The Red Star: Chapter 1
I want real crits, stuff that i could fix, meaning sentence structure, word usage, ect, ect. like i said, no bullshit. if you really think this is only 1 star you damn well rate it that way.
Backrubs
Dishes were clean and ready to use, furniture dusted, ect. he sat down on a wooden chair as his duty as a servant was done but before he could catch his breath. "adder boy! bring me up my bedtime milk and make it snappy."
Cyber Born Chapter 2 "Variety"
Quicker strike ect." "are you mocking me boy?" "maybe, but seriously where the variety in weapons? the last ten guys i caught all had knifes and they had no effect on me."
Redwall: The Darkblade: chptr 6
This is what we'll do; we lay low for a while, a few weeks, gathering supplies, followers, ect. then we attack again when they think it's safe again. it's foolproof. so take five gents, we're gonna play the waiting game. hahaha."
Gladiator Story 1.
There were flails, long swords, shortswords, claymores, katanas, ect.. he thought he was in either heaven or hell because all the armor and weapons were so good looking. " attention!
Cheshire character intro
Ideas are welcome if you want to be used in part of the story let me know. the johnson mr.jonson/miss jonson ect = the name given to the people by shadowrunner's that are wanting to hire shadowrunners game/wetwork= assassination normal legal crap cheshire
Mall 'Munks ch.1
He looked around a bit before noticing a full outfit of clothing and a shirt lying on and around the display bed (simon's pants, shoes, ect. are still around his ankles). the guard picked up the clothing.
Chapter 3A: Blooming
I blush a little, it i wasn't weird for bathing or showering with other boys or men but i felt kind of weird that i let someone clean me up, you know like wash my back, wash my hair, and ect.. you get the picture.
Young Lovers
Warning: this story contains the love of two young boys, ect. jake and neku. bios; jake, a rather muscular wolf for his age. aged: 12 neku, a little fox, small, slender and soft body.
First official character
Regeneration, detention pocket creation, elemental breath attacks, tranceformation, transforming that the smaller the form more physical strength and speed there is due to mass compression, minor gravity control for weight control as building would collapse ect
Spat's Revenge: The Party
Hamtaro doesn't belong to me but it does belong to ritsuko kawai and the shogakukan production company, ect. please support the official release... or i get sued. last time i checked there wasn't a hamtaro submission on sf so i said why not.
race for your life!
Lita to speed up as fast as she could to get more air as they both jump and did a triple spin and landed on the other side tetsuo was shock and so was hex , later in the race then came the obstacles things are being thrown things were falling and crumbling ect