Dinosaurs, maybe
"So what've You got to show me?" i said, trotting after the Wolf into the forest on the edge of town. "Will i get to be changed back today?" "No," Steffenhagen said, pointedly ignoring my first question with a tug on my leash. "Now be a good hog and...
Pizza with Tommy
So what do you do when you want to start over? Me, I'd been hunting work. Most of my day had been spent pounding the pavement around the neighborhood, but as afternoon came on I was coming to accept the understanding that I was not going to get...
Stored in the Balls
People ask me sometimes what the best part of being a tanuki is: is it the built-in shapeshifting, or the naturally-massive balls? It's kind of telling that they can't imagine shapeshifting themselves nuts as big as they please, on top of whatever...
A Good Deep Throat
I watched Szith's show from the back of the hall, invisible, remembering when I used to sneak in to concerts as a kid. Now I get to do this as my job. Not the sneaking in--just staffing, usually travelling with bands as security. It's nothing...
Halloween
If I'd been up for an authentic experience, I'd've driven out of town to the pumpkin patch to pick up the pumpkins for the evening's jack-o'-lanterns. In my condition, though, I decided it'd probably be best to make it as short a trip as possible and...
The Rat's Secrets
I am Mel Tzourick and I am Mister Rockwell's personal servant. People ask me sometimes what it's like to work for Mister Rockwell. Well, at his home, I prepare his meals, take charge of housekeeping, and make sure his sexual needs are gratified. At...
Volunteering at Work
I was early for work tonight; the setting sun was still pouring in through the windows as I got off the elevator and trundled towards my desk. The tiger working the evening handoff dumped his headset and started throwing his stuff together as I sat...
Making Memories
> `03:15 >` **Hey remember that time we went to the movies?** The lion's message was waiting for me when my alarm went off that morning, and I looked at my phone in confusion. We hadn't met IRL yet--though we'd been growing more intimate online, he...
The Monster in the Maze
They'd started saying the corn maze was haunted. That was ridiculous, of course--not least because demons were _way_ more likely than ghosts, especially around Hallowe'en, and nobody was reporting the maze to be _possessed._ But there was _something_...
Learning the Ropes
I was surprised to start getting responses to my personal ad. I mean, I knew I wasn't _hideous_-looking, but I was over thirty--past the age of 'gay death'--my slowing metabolism had already put close to a hundred pounds on my college weight, and I...
Easter Morning
A powerful rumbling in my stomach woke me well before dawn. "Fuck," I thought. "What day is it?" I rubbed my eyes and saw my room had redecorated itself for a major holiday--a profusion of muted pastel colors. "Ah hell," I thought, feeling my...
Hands Free
Sunday morning in the call center, and the place was empty and dead as usual. Not too many drivers went out on the weekends so a skeleton crew of one could handle the call volume pretty easily. Admittedly, the comforts of a low-stress, low-activity...