Halloween
If I'd been up for an authentic experience, I'd've driven out of town to the pumpkin patch to pick up the pumpkins for the evening's jack-o'-lanterns. In my condition, though, I decided it'd probably be best to make it as short a trip as possible and...
Dinosaurs, maybe
"So what've You got to show me?" i said, trotting after the Wolf into the forest on the edge of town. "Will i get to be changed back today?" "No," Steffenhagen said, pointedly ignoring my first question with a tug on my leash. "Now be a good hog and...
String 'im Up
A rainy day at home, tinkering. I called it home, anyway, the little falling-apart shack on the edge of the foothills. I don't remember...paying for it, or even moving in, specifically. It was just shelter, and nobody else complained, so I guess that...
Sausage Breakfast
Musky lay in bed between his mates, the chubby skunk sleeping between the chubby otter and the chubby kangaroo in a king-sized bed that barely held them. It was good of Rockwell to put them up in such a fancy hotel for the weekend to visit him as he...
A Night on Rumblr
I was getting tired of the lonely nights. My roo had been traveling out of town again, and my otter had taken up the experiment of working graveyard shifts and was apparently making bank cleaning up late-night plumbing emergencies. They both insisted...
Last Job of the Night
Late nights, working hard. It was kind of agonizing to go through everyone's houses, sensing their desperation, and not able to make a move. It seemed like each client was more desirable than the last, and I was stuck having to remain professional....
The Problem with Patches
I still tend to wake up early, my heart racing. It takes a few moments to get myself back together. In most respects, college had treated me well--decent grades, good food, close friends (a couple with benefits)--but there was one dark spot. It was...
Remote-Control Pork
The university music building looked empty from the outside. I snuck in through one of the side doors, hoping none of the musicians had started assembling yet. I caught myself sucking a tusk--silly nervous habits--and tried to focus on more effective...
Darkwater
Estivation time. It's not just being a polar bear in a hot summer climate. As a heortomancer, it's also the lack of major holidays in the summer. When I was younger I tried to be functional in the heat, but as I got older and bigger it started...
Extra Stuffing
The donut shop was closed on Thanksgiving, but I knocked anyway. Musky and his boys had said they'd be doing the dinner for turkey day, but had invited me to help prepare. And apparently this was the only kitchen they could swing that was big enough...
Easter Morning
A powerful rumbling in my stomach woke me well before dawn. "Fuck," I thought. "What day is it?" I rubbed my eyes and saw my room had redecorated itself for a major holiday--a profusion of muted pastel colors. "Ah hell," I thought, feeling my...
Pushing Your Limits
I sat in the parking lot outside the bar, trying to work up the courage to get out of my car and go inside. This shouldn't have been difficult. I'm a grown boar. And it's not like I'm afraid _of_ anything. But sometimes taking the first step is hard...