, THE F%#&ING SH^%-FACED STUDIO BEHIND THE CREATION OF THIS UNHOLY F*^#ING ABOMINATION ACTUALLY HAD THE F%#&ING NERVE TO CHARGE TEN F*%#ING DOLLARS FOR IT! SERIOUSLY, TEN F#%&ING DOLLARS FOR THIS ABSOLUTELY ROTTEN PILE OF SH%#?! I SAY, WHAT THE F#%& EVEN IS LIFE ANYMORE?! ALL I KNOW IS, I'VE F%#&ING HAD IT! THAT'S IT, ABSOLUTELY NO MORE! I'M F%#&ING DONE HERE! PLEASE JUST F%#&ING END ME ALREADY, WOULD YOU?!" Alphys literally ranted herself to sleep while Francis used his phone to voice-record her review of the film with disturbingly pitch-perfect accuracy and jokingly post it onto the film's Metacritic page, giving the film a 0/10 rating in the process while Alphys panted and moaned in exhaustion from how big of a temper-tantrum she had just thrown over not agreeing with someone else's choice of movie to watch.
"Man, would you just LOOK at yourself?" Francis sighed, looking down at his lazily sprawled-out-on-the-floor daughter...I mean, girlfriend...and shaking his head in utter disappointment.
"Over in Snowdin...hell, even out here in Hotland, it seems, kids are playing outside, having fun with each other, and probably being more mature than both of us combined now that I think about it...and here you are throwing a f%#&ing one-year-old temper tantrum to rival the goddamned HOLOCAUST...all over someone picking a movie that's slightly less good than your absolute favorite f%#&ing one in the whole goddamned WORLD?!" Burgerpants screamed furiously at Alphys through Francis' voice-control microphone, shaking his fist threateningly at her and seething with rage.
"Son, I may not know much about how to properly raise a child...or anything of the sort, really...but what I most certainly DO know, just for the record, is that on days like these, what spoiled little brats like YOU oughta be getting is a nice big SPANKING if anything! C'MERE, YOU MOTHERF%#&ER!" Francis yelled furiously at Alphys, reaching down angrily, lifting his foot up from off of her poor aching back, grabbing her by the tail, scooping her up into his arms, forcing her into optimal spanking position and repeatedly, forcefully, painfully smacking her fat, bloated, adorably firm and tender little dino ass-cheeks with his scrawny, freakishly bony lizard hand.
"OW! OWW...OWWWWW...OOH, THAT FEELS SO GOOOD...OH BABY, YES...PLEASE KEEP GOING...PLEASE...FOR MY SAKE, DADDY..." Alphys began moaning with pleasure while Burgerpants cringed several inches backward in his seat, blushed immensely in second-hand embarrassment and squinted his lower eyelids in utter confusion and outright disgust at just how much of a truly demented slut his poor psychotic bitch of a daughter really was.
"You know what, I think I'll just see whatever this big red shiny button over here is supposed to do, and then just let Francis take it from there!" Burgerpants decided as he relucantly reached over onto the far right side of Francis' central control dashboard and pressed the aforementioned button, closing his eyes and holding his breath as he began internally praying to God that he HADN'T just accidentally pressed Francis' self-destruct button.
"HUH?! WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?!" Burgerpants gasped in surprise as some kind of weird-looking scanning device suddenly came out of a secret compartment just above the central control computer's screen and scanned him thoroughly from head to jellybean toes and everything in between! "HEY, STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT! WHAT, ARE YOU FREAKING GAY OR SOME SH#%?!"
"OHHHHHHHH, MYYYYYYYY..." Francis moaned, feeling a sudden ticklish sensation deep within his brain as his entire body began converting itself from fat and disgustingly squishy to skinny and handsomely muscular while Burgerpants' jaw dropped to the floor in absolute disbelief.
"Heh heh heh...hey, Alphys, take a look at me NOW!" Francis laughed teasingly at Alphys as he finally finished literally kissing her pink, sore and tender ass and set her back down onto her feet...much to his surprise, however, Alphys really didn't have much of a reaction after looking up at him.
"Oh, so you're SKINNY and HANDSOME now...COOL, I guess..." Alphys groaned, sighed and rolled her eyes disappointedly. "Honestly, after the sh%# I've been through lately, that really doesn't surprise me in the slightest..." she looked down at the floor irritatedly, crossed her arms over her chest and muttered to herself under her breath while Francis crossed his now-noticeably-more-muscular arms behind his silky-smooth back and crossed his now-even-longer-and-spindlier (and also standing-straight-up) legs awkwardly in confusion.
"Hmph! Not GOOD enough for you, huh? Well then, how about THIS?!" Francis growled frustratedly as he literally ripped his dorky old Mario shirt (which was now dangling all the way down to his feet and spreading itself all over the floor around him like a comically oversized women's skirt) right off, revealing quite possibly the single hottest body she had ever seen on anyone besides Burgerpants! (That moment approximately five seconds later when she realized that it actually WAS just a computer-generated genetic imitation of Burgerpants' body structure tho...)
"Well? What do you think? Do I make you HORNY or what?" Francis teasingly smirked and winked at her, flexing his oily, sweaty muscles and posing sexily as the positively ridiculous amount of nose blood that Alphys had just sprayed all over his chest trickled slowly but surely down his finely toned pectoral muscles, fabulously shapen abdominal muscles and everything in between.
"OHHHHHHHH, YESSSSSSSS..." Alphys moaned and blushed rosy-pink across her entire face with humiliated arousal, squirting out a huge nasty puddle of female ejaculatory fluid all over her just-recently-mopped floor tiles as she exhaustedly placed the back of her left hand over her forehead, dizzily fainted head-over-heels onto the floor and passed out into unconsciousness!
"I take it that's a YES..." Francis sighed, blushing with embarrassment and second-hand shame as he picked up Alphys with one hand (not even remotely breaking a sweat this time), grabbed her Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 DVD with the other and headed back downstairs excitedly.
ISAISF 9
ONE CHANGE OF CLOTHING LATER...
"Alright, here goes nothing!" Francis sighed as he walked over to the DVD player, opened up Alphys' Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 DVD case and somewhat reluctantly bent over to insert the disc into it, lifting his tail up and revealing his beautiful firm and toned ass cheeks (complete with the lovely little butthole) while Alphys (who had just woken up from her sexiness-induced unconsciousness at the hands of Francis and Burgerpants) sprayed a violent stream of blood from her nose yet again, blushing irritatedly and covering her snout humiliatedly with her hands as the uncomfortably, terrifyingly beautiful and sexy lizard-nerd-turned-f%#&boy glared seductively at her and teasingly shook his rubbery, scaly, 100-percent-naked butt at her.
"I swear to God, Francis; if you don't f%#&ing quit it, I'm AFRAID I'm going to pay another sweet little visit to your CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM and f%#*ing LOBOTOMIZE you with my bare, stinking weeaboo HANDS!" Alphys growled furiously and hissed like a venomous snake at Francis, despite the fact that deep down, she still secretly loved him very, very much.
"HA! Personally, I'd like to see you TRY, cinnamon roll!" Francis laughed uproariously, plopping down right next to Alphys on the sofa and pulling out a Princess Peach bodypillow from underneath the couch cushions while Alphys pulled out an Undyne one from the pockets of her baby-blue, adorably fish-patterned footie pajamas and rested her head on it, lying down peacefully and tiredly on the couch while Francis made passionate, peachy love to his pillow.
"OHH, PEACH, MY DEAR AND BELOVED WAIFU, GIVE ME EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT...YEAH, MAKE THAT PEACH TREE BLOSSOM...YEAH, LET ME PUT IT IN YOUR RASPBERRY BUSH...OHH...OOOOOH...AHHHHHH...LET ME PLANT MY SEEEEEEDS IN THAT LOVELY LITTLE FLOWERPOT OF YOURS...OHHHH, SWEET MOMMA..." Francis panted and moaned with arousal as he began forcefully and erotically grinding the Peach bodypillow against his beautiful muscles, caressed it lovingly with his arms, licked it all over with his dextrous, tentacle-like lizard tongue and savagely thrusted his penis into its many, many purposefully made holes.
"Goddamnit, Francis; I'll have you know that MY waifu is WAY f%#&ing better than YOURS!" Alphys yelled angrily and revoltedly at Francis as she threateningly brandished her cottony-soft Undyne bodypillow and whacked him across the face with it.
"Well, at least MINE'S actually GOOD for something other than F%#&ING!" Francis snapped and bit back fiercely at Alphys, whacking her right in the adorably chubby belly and causing her to tumble right over onto her fat, smelly rear!
"Why, YOU little...that's EXACTLY what I was literally JUST about to say about MINE, for f%#&'s sake!" Alphys roared lividly at Francis, lunging onto him and clobbering him mercilessly in the face with her bodypillow as the two of them entangled themselves together into the weeaboo pillow fight of a lifetime!
FIVE MINUTES LATER...
"Ughhh...youuu...winnn..." Francis groaned and sighed dejectedly, wiping off his sperm-dripping dick with his hands, exhaustedly collapsing face-up onto the sofa and lazily sprawling himself out on it (resting his head on his Peach bodypillow, of course) while Alphys stood triumphantly atop his beautifully handsome, manly chest (seductively licking her lips and raising her eyebrows at the readers in the process) and beat it like a muscular bongo with her Undyne bodypillow.
"Wait a minute...OH SH%#, WE HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED THE MOVIE YET!" Alphys gasped, suddenly realizing that she and Francis were still stuck on the menu screen as she jumped down onto the floor, grabbed her DVD-player remote off of the coffee table and hit the PLAY button.
ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER...
"You know, Alphys, I really don't see what's so bad about this movie; in fact, I'm pretty sure that roughly the entire anime series it belongs to is about the same sh#% overall as this, you know." Francis boredly laid full-frontal on the couch, crossing his legs seductively, tiredly resting his head on his left hand and erotically stroking his penis with his right as he explained to Alphys.
"Actually, you know what? Yeah, you're right; so far, what's happened here (and all that's ever really important here in the grand scheme of things, honestly) is that Mew Mew is this cloyingly cutesy, wutesy, generic and cliched-as-all-hell neko-catgirl Mary Sue motherf%#^er who runs around Tokyo on all kinds of hallucinogenic drugs, beats the living sh%# out of stereotypical high school bullies (as well as your typical weak, petty and incompetent 1980s Saturday-morning cartoon villains) and kisses people to control their thoughts...which, by the way, is horribly ironic for you to be watching, considering the fact that my father has been literally INSIDE YOUR HEAD and manually controlling your brain for the past several chapters, but anyway, just to set the record straight, I reluctantly agree with you. Honestly, what exactly WAS it that I LIKED so much about this stupid show again?" Alphys boredly and tiredly looked over at Francis and curiously asked him, eagerly waiting to see whether or not he would even be able to come up with a viable answer.
"Um...pardon me for asking, but WHAT was that you just said about my freaking BRAIN, again?! PLEASE don't tell me that Burgerpants is STILL horsing around in there as if he freaking OWNS the place!" Francis stammered and trembled helplessly in literal naked fear, curling up into an adorably quivering little ball of muscles and biting his fingernails at the mere thought of some of the utterly disgusting things that Burgerpants could have potentially very easily been doing in there at the moment!
"Oh, trust me, you don't even know the HEMISPHERE of it!" Alphys laughed with a teasing wink, swinging her hand down like a cat paw at Francis as he set his feet down on the floor and sat upright, clutching his head and vibrating intensely in fear as Alphys purred with pleasure from how wonderfully relaxed the resulting vibrations in the couch made her feel and crossed her footie-pajamaed legs teasingly at him.
MEANWHILE, INSIDE FRANCIS' BRAIN...
"Yeah, yeah, I get it; you want me to turn your footie pajamas into BARE-footies, don't you?" Burgerpants groaned and sighed irritatedly through Francis' voice-control microphone, rolling his eyes and shaking his head in disgust. "Goddamnit, seriously, girl, what the hell is up with you and your STINKING foot fetish?!"
"Ha ha, GOOD one!" Alphys clutched her sides and laughed merrily as Francis reluctantly reached into her pajama pockets, pulled out a nice big pair of scissors, grabbed the puffy little foot sections of Alphys' pajamas and cut them right off to reveal her ever-so-sexy bare feet!
"Well? Again, they're all yours, big boy, what in the hell are you WAITING for?" Alphys lovingly teased Francis, extending out her right foot toes-first into his nose and playfully wiggling all three of said toes at him as she smoothly pulled them out.
"Well, if anything, I'm mainly just waiting for YOU to finally realize that there really ARE, in fact, FAR more valuable things in life then simply quenching other people's sick f%#^ing FETISHES!" Francis yelled disgustedly at Alphys, slapping her across the face and going upstairs to grab a very special surprise gift for her!
"Alright, where is it, where is it...I know for a fact that I saw whatever the hell this stupid thing is supposed to be floating around in his memory banks SOMEWHERE...AH, HERE IT IS" Burgerpants thought to himself anxiously and weirdly excitedly as he frantically rummaged his way through the literally indestructible pocket of what little was left of Francis' shirt and pulled out some kind of weird foot-bath device that looked to be a small tub with little tickling hands at the bottom.
"Wow, what's THAT?" Alphys asked Francis curiously, blushing a little as he brought the device back downstairs (along with another copy of it for himself) and proudly displayed it to her.
"Um...I call it the Foot-Tub! Yeah, let's just leave it at that, shall we?" Francis blushed and sighed as he leaned down and placed both Foot-Tubs on the floor right beneath where he and Alphys were sitting (in other words, huddled up right next to each other) on the sofa, then pulled the remote for them right out of his ass and excitedly turned both of them on.
"OOOH, that feels SO relaxing..." Alphys and Francis giggled, blushed and moaned intensely with delightful pleasure as the devices soaked their lovely bare feet in warm, aloe-vera-scented water while simultaneously rubbing and tickling their cushiony-soft, aching and ever-so-sensitive soles; in fact, the massage made them feel so wonderfully relaxed that they actually ended up drifting off and falling asleep for the rest of the entire film, wrapping one arm each around each other, leaning against each other on the sofa and hugging each other gently in the process.
ABOUT AN HOUR LATER...
"Wow, what even HAPPENED in this movie while we were gone?" Francis asked Alphys curiously, shutting the Foot Tubs off and gently removing his feet from his while she removed hers from hers.
"Eh, nothing really important...so anyway, what would you like to do next, besides f%#& me absolutely SILLY?" Alphys asked Francis, briefly unbuttoning her pajamas and flashing her boobs at him with a teasing wink.
"Hmm...actually, to be perfectly honest with you, that's EXACTLY what I want to do next!" Francis laughed uproariously, slapping Alphys on the back so hard that he nearly knocked the wind out of her. "But first, let's have a little considerably-past-midnight SNACK, shall we?"
"Sure thing, pal!" Alphys laughed, stroking Francis' gorgeous chest muscles lovingly as she sprang right off the couch onto her still-incredibly-soft-and-tender feet and ran over to the refridgerator. "So which flavor of artificially produced additive powder do you prefer for your noodles? Fermented cat piss or stagnant motor oil?"
ONE ANNOYINGLY LONG MICROWAVE COOKING TIME LATER, AFTER ALPHYS HAD GONE TO THE PAINSTAKING TROUBLE TO CLEAN UP HER DOCUMENT-AND-RAMEN-CUP-LITTERED DESK AND CONVERT IT INTO A DINNER TABLE WHILE FRANCIS SAT ON HIS FAT LAZY ASS AND SLEPT...
"So, what do you think about living down here in the Underground with me? Not to mention IN A FREAKING INDUSTRIAL HELL LIKE HOTLAND, no less?" Alphys asked Francis with an inquisitively glaring look on her face as the two of them shoveled their pasty, rubbery, fake-ass noodles into their mouths and had a contest to see who could slurp them down the most obnoxiously loudly.
"Oh, I dunno; personally, it seems pretty damned nice to me! I mean, yeah, sure, if I accidentally slip off of even ONE of the millions upon millions of f%#&ing precariously rocky cliffs around here, it'll more than likely cause me to either fall to my death or just simply fall into the vast lava sea down below and f%#&ing melt into nothingness like Gollum from Lord Of The Rings...but still, I'd much rather be HOT than cold, you know what I'm saying?" Francis replied unsurprisingly long-windedly, accentuating his usage of the word HOT with a sexy little muscular titty-bounce while Alphys rolled her eyes and nonchalantly continued eating in response.
"So anyway, where and how exactly would you like to f#%^ me, Francie?" Alphys asked, tilting her cup into her mouth, drinking her comically oversalted, MSG-loaded broth and wiping her mouth off sexily with her sleeve while making the classic Michael Jackson SHAMONE noise in the process.
"Does DOWN AND DIRTY ring any bells?" Francis asked Alphys as he drank his own disgustingly unhealthy broth, licked his lips and raised his eyebrows seductively at her.
"Oh, you'd better believe it DOES, you adorably disgusting little TRAMP!" Alphys smirked teasingly at him as the two of them extended their tongues out directly into each other and tied them together into a passionately loving, dripping, french-kissing knot.
ONE INCREDIBLY OBVIOUS LADY AND THE TRAMP REFERENCE LATER...
"Alright, there's just one really important thing I need to tell you before we go down this elevator; PLEASE do not tell ANYONE about this unless you absolutely HAVE to, capiche?" Alphys sternly warned Francis as the two of them walked into Alphys' obviously fake bathroom together and took the elevator straight down into her incredibly dilapidated and disturbing basement!
"Wow, what's THIS place? It looks like something out of an old sci-fi horror movie, and I absolutely freaking ADORE it!" Francis squealed with excitement as he and Alphys looked around anxiously at the dark, grimy, clammy, eerily foggy, and indeed heavily-dilapidated wreck of a laboratory surrounding them and heard some rather horrifying screams off in the distance.
"Holy sh%#, Alphys, where in the hell did you get THOSE badass sound effects?" Francis laughed uproariously with delight, slapping Alphys on the back so hard that it provoked her to savagely bitch-slap him right across his fat stupid face in response.
"Those AREN'T sound effects, you freaking MORON!" Alphys scolded Francis angrily as she grabbed him by the hand and reluctantly dragged him along with her through the ominously mysterious hallways of the (true) laboratory, causing numerous data-log screens on the walls to light up behind them in the process as Francis suddenly began to realize just how phenomenally f%#&ed-up of a character his new girlfriend really was even by adult game standards!
"Well then, exactly what in the hell ARE those utterly revolting and horrific demon noises coming from? More importantly, do I really even WANT to know in the first place?" Francis stammed nervously, his knees quivering like Jell-O as he and Alphys walked through the main lobby of the laboratory and made their way into the unsettlingly massive bedroom area, in which intriguingly numerous stock-model beds were all gathered together in grid formation.
"Those, my dear friend, are coming from those-that-must-not-be-named; in other words, the Amalgamates." Alphys sighed dejectedly, hanging her head in shame and weeping gently in both crippling shame and profound horror at the mere thought of what she had done to them.
"The Amalga-WHATS?" Francis asked curiously, scratching his head in confusion while Alphys, with a mere snap of her fingers, made all nine of the beds combine together into one big roughly-half-of-the-entire-room-sized bed, plopped herself down on it and reluctantly took her pajamas off, rendering herself completely naked while Francis drooled at the mouth, gently nosebled and shot her a lovingly winking thumbs-up of approval in response.
"To make a long story short, King Asgore told me I needed to find a way to bring my fellow monsters back to life after death through the power of a certain biological substance known as Determination, and so I wrangled up a bunch of dead generic-enemy bodies into this place you see right here (which previously belonged to another even creepier royal scientist named Gaster, just so you know) and injected them with the stuff in hopes that it would bring them BA-HA-HA-HAAACK!" Alphys explained and then suddenly cried out loudly in agonizingly painful sorrow, lying face-down and burying her head in her arms and sobbing gently.
"Aww, what's the matter, sweetie-PI? Sounds like they're all more or less FINE to me!" Francis giggled and blushed with intense flattery as he kneeled onto the bed, scooped the poor girl up into his arms and cradled her lovingly. "There, there, sweetie, it'll all be okay...everything's going to be all right, don't worry..."
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP IT ALREADY, YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME F%#&ING PUKE!" Alphys retched in disgust, forcing herself angrily out of Francis' loving embrace as she cleared her throat and reluctantly continued speaking, despite clearly already knowing the fact that neither Francis nor Burgerpants himself would ever truly be able to understand what she was feeling anyway.
"OH, and FURTHERMORE, just for the record, those things are NOT f%#&ing okay! Seriously, have you even f%#&ing SEEN what they look like now?!" Alphys yelled furiously, grabbing Francis by the shoulders, pressing her face sternly against his and shaking him violently in frustration.
"Um...NO?" Francis shrugged his shoulders and sighed awkwardly.
"Well..." Alphys sighed dejectedly, glancing off to the side and hanging her head ever-so-slightly in shame, "to make ANOTHER long story short, here's what happened to them: you see, the DT injections actually DID successfully bring the dead monsters back to life somehow...but then the absolutely unthinkable and more importantly unspeakable happened!"
"You see, at the time I wasn't aware that it took a relatively long time, like somewhere around three hours or so, for dead bodies to come back to life after being injected with determination; therefore, due to my impudent impatience, I just continued running around the laboratory, maniacally and repeatedly injecting everyone with determination like a complete and utter f%#&ing LUNATIC!" Alphys explained, clutching her head, hanging it in shame and gently crying in sadness.
"And what exactly WAS the result of that, might I ask?" Francis asked Alphys nervously, beginning to think that he really seriously did NOT want to see whatever she was currently telling him about.
"Basically, the poor things melted together into grotesque eldritch-abomination monstrosities from determination overdose, and the poor unfortunate original bodies that ended up making up their components were sadly never heard from again; to make matters even WORSE, their new forms are literally SO f%#^ing hideous and terrifying that when I tried to finally man up, tell the truth to everyone and finally release the poor utterly revolting freaks of nature from this miserable place and return them back to their families once and for all, the central components' own freaking FAMILIES rejected them! And just to put the icing onto the absolute disaster cake, it was pretty much literally ALL because of me! NOW do you understand why I almost constantly act so goddamned DEPRESSED and IRRITABLE all the time?!" Alphys ranted and yelled frustratedly at Francis, shaking her fists at him and wiping her tear-soaked eyes (and face) with her sleeves while Francis himself suddenly broke out into a fit of hysterical sobbing and crying in response.
"OH MY GOD, IT'S THE SADDEST FREAKING STORY SINCE BAMBEE-HEE-HEE-HEE! WAAAAAAH!" Burgerpants wailed, sobbed and whined sarcastically through Francis' voice-control microphone like the total despicable asshole he kind of was, trying hard not to laugh while the poor guy himself did it for real, writhing about wildly and frantically pounding his fists and feet on the bed just like Alphys had done earlier with the floor upstairs in her regular laboratory...only for a much more mature, understandable and respectable reason this time, obviously.
"Anyway, with all that out of the way...despite everything I've done...you STILL want to f%#& me silly, don't you, you cheeky little man-slut?" Alphys sighed, winking at him teasingly as she placed her fingers on the inner walls of her gaping vagina and stretched out the opening to utterly ri-DICK-ulous proportions, already causing Francis' dick to almost instantaneously go rock-hard.
"Um...okay, but first, I have something I really need you TO F%#&ING GROW THE F%#& UP, YOU GODDAMNED WORTHLESS WEEABOO-TRASH-F%#&ING PIECE OF FAT LAZY SH%#!" Francis blushed, sighed and then suddenly yelled furiously at Alphys, abusively whipping and lashing her right across the face with his tail, kicking her right over onto her back and brutally, repeatedly stomping on her with his right foot while she was down and squirming in pain.
"Hey, WHAT IN THE F%#& WAS THAT SH%# ABOUT, YOU GODDAMNED SH%#-EATING, PUSSY-LICKING MOTHERF%#&ER?!" Alphys got up and snapped right back at poor demonically-possessed Francis, brandishing her finger-claws threateningly at him and hissing like a viper.
"Burgerpants, this is officially the LAST f%#*ing time I'm TELLING you; FOR GOD'S SAKE, GET THE BLOODY HELL OUT OF MY GODDAMNED COCKPIT, WOULD YOU PLEASE?!" Francis yelled infuriatedly at Burgerpants, punching himself in the head and attempting to claw his skin off in frustration while Burgerpants just sat right where he was, in the poor bastard's brain, laughing his own head off with sadomasochistic delightful amusement while his poor victim trembled, bit his nails quivered his knees and clutched his poor, poor head helplessly in fear.
"Hee hee, you said-"
"NOW, FOR F%#&'S SAKE!" Francis yelled loudly at Burgerpants, crossing his arms over his chest and shaking his head in disgust while Alphys began racking her own brain for a way to get her poor boyfriend out of his utterly horrifying mind-control predicament at the hands of one of the Underground's absolute craziest, most profoundly degenerate motherf%#^ers!
"OH...oh, dear god, this is going to be so dreadfully embarrassing and humiliating...but at the rate things are going right now, I suppose there really IS pretty much no other choice..." Alphys sighed, hanging her head in shame and shuddering with fear as she reluctantly approached Francis (who was hopelessly sitting criss-crossed on the bed and hysterically sobbing, with his head buried deeply into his hands) and lovingly nuzzled his big, pudgy snout with her own.
"Um...Alphys, w-what are you doing?! Alphys, please don't subject yourself to this; y-you do KNOW that there HAS to be another way around this, RIGHT?!" Francis stammered in apprehensive terror as Alphys suddenly paused right in the literal middle of their nose-nuzzling session so that their nostrils were perfectly aligned with each other in a straight line. "Like, seriously, couldn't you just, oh I don't know, SHRINK YOURSELF or some sh%# like that?"
"Shh...don't worry, it'll all be over soon enough, my darling..." Alphys whispered lovingly to Francis, shedding several sympathetic tears as she glared seductively into her lover's handsomely bespectacled eyes.
"Oh, BURRRGERPANNNTS...FATTTHERRR...WHERE ARRRE YOUUU?" Alphys playfully teased Burgerpants, causing him to develop a massive erection just from the mere thought of what she was implying.
"COME TO PAPA!" Burgerpants yelled hysterically with excitement, panting like a dog and crying and screaming dementedly with glee as he finally ran right out of Francis' poor little head through his snotty, hairy right nasal cavity, then finally into Alphys' own head through her left one!
"Oh dear god, I can actually literally FEEL him making his way into my freaking central nervous system as we speak...believe it or not, this might actually be THE absolute scariest experience of my entire LIFE so far, and I DEFINITELY do not throw that statement around lightly, let me tell you!" Alphys stammered apprehensively, clutching her head tightly with her hands and curling up into a helpless little ball of fear and trembling in horror while Francis reluctantly watched in no-less-than-positively-equal horror, already beginning to feel even more terrible for the poor girl than he already had just a few minutes ago as she suddenly began to feel Burgerpants' painfully sharp-clawed footsteps atop her extremely delicate and sensitive little brain!
"OH DEAR GOD, HE REALLY HAS REACHED MY FREAKING BRAIN AFTER ALL! MAYDAY! MAYDAY! GOD HELP ME, PLEASE, THIS IS JUST ABSOLUTELY F%#&ING UNBEARABLY TERRIFYING ON SO MANY LEVELS!" Alphys had a sudden nervous breakdown and began screaming and crying hysterically as Burgerpants did a swan dive right into her poor spongy brain, causing her to shriek loudly in pain as he smugly, painfully strolled his way over to her central control computer and logged himself right in with the password MEWMEWKISSYCUTIE!
"OH SWEET CHRIST, HOW IN THE HELL DID HE ALREADY KNOW MY FREAKING PASSWORD?!" Alphys screamed in horror as Burgerpants excitedly reached over to the big red shiny button all the way over on the far-right edge of her massive supercomputer's dashboard!
"Oh come on, who in the hell WOULDN'T be able to guess your stinking password on their first try? I mean, seriously, just LOOK at this freaking place!" Francis rolled his eyes and sighed disappointedly at Alphys, hugging her gently with his left arm and gesturing around at all of the countless Mew Mew Kissy Cutie posters that she had lining her walls with his right while she just continued trembling in fear, not even caring enough or trusting herself enough at the moment to respond to him as Burgerpants reluctantly lowered his finger onto the button, closed his eyes tightly, wrestled violently against his better judgment and finally pressed it with all of his might, giving in shamelessly to his innermost humiliatingly perverted temptations!
"OH LORD, WHAT THE HELL'S HAPPENING TO ME...OH NO...SWEET GOAT-HUMPING JESUS, NO...PLEASE, FATHER, I'M DEARLY BEGGING YOU; ANYTHING BUT THIS, PLEASE!" Alphys put her hands together in prayer position and begged Burgerpants miserably, her eyes glistening with painful tears as her entire body suddenly converted itself from being fat, short and (actually really not) ugly into being tall, slender and the absolute sexiest thing alive!
"Hmm...actually, on second thought...which dainty little HOLE would you like to f%#& me in FIRST, my dearly beloved SLUT of a boyfriend?" Alphys playfully and blushingly teased Francis, putting her cat-paw hands on her smooth and slender hips, stroking them up her lovely hourglass-figured waist, caressing her soft and plump and veiny boobs with them, and stroking her gorgeously flowing, cat-eared, hot-pink anime hair as she crossed her long and slender legs and sassily wiggled the adorable little jellybean toes of her sexy little cat feet, cutely and seductively wagging her big fluffy cat-tail excitedly at him all the while.
"ALL OF THEM..." Francis (who had just passed out from sensory overload and fainted head-over-heels onto the floor from the sheer amount of nose blood that Alphys had just caused him to spray out) meekly lifted his right index finger up into the air and whispered exhaustedly.
"Oh sweet dearie me, this is going to be SO much fun..." Burgerpants whispered excitedly to himself as he sassily crossed his legs atop Alphys' central control dashboard, pulled out a pre-cooked tub of popcorn from his pants pocket and eagerly, un-hesitantly let the madness begin!
ISAISF 10
"OHH, YES...F%#&ING RAVAGE ME, SENPAI...RAVAGE ME LIKE YOU PRESUMABLY RAVAGE YOUR F%#^ING PRINCESS PEACH BODYPILLOW ALMOST EVERY SINGLE GODDAMNED NIGHT..." Alphys moaned intensely with arousal as Francis collapsed headfirst on top of her and erotically nibbled her quills with his adorably nerdy teeth while Alphys did the same to her.
"Oh, believe me, my equally weeaboo-garbage friend, I have PLENTY of such utterly delightful sexual plans for YOU, especially after what Burgerpants just turned you into!" Francis teasingly, seductively whispered back into her ear as he lovingly stroked her beautiful, glistening hair and playfully nibbled her adorable little cat ears while she lovingly stroked his hard, scaly nipples with her paws.
MEANWHILE, INSIDE ALPHYS' BRAIN...
"PHEW...man, this sh%#'s barely even STARTED yet, and I'm ALREADY freaking sweating my dear ever-loving BALLS off from how freaking HOT it is!" Burgerpants panted, moaned and gasped, pulling out a handkerchief from the (obviously unbuttoned and unzipped for fapping purposes at the moment) crotch area of his pants and wiping the glistening sweat off of his face with his left hand while passionately jerking off with his right.
"Oh, Alphys, you don't even realize how utterly beautiful and adorable you really are even when you're fat and horribly out-of-shape, do you?" Francis teased Alphys as the two of them lovingly cuddled each other and rolled back and forth atop the bed together, with Francis gracefully thrusting his firmly erect, rock-hard horse dick into Alphys' vagina while the two of them wetly and sloppily french-kissed each other.
"Of course I do, and that's a big part of why I absolutely freaking LOVE and adore you as much as you do; because you just make SUCH absolutely sickeningly wonderful and amusing observations, you silly goose!" Alphys laughed merrily, moaning and shrieking orgasmically as Francis roared a mighty Godzilla roar and filled her birth canal to the absolute brim with his love, slowly and smoothly pulling it out so that he could admire all of the adorable little cum strands.
"I mean, yes of course, you could also very easily argue that I'm quite the narcissist, which I suppose is relatively fair enough to assume!" Alphys giggled and blushed deeply with intense feelings of flattery as Francis reluctantly stretched her stinky unwashed vagina wide open and dug right in headfirst, eating his own cum and licking the crusty solidified fluid deposits right out of her birth canal and uterus with his insanely long-ass, dripping tongue while she just moaned with immense pleasure as Francis tickled over all of her vagina's most sensitive areas.
"All I know for sure right now is that OH MAN, THAT HITS THE G-SPOT..." Alphys blushed, moaned and panted, drooling buckets' worth of saliva and breathing with the force of a thousand suns as her vagina forcefully ejaculated a second time, spraying an astonishingly massive load of smegma-speckled girl-cum all over his face as he then immediately proceeded to lick every last crumb and drop of it right off, rubbing his belly and loudly burping with glee while Alphys got down onto her hands and knees, licked her lips and sneakily shoved his cock into her eagerly awaiting, toothy mouth.
"OHHHHH, YEAAAH...COME ON, BABY, SUCK THAT DELICIOUS LITTLE TOOTSIE-POP...GO AHEAD AND FIND OUT HOW MANY GODDAMNED LICKS IT TAKES TO GET TO THE F%#^ING CENTER OF IT, FOR ALL I CARE..." Francis gasped and moaned with surprise, panting intensely with arousal as Alphys sucked and sucked and sucked like an anthropomorphic vaccuum cleaner on Francis' delicious cucumber phallus, tonguing and orally stimulating his scaly, fleshy and hairy balls and gleefully licking all over and around his gloriously smooth, rock-solid and ever-so-wonderfully-long-and-veiny shaft.
"OOOH...AHHHHH...OHHHHHHH...UGGGGGGH...LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE JUST SUDDENLY TURNED THE TABLES RIGHT ON ME AGAIN, BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE MAKING YOU SQUIRM HERE..." Francis moaned, blushing humiliatedly while Alphys posed her naked body into a sexily curved posture, crossing her legs and caressing Francis' own legs lovingly and erotically with her cushiony-soft cat-paw hands as she diligently continued sucking his now-even-harder-than-a-freaking-solid-gold-diamond cock.
"Good, because you're so freaking ADORABLE when you're a total mess like this!" Alphys giggled.
"GOD DAMNIT, ALPHYS, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO FREAKING TELL YOU THAT I'M NOT F%#&ING ADORABLE LIKE YOU ARE?! ALPHYS, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, ARE YOU EVEN F%#&ING LISTENING TO ME?!" Francis moaned angrily in despair, his eyes sparkling and his cheeks puffing out and glowing brightly pink with rage as Alphys continued to utterly humiliate him even further.
"YESSSSSS?" Alphys sang merrily and teasingly, raising her eyebrows at Francis, whose eyes were already beginning to swirl around even faster than normally as he very, very rapidly approached the point of climax.
"Hot DAMN, Alphy; I'm going to cum in like literally about FIFTEEN MORE SECONDS if you keep THIS up, ESPECIALLY at the rate you're going right NOW! COME ON, GO! GO! GO!" Francis enthusiastically cheered Alphys on as the two of them finally reached the blowjob home stretch.
"OOH...UGGGGGGH...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Francis shrieked orgasmically at the tops of his dearly loving lungs as Alphys shoved his pulsating, throbbing erection into her mouth as far as it would go and chomped down viciously on the base of it with her big dorky buck teeth, officially delivering the coup-de-grace and causing Francis' phallic volcano to violently erupt a full cup of semen into her drooling mouth.
"HAAAAAH..." Alphys moaned, panted and drooled with pleasure, flamboyantly showing off all of the gooey, slimy, oozing, dripping, glistening strands of cum that her boyfriend had just left in her mouth as Burgerpants gigglingly pressed the FUTANARI button on her central control dashboard, causing her to suddenly grow the last upgrades she expected to be getting: an actual legit penis with testicles and everything, courteousy of his own incredibly perverted father!
"THANKS, DAD!" Alphys reluctantly complimented her otherwise absolutely despicable father for the life that she had just been given as Francis wiggled his long and sexy toes and immediately went straight for what would obviously be most effective of all: the footjob!
"GOOD HEAVENS, THAT MAKES MY COCK FEEL SO NICE...YEAH, COME ON, KEEP IT UP, DON'T YOU DARE FREAKING STOP...COME ON AND SHOW ME WHAT THOSE WEIRDLY GORGEOUSLY SHAPEN CHAMELEON FEET OF YOURS WERE REALLY MADE FOR..." Alphys moaned and blushed with embarrassment and delight as her loving boyfriend placed his equally lovely feet on the sides of her wad-spewing yellow submarine, curled his toes passionately around its veiny, throbbing, pulsating shaft, and began pulling and stroking it up and down with them like there was no tomorrow!
"OH, THIS IS SO UTTERLY DISGUSTING...GOOD GOD, WHY AM I BEING SO FREAKING INSANELY TURNED-ON BY THIS RIGHT NOW...OHH, LORD, HAVE MERRRCY!" Alphys squealed nasally (and orgasmically) as her dick went completely insane and squirted out a heaping two-cup portion of gooey, creamy and sticky cum all over his luscious, glistening, sweat-dripping lizard soles.
"YEAH, COME ON, LICK THOSE BABIES...LICK THEM LIKE HOW A F%#&ING DOG LICKS STAMPS FOR ALL I CARE! COME ON, DON'T BE SHY, JUST FREAKING DO IT ALREADY!" Francis sternly (yet teasingly) commanded Alphys, extending out his legs and pressing his cum-slathered, sploodge-dripping, sweat-soaked soles forcefully against her face.
"OHH, SWEAT HEAVENS, THEY TASTE SO ABSOLUTELY SCRUMPTIOUS AND THEY JUST LOOK SO UNBEARABLY GODDAMNED SEXY...LIKE DAINTY LITTLE CHOCOLATES WITH EVEN DAINTIER LITTLE FOOT-SHAPED CHERRIES INSIDE..." Alphys moaned and panted, blushing and drooling immensely as she licked and licked and drooled and salivated all over Francis' unbelievably sexy soles all the way up (and down) from the heels to the toes (and vice versa) and even providing exquisitely detailed and professionally delicate tongue care to everything in between (mostly just the balls and arches), even going as far as to suck his long, slender toes!
"This little piggy went to the Underground through an amazingly contrived plot device!" Alphys sang and winked teasingly at Francis as he lovingly, passionately sucked his right right toe.
"This little piggy met the girl from whom he had evidently been separated at birth!" Alphys continued singing as she lovingly, passionately sucked Francis' right middle toe.
"This little piggy started out as a complete f%#&ing no-life manchild douchebag with absolutely no goddamned friends to speak of whatsoever!" Alphys continued singing as she lovingly, passionately sucked Francis' right left toe.
"This little piggy went out on the craziest (and hopefully first) real date of his entire life with me!" Alphys continued singing as she lovingly, passionately sucked Francis' left right toe.
"This little piggy lazily sat and watched anime made for children about one-third of his age with me when he clearly should have been going to f%#&ing bed and getting some goddamned sleep for sh%#'s sake!" Alphys continued singing as she lovingly, passionately sucked Francis' left middle toe.
"And now here this little piggy is, already having the sex of his life with me even though I'm basically HALF HIS FREAKING AGE and we've literally only JUST MET on top of that!" Alphys finally finished singing as she lovingly, passionately sucked on Francis' left left toe before finally wetly and sloppily smooching the lovely balls and tops of both of them, lovingly massaging both feet with her thumbs, wrapping both of them right up in her arms and gave them a nice, warm lizard hug, complete with a heaping portion of adorably servile toe-nibbling on her part.
"OHH, ALPHYS...HOW I TRULY LOVE TO LICK YOUR CREAMY TITTIES..." Francis moaned happily as he tackled Alphys face-up onto the bed and lovingly sucked her gorgeous boobs until copious portions of milk squirted from them right into his mouth, then gallantly shoved his still-fully-erect penis into her cleavage as she promptly grabbed her boobs with her big, fluffy cat paws and used them to stroke it up and down until it finally let loose its creamy fluid all over her face, prompting him to then immediately bury her entire face in his mouth and erotically lick it all over.
"Come on, big boy, make my sh#%hole PROUD! Early nerd gets the WORM, am I right?!" Alphys laughed maniacally as she literally turned her smooth, sexy back on Francis, got down on her hands and knees and lifted up her long, fuzzy cat tail as far as it could go, fully revealing and exposing her almost impossibly tight, firm, soft, tender and plump-cheeked ass (which she then proceeded to teasingly slap and shake at him while seductively raising her eyebrows and temptingly lowering her eyelids), complete with the lovely little tailhole and everything!
"You betcha!" Francis snickered as he got down on his knees and began violently ramming his seemingly infinitely cum-supplied erection straight into Alphys' bunghole, causing her to throw her head back and moan through her nose with glee!
"OHH, YEAH, COME ON, RAM ME SILLY, FRANCIE!" Alphys moaned loudly, breathing heavily and panted like a dog with pleasure, already beginning to feel her butt tearing as her eyes started to water.
"YEAH, THIS IS MY F%#&ING AMAZONIAN SWAMP, BITCH!" Francis laughed uproariously as he continued shoving his sore, tender, achingly exhausted penis right up Alphys' sh%#-smelling anal cavity as if his entire sad weeaboo life depended on it; all the while, the poor girl was pushing agonizingly against the green giant's extreme force, desperately wanting to please Francis.
"OH MY GOD, YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE GREATEST LOVE INTEREST I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY ENTIRE GODDAMNED LIFE! LITERALLY BETTER THAN BOTH PRINCESS PEACH, TOKYO MEW MEW AND BOKU NO PICO COMBINED, DARE I SAY!" Francis threw his head back melodramatically, roared valiantly and ranted out a mighty nerd rant as he filled Alphys' butt all the way into the small intestines with his creamy, gooey, sticky, smelly love, passing out and unconsciously fainting face-down onto the bed from sexual overexhaustion as a result.
"Now I just need to finally deliver the coup-de-grace, and then we'll both be ALL done here!" Alphys giggled and blushed merrily as she crawled in-between Francis' legs, lifted up his tail to reveal his also-amazingly tight, firm, soft, plump and tender chameleon ass cheeks, and eagerly began shoving her own newly acquired dick right up his sh%#&y, hairy, pimply tailhole while lovingly squeezing and rubbing the cheeks with her hands (causing him to lovingly smile in his sleep, of course).
"OHH, YOU'RE SUCH A F%#&ING ASSHOLE...AND NOW I'M LITERALLY F#%&ING YOUR ASSHOLE AT FULL FORCE...AND I LITERALLY COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE HAPPIER ABOUT THIS THAN I AM RIGHT NOW...OH...OHH, DEAR...OHHHHHHHH, YEAAAAHHHH!" Alphys moaned orgasmically as she squirted out a metric crap-ton of girl-cum into Francis' lovely little anus, blushing glowingly and bright-redly across her entire face as she struggled not to pass out like Francis just had.
"WORDS LITERALLY CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FLIPPING HOT YOU ARE, FRANCIS...AT LEAST, NOT THE NON-PUN-RELATED ONES, THAT IS!" Alphys laughed, drooling and panting with excitement as she flipped Francis over onto his back, collapsed face-down onto his cozy muscular chest and slept there for the rest of the entire night, lovingly licking his dainty little nipples in the process.
"Well, THAT...was certainly...something..." Burgerpants reluctantly scraped his jaw off of the floor (of Alphys' brain) and sighed exhaustedly, smearing the ginormous explosion of creamy, sticky cum that his dick had just splashed all over the screen of Alphys' central control computer into yet another disgustingly sloppy heart shape and fainting head-over-heels onto the floor, where he was then found by Undyne and sent to jail shortly thereafter!
THE NEXT AFTERNOON, AT THE LOCAL SNOWDIN PRISON...
"SO...FREAKING...WORTH IT..." Burgerpants sat alone and miserably in the corner of his jail cell, sucked his thumb and cried dementedly to himself while Alphys and Francis just stood there on the other side of the bars and looked at him, shaking their heads and sticking their tongues in disgust.
"So THIS is what fanfiction writers have become...absolutely f%#&ing SICKENING, if I do say so myself!" Alphys spat in disgust, angrily shooting Burgerpants the middle finger and crossing her arms over her now-unusually-fat chest.
"Meh, who CARES how disturbingly obsessed these creeps are with you? I mean, after all, at least it means you got yourself a wonderful new boyfriend, am I RIGHT?!" Francis chuckled merrily, crossing his legs sassily and patting Alphys on the shoulder with a reassuring wink.
"Oh, how I yearn for death's sweet embrace..." Alphys sighed as he reluctantly accepted Francis' loosely implied offer and lovingly french-kissed him, knowing for a fact that she had just sacrificed the true love of her life, Undyne, for...whatever in the actual f%#& this guy was supposed to be (personality-wise) other than literally just a comically bad stereotype of herself.
And aren't those just the BEST types of friends, especially for romantic relationships?