Getting Even
There's an old saying, 'don't get mad, get even.' Sure, it sounds nice on paper, but who wants to stop at getting even? Why go to all the trouble of holding a grudge and plotting revenge and carrying out your clever and glorious retaliation when your...
Stored in the Balls
People ask me sometimes what the best part of being a tanuki is: is it the built-in shapeshifting, or the naturally-massive balls? It's kind of telling that they can't imagine shapeshifting themselves nuts as big as they please, on top of whatever...
Containing the Cock
I must admit I'm surprised to see you in my office today. From our initial phone consultation, it didn't seem like you were...amenable to my methods. Someone as used to getting their way as yourself, well, usually isn't in need of my services in the...
Filled by the Pharmacist
There are days I can make it through a trip to the grocery store without being pulled aside for a bit of private use. Today wasn't one of them. It was still early in the afternoon, so the aisles were mostly empty as I went over my shopping list. A...
Yasha's Visit
I told Dad he didn't have to come pick me up at the airport--I'm a big boy now and I've been doing more than well enough to afford a cab to his place--but he was excited enough for my arrival that he came anyway, the older tiger greeting me at the...
Your Life or Your Life
Blair said he was trying to forget. He wouldn't say what could've been so terrible that he'd cancel our evening out, but when your otter's hurting, your otter's hurting. So instead of another boring party, we decided to binge some shows. His head...
Drinking from the Firehose
One of the side effects of having a big snout is that it's easier for you to take in the smells around you. Sometimes this can be good--as my waistline can attest, it makes food smell better. Sometimes it's a little more of a burden, like when you...
Beagle Cock
There's nothing like a job interview to get your anxiety levels up--especially when you're aiming for something above your current station. I sat in the waiting room of the lawyers' office and tried not to feel outclassed, but the brass and dark wood...
Tyler
You know how sometimes you just need a long vacation to relax and get away from it all, but the vacation itself turns out to be just as much planning and work and bother as everyday life? For a while I've been using my vacation time to just stay at...
Big Blue
I know people often think of me as the totally passive bottom skunk who takes anything that comes his way, and... well, that's true and I couldn't credibly pretend otherwise. When people are surprised at why my Rumblr profile lists me as hungry--a guy...
Missing Person
"Have you seen this person?" It's a question I've heard many, many times over the course of my... career. Some might say it's because I work a little sloppy, though it's not a criticism most get to make more than once. When it's the police asking the...
Orc Buffet
I was sick of the kitchens. I'd started working here years ago and still had never managed to make it past the level of dishwasher--the buffet manager had told me I had potential for advancement, but the head cook conspired to keep me away from...