Dad's Home
I really enjoyed writing this lol :p if you have any constructive criticism, please let me know (otherwise i'll never learn!) ;) i stand there, letting the boiling hot water pour down onto my naked body. "ahh..." i sigh.
Duty Chapter 25: A Needed Calm
"i guess alex is one of them," he said, "...i mean...uh...i mean...you know...in critical condition..." jerry placed his hand on joji's shoulder, "go home, joji. we can take care of things around here."
Jordan the Spider
The woman looked around the room critically. “but i \_can\_. is, uhh, anyone else going to call round for a while?" “my housemates are out getting more stuff for the party, they'll be a while yet. go nuts."
Making an interview
"hum not bad your sister is uh, quite nice in these" dera said blushing a little herself though inashi didn't know why "she seems very nice and is fit enough to join our starters we take recruited models to a few of our critics we critic our own work to make
Adventure at Confuzzled 2014
Obligatory criticism: there are enough electric guitars and singing solos across the planet as it is, try to mix it up like the amusing rabbit did.
Stable Service
Oh yes and one other thing, i would greatly appreciate constructive criticism. this is the first story i've ever posted and only the third i've ever written. i know it's not great but as stated above, take it at face value.
Defenders of Evodusai Part 4
One of them came up to me and broke open the bad news. "...critical...missing...painless..." were the only words that i could make out through all of the panic. watching them dragging out the captured fugitives set me off into a rampage.
A Night's Work
Since i'm always up for getting criticism, whether good or bad, i'm putting it up. oh, and i'm not really sure if this is clean or not, so if you guys think it should be marked as adult, i'll do that instead. anyways...
- Chapter 1 part 1 (Writing Sample)
This is my first try at writing anything, its very loosely inspired by an old hungarian story that only i seem to remember, its just a quick sample, part 1 of chapter 1, constructive criticism is appreciated, if you notice, most of the names are taken from
Chaotic Doomsday
criticism is welcome! chaotic doomsday chapter 01 "hi! my name is morris! and here is my school!" morris turns his camera towards the school. "and over here is my crush, penny!" "morris, why are you recording my butt?"
Terveta-Chapter 5: Spring (Part 6)
The giant three-headed wolf had suffered critical damage; all the bones in each of his legs had been crushed and three of its tails were missing.
Terveta-Chapter 3: Payment (Part 2)
Guards were in a circle around the lifeless president, all dead or critically injured. they were careful, though; not one innocent was hurt, and the vault was emptied five tons of gold.